The early morning sun trickled in through the blinds onto his face, making strange geometric patterns, and rousing him from unpleasant dreams. Kurt could smell lemon, but where was it coming from? Oh yes, yesterday morning he had tea with lemon and the slice must have dropped onto the bed from the teacup. He felt around with his hand, not wanting to open his eyes. His hand wandered past wrinkled sheets, over a few crumpled tissues, until his fingers brushed across the lemon rind. He picked it up and threw it across the room, hoping it would land somewhere near the garbage but not really caring too much one way or the other.

His tongue licked over his lips and they felt pretty dry. When was the last time he had something to drink? Was it yesterday morning? His phone hadn't rang in a while either...oh, the battery was dead. Right. Where was his charger?

These few thoughts about practicality were already making him exhausted again. He would just close his eyes for a little while longer.

He awoke again at the sound of a police siren wafting by his window. The room was pitch black, and he had to pee pretty badly. He dragged his body across the room to the bathroom, not bothering to turn on any lights along the way. His dead iphone was sitting on the sink, so he plugged it in. The graphic art fruit icon that he always felt was quite ugly appeared on the screen and hypnotized him for a moment. He should have gotten a droid, did he think he was trendy or something? The screen then gave way to about 20 missed text messages. He groaned, and didn't read them.

He cupped some water from the faucet into his hands and drank until he no longer felt parched, then stumbled back into his bed. It smelled faintly like detergent but more like sweat. Gross. He would have to do laundry soon. Yes, soon.

He lay on his back, closed his eyes, and pictured a scene in his mind. He would be having coffee with Blaine, their hands clasped unashamedly and affectionately above the round, marble topped table between them. He would get a call from Cooper, informing him that not only had they chosen him to be on the show, but they created an entirely new character for him to play because he had inspired that much creativity just from his audition. He would squeal and get up and kiss Blaine, then hand the phone to him so he could tell Cooper what a great decision this was. Then he would bring Blaine back to his apartment, both flushed with excitement and success, and they would make love for the first time. Kurt didn't let his mind wander too far into that part of the fantasy. He didn't want to spoil the real first time when it happened. And it would still happen, right? It could still happen, he decided.

After they made love, they would go for a walk around the city, sharing stories and hopes and dreams with each other all day. Their plans for the future would serendipitously line up, convincing them both that this was fate and they were meant to be together forever. They would end the day in central park at sunset, sitting on a blanket in the grass in Sheep Meadow holding hands and sipping wine. Blaine would think all his stories from homophobic bullies in high school were heart wrenching and would hold him close and tell him that everything was going to be better from now on. That they were together and in New York, and their love was something that other people would respect and envy. Blaine would laugh at all of his stupid sarcastic jokes and interrupt him talking for a kiss every few minutes because he just wouldn't be able to help himself.

Kurt's stomach rumbled. But this picture in his head of what he and Blaine would become was lovely and amazing and perfect, he definitely did not want to ruin it by letting reality in. At least not just yet. Maybe in a little while.

He was debating whether or not to get up and make himself some food when he heard a loud knock on the front door.

"Kurt?" He heard Blaine's voice carry to the bedroom.

"Not nwwww" He mumbled, knowing he wouldn't be heard. The knocking continued.

"Kurt are you okay in there?" Blaine tried again. "Kurt I am really worried about you, please answer the door, Kurt."

"Nope. Not now." Kurt said quietly.

Blaine's voice sounded like he was crying a little bit when he spoke next. "Kurt? So you didn't get the part, so what? There will be other parts. My brother is a douche anyway, you don't want to work with him. It's not the end of the world."

Kurt realized that in order for him to hear Blaine so clearly he must be yelling and his neighbors probably thought he was drunk. That would be normal enough on a Saturday, but today was...wait, what day was it today?

Kurt tripped over his feet a few times as he ambled to the door, not opening it. Blaine was quiet, listening to Kurt's breathing.

"Blaine, not now. Go away please."

"But Kurt, I-"

"Please. Leave me alone."

---AAIGAAIGAAIG---

Blaine edged slowly away the door, concentrating hard to hear Kurt's breathing for as long as he could. He didn't notice anything on the way back to his dorm. He might have bumped into people, he wasn't sure. He definitely ignored anyone who might have tried to speak to him on the way. So Kurt wasn't going to group today. Fair enough. He just wouldn't mention to anyone that he knew what was going on with Kurt.

When he sat down waiting for group to start and Emma to arrive, everybody was looking at him. Sugar and Quinn looked at him accusingly, as if they somehow knew. Artie glanced curiously at him every couple of seconds then looked away. Deera was the one who spoke.

"So, Blaine, where's Kurt today?"

"What? Why are you asking me? I don't know."

Deera chuckled. "You two are friends, right? I mean maybe you are also in love, but I definitely saw you two together a few times outside of group. Do you know if he's coming late today or what?"

Blaine looked down. "No I don't know."

"Whatever," Deera replied airily. "Let him know we miss him and to come back next week, okay?"

Blaine didn't respond, and was saved when Emma walked in.

"Hello, group. Oh, no Kurt today? Okay, well he told us that some days he might not be able to make it. Lets all send him good thoughts."

She took a breath and exhaled, visibly composing herself.

"It has been a tough day today for me, group, but I am here for all of you just like every other day. Today the topic we will discuss will be how you travel. I am going to start this one off with a story of what happened to me today.

"I was on a train that was very, very late and I was very tired. I usually will limit my liquid intake a lot before a train trip so I can avoid using the bathrooms there at all, they are so dirty and smell very bad. But this time I didn't have a choice. During, it wasn't too bad. I cleaned the entire bathroom before using it. But afterward, I panicked. Something about being in that small room on the train and thinking about how many germs were crawling on every surface I had just touched.... well I basically had an anxiety attack.

"The strategy I used at that point was I repeated a mantra in my head while I found my anti-anxiety medication, and took it. I ended up getting off the train a few stops early in order to remove myself from the stressful situation, and asked a friend to come and pick me up for the remainder of the trip.I would not say this was a success, but at least I was able to calm myself down in the end, and I think it illustrates that travel comes with a lot of problems that we don't anticipate. Would any of you like to share a travel experience?"

Blaine thought this was a good topic for him, so he spoke up. "I usually have to make phone calls before traveling. I need to have access to a bathroom at all times, so if I am going on a plane I make sure they know that if I need to use the first class bathroom when the others are occupied, I am allowed to do that."

Sugar added "Or you could just always get first class tickets like I do, or go in a private plane which is even better."

Quinn rolled her eyes. "I don't travel except by car. I can't sit down for any length of time, and I need to have control over it. It would be such a nightmare if I got stuck on a train or a bus in traffic for hours. I can't imagine how much pain I could be in and not be permitted to stand up."

"So you don't travel, like at all?" Sugar looked scandalized.

"I don't miss it, or want it." Quinn replied curtly. "New York is a great place to live, it's not like I need to go to so many other places."

Everybody in the room knew that Quinn was making excuses, but nobody called her on it. They understood. Artie spoke next.

"I don't travel either, except short distances and by car. The pain medication I would need for sitting in an uncomfortable seat for hours at a time, would make me unable to drive and basically incapacitated. Once in a while, when I want to go and visit my parents in the Midwest, I do a road trip that involves a ton of stops. It is really time consuming, but worth it once in a while to see my family."

Quinn smiled at him, and said, "That's an interesting idea." Perhaps there was a road trip in their future, Blaine thought.

What did Kurt do when he traveled, Blaine wondered. He was rich so he must travel. Or was that an ignorant opinion? He would just have to ask Kurt. As soon as Kurt would talk to him again. Blaine zoned out for the rest of group, and his head was still in the clouds when he went to sleep that night, but not before typing out a text to Kurt. He left it on his phone without sending it.

I think I want to fall in love with you. Talk to me.