Chapter Five

Perfect. Just fucking perfect. Kurt clicked his tongue stud against his teeth. He had agreed to putting his life in the hands of what must have been the most incompetent cop Kurt had ever laid eyes on. Though, agreed is quite a stretch. The scary Latino woman had slammed her hands down on the table and told him he'd accept the protection of Anderson, or none at all. 

Obviously, the treat the important witness with kid gloves phase was over. Fuck. He got taken in a least ten times over the years, yet, he'd  never been offered food by a police officer or kept in a non-metal chair. It was a nice change, at least while it lasted.

He strummed his fingers along the car door handle, pinky to thumb, thumb to pinky, pinky to thumb, thumb to-

“Can you stop?” At Blaine's intrusion into his stream of mental complaining, Kurt sent him a look that could pillage a village. “I'm sorry! This sucks, for both of us, but if we're going to live together, we need to be able to get along.” Blaine pulled up outside a discreet looking black building, obviously a back entrance. Kurt and Blaine exited the car, Blaine waking slightly in front of Kurt, guiding him to the entrance.

“Live together! Calm yourself down, house husband, we'll be nowhere near each other, this house is big enough for you to stay out of my way.” Blaine bristled at Kurt's unconcerned, well, asshole nature of speaking. 

“You know, a little gratitude would be nice.” Blaine stopped and looked at Kurt, gathering all of his quickly diminishing confidence.

“Gratitude? You deserve gratitude?”

“Yes! I do, I'm sacrificing my life and schedule to protect you. You, an ungrateful, rude, nobody, who couldnt even make it in the real world without selling yourself. What does mommy think about your little side job, Kurt?” Shit, Blaine had obviously struck a nerve. They were both staring angrily at each other, but at the mention of his family, Kurt had frozen. What would he do, Blaine feared. Hit him? Blaine was armed, it didnt matter if Kurt tried anything, or so he was trying to convince himself. 

His eyes showed a mixture of anger, pain, indecision, and just about anything else that made a white hot streak of guilt flash through Blaine. He had slipped out of professionalism and had no clue how Kurt would react.

Like usual, Kurt did the one thing that Blaine would never in a million years suspect him to. AN emotionless mask hardened over his face, once again, and he spun around, away from Blaine. Before Blaine could even process what was happening, Kurt was halfway to the street and only picking up speed. 

“Ku- what? What are you doing? Where are you going?” Blaine  was jogging just to catch up to him, but he wouldn't let up. 

Blaine really didnt want to touch Kurt right now, he was giving off don't you dare lay a finger on me vibes stronger than anyone he'd ever seen, but he had to. He grabbed Kurt's arm and whirled him around. Jesus, his eyes, flaring with rage, were even scarier than the hardened emotionless ones. 

“Blaine, stop. I would, and I mean this in the most under exaggerated way possible, rather be killed by Kenny Martin himself than spend one more moment with you.”

Blaine let his grip on Kurt loosen and release completely. 

“I cannot believe I said those things to you, I have an emotional attachment to you already and if you want to request another officer, I will completely understand.”

Kurt looked Blaine over for what must have been a minute before striding passed him, heeding for the door. Blaine scampered after him and he just could not help the grin that took over his featured. He was brought back to Earth when Kurt spun again, this time with the hard, cold eyes again.

“My mother is dead. If you ever mention her or my family again, I'll give Kenny a ring and let him kill us both. Slowly.”

Blaine felt like he was going to be sick. What would mommy think? He nodded shakily, unlocked the door and headed inside. 

“Um. It's late, I'm gonna go to bed. Your room is the first door in the right. Don't leave the building. Puck is going to be in the security room while I'm asleep, I'll introduce you in the morning. Er…goodnight.”

Kurt nodded again and Blaine hated this. Kurt's face was shifting from angry to vulnerable and sad and it was truly breaking his heart. Blaine had never been ruder to a person in his entire life. Not even those smug serial killers. Something about Kurt just pushed his buttons, he had yet to figure out if that was good or bad.

And he was oddly excited to find out.

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Blaine woke up to shrieking. Well, some may call it yelling, but it was so high-pitched and never-ending that Blaine just couldnt make out words. He sat up, begrudgingly, but still, pulled on sweatpants and stumbled out. He really wasnt in the mood to defuse whatever problem had occurred, but what could he do? Leave it be until the house burned down? 

“-know what you think you're doing, but this is harassment, you asshole.” Wonderful, Blaine thought. He recognized Kurt's voice, but as for who he was talking to- oh. Even better.

“Dude, I don't know why youre freaking out. I'm sorry.” Puck sounded terrified, Jesus, what did he do to make Kurt so angry? Blaine decided to hold his position outside of the kitchen door and wait for Kurt to erupt one more time before intervening. 

“Dude? Dude! Is it not enough that I have to be held in this hell house, but now I can't use my own kitchen without getting visually raped?” Oh god, the R word, Blaine rushed in. 

“Woah, woah! What's going on? Puck?” Puck's eyes shifted left and right, obviously unsure of what was going on also. 

“Blaine! I swear I didn't r-rape him. I was just getting some coffee and Kurt was in here too and he's wearing, well just look!” Blaine glanced at Kurt's attire and gulped. He wore a loose long sleeved night shirt and the tightest yoga pants known to man that looked…exceptional from the front. Blaine just could not imagine the view from the back.

“Oh I see. ‘He was asking for it, look at what he's wearing.' You entitled, perverted-”

“Kurt! Puck! What did you do?”

Puck stared down at his feet. “I was just…looking. Kurt turned around and freaked out and I'm sorry, ok! It's not like I was gonna do anything.” Puck looked as if he might burst into tears. It was hilarious, seeing the tough and manly agent Noah Puckerman being torn to shreds by Kurt.

“You- Puck. Are you telling me that Kurt, the ex-hooker, is angry at you, the straight man, for checking him out?”

“Yes, that's what he's telling you. I'm in my stand-in home, not the corner, I am not a piece of meat." Kurt sniffed and at that moment, Blaine burst into laughter.

“It's not funny!” 

“It is. It really…really is.” Blaine huffed out between laughing fits. 

“Kurt, meet Puck. It's the three of us for the next few weeks, so let's all just try to get along and not, what did you say, Kurt? Visually rape each other.”

“I will leave you animals to yourselves, you obviously cannot handle an intelligent presence for too long, so I'll only appear at infrequent intervals.” With that, Kurt stormed away, leaving Puck and Blaine in the kitchen just staring at each other.

“Puck?”

“Yeah?”

“How long have you been checking other guys out without telling me?”

“Shut up, Blaine! I didnt even register that he was a dude, it's eight in the morning.” Puck brewed and Blaine howled with laughter. Blaine could only see chaos in the near future and, strangely, he was okay with that.