"Blaine, what happened? "

"K—u-u—r—t—t …" Blaine voice cracked, at Kurt's horror. It was all tears and moans in the other side of the line.

"It's ok I'm here… don't worry I'm not gonna hang up. Now tell me what happened Blaine…" Kurt said in voice that he wanted comforting. He no longer cared that he was supposed to be mad at Blaine or that he shouldn't care any longer about anything that was related to him, because he just couldn't ignore now his sobs and his pain. But if it was only fair for Blaire to suffer as much as he did, though a little voice in Kurt's head, but he couldn't listen to it now. Not when Blaine was suffering, not when he was crying, not when every fiber in Kurt's body wanted to jump across the phone and took the poor man in his arms. Not now. Now, it was all about Blaine.

"It's Lisa… she… I …" blubbered Blaine

"What Blaine?" urged Kurt

"It's Lisa… OH MY GOD!" Blaine was suddenly screaming, and he heard in the background sounds of cars slowing down and people shouting and swearing.

"Blaine, Blaine… are you ok? Blaine…" Kurt panicked

"Yeah… I'm fine…"

"Blaine if you're driving, pull over please. You can't drive like that. Not when you're so upset. Please stop," pleaded Kurt

"Ok… Ok, I'm stopping. I can't anymore…. Kurt, I c-a-a-a-n-n' t!"

"Ok, Blaine. Please breath. Breath for me Blaine, will you? Can you do that for me Blaine?"

"Ok…. " Blaine started taking some steady breaths, one mouthful or air after an other, making Kurt relax a little bit, and giving him the time to think. Dear lord, what had had happened to Blaine? He was apparently fine physically, but what it something happened to his wife, or worse, he little girl? He knew Blaine was unhappy but still he must have loved his daughter, like any father would. Kurt hoped that it had nothing to do with that, because as much as he hated the idea of Blaine having a family with an other woman, he couldn't either wish them bad. He wasn't cruel, and he loved kids. It would break Blaine's heart, and as much as he hated to admit it, it would break his own. Because Blaine and him were connected. They were two half of a whole. If one broke, the other one wouldn't survive.

"OK, it's better now" finally said Blaine, who frankly didn't sound any better. But really how could he be? "Thank you Kurt for not hanging up on me"

"I couldn't if I tried" confessed Kurt slowly. " Now, tell me what's going on before I loose it Blaine."

"Lisa…. Dianna…" and his voice broke once again.

"Are they… are they ok.. have they been in a accident… talk to me Blaine!" Kurt shouted in fear

"No… no accident… they're fine… "

That made Kurt relax for a second. But only for a second, because as the words begun to sink in, he realized that if it wasn't them who were harmed, then it must Blaine. And that he couldn't handle. He couldn't even think about it.

"Blaine … are… are … you… hurt?" finally managed to say Kurt, in a whisper

"No…." Kurt relaxed at once, but his mind didn't. Because something was still wrong. "Not physically… "

"What do you mean Blaine?" Kurt knew what it meant, but he had to ask. He didn't know what to say other than that. Like his mind had suddenly been turned off.

"Kurt…. I'm sorry…. I shouldn't have called you… I'm gonna leave you…." cried Blaine

"No Blaine, just…."

"No Kurt, it's not fair to you", somehow his voice was more ensured than before, "I shouldn't… you shouldn't… I have no right…"

"BLAINE, SHUT UP!" yelled Suddenly Kurt, which surprised not only Blaine who gasped in shock, but Kurt himself. Obviously he had lost his mind. But then again, he knew that already. "Blaine just shut up ok ? I'm here for you, and I'm not leaving you. the rest doesn't matter. Right now, all that matters, is you. "

"T-h-a-a-a-n-n-k you… " sobbed Blaine

"It's ok, Blaine, it's gonna be ok" Kurt was reassuring him as if he was addressing a 5 years old." Just tell me where you are, ok? Tell me, please…"

"I'm in my car, I pulled over like you-u-u told m-e-e…"

"Blaine, please look around, just tell me where you are…" urged Kurt

"I'm in…. in front of a Starbucks…. Summer Street, I think… I'm parked just in front…"

"Blaine, tell me what you car look like…."

"I'm in black Volvo, there's a sticker on the back window… yellow… says "baby on board"" His voice broke down once again, and Kurt could tell that he wasn't even trying breath.

"Blaine, please, Calm down" begged Kurt, on the edge of crying. But he couldn't, he wouldn't allow himself to do so. Not now, anyway. Now he had to be strong for Blaine.

"Blaine, please, calm down. Listen to me, don't move, ok? Don't move from where you are… ok? I'm gonna get you help. I'll call you back ok? "

"Kurt!" Blaine shouted

"I'm not going to leave you, Blaine, ok? Listen to me, I really need to talk to… just stay there and breath ok? Do that for me Blaine, will you? For me?"

"Y-e-e-e-s ….."finally managed to say Blaine

"Ok, Blaine, 2 seconds and I'll be right back to you" Kurt though for a second, of how much their words, now and previously in the conversation, had a deep meaning. How much implications they were holding. But he tried to shake these thoughts of his mind. It wasn't the time. Not at all. "Just answer when I call back, ok?"

"Of c-o-o-u-u-r-s-s-e…"

That was pretty much what Kurt could handle in one single conversation. If he hadn't hung up the phone, he wouldn't have been able to not cry. To hold it. But as much as he wanted to, now, it wasn't the time either. So he searched his phone for the number that hold his hopes and dialed it. He wouldn't think of the possibility that they would be asleep. It was too much. But after few seconds, someone finally answered. Kurt let down a sigh, he didn't know he was holding, before speaking.

"Quinn?"

"Mhm… who's that" Phil answered. But it looked like he wasn't really paying attention to it. Kurt heard some heavy noises in the background, people talking and laughing. Apparently a party was going on. Great.

"Phil, It's me Kurt" answered Kurt, trying his best to not get mad

"Kurt?" asked Phil, his tone still absent. Kurt heard than Phil Chuckle, and say something like "good one, mate" to somebody that he couldn't hear.

"Phil!" shouted Kurt, who didn't cared anymore about being rude or not. " Phil focus, It's me Kurt, the guy who practically help deliver your only child! Kurt the gay, gayer than the 4th of July!"

"Bloody! I'm sorry Kurt" finally snapped in Phil " what's happening?"

"It's ok Phil, is Quinn here? Can you get her on the phone for me?"

"all right mate. Is everything ok? You seem upset…"

Understatement of the year, though Kurt, who let out a small hysterical chuckle. Clearly he had lost it.

"It's nothing… I mean… it's a emergency but I'm fine… it's a friend… he's hurt… "

"One of the new directions? That's what you guys call each other, right?" asked Phil.

"Oh god" thought Kurt "This guy is going to be the death of me. He's even slower than Finn if it's possible!"

"Phil, Just Get Quinn, ok?" Kurt hissed

"Oh sorry, ok… 2 seconds"

Kurt heard Phil call his wife into the phone, and after what seemed to Kurt like a lifetime, he finally heard the familiar voice of his friend.

"Kurt? Are you ok? Phil says it's a emergency" said Quinn dumbfounded, as if she didn't really believed her husband.

"Quinn, I'm sorry to call this late… I know you have a party and all … but…"

"Kurt, are you ok? Are you crying Kurt?" said suddenly Quinn in a urgent voice " What happened"

"It's Blaine…" Kurt finally broke down in tears. He wasn't able to hold it anymore. He was just glad he did it talking to Quinn, not to Blaine. Not that it was fair to her either. But he couldn't anymore. Saying his name, remembering his pain, his cries, it was all too much.

"Babe, don't cry. Shhhh, it's ok, Kurt" tried to comfort him Quinn. He wished at that instant, that he could hug her. Find comfort in her friend. Hold on tight and don't let go. And then he remembered why. Because of Blaine. Blaine, who was freaking out, hurt, in a car, somewhere in the night, lost in Boston. No, he couldn't cry now. Blaine needed him not to. Somehow it helped him settle down a bit. Just enough so he could explain himself to Quinn, hoping that she would actually be willing to help him.

"Quinn, It's Blaine" said again Kurt, with a steadier voice. Yes, you can do it, said the man to himself.

"Kurt, I….I know I said I would listen to you whenever… but…"

"Quinn, it's not that" cut Kurt "He called me, I think… he's hurt… well not physically… but he couldn't say a thing… he just said something about his wife and daughter… I don't know Quinn… he was crying so much… "

"Oh my god, Kurt" whispered Quinn in horror

"He was driving… I made him park… He couldn't drive… he wasn't in the right state… you think you could…"

"Don't worry Kurt, I'll got get him and bring him home" replied Quinn, with a tone that wasn't subject to discussion

"Thank you Quinn… I know you don't understand… But Blaine…" tried to explain Kurt

"Don't" cut Quinn "don't justify anything to me… You have your reasons… it's enough for me, I trust you"

"Thank you Quinn" said Kurt relieved. He didn't how he could have explained it to her, when it didn't even made sense to him. But Quinn understood, and better than him, he could tell.

"Anything, anytime, you know that. But, Kurt… Should I bring Phil?"

"Yes, If you don't mind… I think it's best…"

"Ok… I'll leave Lea with my parents and we'll go right now"

"Oh my, I'm sorry Quinn… I only though about me! The baby! Is she ok? I didn't even ask ! I'm sorry Quinn, you shouldn't leave her… I'm going to find someone else…" said Kurt suddenly very ashamed of himself; How could he have forgotten that Quinn just had a baby, and therefore had enough troubles and drama, without him calling her in indecent hours, rambling about Blaine. What kind of friend, was he? Maybe the type that would forget about a friend's life when his other friend was hurt. Wait, was Blaine a friend? What was Blaine to him? Besides, was he even hurt?

But Kurt didn't go far in his nonsense though, when Quinn cut him once again.

"Kurt, she's fine, stop worrying. And I'm not mad at you. You have every right to be worried when Blaine is… hurt. I'm having dinner with my whole family right now, so I think there are more than 10 people perfectly capable to handle her for an hour. Just tell me where he is, and I'll got get him."

"Thank you, Quinn" said Kurt, still filing guilty and ashamed. But he gave her all the indications that Blaine had given him earlier.

"I know where it is. I won't take long. 15 minutes top. I'll call you when we have him. Kurt, it's ok going to be ok. I promise"

And the line shut down.

No, it wasn't going to be ok.

After Quinn hung up, Kurt took a second to make his breathing even. He didn't want to scare Blaine more than he was, or worry him. "You can do it", Kurt kept saying to himself. "You can. Just a few more minutes. Breath. Just like that. You can. Yes, you did. Ok just stay calm, and then you can call him. Yeah, good job. Breath"

"Kurt?" Blaine had answer before Kurt could even hear it ring

"Blaine, It's going to be ok. Quinn is coming to get you"

"Quinn?"

"Yes, Quinn. You remember her right?"

"Yes…"

"OK she's coming with her husband, Phil. You're going home with them, ok, Blaine?"

"Kurt.. I don't want… burden…sorry…" that's all Kurt could comprehend with Blaine sobbing

"Nonsense Blaine, They are coming and there is nothing you can about it. Understood?"

"Y-y-y-e-e-e-s-s-s…."

"Ok, Blaine. Just breath ok? They are coming soon. I have to take care of something. I'm going to hung up, but I promise Blaine, It's going to be ok." It wasn't a lie. It was just a foolish hope that he had to hold on too. That Blaine had to believe. Otherwise, he wouldn't be able to go one anymore. He had to believe. That's all was left.

"Ok, thank you Kurt" finally said Blaine.

"Ok, I'll talk to you very soon." And he hung up.

Now, he could let go. And he did.

*********

He didn't know how long he stayed curled up in the sofa, sobbing his heart out, shaking with all his core, wanting no more than soft arms to hold him safe and tell him that everything would be ok. That Blaine would be ok. That HE would be ok. He knew he had to drive to Boston, as soon as possible, to make sure everything was fine, to be there for Blaine, to relieve the burden from Quinn's shoulders. But who was going to relieve his own burden? The own he was holding for 5 years now. The one that always pressured his heart, made him squeeze, even in the most joyful times? He never was fully able to be happy, or to laugh properly without the constant reminder that was the hole in his heart. He eventually didn't mind that much after a while, but it never really faded away. And now it was back. The hole, so deep and profound. It ate him completely. Enveloped him as a shadow of pain and misery. As a cloud of despair.

But in the same time, and that was new to him, there was hope. He didn't know where it came from, but it was there. Hope of what? He didn't know, he didn't understood, but it was fully consuming him as much as the pain. And the hope seemed to materialize into one little beeping.

He stood up suddenly as if nothing happened for the past minutes, and reached his phone on the living room table. Even thought his hands were still shaking, but it felt like it was more excitement than anything else. Not that it made any sense to him. He wasn't able to hold steady his phone in his arms, and dropped him and the floor. This wasn't good; he had such a steady grip usually. It really bothered him more than anything else. Maybe it was because he was thinking that if he couldn't hold his phone without falling apart, how could he hold Blaine?

So he took a deep breath once again, and focused on stopping the shaking of his hands, his whole body actually before doing anything else. It took him several mouthful of air but he eventually managed to shudder a bit less. That's all he needed really. So he reached for his phone and opened finally the text.

We got him. It's going to be alright. We are on way home. Call when you can. Q

Oh god, thank you! Thank you! It was all Kurt could think about right now. Not that he truly believed in god, but this experience might prove him wrong. But he didn't really care about that. He read again Quinn's text and his last phrase: "call when you can". He couldn't suppress the little grin that spread on his face. Of course Quinn knew him so well. She knew that he would collapse as soon as he would hung up. And she wanted to give him time. She knew how much he hated to show his weaknesses to anybody, how much he couldn't bear to let anyone see him cry. Anyone but Blaine. He was really the only one he could truly open himself to, let himself really go with. And Blaine was so strong. He never cried. He always held Kurt. But tonight, Blaine cried. Blaine opened himself to Kurt for the first time really. And it had meant a lot to him, more than he could actually explain. Because Blaine wasn't pretending anymore, not for Kurt anyway. Not that he had before, but it was so much more. And Kurt knew that. He knew that Blaine had been holding so much inside, that this time he just couldn't do it anymore. He had to let go. And Kurt had to be here for him, as Blaine was there. It was really the only thing that made Kurt stop crying really. It wasn't because he owed Blaine, for being there every time he needed to. Maybe it was, but it was so much more at the same time, nothing that Kurt could really wrap his mind around really.

So he didn't try. He just knew that he had to be there for Blaine, if nothing else. Even if he couldn't make him feel better. Just be there. That's it.

Before he knew it, he was already calling Quinn. It felt really like he was two persons right now. One that thought, felt, and cared. And the other one that just acted. Thank the Lord for that.

"Hey Quinn"

"Hi Kurt, feeling better?" asked very lowly Quinn. No doubt Phil or even Blaine were not far.

"Yeah thanks for the time delay"

"No problem. Listen Kurt, we have him. We are home."

"How is he?" asked Kurt, even though he knew the answer

"Not that good…" said Quinn with unsure voice, "He's pretty bad. Emotionally speaking. We gave him some sleeping meds. I think he really need to sleep."

"Good." Approved Kurt "not that it won't make him feel worse in the morning. But it's the best for him, right now, I suppose".

"Are you coming?"

"Yes, I am. I'm leaving shortly." Said determinedly Kurt

"I suppose there is not point for me to ask to consider some sleep before you take the road, is it?"

"No, I suppose not. Thank You for caring though. And thank you for everything that you have done. I hate to see you deprived for the sleep that you obviously need with Lea and all."

"Don't mention it. Besides my parents took Lea for the weekend. It's ok, we needed some calm with Phil"

"Not that you won't have any, with me, knocking on your door in 3 hours"

"I suppose it will be also good for us to keep the habit of staying awake at night, when he have her back. Keep us alert" chuckled Quinn, still sadly though.

"I suppose" said Kurt with the same sad chuckle. "I don't think I will be able to owe you that one Quinn"

"Don't mention it. That's what friends are for. There is no debt between us. And If Phil has a problem with, he'll experience some first hand Quinn Fabray's furry . You sure remember those fits, don't you."

"Oh yes I do" giggled Kurt, really smiling this time.

"It's good to hear you laugh Kurt. I really missed it. See you in a few hours"

"Yes, I missed it too, see you Quinn" added Kurt, even though she already hung up.

The next three hours were probably the longest that Kurt had ever faced. It was all anguish and worry. He had absolutely no idea of what he was about to face, or how he should handle it. So he tried his best to not really think about it, focusing all his thoughts on the driving, and the road. He even put some radio, but quickly turned it off when he heard some talk show that reminded him a lot of "sleepless in Seattle". It wasn't just the show actually but the movie also. Because It was one of their favorite Movies, Blaine and him. They used to watch it again and again, especially when they were living together in New York. They usually both worked late, and when he came home, they cuddled in the sofa watching this movie, sometimes after watching an affair to remember. They would just watch, neither of them feeling the need to say anything, just holding each other and it was perfect. Those were the moments Kurt had missed the most at first, and he was missing today. Those small moments that at the moment didn't mean that much to them, but he knew now that they were the most valuable. Those touches, those holds, the silence, and just them together. The sex had always been great of course, but it didn't mean as much for Kurt as that. Like he had told Blaine so many years ago, "the touch of finger tip" meant the world to him. Well, only when it was Blaine's. He had experienced those quite moments with other guys two, following that, but it never came close to what Blaine and him shared. With those random guys, something was always missing. He wasn't so sure of what it was at the time, but he never really felt at ease. Now he knew what had been missing: Blaine. It was as simple as that. He had missed him everyday for the past 5 years.

So he tried very hard not to think about that loss, about Blaine's loss. Because Blaine had apparently just lost a great deal himself. And that was the priority now. And until he figured out what it was exactly, he wasn't going to think about it.

He had taken few energizing drinks before he left but really he hadn't needed them. He was as awake as he had never been before. All the tire of the last week had vanished. And it was good. He needed to be fully aware now. Looking at the road, and later looking after Blaine.

It was past 5 am when he finally reached Boston. He hadn't drove fast, because he knew that Blaine was probably asleep, and there was really no point to hurry. He needed to gather himself also before steeping in into the mess. So when he entered the city, the sun was rising. If he wasn't so worried and distracted, he would have fully appreciated the beauty of the view. It was his first time in Boston, and it was really a beautiful city. Especially in the sunrise. But he had no time to admire that really. He just followed the instructions that Quinn had texted him, and eventually found himself in front of a nice white house, with a beautiful flowered Garden of pink roses. The house was not that big, but even, from the outside, it felt homey and welcoming. Quinn's magic touch, thought Kurt with a smile.

And for the first time since the beginning of the night, he wasn't so sure anymore that he actually wanted to go in. To see Blaine. To be there for him. He only wanted to drive back home and lock himself inside, not talking to anyone, ever again.

But he couldn't. Not now, not when he was so close. He couldn't freeze now. So he sighed and eventually got out of the car. He reached the door, and after a deep breath, he knocked three times. "Here we go", thought Kurt.

*********

Blaine woke up around 9, awaken by the morning sunlight that was spreading into the room, through the thin white curtains hanging on the windows, and already warming it.

It still took him several minutes to understand why he had awaken in such a room, that was clearly not his, and what had happened that would lent him in here.

And then it hit him. Hard. So hard that he felt immediately nauseous and ran directly into the bathroom. He rushed to the toilet, and leaned to vomit his insides out. But nothing would come out, and the more he tried to get rid of this grow in his throat, the more it got stuck. It was slowly going down to his heart. It was only the weight of his sorrow, Blaine understood. Nothing that he would be able to flush away. It was part of him now. Adding to the other weight that had been pressuring his heart for 5 years now. The weight of loosing Kurt Hummel.

"Blaine, are you ok?"

He suddenly heard the voice of said Kurt Hummel behind his back. He gasped in shock, feeling suddenly unbalanced on his toes, and fell on the floor. Kurt had knocked him down. Once more. He heard his steps behind him, and felt two extraordinary gentle and soft arms pulling him up. Holding him tight. Once again. He let Kurt help him back on his feet. Once again. And then he flipped him to face him.

And Kurt was here. Confusion in his eyes. His beautiful ocean blue eyes. His soft eyebrows that he loved so much raised in concern. His perfect face in wonderment.

"Blaine, are you all right? Do you feel sick?" asked again Kurt

"No. I'm good" Blaine didn't really lie. He was good. He was just because Kurt was now here with him. How did that happen, by the way? "Kurt, you're here…." Whispered Blaine

"No I'm a extra concentrated ghost." Said seriously Kurt.

Blaine chuckled despite himself. He was really feeling good with Kurt being here. He knew that the man was concerned about him, but he was trying his best to hide it, and to make Blaine feel better. It was maybe the worst time to laugh but he knew that it was just Kurt's way to break the tension between them. They really needed to be as comfortable as possible around each other, in this time.

"You don't say, Porcelain" replied Blaine, as eager to make him relax also.

"Touch�" smiled Kurt.

And Blaine's heart missed one beating. Oh god, how much he had missed Kurt's smile. The smile that used to have the power to make him feel better instantly, the smile that was still able to do that. The beautiful smile that was so contagious and usually made everyone forget about their problems. The smile that just made you want to grin wider. The smile that took his breath away. The smile that was making go forward. Leaded their way.

And now he was leading him into the bedroom. He followed Kurt to the bed, when the tall boy, had settled in, his legs touching his chest, his chin slowly resting on his knees. The face of innocence and beauty.

Blaine tried to compose himself and sat next to him, crossed legs. He wasn't really able to breath but it wasn't because of the weight in his heart. That weight seemed to vanish as soon as he had seen Kurt. Heal at his sight.

"Kurt, what are you doing here?" asked eventually Blaine, feeling the urge to say something, and to hear Kurt's voice once again.

"What do you think? I'm here for you." Kurt's tone was so natural that Blaine wanted to cry. "I showed up around 5, but you were sleeping. I didn't want to wake you up. Besides I was tired myself, so I slept a bit on the couch. I woke up when I heard you rushing to the bathroom"

"I'm sorry I woke you up, you must be tired since you drove all night. You should have waited till morning….."

"Nonsense Blaine. Anyway I'm here now. So shut up about it. And tell me what happened."

"I…" Blaine felt suddenly the weight pressing again on his chest. The terrible of last night came back floating into his mind. His confession, Lisa's face when he told her. The yelling. The cursing. And then he words that made his world collapse. His head was spinning suddenly. Nothing was making sense. How a single conversation could change his words forever? How a single moment, a single decision, a few words mean so much? How the truth could be son painful?

"Blaine, how do you feel?" asked eventually Kurt, more and more concerned for Blaine. The tiny smile that was on his face had faded, and he looked now like the image of a tortured man.

"Like crap…" confessed finally Blaine.

"I'm sorry… " Blaine could tell that Kurt really meant his words.

"Thanks Kurt. Means a lot."

"Blaine, I know you don't want to talk about it right now…. But … I think you should. You can't burry it inside you like that. It will only make things worse."

"I know. But I'm not sure if I can…"

"Let me help" simply said Kurt. But it's all it took. Blaine knew suddenly that he could open up to him. And that Kurt would listen to him. He wouldn't judge him. He might even make him understand better what happened. He was so bitter now, that he couldn't see clear into that mess. So he took a deep breath, and decided to let it go.

"I… I told Lisa that I was gay." Blaine felt immediately some relief. But what he hadn't expected that some other emotions would now overwhelm him. Nothing that he was able to figure out at the moment. But they were definitely strong.

"Oh, Jesus, how did she take it?" Kurt gasped in shock.

"Oh like a charm!" mocked humorlessly Blaine

"I'm sorry Blaine, I should have known that…." accused Kurt

"No, it's ok Kurt. I'm mad but I 'm no right to be mad at you. Of course, she took pretty badly. She…. She…." But suddenly it wasn't pain that made Blaine unable to continue, but pure rage.

"What did she do?" asked Kurt, suddenly fearful. Of course, just by Blaine tone, he had understood that something bad happened.

"She finally told me the truth. I should have came out a long time ago, after all" said bitterly Blaine

"Sorry, but I don't understand…." Kurt was obviously lost.

"Yeah I know. She told me that Dianna wasn't my daughter." Finally said Blaine, with really no emotions in his voice. It was almost like he didn't care. So cold. But both men knew better.

"WHAT?" shouted Kurt, so shocked that he almost fell off the bed.

"Yeah, she tricked me into marrying her" said as coldly Blaine. He was more concerned by Kurt's reaction a the moment. He knew that Kurt would take it pretty badly. There would be a lot of tears. Almost as much as him. And Kurt would try to comfort him, but he really didn't need at the moment. Now, he just wanted to push, scream, hurt someone. But Kurt surprised him again.

"Are you sure?" asked as coldly Kurt, like he was doubting the answer to a particular math question. He had regained his balance, and he was now watching Blaine with a poker Face, that the other man couldn't begin to grasp.

"Yeah, I mean I guess, I've always suspected it. She looks nothing like me you know? In fact, she has your eyes…." Let Blaine out with a sad little smile.

"Do you really believe that, or It's just easier for you to cope with it?"

"I'm sorry?"

"Maybe she's a stupid manipulating bitch, and Dianna is really yours. But maybe you let your anger cloud your judgment and you're willing to accept Lisa's lies…" said angrily Kurt

"What the hell Kurt? Do you think I really want Dianna to be someone else's?" Blaine was shouting at this point. How Kurt, among all people, would believe that? What the hell was happening with him?

"Maybe it suits you…"

"WHAT? What the fuck are you talking about, Kurt? How can it suit me?"

"Maybe you don't want to have anything keeping you from living your life, Blaine, for being free, for being with…."

"With you? That's what you think?" snorted with despise Blaine

"You don't need to make it sound like such a horrible thing…" shouted Kurt

"Well, maybe I don't need you Kurt!"

Kurt cringed suddenly with pain, as if he had been marked with iron, and Blaine suddenly realized what he had just said. What enormous lie he had just propounded. Of course, he needed Kurt. He needed Kurt more than he needed food or water. More than he needed air. Because Kurt was the reason why he was still breathing. So why did he had to take away his breath, in the most hurtful way? But Kurt had hurt him also, when he implied that Blaine was only looking for a way out, and he didn't really want to commit to his daughter. What the hell, was that about? Why Kurt had to react in such way? He didn't understand how he could believe that, how he could think that he was capable of such thing? How was Kurt capable to yell and be angry at him. They've never fought like that before, and it was scary. But then again, it wasn't like before. They weren't Kurt/Blaine or Klaine like their friends used to call them, they were Blaine and eventually Kurt. Eventually and only because Blaine had requested him. Called him to weep and cry. That's the only reason Kurt had came, when a week before, he clearly told him that it was over. Over because Blaine had been a fool and left him, leaving him bleeding open. And now, what was he doing? He was making him suffer even more, by asking him to be here with him. He was asking him to put the past behind him, and comfort him! How stupid and selfish was he! It figures that Kurt would be angry. It figures that he would cringe with pain at his hateful words. "What is wrong with me?" Though Blaine.

And Kurt was now looking more hurt and pained then ever, his head resting behind his knees, his eyes down, and his arms around his legs, as if he wanted to hold himself in once piece. That broke one more piece of Blaine's heart.

"I'm sorry Kurt… " finally said Blaine, with a gravelly voice, "I didn't mean it…"

"I don't… "Kurt had raised his eyes to look at him. They were full of soreness and distress. "I'm sorry too. I had no right to doubt you like that. It's just seemed so…"

"I know Kurt, don't worry", Tried to reassure him Blaine

"I'm really sorry, for that. For Dianna I mean. I can't even begin to imagine what It must feel like…" whispered Kurt, slightly off.

"I don't know how to feel either, Kurt. I'm… I don't know. Right now I'm just really angry"

"I am too. I really want to go see that bitch of wife of yours, and … grhhh"

Blaine cringed. He knew that Kurt was really affected by this but it the meantime, he was totally lost and had no idea how to react. He always had troubles with feelings and emotions, and being vulnerable around people. Blaine had a rough time with that at first, because he always thought that he always cared more for Kurt than the other way around, because he showed it more. But he just learned eventually that Kurt had build himself a carapace, over the years, and it took him a long time to penetrate it. And it was right about then when he had found that Kurt was the most caring, and compassionate person ever. That he truly cared. And eventually Kurt had let down his shield around him. He opened himself more and showed him exactly what he was feeling, all the time. But as soon as he was faced with someone else, his carapace that he had spent years to built was once again back. And people usually though about him as a cold and selfish person. They didn't understand how he could show so little emotions in times of loss, tragedy or hurt. How he could care that less. How he could still make jokes about it. They didn't understand that his sarcasms were only a way to protect himself. Laugh about it, but not feel it. But Blaine knew better. He knew he was just afraid of displaying his emotions, of people judgments. He looked so confident, but he wasn't. He was so scared of everything. Of talking, feeling, showing. So he created a image of him for people, a strong, confident, sarcastic image. But Blaine had been able to see through it. He saw the fear, the lack of confidence, and the hurt. And he tried to help him to have a little bit of "courage" to show his true self to the world. The true amazing self that Blaine had fallen in love with.

But now, he knew, that, by leaving, and breaking his heart, he had if not broken all his efforts to be true to himself, he had at least lost the privilege to see it. Kurt was going to show him only the cold and senseless image of himself. He would be overreacting, and over playing it. Not that he didn't care, but even if did, there was no way that he would let him see that. He knew that it was true, when he raised his eyes to meet Kurt's and when he saw that the emotionless poker face was back on.

"yes she is a bitch." Said eventually Blaine, but without anger this time, as if it didn't even matter really.

"What are you going to do about Dianna, though?" asked Kurt

"I don't know, but I won't give her up without a fight" said strongly Blaine

"Good. I'll help you… If you want, of course" replied Kurt, his poker face a bit less secure

"Kurt… I really didn't mean what I said earlier. I need you Kurt."

"Ok, I'll help you then"

"No, Kurt. It's not what I meant. Of course I want you to help me with Dianna, but it's not just that, though. I need you. In every sense of the way. " Blaine didn't know why he was so suddenly declaring his feelings to Kurt. But he wanted him to be able to understand what he felt right now, what he felt for him. What he had been feeling for the past 10 years of his life. He reached Kurt's shoulder with his right hand and squeezed it as if he wanted to comfort him. But it really comforted Blaine. The touch of his body, was the only thing that could comfort him. His simple presence. The closeness of it. He really needed to feel that they were still connected in some way. And he wanted also Kurt to feel that; He wanted to make him understand that he didn't need to pretend, because he knew him. Because he was his other half. He knew it as he knew his heart. His heart that was now pressuring him to make feel Kurt safe. Loved. Needed.

"I need you Kurt, because you are you. Because I am me. Because we are us. Because we are part of something together. Because it's beyond our will. I need you because it's just the way it is. "That's what he should have said. But he wouldn't. He just couldn't it. And it was killing him, because now, they were so close to each other, their breaths mixing into the air, their eyes locked in each other, and nothing but sorrow and fear in them. But it wasn't close enough for him. He needed to shut the gap.

To seal them together. And his lips were only inches away…

***********

Their heads were inches away from each other, their gaze locked intensively. And then Kurt knew what would happen. He just knew. But he didn't stop it. He couldn't, because Blaine suddenly smashed their lips together, and kissed him more fiercely than Kurt ever though possible.

Kurt gasped in shock, but that only made Blaine kiss deepen more. His right hand was now brushing Kurt's back, and the other was still on his shoulder, squeezing him tightly. Kurt was overwhelmed. So many emotions run through him in what seemed both like no time at all and a lifetime. A lifetime when he wanted to kiss Blaine, over and over, and never let go of this man, never miss again the touch of Blaine mouth on his eyes, the taste of his lips, the smell of his skin. He wanted to kiss him back, as if nothing ever happened. As if they were back in time. And he wanted it to last a lifetime, forever. But not like that. Not like this kiss. Because this kiss was scary. Because it was holding all Blaine misery and pain. Blaine was kissing him as if it was his only hope to survive. A desperate kiss. But then again, how could he pull away when Blaine needed it, needed him so much? When, Kurt had to admit, he needed Blaine so much? The kiss was like a shot through his vein, feeling both incredible and painful at the same time. The kiss was his drug. No, Blaine was his drug.

Kurt felt extremely unease with this idea. It felt sick. So wrong, because it was so true. But he wasn't going to let Blaine overdose. Because that's what he was doing, felt Kurt. He felt like Blaine was giving him his last kiss, taking as much as he could with him. And he didn't care about the outcome. He just needed it so much.

Kurt felt a shiver down his spine and he knew it had nothing to do with Blaine's kiss. Or it had, because suddenly he was so afraid of it. Of him. Of what might happen after, if he didn't stop him. So he did. He pulled out of him, and tried to push him gently, his hands pressed on Blaine's shoulders. It did it.

Blaine reacted immediately. He pulled out from him, and almost jumped out of the bed. He was clearly trying to get to the door to hide away but Kurt wasn't going to let it happen. He knew how Blaine would react and he didn't want him to blame himself for some more. He had to stop him.

Before Blaine could make two steps, Kurt reached to him, and grabbed him with force by the arm. But Blaine wouldn't face him. He kept his eyes stubbornly locked on the floor, as his entire body was still shaking. Kurt was determinate to look him into the eyes, to let him know that it was fine, that everything was beyond fine. If he just looked at him… he would have realized. But Blaine wasn't going go, so Kurt reached his arm to Blaine face, and gently he raised Blaine's chin so their gazes would meet.

Again they were so close, in every way possible, standing next to each other, Kurt hand closed on Blaine's arm, his other arm gently pulling his chin, theirs breaths mixing into the air. But in the same time it was so different. They were not as intimate as they were before. They were both prepared, their emotions more guarded, there thoughts more present, everything seemed different. And there were Blaine's eyes. The emotions that flickered into his eyes were so various, starting with anger, then pain, then shame.

It was the last one that hurt Kurt's most. He didn't want Blaine to feel ashamed of anything. Surely not for kissing him. Because he had wanted that as much as Blaine. Actually he had somehow wished for that since the first time they had reunited. Yes, since that first night were he was rude to him, the whole time, a part of his heart just wanted to kiss him. Blaine didn't have to be ashamed and Kurt needed to make him understand, because obviously, Blaine couldn't tell by looking at him, or maybe he didn't want to.

"Blaine, don't… don't…. it's ok" that's all Kurt managed to say. He hoped it would somehow help Blaine realize his feelings.

"I'm sorry Kurt... I was such a fool for…. " Whispered Blaine, pain and guilt all over his face

"No you're not a fool Blaine…. I didn't mind…. More like I did…. But no let me finish!" sad Kurt when he saw Blaine cringe with pain, " I did mind because I wanted to kiss you too… but…" he was unable to continue. But what exactly, really?

"But that doesn't change a thing…" said Blaine who seemed to understand finally. "After all that, it doesn't change a thing really" his tone was settling, defeated.

"It's not that really…"

"But It's still true, Kurt. Nothing has changed, has it?" asked Blaine

Kurt didn't know how to answer that, and it didn't help that Blaine was now looking at him deep into his eyes, expecting an real answer. Of course he would want to know. But damn, Kurt had no idea how to respond to that one. His mind was shouting that nothing had changed, and his heart was urging him to kiss Blaine. To hold him. Forever. A part of him wanted to forget everything that happened in the last 5 years, to pick up exactly where they had left, to be happy again with the man he loved. Because there was no denying it: he still loved Blaine. At this point, it wasn't even called loved. What they shared was beyond plain human sentiments. It felt like they couldn't leave without each other. It hurt but also it was just physically impossible. He knew that he managed somehow to achieve that for the past years, but maybe it was only because he knew that Blaine was still out there somewhere, living, and there was still some hope. Not loads, but it's all it took. Because if Blaine were to disappear, Kurt would too. He just knew it. So why wouldn't he kissed him, why wouldn't he hold him in his arms and tell him that everything was going to be ok? Because, as much as some part of him wanted to, the other part was so much more rational. Because he knew that even if Blaine had lost his family that he got out of the closet once more nothing had really changed. They were still apart for 5 years, his heart was still broken (even though he knew that Blaine would fix it), and Blaine had still a daughter. But maybe she could be his daughter too, he thought for a second. He was suddenly foreseeing a future with Blaine and Dianna, as a family, happy and bubbly family. But he shook this idea out of his head really quick. It was Blaine's daughter, well, not really even. That was an other problem altogether. More problems that Blaine would have to face. Alone? No, Kurt wouldn't leave him alone to deal with that, for that he was sure. But how would he help him. As a friend or more? He was really lost by this point and it didn't help that Blaine's face was once again inches away from his, his eyes locked into his, and obviously expecting an answer. Not necessarily good, but he sure hoped so. He just wanted really to know something, anything. Was Kurt able to give him anything?

But before he could commit to his fate, a heavy knock on the door ripped apart the silence.

********

"Hey guys, It's Phil. Are you awake? Quinn says the breakfast is ready."

The moment was definitely gone.