The next school day after Blaine and Kurt's date then Blaine’s subsequent rejection of Kurt was very unsettling for Kurt. He wasn’t sure what was going to happen that day, whether Blaine would bring up the weekend, whether they would skirt around the issue and go back to normal. But Kurt needn’t had worried because Blaine did not talk to him at all. Nor did he sit with him or acknowledge him in anyway. And in the 3 months following that day, they have not talked face to face at all. They do not say hi or nod or smile at each other. To the class, it looks as if they were not friends. But in the privacy of their phones you would find hundreds upon hundreds of messages back and forth between the two. When they were bored during class, after school, late at night and on weekends they would whip their phones out and talk. They never talked about anything too person, nothing about their relationship and never about school but nothing else was off limits. Blaine talked about how alone and isolated he felt at home, his parents not really caring about his behaviour, where he was and what he got up to. Kurt would listen to Blaine’s problems and try to help him find some solutions and peace. But Blaine was getting sadder and sadder, getting harder on himself and his family, drinking alcohol in rebellion and as an escape. Blaine only ever confided in Kurt, no one else knew of his home struggles and this was weighing on Kurt. Blaine never realized how his problems were affecting Kurt, and they definitely were. Kurt spent days and nights constantly worrying about Blaine, he wouldn’t get much sleep, he would lie in bed thinking of him, and how he could make it better. The constant dark thoughts and unnecessary guilt on Kurt's mind caused him to sink lower and lower until depression was imminent. His family could see his struggles but didn’t know how to help him.

Kurt was still bullied and alienated at school, he was an outcast. His peer’s eyes would glaze past him, not giving him a second thought, unless it was a push out of the way. And this came to a head 6 months after school began. It was a Monday morning late February when Kurt arrived early to school, earlier than normal because he was anxious to hand in an assignment and also knowing that the sooner he arrived at school the sooner he could see Blaine. They may not talk face to face but seeing him in the flesh makes his friendship with Blaine so much more real. Once Kurt arrived he walked straight into his first period classroom, usually people had already wandered in and were sitting down talking to their friends but he was the first to arrive that day so he took his seat and grabbed his book, knowing people would be arriving soon.

Twenty minutes later Kurt looked up from his book confused. Class was starting in five minutes and he was the only one in the room. He panicked, irrational thoughts running through his brain: what if there is no school today? Am I in the wrong room? Do we have assembly? But then Kurt heard noises coming from outside the open door; he peaked around the door and saw his whole class standing there.

“Um, why isn’t anyone coming inside?” He asked a girl in his class. She shrugged,

“I don’t know, everyone was just out here when I arrived.”

“So you just followed?” Kurt asked angrily. He was in a class full of Goddamned sheep. Suddenly everyone started making their way into the classroom as if they suddenly realized they could go in. Kurt didn’t understand why they didn’t go in before, they always hung out in the classroom early. What changed about today? Suddenly it dawned on him, it was him. They didn’t go into the class because he was there. Tears rushed into his eyes and he quickly blinked them away. He had never felt more alone in his life. The metaphoric separation between him and his class became a physical one when someone decided they didn’t want to sit in a room with Kurt, and everyone else followed, even Blaine, who he saw trailing in after everyone else.

Kurt stood outside of the classroom, frozen, thinking for a few moments until he made a decision. He brushed away the tears that were still falling and made his way back into the classroom. He started packing away his book and his stationary he had already gotten out. A girl sitting next to him leaned over and hissed, “What are you doing? You can’t leave!”

“Let me ask you a question,” Kurt said in response “Do I belong here, in this class, with these people?”

The girl turned to face him and answered honestly, “No, you don’t.” And that was all the confirmation he needed because he grabbed his bag and left the class silently but with as much force as he could muster. He kept walking until he got to the steps outside the school and he sat down gasping. Kurt began crying and hyperventilating simultaneously. He grabbed his phone out of his bag with shaking hands and sent out a text to his mother.

I can’t do this anymore mom, I’m miserable. Can you please pick me up? –K

She sent back a reply only a minute later.

I’m on my way.

XXXXXXXXXXXX

Kurt spent the next week off school, a ‘mental health week’ his mother called it. He was going back the next Monday into another class with different people on the other side of the school. Him and Blaine continued to text through out the wee. He had sent him a message Monday afternoon asking about the incident that morning but since then neither of them mentioned it. Kurt just wanted to move on. The only thing he didn’t want to change was his relationship with Blaine, he would miss seeing him everyday but hoped they would still be just as close even with Kurt in a different place. He really liked Blaine, he wanted to date him, to kiss him, to hold hands with him but he knew that wasn’t possible, Blaine couldn’t do a relationship with all the stuff at home going on. But he couldn’t help but dream that one day, when they escape this school and this town they will do it together. So for now, Kurt was content texting him daily and him appearing in his dreams instead. He knew that it was better for Blaine that, for now, they would just remain friends.