Aug. 27, 2012, 5:27 a.m.
A Fresh Start
A Fresh Start: Chapter 16
E - Words: 1,770 - Last Updated: Aug 27, 2012 Story: Complete - Chapters: 36/36 - Created: Aug 25, 2012 - Updated: Aug 27, 2012 1,448 0 0 0 0
The glass from the picture frame shattered against the wall. Alex stood there, breathing heavily in anger, before going to retrieve the item he had just thrown. He pulled the snapshot out of the slivers of glass and gripped it in his hands tightly. Himself, Blaine and, a then two-year-old, Addy at some picnic his company had thrown a year ago. Blaine was smiling happily with Addy snuggled tightly in his arms, while Alex was sitting just apart from them with a smile that only looked genuine if you didn't study it too closely. If Alex had been in his right mind he would have been able to look at the picture objectively and see the distance in is own eyes. If he had been in his right mind he would have been able to think clearly about all that had happened in the last month, and realize that maybe Blaine had a point in leaving him, in taking Addy away. He wasn't in his right mind though.
It had started that very first night after Blaine had left with Addy, when he had come home to discover that he was alone. The pain had been unbearable. In that moment he had known that he deserved to lose them.
He was a worthless piece of shit. He had spent the last three years barely acknowledging the existence of his own daughter. To top it off, he had cheated on his husband and gone on to try and hit him. Blaine was gone. Addy was gone. They were never coming back.
He started by drinking every beer in the house. There were only five, hardly a dent in the pain. He moved on to vodka. Slightly better. Feeling the drunken haze settle in, he sat back onto the couch to enjoy the numbness. Through the fog of alcohol a distant beeping attacked his senses. He fumbled blindly for a moment, not able to figure out how to stop the annoying noise. Finally his hand stumbled across his phone. That's what it was. A text.
To Alex: Since the old ball and chain is finally gone, why don't I just come over to your place. We can finally do whatever, wherever, whenever - Travis
Alex turned off his phone. Gone was the high and in settled new levels of despair. It made him panic. He quickly dove off of the couch and tore into the bathroom, digging through the cabinet to find what he was looking for. It had to still be in here. Blaine was always cautious as a nurse, but forgetful as a person. His husband had fully intended to dispose of the Vicodin properly but never got around to it. Finally claiming his treasure he dumped several in his hand and swallowed them dry. Falling down on their bed he started to cry while waiting for the inevitable numbing happiness to settle in.
A month later he had barely gone an hour sober. There was no possible way he could go longer than that. The moment he could feel was the moment the guilt set in. He couldn't handle the guilt. Sure, he had always been an ass. He was well aware of this, and always meant to change. One day. But now... now he had twice tried to attack his spouse, the man he loved, or had once loved at the very least. He had also lost the chance to try and be a good father. He had meant to get close to Addy, really. Babies were messy though and toddlers were overwhelming. He was going to wait until she got older, when it was easier. Now that chance was gone and it was his own damn fault. At least that was what he knew when he was sober... which is why he never was anymore. When he was drunkenly numb or high on narcotics he was able to forget all of that and blame someone else for his situation. Blaine. At one point he had come up with a pathetically muddled explanation as to why Blaine was completely at fault. He couldn't remember what that reason was anymore though. It didn't matter. Blaine was wrong. His husband had taken everything from him... and he would pay.
Receiving the divorce papers and the restraining order Blaine had filed was the last straw. Something inside Alex snapped. He stopped going to work. He barely ate. He even stopped getting together with Travis and the other two men he had on the side. He had one sole focus now. He would do anything and everything to make his husband pay. The restraining order would make things difficult, but definitely not impossible... he just needed to be careful. For the moment he would play along. He obeyed the constraints of the retraining order, well, he at least bothered to hide himself when he didn't. He responded to the divorce papers by hiring his own lawyer and even going so far as to tell Blaine, through their lawyers, that he would not fight for custody. He wanted Blaine to be comfortable. To feel that all was going well. To forget about the possible danger. That's when he would strike.
The private investigator he hired had done well. Alex had all of the addresses he thought were relevant. First was Blaine's apartment, though Alex quickly realized that his husband was not currently staying there. He went there sometimes to see if Blaine's car was there. Instead he just found the old super. That was the man who had called the police back on the first night he had really lost it. That man was definitely on Alex's list.
Next was Addy's daycare. He would steer clear of the place when Blaine dropped her off and picked her up. The house was in a cul-de-sac and there was nowhere for him to park without the possibility of Blaine seeing him. He would wait until mid-morning when he knew that Addy would be playing outside with the other kids. He wasn't watching her because he loved or wanted her. That ship had sailed. He was watching her because he knew she could be a valuable asset in getting back at Blaine and thought it would help to know her routine. He couldn't stay there for long though. Partly because the older man who lived there, the one always wearing a baseball cap, seemed to be ever watchful when the kids were outside. Partly because, after looking at the pigtailed little girl for too long, an ache would start to tug at his heart. He couldn't afford that.
Third on his list was Lima Memorial. This was the place where he could get away with the most. There were all kinds of places for him to hide out and plenty of opportunities to go incognito. He didn't go all out with disguises. It wasn't like he was nuts or anything. Just a baseball cap, maybe some sunglasses and definitely cheap clothes. Blaine would never recognize him in cheap clothes. He had even gone shopping at Old Navy.
The hospital was the place that provided him with the most satisfaction from watching Blaine unawares. It was also the place that caused him the most rage. Every day that his husband worked he arrived with another man. At first Alex thought that it was merely a carpool situation, but he quickly realized that it was more than that. He would watch them talk and see the loving looks they gave each other, one man absolutely hanging onto the other man's words. It was sickening. He would watch them touch and his skin would crawl. They were small touches. A light squeeze of fingers. A quick hug. A hand briefly rubbing a back in a soothing manner. Every once in a while, a kiss on a cheek when they thought that none were watching. Someone was watching though, and that someone was getting angrier every day.
The final place was his most recent discovery. He had been curious where Blaine and Addy went at night when he discovered that they were no longer staying at the apartment. This one he discovered on his own. One day after Blaine picked Addy up from daycare he was waiting on the main road, watching for Blaine's car. He pulled out after them, careful to stay a few cars behind. Blaine had pulled into the driveway of a small house where an SUV was parked. The vehicle looked way too familiar. He had watched as Blaine and Addy got out of the car... but they weren't alone. The same man that his husband rode to work with everyday got out of the passenger's seat and small boy climbed out behind Addy. The two men strolled up the front walk, wrapping their arms around each others' waists briefly, pulling away when the kids demanded their attention. Alex saw red.
It was a Tuesday evening. Alex was trying out a new hiding spot. He'd figured out on the night that he found where Blaine was staying, that someone besides him was watching the house. (A van with tinted windows? Really? Could they be anymore obvious?) At least HE knew how to be inconspicuous. He had taken to renting different cars every day so that he wouldn't be recognized. He couldn't be sure if it was the actual police or an outside hire but he wasn't taking any chances. He was parked down a side street from Kurt's house. It was pretty far away but if he leaned just right he could make out the front yard. The make-shift family had yet to arrive home for the night and Alex was waiting. He was getting closer and closer to making his move. He just needed to bide his time until everything fell into place.
While he was waiting, he pulled the small bag from his front shirt pocket. The Vicodin had recently stopped having the desired affect and he had moved on to something stronger. A man from his office, some accountant, had hooked him up. He pulled out a small piece of the crystal, pounded it into powder with the end his pocket-knife on the front dash and quickly did a line. He knew in the back of his mind that it was dangerous to do this where he could clearly be seen, but it didn't matter. The only thing that mattered was that he needed a fix and he needed it now. As the high set in, he happily started to plot once again. He plotted and he watched.
What he didn't know was that, from a nondescript car parked a few houses back, he was being watched too.