With You in Your Dreams
NiryLae
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NiryLae

Aug. 23, 2012, 10:41 a.m.


With You in Your Dreams : Chapter 8


T - Words: 3,973 - Last Updated: Aug 23, 2012
Story: Complete - Chapters: 18/18 - Created: Aug 23, 2012 - Updated: Aug 23, 2012
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Author's Notes: Song in this one is "You'll be in my Heart" from Tarzan

Blaine woke the next morning still feeling as apathetic as he was the day before. He groaned as he rolled over and glanced at his clock. When he his brain finally caught up to what his eyes were seeing, he realized the clock read 7:15, Blaine snapped out of his bed and sprinted across the apartment to Ali's room. He let out a breath of relief when he saw she was peacefully sleeping, and plopped down in the rocking chair. Since she had come to Blaine, she had never slept past 6:30.

Once his racing heart had calmed, he quietly walked out of Ali's room and headed to the kitchen to make his first pot of coffee, having a feeling he would need a lot of it today. He thought about calling Wes over so he didn't feel so lonely, but he knew the only company he wanted was Kurt's.

Just thinking about him gave Blaine a dull pain in the chest. He knew he was being foolish, but he just couldn't help how he felt. Blaine felt like an entirely different person when he was with Kurt. He was happier, felt younger, and smiled more often. He hated when people said someone made them feel like a teenager again, but he understood it now. That's how he felt with Kurt. The giddy uncertainty, the romantic fantasies about sweet kisses, and the high levels of naivety. The last was exactly how Blaine felt.

Naive.

He was foolish to believe things could be different for him, that he could have possibly have found the one. He'd already resigned to the fact he would never find the one, so it really shouldn't matter right? But still, Blaine didn't understand why it hurt so much to lose someone he never even had.

He felt embarrassed by his own thoughts now. All of his silly little fantasies of all the times he could have kissed Kurt. Or the ones where they were holding hands, and Kurt was smiling at him with love in his eyes. Or even worse, the ones involving heated kissed while they fought for dominance on Blaine's bed.

Blaine shook his head. He had to stop. Kurt would never be his, no matter how much he fantasized about it. He poured his coffee and sat at the table, slowly drinking while he waited for Ali to wake up. He made a plan in his head. He would have to use all of his willpower to not let Kurt any closer. He would be cool and detached and professional. Like an employer should be. Because that's what Kurt was, his employee. Blaine cringed at having to think of Kurt as something so simple. There was nothing simple about Kurt.

Ali finally started waking up with soft whimpers, and Blaine was actually relieved she was awake. Ali could help distract his thoughts and comfort him at the same time. But, by the time he reached her room he became instantly worried. There was something different about the way she was crying. There was something...off. When she spotted Blaine, she started wailing. Blaine quickly picked her up and felt her entire back was covered in sweat. He put his hand on her head, the skin feeling hot to the touch.

He had a moment of panic before he got his head on straight again. His instincts took over and he quickly removed her pajamas then craddled her tightly in his arms. He walked as fast he could without disturbing Ali and made his way into the kitchen. He got her bottle started then fumbled for his phone, pushing the speed dial that would connect him to the doctors office. The receptionist picked up after the first ring.

"Good morning, Doctor Tyler's office?"

"Yes, hi. My name is Blaine Anderson, my niece..there's something wrong."

"Can you tell me her symptoms?"

"She just woke up covered in sweat and her forehead is really warm."

"How old is the child?"

"She's seven months." Ali started wailing again so Blaine held the phone up with his shoulder while he tried calming her down again. The receptionist put a nurse on the phone, who gave Blaine instructions to take her temperature, and if it was at or above a certain number she would have to be brought in, if not then there wasn't much the doctors could do and it would be a waste of time bringing her in.

He hung up with the nurse and gave Ali her bottle as he walked back to her room. He quickly located the baby thermometer and shuddered when he thought of what he had to do next. He placed a kiss to Ali's forehead before setting her on her changing table. She pulled her bottle away and started crying at the loss of contact, so Blaine smoothed down her hair and made gentle shushing noises. He did the only thing he could think of and started singing soflty.

"Come stop your crying it will be alright.

Just take my hand, hold it tight."

Ali quieted and Blaine gave her the bottle back. He prepared the thermometer, still dreading what he had to do next but he kept singing to calm both himself and Ali.

"I will protect you from all around you.

I will be here, don't you cry. "

He smiled down at Ali, who was watching him closely, as if she understood what he was singing and what he was promising with the song.

"For one so small, you seem so strong.

My arms will hold you keep you safe and warm.

This bond between us, can't be broken.

I will be here, don't you cry"

He smoother her hair again and took a calming breath, losing himself in the song for just a moment before taking her temperature.

"Cause you'll be in my heart.

Yes you'll be in my heart.

From this day on, now and forever more.

You'll be in my heart.

No matter what they say.

You'll be here in my heart, always."

Blaine began to sing a bit louder, as if the volume of his voice could distract her more.

"Why can't they understand, the way we feel.

They just don't trust what they can't explain.

I know we're different but, deep inside us

We're not that different at all."

He sang the next chorus as he started taking Ali's temperature. She started crying soflty again and tried to squirm away. Blaine bent over and pressed their foreheads together, Ali quickly reached up to pull on his ear with her free hand.

"Don't listen to them, cause what do they know?

We need each other, to have to hold.

They'll see in time I know."

Blaine felt the truth in the those words, they did need each other. The thermomater beeped and Blaine stopped singing in favor of removing the thermomater. It read 99.5, only slightly above normal temperature and not warm enough to worry about taking her to the doctors. He put a new diaper on then picked her back up. He sang the next couple of chorus' while he cradled Ali to his chest. She fell back asleep after Blaine's last whispered "Always."

He carefully set her back in her crib and covered her with blankets before making his way back out into the living room. His phone started ringing and he rushed to the kitchen, where he left it, to answer. He picked up the phone and read the screen in shock. It was Kurt. Why was he calling so early? It was only eight in the morning, Blaine figured Kurt slept in.

"Hello?"

"Hi Blaine!"

"H-hey Kurt."

"Oh. I didn't wake you did I? You sound like you just woke up."

"No. No you're fine. I've been up. What are you doing up?"

"Oh. I, uh, I usually get up early."

Blaine noticed Kurt sounded a bit uncomfortable when he said that, and he wondered why. "Well, what's up?"

"I said I would call you today."

"Indeed you did." He wouldn't let himself belief that Kurt called him as soon as he could.

"Sorry I had to run so abruptly last night."

"It's okay. So, what's up?"

"I was just going to see when you wanted me to start coming over to hang with you two."

Blaine thought for a moment. The truth was, he was feeling very stressed and nervous about being alone with Ali while she was sick. He was already feeling emotionally vulnerable after everything with Kurt and worried he wouldn't be able to take care of Ali properly. Even though he hated admitting to needing help, he really did. Blaine knew he should call Wes, that it would be better to have his best friend here and not the person that was causing him such emotional distress. But apparently Blaine was a masochist.

"Actually, if you're not busy today, Ali is sick and I could sorta use the help. Only if you're not busy though. I know it's last minute, so if you've got plans or whatever that's fine. It's just, I've never really dealt with a sick baby. And she's not really super sick, just like a fever and stuff and the doctors said there probably wasn't anything they could do unless her temperature got high enough, but she's still not feeling well and- "

"Blaine. Stop talking. "

"Okay." He took a deep breath and actually smiled when he heard Kurt's laughter on the other end.

"I can be there in an hour? I would have to leave by four though, is that okay?"

"That's perfect."

"And I'm bringing you coffee, you sound like you need it."

"Again, you're a lifesaver."

"So I've been told...by you."

Blaine couldn't fight the smile that broke through. "Right. So. Text me when you're here, in case Ali is sleeping, and I'll buzz you up."

"Sounds good. See you in a bit!"

"Yep. And Kurt?"

"Mhhm?"

"Thank you. Seriously."

"Y-you're welcome Blaine."

They hung up and Blaine hated himself for being this excited. No matter how many times he would tell himself to remain detatched, he couldn't help getting pulled back in by everything about Kurt. It was like Kurt was some sort of planet, and Blaine couldn't help but be sucked in by the gravity.

He was in trouble and he knew it, but the only thing he could do would be to cut Kurt out of his life, and that wasn't an option. Not only because Kurt was Ali's babysitter, but because Blaine couldn't even fathom the thought of just forgetting about Kurt completely. He knew it would be impossible no matter how much of a distance he tried to put between them.

Shortly after he hung up with Kurt, Blaine heard Ali start whimpering again in her crib. He went back to her room and saw she was awake and staring at the door, waiting for Blaine. He felt her forehead, which was still warm, and picked her up. She wasn't as sweaty as before, probably because she was still in only a diaper. He put her in a thin onsie, in case she got hot again, then took her back to the living room. He sat on the couch with Ali in his lap and turned on some childrens show called Super Why! Blaine enjoyed the show way more than he probably should have, but it was entertaining and had cute music.

After that was a show called Little Einsteins and Blaine watched that with complete awe. His phones text alert went off and Blaine saw Kurt was here. He got off the couch, backing up to the door while still watching the TV and holding Ali, and pushed the buzzer for Kurt. He unlocked the door and went back over to the couch and sat to watch. Soon enough there was a light knock on the door. Blaine turned his head a little and yelled "it's open!" before turning his attention back to the television. He glanced down to see Ali was watching too, for which he was proud. He heard Kurt come in and walk over to them with a small chuckle.

"Well this is cute."

Blaine glanced up at Kurt, who yet again took his breath away. "Hey Kurt! Have you seen this show before! It's amazing."

Kurt laughed and went around the couch to sit next to Blaine. "Can't say I've watched too many childrens shows. What's it about?"

"Well these kids go on adventures, but what's amazing about it is that they use classical music and old paintings and different styles of artwork throughout the whole story. And they teach about instruments and what sounds they make. Plus they fly around in a rocketship! Now I don't know how their parents let them fly all over the world, but they use classical music Kurt!"

Kurt was trying to hold back his giggles. "Wow. You really are a music nerd aren't you?"

"Shush! This is very educational and I didn't know shows like that exsisted anymore." It was taking all of Blaine's willpower to keep looking at the TV instead of at Kurt, but he saw Kurt lean forward and grab something Blaine didn't even notice he sat down.

"One medium drip for you Mr. Music Nerd."

Blaine laughed and grabbed the cup. "Now I don't know whether to thank you or be offended."

Kurt shrugged. "Probably both."

"Well then, thank you...jerk."

Kurt laughed again and Blaine felt his heart break a little more. It was seriously the most beautiful sound he's ever heard. He turned his head away when he realized he was looking at Kurt and forced himself to be interested in the show again. It was hard with Kurt so near. He felt Ali shift on his lap and looked down to see her trying to crawl onto the couch and towards Kurt.

Kurt reached out tentatively and looked up at Blaine. "May I?"

Blaine handed Ali over with a small smile, trying not to stare at Kurt's eyes too much. "Of course. She seems to want you."

"So what's wrong with her?"

"Just a small fever. I have to keep taking her temperature to make sure it doesn't get too high."

"She seems pretty calm."

"Yeah. Ali is like that. It's like she knows when something is going on. It was like that after Cooper and Amelia...I didn't hear her make a sound for two weeks. I mean, she cried when she was hungry but other then that she stayed quiet. It was like she knew what was going on."

"Blaine? Can I ask you something?" At Blaine's nod, Kurt continued. "How did they? I mean what happened?"

Blaine took a deep breath and checked within himself to see if he was ready to talk about this. He glanced up and saw Kurt's concerned gaze and knew he could talk to Kurt about this. "Car accident. A drunk driver. They were out on a date, their first since Ali was born. They were on their way home after seeing a movie when some guy passed out at the wheel. He swerved into their lane and hit them dead on." Blaine felt his throat get tight and tried to clear it away. If he started crying in front of Kurt, there would be no stopping. "The guy wasn't wearing a seatbelt, so he flew through the windshield and crashed through the window where Amelia was sitting. They both died there. Coop..he..." Blaine couldn't continue and just shook his head. He couldn't think of what it must have been like for Cooper. Sure he was most likely out of it from all the injuries, but Blaine just knew that Cooper knew Amelia was gone. Cooper could always tell when Amelia was upset or hurt, no matter where he was or how far apart they were. It was some weird connection that Blaine was constantly jealous of, but it's what made him know that it was the reason Cooper died as soon as he was removed from Amelia's side.

Blaine felt a hand suddenly gripping his and he looked up to see Kurt looking at him with watery eyes and a sympathetic smile. He didn't say anything for which Blaine was thankful. He hated when people said "I'm sorry" because it made no difference. He gripped Kurt's hand tightly feeling incredibly comforted by the feel of his soft skin. He stared at their hands which were clasped and wanted nothing more than to open his palm and intertwine their fingers then just sit there, holding hands. But he knew that was crossing one of the lines he set up in his mind, so he just held on for as long as Kurt would let him. Then Ali was crawling along the couch and laid her head on top of their hands. Blaine smiled and used his free hand to run through her short hair.

Kurt made no move to remove his hand, so Blaine held on but still wouldn't look at Kurt. He heard Kurt clear his throat lightly before he started speaking. "My mom died when I was 8. It was a car crash too. It was raining and she just, lost control and ran into a tree. She died at the hospital with me and my dad there."

Blaine knew Kurt wasn't telling him this because he wanted sympathy in return. He knew Kurt told him because Blaine shared his story and Kurt didn't want him to feel alone. He wanted Blaine to know that he was there and he understood. Blaine gripped his hand tighter and shot Kurt a quick, thankful smile before looking away again. He didn't know how long they sat there holding hands with Ali playing with the watch on Kurt's wrist, but eventually Blaine looked up and stared Kurt in the eyes. He didn't know if it was good or bad that Kurt stared back.

"Thank you Kurt. It-it's hard for me to talk about, so thank you for listening and..sharing too."

Kurt gave his hand a final squeeze before removing his hand from Blaine's grip. Blaine suddenly felt cold and wanted to reach over and take Kurt's hand again, but he wouldn't. "You're welcome Blaine. I'm serious, I'm here if you ever need to talk."

Blaine had another one of his moment where he wanted to lean over and press his lips to Kurt's. He wanted it bad right now. He saw it clearly in his mind. With their slight height difference, Blaine would lean over and up slightly then hesitate just a moment before gently pressing his lips to Kurt's. It would be chaste, just a small amount of pressure. Then he would pull back with a shy smile and Kurt would look away while blushing lightly. Then Kurt would say something witty and they would both laugh.

Blaine saw it so clearly that it made him stand up from the couch abruptly. Kurt was looking at him curiously and Blaine began to panic. "Um. I have to..bathroom. Watch Ali for sec?" Kurt nodded and Blaine made his retreat to the bathroom.


Kurt watched with confusion as Blaine rushed to the bathroom. Just moments before he watched as Blaine seemed to have some internal struggle. After hearing Blaine's story and sharing his own, he felt somehow closer to Blaine, which he knew was bad. He told himself he wouldn't get closer, but he saw the hurt in Blaine's eyes and wanted nothing more then to help ease the pain.

Someone as nice as Blaine should never have to hurt the way he was hurting. Kurt knew what it looked like to be hiding secrets away. He's done it for years now and has mastered the ability to hide. But he saw it in Blaine's eyes. He saw the hurt there and he saw there was something else too. Something Blaine didn't want anyone to see, but he couldn't hide it from Kurt. Because he knew what it looked like. Because he was hiding so much too.

Kurt sat Ali on his lap and the little girl stared at him with far too much intensity for a baby. It was a bit unnerving, almost as if she was somehow scolding him. Like it was somehow his fault that Blaine was upset. After Blaine came back out of the bathroom, Kurt noticed the fake smile but would keep his mouth shut. If Blaine wanted to talk about whatever was bothering him, then Kurt wouldn't push.

They spent the rest of the day avoiding talking about anything emotional, sticking to lighter topics. Mostly they talked about their old Glee clubs and the shenanigans they got into. As Kurt talked about all the love triangles, Blaine looked fascinated by how such a small group of people could be filled with so much drama.

When Blaine told a story about serenading a crush at the Gap, Kurt was crying from laughter. Every time he pictured a young Blaine singing an inappropriate song, he lost it and started giggling. Blaine was laughing too and it felt so light and natural, nothing like how it felt with Lawrence. Lawrence hardly ever laughed unless it was the expense of someone else, which always made Kurt feel bad.

They never talked about Lawrence. Kurt kept wanting to ask what Lawrence had said to Blaine over the phone, and possibly apologize if needed. But something always stopped him. He didn't want to ruin the mood by bringing up his boyfriend.

Every couple of hours, Blaine would check Ali's temperature until it was completely back to normal. The little girl took many small naps throughout the day, and by the time it was afternoon, she seemed to be feeling much better. At least, she was now crawling around playing with her toys instead of insisting on sitting on either Kurt or Blaine's laps.

Before Kurt knew it, it was three o' clock and he would have to leave soon so he could be back before Lawrence got home. He didn't want to leave, especially not since Blaine had been smiling a lot more since Kurt had first gotten here. He was just conceited enough to believe he had something to do with that. He sighed when Blaine returned from putting Ali in her crib.

"I have to get going."

Blaine sighed too, but nodded. "Okay. Thanks for staying this long. I'm sure we're not the most entertaining people to spend your morning with."

"Trust me, it's a whole lot better than staying home by myself."

Blaine gestured with his head to the door and Kurt followed. Ever the gentleman, Blaine opened the door for Kurt and looked a bit torn about something. "Hey Kurt?"

"Yeah?"

"Can I...Would it be okay if I hugged you?"

"Oh." Kurt was a bit surprised that Blaine would ask, and felt himself begin to blush. "Yeah of course."

They stepped towards each other and Blaine wrapped his arms around Kurt's waist, leaving Kurt to drape his arms around Blaine's neck. Hugging Blaine was like no other hug he's had before. He felt safe and protected like he did when his dad hugged him, but there was something else too. Something warm and comfortable. He felt himself relaxing into the embrace and found he didn't want to let go. He felt Blaine relax too as he spoke.

"I just wanted to say thanks Kurt. You really made me feel better today. So thank you."

Kurt's voice came out soft, almost a whisper. "You're welcome. I'm glad I could help."

Blaine seemed to realize they were still hugging and pulled away. Kurt suddenly felt cold and could feel his skin tingling where Blaine had just been. They both blushed and looked away before Kurt placed his hand on Blaine's shoulder, needed just a little more contact. "And I'll be here whenever if you need to talk. Call whenever you need, no matter the time, kay?"

The smile that Blaine gave Kurt made his heart melt. "Kay. Thanks again Kurt. I'll talk to you soon?"

"Yeah. Yeah, soon." He made to leave, but turned around once more to see Blaine's smile. "Bye Blaine."

"See ya later Kurt."

Kurt nodded then turned to walk away, wanting nothing more than to just look back just once more. His body was still tingling and felt warm as if he could still feel where Blaine was pressed against him just moments ago. Although he had been trying with all his might to not let himself, Kurt was definitely falling in love with Blaine Anderson.

End Notes: Those kids shows are real and actually quite entertaining. Don't judge me.

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lol they are :) i like this chapter, can't wait til Kurt gets rid of that boyfriend of his

Aww I love this song, I can totally picture Blaine holding Ali and singing to her. Ugh soo sweet!