Kurt Hummel Vampire Slayer
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Kurt Hummel Vampire Slayer: The Substitute


E - Words: 6,107 - Last Updated: Jan 25, 2013
Story: Closed - Chapters: 17/? - Created: Jul 04, 2012 - Updated: Jan 25, 2013
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Author's Notes:

Chapter Warnings: sexual situations

 

-Cookies-

 

Emma, Holly, and Will sat at a table in the teachers lounge speaking in hushed tones.

 

“The police are chalking it up to some new designer drug,” Will continued. “The official word is that Dave fled town when he realized that the police would be investigating him in light of Missy's complaint. DNA results aren't in but they fully expect that he'll be tied to the murders of Brett and that girl from Westerville. There's a full on manhunt out searching for him.”

 

“That's a waste of resources. Too bad we can't tell them not to bother,” Holly commented.

 

“I’m worried about Kurt. Do you think the Watchers will deal harshly with him? Dave was human after all,” Will mused.

 

“Oh, please,” Holly scoffed. “He was dealing in black magic so he was fair game. From what Kurt told us, the Slayer was lucky to survive the encounter. There is no reason for us to sanction him. In the old days-”

 

“Yes, the old days, when innocent women were put to death for being suspected of witchcraft. You mean those old days?” Emma accused as she vigorously polished her grapes.

 

“Aren't we a little testy?” Holly sniped.

 

“What I want to know is where did he get the ingredients? How did he know how to mix such a potent elixir?" Emma asked. “The local magic shop doesn't have anything like that — just things for ordinary earth magic. Blessing spells, luck charms, you know, harmless dabbling. What he was took was so vile. And why? I know Dave had his problems, but why would a boy deliberately corrupt himself like that? None of it adds up.”

 

“Cookie?” Holly said in a cheerful voice, holding out a container in Will's direction. He took one and bit into it making an appreciative noise before taking another. “Emma?” she said, offering the batch to the red headed teacher. “Oh, that's right,” she said cattily. “You can't eat anything someone else has touched can you? And I touched every cookie in this container.” She lowered her voice and continued, “and I licked the spatula.” She was pleased at the shutter that elicited form Emma.

 

“Holly,” Will admonished her. “Don't tease Emma. OCD is a serious illness.”

 

“I’m not OCD,” denied Emma. “It's just that proper hygiene is very important to me. There's nothing wrong with that.”

 

“I’m sure she didn't actually lick the spatula; go ahead and have one,” Will encouraged.

 

'I did' Holly mouthed silently to Emma.

 

“No thank you,” Emma insisted. “Carl doesn't approve of eating sweets,” she answered primly.

 

“Carl?” Will asked.

 

“My dentist,” Emma supplied with a shy smile.

 

“Ladies,” declared Sue as she swaggered up the table. “and Holly.” 

 

“Cookie,” offered Holly.

 

“No, Sue doesn't eat anything but her own special blend. I call it the Sue Master Cleanse and I haven't had a solid meal since 1987. That’s how I keep my girlish figure.”

 

“Mannish,” Holly coughed into her hand.

 

“Sue, how is Missy?”asked Emma.

 

“I’m so sorry you asked that, Elmo.  I just made the mistake of asking her that same question and had to listening to that whining baby blubbering on and on for fifteen minutes about how her boyfriend was a sociopathic murderer and how she would have probably been next. What a pathetic crybaby. I'll never make that mistake again. Note to self : don't ask students how they are doing.”

 

“Sue, have a little sympathy. This is so hard for all the students,” Will pointed out.

 

“Hard? You think that's hard? Try having famous Nazi hunters for parents, now that's hard!”

 

“Oh, cookies,” exclaimed Principle Figgins as he walked by.

 

“Have as many as you like,” Holly offered cheerfully.

 


-Delirious Delusions-

 

Kurt walked down the hall toward his locker and immediately noticed something was off at McKinley High. Several students ran past him crying and there was a general air of terror that seemed especially foreboding. In light of the recent events, he’d made a special harness for his sai swords and had taken to wearing them regardless of the risk.

 

He rounded the corner and discovered the source of the students’ terror.

 

“You’re expelled!” yelled Couch Sylvester to a random student. “Detention,” she yelled at another.

 

“But coach, I didn’t do anything,” the hapless boy objected. 

 

“That’s Principle Sylvester to you and you look suspicious to me. According to the patriot act I could send you to Guantanamo for less, so just be grateful!”

 

“Coach, I mean Principle Sylvester, what’s going on?” Kurt asked. “Where’s Principle Figgins?”

 

“Hello, Lady Face. Figgins is doing a stint in the local mental ward after he started singing and dancing in the hallways dressed in a sarong - apparently he thought he was in some sort of Bollywood musical come to life. Glad you’re here, it will save me the trouble of hunting down you and you’re little glee club. As acting principle, I am declaring an end to all arts based clubs in this school.”

 

“You can’t do that,” Kurt exclaimed.

 

“Says who?” Sue countered.

 

“Says me,” answered Holly Holiday.

 

“Ms. Holiday,” Kurt declared in relief.

 

“How dare you countermand my decree. On whose authority?” Sue demanded.

 

“The school board. The glee club is a privately funded bona fide student club and as long as they have a faculty sponsor and have broken no rules, they cannot be disbanded. It isn’t in your power.”

 

Sue snorted.

 

“What faculty sponsor? Will Schuester has fallen to whatever strange mental illness has struck down Principle Figgins and half the faculty. You should have seen the lot of them running around singing and dancing like a bunch of idiots. I say fire them all for mental instability but, apparently, there’s talk of some contagion and the CDC is investigating. Luckily, my superior immune system has protected me. Either that or they really are all plain crazy.”

 

“I’m the glee club sponsor, Sue,” Holly declared. “So come on, Kurt.”

 

“Oh, Principle Sylvester, don’t call me Lady Face, I really don’t appreciate it.”

 

“No one appreciates my nicknames. Would you prefer tickle me doe face?”

 

“No, that would be even worse,” Kurt replied.

 

Holly snorted and tossed her hair as they walked away.

 

“Ms. Holiday, where’s Mr. Schuester and what’s this about a mysterious illness?”

 

“Don’t worry, Kurt. He’s at home but I’m sure he’ll be fine. It’s probably just a flu strain that’s going around.”

 

“I’ve never heard of the flu causing people to think they’re living in a musical.”

 

“Hallucinations caused by fever,” Holly explained. “Like, I said nothing to worry about. I’m your Watcher now so just do as I say.”

 


-Demon at my Window-

Kurt wasn't surprised by the tapping at the window, in fact he'd been waiting and hoping for it. His heart beat faster in anticipation as he went to the window and lifted the sash. It felt so deliciously naughty to say the next words that he knew neither his Watcher nor his father would approve of.

 

“Come in.”

 

The smile on Blaine’s face was worth it. Kurt had never seen anything like it. Like the words Kurt had spoken were the most important words ever spoken and Kurt was someone he’d been waiting his whole life to hear say them.

 

“Thanks,” Blaine said as he climbed into Kurt’s room. He took a moment to let his eyes adjust to the brightness and began looking around. Kurt’s room said so much about his personality and Blaine wanted to take it all in. There was a large vanity with various skin and hair products next to the window. On the other wall, there were two floor to ceiling recessed built in book shelves mostly fill with books and magazines but also several prominent decorative items. There was a door slightly ajar that gave Blaine a view of  the ensuite bathroom. His bed was a single bed with a pile of pillows at the head but neatly made. 

 

Kurt stood feeling flustered for a second trying to figure out what he should do since he’d never had a boy in his room. 

 

“Here sit down,” he finally offered gesturing to the chair he used for his vanity. He smiled nervously and sat on his bed. Blaine took the proffered seat.

 

“So how are you doing, Kurt?” Blaine asked. 

 

“I’m fine,” Kurt claimed nervously.

 

“I’m just worried about you. That boy you killed - he was someone you went to school with and that must be hard.”

 

“It’s weird think about that,” Kurt admitted. “I hated him. I can’t tell you how hard he made my life before I got my slayer powers but I never wanted him dead. Blaine, you know I had to, right? I had no choice,” Kurt pleaded as his voiced cracked a little.

 

Blaine came over and knelt on the floor at Kurt’s feet and took his hands in his.

 

“He was going to kill you. He was going to kill me. He almost did, Kurt. You saved my life.” 

 

“You saved mine first,” Kurt answered with a nervous laugh. He was hyperaware of Blaine’s hands on his and he wanted to hold on to them to keep Blaine from moving away but he resisted the urge. 

 

“I guess we make a good team,” Blaine added as he moved from the floor and sat next to Kurt. Kurt tried to focus on the conversation but all he could think about was that Blaine was sitting on his bed! They sat close but not touching.

 

“So we could be an evil fighting duo but wouldn’t that be a conflict of interest? What would your council say if you started helping me kill vampires?”

 

“That depends,” Blaine said softly looking down.

 

“On what?”

 

“Which vampires,” Blaine answered. “If they are here in Lima making trouble - killing humans brazenly - then they would appreciate it. The Warblers owe you for solving Mary Elizabeth’s murder and they aren’t going to forget that.”

 

“Do they really care about that? She was just a human, right?”

 

“Kurt, she was a citizen of Westerville and a student at Crawford Country Day - that means she was under our protection. The Warblers protect the entire city of Westerville and all of its citizens from supernatural threats. You took care of that threat for us and I promise that won’t be forgotten. We want a truce.” Blaine didn’t clarify that the protection didn’t extend to transients, indigents, and other undesirables. He figured it was best to leave out the more unsavory aspects of the symbioses between the Warblers and the town officials.

“What does this truce entail? Do I have to promise not to kill any vampires? I can’t promise that, you know.”

“No, we know you can’t promise that. Just promise to refrain from killing any supernatural creatures in Westerville without speaking with us first to assess the threat. And promise to leave vampires in Lima alone unless they are killing humans. Sometimes vampires come here to get blood, Kurt, but if the transaction is consensual and no one is harmed you have no right to kill someone just for being a vampire.”

“I have enough to deal with without looking for trouble. I can promise that I’m not going to randomly attack someone just for being whatever they are. But if a vampire is sucking down on a human and it looks like an attack; I’m sorry, I’m going to have to assume it is. Maybe you should warn them to keep these transactions as you so euphemistically call them in private so there is no mistake about it.”

“I think we can work with that.” 

“And the two Warblers that I killed? Are they going to let that go?”

 

“Aaron brought it on himself. He shouldn’t have attacked you at Dalton but, Kurt, vampires are people too. They have lives, friends, and family. When you kill someone, even if it’s justified, it’s going to affect them.” 

 

“My Watcher says that vampires are just demons inhabiting a dead human body with no soul. He claims that they are pure evil. I’ll admit, you don’t seem that way to me. I’m trying to understand this world, Blaine, but I’m having my world view turned upside down it seems nearly every week.”

 

“I’ll answer any questions you have. Ask me anything. Your Watcher is wrong about us, Kurt. We aren’t anything like he’s told you.”

 

“Tell me then, what is it like? I know vampires kill people. Don’t pretend that you’re all just misunderstood.”

 

“I don’t know if it is magic, a demon, or an infection or what causes the transformation. Demons, by the way, are just any creatures that aren’t from this world. They aren’t necessarily evil either. However it is done, becoming a vampire does change you. There are parts of your brain, I guess, that worked when you were human that just don’t any more. The parts the cause you to feel guilt, remorse, shame - things that would make it hard to kill humans, I suppose. When you become a vampire, you have a tremendous hunger for blood and you have to get it to survive. If you felt bad about that, it would be torture to be a vampire.”

 

“You feel those things. I can tell, Blaine. You don’t seem like a cold blooded killer. Are you saying you are different?”

 

“I am,” Blaine admitted. “But that just makes it harder for me. It doesn’t make me a better person. And not having those feelings doesn’t make one a bad person either. Vampires love each other and live fairly ordinary lives. We don’t run amok killing humans, in general. There are other ways to get blood these days. We just want to live like any other being does. Imagine if cows suddenly sent a chosen one out among humans to kill them for eating beef.”

 

“That’s not the same and you know it,” snapped Kurt.

 

“I know it isn’t a perfect analogy and not a flattering one for the vampires but I believe there has to be a way we can survive on this earth together. You can’t kill us all.”

 

“It was so much simpler before I met you,” admitted Kurt.

 

“Life is complicated,” Blaine added with a smile. 

 

“Life,” Kurt chuckled nervously. “Just how old are you?”

 

“Exactly? I’m not sure but two hundred and fiftyish.”

 

Kurt’s eyes widened in surprise. Kurt sat silently trying to take in the ramifications of that.

 

“Is there anything else you want to ask me?” Blaine finally prompted.

 

“Are you gay?”

 

“Wow, how random.”

 

“You said I could ask you anything.”

 

“You’re right; I did. No, Kurt, vampires don’t have sexual orientations.”

 

“You mean," blushing furiously and averting his eyes. “You mean you can't…like the parts don't work?”

“No, no that isn't what I meant at all! Everything works. We just don't…well how can I explain it? We just don't care about gender. If someone is beautiful,” he paused looking at Kurt's flawless face.  He nearly lost his train of though admiring the perfect plains and nearly translucent skin; the way his hair had a careless tousled look that Blaine knew very well was much more carefully crafted than it looked. Blaine spent too much time wondering exactly what color he should call Kurt’s flashing eyes when he finally remembered to continue his sentence. “If someone is stunning, absolutely stunning, why would it matter if they are male or female? I know, it matters to humans and I remember it mattering to me when I was human but I can't remember why.”

Kurt licked his lips at the thought that Blaine might see him that way. He quickly banished such thoughts as impossible. After all, Blaine was two hundred and fifty years old; why would he be interesting in Kurt Hummel? And then there was the whole he’s a vampire problem. Kurt wasn’t sure how they could deal with that.

“So I imagine that you’ve had a bunch of boyfriends and girlfriends,” Kurt said keeping his eyes averted.

“No, not so many,” Blaine answered. “I have friends but I’ve never really had what you might call a relationship. Not like that at least. Fucking is easy but romance…” 

Kurt’s brain was involuntarily flooded with images of Blaine doing things Kurt had seen in the porn movies that he’d tried to watch. Hundreds of years of friends.

“I didn’t ask you about that!” Kurt exclaimed as he stood up and turned to Blaine defiantly. “What did you have to get all crude like that?”

“What?”

“I think you should leave now,” Kurt demanded.

“Kurt, did I do something wrong?” Blaine asked in a puzzled voice.

“I just don’t want to talk about things like that.”

“But you asked me!”

“I just asked if you were gay not for some sort of crude porny description of your sex life!”

“I didn’t say anything-”

Blaine headed for the window racking his brain for what in the world he could have said that had set Kurt off. He didn’t think  humans in general were so touchy about the topic of sex but it wasn’t like he spent much time with humans. He mostly hung out with the Warblers and rarely interacted with the boys at Dalton.

“Blaine, wait,” Kurt said as Blaine was about to jump down from the branch. “It isn’t your fault. It’s just that I don’t like talking about stuff like that. You’re right, though. I brought it up and you were just answering my questions. Forgive me?” Kurt couldn’t blame Blaine for his own dirty mind. 

“Of course,” Blaine said with a huge grin. “I have something I wanted to ask you.”

Blaine fished out an envelope from his pocket and handed it to Kurt. 

“Tickets to Rent?” Kurt said excitedly when he looked at the contents. 

“You can have them and go with Mercedes, if you want.” Blaine looked at Kurt hopefully. “But I was hoping you’d go with me.”

“Yes, I’d love to.”


-Substitute Boyfriend-

“So I was thinking bowling this Friday. What do you say?” Mercedes asked hopefully.

 

“I can’t Cedes,” Kurt answered. “I have plans.” 

 

“What kind of plans?”

 

“Blaine got us tickets to see Rent.”

 

“Blaine?” Mercedes asked incredulously. “Are you serious? He’s a vampire, Kurt, or have you forgotten?”

 

“It isn’t something I can forget. He isn’t evil, Cedes. We can trust him.”

 

“Are you crazy? Dating a vampire? You’re supposed to slay vampires not date them!”

 

“We’re not dating. It’s just nice to be able to talk to someone who understands me.”

 

“What am I, chopped liver?”

 

“It’s different. He understands what it’s like to be different. He just gets me. Last night we talked for hours and…I just enjoy hanging out with him. And he’s pretty handy when it comes to patrolling.”

 

“Does Ms. Holiday know that you are patrolling with a vampire?”

 

“No, and I’d like to keep it that way. She wouldn’t understand.”

 

 “Well, neither do I, Kurt. I’m going on record as being completely against this.”

 

“You’re just jealous, Cedes. You’re not over your crush on me so you’ve been acting like I’m your boyfriend even though you know that isn’t possible.”

 

“I’m just going to pretend you didn’t just say that, Hummel, because that was all kinds of insulting. I’m not jealous; I’m worried for your life. Vampires just want one thing and trying to pretend you can be friends with one is just dangerous. When you finally find that out, I won’t even get to say I told you so because you’ll be dead. Now I’m walking away before I get any angrier. For the record, I was over you the moment you told me you were gay.”

Kurt wondered if Mercedes were right. He and Blaine had fallen into a pattern of either patrolling together at night or sitting and talking for hours in his room. He should be worried about so many things but he was enjoying the boy’s company too much. 

 

Kurt didn’t trust the Warblers’ council but he did trust Blaine and Blaine had assured him that they wanted a truce with the Slayer. “The Warblers owe you for solving Mary Elizabeth’s murder.”

 

“Kurt,” Holly said startling him out of his recollections. 

 

“Ms. Holiday,” he answered.

 

“How many times do I have to tell you? Call me Holly. Everyone does.”

 

Kurt looked back at the blond woman who was supposed to be the one person in the world he could completely trust. Kurt didn’t have any proof but he trusted his own instincts and they were telling him that something was not right. He’d held back the truth about his relationship with Blaine; the more he thought about the more he realized it was because he didn’t trust her.

 

“What did you want to talk about?” Kurt asked.

 

“What are you doing tonight? I want to investigate some rumors of Bezoar that may have taken up residence in the area. I want to catch it before it starts laying eggs.”

 

“It will have to wait; I’m having dinner with my dad and his new girlfriend tonight.” Kurt couldn’t help letting his distaste at the prospect show. 

 

“Kurt, your slayer duties come first,” insisted Holly. “I’m sure your father would understand.”

 

“Believe me, I’ve have no idea what a Bezoar is but I’m sure I’d rather be facing that than this dinner. It will have to wait because no matter how much I hate this idea of my dad dating, I have to be there for him. You just don’t understand how important my dad is to me, Ms. Holiday.”

 

Holly smiled tightly to cover her irritation.

 

“Fine, as you say, it can wait.”

 

 


 

-Wooing Humans-

 

“Hi, Blaine,” Nick said when he answered the door, wearing only his boxers. “Come in.” 

 

Blaine followed him into his suite where Jeff was sprawled on their bed, also nearly naked in just a pair of shorts. The blond vampire was lying on his stomach laughing at something he was watching on an iPad.

 

“Blaine,” he said excitedly when he saw the fellow Warbler approaching. “Have you seen this?” 

 

“What are you watching?”

 

“Back to the Future! It’s a movie about a guy who goes back in time. Awesome!”

 

Blaine chuckled. 

 

“Yes, I’ve seen it, Jeff.”

 

Nick settled on the bed, back against the head board, and motioned for Jeff to join him. Jeff dutifully put away the iPad and spend a moment trying to get as close to Nick as possible looking all the while like an overgrown puppy trying to get in his owner’s lap. He finally settled with his head in Nick’s lap and his body curled around Nick’s legs. Nick began to absentmindedly run his fingers through the blond hair he loved so much.

 

“So what’s up, Blaine?” Nick asked.

 

Blaine sighed dramatically and threw himself down on the foot of their bed. As he lay on his back, looking up at the ceiling, he wondered how to even ask what he wanted to know. 

 

Nick kicked at his side playfully and said, “Did you come to talk or did you have something else in mind?”

 

Blaine glanced over at the two and felt a pang of jealousy at how comfortable they looked together.

 

“Just talk, tonight. I need some advice about humans.”

 

“Eat them!” Jeff offered helpfully.

 

“No, silly,” Blaine replied. “You can’t eat all humans.”

 

“Why not?”

 

“Because…”, Blaine paused wondering exactly what could he say that would explain to the recently turned vampire.

 

“Because,” Nick interjected, “If we ate all the humans, who would make the movies that you love so much?”

 

“They make those?”

 

“Yes, baby, they make almost everything you love.” 

 

Blaine could practically see the wheels turning in Jeff’s head at that news. Nick was such a good sire - so patient with Jeff.

 

“Why come to me for advice, Blaine? I’m flattered but there are so many older vampires in the Warblers.”

 

“I need someone with more recent experience in these matters and that would be you. You dated Jeff as a human more than a year before you turned him and I need that sort of insight. I just don’t get humans and I need to.”

 

Nick nodded, finally understanding.

 

“So, are you talking about a juice box or is this human progeny material?

 

“It’s complicated. Neither, I think. Or at least, I have no idea how far this can go. How about just boyfriends?”

 

“Who exactly are we talking about, Blaine? Is he a student at Dalton?”

 

“No, he isn’t a student here.”

 

“Then how did you even meet him?”

 

“It’s complicated.”

 

“Oh my god, you’re not talking about the Slayer are you?”

 

“What do you know about that?”

 

“Besides the fact that he murdered Aaron? I was there when you guys were having that confrontation with him. I didn’t know what was going on at the time but I heard all about it later. Blaine, what are you thinking? You can’t get involved with the Slayer.”

 

“You’re not supposed to know about that. No one is. Wes promised that know one was to know what happened to Aaron.”

 

Nick snorted.

 

“Try keeping a secret in the Warblers. Those ancient vampires don’t understand the modern age we live in. Just because Jon is in Romania doesn’t mean that he can’t talk to us. You remember, my brilliant human boyfriend Jeff got us all wired. The Warblers have a website and everything now. You’re so brilliant, baby,” Nick said to Jeff as he kissed his lover tenderly on the forehead.

 

Jeff had fallen half asleep during the conversation but heard enough to know he was being talked about. 

 

“I like computers,” he agreed in a drowsy voice. 

 

“Blaine, just give it up. I saw the boy and, sure, he’s extraordinary but that isn’t worth throwing your life away for. You’re lonely. I get it but join us more often. Or Thad. Or any of the other Warblers who would be ecstatic to take you as a lover. You’re sex on a stick, Blaine. Don’t sell yourself short. The Slayer only has one thing on his mind. He’s going to use you then stake you. It’s what they do! If you want a human, Dalton is full of beautiful boys and the girls over at Country Day can be very accommodating.”

 

“It’s too late,” Blaine answered. “I think I’m falling in love with him. I think maybe I already have.”

 

“If you insist on going to your doom, I’ll help you. Don’t expect me to avenge you after you’re dust because I’ve got Jeff to think about now and I can’t go running around fighting with the Slayer.”

 

“Thanks, you’re a good friend,” Blaine chuckled.

 

“Sex?” Jeff asked suddenly.

 

“Not now, baby. Blaine and I are talking.”

 

“Sex with Blaine?” Jeff offered hopefully.

 

Nick looked at Blaine quizzically but Blaine just shook his head.

 

“Not tonight, baby,” Nick insisted. “Just us, but later. The best advise I can give you, Blaine, is to let him set the pace. It’s so hard to judge with humans so you should just take your cues from him. Let him make the first move. And with him being the Slayer, be extra cautious. Do you even know if he’s interested in you?”

 

“No, I don’t. I think we’re hitting it off. We talk and…” he hesitated because maybe telling Nick he’d been patrolling with Kurt was a little to much, “and we hang out in Lima. I don’t know what it means but I know what I want it to mean. I feel something when I’m with him that I’ve never felt before. Not ever.”

 

“Not even with Brittany?”

 

“I don’t want to talk about her,” Blaine snapped.

 

“Yes, of course, sorry. I know it’s a touchy subject with you. I don’t understand why but I respect your boundaries,” Nick added hastily. None of the Warblers knew the story of how Blaine had turned his progeny and they all put up with his eccentricities about the subject. Nick rolled away from Jeff and out of the bed. He walked over to Blaine and extended his hands, pulling Blaine to his feet when he accepted the gesture. Nick wrapped himself around Blaine and buried his face into the crook of the older vampires neck and squeezed him tightly. 

 

“Blaine, we’re here for you. You know that, don’t you? All of the Warblers love you even if we don’t remind you of it often enough. I know I’m your most recent friend in the Warblers-”

 

“Except Jeff,” Blaine chuckled. Blaine let himself relax into Nick’s embrace. 

 

“Yes,” Nick agreed. “What I was going to say is that even though I haven’t known you as long, I think we have a special bond and I just want you to know that I don’t want anything bad to happen to you.”

 

“Thanks,” Blaine answered gratefully. 

 


-Tears of the Slayer-

Kurt walked along the sidewalk berating himself for the stupidity of storming out when he didn’t have a way home. He’d called Mercedes but her phone had gone straight to voice mail. She was probably still mad at him over the whole Blaine issue. 

 

He was just about to give up and walk back to Breadstix when a familiar voice said, “Need a ride?”

 

It was Holly Holiday. Kurt climbed into her car without a word. 

 

“Do you want me to take you home?”

 

“No,” he said miserably. 

 

“That’s fine, we can just drive around a little while,” she assured him. 

 

She drove for a little while then parked in a secluded spot not far from Kurt’s house.

 

“Kurt, I’m your Watcher; you can tell me anything. What’s wrong?”

 

“Mr. Shue is my Watcher,” he insisted.

 

“Fine, I’m your substitute Watcher then. I think you’ll find that I’m a good listener.”

 

“My father is dating Finn’s mother.”

 

“And you resent that because you feel she’s trying to replace your mother,” Holly supplied. “And Finn - he’s trying to replace you in your father’s eyes.”

 

“Exactly!” Kurt waited for the inevitable adult lecture that was sure to follow. The stern reminder that he was being selfish and that he should be happy for his father. It didn’t come.

 

“You have every right to feel that way, Kurt. You’re the Slayer and the whole weight of the world is on your shoulders and does anyone else get that?”

 

“No,” he answered in awe.

 

“No, they don’t,” she agreed smugly.

“It’s not just that though. I sort of like Carol and I understand that my dad is lonely but he doesn’t know Finn like I do. He doesn’t understand what a total creep that boy is. They were all football this and football that and you’d think Dad didn’t even have a son.”

 

It all came rushing back to him the way he’d been so in love with Finn his sophomore year until the day the football team decided to teach him a lesson about keeping his eyes to himself. He’d never done a thing to any of them but somehow his very existence was a threat to them. The words were worse than the blows. He was tough and he survived by knowing he was better than they were and he’d leave Lima someday. Words like faggot, fairy, and queer just rolled off of him but Finn had delivered the coupe de grâce with words as truthful as they were hurtful. You’re  just a disgusting pervert. I bet you’ve jerked off thinking about me, haven’t you, you faggot. I hope you’ve learned to keep me out of your filthy perverted fantasies from now on. 

The words still rang in his head and Kurt was so ashamed because they were true. He had jerked off to thoughts of Finn. He had thought of them doing absolutely disgusting acts together. He’d thought things that he had no right to think. Now, he refrained from such vile thoughts and acts as much as he could make himself but sometimes in his dreams he couldn’t help it. He’d wake to the shameful evidence that he was indeed, as they’d said, a pervert. He couldn’t talk to his father about it; it was too mortifying.

 

 “You know what, Kurt. I think you need a drink. Here,” she said handing him a flask from her purse. “Go on,” she encouraged. “It will give you the courage to face your fate.”

 

“Really?” he asked skeptically.

 

“Trust me,” she said with a smile. He took a swig and nearly choked as the burning liquid went down his throat. 

 

“I wish my mom were still alive,” he nearly sobbed. “She’d know what to tell me. Everything is so confusing and I don’t know what to believe.”

 

“Oh, Kurt, I’m so sorry,” Holly said as she pulled him into a hug. He buried his head into her shoulder and was assaulted with a familiar scent. His mother’s perfume. He might have thought it a very suspicious coincidence that Holly wore his mother’s perfume but the emotional impact of it was too overwhelming to allow him to think clearly. “It’s OK,” she murmured. “Just let it all out. You’ll feel so much better.” As Kurt let the tears flow, she smiled and said too quietly for him to notice, “Tears of a Slayer.”

 

When he finally pulled away to dry his eyes, Kurt felt more embarrassed than relieved. He didn’t let people see him cry. Especially not strangers like Holly Holiday. 

 

“I should go home now. My dad will be wondering where I am. He’ll be worried.”

 

“I’ll drive you home.”

 

“No, I’ll walk the rest of the way. I need to clear my head.”

 

“I’ll see you tomorrow then.”

 

Kurt hesitated, standing by the car wondering if he should just close the door and go or if he dared to ask the question that was plaguing him.

 

“Ms. Holiday, do you think some vampires could be good? Or are they all evil?”

 

She snorted derisively. 

 

“I don’t know what kind of liberal drivel Will has been feeding you but of course all vampires are evil. The Watchers have gone down the slippery slope allowing witches to live so long as they practice so called white magic and even werewolves are safe these days as long as they don’t eat any humans, but vampires? Why would the Slayer even exists if they weren’t evil vile spawns of a demon dimension? Are you suggesting a vampire with a soul? The idea is preposterous. Don’t think about such things.” 

 

Don’t worry your pretty little head, she means. 

“Thanks for clearing that up,” Kurt snarked before closing the door and heading down the street. “All vampires are evil,” he muttered to himself as he walked home. Kurt thought back on the recent events of his life and if he was sure of anything it was that Blaine was his friend and that he could trust him. He couldn’t say that about Holly Holiday or Will Schuester. “He’s not evil,” Kurt snorted. “If anything you’re the one who is evil,” he said sarcastically. Then he looked back to Holly’s car driving away. Cocking his head thoughtfully he wondered…Kurt shook his head forcefully. He was just imagining things. 

 

 


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