Cheating on Kurt was the stupidest thing Blaine had ever done. He'd had a reason, at the time, had the whole thing logically laid out in his head.

If he didn't know better, Blaine would swear he'd been either extremely high or exceedingly drunk the day he'd made that particular judgment call. It didn't matter then, anyway, because Kurt had already been gone. Not gone to New York, but gone from Blaine's life.

Looking back on the messy path to their reunion, Blaine was grateful. Not because he had cheated—he could never be grateful for that, would never fully forgive himself. Rather, he was grateful because of all the essential lessons he had learned that year—the importance of friends and family, the importance of paying attention to himself and his own needs (Blaine smiled as he heard Burt in his head: you matter), the importance of Kurt. Because while there were so many good things in Blaine's life, Kurt was everything. Kurt was the most, and that was okay, and that was worth enduring any hardship.

Mostly he was grateful because his mistake had somehow ended with them together again, more solid than ever despite being more honest and open about the problems in their relationship and, consequently, arguing more about those problems. And now—finally engaged and living together for about six months—Blaine thought it might be time to be truthful about something else.

Sex was different now. When they broke up and everything was hell Blaine thought he'd never have that again: the perfect feeling of Kurt's skin against his own, Kurt whimpering and begging and needing Blaine. Blaine made himself okay with that because he didn't deserve it, not anymore. But then Kurt was his friend again and then, miraculously, Kurt wanted him again, and Blaine had never wanted anything more in his life. Kurt had been so sexy, pulling Blaine into that room and onto that bed and taking him, and it was fantastic and it was Kurt and it wasn't Blaine's place to take anything from him, anyway.

When they'd gotten back together their sex life stayed that way for a long time. It was too fragile, Blaine afraid to ask too much of Kurt, only happy that Kurt was his again and of course—of course—he was Kurt's. Blaine understood that now. If things felt a little off, like they'd put all the pieces of the same puzzle together the wrong way, it wasn't Blaine's place to decide how to fix it.

Then college started again and this time they were there together. Kurt was a sophomore and the stress was racking up; this was Kurt, so naturally he tried to take on too much. Blaine could tell that with everything going on, Kurt needed it. So he started pushing, just a little. Pinning Kurt's hands when he was fucking into him, or issuing a well-meaning order here and there. Kurt seemed to enjoy it and was always a bit more relaxed the next day.

Blaine was doing it for himself, yes, but he was also doing it for Kurt. He had always known—and time had proven—that he and Kurt were perfect for one another. It was time to listen to his instincts and call it what it was.

Kurt was falling apart before his eyes, and Blaine knew there was something he could do about it. He just had to trust that and man up.

He just had to figure out how.