Dear Blaine,

I can't believe I'm doing this, but I know that if I didn't, I'd always regret it.

You said some things, a lot of things, intense things, before you went to sleep last night. As of right now, you don't remember. Maybe it's better that way.

If you do end up remembering though, please know that you can always talk to me if you need to. I meant it when I said I was happy to just be your friend.

You must also know though, if you do remember, that when it comes to everything you said last night, absolutely everything... I feel the same.

I'm there for you if you want me, for whatever you might need. You know where I live.

Kurt

Kurt thought that, surely, he must look like a robot, the way he was moving. He certainly felt that way. Each step, every movement, felt labored and way too deliberate. He was focusing way too much on the incidentals.

Five more steps to the door.

First turn the lock to the right partway, jiggle it, then finish turning all the way.

Twenty steps to the elevator. Wow, only twenty steps? I figured it'd be more.

Take the left elevator, not the one on the right. That one never seems to get cleaned for some reason.

Crap, we're getting stopped at every fucking floor!

Oh, look at that. 5B is moving out I guess. Wonder where they're moving to?

Seriously? It was all he could do. He was kind of in shock. There Blaine had been, completely out of the blue, standing in front of his building. Sure, he had written that note, but he'd honestly not expected to get results from it so quickly.

The last words they had spoken were:

"Can we talk?"

and

"Sure."

They had turned silently and nervously toward the building, too preoccupied with their own thoughts to attempt casual conversation. Blaine had yet to let go of his hand, and he had absolutely idea what to make of it.

What was Blaine thinking? Did he remember what he'd said and immediately regretted it? Had he come to let Kurt down gently? To let him know that what he'd said had only been drunken ramblings?

His hold on Kurt's hand was just gentle enough to make that believable. He was being gentle because he was nice enough to let him down easily.

What if he didn't remember at all, but his curiosity was piqued by the note, and hoped that Kurt will fill him in. How would he respond when he heard the truth? What if Kurt told him the truth, and he didn't believe it?

His touch was hesitant. This explanation would make sense. He was uncertain about what he would find out.

What if... what if he remembered and didn't regret it? What if he was coming to say that he was glad Kurt felt the same way?

There was the tiniest bit of desperation behind Blaine's grip, as if he was trying to convey his feelings through their touch. Could that be why?

Oh sweet lord! My hand is so sweaty! He must have noticed! If I pull it away to wipe it though, I'm only gonna draw attention to it. This has to be the most awkward and suspenseful five minutes in the history of my life!

Kurt turned and attempted to shoot Blaine a reassuring smile. It ended up looking more like a disturbed leer though.

Fuck. Well, if things weren't awkward before...

*ding*

Oh, shit. Here we are.

His stomach did a sick little flip-flop as he took the lead, suddenly gripping Blaine's hand tightly, realizing that this might very well be the last time he got to hold it.

Wow, he looks like he's gonna be sick.

Blaine glanced over sympathetically, and with more than a little surprise, as Kurt fumbled with his keys in the front lock.

This nervous, almost mechanical, Kurt was so very different from the Kurt he had met at the bar, and from the Kurt he had gone home with and woken up to. That Kurt was so calm and self-assured. This Kurt was obviously freaking the fuck out.

The thing was, Blaine wasn't exactly sure why.

Oh well, he'd know soon enough. Right now he needed to focus on not freaking out himself. Especially about the fact that he had no fucking idea what he was going to say once they were upstairs. He honestly didn't even know what he what doing here. He'd left the coffee shop in a daze, leaving his beverage untouched on the table and clutching the small blue note in his hand. Before he knew it, he'd been standing in front of Kurt's building. It was like his feet had taken him there of their own volition.

Blaine moved along side of Kurt, feeling like a jumpy bundle of nerves and letting his mind race in an attempt to distract himself. They stepped in front of the elevator on the left.

Oh, good. We're not taking the one that smells like wet dog hair.

Geez! Did someone push the buttons for every freaking floor?

Oh, someone's moving out? Maybe I could move in here, then I'd be close to Kurt? Crap on a stick! Did I really just think that?!

He sent a brief, sideways glance in Kurt's direction, trying to figure out, yet again, what in the hell was going on in the other man's mind.

Kurt was standing there like a deer in the head lights, watching the lights blink as they changed floors as if his life depended on it.

Was Kurt regretting writing that note? Had he decided that he didn't really mean it?

He was letting Blaine hold his hand, but wasn't making much of an effort to grip it back. Maybe that was his way of trying to let him down gently.

What if he was scared that Blaine hadn't meant what he'd said? Maybe Kurt was scared of holding on to his hand, thinking he might soon be rejected.

Blaine closed his eyes, letting his mind drift back to the previous night, to a sentence he'd spoken, yet only just remembered in the coffee shop ...

"You know you're that person, right? You're the person who is making me question everything. I could so totally fall in love with you."

... Kurt's note had almost acted as a trigger. The words that were currently being crinkled in his free hand flashed clearly in his mind:

You must also know though, if you do remember, that when it comes to everything you said last night, absolutely everything... I feel the same.

The moment he had read those words he had remembered. Remembered everything in full.

Remembered, and regretted nothing.

He still had absolutely no idea what the hell he was doing, but he'd worry about that in like, oh, thirty more seconds.

He tried to squeeze Kurt's hand in reassurance, but realized how damp his palm was when he couldn't get a good grip. Kurt seemed to notice the slight change in pressure though, or at least how desperately Blaine was trying to convey something, and turned to shoot him a little smile.

Well, an attempt at a smile. Blaine couldn't help thinking that it ended up as more of an unsettled grimace instead. He probably would have laughed, had he not felt sure he was close to vomiting from his own nerves.

Shit! I'm so nervous! I'm freaking sweating through my clothes! I'm like the fucking Niagra Falls! Fuck! I wish I could at least wipe my hand. He'd really notice then though.

*ding*

Ooooh, holy hell. We're here.

His eyes widened as Kurt gripped his hand tightly, sweatiness and all, and yanked him down the hall.

Um, wow. Well, hello there determined Kurt. Nice to see you again. Please don't ever let go of my hand...

They gave up all pretense of being calm by then, and practically raced towards Kurt's door, unable to stand the suspense for much longer. Kurt fumbled with the lock once again, cursing under his breath when the key would simply not go in.

Just when Blaine was ready to grab it from his hand and try himself, it clicked into place and the door swung open. Kurt silently held his hand out to usher Blaine in ahead of him, and before they knew it, they were standing there, face-to-face, alone... and not saying a word.

They both just stared, waiting for the other to make the first move.

Blaine silently cursed himself for not at least taking time in the elevator to come up with a decent opening line. Instead he'd focused on the lack of wet dog smell and how much he was sweating.

He was just looking to the side, trying to piece together something semi 'not stupid' sounding, when Kurt finally lost it.

"For the love of god, please say something! I took the risk, writing you that note. It's your turn to be brave."

"Yes! Yes, I'm sorry," Blaine sputtered, feeling more flustered than he ever had. "You're right, just give me a second."

Kurt looked at him carefully, before offering a simple nod.

Blaine sighed and ran his fingers through his hair distractedly, before starting to pace.

"Last night was amazing, Kurt. Like, the most amazing night of my life, and I was so freaking drunk. I can't imagine how spectacular it would have been if I'd actually been able to remember it all."

Kurt relaxed slightly and smiled at this as he watched Blaine continue to pace.

"I thought about you all day, Kurt. I couldn't get you out of my head. As the day went on, more and more bits of last night came back to me. The things I felt. The things I said."

He stopped mid-step, and looked straight at Kurt. He steadied himself before stepping forward and taking Kurt's hand again, feeling thankful that he'd had time to wipe the nastiness off on his jeans this time.

"I, ridiculously, asked you about marriage."

Kurt looked down with a little laugh.

"Yup."

"I told you that sometimes you meet someone who can make you question everything about who you are, someone who can change everything."

Blaine took a step closer, speaking softly. Kurt's smile faded away.

"Yup."

"I told you that you were that person."

"Yup."

"I told you that I could easily fall in love with you."

"Yup."

This time it was barely whispered, and Blaine was so, so close.

"You wrote me a note."

"Yup."

"You told me you felt the same way."

This time Kurt didn't speak. He just nodded. Blaine was actually gripping his waist now. They both shivered as they felt each other breathe.

"So, do you? Really? Do you feel like you could fall in love with me?"

...

"Yup."

Blaine nodded. He tried to respond with something intelligent, but nothing came. All he could focus on was the fact that Kurt had said he could possibly fall in love with him, and that those soft lips were right there. So close he could almost taste them.

"Shit," he gasped, and decided it was time to stop thinking. He yanked Kurt into him, meeting their lips before he could change his mind. He knew that once he started he would be beyond thinking, and that was there he wanted to be.

Kurt didn't even have time to register Blaine's little exclamation before he was being pulled into the kiss. He gasped at almost the same moment, breathing out as Blaine breathed in, and gave soft little moan at the connection.

"Oh my god," Blaine sighed into Kurt's mouth, stepping forward to press him back up against the door. He leaned in, forcefully crashing their lips together again. Kurt grabbed either side of his face, holding him there, kissing him back desperately.

"Is this really what you want?" Kurt whispered between kisses. "Do you really want to be with me? Because you need to know right now that I am not interested in just another one night stand."

"I know," Blaine murmured, leaving Kurt's lips and mouthing his way down the model's cheek and neck. "I don't want that either. I need to be honest though, Kurt." He pulled back just a bit, but still pressed kiss after kiss on Kurt's lips as he spoke. "I don't... I don't know for sure who I am right now. I don't understand everything that's going on, or why. I don't have things even close to figured out."

Kurt pushed him back for just a moment, looking at him carefully.

"I'm going to say this again. You need to be sure. Because while I am willing to just be your friend, I just can't do that after a certain point. I don't even know for sure if I could do it aft-mmmmph..."

Kurt let out a breathless laugh as Blaine stopped him from talking by rolling his eyes and smashing their lips together once again.

Blaine took a moment, parting Kurt's lips just slightly to brush the tips of their tongues together. His head spun and a light feeling filled his chest as he melted into the kiss. It really was nothing like he'd expected.

The last time he'd kissed Kurt, he'd been incredibly drunk. He had known without a shadow of a doubt that he'd enjoyed it, but he wondered if there were any unsettled feelings that had been pushed aside by the alcohol. He was, quite honestly, waiting for those feelings to arrive now. The feelings that told him it was weird, kissing a boy. The feelings that told him he was barking up the wrong tree, that this wasn't for him. He was prepared to deal with those feelings, and to figure them out. He had thought they would be inevitable. This was so far from anything he thought he'd be doing one day.

Those feelings, however, didn't come. The feelings that did come, were of contentment, and of belonging, and of being so fulfilled and happy he could hardly stand it. The feelings were so strong that they scared him a bit, but they were too good to push aside. Too good to ignore. He'd deal with the scariness later.

"I would never ask that of you," Blaine placed one last kiss on Kurt's lips, before pulling him into his arms and just holding him close. "I'm pretty sure that would make me the biggest jackass in the world. The fact that you were willing to be there for me though, while I figure all of this out, even if it meant you couldn't be with me... that made me realize more than anything how much I do just want to be with you. Fuck, Kurt! You're so god damn amazing, and selfless, and just the most wonderful person I've ever met! The thought of leaving this apartment today, knowing that I don't ever get to be with you... please don't make me do that. I would kind of feel like you stabbed me in the heart."

Kurt laughed again, this time accompanied by the tiniest little sob. He couldn't help the tears burning at his eyes because of Blaine's words. Never in his life had someone spoken of him that way romantically. Never. He felt like he was floating.

"I won't. I wouldn't... and just, don't worry about having everything figured out perfectly. You'll... We'll figure it out, together, as we go."

"So, what... what are we?" Blaine asked quietly. He loosened his hold a bit, bravado gone, suddenly feeing incredibly uncertain. For the life of him, he had no idea what he hoped Kurt would say. Kurt smiled, pulling Blaine into him and squeezing him tight.

"What are you doing for the next couple of days?"

"What?" Blaine laughed. "That feels a little random."

"It's not," Kurt said resolutely as he ran his hands up and down Blaine's back. "Everything I do in life is planned and intentional. You just need to trust me."

Blaine breathed out, becoming instantly pliant in Kurt's arms as he felt the hands stroking his back soothingly. He felt like he was being automatically transported back to the previous night, when Kurt had rubbed light circles onto his back while they snuggled in bed. Snuggled in bed naked. After amazing sex.

Damn, he was hard already!

He shifted slightly, hoping to avoid Kurt noticing quite yet, and rested his head on the taller man's shoulder.

"Believe me. I trust you more than I've probably trusted anybody before, and I'm not busy at all. Today's free and Sunday is totally open."

He could feel Kurt smiling against his neck.

"Good. I don't have to work tomorrow either, so we have a day and half free together. This is what I think we should do." He pushed Blaine back and completely surprised him by shoving him against the opposite wall next to the door, then pressing up against him and kissing down his neck.

"I think we should spend the next two days together. Doing nothing except just be together." He put a hand on Blaine's chest, trailing it down until he reached his waist and circling lightly. Blaine moaned, tipping his head back so that Kurt had room to keep kissing him to his heart's content. Kurt's hand remained steadily on his waist though. He struggled to not scream in frustration for Kurt to please, for the love of god, just move his hand down a couple of fucking inches.

"We'll talk..."

Kiss, hand moving down an inch.

"And fuck..."

Kiss, hand moving down an inch more. Blaine came very close to whimpering.

"And talk..."

Kiss, hand moving all the way down. Screw that, he was totally whimpering.

"And fuck some more."

He latched onto Blaine's neck roughly, yanking down the zipper of his jeans and reaching in.

"Ohmygod, Kurt." Blaine didn't even recognize his own voice. He sounded completely wrecked. Kurt had barely even touched him.

Holy hell, what am I in for?

"By Sunday night, we'll have 'the talk'," Kurt emphasized the last two words, giving a wicked little grin as he massaged Blaine actively over his boxers and watched him melt back against the wall. "We'll know by then, hopefully, where we stand and how we want to proceed."

"Okay," Blaine responded weakly. "Yup, that's, I can... okay."

Kurt grinned again, and was just leaning in for a kiss, when he stopped and groaned.

"Fuck!"

Blaine's eyes popped open, noticing the sudden lack of a hand rubbing his cock and no lips kissing him.

"That didn't sound like the good kind of fuck."

"No," Kurt laughed, but looked more than a little aggravated. "I just remembered that I promised Mrs. Moscowitz I'd help her with some stuff around her apartment. I have to go do that first. It's getting harder and harder for her to do things on her own, and her own kids never visit or help."

"You're such a damn boyscout," Blaine smiled, kissing him gently on the mouth. "I think you're wonderful."

"Mmmm, well, you'll think I'm even more wonderful when I come back here and give you the good kind of fuck."

Blaine choked a bit. On what, he had no idea, and took a ragged breath.

"Promise?"

"Promise."