Dec. 3, 2012, 6:15 a.m.
The Status Game: Five
T - Words: 505 - Last Updated: Dec 03, 2012 Story: Closed - Chapters: 6/? - Created: Mar 03, 2012 - Updated: Dec 03, 2012 600 0 0 0 0
Kurt stared at his father and felt his hands tremble. He'd said it. It. The truth of who he was. He'd said it and now his whole world hung in the balance as he waited for the only person he was close to, the only person he truly loved, to respond.
I'm gay.
The words had tumbled out in a rush, spurred on by the adrenaline high from winning the football game and of knowing that for once he'd made his dad proud. No matter what happened now, he wouldn't forget seeing his dad standing and cheering for him.
He'd told Mercedes but somehow the words felt heavier now than they had then, and the pause before her answer hadn't gone as slowly. How much time had passed – seconds? Minutes? He couldn't tell, couldn't look away from eyes that might at any moment be looking at him in hatred and disgust.
I'm gay.
He knew it could go badly – words like fag and disappointment and wrong hissed out in hatred, searing black marks into his skin and heart so he tried to stop himself from hoping, tried to prepare himself for the worst but this was his dad and he couldn't help his heart skipping as he took a step closer. Please, he thought desperately, please, dad, please.
"I know."
What? "R-really?"
"I've known since you were three."
Kurt listened as his dad spoke about sensible heels and if that's who you are and I love you just as much.
That was the phrase that sent tears spilling over his cheeks. I love you just as much.
When his dad pulled him into a hug, Kurt wanted to laugh. He wanted to jump around and sing and shout from the rooftops that he was loved. He wanted to bake and fill the usual silence of their house with chatter and never wipe the smile from his face – but he could do all that later. Right now he was holding on to his dad with a tight grip and he had never felt so grateful in his life.
He knew it wouldn't be easy, that although he had finally accepted himself it didn't mean others would take the lead and follow. The bullying would continue, it may even get worse, but he had his dad on his side and that was the most important thing he could wish for because it meant their house could be his haven, his safe place, and he'd have someone that would listen if he ever needed it. Kurt hadn't realised how much that idea meant to him until now.
His grasp tightened around his dad for a moment before they separated and he smiled as his dad thanked him, then paused and asked him if he was sure.
"Yeah, dad, I'm sure."
"I'm just checking."
Kurt watched as he slowly treaded the steps up out the basement and let out a relieved sigh, a small laugh passing his lips. So maybe his dad wasn't completely okay with the idea, but he was obviously willing to try and that meant the world.
Thank you.