Less than a hour Later, eleven people were packed into one small room of the OBGYN wing of the Memorial Grace Hospital. Quinn had been admitted less than 10 minutes ago and she was now heavily breathing and for periods, screaming, in the bed of the hospital room, wearing a blue gown. When her water broke, her friends froze in shock for what seem like forever for Quinn, before, Mercedes, snapped out of her blow, and helped her to the car. Everyone followed, even Kurt, who luckily was still staring at the vodka bottle, pondering if he should actually open it, before Puck literary smashed the door into pieces in a attempt to get Kurt of his room. Kurt didn't had the time to scream, before he heard Quinn screaming herself that she was getting into labor. Oh my god, it was sophomore year all over again!

And here they were, all tightened in the small room, waiting for a doctor to come check on Quinn. Apparently someone had called her husband, and he was trying to find the first plane from Chicago, where he was for business.

To fill his place, Quinn didn't find better than Kurt. She was hanging into him, almost breaking his bones, and screaming like a wild lady. Kurt was scared, like really scared.

Finally the door opened to let a middle aged brunette doctor come in the room, followed by a male nurse in a pink gown. As soon as they entered the room, they gasped in shocked at the number of people present in the room.

"Miss Fabray, I see that you're well surrounded but this isn't a theatre, it's a hospital room. Please wait outside, we we'll let you know when the baby is born" sighed the doctor.

Everyone looked pretty relieved in fact to live the room. Especially Puck and Santana. They already live through one of her deliveries, and it was a situation they didn't want to face again. Kurt was about to live to when Quinn, according to the previous accord she had with the girls, who filled the boys without letting anything slip to Kurt, grabbed as fiercely as she could Kurt's arm, stopping him from getting out of the room. He was going to stay with her through the delivery they agreed, so the others could work on the Blaine intervention.

"Kurt, Mister, You. Are. Staying. With. Me" said Quinn

"What ?" Kurt was terrified now. Ad his arm really, really hurt.

"Yes. Kurt, I need YOU, please!"

"But…. Mercedes… Rachel… Tina.." mumbled with panic Kurt

"No, YOU. KURT! Are you really going to argue with me while I'm having a baby ?"

"No…" said Kurt in defeat.

"Good…"said Quinn, sending a smile to her friends that were now leaving one by one the room. Puck, mimed to world "good job".

"Is this nice gentleman, who's going to help you deliver the baby your boyfriend or your husband, miss?" asked curiously the doctor.

A snort was heard from the door and they all turned to see Puck, who was about to get out of the room, laughing like a mad man.

"You should know better, I mean you're a doctor. You can smell the queer out of him, it stinks!" and he disappeared though the door.

The doctor just shook her head in disbelief, but couldn't help the small grin that appeared on her face. Oh that's just great, that's just getting better and better, thought Kurt.

"So you're gay? "

"Do you really felt the need to ask that, doctor?" chuckled Quinn

"Yes I am." Sighed Kurt

"So, you're not the husband?"

"God, they really teach you a lot in med school …" said Kurt so low that only Quinn could hear him. She grinned. He left his head to face the doctor, and simply said "no".

"So you're not the father either…" asked this time the nurse.

"really Kurt.. I'm starting to worry about the level of education of this medical team…"

whispered Quinn as low as Kurt did. But she added louder also "Obviously not."

Kurt didn't smile. Because it wasn't always so obvious. Take Blaine.

***********

"Oh my god! Did you think he believed us? Do you think he suspects anything?" asked Brittany with panic in her voice, once they all left Quinn's room. They were all seated in couches and chairs in some private waiting room that was graciously offered to them. Well actually, there were some strings pulled from Rachel, and a lot of bargaining and threats but hell, no one were going to complain.

"Well Brit… he's here, isn't he?"

"That's just because Fabray back there has some serious pain and anger issues. I'm pretty sure he'll be missing some bones, when it all ends… I should know" said Puck

"Whatever, we have to find him…" said suddenly Mercedes, with a sense of urge in her voice

"Who?"

"Your brain Puckerman… been M.I.A for well too long"

"Last time I check, It was in you ass… Lopez"

"Hey, no messin' with my girl… Mohawk!" snapped Brittany.

Everyone laughed out loud including Puck, Brittany and Santana. It was just a way for them to take the edge of a very stressful evening, and before what was looking to be headed to a very stressful night. It was past one am and no one knew what the night might bring. But the laugh eventually faded and they were once again dead serious.

"How do you long we have before… I mean… how long does a baby need…" inquired Finn with urge

"No idea…. It was a quickie last time" grinned Puck

"Just shut up Puckerman" sighed Rachel "We don't know, so we have to act quick… let's do that!" And everyone leaned closer to the center of the room.

"How the hell are we supposed to reach the guy…" wondered Artie

"Yeah… I mean we have nothing on him… no address… no phone…. Nothing. For all we know, he might be in a plane now on his way to some foreign and exotic land…"

"Finn… you watch too much TV darling…." sighed Rachel, squeezing the hand of her husband. But she eventually accorded him a small smile, because he was just too cute.

"We can call him…." Begun Tina

"Where… on what… I mean we haven't seen the guy in 5 years… minus last night… do you think he's so stupid that he would have kept the same number?"

"Or hopeful…" sensed Rachel

They all peeked at her with a very confused expression on their faces. Hell, everything was confusing for them, thought Rachel exasperated. It was almost like they never truly left high school. Like they didn't live the real life for the past 5 years. Like they never learned. But Rachel did. Or she thought she did. Because in her mind, Blaine was the type to keep the same number even after running away. She was sure of it. Blaine had always been in love with Kurt. Always. It was so clear when she met him the previous night. He was devastated not only because he had been caught on the spot with a woman, but also because he had to face the man he loved more in the world and whom he never truly got over. The man whom he thought about every second of every minute of every day. Rachel was sure of it.

"Listen to me, you bunch of dumb and dumber." Rachel, begun again looking at them one by one with a intense gaze." Blaine loves Kurt. There 's no denying it." But nobody tried to deny it anyway. "He always has and always will" she said looking deeply into Finn's eyes who felt somehow uncomfortable, "and even if he screwed up big time, even if he ran away on purpose, he would never really cut anything that would attach him to his previous life. To his true love. And this only string is his phone. Don't try to see any logic in there," she said quickly when she noticed that some of the guys were trying to interrupt her. " Love isn't logical. He sure knows that Kurt would never call him back, that he, himself would never be able to call back on his previous life, but still, it's hope. Foolish hope because love messes with our brain. So his number is the only thing that allows him to remember what was his life before. And I'm sure that he wouldn't never, ever erase that. Or erase Kurt's number for that matter. Maybe he had erase us, but only because it would have been to suspicious if he didn't… But Kurt he would never, no matter how much it would coast him to look at it every morning, every day. No matter it would remind him of his mistakes. You can call it masochist, but Kurt was and will always be is only love and his only pain".

******

Everyone looked at her with astonishment. They were reduced to silence after her speech, trying to ponder the news and grasp Rachel's logic. But it didn't long for them to figure out that it all made sense. Of course she was right. Scary right. So almost in the same time, after exchanging a comprehensive look between them, they all started talking.

"Wow, I mean Rachel…. That was some serious shit…" said a very impressed Puck.

"If Broadway doesn't work out for you Berry… you can always be a hot freakin' shrink…" did acknowledge Santana.

"But the thing is, probably everyone erased his number so …" pondered Sam

"Probably not Kurt… but then again we can't ask him…." Stated Rachel.

"Then again… maybe I didn't either…" said Mercedes in a almost inaudible voice.

But they all heard her and turned to face her with confusion once again.

"Call it hope…" simply put Mercedes. And the others just nodded.

"Do you think he will answer? " asked Brittany with concern

"He will…" affirmed once again Rachel.

"Berry… if it goes all like you planned tonight… I'm officially putting in some Russian roulette and sell you to a freaking circus." Sneered Puck

But Rachel didn't even bother to respond, as Puck and Finn threw theirs fists together. Boys will be boys. She preferably turned back her attention to Mercedes and by just a nod, urged her to dial the number. Mercedes did as she was taught, flipped numbers into her phone before finding the good one, took a deep breath, and dialed. Then she put the phone on speaker to everyone to listen.

"What are you going to say…"

"Just trust me… Rachel gave me an idea… we're about to find out if she's the smart ass she pretends to be…"

"Wait…." Cut suddenly Brittany "Just be Careful… you might dial a wrong number… and end up talking to a Russian prostitute named Melody, who might sound a lot like Santana, and she will end up charging you 5$ per minute for hot dirty phone sex."

Everyone turned to look at her with astonished and shocked eyes, mouths hanging open, but before Santana could say anything, or Puck could crack the million dirty jokes that appeared to have popped into his mind, the ringing stopped, and a voice answered.

"Hello…." Said a very much awake voice

"Blaine?"

"Mercedes?" Blaine gasped in shock.

"Yeah Blaine it's me… listen" said Mercedes in a fake urged tone " I can't go into the details… but Kurt had been into the emergencies… he's…"

"OH MY GOD! Is he ok…." There was heavy breathing in the other side of the line

"Listen it's pretty bad…. But the thing is… he has been asking for you…"

"For me?" The breathing stopped suddenly

"Yeah… I don't know if you can come… or if you still in New York…"

"You sure he wants me here?" whispered Blaine, barely audible

"Yes… he gave me your number to call…."

But she didn't get to finish her phase, because there were clearly some movements in Blaine's side. Heavy doors slamming, and stuff falling, heavy breathing before someone picked up the phone again….

"I'm on my way Mercedes…. Be there in 15… Wait where are you?"

Mercedes couldn't refrain a smile. God, the guy was hopeless! "Memorial Grace hospital… west wing… emergencies…"

"Ok text you when I'm here…" and the line shut down.

"Well… was I right, or was I right?"

"Shut up Rachel!" said simultaneously 9 people.

"I feel awful… for doing that…"

"Come on, baby, we all know here it's from a good intention… besides Blaine deserves it … he only gets a taste from it's own medicine…" said Sam sourly

"Yeah… but it ain't feels right… Jesus…"

"Yeah… like they say Aretha… the road to hell is paved with good intentions…"

"You should know Satan! " replied in the same time Tina, Mercedes and Rachel.

******

Less than 15 minutes later, Mercedes phone buzzed. Everyone reached to grab it but she was quicker than them. She read : I'm outside. B.

"ok, ok here he is, said Mercedes with sudden panic in her voice. Ok you know what you have to do, guys. Don't screw it up. I'll do my part, go!"

Everyone stood up with panic and frenzy and rushed out the door, leaving only Mike to guard the door and make sure no one would get in. Mercedes, rushed down toward the entrance of the emergency wing, only to find a very worried Blaine, pacing the floor like a mad men.

Blaine was white as the walls, with deep shadows under his eyes, and his hair was all messed up, half was gelled and half was curled up. He was looking like someone who hadn't slept for so long, and he really didn't. After his fight with Kurt, he didn't know how long he spent in the loge crying all the tears in his body. But eventually a security guard came and escorted him outside. He texted his wife, not really carrying if she was already worried by his disappearance, and told her that he felt sick and he was going back to the hotel. Which he did. He finished the remaining alcohol that was left in the mini-bar and once again lied on his bed, facing the ceiling, up until his phone buzzed and he felt the sudden urge to answer it even thought he didn't recognize the number. Call it a feeling.

"Blaine Anderson!"

He turned to see Mercedes coming toward him, looking more relaxed that he was; maybe it wasn't that bad after all, thought Blaine. Thank god.

"Mercedes… what the hell…", he said running toward her but then, when he was only two feet away, they both froze, nervous.

"You stupid Moron! I should cut your white boys balls" hollered Mercedes

"Mercedes don't you think it's not really the time… Kurt is…"

"Kurt is fine you smart ass…."

"What ?"

"Yeah he is… no harm done. We're here because Quinn's having a baby…"

"yeah" The voice came from Behind Blaine, and sent a shiver down his spine. He jumped forth so quickly that he almost smashed Mercedes but some hands kept him put, and he was now facing, Puck, Sam, Finn, Artie and Santana.

"What.. what… " Blaine was really afraid that they would hit him or murder him. It was clearly a trap from the beginning. But then again, they were in a hospital, so…

"Listen, punk head. You're going to be a good boy and follow us" threatened him Puck.

"Yeah… and you're going to do what we tell you.." continued Finn, enraged.

"yeah, ain't no messin' with us…" warned him Artie

"Yeah because, like you remember, I still have razors in my head. Mum. Like all over my head. Tons. And I come from Lima Height Adjacent, don't forget that. " menaced Santana

Blaine had no choice but to follow them into a private room, where they locked him in with them. And then Rachel, who he hadn't noticed yet, said :

"Don't be scared, Dapper Boy. They are just messing with you. Now, on the other hand, you should be scared of me."

"What the hell is…" Blaine was really confused now and felt like he was trapped in some lame TV show, with everybody trying to kill him.

"Listen. Kurt is here. He doesn't know you're here. But what we do know is he wants to talk to you."

"did he said that…"

"Not exactly but so not the point" Blaine sighed. Rachel was always getting into people's business , but generally the others didn't follow her crazy lunatic ideas. " Listen, Our boy is in some deep shitty dark place. And it's because of you. Now, he won't say it, but we know that the only way he will get better, is if he understands what happened back there. If you told him."

Blaine didn't know what to say. Because it was what he always wanted to do. And this guys were willing to let him do it. Let him explain himself, even after all this years. That's more that he would have ever asked for. So he just looked them, a dumb stuck expression on his face.

Rachel sighed and said : "I guess I take it as a yes? You'll do it? You'll help us? You'll help Kurt?"

"I will…"

"Blaine you know how he is, he won't listen at first, but make him. It's for his own good." Said Sam. Blaine simply nodded.

But then they all heard some loud talking in the other side of the door, and then someone knocking.

"It's our cue to live." Said suddenly Rachel "Talk, Anderson."

In the other side of the door, Kurt was confused. Less than a minute ago, Tina, and Brittany burst into Quinn's room, screaming god knows what, about him having to be god knows where, because god knows you needed him. He just let himself dragged by the girls, in front of a room, before they finally calmed down, and knocked.

The door opened, and the rest of his friends got out. He was more and more confused by the minute.

"Listen Kurt, You're probably going to hate us in a second but it's for your own good" said Rachel, grabbing his hands.

"Yeah man, sorry but…" added Finn

"What… why?" garbled Kurt, completely lost.

"Just gone in here, babe.. you'll understand. And don't try to come out before we decide so… we'll lock you in anyway…." said Mercedes looking at him, and grabbing him for one quick hug.

"Wait? what…."

But he didn't get to finish his phrase as Puck opened the door, shoved him the room, and closed it back on him.

******

Kurt couldn't believe what just happened. Did they really locked him in a room. Alone… and then he turned away, and he saw him by the corner. Strike that. They locked him in a room with Blaine. After all went down tonight. After all he told them. With Blaine, among all people!

He started to knock on the door as hard as could : "Guys FUCK YOU! Let me out!"

"No, you talk. Then we'll let you out!" he heard Mike said through the wooden door

"How the hell will you know?"

"We'll know" simply said Puck.

Kurt kicked once again the door really hard but it then again it didn't do any good or bad to it. He sighed and leaned his back against the wall.

� This is surreal. I'm going to kill them. One by one. Even that damn unborn baby." He said still shaking with anger

"Your friends sure are crazy…" sighed Blaine. He didn't move all the time Kurt was trying to force the door. He knew there was no point in trying to calm him down. He always had some temper, and the best, was always to let him cool off by himself, which he eventually did.

"They were your friends too… once upon a time…. But sorry, I forgot that you resented them also… as everything else…"

"Kurt…"

"By the way, you agreed to that. No one forced you here. So I think you're fare more deranged than this bunch of…"

"You don't know what you are talking about…"

"Oh, I don't ?"Snapped Kurt

"Kurt, we have to talk." Cut Blaine

"Been there, done that, no luck"

"No you talked, and I listened. Please listen to me; I have to tell you, everything. All that happened"

But Kurt wasn't sure if wanted to know the truth. The hurt hurts. The truth doesn't solve anything. Well, not this time. But really, deep inside him, he wanted to know. He wanted to understand what happened back then. Why he was rejected by the person who spent 4 years of his life trying to make him secure about himself. He didn't want to know and he did, at the same time. But he couldn't leave. He had no choice but listen.

Blaine took it like a cue to explain himself and so he did.

"Listen Kurt. I Loved you. I really did, all we shared was true. You meant everything to me. The world.

"Well, obviously, that wasn't everything. Who knew you were the one to find another planet? Let's call the NASA"

"Please Kurt, stop your cheap sarcasms. I'm really trying to explain myself now, and you're being a bitch"

"I always have. Not going to change for you, Babe" snorted Kurt with despise.

"I know." Blaine was not going to argue about those sarcasms if it was the only thing keeping him from his story. "Doesn't matter. What matters is my actions back there. Like you know, my mom called me and said that my dad was really sick, so I flew there. I didn't know why, because my dad was always horrible to me. He never, ever accepted me, never supported me, not like Burt did with you. He wasn't even speaking to me back then. I haven't seen him in a year, when he had said to me: "get out of my house, faggot". But I did go. I don't know why. He's my father after all. And maybe I though to myself, maybe, he would regret what he said and what he had done to me. Maybe his illness would allow him to have some kind of epiphany. You know that I've always been a romantic, a believer, so I chose to believe."

Kurt, was now really listening to him; although he had no intention to at first. He was just trying to be a bitch to him and make him suffer. But Blaine was suffering enough just by remembering. Just by being. Kurt could right through it.

"So what? Did he forgive you?" Kurt asked, because Blaine had stopped talking and was lost in his thoughts.

" No, he didn't. He would never. I realized that the minute I walked into the house. I knew that he was suffering but not enough to make him regret what he said to me. What he did to me. He wasn't going to take it back. Indeed was just going to make me suffer as much as him. And God! He did…"

"…"Blaine got lost once again in his thoughts but Kurt didn't urged him to get back to talking. As much as it hurt him to spend this time with Blaine, he wasn't going to push him neither. Because he knew how painful memories were. How the reminiscences of the past affected the mind. Because now Kurt, was reliving it with him, he was back five years ago, and he was putting everything in a new perspective. The perspective of the truth.

"The first days were awful, Kurt. Awful. The shock of seeing my dad so weak, so sick, so dying. And he made it worse because he wouldn't see me. He kept yelling at me and at my mother for calling me. He said that he didn't need me here. That he didn't his faggot son to be a constant reminder of his failures before he died. Kurt, you have no idea how he looked at me. Like, Like I was the devil that would keep him from going to heaven." Blaine was crying now, and his legs wouldn't support him anymore. So he just rested his back against the wall, and let himself slip into the floor. Kurt didn't move. He just kept staring at him, his face blank of any expression.

"So, I was the devil for him… and well.. that didn't stopped me for trying to care of him. He couldn't walk anymore or go the doctor's office, he was too weak for that. The cancer in his lungs was slowly taking all his breath away. The hospital had sent a nurse to help my mother take care of him, but I just fired her once I got there. I mean… I told her that I would be capable to care of him if she just showed me… My dad didn't want but my mom… she didn't let him the choice. I figured if I took care of him myself, we would bound you know? He would come to know me and accept me… I was a fool."

Blaine paused for a few minutes and looked Kurt in the eyes with exhaustion. He sighed and then got back to his story.

"That's why I didn't call you at first… because I was so down.. and then so busy trying to learn all this stuff to help my dad… and then actually convince my dad to let me help him… and when we did, managing to handle my dad and actually help my mom in the house… because there were no more help around. Because my dad didn't want any strangers in it. I'm sorry Kurt" added Blaine looking to Kurt who just nodded, waiting for him to continue. So he did.

"And the thing is, I was a fool. Because I didn't get any better. My father was constantly cursing me, and telling me how much a freak I was, and how he didn't understand that something so unnatural would come from him. And how his relatives or his friends would react if they ever found it. And my mom… my mom was no better. Kurt, she was worse. Because she didn't face up to my dad. She just kept saying that she didn't understand what they did for me to hurt them so much. And it was partially my fault that my father was sick, because he was so sick of having a son like me. And she asked me to try to be a better man, to be someone else, for my dad last moments. She wanted me to change so my dad could go away in piece. She kept blaming me for his condition that worsened every day. She said it was my fault because I was too stubborn to realize that I was just a child who would do anything to punish his parents. She said that I did on purpose to make their life miserable…."

Blaine stopped again to try to catch his breath, because he was literally chocking with his own tears and his own words. Kurt couldn't stand this sight. He felt nauseated so he turned the other way, his hands on the cold wall, his head resting against it, trying to catch some mouthful or air of his own. He heard Blaine in his back, picking up again where he left.

"And before I knew it, a whole month passed by. And I was feeling more and more unsecure about myself. My parents brought this priest at home, for the pretense of my father last confession, but it turned out that he wanted to wash away my own "sins". He kept talking about hell, and purgatory, and how the devil took possession of my soul, but he said that it was too late for redemption. For being a good son again. For my parents to love. Kurt, I knew better, but I after all that, my fate in myself just kept falling apart. And then you showed up. And you offered to help me. And take care of me. But Kurt, I rejected you." Kurt, at this last words, turned back to face only to see in Blaine's eyes what looked like agony. His own heart twitched in pain, and he slip himself against the opposite wall.

"I rejected you Kurt, because I didn't want you to be apart of it. I didn't want my parents to put you through the same living hell I was living. I was willing to accept it, for myself because it was my father but you had no reason to be brought down by people like my parents. You deserved better Kurt, you deserved better than this life or me."

"And what gave you the right to choose for me, Blaine? " It was the first time Kurt spoke since Blaine begun his story, and Blaine didn't except it. He didn't expect the words either that came out of his mouth. Blaine fixed Kurt's eyes for a moment but he didn't understand what he saw. Kurt held his gaze but when Blaine broke it, he just sighed and looked down at the floor, not quick enough for hide the tears that were forming into his eyes.

"Noting Kurt… you know that I'm a fool… I only did what I thought was best for you. And I knew you wouldn't let go easily, so I hurt you on purpose, I'm sorry. I had to make you believe that I didn't want you in order to make sure that you would let go. That was hard, the hardest thing that I ever did. Letting you go. Believe me. But I couldn't let you face that. Or face me. Because I changed so much in over a month. I wasn't so proud or confident, or brave. I was getting weaker, and weaker. I was trapped in a cage of incertitude with my father in it. His voice was everywhere in my head. I was still sure that I was gay, but I felt more and more ashamed for it. I'm sorry Kurt, but it's true. I started to feel like it was really me that was the problem. No the outside world, not my parents. Oh god, why was it so difficult? After three months and just before my dad died, I was no longer sure of anything. Of being gay was really worth it. If it was, like my mom had said, just a choice that I had made to piss them off ? I really was confused Kurt. My mom made sure that I would stay with them and they continue my brainwashing. She kept me from answering the door when Finn came to see me. She hired some movers to bring back my stuff at the house, without me knowing. It was horrible, the most horrible fight we had, when I found out. And you know what? My dad started yelling too… and he said that no matter how hard I tried, even if I tried to find redemption, I was and I will always be a fag, and that he hated my guts. He died 3 hours later, of a heart attack. Ironic"

Kurt was horrified. He wanted to get up, get the hell out of this room, and ran without ever stopping. He felt so sick inside. So disgusted. So… He couldn't look at Blaine, he was afraid to do so. He wanted him to just stop talking. But he couldn't talk either. He didn't want to know the truth, he didn't want to know anything. Please, let him get out of here. But his body didn't want to move, to respond. He just kept his head pressed between his knees, his hands shaking, and he even stopped tearing. He had just a freaking weird reaction, and he wasn't able to move. He just had to kept listening.

"So it was it. My dad died. My mom was almost dead of sorrow. And I, was as good as dead. Truthfully I was. In the inside. But in the outside, I had a freaking funeral to organize, and plan, and people to meet, and all that crap. I saw all these people from my past, all my parents' friends. All freaking catholic rich and obnoxious people that I hated my whole life. And they were all here. All with fucking morals and principles that was already outdated in the 50's. People that pretended to be friends, but turned away from my dad and my mom when he got sick. I felt nauseated the whole ceremony. After that, all that people came into the house, and I was presented to a lot of people, among them Lisa. Actually we knew each other when we were little, but they moved when we were 8 to Boston with her parents. I spent some time talking to her, but truly it didn't give me much comfort. And she kept saying those things… they all said the same things to me… that my parents told them that I was boarding in France… in some very fancy school… because I was such a good student… and of course they missed me, but they were so proud of me… Oh my god, Kurt, you can't understand how much I wanted this to be true. How much I wanted that my parents actually meant all this. How much I wanted my dad to have felt like this for me, or my mom to be actually proud of who I was! I never felt so miserable in my life, so unwanted, so ashamed of myself. So that night, after the funeral, I spent it drinking. Alone in my room. I didn't care less about all the people in the house that came to pay their respects. I didn't want any of their condolences. But I don't know why, Lisa came to my room that night. It was like she knew I was confused, she sensed something. But after that, the only thing I could remember was waking up the next morning naked against her. "

Kurt's head snapped then in a quick move that even surprised himself. He went back into his feet as suddenly and started pacing the floor, still not looking at Blaine.

"I don't remember anything from that night, Kurt, I swear. Maybe I was desperate for affection, maybe because I was so unsecure about myself, but in any case, I did it with Lisa. And I felt horrible afterwards, more horrible that I was before, if it was even possible. Lisa didn't say anything to me after that. I though she just wanted to forget that It did even happen, like I did. And I did try to forget it. Because I couldn't think about anything else besides you. Now that my father was dead, and nothing kept me attached to that house, I had no idea what to do. I had no idea who I was anymore Kurt. Gay, straight, anything. And for some time, It didn't matter, because all I could think of you, was you. How much I've been missing you. How much I hurt you. All the consequences of my actions towards you, all the choices that I made, came back to hunt me. I felt it all, in once. I couldn't stop crying. Couldn't get out of bed for two weeks. I was devastated. My mom taught that I was mourning my bad or blaming my self for his premature death. I couldn't care less. But then after two weeks, I realized that you would never take me back, that I would never be able to be with you again. Like before. And then my mom started again his brainwashing. She kept saying that my father's death should have woken me up, and I should have came into my senses by now, and all that. Kurt, I was so emotionally unstable, so weak, that I just let everything my mom said in. I couldn't fight her anymore. He just started planning my life, and deciding for me and I really don't know what she was doing, because Kurt I was so out of it. Of everything. She kept saying stuff like that for two weeks, and then exactly a month after my father's death, Lisa showed up at my door saying that she was pregnant with my child. Because of that night. I was devastated and of course my mother taught it was the best news in the world. Before I knew it, I was sitting in our living room with my mother and Lisa's parents talking wedding dates, and jobs and living arrangements. They just planned my whole future in one fucking afternoon! And you know what Kurt, I didn't protest. I just though that it was some kind of sign, karma, whatever. I didn't want to fight anymore, so I resigned. I let them organize my life, turn me into a executive into the family business, plan a ridiculous wedding, and organize my moving to some Boston suburbs. 7 months later, I had a wife, a daughter, a dog, a white picket fence, and a fucking Volvo. And I never felt more gay in my whole damn life."

Kurt was speechless. So many emotions were running through him: anger, hurt, sadness and the truth, the stronger one, was empathy. He hated himself for feeling that. But there was no denying it. He felt truly sorry for Blaine. Because as much as he wanted to tell himself that Blaine was just a coward for running away, for being weak in front of his parents, for marrying Lisa, for all that, he knew better. Because he understood. Because no matter how hard it was to accept this idea, he knew he had been lucky. Because he had Burt. His dad. And Carole. And Finn. And his friends. Because of how much he was angry with them in the moment, he would never be able to thank them enough, to be grateful enough for how much they did for him. For how much they were the reason he was here today. For the fact that he was a proud and confident homosexual man. For the fact that he came to accept himself. Just because they accepted him. And showed him that it was ok to be who was. It was more than ok, it was normal. They supported him, and protected him, and even kicked his ass, when he had doubts about himself. He was here, today, because of them. But Blaine, never had the same. He just didn't.

Kurt felt empathy because then again, he could have ended just like Blaine, if it wasn't for them. Because he remembered. It might have been 9 years ago, and Kurt and his friends, might be joking about it know, but he knew, that time, he might have turned just like Blaine. He could see it now. That week, 9 years ago, was the turn in his life. . Sure he was a kid back then, but still. He felt rejected by his own father who he thought wanted to spend more time with Finn because he was "a real dude". He changed his outfits, sung Mollohan Camp, and even dated Brittany. And the thing is, he truly wanted to be someone else, back then. Someone "normal". To fit in. And maybe he would still be living this lie, if it wasn't for his father. For his friends. But mostly for his father. Because he did said to him something that he had been carrying in his heart since: "Your job is to be who you are, and my job is to love you no matter what".

And just because of that, he was who he was today. Because of those few words. Because of a hug. Because of his love. He owed everything to his father. He owed him his life.

But others don't have the same chance. Kurt knew he was lucky to have been supported all his life by his father. And he knew that's what made all the difference. That's what makes all the difference for all the kids in the world. Gays, straights, it didn't matter. All a kid wants is to be loved, accepted and make their parents proud. Kids constantly reinvent themselves to please their families. Kids take baseball because dad is a fan, kids work harder because daddy would be proud. Kids hate spinach but they ate it to please Mommy. And kids turn straight to feel loved. It doesn't change when you grow up. And if you don't have parents to tell you that is ok, that's it's best to be who ever you want to be, you might just end up to be the pale copy of who you look up to.

And Blaine was no exception. He might have rebelled against it at some point, but the guilt, the fear to be a constant disappointment and failure just catches up eventually. All you need, is a abusive, homophobic and closes minded parent. All you need is someone to kick you down when you're already struggling to get up, to affirm yourself.

All you need is love. Blaine didn't get it. Kurt did. Blaine resented himself. Kurt didn't. It was as simple as that. Blaine might have been brave but not brave enough, and Kurt just couldn't blame him for that. Some people do actually pull out from their parents' influence, but some people aren't Blaine. And some people aren't Kurt.

All you need is love, thought once again Kurt.

"Kurt… please say something" asked Blaine, who was on his knees, his face red and his eyes swallowed by all the crying.

Kurt jumped a bit at the sound of his name. because he had forgotten he was here. In this room. In this hospital. With Blaine. Because in his mind, he was still 9 years ago on the stage, at school, in his father's arm, feeling safe and cherished.

He turned slowly to face back the world's reality, Blaine and said:

"Lennon was a smart ass…" whispered Kurt to himself. But he eventually raised his voice: " I don't know… Blaine. I just don't know what to say. Blaine, you've got to understand something, I… I understand. I do understand it. What you've been through… It must not have been easy… but…"

"But?"

"But… Blaine… it doesn't change anything. You're still married. You still have a daughter. That didn't change."

"I know Kurt… I'm sorry." Blaine got back on his feet and slowly walked to where Kurt was standing.

"I know you are… I'm sorry also. I wish things were different… but they are not."

Blaine didn't answer. He just kept moving toward Kurt. He needed him. He needed Kurt to tell him that everything was ok. He needed to feel something.. He was exhausted. For pretending fitting in. Because he never did. He never fitted in when he was a gay, and he never did either when he pretended to be straight. He didn't know where his place anymore. If he had only a place. That's why he needed Kurt to tell him. That somehow, he had still a place. And if… if … this place was in Kurt's arms.

Kurt saw Blaine moving forward but he wasn't sure if he wanted to stop him. He didn't forgive him. Or did he? He wasn't so sure anymore. But what was sure, was the fact that he didn't forget. That he would never. Because there he was. A constant reminder. A constant married father reminder. But then again he felt like his heart was urging his mind to shut up and his body to lean into Blaine's arms. To feel the warmth of Blaine's embrace. He wanted to make him feel better about himself, to make himself feel better. Like this hug would have the power to heal them both. He wanted to forget himself into Blaine's arms, never wake up again, and die pressed against his heart.

Blaine was still moving slowly, step by step, like the man who was marching toward his guillotine, his eyes locked into Kurt's. The tension was almost unbearable as the two of them were only now one foot away, and Kurt was suddenly not sure of anything. He never had been so lost in his life, so conflicted, so tortured, and he knew that Blaine was as helpless as he was. But then again… Blaine took a deep breath, his deep green eyes lost into the vast ocean that were Kurt's and…

"KUUUUUUURTTTTTT ELIZABETH HUMMEL, WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU? I'M FREAKIN' HAVING THIS BABY NOW! AND I NEED YOUUUUU NOOOOOOW! ARGGGHHHH!"