Blaines hands were shaking.  He was about to go on his first official date with Joshua and he cant get his hands to stop shaking enough to knot his neck tie.  The day they met, Valentines Day no less, they exchanged numbers. Their first call lasted a few hours and consisted of them getting to know each other (well as much as Blaine dared to expose, he left out the part where he was an emotional wreck from his break up with his fiancé that left him dropping out of school and running back to his mommy and daddys home because he could not afford the financial and emotional stress...yeah, he should save that for the second date). Since then they have been talking and texting for a couple of weeks.  Joshua was a really nice guy, he would send thoughtful texts throughout the day like "Beautiful day today, hope you are enjoying it" and "Heard this acapella song and I thought about you, cant wait to hear you sing."  Its been a really long time since someone flirted with him or cared about the day he was having. It was nice.  Things have been so dark for so long and Joshuas personality was so bright.  He couldnt help but to be drawn to his light.

Blaine finally agreed to a date.  He had danced around it for a while.  It wasnt so hard because Joshua was a dessert chef at a prominent hotel and worked most nights.  Since Joshuas evening were limited, it was easy to avoid making a real date.  Joshua had this weekend off and Blaine knew if he didnt agree to his invitation it would be obvious that he was avoiding him.  Its not that he did not like Joshua, he really did, he just was not sure he was ready to start dating.  He made the mistake of venting his fears to Santana and she threatened to end him if he continued to be a wimp and pine over "Lady Face."  Blaine wasnt really pining over Kurt, this was beyond Kurt, he felt he could not trust himself anymore.  All the choices he made in the past few years seem to have been wrong.  He has been left questioning all his decisions.  This was not what he wanted his life to be, this was not what it was supposed to be.  He was supposed to be in NYC finishing up school that would lead him in a career of making music and people happy while he lived with the man of his dreams and eventual Husband.  That was supposed to be his story.   He really was having a hard time accepting his reality.  He did not want to start again.

Whether he liked it or not he knew he had to accept the way things were and move on.  He keeps reminding himself that if Kurt had loved him, he would have fought for them.  It was what he would have done, hell it was what he did do.  He was barely 18 years old when he proposed to Kurt, he put his heart on the line and leaped and trusted that the love they had would be the net that would catch them before they could fall.  Unfortunately they did fall.  Their love was not a fairy tale and there was no happily ever after.  Kurt was not his prince.  Princes fight for the ones they love, dont they?  No, Blaine was starting to realize that maybe his whole view on love was disillusioned.  Could he have just been in love with being in love?  Was the love so intense he thought he had with Kurt just something he dreamed up? No, he would not put more thought into analyzing what once was.  He would focus on what is, the reality is that he is alone and a very handsome and charming man has asked him out and he was going to see this through or let Santana kick his butt until he did.

Blaine took a deep breath.  He decided to lose the tie.  He had already given up on bow ties, it reminded him too much of his past.  He embraced darker colors these day and a more laid back look.  He decided to go with a little less gel then he would classically go with.  He was starting a new phase of his life and needed to embrace change.

He headed to the coffee shop where they first met.  He was sure as hell not going to have Joshua pick him up at his house....he had enough awkward conversations with his parents in the last few months to last him a lifetime.

When Blaine entered the coffee shop Joshua was already their sipping a cup of coffee with another cup next to him.  He wore a dark grey turtleneck sweater and forest green v-neck sweater, the color went well with his green eyes. He was glad they were green and not a certain shade of blue he was trying to block out of his thoughts.  Joshua was more of a modern fit clothes kind of guy, but boy did his clothes seem to fit in all the right places, especially over his broad chest and muscular arms.  It suddenly dawned on him who Joshua looked like, he looked just like Chris Hemsworth.

OMG, he was about to go on a date with Thor!  Blaines heart started to speed up as he approached Joshua. "God please dont make me smile like an idiot every time I think I am on a date with Thor, please dont giggle when you say hi.  OMG, I cant stop myself from grinning like a weirdo." Blaine thought he was going to faint, of course he would find some way to sike himself out right from the start.

Joshua got up and gave him a warm smile.  Blaine allowed the smile to calm his nerves. 

He knew Joshua now, he reminded himself.  They talked for hours since they last seen each other and texted quite often.

"Hey Blaine, I hope I got your coffee order right, medium drip, it should still be hot."

They both took a seat and Blaine took the coffee.  "Yes, thanks, it perfect." His heart twinge a little when he remembered the last time he had been impressed when someone remembered his coffee order.

This place was starting to make him claustrophobic. "Um, why dont we get out of here, I am kind of getting tired of coffee shops," Blaine said trying to redirect his thoughts towards the date.  "So what did you have mind for us to do?"

"I thought we could go see a movie and then maybe we go to this Italian place I know by the theater.  Its not too big, but they serve authentic Italian food thats really good."

"That sounds great, lead the way."                                                

After the movie, Blaine felt much more relaxed.  Their hands would brush each others here and there throughout the movie as they shared snacks.  He had to admit, it felt kind of nice, he missed feeling comfortable with someone.  As they walked to the café Joshua grab his hand as he led them across the street and kept holding it as they walked down the block until they entered the restaurant.  First it felt a little weird and Blaine felt a little anxious, but then he let go and again allowed the warmth of the physical contact seep in.

Joshua let Blaine order first, ever the gentleman.  Blaine had the fettuccine alfredo and Joshua had the gnocchi. 

"Wow, the food is really good." Blaine said has he took another bite.

"Well, as a chef, I feel its a requirement to know the best places to eat.  You must have gone to a lot of great places to eat while living in NYC."

"A bit.  My first year I over indulged and had to really work to drop the freshman 15.  Youre right, there are all kinds of great food in the city and its definitely something I miss." Blaine was glad not to have availability of an abundance amount of comfort food.  He didnt need to be fat on top of being alone and pathetic.

"Ive been wanting to ask you, why the move back to Ohio?  I mean, I love it and cant imagine moving, but I know most will say that a move back after the city is unthinkable," as Joshua looked at him genuinely interested.

Blaine clears his throat a little and take a sip of his water.  "Um, I guess I just figured it was not the right fit for me at the time.  I do hope to move back eventually, but I decided to move back home to think about my priorities and what I really wanted."

Joshua smiled and looked at Blaine like he just gave him a present.  "Well, I guess I am one of the lucky ones to benefit from that decision.  Im really glad I bumped into you that day."

Blaine couldnt help but smile from the compliment, this guy was really sweet.  "Me too."

The rest of the dinner goes smoothly.  They talk about their lives and aspirations.   Joshua is a senior, finishing culinary school and hopes to one day open up his own bakery.  Blaine shares his interest in music and indecision on what exactly in the field he plans to pursue.  All hes figured out is that he loves music and plans to pursue a career in it whether it be in performing, producing, writing, or teaching.  He is still feeling his way through.  They talk about friends, family, and general likes and dislikes.  Blaine shares as much as he can without getting to deep and revealing anything to do with his life with Kurt.

Its almost officially spring now and the weather is not too cold, so they walked for a while, brushing their hands and side together from time to time and enjoying each others company.

Joshua walks Blaine to his gate.  "I really enjoyed going out with you tonight.  I think you are really brave to leave NYC to come back to figure things out.  Not everyone would have the courage to drop their dream school and pause their lives to get their head straight. Id have probably messed up and fail before I made the mature decision to step away."

Blaine looked down a little shamefully. "I wouldnt say I was brave, Im just lost and trying to tread water since Ive been back."

Joshua take his finger and tilts Blaine chin up so they are looking at each other now. The sea of green sparklying at him had a calming effect.  "Well, I see courage Blaine Anderson and from what I know about you so far, this is just a brief pit stop on your way to greatness."

Joshua leans in and softly kisses Blaines lips.  Blaine lets his warmth radiate throughout his whole body.  Guilt starts to prick at him as he looks at this incredibly genuine guy and knows he has to tell him the truth.

"Listen Joshua, Im sorry I have not been completely honest, but a big part of the reason why I came back home was that I broke up with my boyfriend, fiancé actually."

Blaine waited for Joshua to look spooked or annoyed.  But he just gives an encouraging smile.

"Thank you for being honest Blaine.  I hope you can eventually feel comfortable enough with me to tell me your story.  I really like you and hope we can continue to date."

"I have to warn you that I am nervous.  My relationship with Kurt is over, but it has left me kind of damaged and unsure of myself." Blaine felt a little raw and exposed with his admission and hoped that his honestly would not make him seem pathetic.

Joshua reach for his hand and squeezed it gently, "Well, I am fine with taking things slow, if you are willing to give me a chance" as he looks into Blaines eyes searchingly as he was looking for some hope to continue.

Blaine takes a deep breath and even though he feels anxious, he takes the warmth that continues to resonate from Joshuas kiss as a sign that it is a step in the right direction.

He bites his lip and finds a bit of courage and says "I think Id like that."