Today was different, though. Tina had scampered off somewhere once she realized the implications of what was about to happen. His hands wouldn’t stay steady, and worst of all, Blaine just kept looking at him, like he was going to burst from affection, and like he knew exactly what Kurt was going through. He was shirtless, wearing only the jeans that Kurt had instructed him to wear. Kurt was a flurry of fabric, throwing swatches against Blaine’s skin which seemed to be so blistering hot, he didn’t know how Blaine could live in it, to check with his eyes, the color of his skin. Tie? No tie? Bow tie? He pushed his hands through the motions of finding which would be best, pushed his mind to sturdy wool and the temperamental silk and the husky suede which had always been able to distract him up ‘til now.

“Are you alright?” Blaine said, finally, his voice not amused, just musing. Kurt had a needle in his mouth and his backed to Blaine. He took it out with the flair of a cigarette and pivoted, holding a bowtie in one hand.

“Absolutely!” He said- and it was just a little too much coyness for Blaine to believe it. He hopped off the little dais he was made stand on whenever Kurt dressed him and moved toward him.

And in a rush, Kurt saw it.

Blaine was a dom. Perhaps more of one than he had ever encountered. Because now, as Blaine walked towards him, his head tipped questioningly to the side and his eyes looking hungry and satisfied all at the same time, Kurt felt the urge to drop to his knees before him stronger than ever before- than when they had first met in the coffee shop, even.

And it wasn’t an air of coldness. No. It wasn’t a feeling of intimidation, or fear- certainly not that. It just looked like Blaine knew him, and liked what he saw. Like he wanted to study him and document him and do the occasional filthy thing to him.

But for now, Blaine was wrapping his arms around Kurt’s waist.

“Don’t lie.” He said. It was two words and said in all innocence, but there was a swooping feeling in Kurt’s stomach. “You’re embarrassed.” He continued, gently. “The sub in you doesn’t like you seeing me vulnerable and you fully dressed and in control, while that beautiful strong part of you doesn’t like that you’re attracted to me.”

“I like that I’m attracted to you!” Kurt said quickly. Blaine leaned his forehead against Kurt’s, and smiled softly up at him.

“Perhaps I worded it wrong. You like submitting. You are, in essentials, mine. And that scares the shit out of you, doesn’t it?” Kurt huffed and nodded. He had kind of expected the uneasy feeling about submitting would go away once he took the plunge, but no such luck. Blaine chuckled a little. “It’s okay to be scared. And embarrassed. But it’s certainly not okay to be uncomfortable. So we’re going to remedy this, you and I.” Kurt listened to him carefully. Blaine gave him a quick kiss on the cheek, and then released him, and stepped back a couple paces.
He stood with his legs shoulder width apart, his arms swinging gently at his side. He looked at Kurt, his eyes kind.

“This is an order.” He began. The sub side of Kurt became very still. The strong side became harshly alive, clawing at him to run, disobey. “This will familiarize us with each other, and I hope deepen your trust in me. I want you to come over here, and touch me. Wherever you want, for as long as you want, but not in a sexual manner. Got that?”

The sub revolted this time. What kind of order was that? Touch him non-sexually. What did that mean? Did he not want him?

The strong side was quiet. This was an order that could be followed pretty easily. He didn’t ask much, but why did he request what he did?

“You don’t want me to… turn you on, or something?” Kurt asked, feeling childishly embarrassed.

“No, Kurt.” Blaine answered. “We’re getting to know each other. Getting comfortable is a step we have to take with the physical stuff and the emotional stuff before we’re intimate in either of those categories- we’ve already covered a lot of ground with the latter. And if I’m getting a good read on you, and I think I am, you and I both want to at least start baby steps with the former. Now, come on.”

Kurt nodded slowly, meditating on this, as he walked to Blaine. Shirtless Blaine. Who wanted Kurt to touch him. And seemed to expect no arousal to come of it. Which was a bit ambitious, Kurt thought, because he could almost hear electricity between them, like the crackling of a live wire.

He put his hands on him.

He started at the place where his neck met the beginnings of his shoulder, and Blaine let his head hang, to hide his face from him, Kurt realized. He tried his best to ignore this and traced his fingertips over the elegant curve they rested, and the one connected to it- over his shoulder, and down his arm. Blaine’s skin seemed less hot when it was more than quick touches- when his fingers moved with intention, it seemed that his skin was warm and smooth. Just how skin should feel.

His palm ended up cupped around the slightly looser, wrinkled skin of Blaine’s elbow, and he thought he could see the side of his mouth quirk up- and he remembered that catalytic telephone call when- Jesus- Blaine overheard that thing about the elbows. Those perfect elbows. And then Kurt found himself giggling, and from the silent shaking of his shoulders, he felt Blaine laughing too.

“Shut up.” He muttered, grinning, and running his hand up Blaine’s forearm, and wound up with a large hand cupped in his two smaller ones. It was calloused, and ligaments rippled under rugged skin as Blaine opened his hand. Kurt knew what to do with this. He interlaced his fingers with Blaine’s and let their hands drop, moving in slightly closer to him. With his opposite hand now, he found the curve of Blaine’s waist- surprisingly small, up to the pulse that thrummed in his neck- steady, perfectly paced. Then he mirrored the path his other hand had taken, so that they held both hands, looking at Blaine, whose head was still hung, with a mass of curls that the hair women downstairs would take care of once he finally finished dressing him.

Was this allowed? He hadn’t specified. And this wouldn’t exactly be sexual, and Kurt wanted to do it- really wanted to. So, he threw caution to the wind and kissed the top of Blaine’s head, to find that he smelled really good.

And then it ended, because Blaine let go of his hands and threw his arms around him.

Kurt could only chuckle a bit, and Blaine’s lips were a few inches from his ear.

“You did brilliantly, little boy.” And was that a reward? A hug and some words of praise? Because it was amazing how it made Kurt’s heart surge up toward his throat. “I knew you would.” Kurt let out a breath that he felt like he’d been holding for a very long while, and stayed in Blaine’s arms.

And then he caught sight of the clock on the wall.

“Blaine! Blaine, c’mon, I have to dress you.” Kurt said, tapping his shoulder urgently. Blaine snuggled closer.

“No. Fuck the premiere. Those are stupid.” He tightened his grip.

“You have to go.”

“I do not.” He said, lazy.

“Blaine. Get off me.” He didn’t expect it to work. But it was like he said the magic words- Blaine was off of him entirely.

“Irritation begets chivalry, apparently.”

“No, honey, you beget chivalry.” Blaine answered, watching in amusement as Kurt grabbed a green button up and threw it at him. He caught it deftly, and put it on, while Kurt found what he’d been looking for- he crossed the room again, and slapped Blaine’s hands away, finishing the buttons for him, and popping open the top two, before grabbing theends and tucking them into his pants. Blaine coughed a bit, and Kurt glanced up at him.

“You’ll do it wrong. The vest needs to be smooth and if it isn’t perfect, it won’t turn out.”

“I didn’t say anything.” Blaine said, a smirk playing at his lips, as Kurt put the black vest on him and buttoned it up.

“Okay. You’re going down to hair and make-up. Tell them you want Amanda to fix your complexion. We’re looking for youthful, but not teenage. And let hair know that they got a little gel happy when you went to that charity ball. Slick it down, but not that far down. Oh, hell, would you like me to just write this down?” Kurt finished, fishing in his pocket for a piece of paper.

“I think I got it.” Blaine said, laughing. “Kiss me goodbye, babe.”
***

It felt like two steps forward. So he should have expected, in retrospect, the step back that followed.

Kurt was lying on the couch- he had just gotten off the phone with Blaine, and so of course his heart was pounding just a little bit faster. Blaine had just gotten up from a nap when Kurt had called, and his voice was just a little bit lower, just a tad growlier than he knew it. The gruffness in his voice was… arousing. So, he remembered the lesson he’d learned about relieving his sexual tension. Blaine had drawn the conclusion that Kurt wasn’t good at masturbating.

Well, what did he know about it? It really didn’t matter to Blaine that he was… good at it, right? So with a bit of spite, he wriggled out of his pants and underwear.

He gripped the base of cock, and shut his eyes with a shudder. Hazel eyes swam before his, and he called up a dream from his arsenal, which featured him tied and gagged and a certain someone running open mouth kissing up and down the length of his body. He hummed a little, screwing his eyes more tightly shut, finishing every pump up with a twist of his hand- it was the same as it always was- dry and a little rough, and Kurt licked his lips, his breathing coming heavier and heavier- and then his dream of Blaine leaned up to whisper in his ear.

“I’ll tell you what you do and do not need, little boy.”

The words were arousing as all hell, and he bit down hard on his bottom lip. But in the back of his head, another small voice echoed in the back of his mind.

What you do not need. He never gave you permission to do this.

Kurt’s hand stuttered in its rhythm, and the Blaine in his head flickered a little bit, ghosting a bit farther away from him.

No, he thought. It wasn’t like that. Maybe that’s what it was like before, but Blaine wasn’t… wasn’t…

Good subs need to learn not to touch what isn’t theirs.

Kurt tried valiantly to push the voice away, but his hand fell from his cock, leaving it painfully hard as the voice echoed in his head.

That’s right. Don’t take what you haven’t earned, cunt.

Kurt curled into a ball on his side, and cried like he hadn’t in a long time.
***

A few hours passed.

He had gotten dressed in sweats, gotten himself some tea, his hands shaking. He held the steaming mug, and sat in one of the wooden chairs with his knees pulled up to his chin.

He looked at his cell phone on the table. He wanted to be okay. He wanted to be better. He wanted…

He picked up the phone. Scrolling through the contacts, he found Home, and pressed call.

He waited for his father to pick up. He realized then that his father was probably still at the shop. So then, Carol. Yes, Carol would be better than his father, even. He needed to figure things out, and he should really talk to another sub to understand.

“Hello?”

“Finn?” He asked, surprised.

“Kurt!” Finn said, happily. “When are you coming home, bro?”

“I dunno, Finn.” He said, trying not to sound shaky. “I’ve got a lotta stuff going on right now.”

“You alright?” Finn asked, in a surprising show of tact.

“I’ve… I’ve been better.” He said, and Finn was silent. He thought in surprise that this meant to continue. “I’m kinda in deep with this boy, and I’m just… I’m having trouble differentiating him from Max, I think.”

“Is he like Max?” Finn said, his voice low.

“No… Blaine’s… Blaine is perfect. He talks about things like open communication and worshipping me and giving his all. But Max was a good guy. And here’s the thing, what if it’s not just him? Or Blaine? What if it’s just that what they- what Max expected of me was what a dom has the right to expect from a sub?”

“I don’t think so.” Finn said quietly. “I mean, as a sub, I just think that I’m supposed to, you know. Make her happy. And then, everything else would fall into place?”

“But Blaine says that he’s going to be dedicated to making me happy. So if all relationships are supposed to be two people who both want each other to be happy, what’s the point of having Doms and Subs?”

“You’re asking me?” Finn said. “You were always the smart one, Kurt. We like it? I don’t know how not to be a sub.” He said, sounding faintly embarrassed. Kurt chuckled softly.

“I wish I had that problem. Who is the Her nowadays?”

“No one you’d know. Pretty little blond girl who knows everything except when her transmission is tanked.”

“Just your type, then?” Finn grunted and Kurt chuckled.

“Are you going to be okay? With this Blaine thing?”

“I need to talk to him.” Kurt said softly, and couldn’t hear but moreover felt Finn’s nod. There was a knock at the door. “I should go.”

“I’ll talk to you later, man.”

“Okay.” He hung up, and slipped it into his pocket, and headed for the door, looking through the peephole. There was a delivery man. He opened the door, and a young pimply boy thrust a bouquet at him. At the same time, his phone rang again, and he managed a smile, and took it out, holding it to his ear.

“Hey honey.”

“I was just thinking about you.”

“I’m always thinking about you.” Kurt chuckled and slipped a tip to the boy, and closed the door.

“I was thinking we needed to talk. And I just got your flowers.”

“I didn’t send flowers, beautiful.”

“Oh no?”

“Who are they from?” Kurt wedged the phone between his head and his shoulder, and flipped up the little card with a smiley kitten stapled together with plant food powder and the ribbon that held the flowers together. The scrawl on it was familiar.

Is he wooing you like I did, cunt?

“Kurt? Kurt, honey, you there?”

“I need you here.”

“I’ll be there in two minutes.”