Aug. 17, 2012, 1:16 p.m.
Searching in the Dark: Even With Scars
E - Words: 2,216 - Last Updated: Aug 17, 2012 Story: Complete - Chapters: 24/24 - Created: Jun 29, 2012 - Updated: Aug 17, 2012 1,094 0 3 0 0
Kurt woke at five the next morning when his alarm went off. It took him longer than most people to get ready so he made sure to set his alarm for before anyone else got up. Blaine woke up to the sound of the alarm. He groaned and turned around in the bed, only to notice that he wasn't alone.
"Kurt...?" he mumbled sleepily.
"Shh." Kurt kissed him softly. "It's okay, it's only five. I get up earlier than everyone else. It takes me a while to get ready..."
"Okay." Blaine used the little energy he had to slowly pull himself into a sitting position. Kurt sighed.
"Go back to sleep… There's no need for you to get up just because I have to."
"No, Kurt. I said I would help you and I meant it." Blaine stood up and helped Kurt up on his feet. Kurt took his hand.
"I'm okay... But the bathroom's this way." Blaine nodded, then hesitated a little before asking.
"Kurt... Do you need any help or anything? I know you usually do things on your own, but it must be hard when you can't see…"
"It's difficult..." Kurt bit his lip. "They're meant to have special equipment, but they don't want to pay for it. I normally slip over at least twice." Blaine had suspected that. He took Kurt's hand.
"Tell me what to do." Kurt sighed.
"If you could... Could just steady me in the shower, and pass me things?" Kurt blushed. "I'll... I'll leave my boxers on..."
"Of course," said Blaine gently. "And you do it either way you're comfortable with. I won’t even look down. But if you want to leave your boxers on, that's completely fine." Kurt nodded and got undressed, pausing before he pulled down his boxers. He waited nervously for Blaine's reaction, he knew from touch that he was absolutely covered in scars and bruises from bullying. Blaine noticed how tense the other boy was and put a hand on his shoulder.
"Kurt, I'm not judging you. I would never. Actually, you're-" Blaine looked at Kurt's bruised body. "You're so beautiful."
"I... I'm what?!" Kurt sounded incredulous.
"I take it no one ever told you that before, huh?" asked Blaine quietly. Kurt shook his head, leaning over to turn on the shower. He slipped slightly. Blaine reached out, ready to catch Kurt if he'd fall.
"I mean it. You are beautiful. All of you. Even with scars."
"Thank you. I... I can't see,” he shrugged. "I don't actually have a clue what I looked like." Kurt stepped under the shower spray, Blaine's strong hands steadying him. Blaine's heart broke a little. Kurt didn't even know what he looked like.
"Tell you what. After school today, I'll spend all evening describing how you look, okay?" He kept his hands on Kurt's waist, keeping him steady.
"Really?" Kurt asked, smiling. "Can you pass me the shampoo? It's the rounder bottle... You can get them with Braille, but apparently making my life easier is just too awkward."
"Really," Blaine reassured before passing him the shampoo. "I promise, I'll make your life easier without it being awkward. I mean, look at us right now! This should be awkward, but it's not. I love that." Kurt nodded.
"I love it too."
:)
Soon enough, Kurt was showered and they were heading back to their room. He sat on the floor, wrapped in a towel and sorted through old clothes.
"I'm the skinniest of all the teenagers here so I get everyone's hand me downs,” he sighed. "They're all huge on me." Blaine watched Kurt on the floor.
"I'm okay at sewing... I might be able to make a few of them fit you. And I'm going to help you get that weight back, honey." Kurt smiled.
"Thank you," he whispered, running his fingers over the material and finding the smallest pair of jeans and shirt. He still had to have a belt pulled tight to keep the jeans up, rolling them up repeatedly. The shirt almost fell off one shoulder.
"What time is it?" he asked. "Are you ready?"
"It's five to seven. And yes, I'm ready," Blaine smiled. He stopped Kurt right before they left the room. "Kurt, are we... do you think we should like, make our relationship official? A part of me says it would be really stupid and a part of me just wants to show them that love is love... I don't know."
"It's up to you..." Kurt said softly. "You'll never hear the end of it if they know you're dating the blind freak... Your life shouldn't have to be difficult just because of me."
"I'm not thinking about me here, Kurt. I can take it. I've been bullied before too, but- Not as bad as you have. If they hear you're dating someone, it might get even worse... And you know I will protect you, but we both know I can't always be there. It's impossible." Blaine held Kurt's hand tight in his own.
"I don't see how it could get worse than it already is... I- I want people to know. I don't want to keep it secret." Kurt dipped his head sadly.
"Okay, then let's just do it that way. We don't have to actually tell people, but I can hold your hand and stuff, okay?" Blaine kissed him softly on the lips. "We'll be okay." Kurt nodded.
"Okay," he whispered as the breakfast bell went off. They headed downstairs to plates of bacon and egg. He sighed and took his seat, wincing as Karofsky and Azimio took theirs. Blaine watched the two bullies eat off Kurt's plate again, but this time he couldn't take it. He rose and walked across the hall to one of the workers. "Excuse me," Blaine said. The bored looking woman looked up.
"Yes?" She drawled, disinterestedly. "Anderson isn't it? The new boy?"
"Yes. I would like to have Kurt Hummel change his seat in the dining hall, please."
"Hummel's had that seat since he came here," she yawned, looking away. "He's fine."
"He's not fine!" Blaine growled. "He's getting bullied and you have to see that because he can't. He's blind. He can't see anything. The boys next to him are taking his food every single meal. Haven't you noticed how skinny he is!?" Blaine was close to his breaking point now. He was so close to just losing it. The woman sighed.
"I told Hummel hundreds of times when he was younger that he had to learn to stand up for himself, eventually he stopped whining at me." She rolled her eyes. "The two of you have permission to move tables but I don't want to hear any more complaints from you." Blaine decided not to say anything else. He'd gotten his will through, after all.
"Thank you, ma'm." He hurried back to the table. "Kurt, it's me. You're allowed to change your seat. Come with me." Kurt hesitated.
"R-Really?" He could almost feel Karofsky and Azimio getting annoyed.
"Yeah, I talked to them. Come on now!" He tugged on Kurt's hand.
"Where are we going?" asked Kurt, tapping his cane slowly to try and work it out.
"Here. Here's your new seat." Blaine guided Kurt to the end of a table. No one was sitting even close to them. "No one will take your food here, baby."
"Thank you... I tried a lot when I was little but they wouldn't listen,” he whispered. "Eventually, I just gave up."
"That's what I'm here for," said Blaine with a smile. He kissed Kurt's cheek and ignored the things people were calling them behind his back. He sat down next to his Kurt and took his hand. Kurt leant into Blaine's side, flinching at some of the comments he could hear. The breakfast bell went again and Kurt stood up.
"Come on,” he sighed. "A few of the older kids have cars and they give everyone else lifts. I walk."
"I have a car," said Blaine simply. "Come with me." He took Kurt's hand again and walked him to his car.
"Really?" Kurt smiled slightly. "I'm almost always late."
"You won’t be anymore," said Blaine and smiled.
:)
They drove silently to school, but the silence wasn't awkward, it was comfortable. Blaine kept his hand linked with Kurt's throughout the entire way.
"You'll be fine, baby." He was still a little unsure about calling Kurt 'baby', but the younger boy didn't seem to mind. Kurt nodded.
"Y-Yeah..." They headed into the school and within seconds, Kurt felt the cold sting of slushy being thrown all over him.
"Freak!" the jock hissed.
"D-Did any of it h-hit you?" Kurt whimpered to Blaine, shivering.
"Ohmygod, Kurt!" He led Kurt to the bathroom and started wiping the slushy away from his face, neck and clothes, completely ignoring his question. "Does this happen often?”
"Every day," Kurt sighed. "Blueberry's the worst. There's a clean set of clothes in my bag. Did it hit you?" he asked again.
"Just a little on my shirt," said Blaine while picking up the clothes. As he stood up again to help Kurt get changed, he kissed him tenderly first. "I'm not leaving you, okay? I'll wipe away slushy from your face every day if that's what it takes." Kurt smiled.
"Thank you. What do you have first? I'm Senior French... The rest of my classes are with the Freshmen..." He blushed, clearly ashamed. "They won't supply Braille text books for me... it makes it difficult to learn." Blaine grinned.
"I have senior French, too." He gave Kurt one more peck on the lips. "You ready for this?" The younger boy nodded, gripping onto Blaine's hand. He was terrified, he hated school. So many loud noises and crowds and he couldn't see any of it. He dreamed of being allowed to go to Dalton, where they'd cater to him, get in the things he needed. He'd even kill to have a guide dog. The care home was supplied with enough money for both for him, disability allowance, but they spent it on other things, leaving him to fend for himself. They survived the school day without any further complications, except for some mean comments thrown at them in the corridor. Blaine had run a few minutes early from all of his classes to meet Kurt at the door of his class. It was finally three o'clock and Blaine waited outside of the history classroom to drive them both back to the care home. Kurt suddenly exited the room, angry tears in his eyes and his latest paper clutched, screwed up in his hand.
"Kurt, Kurt! What's wrong?" said Blaine, running after his boyfriend. "Please, Kurt! Stop and talk to me. Did someone hurt you? I swear, I'll kick their asses!"
"No," Kurt whispered harshly. "I'm fine. I just got a fucking F again! How am I supposed to do well when they won't take into account that I'm fucking blind? I can't read the text books, I can't look it up on the internet, I have to go on what I remember from classes and I can barely even write! I hadn't learnt properly before the accident and it's fucking hard to write when you can't see what you’re doing!" He was angry and he was crying, but it was obvious it wasn't directed at Blaine. The older boy sighed in relief of the fact that Kurt wasn't physically hurt, but then got angry because seriously, what kind of a school was this!? He needed to calm Kurt down though so he hugged him tight to his chest.
"Shh... We'll figure it out. I can talk to the teachers? Or someone else… It's not fair, Kurt, I can see that, too. We'll figure it out..." he ran his hands up and down Kurt's back to soothe him. Kurt calmed himself down, breathing deeply.
"The care home gets disability allowance you know," he spat. "They're meant to send me to a school that caters to the blind, and they're meant to get me a guide dog. God knows what they do with the money because I never see any of it."
"I know, honey, I know..." He massaged Kurt's back lightly while still holding him. "I could- I could pay for it."
"Blaine, you don't have any money... It's fine. Really. I just... It sucks!" Kurt cried, "Just because I'm blind it doesn't mean I have to be helpless, there are so many things out there to help people like me, but I don't get any of it!" Kurt was sobbing now.
"Kurt, I do have money. I- Okay, wait, let's go back to our room and I can tell you there, okay?" Blaine kissed Kurt's forehead softly. Kurt nodded and then they walked out of school, Blaine’s arm securely around Kurt’s waist.
Comments
I really liked this!
keep writing this is great!
That care home is full of shit! I wish Kurt could go to Dalton and be taken care of. If Kurt was to go to Dalton could he live there? Or was it just a day school?