AN: I’m so sorry for the wait for this chapter, but I’ve been on vacation and stuff. Mostly… stuff. I hope you guys like it (:
10

The next week went like a dream. Kurt was slowly cutting down his dosage and didn’t really have a problem with it as he was truly happy. It was easier to not up the dose when he was happy. Kurt had almost forgotten the feeling. He only remembered what it was like to do a heavy dose to get away from terrible days. He didn’t know that it was possible to do it the other way around. To not take a heavy dose because his day wasn’t terrible. Now, snorting coke felt like a chore to him. Something he had to do to get through the day so that he could spend the rest of the day with Blaine without thinking that he could be at home snorting coke instead. He had succumbed to the happiness that being with Blaine had brought him.

He met Blaine every day before and after work. While Blaine was at the hospital working at the emergency room or doing clinic duty, Kurt painted. They didn’t voice it out loud, but Kurt had more or less moved in with Blaine. He still went to his apartment to get his painting equipment and clothes, but Blaine had silently cleared out space in his own closet for Kurt. There was no way Kurt could fit all his clothes in Blaine’s closet, but it was a nice gesture any way.

There were two towels hanging in Blaine’s apartment instead of one, and two toothbrushes by the sink. In the cupboard beneath the sink, Kurt had moved all his skin care products. Blaine’s bed no longer had one blanket, but two. Seeing how Kurt was a blanket hog, Blaine found it necessary to include another. Blaine had even allowed Kurt to use the guest room as a paint studio when Kurt refused to sleep in it. Kurt liked sleeping next to Blaine. He loved snuggling close to him, and for once in his life feel safe. He loved to wake up in the middle of the night because of a nightmare, only to find Blaine sleeping beside him with the cutest dazed expression on his face.

Sometimes he painted in his own apartment, but Kurt liked painting in Blaine’s better. The lighting was better and he had so much more space to work with. He had always hated his small, cramped apartment, but he could never afford something bigger. The little money he earned by selling paintings barely covered the rent and drugs.

There was only one thing Kurt didn’t feel right to do in Blaine’s apartment, and that was drugs. He couldn’t bring himself to snort coke there, no matter how appealing the thought was sometimes. So when Blaine was at the hospital, he would go back to his apartment and take his assigned dose. That gave him enough time to get over the initial high, and it left him contented for the rest of the day.

Kurt knew that it wasn’t normal to get used to the smaller dosage so easily. He knew that the only reason why it went so smoothly was because he hadn’t had any down days for the last 7 days. But the minute he had a horrible day, he knew that his body would crave the drugs more than he needed oxygen. And he had started smoking like it was his water. He ran though so many cigarettes the past week, just to keep him form thinking about cocaine. It worked to some extent, but it left him smelling like a chimney. However, Blaine took it like a champ. He didn’t like that Kurt smoked, but he figured that it was better than cocaine, and hoped that he wouldn’t smoke that much when his body finally got used to not having coke in his system.

Kurt stood in front of the stove and was preparing a steak when he thought about the next day. Since Blaine had to work this weekend, he had almost forgotten that it was a Monday the next day. That meant that he had to go back to the rehabilitation specialist and get assigned an even smaller dose. This time he new that the dosage he was allowed was going to me miniscule. He could feel the dread creeping beneath his skin as he tried to ignore it while setting the table. He reminded himself that this was better than being locked up in a rehabilitation centre for months. He knew that the specialist and Blaine were somewhat friendly, so they had made an agreement where Blaine would make sure Kurt didn’t fall off the wagon and in return, Kurt got his freedom.

When Blaine came home from work, Kurt had just set dinner on the table for both of them.

“I could get used to this”, he greeted with a tiny peck on Kurt’s lips. Kurt grinned back.

“Nice day at work?”

Blaine took off his jacket and hung it on the wall before slumping down in the chair in front of his plate.

“Dreadful, actually”, he sighed.
“I’d rather not talk about it”

Kurt nodded understandingly. It was one of the few this Blaine didn’t like to talk about, the days when things at the hospital were bad. He didn’t know whether it was because Blaine thought Kurt was fragile or because he didn’t want to bring his work home. In all honesty Kurt knew that people die in hospitals all the time, and he wished that Blaine would just talk about it instead of being down all day. So he settled for the second best choice, to get him in another mood.

He leaned forward to kiss Blaine, a mind-blowing kiss that left them both panting for more. Then Kurt served the steak with a smug smile on his lips. He knew what the doctor was thinking about, he was a male too after all. But they had not done anything other that share kisses for the time being, and it frustrated Kurt. He looked at Blaine’s downright shocked expression and smiled innocently.

“Don’t you like the food, Blaine?”

Blaine recomposed himself and looked at his plate.
“It looks delicious”

There. The moment was gone. Kurt had expected Blaine to play on or maybe tease him, but Blaine was just too gentleman to do that. He had pointed out several times during his stay that Kurt should not feel pressured to do anything just because they slept in the same bed. He had even offered him the guest bedroom several times, but Kurt had shot down the offer immediately, saying that he felt safe to sleep with Blaine.

Truth was that at night, when he was snuggled against Blaine, he couldn’t stop thinking about what it would be like to do more. And every time Kurt had tried to hint it to Blaine, he reacted by either being completely oblivious or by stopping Kurt’s wandering hand. Kurt being the person he was, didn’t want to talk about it. He just thought he’d try again later.

“Tastes delicious too. I can’t thank you enough for feeding me, Kurt. I have no idea food could taste this good”, Blaine complimented him, causing Kurt to blush.

“Oh shush you”, he mumbled, still not used to the compliments Blaine showered him with. That was the thing about living with Blaine. He was constantly bombarded with love and adoration from the doctor. No matter how much he despised compliments as he usually didn’t know how to respond to them, he didn’t know how he’s go back to living a lonely life in his apartment.

“Seriously, I have no idea why you bother to cook such amazing meals for me everyday. I won’t die if we order pizza once in a while”, Blaine smiled, adoration clear in his eyes.

Kurt pursed his lips.
“It’s the least I can do when you let me stay here”

“You can stay here for as long as you want, Kurt”, Blaine said immediately. Damn the doctor, always so honest and open about his feelings. Kurt wondered how he could do that. Just put it all out there, not caring if someone hurt you or not.

“I’ll remind you of that offer”, Kurt said nonchalantly while he jumped in joy on the inside.

Blaine smiled to himself as though he knew a secret and cleaned after them when they were done eating. Kurt watched as Blaine cleaned up. Yes, the doctor definitely had a cleaning obsession. He briefly wondered what it would be like to have sex on the sparkly clean kitchen counter.

--

“So, I’m going back to Dr. Miller tomorrow”, Kurt announced when they were in bed. Blaine’s bedside lamp was on and the boys were wearing nothing but boxers and a t-shirt; their usual sleeping attire. Kurt rolled over on his stomach to look at Blaine who was lying on his side, facing Kurt. His eyes shone of pride when Kurt said those words.

Blaine was indescribably proud of his boyf-, his Kurt. He was proud that Kurt was willing to do this for himself, for them. He was proud that Kurt was strong enough to make the decision. He knew that they would have to be strong together for the rest of the journey and he couldn’t wait to take part in this significant moment of Kurt’s life.

“Tell me how it goes”, Blaine whispered.
“And don’t cook tomorrow, I want to take you out for dinner”

Kurt’s heart fluttered at that. What with Blaine working and he finding out how he was going to tackle the next part of his life, Kurt had forgotten that they haven’t even gone on a real date yet.

“I’d love to”, he smiled softly.

Blaine loved it when they talked like this. On his bed, wrapped underneath each their blankets. In dimmed lighting, giving the sense that they had all the time in the world. Exchanging occasional kisses. Sharing a smile. Life felt so carefree. Sometimes their noses touched, and Blaine couldn’t fathom how that could feel as intimate as it did. Kurt’s fingertips were drawing something on Blaine’s arm at the moment. He had a smile on his face and Blaine knew that Kurt was thinking about him even though they weren’t talking.

“Making a masterpiece?”, Blaine smiled softly.

“I can’t make a masterpiece on a masterpiece”, Kurt chuckled.

Blaine’s eyes shone with happiness. It wasn’t what Kurt had said, it was how he had said it. He could hear the trust and adoration in Kurt’s words.

Kurt had to admit it to himself. He was finally giving into that love that he had denied himself for so long, saying that he didn’t deserve it, that he didn’t need it. But he did. Right now, it felt like he needed it more than air. He wondered how it was possible to get so attached to someone so fast. All he knew was that the though of being without Blaine left his lungs without air and his windpipes constricted. And if that wasn’t love, then he didn’t know what love was. And God forbid, but if this wasn’t love, then he didn’t even need to know what love felt like because this was fucking fantastic, and it was all that he needed. To feel loved.

“Any thoughts on tomorrow?”, Blaine asked, slipping his fingers between Kurt’s.

Kurt sighed audibly.

“I’m not looking forward to it, exactly”

Blaine nodded in reply and pulled him closer, making it impossible for Kurt to continue drawing on his arm.

“It’s just gonna be tough, but I’ve just gotta be tougher, I guess”, Kurt confided, his shoulders broadening automatically.
“At the end of the day, as long as I have you here, I think it’ll all be alright”

Blaine smiled at this. He was mentally prepared to face anything that came his way. It would be worth it, because Kurt was worth it. And he had long ago realised that Kurt was worth fighting for. He also knew that the real challenge started tomorrow.

“You have me for as long as you want”, Blaine whispered, placing a sweet kiss on Kurt’s forehead.

--

Three days later Kurt found himself on the floor of Blaine’s apartment. In the guest bedroom, to be precise. The bed was wrapped in plastic so that it wouldn’t be ruined if Kurt spilled paint on it. Kurt had moved all his painting equipment to this room. The curtains were drawn aside, leaving the room well lit. An unfamiliar working ambience for him.

Kurt was curled on the floor, trying to stop himself from having a anger breakdown. He couldn’t paint. He couldn’t fucking paint anymore. He had excused the lack of work the last week by telling himself that he was just getting used to the new environment, but he knew deep inside that it wasn’t true. Kurt was reliant on bad days to be able to paint. He was reliant on the drugs and the nightmares. He didn’t know what to do anymore. He couldn’t just paint white daisies and pink hearts. No one would want to buy it. He was a failure.

He didn’t know how to paint when it wasn’t a way for him to escape reality. And now he was in a perfect reality that he didn’t want to escape from. No, a voice in the back of his head said. It would have been more perfect if he could just do his drugs as usual. Kurt fought back and repressed the voice. He had taken his assigned dose of drugs and it made Blaine so happy and proud. It made Blaine smile and that was enough to make him happy, Kurt reminded himself. Blaine was so proud of him. And he didn’t want to ruin it.

He stood up and looked at the canvas he was painting on. It didn’t resemble anything. There were just a lot of shades of grey and black. A hint of white in between the fragile lines of gray. It was a disaster. He could paint better things than this when he was in preschool.

Just one hit, the voice in his mind told him. One hit. It couldn’t hurt. Kurt started to shake. His fingers were trembling and he bit back a silent sob. He couldn’t do this. Anger clouded his mind again. No! He wasn’t going to crack, not now. Not after everything. He couldn’t crack.

In the spur of the moment, Kurt opened a tube of red paint and splashed it across the painting, ruining it. The colours collided. They were not meant to go together. The colours struggled against each other, seeking dominance from the person looking at the painting. Kurt smiled sardonically. There. That was exactly how he felt.

“Wow, that’s.. abstract”, a voice said behind him. This time it really was a voice that did not belong to him. Kurt turned his head to see Blaine leaning on the door frame, smiling.

“It’s nothing. Just me being silly”, Kurt mumbled, putting down the paint.

Blaine hugged him from behind and kissed his cheek.
“I like it. It’s entrancing”

Kurt snorted.
“Who uses words like that, Blaine?”, he said harshly.

Blaine shrugged.
“I do?”

Kurt rolled his eyes and took off his painting shirt, revealing a frame hugging, plain white t-shirt underneath that didn’t leave much to imagination.

“You are early from work”, he stated simply, his bad mood not quite gone.

“The hospital let me go early. And I have the next two days off”, Blaine smiled cautiously. He could sense Kurt’s bad mood and didn’t want to trigger an unwanted reaction.

Kurt smiled slightly at this, but the smile didn’t react his eyes. He knew that he should be happy that he could spend time with Blaine, and he was happy, but he still couldn’t shrug off the feeling of need. Craving. Wanting cocaine so badly that it hurt. He could feel it now. He could feel that the amount had decreased. He could feel it in his veins and his mind. It needed more. It screamed for more and it made Kurt want to claw out his brains with his bare fingers. Still, he offered Blaine a half-hearted smile.

“Kurt, are you ok?”, Blaine asked in a friendly tone.

Kurt shook his head with a downcast gaze.

“I.. just really, really need it so fucking bad”

Blaine took his hand and kissed it softly, causing Kurt to relax a little. He loved it when Blaine showered him in affection and it seemed like Blaine had so many small kisses to offer. Just the simple touch of a fingertip could sooth Kurt.

“It’s going to be better”, Blaine promised.

“I know, I know. I keep telling myself that, but I’m afraid that I’m going to fuck up everything like I always do! I can’t even paint anymore, Blaine!”, Kurt sighed.

“Hey, don’t do that to yourself. You are not going to fuck up”, Blaine assured him as he squeezed his hand comfortingly.

“And I love your painting!”, he said with the same enthusiasm a mother would have when her child shows her something.

Kurt laughed dryly.
“You’re just saying that”

“No, I really mean it. It’s a bit confusing, but I think that’s the point. Maybe you should try to sell it”

Kurt looked at him like he was insane, but Blaine didn’t back away.

“How about I take you to that French place you like so much for dinner today, huh?”, Blaine quickly changed the subject and smiled charmingly.

Kurt knew it was clichéd, but he couldn’t resist melting when Blaine smiled like that.

“Why are you so good to me, Blaine?”

“Because you deserve it”, Blaine answered and kissed his cheek swiftly before taking a step back.

“I’m just going to take a shower first, ok? Lets say we leave in about an hour. Does that sound good?”, the doctor asked.

Kurt nodded and started to put away his paintbrushes while Blaine hit the shower. As Kurt heard the sound of water from the shower, he couldn’t resist thinking what it would be like to be in there with Blaine.

--

The two boys were seated in a secluded part of the restaurant and Blaine was just watching Kurt shine in happiness. He watched as Kurt took in everything, the chandeliers, the antique tables and the exquisite food in front of them. The look on Kurt’s face was worth it all, and Blaine decided that moment that this was how he was going to keep Kurt. Happy and content for the rest of his life. For nothing in the world was as rewarding as seeing this smile on Kurt’s face.

“You are so beautiful”, Blaine blurted out, causing Kurt to laugh a melodious laughter that dripped of cheerfulness.

“Why thank you, Dr. Anderson”, Kurt smiled cheekily and took another bite of his food.

“How can you afford all of this? I mean, the huge – I mean really huge – apartment, the fancy car, the expensive dates that you take me on… Everything. How do you do it?”, Kurt asked curiously. He didn’t come from money. His father owned a tire shop while he lived and all though they weren’t poor, they didn’t roll in money either. So being treated like this by Blaine, was just so strange. If he was honest with himself, it felt fantastic. He felt like he was a prince or something equally fancy. Like he was worth it.

Blaine blushed a little. He didn’t really liked talking about money. Unlike his family and their friends, he didn’t like to brag about the money in his account. But, he didn’t live a peasant’s life either.

“Being a doctor has its perks. Like the salary”, he simply stated.

“Don’t get me wrong, I’d still hang out you even if you lived in a cardboard box by central park, but what is it like? Being rich, I mean”, Kurt asked. It had always been a secret dream he had. Being good enough to be a successful artist who earned millions.

Blaine was growing more uncomfortable by the second.
“It’s ok, I guess. I don’t know, really. I’ve never not been rich”, he said with a bit of bitterness in his voice.

Kurt looked at him questioningly and Blaine sighed as he put down his fork.

“Sometimes I wonder if things would have been easier for me if my parents weren’t rich. If they didn’t have that perfect image that they had to uphold”, Blaine answered honestly. If they could have found a place for their gay son in their “perfect” family. The unsaid sentence hung between them, and Kurt knew it was what Blaine meant. He just knew Blaine.

Kurt grabbed Blaine’s hand and squeezed it in what he hoped was a comforting manner. He wasn’t used to this. This comforting thing. Being there for other people. Usually he just ran.

“They’re idiots for not seeing you for who you are”, Kurt assured. Ok, this wasn’t so bad. It actually felt good to put that smile on Blaine’s face.

Blaine flashed him a smile.
“How did I become so lucky?”

Kurt’s eyes widened a bit. Blaine thought he was lucky to have Kurt?
“I think you have a concussion or something”, he mumbled, picking on his food.

Blaine smiled and locked his eyes on Kurt’s.

“You have no idea how lucky I am, Kurt. You have no idea how lonely I was before you”

“Please”, Kurt snorted.
“You must have had hundreds of boyfriends before we started… dating. Boys must have thrown their selves over you”

Blaine simply shook his head.

“Nah. Not a single boyfriend. I’ll be honest, there were a few guys at college who hit on me, but I never actually liked them or.. acted on it”

Kurt looked at him with an open mouth. Shit. Doctor Blaine Anderson was a capital V virgin.