Blaine should have known this was a horrible idea. Going places with Kurt dressed to impress never worked the way he anticipated. Blaine would see Kurt being all sexy and forget until they got to their destination that he really should convince Kurt to wear a coat. His husband loved coats and had dozens so there was absolutely no reason for him to cause guys to trip over their own feet because of his skin tight clothes and exposed abdomen and hips.

Blaine normally like Paradise. They had decent music for dancing and he'd even preformed on the stage a few weeks ago. The back room was significantly less sketchy than the back rooms of most gay clubs and the drinks were reasonably priced. Not that he would be drinking.

Kurt would get all giggly and flirty with the guys who talked to him and Blaine needed to keep an eye on the situation. It was worse than ever now that Cooper was here. Youd think none of these idiots had ever seen anyone in a movie before. Cooper had been in a Transformers movie, not something deep and meaningful. And they lived in LA for fucks sake. Blaine had run into Chris Hemsworth once at the gym and seen Nathan Fillion at the grocery store. At least, he was pretty sure it was Nathan Fillion. He followed the guy around the store enough to be as sure as he could without acting like a crazy fan and trying to talk to him. Blaine decided then and there that the next movie Kurt was in was going to be something about NASA so he could wear an astronaut suit and no one would be staring at his ass.

"Wow," Cooper said, "I think theres two guys having..." his voice dropped to a whisper, "...sex...over there against the wall."

Kurt glanced over. "Huh. They should go in the back room."

"What back room?" Cooper asked, his eyes wide.

Now it was finally time for Blaine to have some fun. "The back room where everyone goes to hook up. They do it in the bathroom, too."

But instead of the horrified look hed anticipated, Coopers expression turned thoughtful.

"You mean that guys come here, *come here,* and go? No strings, no talking, just a quickie and thats that?"

"How often do you want to have sex?" Kurt asked. He held up his hand when Cooper opened his mouth. "Its a rhetorical question, I dont want to know. What I mean is, gay guys are all guys. They all want to have sex as often as straight guys do. You put a bunch of drunk horney gay guys in a room with a bunch of other drunk horney gay guys and what do you think is going to happen? Sex."

"So if I wanted to get a blow job?"

Blaine threw up a little in his mouth.

"Tell people you're here to support your gay brother and his husband, but youve always been kind of curious. Youll have better luck if your straight, but open-minded. And use a condom. Several if you get really lucky.” He shoved a handful of foil packets at Cooper.

"Kurt," Blaine hissed.

"What?" he asked. "Its the gay fantasy of getting someone to switch teams. Theres only eighty billion pornos with that as the plot."

"You suck as a wingman, B. Youre supposed to help me get laid."

"You dont like dick," Blaine said through gritted teeth. He could not believe he was having this conversation with his brother.

Cooper shrugged. "I like my dick. I bet I could figure out what to do with someone elses."

Kurt placed a hand on Blaines arm. "Give me ten minutes. Have a drink and relax. Ill get Cooper situated and Ill be right back." He didnt wait for an answer before dragging Cooper off to the middle of the dance floor.

Blaine hated seeing Kurt and Cooper dancing. He knew it was all part of Kurts plan, but still. And why was he trying to help Cooper get laid anyway? Cooper liked girls and hed never had trouble getting them. Why guys and why now?

Its probably some method acting bullshit he learned in a "master class," he thought. Blaine groaned. That would make perfect sense in Coopers little world. If youre going to be a cop, follow an actual police officer around. Gonna be a race car driver, hang out at Nascar. Playing a gay guy? Hook up at a gay club.

Blaine sulked at the bar, nursing a coke, watching his brother's hands all over the love of his life. It wasnt long before they were approached and Cooper started chatting up the boy. Ugh, Blaine hoped the guy was legal. He remembered how easy it had been to get a fake ID in high school. 

A tall guy squeezed into the space next to Blaine. ”Hey handsome. I havent seen you around here before." They mans smile was warm and friendly. "Wait," he said suddenly. "I have seen you here before. Youre Blaine Anderson. The singer. You did a set here a few weeks ago."

"I am," Blaine said, glad that he could talk about something other than Cooper for a moment. 

"Youre fantastic. Seriously. Are you playing any time soon? Id love to see you again."

Blaine swallowed. That could be a totally innocent statement or really suggestive. Hed given up a long time ago on figuring out if people were flirting with him. Hed thought he and Jeremiah were dating in high school and he hadnt paid enough attention to realize Sebastian had been hitting on him in his own messed up way. Kurt could always tell if someone was interested in Blaine and would politely extract him. Except Kurt was off helping Cooper do god knows what with god knows who. 

"My next gig is in San Francisco in a month," Blaine said. "And Ive been trying to set something up at Tias. For a coffee shop, they have a rockin stage."

"Ooooh, I love Tias. Their cheesecake is to die for. Do you have a website or something? A fan list I can sign up for?"

"Uh, not really." 

"Bummer. Well, Im Scott and I do web design. Id be willing to cut you a huge discount if you want to set something up." 

Scott held out a business card, which Blaine reluctantly took with his left hand, trying to show off the wedding ring while he did it. Was this guy asking for his number? And who takes business cards to a club anyway?

"Hi, Blaine, whos this?" Kurt magically appeared beside Blaine and threaded his arm through his husbands. 

"This is Scott, beautiful. Hes interested in helping me do a web page to promote my singing."

"Ill just bet he is," Kurt muttered so low that Blaine wasnt sure hed heard correctly. Much louder he said, "It was nice to meet you but I want to dance with my husband."

Scott mouthed, "Call me," as they left. 

Kurt pulled Blaine out to the dance floor, gracefully turned, and started grinding his ass against Blaines crotch. Blaine grabbed Kurts hips, settling his hands just above the hickies. Every time Blaine caught someone's gaze lingering on Kurt, hed pull him closer and nuzzle his neck. 

They stayed lost in the music, dancing to the beat, warm skin under Blaines spread fingers. Kurts erection dug into his hip and Blaine wanted to find someplace more secluded that wasnt the back room of a club where they might run into Cooper. Blaine glance up to see a guys eyes glued to Kurts ass. Growling like a caveman was unbecoming, but he couldnt help it. 

"Time to go," Kurt announced. "Youre still pissed at Cooper and my hair is starting to fall." 

Kurt had never understood that as smoking hot as he was with his hair perfect, he was a million times sexier when it was messy. Especially when it was messy from sex. 

Blaine was about to suggest going home so they could fuck each others brains out, when Cooper slid up and put his arm around Kurt, his hand landing on Kurts stomach. "This place is fucking awesome!" He laid his head on Kurts shoulder. "I love gays. I should be gay. They get all the sex. Youre cuddly." Coopers voice had that distinctive slurry quality and Blaine wondered how much he'd had to drink since Kurt had thrown him to the wolves. 

"Cooper," Blaine said, the warning in his voice would have been obvious to his brother if he werent so waisted.

"What?" he whined. "Why didnt you tell me gay guys hook up in bathrooms?"

"Gee, Coop, it never came up in conversation.” Blaine crossed his arms over his chest and glared at his brother.

“Come on," Kurt said, grabbing Coopers arm and leading towards the door.

There goes their night, Blaine thought. Cooper, the cock-blocking bastard had gotten some and they would get stuck carting his drunk ass home instead of taking advantage of their king sized bed.

“I wanna staaaay,” Cooper slurred.

“Let's go, tiger,” Kurt said as he wove his way through the crowd. “You've had enough for one night.”

Blaine pouted. Kurt never called him tiger.