Chapter 5

I turn the page of my diary to show Blaine the drawing of him. He gasps at the sight and gives me an incredulous look. “Wow! Honey you were already so talented. It looks really awesome. Well not the motif per se but the details are really incredible. Uh and I might say I really look totally at ease and relaxed,” he grins and nuzzles his nose behind my ear.

“Well, you got an awesome handjob my darling. It's supposed to get you totally relaxed, right?” I snicker and he laughs softly.

“Yes, you're right. It was the first time, someone else touched me there and I nearly exploded on the spot. Didn't make it easier that your body was and still is so damn gorgeous. God, Kurt. After that time all our reservations broke loose and we couldn't stop exploring further when I recall. Wow, that was an intense time. Wanna go on?” Blaine waggles his eyebrows and I just turn the page with a smile on my face.

February 2011

Dear diary.

Holy shit. I can't stop touching Blaine. Like at all. I have this itching in my fingers that keeps me digging my hands under his shirt to touch his chest and his belly and his back all the time. It's like a drug. I don't DO drugs but Blaine is so responsive and I'm so hard all the time. Fuck... I'm distracted at school when I think of the afternoon when we meet at my home to make out. And get off together. But it's so much more than just getting off. It's love. I love Blaine. He's my everything. I will marry him one day. And we'll have kids together. And I'll be either on Broadway or in fashion. I KNOW. I'm getting way over my head already but that's what I want in life. These are my dreams. Let's see what exactly will happen in the future. Oh my... I'm kind of melancholic it seems. But it's nothing bad. I'm happy. I'm happy with Blaine, my parents approve of our relationship. Finn and Rachel have this weird on-off-relationship but Finn is great as a brother. I didn't think we would make it in the beginning. He was not always nice but now he protects me and Blaine and our relationship against others. It's awesome. It's great to have him in our corner. Mercedes and Britt love Blaine. Like really love him. They would try to steal him from me if he was only a bit interested in girls. Well who wouldn't? He's so loveable. And so damn polite. Sometimes it's too much though. No wonder that some girls think he's straight. I told him so many times that he shouldn't lead the poor girls on. But it's his charm. He can't help it. Did I mention that he's the perfect boyfriend? Because he really is. Plan for today: BLOWJOB! I really want to try that. Giving and receiving, of course. But I wanna try it first on Blaine. I nearly did it yesterday, but I backtracked shortly before I could put my mouth on him. I hope he didn't feel my hesitation. It wasn't him, I just got scared that I could hurt him in a way so I freaked out. But today is the day. If he wants to try that, of course. OH! What time is it? Fuck, he'll be here any minute. Wish me luck that I don't blow it. HAHA. Pun intended. See ya, Kurt

Blaine nearly doubled over and I cringed.

“What is so funny, huh?” I ask sourly and slap his leg. “You enjoyed your first blowjob immensely, my darling, so don't you dare laugh at me. Even if it wasn't on that day that I had planned it.”

“No! You were just so damn funny, open and sweet. It's awesome. Really. And you were great. I really loved how you reduced me to a babbling mess.” Blaine looks at me lovingly and I try to be mad at him.

“Babe... come on. Don't be mad. I didn't laugh at you. I loved you back then, I love you now and I will always love you. Shall I sing that old Whitney Houston song for you?” He gives me the puppy dog eyes and I groan. He has perfected that look over all these years and I couldn't resist him even in the beginning.

“Fine! But promise me that you won't laugh about my diary entries. I was 16 for heaven's sake. I was a horny teenager who couldn't wait to explore your whole body and go all the way with the love of my life.” I grumble and Blaine kisses my neck softly.

“I promise! Now go on, please.” Blaine winks at me and I settle back into his chest.

March 2011

Dear diary.

I'm so happy that I have a boyfriend who loves me. DRAAAAAAAAAAAMA at school today. Holy shit. Noah slept with Rachel and Finn found out. He dumped her in Glee club and she started crying and wailing on the spot. Finn punched Noah in the face and Quinn tried to interfere and screamed at Finn. He ran out of the choir room and I couldn't find him when I followed to look for him. Britt and Santana made out in the back of the choir room, oblivious to all the yelling and Artie and Mercedes tried to calm the whole bunch down. Noah held his burning cheek and Mr. Shue tried to calm Rachel. Mike, Tina and Sam just watched with a worried glance at the whole scenario and I wished Blaine was there with me. Holy cow. Finn texted me about 10 minutes later that he went home. Well, I could understand that. After several attempts of getting something done in Glee club, Mr. Shue surrendered and sent us home. When I arrived home, I found Finn in the living room, playing some racing game on his X-box. I asked him if he wanted to talk about it and after some moments of silence he agreed. I texted Blaine to wait for another hour until he came over so that I could have bro-time with Finn. He agreed and I sat next to Finn on the couch. I waited for him to say something and he started crying. I pulled him into a hug and he broke down. Babbled something like he loved Rachel and that he's angry that she betrayed him and that he doesn't want to give her up and that he and Noah couldn't be friends anymore. My heart ached for him. I petted his head and let him cry on my shoulder. What advice was I supposed to give him? I had no idea so I just said everything would be okay in the end and let him cry a bit more. After what felt like an hour he calmed and got us a water from the kitchen. He thanked me for being an awesome brother and told me that he would go up to his room and that I should say hello to Blaine. I asked him if he would be okay and he said yes. When Blaine arrived I told him what happened and he asked if he could visit Finn real quick. I said yes and he came back after 20 minutes and told me that Finn was better now. But he didn't really tell me what they talked about. Whoa! My boyfriend is incredible. He always knows how to calm others and charms everyone, straight or gay. Well, obviously the mood for getting intimate was ruined for the day but we cuddled on my bed and watched a movie. I felt so loved... Finn is better now. He wants to talk to Rachel tomorrow and maybe they can work it out. Hm. Not sure if it's the right decision, but it's his to make. See ya, Kurt

“Do you want to know, what we talked about?” Blaine asks me and I think about it for a moment.

“No. It was something between you and Finn. You never asked me what the girls and I talked about, when someone was feeling bad. So no. But thank you for asking me.” I smile at him and turn some pages of my diary.

March 2011

Dear diary.

I got hit on in a music store today. The idea of other boys being interested in me was nice but the guy was damn creepy. He wanted my number, my address and asked me if I was willing to go on a date with him. WTF??? I told him that I have a boyfriend and he told me that he knows. Again...WTF??? I asked for his name and he said Sebastian. The name sounded familiar and he smirked at me and tried to grab my ass. When he asked me how Blaine was I remembered where I heard the name before. He was Blaine's classmate and constantly hitting on Blaine. So he tried to wind me up but I didn't give in to stoop that low. I told him that Blaine and I were great and that he could stop hitting on me and Blaine because he didn't stand any chance with either of us. He just laughed at me. ASSHOLE! I went for the exit and he yelled after me that he would get Blaine or me at some point. That nobody could resist him in the end. I yelled back that he would have a chance in his dreams... maybe. Ugh. Bastard. I called Blaine afterward and told him what happened. He was so angry and told me he would deal with Sebastian at school the next day. I trust Blaine. I don't think that he would cheat on me with that meerkat. Or anybody else for that matter! Rachel and Finn are back to normal. Well, Rachel calls it normal. I think Finn just pretends to be okay. I have no clue and he won't really talk to me about his feelings. I don't know why, but Finn and Blaine bonded over the whole Rachel drama in the last week. I'm happy for them both, but I feel like I could lose my 'favorite bro' card. Finn assured me that it is nothing to worry about. He likes Blaine like a second brother and they can talk football and x-box and all that crap. Okay then. I'll surrender and leave them to their bromance. I'm willing to share. Both of them. But just with each other. Gives me some time with Mercedes and Britt. Santana is attached to Britt's hip these days. It's okay though. I'm beginning to like her. She's really good to Britt and we have the same snark.

Topic-change:

In 2 weeks I have the house to myself for 36 hours. Dad and Carole are visiting Carole's sister and Finn is going with them. YESSSSS! Kurt home-alone... nearly a whole weekend... with Blaine... I have so many plans. We'll be alone. We could have sex. We could cuddle naked on the couch. Ew! No! Who knows what Finn and Rachel have done on that couch. Ugh. Gross. I plan a romantic dinner with candles and slow music and dancing and cuddling and making out and maybe, if all is right, we'll take the last step. I'm ready and I know that Blaine is too. We talked about it so many times and I want to bottom my first time. Blaine's okay with it. I'm a bit nervous. But I really want it. Oh and I recently discovered that we both love to 69. Holy shit that's so hot. First time was a bit awkward with a lot of laughing and choking. But well, we'll get there with a lot more practice. HarHar. Oh, Blaine will be here in a few. Have to go. See ya soon, Kurt

“Oh my god, Blaine, let me explain first before you say something, okay? I never had any doubt of your faithfulness! Never had I thought you would cheat on me with anybody. Sebastian made me cringe and I'm happy that he backed-off at some point.”

Blaine nods and hums in acknowledgment and ushers me to go on.

“And I never was jealous of your relationship with Finn! I swear. You know me. I was just a bit bitchy sometimes when I had to share you but never really jealous. And as for the sex plans? I guess it worked out pretty good, my planning. But that must be the next entry. Wanna go on?” I ask cautiously and try to gauge Blaine's reaction to the last one.

“Of course. Let me see your point of view of that incredible weekend.” Blaine grins mischievously and I turn the page.

April 2011

Dear diary.

OMG

OMG

OMG

OMG

I LOST MY V-CARD!!!!

I still can't believe that it really happened. As predicted, we had the house to ourselves and dad knew what I had planned. He knows me too well. When they said their goodbyes he reminded me to be safe and to not rush into anything. And to have fun. HA! Yeah dad, thanks. When Blaine arrived, I was in the kitchen and nearly done with dinner. The dining room was prepared with candles and music and the good tableware. My clothes were impeccable and the sparkling cider was already on the table. Blaine came into the kitchen and handed me a bouquet of beautiful flowers. I thanked him with a kiss and shooed him into the dining room. When we sat across from each other and stared into each others eyes I think I stopped breathing for a moment. Blaine looked breathtaking and his amber eyes were shining with something new. Something like anticipation. Well, I bet I had the same look on my face. Dinner was great and we fed each other cheesecake. After putting the dishes in the kitchen and blowing out the candles, we settled into my room. I started a nice playlist on my iPod and after some soft and slow kisses we grew more desperate. A while later we lay naked on my bed and we were blowing each other because Blaine had told me that we would last longer for the actual sex when we already had an orgasm shortly before. Well who was I to complain? Right... Blaine prepped me with so much care and so much love that it didn't really hurt. I'm really happy that we already fingered each other before so that the feeling wasn't really new. When I told him that I was ready he put on a condom and got ready. We agreed that we wanted to look into each others eyes for the first time, so I laid on my back when Blaine entered me. Holy hell his dick was big... Oh, that's sounds awful. Well, it was. But Blaine was so patient with me and pushed only slowly and cautiously into me. When he was in all the way he waited for me to get used to the intrusion. Maybe a minute or two later I told him to move, slowly. That's when I wrapped my legs around his waist and Blaine started a slow rhythm of pushing and pulling himself in and out of me. It was incredible. Really. I'm not sure if Blaine has a prostate GPS but he found it immediately and I literally saw stars. I have no idea how long we both lasted but at some point I couldn't hold back any longer and told Blaine that I was close. Blaine pulled my left leg over his shoulder and I felt him getting even deeper. After a few thrust I came with a scream and some seconds later Blaine came too. Gosh... That was the most intense orgasm I ever had. I'm curious to explore sex further.

We cleaned up real fast and snuggled in my bed. Sleep came fast and when I opened my eyes the next time it was already morning. Blaine watched me with sleep-tussled hair and his eyes were a deep gold that morning. He kissed me slowly and after some sweet caresses we got up to get ourselves some breakfast. After cleaning the kitchen and the dining room from the night before, we cuddled on the couch and watched some movies. I wanted to do it again, but Blaine insisted that I needed a break after because of being sore. Well, we found a way to keep going. That's how I made love to Blaine that night with equal love, trust, sweetness and passion. Topping was great too. I can't really decide right now if I have a preference. We'll figure that out eventually. Sunday morning came bright and sunny and after another great breakfast dad, Carole and Finn entered the house with flashing grins on their faces when they spotted us and our various hickeys. Blaine froze and I blushed so hard that dad had to chuckle. He told us that we looked well loved and I was in charge to do the laundry. OMFG. Why is he always so embarrassing when Blaine is present? I just covered my face with my hands and Blaine put a hand on my knee and whispered in my ear that he would help me with the laundry. I just smirked and we went to my room. Dad, Carole and Finn laughed when we ran upstairs and I promise I'll get back at them, one way or another. After Blaine was gone for the evening after dinner with us, I had to call my girls Mercedes and Britt. They squealed into the phone and demanded a group-chat. Oh man what did I get myself into? Mercedes, Britt, Santana, Tina and RACHEL bombarded me with questions. One more inappropriate than the other. Why did I agree to do that? No clue. I got through it without talking about the size of Blaine's dick... These girls are really awfully nosy... Have to go to bed now. I'm so exhausted and so so happy. Why's that? Hmmmmmmmmmm a lot of sex I'd say. Haha. See ya, Kurt