Searching in the Dark
oneandonlyHelen
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Searching in the Dark: Tell me the truth


E - Words: 2,756 - Last Updated: Aug 17, 2012
Story: Complete - Chapters: 24/24 - Created: Jun 29, 2012 - Updated: Aug 17, 2012
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Author's Notes: New chapter! This one is especially dedicated to Megan, who said she would die if I didn't update soon ^^ So, here you are, girl! :) I'd also like to say that if someone feels super creative and artistic, they could always make us a cover picture for this story! It'd make us super happy :) If you'd be interested, send either of us a PM :D I guess that's all for now. Sorry for what happens in this chapter. The drama is on again! Enjoy chapter sixteen! WARNING: This chapter contains smut. It also contains eating disorders, which could make some people uncomfortable. Don't read if you don't want to.

Kurt woke first the next morning. He stumbled weakly into the kitchen and started making pancakes for Blaine.

The older boy woke up an hour later to the smell of pancakes. He got up on his feet and walked into the kitchen, running a hand through his hair.

"Kurt?" he asked sleepily.

"Hey," Kurt smiled, propping himself up on the work surface. "I'm making you pancakes, the blueberry kind." Blaine grinned and walked to stand in between Kurt's legs.

"You feeling any better?" he asked, massaging Kurt's foot gently.

"A little," Kurt smiled. "My chest doesn't hurt so much, I just feel kind of weak. Sorry that I fell asleep on you last night. I liked your Mom..."

"It's okay. I knew you would fall asleep, you looked exhausted. I'm glad you're feeling better though," he smiled and got up on his toes to give Kurt a lingering kiss on his lips. He gave him one more small peck before pulling back.

"What did you two talk about?" Kurt asked, hopping off the work surface to keep cooking.

"Not much, she left pretty early," said Blaine. "She did tell me though that she's going to pay for my college, and for our apartment. She told us to use the money we saved up for the wedding." Kurt's eyes widened.

"Can we- can we let her do that?" Blaine put a hand on Kurt's arm to calm him.

"I tried to talk her out of it, but well, she's determined to pay for it, just like she paid for my brother's college and first apartment." Kurt nodded uncertainly. Even with Blaine spoiling him, he wasn't used to letting people do things for him. He was also a little jealous of Blaine. He couldn't help it. He was happy for him, of course he was, he was so happy. But he still couldn't help but being jealous and a little upset. He just wished that his Mom wanted him.

Blaine noticed the sadness in Kurt's eyes and understood it immediately.

"Baby, my mom loved you. She's doing this for us, not me."

"I guess," Kurt whispered, busying himself with the pancakes. "But she doesn't really know me."

"She doesn't know me either, I haven't seen her in two years." Blaine started setting the table for two. Kurt sighed.

“You’re right… Oh, just set it for yourself, I'm not hungry.” Blaine looked at Kurt and then reached out for his hand.

"What's wrong?" he asked, looking into his eyes. "Why won't you eat? You've been eating really well these past two years and now, all of the sudden, nothing."

"It's nothing," Kurt mumbled. "You know being ill takes away my appetite." That wasn't completely true. The first sight of how skinny he was had shocked him, but then he'd gotten used to it and he liked it. He liked the way he fit in Blaine's lap, he liked his slender limbs and he was scared that if he ate, he'd lose that. Now that he could see, now that he'd finally seen the way he looked, he wanted to keep it that way.

"I know you got usually eat much when you're ill, but you always eat more than this. Come on, baby. You can eat some pancakes with me?" Blaine was generally concerned about Kurt's weight. He was light as a feather and he was basically just skin and bones. Kurt sighed.

"Just one,” he decided. They sat down at the table and started eating. Blaine looked at Kurt the entire time, making sure he ate at least one. Kurt finished his one pancake slowly, while Blaine ate four. Kurt felt sick the minute he was finished, his stomach unused to food.

"How about we do an online search for apartments in New York today?" Kurt's eyes lit up.

"Really?" Blaine grinned.

"Sure!" He washed the dishes quickly and then took Kurt hand. "Come on, let's find the best apartment in New York!"

Soon enough, they were curled on the bed with Blaine's laptop in front of them. Their eyes were locked on the screen, staring at different prices and apartments.

"Wow, this one looks great, Kurt!" Blaine exclaimed and pointed at one. Kurt looked over it.

"It's... It's perfect!" The apartment had a master bedroom, a guest room, a bathroom, a kitchen and a living room. It wasn't exactly located close to Broadway, Central Park or something, but it was still in the middle of the city. It looked like exactly what the two men needed.

"Baby, look, the prize isn't even that high! I think we just found our apartment." Blaine grinned down at Kurt.

"Our apartment..." Kurt whispered, smiling. "We're going to live in New York, Blaine!" Blaine’s smile was equally broad.

"Let’s start our life together for real," he whispered and then slid his arms around Kurt's skinny waist. He pulled the other boy in for a long and deep kiss, pressing his lips to his with everything he had. Kurt moaned into the kiss.

"Blaine... Blaine, I need you..." Blaine held his breath for a moment.

"Baby, you're still sick, and sore..." he tried to reason, but he felt just as desperate as Kurt was sounding.

"I don't care, I need it. Please, Blaine,” he begged desperately. Blaine just nodded dumbly, he couldn't resist.

"What do you want?" he whispered against Kurt's lips.

"I w-want you to fuck me." Kurt blushed at how the words sounded. "Please?" Blaine nodded again, unable to say anything. He licked his lips and placed his hands on Kurt's waist to roll them over so that Kurt was on top.

"How do you want me?" he asked and reached up to suck on Kurt's neck.

"Can I ride you?" Kurt asked softly. "Can I try?" He moaned as Blaine kept sucking on his neck, he was particularly sensitive there. Blaine almost came right then and there.

"God, yes!" He pulled Kurt down for a passionate kiss. "But you have to stop if it hurts even a little bit, okay?" he said once he pulled back. Kurt nodded eagerly.

"I will, I promise! You need to stretch me."

"I was kind of hoping you'd get naked first," he winked and slowly started peeling off Kurt's clothes. When he was finished, he looked into his fiancé's eyes. "Undress me, babe." Kurt gently stripped his fiancé, kissing every bit of skin he exposed until the older man was completely naked. Blaine's eyes roamed Kurt's naked form. He was getting skinnier. His bones were showing on many places and even some of his ribs could be seen. This wasn't something Blaine noticed in this moment though. He was way too horny and focused on getting Kurt stretched for him. Soon, he had two fingers pressed up inside Kurt's ass. He moaned softly at the tightness.

"That's enough," Kurt whispered, putting his hand on Blaine's wrist. "I don't want to be too loose..." Blaine licked his lips and nodded again. Then he lay back down and slicked himself up with a generous amount of lube.

"Whenever you're ready, baby..." Kurt steadied his hands on Blaine's shoulders and slowly lowered himself onto his fiancé's length. He winced at the dull pain as he was stretched.

"Oohh," Blaine moaned as Kurt's heat surrounded him. "Shit, you're so tight..."

"That's what I was hoping for." Kurt's chuckle was a little strained as he sat still, waiting until he was used to being so full. After a few minutes, he ground his hips downwards, creating delicious friction. Blaine thrust his hips up, meeting Kurt's movements.

"Oohh, feels so good..." Kurt kept up the fast and hard rhythm for a few minutes before he had to stop to catch his breath, his lungs were hurting a little.

"Give me a minute..." He smiled apologetically at Blaine. "Sorry..."

"We can stop if it makes you hurt," whispered Blaine.

"I don't want to stop," Kurt replied softly. "But I don't think I can ride you any longer..." He managed to flip them so that Blaine was on top and wrapped his legs around the older man's waist. Blaine smiled.

"You ready yet?" he teased, pressing in just a little bit more.

"God yes!" he gasped, trying to push himself onto Blaine. He fucked into Kurt hard and aimed to hit his prostate. He was so damn close now and all he wanted to do was come inside of Kurt. Kurt let out a high pitched whine as Blaine hit his target. He screamed Blaine's name as he came hard over his chest. Blaine reached for Kurt's cock and pumped him through his orgasm. At the same time, he came inside of Kurt, filling him up. Kurt was panting, grasping onto Blaine as if his very life depended on it.

"I love you,” he whispered, kissing him so softly. "I love you so much."

"I love you, too." Blaine kissed Kurt again and again until he realized he was still buried deep inside him. He pulled out slowly and winced from the sensitivity. Then he wrapped his arms around Kurt and snuggled close. "You are my everything," he whispered. "Every day until forever." Kurt smiled, and slowly, they both fell asleep.

 

:)

 

Over the next couple of weeks, Kurt slowly got more healthy, but he still wasn't eating. He didn't want to risk gaining weight. He was careful not to let Blaine notice, pretending to eat when he was around and dressing in extra layers to bulk himself out. Blaine didn't seem to notice anything though. He was happy that Kurt was eating again and their life together was finally starting. In fact, he had some news to share with his fiancé.

Kurt came home from a long walk with Tony at nine in the evening on a Friday in the middle of July. Blaine was standing in the middle of the living room with a huge, goofy smile on his face. Candles were lit everywhere and he was holding a bouquet of red roses in his hands.

"Hey, baby," he said when Kurt entered the room. Kurt let out a gasp as his eyes adjusted to the dim light. Blaine looked breathtaking by candle light.
"B-Blaine? What's going on?"

"I bought the apartment," he said with a bright smile. "It's ours." He walked up to Kurt and handed him the red roses, tears sparkling in his eyes.

"That's amazing!" Kurt squealed, wrapping his arms around Blaine and kissing him passionately. "Wait... You bought? I thought your Mom..."

"Well, I bought it for now. She'll pay us for it later. And we didn't event rent it. It's ours, to one hundred percent." He laughed happily and picked Kurt up to spin him around in circles.

"It... It belongs to us?" The younger man was stunned. "We own a home? Our own home? I love you, Blaine Anderson! I love you so much!" Blaine giggled happily.

"I love you too, Kurt Hummel!" He put Kurt down and then cupped his face with both hands to press a lingering kiss to his lips. He grinned when he pulled back. "Come on." He tugged on Kurt's hand. "I have a movie for us to watch. I think you'll love it." Kurt couldn't help but giggle along with his fiancé. When Blaine was happy, it was infectious. He snuggled against his side on the couch.

"So, what are we watching?"

"It's called Mamma Mia!" he said excitedly and pressed play on the remote. "It has lots of music in it and it's just great." He pulled Kurt closer on the couch and rested his hand on Kurt's slim waist. Kurt instantly tensed under Blaine's hand, but he forced himself to relax and watch the film. He wasn't wearing as many layers as he normally did to cover his way too thin waist.

When the movie came to its ending, Blaine slipped a hand under Kurt's shirt suggestively.

"You know what?" he grinned and kissed Kurt's neck softly. "I think it's been too long since we did something more than sleeping in bed..." His hand wasn't touching Kurt's skin yet, but it was just about to. Kurt bit his lip and tried to flinch away from Blaine, but it was too late, the older man's hand was resting on Kurt's slightly sunken stomach. Blaine sucked in a breath as he felt Kurt's waist.

"Kurt, take off your shirt," he said, his voice shaking. Kurt shuffled away from Blaine, standing up and backing away a little, gripping onto the bottom of his shirt.

"W-Why?"

"Because I need to see you. Take off your shirt," said Blaine more firmly, taking a step in Kurt's direction.

"Please Blaine... Don't-don't make me do this..." Kurt started crying, still backing away, "P-Please!"

"THEN JUST FUCKING TELL ME ALREADY! Tell me how you've been lying to me! Tell me, Kurt! Tell me or take off your damn shirt!" Blaine screamed. He hadn't screamed at Kurt for two years. Kurt flinched harshly, even after two years of knowing nothing but love from Blaine, he was still broken, and people shouting terrified him. Shaking, he took off his shirt, dropping it to the floor.
"You wouldn't have understood,” he mumbled, staring at the ground. Blain stared at Kurt's naked chest and waist. All of his ribs were showing through his skin. His wait was barely a waist anymore and he just looked weak.

"No, no..." Blaine shook his head and buried his face in his hands, letting the tears fall.

"Don't cry,” Kurt whispered. "I'm perfectly fine, really..."

"How much have you eaten?" asked Blaine, ignoring what Kurt said. "Yesterday. How much did you eat yesterday and how much did you throw up or throw away?"

"I ate half a cup of soup that I kept down. I threw away my breakfast when you weren’t looking. I threw up dinner." Kurt rolled his eyes, "For God's sake Blaine! It isn't a big deal! I'm fine! I have this under control! Just drop it!"

"It's like you're spitting all over me," Blaine snapped.

"What are you talking about?" Kurt snapped right back.

"Do you know how much time of these past years I have put on worrying about you? Trying to make you safe and healthy? I don't mind doing those things because I love you, Kurt. All I want is for you to be happy, healthy and safe. And now I find out you did this to yourself..." Blaine shook his head and glared at Kurt. "Still means that I failed."

"I did it for you!" Kurt burst out angrily. He was confused and upset, he'd genuinely thought Blaine preferred him skinny. "You've loved me for over two years and I was always skinny then! I didn't want to risk putting on weight and you not loving me anymore!"

"For fuck's sake, Kurt! You weren't even this skinny when we first met! And I thought you knew that I love you no matter how you look!" Desperate tears were streaming down Blaine's face.

"OF COURSE I DON’T FUCKING KNOW THAT!" Kurt screamed, angrier and more hurt than he'd ever been. "I'M USED TO PEOPLE FUCKING DESPISING ME!" He took a deep breath, his body was shaking with sobs. He reached down and picked up his shirt, slipping it over his head again. "I'm... I'm going out for a bit." And without another word, he slipped out of the apartment, still crying.

"Take your fucking time!" Blaine yelled after him. Then he was left alone. He stared into the wall for five straight minutes. What the fuck had just happened? He and Kurt didn't fight, or did they? He finally broke down, crying loudly into his hands.

 

Kurt didn't get far, he made in ten minutes down the street and then collapsed against a wall, sobbing. He and Blaine had fought. They'd screamed at each other. Never in over two years had they so much as raised their voices. Kurt felt like his whole world was breaking apart.

End Notes: I felt like this story needed more cliffhangers ;) There you go! Btw, if anyone feels like talking to either of us, you can always PM us here, you know our usernames since earlier, or you can tweet us! Me: @HelenFredstam Other Helen: @xhelendyerx Keep reviewing! We love you guys! :) //Helen & Helen

Comments

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This is great!! I hope Kurt and Blaine are ok, and Kurt starts eating more and getsh healthy! I just started reading this today, and I've already read all the chapters so far! It's different, but amazing! Please update soon! :)

No! Why now? Why can't they just be happy? Kurt needs to stop like now! He thinks Blaine likes him skinny, I want to yell at Kurt and hug Blaine right now, I mean yes Kurt has been through alot but why this?