“What’s that, Tee?” Kurt asked, biting into his sandwich and opening a file on his desk.

“It’s just that I haven’t seen that shirt since… college?” Kurt swallowed and put down the remaining half of the sandwich, brushing the crumbs away from his lips with a napkin and uncapping a highlighter.

“College was a year ago, Tina, darling.” He said dryly, taking the highlighter to the most important sentences in the paragraph about the unfashionable heiress. ‘gets cold easily’ and ‘size fluctuates’ and ‘looking for attention.’

“I mean, like, freshman year. Early freshman year.” Tina argued. Kurt shrugged carelessly. Sure, the shirt had a few more straps and a little less convention- he had a ton of those in the back of his closet.

He put it on because he’d felt good. Today had promise. Yesterday’s storm left the world blinking in the soft white light that came after it, He woke up right on time, Maxwell wasn’t skulking around…

“Why is this file on my desk?” he asked, trying to refocus. “I’m sure someone down on the fourth floor could handle this.”

“She paid for the best.” Tina answered, looking at him over the rim of her coffee mug. “Sometimes even people who don’t need to be hospitalized demand the heaviest drugs.” Kurt looked at her skeptically. He liked helping people make a better look for themselves, but people who just wasted money were a frequent, annoying part of his job. It was a good job, though. Sure, did he want to design clothes himself? Of course. But a single sub out in public? People would try to claim him- maybe even leash him. He shuddered at the L-word, and pushed the thought away. He was always surprised, in retrospect, about how Maxwell had courted him so carefully instead of just sneaking up behind him and doing it.

A robotic melody issued from his computer, chasing away the thoughts. He looked at the name as Tina asked who it was.

“My critical care patient.” He said, wrinkling his nose, and clicking “Accept Call.”

Blaine’s face appeared on the screen, curls pushed away from his face, and, of course, grinning.

“What is it?” Kurt asked, looking down again at the file he’d just reviewed.

“You told me to call before I go out in public.” Blaine said, as if this didn’t bother him in the slightest. “What’s up?”

“You know what’s up. I need to see what you’re wearing.” He said, eyes focused on one line of the file, reading it over and over. “Do you always start video chats like this?” Blaine asked seriously. “What of my innocence?”

Kurt snorted, and looked up. Blaine had set his computer down, and was walking away from it so that Kurt could see his whole body.

“No. This isn’t working.” Kurt sighed, and grabbed his sandwich, leaning forward in his chair. “Honestly, how can you be so bad at this?” Even from far away, Kurt could see that Blaine took this with good humor.

“Now, see, if I were colorblind, you would feel terrible about that little remark.” Kurt laughed- once again, a bit too loudly.

“I’m just starting to wonder if you’re doing this on purpose. You know, to irritate me.” Blaine pushed a hand through his hair, an oddly nervous movement.

“Well? Have at it.” He said, opening him arms.

“Okay. Take off the shirt. The pants and shoes are alright. Get the black button up without the full collar- and put the black cardigan over it.” Blaine stepped into his closet, which was behind him, and assembled the outfit.

“Won’t I look like I’m at a funeral?” He called, from inside the closet.

“You’re wearing purple pants.” Kurt replied, watching the screen even though there was nothing to watch.

“In the closet and wearing purple pants. There’s a joke in there somewhere, isn’t there?”

“I do have more work to do, Blaine.” Kurt said. It was odd how much more freely he could talk to Blaine without having to look at him. It was short-lived- Blaine stepped out of the closet.

“Slightly more acceptable?” he asked, chuckling.

“Yeah. Hey, do you wear contacts?” He asked, spying a pair of glasses on his bureau.

“Yeah.” Blaine said.

“Take them out. Glasses on.”

“Are you serious?” Blaine said, with a half laugh, as if he expected it was so.

“Mhm.” Kurt said, returning to his aloof machinations.

“Oh, c’mon.” Blaine said, walking toward the computer, as if about to disregard his advice.

“Please, Blaine?” Kurt asked. “That’s all it needs.” Blaine looked at him for a minute, and then turned away from the computer and toward the bureau, his hands at his eyes. “Thank you.” He said, smiling at Blaine’s turned back.

“What I don’t do for you.” Blaine called back, his voice again muffled. Kurt felt his heart lift unexplainably, and he grappled to get it down as Blaine turned back to him. “What time is it?” he asked, pushing his glasses up the bridge of his nose. Kurt glanced at the clock.

“One fifteen.”

“Jesus Christ, I’m always late. See you later, Eyes.”

“I’m sorry, what did you just call me?”

“Eyes. I remember you blushed when I said something about them yesterday. I like seeing you blush.” Blaine smirked at him, and then reached up, and the screen swung to black as he closed his laptop.

Kurt wondered how long he’d been frozen for before Tina made a noise higher than any he’d ever heard.

“Oh my god, Kurt!” Kurt attempted to roll his eyes at her, but all he managed was a breathy little sigh. She rolled out from behind her desk and eagerly rolled herself over to Kurt’s desk, and spun his swivel chair so that they faced each other. “Alright. There’s clearly something you didn’t tell me about yesterday.”

“He commented once on my eyes. Relax, Tee.”

“Babe, I’m practically married, let me live vicariously-”

“That’s going to be an awfully boring life, then, because absolutely nothing happened.”

“Kurt. Don’t be stupid. He wants you for your body and your mind.” She beamed at him.

“Get the shit-eating grin off your face, honey. It does nothing for you.” He made a valiant attempt at his usual withering, but Tina talked over him.

“And you want him too, you so do, I’ve never seen you like that.”

“Like what?” He demanded sharply, wishing that he had prepared for this.

“You’re like… demure. And cute.”

“I’m not cute!” Kurt snapped, forcing his chair out of Tina’s hands and turning himself back to his desk.

“Yeah, well, not now.” She said, shrugging, rolling away a bit dejectedly. “But you were. You were practically adorable.”

“I will throw my sandwich at you.”
***
Blaine had sent him flowers.

He felt like throwing something. Not only a little bit because it made Tina absolutely unbearable when the fire lilies showed up on his desk. It had been about three weeks since his first video chat with Blaine. He didn’t really get to see him outside of that, except for the three special events that Blaine had to attend, and each time he was all stuttering and longing and Blaine making him laugh.

“Fire lilies? I didn’t even know that was a thing.” Kurt said, irritated, while Tina leaned down to sniff a waxy petal.

“They look exotic. Probably expensive. I can’t believe you aren’t going after him.”

“I’m doing just the opposite, actually.” Kurt said, stalking to the other side of the desk and picking up his phone.

“Mr. Hummel?”

“Put me through to Blaine Anderson, Kate.” He told the secretary, while Tina shook her head at him furiously.

“Kurt!” She stage-whispered. “You can’t keep pushing people away just because of a bad relationship!”

“Don’t you dare!” He hissed back at her. “I can’t do this! Not with him!”

“Who are you doing it with, then?” Tina asked sharply. “You haven’t told me any riveting tales of how your love life is going. Unless ‘Maxwell won’t leave me the fuck alone’ or ‘Blaine has the most perfect elbows count!”

“I have perfect elbows?” Blaine’s voice came down the line, and Kurt jumped and glared at Tina. “Because I hadn’t really thought about them, but now that you mention it, they aren’t half bad, I guess. I mean, could be worse. I don’t mean to be cocky, of course-”

“Mr. Anderson.” Kurt cut him off sharply.

“I asked you to call me Blaine.” His voice sounded mildly reproving, and Kurt felt a little bit like crying and he couldn’t place why. He swallowed that, and then started again.

“I called because I got your flowers.” Blaine started to say something, but Kurt spoke over him. “No. I don’t want them, and I’m going to send them back, because I’m sure they were very expensive, and this is unprofessional, and you just can’t do things like that-”

“I know.”

“You what?” Kurt asked, caught off-guard.

“I know it’s unprofessional. I know I shouldn’t have done it. But I wanted your attention.” Kurt opened his mouth, and closed it again. Tina, who had been completely still since Kurt started talking, raised an eyebrow. “Look. I think you’re really beautiful. And on that day when you explained to me how clothes work, I saw how smart and deep and logical you are, and I realize that we’re wrong for each other because we’re both…” He trailed off, and Kurt winced. “It’s just that I’ve found myself dressing badly on purpose before we skype in the mornings so I can stay on with you for longer.” Blaine said all of this in a rush, and when he finished, it was silent. “And I know this isn’t how these things are supposed to be, but I can’t shake how I feel about… this. This thing.” He finished.

“I…” Kurt said, at a loss. He looked at Tina, who couldn’t hear the predicament, but saw the look on his face, and took his hand immediately. “I don’t know if I can do this.”

“I have an idea. I just. I just want to try, okay? Just… just keep the flowers. You should have them. And I’ll come over on Friday?” Kurt could only nod, shaking a bit.

“Speak, honey.” Tina whispered.

“Yeah. We… we can do that.”

“Thank you.” Blaine said, and Kurt could hear the smile in his voice, and he couldn’t help but smile as well. Blaine hung up, and Kurt did the same.

“You okay, honey?” Tina asked.

“No.” Kurt said, and allowing Tina to hug him.
* ***

If there ever was a day to stay home and make sure that there was no sexual repressing going on, it would have been that one. Tina had hinted at another masturbation day, but Kurt insisted that this was the kind of thing that could only really happen once a year. But he did go home early on Friday.

When he arrived at his apartment building, he met Maxwell in the elevator.

“Hello, my little-”

“Maxwell, I don’t need this tonight.” Kurt interrupted- secretly shocked to find himself able to do it, but he forced himself not to show his surprise. His phone vibrated, and he took it from his breast pocket, very consciously ignoring him.

“Excuse me? Seems like someone has forgotten who he is.”

Blaine: Sorry, I realized that I have no idea how to find you without a limo- xD

“Are you listening to me?” Kurt looked up at him from his phone, and at the look at his eye, he felt more scared than he had in a while. There was nothing Maxwell hated more than being ignored, and Kurt could swear he saw the larger man’s hand twitch toward the ‘stop car’ button. So he did the only thing that made sense.

He pressed the call button, and raised the phone to his cheek.

“Kurt?” Blaine answered on the first ring, voice chipper, at the same time as Maxwell said it at the same time, danger in his tone.

“Blaine. I just- I just wanted to tell you where I lived, because I know you would be confused if I didn’t get back to you about tonight.” Kurt said, looking Maxwell straight in the eye. “I wouldn’t want you to worry.”

“Thanks…” Blaine sounded a bit concerned. “So… where are you?”

“Uh, I’m on the 14th floor at the corner of West Centre and 34th. Apartment number..” Kurt trailed off as the door opened, and Maxwell left- and turned around, instead of heading to his apartment, mouthing the world ‘slut’ as the doors closed. Kurt shuddered as the car went up.

“Kurt?”

“Apartment N-18.”

“What time did you say?”

“I didn’t, really.” Kurt answered, tucking his phone between his cheek and his shoulder, and fumbling with his keys.

“I’ll see you in… ah, shit, I had so much to get ready, and I didn’t do it all week. Two hours?”

“Yeah. No rush.” He opened the door and yanked his key back out, throwing it into the bowl on the table inside the door. He hears Blaine take what seems to be a steadying sigh. “Are you alright?” He asked, toeing off his shoes and kicking them gently so that they lined up against the wall, flinging himself onto the couch.

“Yeah. I’m just…”

“Worried about tonight?” He asked, choking a little bit on his own familiarity.

“Why would you think that?” Blaine asked immediately. There was something in his voice… agitation, perhaps.

“Because I am.” He chuckled a bit nervously. “I don’t know what you’re going to ask me.” He said. It occurred to him that he had no reason to trust Blaine. He’d seem the man more on skype and the phone than in real life. And yet he could be more honest with him than he could ever have been with Maxwell. With him, it had been like he’d been so desperate for someone to love him that he’d put on a preening persona- one that he had fallen for. Blaine seemed to like his cold, bitchy self just fine.

“I won’t ask you anything difficult.” Blaine said, softly. “The only problem it’s not going to be easy, for me. To ask.”

Kurt’s brow furrowed.

“I don’t know what you mean, Blaine.” He said, knowing that he sounded a bit frustrated by this. It was really, very confusing. He didn’t like being confused.

“I’ll see you soon, Kurt.”

“Bye.” He answered a little weakly. He hung up and put his cell phone on the coffee table, wriggling out of his clothes without getting up, and pulling quilt from the back of the couch over him. He figured he would take a nap, and then grab a quick bite and a shower before Blaine came over.

If hearts were going to be broken, he could at least be comfortable.
***
Blaine was leaning against the door frame, his satchel slung around his body, looking at Kurt with a little half smile that twisted the corner of his mouth up, and wearing…

“That outfit looks familiar.” Kurt mused, opening the door wider and letting Blaine in.

“This place is really cool. It’s so you.” Blaine said, equally musing, and then turning around to look at Kurt. “And yeah, it’s the same one you picked on the first time we skyped. I couldn’t really risk not looking okay tonight.”

“Why’s that?” Kurt asked, sitting on the couch, gesturing for him to do the same. He had, after all, come to talk- but Blaine shook his head quickly, taking his bag off and pushing it into a corner.

“I’d really rather stand.”

“Okay.” Kurt said, feeling suddenly self-conscious under his gaze. Maybe his decision to be comfortable wasn’t a good one- he sat with wet hair and jeans and a tee shirt that was too loose- and Blaine looked perfect and his gaze laid him bare.

“You know I like you, right?”

Kurt swallowed, and nodded hard.

“Do you know how much?” Kurt didn’t answer that, he just looked at him. Blaine sighed. “So much that the only reason that I didn’t say that I’ve fallen for you is because it’s way too soon.”

“Yeah.” Kurt managed quickly. Blaine seemed to wince.

“But I think you do like me? Or are, at least, attracted to me?

“And I’d like to come in here with a song and a dance like I usually do.” With this, he began pacing. “I’ve always been able to have guys, Kurt. Always, with pretty words, and, you know, I can be charming if I want, and bam. I had a safe little romance.” Kurt wanted to say something, but he refrained. “And Jesus, I would love to just… just seduce you. That it were that simple.” Kurt pulled his feet up under him, watching Blaine as his gesticulating got a bit more frantic, his heart feeling both heavy and light. “But you’re you. You’re different. And it’s not even just that you’re a dom too, but that you are different. You see through me. You’ve taught me so many things, not just about the clothes I want to wear but how I want to be. How I want to be better, so that I might be with you, and this is the first time I’ve ever felt like that.”

“What are you saying, Blaine?” Kurt asked, frustrated and feeling a little helpless. Blaine just looked at him.

“I want to… I want to be with you.” Blaine said by way of explanation. And then he took two quick steps towards the Kurt, and Kurt felt a yelp of fear escape his lips as Blaine towered over him- and then, Blaine dropped to his knees.

“Oh my god. What are you-?”

“I’m offering myself to you.” Blaine said simply, from his knees, head down. He lifted his left hand and showed it to Kurt, before closing his fingertips around the band that lay on his ring finger- the mark of a dom. And started sliding it upward.

“No, no, no!” Kurt cried out, as his eyes welled up, and he laughed simultaneously. “Keep it on, Blaine.”

“Oh.” Blaine said, a little dumbfounded. I thought you…” Kurt through all caution to the wind. He nudged Blaine’s chin up, and kissed him.
And god, it was good. It was exactly how Kurt dreamed that kissing Blaine would be. He thought that Blaine would taste warm, spicy, and fresh, and that kissing him would be… perfect.

It was.

But it wasn’t.

Blaine didn’t kiss him back. He stayed in place, allowing Kurt to take, like a good sub would.

“No, Blaine.” He whispered quietly, against his lips. “No.” And then he grabbed him by the collar and pulled him up onto the couch with him. “I can’t believe you would do this for me.” Blaine shrugged.

“I’m sure I could get used to it. If it meant I got to be with you.” Blaine said, looking down.

“Look at me, Blaine.” Kurt said, determinedly blinking away the tears. Blaine looked up, and his eyes shone with pain- Kurt realized with a jolt that he had just rejected him- and not in the flirting way he had been for the past month. Because it was a heady thing to do- to offer yourself up for the taking, give your whole self, and have someone refuse it. Kurt pulled the collar of his tee shirt down.

Blaine’s eyes widened.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Blaine asked, fingering his collar, looking awed, and a little hurt.

“Because I like you too much.” Kurt said, trying to catch each word as it came out, pull it back. “Because I want you so much that I couldn’t tell you.” Blaine didn’t say anything, but waited for him to continue. “I couldn’t lay myself on you. I’m not a good sub. I’m… I’m defective.”

Blaine’s lips landed on his before he had time to prepare himself for it- and that, that was how he thought Blaine would kiss- a little sweet, welcoming and slightly possessive.

“Don’t talk like that.” Blaine said.

“I am,” Kurt repeated, ignoring his look. “I’ve never felt like a sub, I never wanted to be- but I am and I dream about… things that subs would and I don’t know who I am, I just don’t, and my old master won’t leave me alone, and I just want to be normal, and happy…”

“Old master?” Blaine asked him, tightly. Jealous? Strange.

So Kurt sighed, put his head in his hands, and told him the whole long story, pressing away his tears with his fingers. He concluded with “And that’s why we can’t be together- you can’t love someone like me. I’m not a real sub, and even if I were. I’m damaged, Blaine. And it doesn’t matter if I want to be yours… I know my body wants to be, but I don’t know how to. I don’t know if I can.”

“Is that it?” Blaine asked.

“Isn’t that enough?” Kurt answered, surprised into anger. Blaine laughed, and then looked at him with such affection- not lust or want or ownership, just affection- that Kurt could barely breathe from it.

“Yes. I can’t imagine how that must feel. And I’m so sorry that you had to go through that. And I don’t want to tell you that I can fix you, because I can’t. I can only give you everything I have. All of myself. That’s what’s at stake for both of us, not just you, no matter what that bastard might have told you.” Blaine said, smiling gently, although there was a hint of anger. “But I can help you fix yourself. I can teach you that you are someone so strikingly beautiful that you deserve a dom that will fucking worship you.” Kurt looked at him.

“Worship?” He asked, quiet, blushing. He’d never thought of it that way. He thought that as the sub, he would be the one to do that.

“Yes, Kurt.” Blaine said, as if that were obvious. “My job would be to worship you. And I would gladly do so.” Blaine took his hand, and began to play with it, and Kurt melted a bit under his casual touch.

“So you could… could help me?” Kurt asked, clarifying. Blaine nodded. “I… I think I need to think. About… this. Everything.” He answered, pulling his hand away.

“I understand.” Blaine said. “You should know, though.” He got up, and grabbed his bag, before looking Kurt straight in the eye. “I would never ask you to be an animal. Or my bitch. Or my cunt.” He said, and Kurt almost laughed at the face that he made as he stumbled over the word. And Blaine leaned down, and silenced him with a fleeting, chaste kiss. “I would just ask you to be mine.”

And with that, he was gone, leaving Kurt to his whirling thoughts.