7th of July

Finn finally snapped today. He’d finally got enough.

I say ‘finally’ because I’ve really waited for it.

It kills me, the way he gets treated. Or how he doesn’t get treated. That has been the problem for so long. He doesn’t get any attention.

And today he finally had enough and started a fight with both Carol and my dad. The two of them was on the same side, but Finn stood his ground. I was… proud of him, almost. I know it may sound weird to you, but…

He told them that he was tired of not being noticed in his own home, that he can take it at school but not at home. That it wasn’t fair for them to only take care of me and care for me all the time.

Carol asked if it was Rachel who’d put him up to what he did. (First of all… What was that?)

Finn just shouted even louder and told them they’d broken up, that he’d told her already.

My heart hurt so bad when he said that. Poor Finn!

I’m ruining his life…

Then Burt snapped and pulled up the whole ‘what if you were in his situation?’ crap and I couldn’t listen anymore. Because somehow I think I’d suffer even worse if I was in Finn’s situation. He’s healthy and has good grades (Even better than before since I got sick. I think it’s just yet another way to make them notice him. But they still don’t.) and he’s the quarterback in the school’s football team. He’s a normal teenager with teenage problems. But still his own mother won’t notice him, not even when he tells her he’ve broken up with his girlfriend, because her damn stepson is sick. While I guess I appreciate that Carol’s acting as much like a mother to me as she does, I just can’t stand that she’s forgetting about her own son.

I heard them both tell him that of course they loved him and of course they cared, but I understood Finn when he said that it didn’t feel like it.  

…He came to my room a while later. He was crying. A lot. And he begged me to forgive him for what he’d said downstairs.

I don’t think I’ve ever felt my heart break so hard in my chest for someone that isn’t Blaine. But he… Finn looked so small and hurt and scared and… it killed me. I couldn’t take it.

I tried to get up to hug him, but I couldn’t really make it further than to sit up in my bed, before he sat beside me with his big arms around me, sobbing into my shoulder.

We sat like that for quite a while, and I don’t think I’ve ever heard anyone say ‘I'm sorry’ as many times. Except maybe when Blaine had accidently pushed me into the water and ruined my sweater when we were by the ocean just after we’d gotten together. Oh my god he was so adorable. I miss that day…

Thank you Finn. I love you. You’re the best stepbrother ever.