Jan. 21, 2012, 11:20 a.m.
Dear Kurt: Chapter 8
T - Words: 1,048 - Last Updated: Jan 21, 2012 Story: Complete - Chapters: 10/10 - Created: Jan 12, 2012 - Updated: Jan 21, 2012 927 0 0 0 0
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Blaine moves forward to hug Kurt.
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'...'
'Blaine, ...say something.'
'You...'
'...'
'All this time you knew... you knew... you were him and you didn't bother telling me... why? I told you everything... Why didn't you tell me?'
'I couldn't...'
'What do you mean you couldn't tell me, you are real you could have made it all stop, they all think i'm a mental person with an imaginary friends who tells me to kill myself...'
'It's not that Blaine listen...'
'Oh i see, you're not really real, and Kurt doesn't look like you, i'm just imagining everything, its because of those stupid pills they have got me numbed up on. I know why this is happening right now, my you remind me of Kurt, your eyes, your nose and even your smile, but you aren't Kurt, you can't be Kurt, you can't be here, you can't be him.'
'But i am him, Blaine just listen..'
'It's these stupid pills they are making me take, they have fucked me up so bad, they are making me think stuff, you probably aren't even here... oh god i've really gone crazy haven't I? I guess everyone will be happy now.'
'Blaine, listen... I am Kurt, I am real...'
'No you can't be.'
'You were wearing a ripped purple t-shirt the day we met, you had a cut right above your right eyebrow, you had miss matched socks on, you looked adorable...'
'but how do you know...'
'Because i am Kurt, Blaine, i am real, you have to believe me.'
'No you can't be, this isn't real, stuff like this doesn't happen. After years of being told your "imaginary" friend isn't real, he just doesn't turn up at your door looking like an angel, that stuff just doesn't happen and especially to me. You can't be here...'
'But i am here Blaine...'
'You... Why didn't you tell me? 3 months. 3 MONTHS! i've been locked up here for 3 whole months, 3 months of them drugging me every single day, trying to make me forget him. You could have said, you could have stopped them, you should have told them... why didn't you tell them?'
'I couldn't..'
'YOU COULDN'T! IS THAT- WHY? YOU COULD HAVE...'
'Blaine, if i had told them, they wouldn't have let me see you anymore, i'm not suppose to personally know my patients, they wouldn't have let me complete my placement, i wouldn't have been able to complete my year... I'm sorry Blaine...'
'...'
'I rea-'
'Why now?'
'-i fi-'
'You could have just left me alone, It's not like i matter to anyone, No ones ever thought about me and then that day in the park, you helped me, my own aunt was standing 10 feet away smoking she didn't even care those guys were going to beat me up, but you... you saved me, twice, no same person has saved me more than once but you, you saved me twice, maybe even more... why do you care so much... i don't understand why you are doing this to me... and now you say you are real... you really are real. This isn't a trick?'
'Yes...'
'But you... i don't understand... you are my shrink...'
'I know this is going to be so hard for you, it's hard for me but you have to be strong...'
'I don't believe you. You can't be real...'
'I am real. Blaine i am in front of you. I've always been real.'
'Prove it. Prove it, show me that you are really real and i am not just imagining you.'
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27th April 1997
Dear Kurt,
Did last night really happen or have my pills being making me crazy?
This is actually crazy Kurt, They have been successful in making me crazy, so my shrink comes into my room and starts telling me that you are here and that you are real and then he tells me that he is you, i asked him to prove it, I think he kissed me.
It felt so good. I didn't know i could feel like that. I didn't know another person could make me feel so alive. That freaked me out so much. I think i just froze. I don't know if that was real or not but it sure as hell felt real. I couldn't move. This was not supposed to happen. This was not supposed to be real, you can't be in my life, we know what happens to people who enter my life, they die, i don't want you to die. He kept apologizing after he'd realized what had just happened. He was so scared. I wanted to tell him to not stop, to never stop but i couldn't, i couldn't move, i couldn't do anything. He'd probably realized what he'd done and he's probably repulsed by it, which explains him apologizing 22 times in 2 minutes. I couldn't do anything and he just let.
He walked out.
He just leaving me alone.
I hope that it was a dream.
I hope my shrink really isn't you.
I wish that you aren't real, not because i don't want you to be, i do, i really do, but if you are real and you enter my life, i can't lose you and i know that i will and it will hurt, hurt even more than it hurts now.
I hope that-
I know that i am wrong.
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The previous day
20:30pm
'Kurt, we are really sad to see you leave. It was an honor having you with us, it really was. I hope we can make these last few days you have here with us be an equally pleasant experience as the past 3 months have been.'
'Thank you, I am so grateful for this opportunity you gave me.'
'No, no, as i said it is an honor to have you work with us. Now you said you wanted to discuss a patient?'
'Yes... It's about my patient... Blaine Anderson.'
'Ah yes him, charming young man, when he doesn't talk about death eh? What did you want to ask?'
'It's just... He gets discharged this weekend and he has no place to go, his relatives won't take him back in since they aren't legally required to... is there anything we can do to keep him safe? We've worked so hard to get him back on track these past few weeks, i'd hate to see him back him here...'
'i'll see what i can do Kurt.'
'Thank you.'