"You want me to wait for you?" Sam asked.

"Huh?" Blaine said, clearly distracted.

"You don't have your car, remember?"

"I'll take him home when they're done," Finn offered.

"Thanks," Blaine said as he finally figured out what they were talking about.

Finn nodded. "And I'm going to stay down here and put head phones on. I don't want to hear screaming…from anything."

Blaine gave Finn a cold look. "We're not gonna have sex, Finn."

"I've heard that before."

"Finn!"

"Fine, but I don't want to hear you two yelling at each other either. I'm just going to do my best to ignore you guys. You can get me when you're ready to go home."

Blaine rolled his eyes at Finn and said goodbye to Sam. True to his word, Finn went into the other room and put head phones in.

Blaine walked over to the stairs but stopped short of walking up them. Now that he was able to go see Kurt, he was petrified to. He knew there was a good chance that Kurt was going to break up with him when they talked, and he wanted to avoid that. However, there was also hope in this pending conversation so he wanted to get there and see what happened. His heart was beating so fast he could practically feel his blood rushing through his veins, and his breathing was erratic. He took a deep breath and let it out slowly as he rubbed his sweaty palms on his pants. He needed to calm down, or he wasn't going to survive this talk, he might not even get to the talk.

Get it together, Blaine, he thought as he made his way up the stairs.

Blaine walked up to Kurt's door and knocked softly.

"Come in," Kurt called from the other side of the door.

Blaine took another deep breath and opened the door. He walked into the familiar room and shut the door behind him. Kurt was sitting on the bed watching Blaine with nervous eyes. Blaine had an equally scared expression on his face. Blaine wanted so badly to go over to Kurt, but he forced himself to stay standing right inside the room.

"You can come sit down," Kurt said, but his voice sounded a little unsure.

Blaine walked over to the bed and sat down next to Kurt but was careful to make sure they weren't touching. He actually tried to stay out of touching distance because he didn't trust himself not to reach out and touch him. His hands were aching to feel Kurt, but he forced them to stay in his lap. He didn't even look at Kurt because he knew that would just make it more difficult.

Kurt watched Blaine carefully for a few minutes in silence. He felt kind of stupid for not saying anything when he was the one who said he wanted to talk, but he was still kind of caught off guard that he was there. He could see how scared Blaine was, and a part of him wanted to comfort him and tell him that everything was going to be okay, but he couldn't do that. So instead, he went for a different approach.

"I got the CD," Kurt said. "You sounded amazing."

Blaine smiled shyly. "Thank you."

"I'm sure Rachel told you why I wanted that."

"Yeah," Blaine said carefully, trying to brace himself for what was coming.

"Your performance in New York wasn't the first thing I thought of."

Blaine looked at Kurt with hopeful eyes. "It wasn't?"

Kurt gave a small smile. "No."

Blaine let a breath out that he didn't even realize he was holding. He let himself relax a little after hearing that. If New York wasn't the first thing Kurt thought of then there might be hope after all. Blaine closed his eyes and a small smile crept onto his face. He had never been so happy hear anything in his life. He knew this didn't mean Kurt forgave him, and he knew it was far from over, but it was a step in the right direction.

Kurt wanted to comfort Blaine after he saw how he visibly relaxed at his words. He was itching to make everything better between them, but he couldn't do that yet. He had to find out what he came here to find out. "Blaine, I need you to tell me what you did, and who it was with," Kurt said softly. "I need to know everything."

"Kurt, it didn't mean anything, neither did the guy it was with," Blaine said.

"I know you say it didn't mean anything, but I need to know. Please."

The pair locked eyes for several long moments. Blaine didn't want to do this, didn't want to admit what he had done in any more detail than he had, but Kurt's blue eyes that he loved so much were tearing into him. "Why?" Blaine asked helplessly.

"My imagination has been getting the best of me," Kurt replied just as fresh tears started to form in his eyes. "I've been thinking of everything you could have done, and everyone you could have done it with, and it's driving me crazy. I just want…I need to know the truth, Blaine."

Blaine didn't want to talk about this, but he knew he owed it to Kurt. He sighed and looked away from Kurt. He wouldn't be able to talk about this if he kept his eyes on the man he wronged. "Where do you want me to start?"

"Who was it with?"

"His name's Eli. I met him online through Jeff."

"Did you know him long?"

"No. I'd only been talking to him for about a week before we met up."

"And was that the first time?"

"That was the only time. I haven't even talked to him since," Blaine said and looked at Kurt to make sure he understood and believed him.

Kurt nodded in response to the unasked question to let him know that he believed him. "And what happened when you two met?"

"Kurt…"Blaine said as he dropped his head in his hands.

"Please, Blaine, just tell me."

Blaine groaned and ran his hands through his hair, not caring that he probably just messed it up horribly. He hated this. "How…detailed do you want me to get?"

Kurt thought about that for a few seconds. He wanted to know everything Blaine did, but he hadn't really thought about how graphic he wanted Blaine to be. He wasn't sure he could handle knowing all the details. He just knew he wanted to know what happened. Kurt didn't really know how to answer that question. "Well, I don't really need to know positions or anything, but I want to know what happened."

"Positions?" Blaine inquired softly to himself, and then realization hit him like a smack in the face, and he looked at Kurt. "Wait. You think I actually had sex with him?"

"You didn't?" Kurt squeaked out.

"No!" Blaine exclaimed.

Kurt watched Blaine warily for a minute, studying his face, as if he was trying to find some sign that Blaine might have been lying, but he didn't find anything. Blaine looked so raw in front of him, staring at him, waiting for a reply. Kurt was stuck frozen, still trying to get his mind to wrap around the fact that Blaine didn't have sex with another guy. Slowly, the images of that happening fled from Kurt's mind. Kurt allowed himself to smile as the images of Blaine pushing himself into someone else, and of Blaine being stretched by someone else, floated away. Unfortunately, other images were still present.

"So, what did you do with him?" Kurt finally asked after he found his voice again.

"Mostly, made out, but we did…" Blaine wasn't sure how to say what he wanted to say without making things worse for Kurt so he let his words trail off.

"You got off," Kurt concluded for him.

Blaine bit his bottom lip nervously. "Barely, but yeah."

"How?"

"We jerked each other off," Blaine said, unable to look at Kurt as he spoke.

Kurt nodded slowly to himself as the remaining images left his mind. All he was left with was Blaine kissing someone else and roaming hands. It wasn't good, by any means, but Kurt thought he could handle hands. He hadn't realized until that moment that what Blaine did with this guy really was going to affect how everything went with them. Kurt didn't think what happened would matter that much. As it turns out, it did matter; Kurt just didn't know it would.

"How was it?" Kurt asked quietly. He had no idea why he was asking this, maybe to know if it was worth it, maybe to just have some confidence that Blaine still preferred him, maybe to just know how it was with another guy. He knew it made no sense, but he wanted to know.

"What?" Blaine asked. Exasperation was clear in his voice and on his face as he looked back to Kurt.

"I just mean, you said you barely came, and I've never had an issue getting you to. Was he that bad?"

Blaine gave a short, bitter laugh. "He could have been the most talented guy in the world with it, and it wouldn't have mattered. He wasn't you." Kurt gave Blaine a look that clearly told him he wanted him to continue with his explanation. "Kurt, it was difficult enough for me to get hard for him, let alone come from him because I didn't want him."

Kurt let out a huff and threw his hands in the air. "Then why did you do it?"

Blaine directed his eyes to his hands in his lap. He couldn't look at Kurt, couldn't face what he had done so head on. Kurt looked so defeated, and that look of pain on his face made Blaine feel like someone had stabbed him in the heart and twisted the knife. There wasn't a right answer to the question; there was nothing Blaine could say to make what he did okay, and he knew that.

"Because I wanted you, and you weren't here," Blaine said softly after some time.

Kurt glared at Blaine. "So, because you were lonely while I was busy in New York, doing what you told me to do, you thought it was a good idea to go hook up with some guy?" Kurt's voice was loud, but it was shaking, like he was losing control.

"No!" Blaine nearly screamed. He let out a deep breath to calm himself down. Them yelling at each other wasn't going to get them anywhere, and Blaine had no right to yell at Kurt. "I just…It was nice to feel wanted, Kurt."

"I didn't make you feel wanted?"

Blaine looked at Kurt, and that pained expression written on his face was answer enough. No, Blaine hadn't felt wanted by Kurt. Kurt actually felt a little guilty at that. How could Blaine think that he didn't want him? He always wanted him, even when he knew he shouldn't.

Kurt wanted to show Blaine just how wrong he was, wanted to touch him so badly that his hands were aching from lack of contact. He knew wanting to do this was wrong. He shouldn't even entertain the idea of comforting Blaine after what he did, but it wasn't just about Blaine. Kurt wanted the comfort too, he wanted the connection, and he wanted the small sting of guilt that was living in his chest to dissipate.

Fuck it, Kurt thought with a quiet huff.

Kurt leaned forward and wrapped one of his hands around Blaine's neck, pulling him into a kiss. The instant their lips met Kurt felt a little better. Blaine froze momentarily under the feel of Kurt's lips on his before he responded hungrily. Once Blaine responded to the kiss, it was as if something clicked for both of them. Something that was missing before fell into place as their mouths worked each other.

The kiss was hungry on both sides, and neither boy wasted any opportunity to taste every part they could get to. Blaine's tongue ghosted over Kurt's lips, and he opened his mouth to tangle their tongues together. Their mouths opened to each other easily, and their tongues battled against each other smoothly. Both were letting out quiet groans and moaning into the other's mouth. Just the feel of their tongues sliding smoothly against each other was heaven. Their hands traveled each other, each pulling on the other, trying to bring that person closer. It was like they couldn't get enough. There was no such thing as too much touching, too much tasting.

Kurt maneuvered himself onto Blaine's lap, spreading his legs so he was straddling Blaine's waist. Blaine's hands moved to Kurt's ass, and he squeezed tightly. Kurt groaned against Blaine's lips as he fisted his hair. Kurt had forgotten how good Blaine tasted, how amazing he felt, how he could allow himself to be so uninhibited with him. He knew he shouldn't be doing this, but he couldn't bring himself to stop. He didn't want to stop. It all felt too good. The more he touched and tasted Blaine, the lighter he felt. The darkness that lived in him the past couple of weeks started to slowly dissipate, and he loved it.

Kurt rolled his hips just enough for their already hard cocks to brush against each other which caused Blaine to let out a moan and grip Kurt's hips. Kurt smiled to himself at the reaction he got and continued his movements. Blaine caught himself raising his hips to meet Kurt's thrusts and couldn't even bring himself to care. He knew he should feel wrong about doing this, but he didn't. All he could think about was Kurt on top of him and how amazing it felt to have him there, kissing him, grabbing at him, rubbing against him. It was so unreal and so wonderful.

"Oh, shit, Kurt," Blaine groaned just as Kurt rolled against him in the perfect way. "God, so good."

Even though Kurt had Blaine's incredibly hard cock to go by, he could tell just from Blaine's word choice that he was so incredibly turned on. Blaine always turned into a dirty mouthed babbler when they fooled around, and Kurt always loved hearing Blaine that way.

Kurt pushed Blaine down onto the bed the rest of the way while never leaving his lap. He continued rolling his hips, continued forcing their cocks to rub against each other. Blaine groaned at the sensation of the new angle, letting out another half swear, and Kurt used that moment to his advantage. Once their lips were no longer touching, Kurt allowed his mouth to travel down Blaine's neck, leaving gentle nips the whole way. Kurt didn't think it was possible, but he had forgotten how good Blaine tasted, forgotten how much he loved making Blaine wriggle and moan, forgotten how the sounds of Blaine's moans were like sweet music to his ears. Kurt had actually always prized himself in the fact that he could drive Blaine absolutely crazy without taking any clothes off.

Blaine let out more hushed moans and obscenities at feeling Kurt's mouth on his neck. When Blaine's shirt stopped Kurt from going any lower, he moved back up his neck and found Blaine's lips again. He pulled Blaine into another hot kiss and started gently nibbling his lower lip. Blaine raked his nails down Kurt's back in response, and Kurt had to let go of Blaine's lip to let out a moan. Blaine grabbed Kurt's ass and captured his mouth again. He swallowed Kurt's next moan as he continued to respond to his thrusts. The combination of Kurt's mouth and his hips was starting to be too much for Blaine. After almost two months of not having either and weeks of not knowing if he would ever get them again, Blaine was losing control. He could feel his whole body tightening and hot liquid pooling low in his stomach.

"Fuck, Kurt," Blaine panted. "I'm…" He had intended to tell him that he was close, but he hadn't been able to finish his sentence because another groan fell from his lips as Kurt started rolling his hips faster, trusting them down on him just a little bit harder.

"I know," Kurt replied with a quick nod and a smile to himself at how wrecked Blaine sounded.

Kurt didn't stop; he couldn't stop. He knew he shouldn't be doing this, knew he shouldn't have started this to begin with, but they were past the point of no return. Kurt was close too, so close. His body felt like it was on fire, and he was shaking before his orgasm even hit him.

Blaine pulled Kurt to him for another kiss. He gripped Kurt's hips as his body got tighter and tighter. He didn't want this to end. He wanted to stay like this with Kurt for as long as he could, but he knew his body wasn't going to give him a choice very shortly. His cock was starting to ache with the need for release, and Kurt kept pushing against it with strong, sure thrusts. He took a moment to be grateful that they hadn't actually had sex because he knew that if Kurt was getting him to go this fast from just grinding with clothes on that the amount of time he would have lasted with Kurt's mouth or ass would have been damn near embarrassing. Blaine finally couldn't hold back any longer and let himself go. He moaned Kurt's name out as his whole body started to spasm.

Kurt knew the second Blaine came, and he let himself go too, following Blaine only a few pumps later. He collapsed on top of Blaine, his head falling next to his, as he waited for his body to stop shaking. He tried to get his breathing under control, but it was so difficult to do when he was inhaling the smell of Blaine and sex.

After a couple of minutes of heavy breathing on both sides, Kurt pulled himself off of Blaine and laid next to him. Blaine whined at the loss of contact but didn't move to hold Kurt there. Kurt looked over at the man next to him and had to fight off a smile. He had missed being able to make Blaine fall apart so completely, missed seeing how Blaine looked after he came. He couldn't even bring himself to care that he might have ruined a pair of nice pants.

"Don't ever accuse me of not wanting you again," Kurt said.

"I might have to accuse you of it more often if that's the response I'm gonna get," Blaine replied with a small chuckle.

Kurt let out a quick laugh. "Sorry about kind of attacking you like that."

"Oh, I didn't mind."

"Clearly," Kurt replied as he gestured to the wet spot on Blaine's pants.

Blaine glanced down at his lap and chuckled, shaking his head at himself. It had been a while since he had been so turned on that he actually came in his pants. Kurt silently got up from the bed and tossed Blaine a pair of his sweats. They had learned a while ago (thanks to situations just like this) that Blaine couldn't fit into Kurt's jeans, but that he did fit into his sweats, even if they were a little long on him.

The boys changed pants in silence. They, surprisingly, didn't even watch the other person even though they were right there, and it would have been so easy. After they both got out of their temporarily ruined pants and into fresh ones, they sat back on the bed. They stayed within touching distance, but Kurt made a point of not touching Blaine. They looked very similar to how they looked before they mauled each other, only with different pants on.

"You know we shouldn't have done that," Kurt said.

Blaine looked at Kurt when he spoke. He wanted to be able to argue with him, but he knew he really couldn't so he nodded instead.

"It doesn't change how I feel," Kurt said.

Blaine tensed a little and continued to stare at Kurt. "How do you feel?"

"Like I can't trust you. I mean, say I do forgive you, and we go back to how we were before this, what happens the next time you feel lonely? And don't say it won't happen because we both know it will."

Blaine opened his mouth to respond, but nothing came out. Kurt was right; he couldn't say that he wouldn't get lonely again because he knew he definitely would get lonely again. He hated that he didn't have Kurt around, that he couldn't talk to him or see him whenever he wanted. He hated the situation they had gotten themselves into even though he knew it was what was best for Kurt. Blaine knew he didn't handle being alone well. He never had been good at being completely by himself, but he also knew that he just had to remember that even though Kurt wasn't physically there, that didn't mean he was alone.

"I won't say that I won't get lonely again," Blaine said after a minute. "But I will say that I won't do that again. That was a huge mistake. I knew it the second I did it, and I swear to God I won't make that mistake again."

Kurt eyed Blaine carefully for a minute. He wanted to believe him, he really did, but he wasn't sure he could. The darkness that had left while he was in Blaine's lap was already starting to creep back in and cause doubts. He knew he still loved Blaine, regardless of what had happened, and he really did want to forgive him, but he couldn't fully get rid of the doubt in the back of his mind. Even though Kurt thought he could move past the roaming hands, he didn't want it to happen again; he wouldn't be able to handle it happening to him again, and he really didn't want to set himself up to fail.

"You can't be sure of that," Kurt replied softly. He hated hearing himself say that, but he had to be the rational one because he knew there was no way Blaine was going to be.

"Yes, I can," Blaine said adamantly.

"Fine. Then, I can't be sure of that."

Blaine's eyes glazed over with unshed tears as he watched Kurt for a few seconds. His whole body tensed as he tried to brace himself for what was coming. This was exactly what he had been so afraid of as he walked up to Kurt's room; this was what terrified him when he first admitted what he had done to Kurt. He didn't want to lose Kurt, and he knew that was exactly what was going to happen if Kurt really couldn't trust him again.

"What are you saying?" Blaine asked, and his voice cracked.

"I'm saying it's going to take me a while to move past this, if I even can," Kurt replied with a tight voice. He was trying to keep it together as best as he could, but he was beginning to fail.

Blaine clenched his jaw to keep a sob from escaping. He closed his eyes and a stray tear fell from one of them. He wiped it away absently and looked back to the other man on the bed. Kurt had tears in his eyes too, but he wasn't letting any fall. Blaine could see the struggle on Kurt's face, could see how he was fighting to stay in control of his emotions. Blaine looked so broken as he watched Kurt, knowing that he was the reason that pain existed for the man he loved.

"I'm so sorry, Kurt," Blaine choked out for what felt like the hundredth time.

"I know you are," Kurt replied.

Blaine tried to fight back sobs, but a couple escaped from his mouth against his will. He fell forward and put his head in his hands as he continued to cry. Kurt could only watch Blaine that way for a few seconds before he pulled him into a hug. He knew he shouldn't comfort him, but he couldn't sit there and watch Blaine break down and not do anything about it. He loved the man too much to be so heartless. Kurt held Blaine as he cried in his arms, and he let a few tears break free of the hold he had on them. Blaine held onto Kurt like he was going to disappear the instant he let go.

"Honey, look at me," Kurt said as he pulled away just enough for them to lock eyes. "I'm not saying we're done. I haven't hit that point yet."

"It's the 'yet' that's scaring me," Blaine replied.

Kurt nodded. "I know."

Blaine pulled Kurt even tighter, like he was trying to meld their bodies into one. Kurt laid down on the bed, pulling Blaine with him, and held him close until he stopped crying. Kurt had silent tears streaming down his face the whole time Blaine was in his arms. He knew this was wrong, knew that comforting each other wasn't what they should be doing when they were talking about potentially breaking up, but they both needed it.

"I'm not going anywhere, Kurt," Blaine mumbled, keeping his head on Kurt's chest. "I'll be here when, or if, you decide you still want me."

"I'm always going to want you, Blaine," Kurt replied with a kiss to the top of Blaine's head. "That was never a question."

Kurt and Blaine stayed together for a long time while they got control over their emotions. It wasn't until Kurt glanced at the clock on his night stand that he realized how long they had been together like that. Blaine had been in his room for well over an hour, and it was already reaching midnight. Kurt started to sit up slowly, forcing Blaine up as he moved, and they separated, reluctantly on both sides.

"You should probably head home," Kurt said. "You still have school tomorrow."

"Am I going to see you again before you go back to New York?" Blaine asked carefully, sounding very child-like.

"Yeah. I don't leave 'til Monday night."

Blaine nodded and stood up from the bed. He knew he should leave, but he couldn't pull his eyes away from the man still sitting on the bed. Regardless of what Kurt had said, Blaine had this horrible feeling that if he walked out of that room, he would never see him again. Kurt could see the hesitation on Blaine's face so he stood up from the bed and pulled him into a hug.

"I'll see you tomorrow," Kurt assured him.

Blaine nodded and finally found the strength to walk away from Kurt. He walked out of the room and shut the door behind him, letting out a breath the second he clicked the door shut. He already felt empty even though he had been in Kurt's arms not a minute earlier. Blaine was amazed at how safe and content he felt in Kurt's arms, and how horrible he felt when he wasn't. He was cherishing every look and touch from him, never knowing when it would be the last one. He had to force himself to walk away from the door, away from Kurt.

Blaine walked down the stairs, refusing to glance back, and went to find Finn so he could drive him home. He found him exactly where he had left him, sitting in the dining room, on his computer, with head phone in his ears. He walked behind Finn and tapped him on the shoulder. Finn paused the game he was playing and grabbed his keys so he could drive him home. Neither man spoke until Finn glanced down at the sweats Blaine was wearing and mentally noted that they were Kurt's. Finn gave Blaine a questioning look, moving his eyes from his face, to the sweats and then back to his face.

"We didn't have sex," Blaine said, and it wasn't a complete lie. They didn't actually have sex. Finn didn't need to know what they did.

"Okay," Finn said with a shrug and dropped the topic. He didn't really want to know the specifics of why Blaine was wearing Kurt's sweats.

Save for a quick "thank you" to Finn, Blaine was quiet. He was still reeling from his encounter with Kurt. His mind was still stuck in that bedroom, still hearing Kurt tell him that he might never be able to move past this, still stuck on the "yet." He was trying to come up with something, anything, that would convince Kurt of his loyalty, but nothing came to mind. As much as he hated to admit it, he knew Kurt had to grow to trust him again on his own terms. All Blaine could really do was wait.

Finn didn't like the silence. It was making him uncomfortable. As much as he had tried to distract himself while Kurt and Blaine talked, he was curious about how they were. Kurt was his step-brother, after all, and he wanted him happy.

"How are you and Kurt?" Finn finally asked, unable to hold back the question any longer.

Blaine thought about that for a few seconds before he attempted to answer because he really didn't know how they were. "He doesn't trust me."

"Any reason he should?"

"No," Blaine replied with a bitter scoff. "But I'm not going to do that again."

"It's going to take time for him to believe that, man."

"I know. I just wish there was something I could do to convince him that I don't want anyone else."

"Staying faithful this time around is a good start."

"I'm going to."

"Saying it and doing it are two different things."

Blaine glared at Finn, quickly getting angry. "You don't think I will? You really think I would be that stupid? You think I'm gonna fool around again and this time definitely cost myself Kurt? It's not gonna happen, Finn, no way in hell."

"Dude, calm down," Finn said slowly and gave Blaine a sideways look. "I'm not the one you have to convince."

Blaine took a deep breath and let it out slowly to calm himself down. "I know. How do I convince him, though?"

"Any and every way you can," Finn answered just as they reached Blaine's house. "Talk to him."

"I tried talking to him about it. I don't think he believes me."

"Then try telling him another way, and if that doesn't work, then you're just going to have to do this the old fashion way."

"What's the old fashion way?"

"Don't do it again, and give him time," Finn said with a shrug.

Blaine gave a slightly sarcastic eye roll. He was really hoping for better advice. He offered Finn another quick "thank you" for the ride and got out of the car. He didn't look back as he made his way into his house, all the while questioning what he could do to help his current situation.