Aug. 23, 2012, 10:41 a.m.
With You in Your Dreams : Chapter 9
T - Words: 4,585 - Last Updated: Aug 23, 2012 Story: Complete - Chapters: 18/18 - Created: Aug 23, 2012 - Updated: Aug 23, 2012 1,112 0 2 1 0
The next couple of weeks passed in the same manner. Kurt would come over once a week and spend an entire day with Blaine and Ali. No matter what Blaine had tried to tell himself, he had gotten really close with Kurt. He had never met anyone as fascinating as Kurt was, and it blew his mind that he would even want to associate with someone like Blaine. His tiny crush had turned into full fledged adoration, and he could not get enough.
Blaine wanted to be even more selfish and ask Kurt over more, but something was holding him back. Some part of himself was still trying to protect his heart from getting torn to pieces. Every so often he would think of Kurt's boyfriend, and the depression would return in full force. They never talked about Lawrence. No matter how many times Blaine wanted to ask.
But he was noticing things.
He noticed how stressed Kurt would look in the mornings when he first got to Blaine's, but then would almost instantly relax once he stepped inside. He noticed how whenever Lawrence would call or text, Kurt would immediately have to leave. Blaine found that strange, but what was even more strange was how frantic Kurt became after those calls. Blaine knew something was up, but he was always too afraid to ask because he didn't want to intrude. They had gotten close, so if Kurt was having troubles with his relationship, he would talk to Blaine right? Blaine told Kurt almost everything about himself, shouldn't Kurt feel safe enough to do the same?
Finally, it was the night before Blaine's classes started again. To say Blaine was freaking out was a bit of an understatement. He wasn't nervous for his classes, he's always been good at school. He was nervous about leaving Ali. He trusted Kurt, and knew he wouldn't let anything happen to his goddaughter, but he couldn't help but be scared. He called Kurt to make sure everything was all set for the morning, even though they already talked about this the day before. Blaine felt instantly calmed when he heard Kurt chuckle in his ear.
"Blaine. Stop freaking out. I will be there by 8 o' clock."
"I know I know. I'm sorry. It's just.."
"I know Blaine."
"And you have the key?" Blaine had gotten his spare key back from Wes and given it to Kurt, so it would be easier for him to get into the building. He felt a weird thrill when he had given Kurt the key, but quickly tried to stifle his wierd excitement.
"Yes Blaine. I put it on my keychain with all my other keys. Okay, is Ali asleep?"
"Yes?"
"Stop pacing. And don't pretend like you're not. I can practically see you."
Damn him. Blaine was indeed pacing his living room. He stopped and was about to lift his hand to run through his hair when Kurt stopped him."And put your hand down, you're gonna pull all your hair out before you're twenty-five."
Blaine froze. "Okay seriously, did you put a camera in here sometime? That's creepy Kurt."
"No. I know you. Also you're predictable."
"Okay sensei Kurt, I've stopped pacing and am not pulling out my hair. Any other words of wisdom?" Blaine smiled when Kurt started laughing. God he loved that sound.
"Glad to hear you're taking this seriously. Yes. Sit your butt down, put your feet up and turn to the Lifetime channel."
"The Lifetime channel? Kurt, you're not gonna make me watch one of those movies that looks terrible but will most likely end up making me cry like a baby, are you?"
"Ha! No. Project Runway marathon. And it's one of the early seasons, back when it was good. You are gonna watch with me and relax for once."
Blaine did as he was told, sitting down and turning his TV on. It was a nice change from the kids shows that he constantly had on. "Hey! I remember this season! I had a huge crush on that Nick guy! What season is this?"
"Season 2, and what! No no no. Daniel was the cutest. And I loved his stuff. Wait. You used to watch this show?"
"Of course I did! I'm a whore for TV show competitions! Well, I used to be, mostly I watch cartoons now and- Hey! What's so funny?" Kurt had suddenly started cracking up and Blaine didn't understand what was so funny.
"Oh. Nothing, nothing. I just- oh god- using the word 'whore' to describe yourself is just hilarious to me."
"What. Why?"
"Oh come on! Blaine Anderson, the most gentlemanly gentleman there ever was. The word 'whore' just does not compute with me."
Blaine was smiling but tried to sound offended. "Hey, I am college student. You didn't know me before Ali, maybe I was a super giant whore. Hey! Stop laughing!" Kurt had actually snorted over the phone and Blaine thought it was adorable, even though he thought he should probably start getting more offended.
"I'm sorry , I'm sorry. Oh I can't breathe." Kurt sniffled and took a few breaths then spoke in a mock serious voice that Blaine could tell was ready to crack again. "Tell me Blaine, were you a wild party boy that slept around with all the closeted frat boys?"
Blaine could feel the conversation was about to take a turn from playful to serious because he felt himself getting ready to ask about the boyfriend. "Maybe I was."
"But you weren't."
"But I wasn't."
There was a pause then Blaine took a deep breath, pushing all the teasing away. "Kurt. I think we need to have a serious discussion."
"Sounds ominous."
"No, it's okay. I just wanted to ask you something."
"...Okay? Go ahead?"
Kurt sounded nervous and Blaine was glad he wasn't the only one. "I was just wondering why you never talk about your...boyfriend."
A pause then, "That wasn't a question."
"Right. So, um, why?"
"You never asked?"
Blaine was running his hand through his hair now and felt the urge to pace. "Right, I know but I didn't want to seem like...I don't know. But, we're...friends right? Friends talk about their significant others. And I guess I'm asking now."
"I...suppose."
"Um, well, how long have you two been together?"
"About a year."
Blaine could tell Kurt was uncomfortable, but he couldn't figure out why. "Wow. That's a long time. And you live with him?"
"Yes."
Blaine sighed. Kurt wasn't going to offer up any information for Blaine to be able to get to the bottom of their relationship. "Listen, you don't have to talk about this if you don't want to. I just- I don't know."
"It's fine Blaine. Um, we met at a party a friend of mine was having. He's going to NYU too, for architecture. "
Blaine had no idea what to even say to that. He somewhat regretted asking, but Kurt didn't even sound remotely excited to be talking about Lawrence. "So have you done the whole, meeting the families thing?"
"Uhh." If Blaine thought Kurt sounded uncomfortable before, it was nothing to how it was now. "Uh, no- no. Well, he's met my step brother. But that's about it."
"Kurt, are you okay?"
"Hmm? Y-yeah. I, uh, It's just that- Um. Lawrence isn't...out yet."
"He- Kurt how old is Larry?"
"Lawrence. He hates being called Larry. And he's my age."
"And he's not out."
Kurt sighed. "It's...complicated. His dad-"
"Believe me, I know all about tough dads, why do you think I've never talked about my dad. Still, I've never hid who I was."
"It's different with-"
"You live together, what does he tell his family? Don't they ever visit?" Blaine was getting angry for some reason, and he hated Larry even more now. He knew if he had someone as amazing as Kurt, he would want to show him off to the world. To show every person he knew the amazing boy he was lucky enough to call his.
"I-when they come, I uh, I leave until they-"
"So you're telling me, that when his family visits, you have to leave your own home so they don't see you?"
"Blaine, why are you getting so angry?"
"Because Kurt, you shouldn't have to be hidden! You're too...too special for that."
Blaine was pacing his apartment now, picking things up only to place them in the same exact spot. Kurt wasn't saying anything, but he could hear his heavy breathing, or maybe that was Blaine. Then he froze, finally realizing what he just said. Crap.
"I'm sorry Kurt. I- I need to go. I'll see you in the morning." He hung up without even waiting for a response from Kurt. He picked up a pillow from the couch and chucked it at the door. He was such an idiot and probably just ruined things with Kurt. It was good he hung up when he did, otherwise he probably would have told Kurt just how much he liked him.
Kurt was still sitting with the phone to his ear, slow tears falling down his face. Not tears of sadness though. Blaine had called him special. Nobody, besides his dad of course, had ever said he was special. He could tell by the way Blaine said it that he meant it. Then he thought about how angry Blaine had sounded after Kurt told him about Lawrence, and what was that about? He looked around his apartment as if he was seeing it for the first time. For as much as he loved interior design, there was absolutely nothing in this flat that was his, besides his clothes in the closet.
He had thought it was because Lawrence was even more of an interior design nut than he was, but he knew the reason now. It was just another way to hide Kurt's presence. There were no pictures of them sitting out, Kurt's clothes were pushed to the back of the closet, and none of his toiletries could be left out, not even his toothbrush. Kurt knew he never really meant a whole lot to Lawrence, but he had always tried to make him care.
Especially in the beginning. Lawrence was the first guy to ever show actual interest in Kurt. He was sweet and made Kurt laugh and Kurt was constantly trying to prove he was good enough. He tried so hard to make Lawrence love him. Sure, they said the words, but Kurt had never actually felt it. At the time he thought he really did love Lawrence, but now he was comparing everything to how he felt when he was with Blaine. It may not be love yet, but it was already a better feeling then the one he had with Lawrence.
Kurt knew he needed out, he just had no clue how to get out. He had nowhere to go. He didn't have his own money yet to be able to get a place. He alienated all his friends after all the times he ditched them so he wouldn't make Lawrence mad. Speaking of getting Lawrence mad, he would be furious if Kurt tried to leave him and the thought made Kurt a little nervous. Not scared. He knew Lawrence would never physically hurt him, but sometimes his anger got a little scary.
Kurt made a plan though. He would start saving up money and looking for the cheapest place he could afford. He didn't care how rundown it was as long as it was away from Lawrence. Moving his stuff out would be easy, since he owned so little. He looked at the clock and realized it was already nine o' clock. Lawrence would probably be home soon, maybe he could slip into bed early and pretend to be asleep. Just as he closed the bathroom door, he heard the front door opened and sighed. Well, so much for that plan.
"Kurt baby? Where are you?"
"Bathroom! Be out in a minute!" He rolled his eyes, their flat only had two rooms and obviously Kurt wasn't in the main room. Idiot. He took his time getting ready for bed, hoping Lawrence would just pass out. Kurt knew he had been out having a few drinks, even though Lawrence didn't tell him so, it was the only reason he wasn't home for dinner. Finally, without anymore reason to stall, he left the bathroom. And walked straight into Lawrence.
"Jesus Lawrence! Why are you standing right outside the bathroom, are you trying to give me heart failure?"
"I missed you."
Kurt cringed internally debating on if it was worth starting a fight so he didn't have to have sex. He just didn't want to be tired in the morning. Sure he may not love him, but he couldn't deny they had a good sex life. It was probably the only good thing in their relationship. Lawrence stepped closer, wrapping his arms around Kurt's waist and resting his hands on his ass. Kurt kept his arms at his sides and inhaled, "Smells like you've been drinking."
"Mmm. Went out with my old roommates."
"Thanks for inviting me along."
Lawrence stepped back and glared at Kurt. Perfect. "It wasn't really your scene babe."
"Oh. So you went to a rich bar and didn't want to be seen with someone so common as me?"
"Kurt."
Kurt stopped at the warning tone and stared, waiting for Lawrence to talk. "Kurt baby, you know it's not like that. You're not common. You're my Kurt and you are way too good for those people."
Kurt wanted to roll his eyes, Lawrence sure was laying it on thick. Maybe if he just told Lawrence he was tired. It was worth a shot. He leaned up and pressed his lips to Lawrence's. "Babe, I'm really tired and need to get up early. Can we just go to bed? And don't you have breakfest tomorrow with your boss?" He prayed that was tomorrow.
"Crap. Yes that is in the morning. Yeah. We should go to bed. Let me brush my teeth. You get in bed. And lose the clothes, I still want you naked." And with a final smack on Kurt's ass, Lawrence stepped into the bathroom. Kurt sighed and made his way to the bed, stripping down then climbing in. Luckily, he learned to fall asleep quickly so before Lawrence even returned, Kurt was already asleep.
Kurt woke up the next morning to the sound of his alarm. He quickly shut it off and slowly removed himself from Lawrence's grip. Once he was eased out of the bed he quietly sprinted to the bathroom. It was alway cold in their flat in the morning, and Kurt didn't have anything on to cover himself. He quickly showered and finished getting ready, hoping to leave before Lawrence fully woke up.
For once, his plan actually worked and he was ready to leave before his boyfriend woke. He reset the alarm clock so he would wake up in ten more minutes, then quickly wrote a goodbye note on their marker board on the fridge. He left earlier then he needed, but that gave him plenty of time to pick up some coffee and breakfast for him and Blaine.
He smiled to himself as he made his way to the subway. He could already hear Blaine in his head, calling him a lifesaver and giving him that smile that made Kurt's heart melt. He made it to Blaine's coffee shop, which had quickly become his coffee shop as well. All the baristas knew him by name now and he didn't have to put in his order, they just knew.
Coffees in hand, he made his way down the block Blaine's apartment building. He felt a strange thrill when he used the key to enter the building but tried to ignore it. He wasn't really sure what to do once he got to Blaine's door though. He assumed the key was just to get into the building. He raised his hand and knocked lightly, in case Ali was sleeping. Moments later, the door was opened, and Blaine's tired face appeared. Without saying anything, Kurt held up the coffee and there it was...that smile.
"Lifesaver."
Kurt laughed and stepped inside, finally noticing Blaine was still in sweatpants. "Did you just wake up?"
"Mhhm." Blaine flopped on the couch and closed his eyes. Kurt stood there a bit awkwardly. He had never been here this early and it was still dark out, and it was dark in the apartment, the only light coming from the hall by the door. He felt weird sitting next to Blaine, as if the lighting would make him a different person.
Blaine turned his head and saw Kurt still standing there in the middle of the room. He patted the couch next to him and mumbled, "you can sit. Turn on the tv if you want."
Kurt smiled and shook his head, he was being ridiculous. He sat next to Blaine, but was sure to keep his distance. "Shouldn't you be getting ready to leave?"
"Kurt. It's college. An early morning class. I could go like this and nobody would care." Blaine looked over and started laughing at the offended look Kurt was wearing. "Okay okay okay. I'll go put on something presentable, happy?"
Kurt nodded and smiled a little when Blaine stumbled his way back to his bedroom. It was the one room Kurt had never been in, and the curiosity had been killing him. There was always something so personal about someone's bedroom and he wanted to see what Blaine's room said about him. It wasn't creepy. No it was not. Okay, maybe just a little. But at least he wasn't thinking about being in Blaine's room withBlaine. Oh crap, now he was.
Thankfully, he heard Ali start to cry from the other room. Saved by the baby. He stood and made to go to her room when Blaine stumbled out, toothbrush in mouth. "Wait! She's not ready to wake up yet!"
"But she's crying..."
"No. Just give her the pacifier and she'll go back to sleep. When she's actually ready to get up, she'll start talking."
Kurt smiled at Blaine, it really was sweet how in tune he was to Ali. He nodded once to let Blaine know he understood before he went to do as Blaine instructed. Sure enough, she fell right back asleep. It was almost comical how she was flailing around the bed, but then suddenly passed back out as soon as she had her pacifier.
He returned to the living room just as Blaine walked out of his room, fully dressed. They stared at each other for a moment, then Blaine did a little twirl. "Is this okay sir?"
Kurt raised his eyebrow then walked forward, making a slow circle around Blaine. He was looking at the clothes. Just the clothes. That's all. Oh who was he kidding. Blaine was wearing clothes that were far too tight, not that Kurt was complaining. "I approve. Though, I don't think I've ever seen you wear socks. Do you own any?"
Blaine laughed and was blushing after Kurt's scrutiny. "I own some yes, but my feet get claustrophobic, so I prefer not wearing any."
"Your feet get...oh my gosh you are such a dork." An adorable dork, Kurt added in his head. He went and sat down so he wouldn't openly stare at Blaine anymore.
"Wait! I totally forgot the best part of the outfit! Hang on!" Blaine scrambled back to his room then came back a few minutes later, adorned with a bowtie. Kurt couldn't help but smile, it really made Blaine look young but he somehow made it work. Kurt nodded his approval. "Adorable. Now get out of here before you're late."
It was then that Kurt realized Blaine was stalling. He stood and went to Blaine, putting his hands on his shoulders. "Blaine. Ali will be fine. I promise I will not let anything bad happen to her. You can trust me. I promise. Take a deep breath. Then leave. I have my phone. You can call if you want to between classes. Calm down."
Blaine visibly relaxed under Kurt's touch. He was freaking out. He hadn't been away from Ali for longer than an hour or so since he was in Ohio. "I do trust you Kurt. I do. It's just...I'm just.."
"Nervous."
"Yes."
Kurt nodded and gave Blaine a small smile. "I swear Blaine. Nothing will happen to your little girl. I care for her too. I'm not just some babysitter. I'm your friend too and I will do everything my power to make sure she's safe."
Blaine smiled and definitely wanted to kiss Kurt right now. "Thank you Kurt. I'll...I'll just go."
"Yes. You go. And don't worry, you'll get wrinkles and go prematurely grey."
Blaine laughed then went to Ali's room. He bent in her crib and kissed her forhead with a whispered, "I will be back later Angel. I promise." It was time to leave. His Ali would be safe with Kurt. Everything was going to be okay.
Kurt all but shoved Blaine out the door. Once he was gone, Kurt turned to face the room. Over the past couple weeks he'd been secretly making up sketches for ways to rearrange the room. He figured since Ali was asleep, he'd get started with the little things. He took all the books off the shelves and put them on the dinning table, along with all other knick knacks. Then he got to work.
Four more hours. Four hours, then he would be back with Ali and Kurt. About halfway to school that morning, Blaine started freaking out with worry. He already had a feeling he would be texting Kurt all day long for updates. In his worry frazzled mind, he didn't realize he was running late. Well, that was a good way to start a school year.
He made it to class in time and picked a seat in the back so he would be able to check his phone if needed. It was then that he remembered his phone conversation with Kurt from the night before. Well, obviously Kurt was choosing to ignore it, so he would do the same. He spent most of the night in utter embarrasment and he wasn't ready to return to that.
About halfway through his first class, he felt his pocket buzz and he hurried to check it. It was a picture message from Kurt. He clicked it and smiled when he saw it was a picture of Ali with her face covered in food. Instantly Blaine knew what Kurt was doing. He was sending a picture to put Blaine's mind at ease. It worked. Seeing Ali with a big smile on her face and completely 100% safe put his mind much more at ease.
For the rest of the day, every couple of hours, Kurt would send him another picture of Ali. Blaine's favorite so far was one where Kurt was in it. He didn't know what was happening, but in the picture both Kurt and Ali were laughing. Probably because Ali had her little hand covering Kurt's eye. Still, it was adorable and Blaine immediately set it as his phone's background.
The rest of his classes passed quickly, but not quickly enough for Blaine. He wanted to get home, so he took a cab home instead of the subway. He couldn't stand the thought of waiting in an elevator, so he sprinted up the stairs. Once he opened door he immediately started backing out. He was sure he was in the wrong place. He checked the number on the door and it was the number of his apartment.
Blaine stood in the doorway, frozen and blinking slowly. Then Kurt appeared from the kitchen with a huge smile. "You're early! I was gonna put a big red bow on the door."
"Kurt- what.."
"Do- Do you like it? I wasn't kidding when I said I wanted to redecorate."
Blaine looked around. Honestly, the place looked amazing. He would have never believed this was his apartment. "Kurt. It looks amazing, but...how?"
Kurt was reliefed, he was worried Blaine didn't like it. "Well, I did most of it while Ali was sleeping. Then I did the smaller things while she played. She pretty independent for a seven month old."
"Yeah she is. She's sleeping now?" Kurt nodded and Blaine walked over to where his bookshelf was now located. "Kurt...did you...Are these organized by the Dewey Decimal System?" Kurt blushed and nodded shyly. Blaine laughed then walked forward and hugged Kurt tightly, even picking him up and spinning him around once. "You are amazing! I can't believe you did all this! Did you have someone over to help?"
"No. I'm not gonna invite someone over to your apartment Blaine."
"But...that sofa is ridiculously heavy. There's no way you did that by yourself."
"Never underestimate my determination."
"Noted."
Blaine released Kurt and smiled at him. Then he looked around the rest of the room. It didn't even look like the same apartment. Everything flowed so much better and there was even a little space for all Ali's toys to be neatly organized. "Seriously Kurt. Amazing. Thank you. You really didn't have to do this. But thank you."
Kurt smiled and blushed some more, then turned serious. "Blaine. We need to have a serious discussion."
Blaine froze. There was reference to their conversation from last night, but Blaine could see the playful glint in Kurt's eye. He would play along. "Sounds ominous."
Kurt looked pleased. "Come with me." Kurt grabbed Blaine's wrist and led him...oh crap he was heading to Blaine's room. Breath Blaine. Breeaatthhee. Kurt walked in like he owned the place and stopped in front of Blaine's dresser. Blaine was confused. "Uh?"
"Blaine. It's okay to admit you have a problem."
"Kurt. What are you-"
"Bowties, Blaine."
Blaine looked down at his display cases, still confused. "What about them?"
Kurt sighed. "You left your door cracked this morning, Ali crawled in and I followed and saw this. You have display cases for your bowties!"
"So?"
"How many do you have?" Blaine made a face and Kurt stared. "Don't pretend like you don't know the exact number."
"You said my bowtie was adorable this morning!"
"Yes. Your one bowtie. Now how many are there?" Blaine mumbled something and turned away from Kurt. "How many Blaine?"
Blaine sighed and touched the nearest case. "Sixty-two."
"Sixt- Wow. Just..Wow. Just out curiosity...why?"
"I like them!"
"Okay. Why the display case?"
"Because,um, because it looks neat?"
"You are such a dork."
"An adorable dork though, right?" Kurt ruffled Blaine's hair and walked out of the bedroom without saying anything. Blaine chased after him. "Right Kurt? I'm adorable right? Right right right right right right right?"
"God yes fine! You're adorable. And are also apparently a five year old."
Blaine grinned and Kurt couldn't help but smile back. "Right. Ali's been sleeping for about thirty minutes. I have..hang on." He went and picked something up off the table. "Here. I made a chart of what we did today. When she ate and napped and diaper changes and things."
Blaine looked at the chart in amazement. Kurt was literally perfect. "Kurt this is...thank you."
"You're welcome."
They stood and smiled at each other for a few moments before Kurt's phone beeped. He sighed, knowing who it was. Sure enough, it was Lawrence asking where Kurt was. "I gotta go."
Blaine was angry again, thinking about Kurt's boyfriend. "Kay. Thanks again Kurt, seriously for everything." And because he couldn't resist, he pulled Kurt in for another hug. "You are amazing Kurt I'm so glad you're watching Ali."
Kurt stepped back, blushing and and smiling. "You're welcome Blaine. I'm glad I'm watching Ali too. I, uh, I'll see you in the morning!"
"Right. Morning." Ali started crying so Blaine couldn't walk Kurt to the door like he usually did. "Okay. Bye Kurt."
"See ya!"
They smiled at each other once more then both turned to go in opposite directions. Blaine smiled as he picked up Ali. "Hey baby girl. I missed you today. Did you have fun with Kurt?" Of course she didn't answer, but she was looking over Blaine's shoulder and Blaine had a feeling she was looking for Kurt. He already heard the door close, so he knew Kurt was gone. "I know baby girl. I miss him too."
Comments
Ok, so I understand a bit more now how Kurt can be with "Larry" (haha) but still. He's such a jerk.
aww. this last scene wiith blaine ans ali made me melt. i need klaine now!!!!!! lol