Sept. 11, 2013, 1:10 p.m.
Alone and in groups: Looking for a job with an invisible illness
M - Words: 1,480 - Last Updated: Sep 11, 2013 Story: Complete - Chapters: 15/15 - Created: Aug 24, 2013 - Updated: Sep 11, 2013 92 0 0 0 0
It was 20 minutes in to session number four, and Artie, Sugar, Quinn, Blaine, and Deera sat in a circle on the cushy old furniture in Emma's office, waiting for her to return. Emma had been called away in the middle of a discussion about job interviews, and the talking had sort of fizzled as they waited for her. Blaine wondered how the group would flow without Emma's presence, and had a stray thought about being a moderator of a group like this himself one day.
The door to the office opened, and Emma stood there with a slightly disheveled looking Kurt. The sight was somewhat jarring, as Kurt had looked impeccably put together all the other times Blaine had seen him. Not that he wasn't still incredibly cute. He was.
Emma cleared her throat. "Well, group, Kurt would like to rejoin us, and I have decided that after the session today, anyone can veto this but needs to give me a good explanation if you do. Kurt, please have a seat."
"I'm really glad you came back," Sugar said to Kurt as he sat next to her. The rest of the group quickly said similar things. Kurt was wanted here.
"Can I let you guys know what happened?" Kurt asked the group, and got a series of nods in response. "I have really bad anxiety and depression, and some days I literally can't even get out of bed. So I can't promise that I will be able to attend every session, but I can tell you that I will try my best. Is that okay with you guys?" His voice had gone a little quiet and high pitched.
Blaine couldn't help but jump right in. "Of course it is. You aren't the only one in this room with health problems."
Everybody nodded, and Emma looked both pleased and proud. "Okay then, thank you Kurt. Now, back to the topic we chose for today. Job interviews. What have you told people on job interviews, and what is okay to tell people? Artie, I'm sorry to have interrupted you earlier, would you like to continue?"
Artie didn't seem to mind being put on the spot at all, and picked up right where he left off. "So, since it's my last year of the grad program in multicultural studies, I have been looking for teaching jobs for next year, and going on interviews. And people ask me all sorts of things that I don't know how to answer. This one guy last week kept asking me if I played sports. He went through them in a list, not taking no for an answer. He started off with basketball and football, and even got all the way to golf. Does being an athlete really have anything to do with teaching a college class? I could tell he was fishing for something, since he had seen me stumble a little on the walk to his office. It was incredibly rude. I ended up telling him that I swim, just to stop the line of questioning. It wasn't a complete lie, I do swim sometimes, though I usually pay for it the next day in pain medication."
He shook his head in frustration, and continued. "Another woman came right out and asked me if I had any health problems that could interfere with my job. I think it was on her list of questions. I really had no idea how to respond. If I was being truthful I would say yes, my health problems interfere with school, jobs, relationships, every aspect of my life, but that doesn't mean I shouldn't get to have a job. I will still be a great teacher. I imagine they are looking for someone perfectly fit in addition to being a great teacher."
"What did you tell her?" Kurt asked.
"No," Artie replied, unapologetically. "I told her I did not have any health problems that could interfere with the job. Because it's none of her goddamn business, and I will still be a great teacher."
"What happens when they find out later?" Deera asked.
"I guess I'll deal with it then." Artie's tone was sharp. He was getting defensive, and Deera saw it so she stayed silent.
Emma let them ruminate for a moment, then asked the group a question. "Have any of you decided to disclose your illness voluntarily at a job interview before? If you would feel comfortable sharing a story about that, it would be good to hear about it."
After a moment of silence that Blaine was actually beginning to feel comfortable with, Quinn spoke up. "It wasn't a paid job, but it was a volunteer position at a children's hospital. I ended up getting it. I actually brought a spoon theory poster into the interview with me and read it to the HR guy. He loved it. Told me he wanted a copy to give to his daughter that had cerebral palsy. That guy made it his job to get me my job after that. I think there are people out there who do understand, you just have to be lucky to find one."
Blaine, who was starting to feel like he had been too much of an observer, asked, "Spoon theory?"
Surprisingly, Sugar responded instead of Quinn. Her pink outfit seemed to fit her cooing tone of voice today. Blaine absently wondered if one contributed to the other consciously. "Oooooh it is this totally adorable story about two best friends at a diner. One of them had a chronic illness and had to explain it to her friend, so she used spoons. It's totally like, brilliant and perfect. You start your day with let's say, 10 spoons. By the time breakfast is over and you're dressed, you only have 7 left. Work takes 6, so when you get home you only have one left. And you have to decide to either make dinner, or go out with a friend or something, or do homework, but you can only pick one. So it's all about like, making choices that healthy people don't have to make every day."
"Nice synopsis, Sugar," Emma commented.
"Oh, and I forgot," Sugar added, "If it's someone who is a stockbroker like my daddy you should explain it using money, not spoons. Trust me."
Kurt spoke up next. "I would never in a million years tell someone about health problems at an audition. There are going to be 10 people there, or a lot more, who want that part as much as I do, and no way a director would choose someone with health problems over someone without them. Literally, there is no way."
Artie agreed loudly. "Yes! There is always competition, and anything like this makes you lose out to others candidates who will just be lying also."
The group ended on a somewhat tense note, with Emma promising them they would revisit the issue in the future. No one felt like meditating this time.
Kurt and Blaine walked out together, and though neither of them said it aloud, they tacitly agreed to wander around New York for a little while. Kurt was nervous and Blaine was just excited. It was the best thing that happened to him all month, almost like a date.
"So," Blaine started, "How come you were taking chemistry if you're a theater major?"
Kurt snorted. "I had a few months of temporary insanity when I thought I should give it up and do something more steady, with health insurance, like maybe work in a lab or be a doctor. I did okay in the class, but looking back I don't know what I was thinking. This is the only life that will work for me. I have to perform."
"Yeah, I can understand that, you're so talented and you shouldn't waste it."
"Oh, have you seen me in something?" Kurt looked surprised, and Blaine sheepish.
"Um...I may or may not have spent three hours watching all of your YouTube videos..."
Kurt, choking on a laugh, managed a low "Oh my god really?"
"Really," Blaine wasn't actually ashamed. He was flirting. "You're just awesome."
Kurt, not one to mince words, stopped walking and asked, "Are you flirting with me?"
Blaine pretended to be horrified, forming his face into an exaggerated surprised scowl, "How can you say that? Do you mean to imply that I am not being genuine when I compliment your work?" He added a hand clutched dramatically to his heart for effect.
Kurt beamed. "Do you want to have dinner with me tomorrow?"
Blaine's eyes were twinkling. "Of course I do."