Nov. 17, 2012, 6:45 a.m.
Faded memories.: Chapter 9.
E - Words: 1,539 - Last Updated: Nov 17, 2012 Story: Closed - Chapters: 17/? - Created: Jul 07, 2012 - Updated: Nov 17, 2012 719 0 2 0 0
"Anddd, then I moved to Dalton. We drew at sectionals; I had auditioned but didn't get it. At Christmas...er, we sang Baby it's cold outside, then you went to Paris for Christmas?" Kurt asked. He was trying to recite his life to Blaine, just as the doctor had suggested.
"Yes, Kurt! That's 2010 pretty much done. 2011?" Blaine exclaimed, bursting with pride.
"Er, we went back to Dalton and started warbler rehearsals. At Valentine's day, you sang to Jeremiah?" Blaine nodded in agreement, blushing slightly in shame. "Then everything is kind of blank...the next thing I remember after that is moving back to New Directions, we lost Nationals, then summer break, you came on our summer holiday? Then senior year started. And you...you joined Mckinley?! Then you got into the play... WEST SIDE STORY? How the hell did I forget that? You stared...as Tony? Then I lost the debate. Then, we sang to the homeless and you stopped me in the corridor and oh my god..." Kurt's eye's started misting over.
Blaine couldn't help grinning and his eyes misted over too. He stood up from where they were lying in the bed, he reached into a drawer and pulled out the promise ring. Kurt took it gently from his hand, careful not to break it. He slid it on his finger. "It still fits." Blaine whispered, overcome with joy and love. "Sorry, continue."
"Err, that's all I remember from 2011. 2012, we came back and it was pretty normal. Oh, we had the whole Sebastian slushy thingy? Then Karofsky ... something happened to him? Quinn had a car crash? Er, FINN AND RACHEL WERE ENGAGED?! WHAT THE HELL?! Sorry...Then your brother, ohmygod your brother is COOPER ANDERSON! Oh yeah, you had a fight and made up. We uh, something happened to us a while after that and then we made the promises. Then I didn't get into NYADA. We won at nationals, we graduated, we had summer break and I decided I was going to wait a year for you. You started back and oh god... uh... Blaine... I'm so sorry... I can't, I can't remember anything else..." He fought back the tears appearing at his eyes.
"Hey, shh. It's okay. You're doing so well. I'm so proud of you Kurt. You're amazing, okay?" Blaine gently pulled Kurt from leaning against him into a tight hug. He felt tears fall on his shoulder and pulled out of the embrace so he could wipe them away. Kurt smiled slightly as he felt Blaine's guitar calloused thumb slowly sweep over his soft cheek to wipe away his tears. "It's going to be okay Kurt, do you want to carry on?"
Kurt nodded and continued trying to recite their lives so far. Blaine couldn't help but notice though, he hadn't remembered three things.
Their first kiss,
Their first time,
Their first holiday alone together.
-
Kurt might not be able to remember things to their full at the moment but he wasn't dumb. Ever since they had gone over everything last night, Blaine had been off. It was midday now and Blaine had gone back to university for the first time since he had found Kurt again, there was only two weeks left, but Blaine wanted to catch up on last months work. Kurt had been told he had to be under 100% supervision for the first month, but he was free to spend time alone now, and whilst thankful for the extra breathing space, he missed Blaine.
Maybe that was why Blaine had been acting off in the morning. Maybe he was just going to miss Kurt too. Or was it something else? Kurt couldn't think of anything he'd done wrong. Blaine had just seemed... disappointed in him this morning. He shook the feeling off and went to go and make lunch.
But the thought plagued his brain persistently all day, constantly, whatever he did, nothing could get Blaine's disappointed look out of his mind. He remembered one thing, and it was the way Blaine looked at him, it never changed. He would always have that certain look in his eyes, like lust but with a gentle edge, like with every look he was telepathically saying that he would do anything he possibly could, even give his life for him, just to keep him safe. It always had the same effect on Kurt, it made him feel so overwhelmed with love that it was almost scary.
That morning though, that look had been altered slightly. Kurt could remember the look Blaine had given him from another thing that had happened in the past. He knew it was something to do with the event that they made the list from. He just remembered being around Blaine's house, and the only memory he could form was of Blaine's face giving him that look of betrayal. It was the same face he had seen when he lied as well. That was what convinced him he had screwed something up.
Blaine arrived home around four o'clock and had the same look on his face. "Hey, Kurt!" He said, faking a smile over the sadness completely present in his deep brown eyes.
"Blaine, sit." Kurt ordered.
"O-Okay... What's up, love?"
"Spill it. What's wrong?" Kurt said firmly, but taking Blaine's hands as he did so, so that the statement didn't lack compassion or sound too harsh.
"Nothing, it's nothing, I'm being silly. Don't worry." He tried to stand up, but Kurt pulled him back down.
"Blaine. I know you well enough to know that it's something. It's something about last night and something that I've done, I can see it in your eyes."
"It's nothing. I'm just-" It would've been so easy to lie right there. It would've been so much easier for him to just say that it was because he was worried for Kurt. But he had made a promise. "I was upset over a few things you can't remember, but they'll come back. Please, please don't hate me. I just, I completely understand that this is going to take a while, but there were three things last night that you missed and their just kind of eating away at me. I'm so so so so sorry, Kurt please. Don't go..." But it was too late because Kurt had stood up and had his hand on the doorknob.
"I'm going for a walk. I just, I need to think for a bit. I love you, but I need some space."
I really thought you were the one who would understand just how hard it is for me to remember.
Kurt refused to let the tears that were threatening at his eyes fall until he had left the apartment. Blaine was the one person he thought understood, the one person who was willing to be patient, the one person who loved him too much to let their situation get the better of him. But clearly not. Blaine was annoyed at him for something he couldn't even control.
-
Blaine groaned as he threw his head back against the sofa. That hadn't sounded that bad in his head. It had sounded a little off, sure, but not so bad. He knew how touchy Kurt was on the subject, he knew how god damned awful he felt about the fact he couldn't remember anything, and he had completely abused that. He wanted nothing more that to run out of the door after Kurt and apologise with ever last living breath in him, but he knew Kurt would need his space.
He didn't know what to do at all, he just wanted to make this right. Just last night Kurt was crying in his arms over the fact that he was struggling to remember and he was telling him that he was upset with him over not remembering enough. He felt so guilty over it. He had no idea what to do now to make this right again.
Nothing seemed enough though, and three hours later he still had no idea what to do to make this okay. But that wasn't what he was worried about. Kurt still hadn't come home. It was getting late now. It was summer so it wasn't particularly dark out, but he was still worried about him. Kurt would never stay out for this long after a fight. He texted Finn and was relieved and disappointed to find out about that Finn hadn't seen him. It meant that Kurt still wanted to live with him, but that also meant that Kurt was out alone somewhere.
He decided to get over his stupid pride and phoned Kurt to make sure he was okay. Kurt didn't answer though, but he must've taken that as a worrying sign because 15 minutes later he was knocking on the door. He had red around his eyes and it was clear he had been crying. Blaine didn't say anything on the matter and let him in.
Blaine was at least expecting a hello, but Kurt just walked into the bedroom and shut the door. Blaine heard a choked sob and guilt racked through his bones. He was grateful that Kurt had come home, but he despised the fact that he had made Kurt this upset. He felt tears fall down his own face in guilt as he sat on the sofa and began brainstorming things to make this okay.
Comments
Awwwh I love love loved this chapter! So sad and I feel really bad for Kurt. I understand Blaine's upset by the fact Kurt can't remember those things, but I feel so bad for Kurt cause he's really trying. I love this story <3333
thank god! I THOUGHT U ABANDONED THIS! LOVE LOVE LOVE!