It was right before midnight when they finally made it to New York. The ride had been mostly silent, besides the radio playing softly in the background. Both men didn't say a word after the "Loving you" accident, not even exchanging a glance. Maybe it was because they wouldn't want to talk about it just now, before even thinking what it really meant for them. Maybe it was because Dianna had interrupted them and the moment was gone. Maybe because they just didn't want to talk about it in front of her, or maybe because they didn't want to wake her again if their talk got heated again. Anyway, Dianna was glad. Not that she had been able to sleep after that, but she just didn't want to have to hear about that just now. What it could mean for them and mostly for her. She wasn't really over the fact that her dad loved other men, that he didn't love her mommy, that also he wasn't even his dad, and her mom, her only "legal" parent was crazy. That was just a lot for a little girl to understand. She could bet it would be as confusing for a grown up. But it did happen to her, and it was enough for keeping her awake for the next five years. Well, at least for the ride.

She was struggling between different concepts that she wasn't old enough to understand. Her 4 years-old mind was full of philosophical concept about the question of love, and family and well, everything that high school students basically abhorred. What was she supposed to think? That's what bothered her the most. The fact that she wanted to know what the world asked her to think. But nobody would answer for her that question. She couldn't ask her dad or Kurt because they were too biased. She couldn't ask her mommy because well, apparently, she was medically crazy. Who was left? Her teacher? Well, she was in Boston, and still, she had been wrong before. She couldn't believe a word she would tell her now. Wasn't she supposed to be always right?

She couldn't ask her friends also. They were 4, just like her. Well, the thing is, there were not quite like her. She always knew she was smarter than them. Maybe it wouldn't be wise to ask people less developed than her. Well, that left her alone to figure out that stuff.

So what people wanted her to do? Because frankly, she didn't know what she wanted herself. So it would be easier if she could just conform to what people wanted, right? They would be happy, proud of her, right? She wouldn't get into trouble, right?

But the world was a confusing place. They just couldn't make up their mind already. Some though that men loving men or women loving women were a sin. Just ask the priest at the Sunday church her mom made her go too. But then again, she though that he wouldn't be pleased to hear that her mom had a kid out of marriage.

And then there were people like his father, who not only though that it was ok, but was actively experiencing it. Well, not actively. He experienced it for some time sure. Like a long time ago. And well, like right now also.

Did it go away? Can you love men and the suddenly love women and back and forth again? Because it was possible, then, some hope was possible that her daddy would be back with his mommy? Wait, would he want to go back? Could he forgive his mommy like a good Christian? Well, she didn't want to be mean, but he was already kind of not really a Christian because he loved other men, which according to father Patterson was a sin. So, why would he care about forgiveness and being Christian when he was already doomed?

Was he doomed? Dianna didn't want to believe so. After all, he was her father and she related to him. She saw him like his hero. Her hero can't have flaws. And what was his sin, after all? Loving an other human being? Loving Kurt? Being loved by Kurt? What was wrong in that? Maybe because they couldn't have children. That's what the priest and her teacher had said : only men and women could have children? Why so? After all, it's when people loved each other very much that they could have children, right? That's what they said. Well, obviously Kurt and her dad did love each other very much, that much she could tell. The way Kurt looked after her daddy and the way her daddy looked at him reminded her of how her mom looked often to him and her. So, if they loved each other very much, and if they tried hard, they could have kids right? If it needed proof, just look at Mary and her two mommies.

But the point wasn't really if Kurt and her daddy could have kids, though it was really something she would have to think about in the future. The point… what was the point really? Wow, she was confused. Let's rewind. Ok her daddy wasn't her daddy. Right, that was the bigger problem. She started to feel suddenly panicked when she though of someone actually coming to take her away from him. Could they do that? Could a policeman come and take her to her mommy, or other people because her mommy was crazy and they would probably have her committed into a hospital. She just didn't want to leave her dad, no matter his flaws. He had raised her, he took care of her, could they really ignore all that and just, like, take her away, and put him in jail for stealing a kid who's not his own?

She wouldn't think about that. Or she would start having nightmares. No, she was safe for now with her father. She was going to go away, somewhere where the Boston police, couldn't find her, somewhere in New York. With Kurt. That was scary also. Sure, the man seemed nice, and after all, he was her daddy – what exactly?- but she didn't know him very well. Maybe he was a serial killer!

She sighed. She couldn't think like that. It was silly. The man wasn't a serial killer. He was nice enough to take them, she, and her dad. Why was that so, by the way? Was he trying to befriend her? To win her over? Like over her mommy? So she could choose him over her mommy, and her daddy could live at peace with him? That, she wasn't sure if it was ok. She didn't know him, and she didn't want him to be his second daddy, for now. She still had a mommy. Sure she was crazy for the moment, but she liked to believe that that she would get better and regret everything she did. Like nothing happened. That would be really a mess if she went to live with Kurt. For sure, they wouldn't ask her opinion. They never asked her anything! That wasn't fair! So not fair! Why? Because she was a 4 year old, that she didn't understand? That it was matters for grown up people?

She just wanted to rise, and shout very loudly that she was also her, and she had feelings too! She's not just some casual damage that would hold her parents mood swings. If they were angry, they would just crash with her into a wall. And then when things got better, she would get dragged along to a new city, a new future, with a new person. She wasn't an emotional package that they could drag along!

What was the point of thinking all that stuff, anyway. No matter her own personal feelings, she would end up ending doing what they wanted her to do. They would oblige her to feel what they wanted her to feel. It wasn't about pleasing them anymore, or fitting into a model. It would be because she would have no choice. God, she hated being a kid! She had so many questions, none she could ask to the men in front of her, and she knew that somehow she would never get the real answers, the truthful answers she wanted. She would just get the answers that were appropriate for her age. Who decided anyway what was appropriate for her age or not?

When they finally arrived home, when Kurt showed them their room, before quickly making sure than none of them were hungry, when she finally put her PJs on and lied down on the bed with her father next to her, she realized that she had just spent 3 hours thinking about problems in her life that would be resolved by everyone but her. She was after all just a spectator in her own life, where people came and went, acted and resolved and she just had to witness the final result. With a smile, s'il vous plait.

*********

When Blaine woke up the following morning, it took him more than a minute to remember where he was, and especially why he was here. Why he was in a estranged bed, with his daughter curled up next to him, her tiny arms around his waist, like she was holding him in fear that he would disappear if she let go. But her expression was peaceful and he, at least, thanked god for that. His poor baby had been through so much in the last 2 days, so he was glad she was still able to sleep without having nightmares. He couldn't say that much for him. He had had some bad dreams that night, but he was sure that it wasn't what had woken him up. Nor the aching pain that was eating his brain alive. Like a fucking hangover. But he hadn't drink the night before. In fact, as soon as they arrived at Kurt's apartment, they just went to bed. Kurt just directed them toward the bedroom without a single word if good night. They hadn't talked about the giant elephant in the room,. The L word that Kurt pronounced. The word he had been dying to say all this time. The word that meant the world for him. The only thing that reassured him that what he was feeling toward Kurt wasn't just a pure product of his imagination.

He had been overwhelmed to hear it, much more than he though he would feel. After all, he was sure than Kurt loved him after their talk, yesterday. But it was something else to actually hear it. Not that it changed anything.

No actually, as much as he wanted it to be the other way, that didn't change a thing. They loved each other but nothing else was resolved. He was still in the biggest mess ever and Kurt, no matter what had been said between them was going to help him. Right? He was going to, there was no way Blaine could handle it alone otherwise. Kurt was his rock, his everything. He had given him a roof, a hope when he had none. He had taken him in his home, with his daughter, to be safe.

That's where he was presently. He was in the spare bedroom of Kurt Hummel where he had spent the night, reminiscing this thoughts, until he fell asleep at sometimes around 3. He felt still so tired, and slowly, with precaution, worrying about not waking up his daughter, he turn around to see the time on the alarm clock. 10:13 am. Way to early for Blaine, when he wanted nothing more than to seek more profoundly into the bed, and forget about the rest of the world.

But a sudden knock on the front door startled him. That's what had woken him up in the first place! He remembered now hearing the same sound, in what he though was a dream, along with people shouting. People who were currently talking loudly from the other side of the wall. He considered getting up and go to the door to ask whoever those people were to just shut it up and let them sleep, regardless of who they were. He barely remembered that he wasn't home, already getting up, before he heard Kurt's quick footsteps beating him to the front door. The door unlock and the chaos got released.

Kurt was half asleep when he opened the door. It was mostly the annoyance of the knocking sound that had made him finally get up and walk to open the door. He was going to say to those people, who ever they were, to just go back from where they came and leave them the hell alone. He didn't care what time it was, or anything, it just wasn't acceptable that those people were to break his door. He didn't quite recognized their voices, as they were shouting unintelligible stuff, half awake as he was. But not for long.

As soon as he opened the door, a veritable chaos erupted, like he just marched into hell. Hands grabbed him, and arms pushed him, urging him to stand aside, and no less than 5 people entered his home, not caring about his protests. It was only when he turned to face him, that he actually recognized them. He shouldn't have been surprised really to see Mercedes, Sam, Finn, Rachel and Wes, standing in his hallway, with different expression of anger upon their faces. They were truly furious at him, without even saying a word. And suddenly, he was totally awake, ready to face them, to fight them if necessarily. Because he knew that there would be a fight. That he would have to explain his choices, to them, to others, but mostly, he would have to explain it to himself. Was he ready? He wasn't sure of that, but it's not like they were giving him any possible delay.

"White boy, you better have some damn good explanations for missing the show and freakin' disappearing on us without answering your phone or/and your girl!" Mercedes was angry, but Kurt could tell that she was also concerned for him. She was studying him from head to toe, and he wondered what she saw. Sure, he must have looked like hell, his hair super messy and his skin non-moisturized. He must have had some pockets under his eyes, because of the sleep deprivation he was under for at least a week. But somehow he though that it wasn't was concerned her the most. She didn't got the time to ask, thought, as Rachel took her clue to start yelling.

"Kurt, do you know what you have done. Do you understand what might have happened if Ian hadn't been ready? You could have jeopardized all of our careers. Even with my immense talent, it could not have been enough. We're lucky that Ian was good. Not as good as you, but still, we had to manage."

Before Kurt could respond in any form, Wes took over.

"Kurt, I know you don't like me bossing you around, but it was fine when you actually did your job! I don't fucking care if your Ant is sick or your cat is dying, I'm still your boss, and I need a fucking good reason if you decide to not show up. Hell, I even decide if you cannot show up! I can fire you if want, and after what you just pull on me yesterday, hanging up on me, and not answering my following calls, I seriously consider the idea!"

Kurt just got the time to open his mouth, without any actual sound coming from it, before Finn tried to talk in order to calm everybody down.

"Jeez, relax I'm sure the man has a perfect good reason for not being here. Besides Broadway is his life, maybe it was really urgent"

"I don't care! I don't fucking care. He can tell me whatever the reason is, unless he's dying or got hit by a car? You didn't get hit by a car, did you? Apparently you're not nor dead, nor dying, so what the fuck is wrong with you? Huh? "

Kurt kept looking at him mouth hanging open. Maybe it was his clue to talk, because apparently everybody had shut up and was waiting for him to answer an apparently easy question. Well, that was the problem. The question was everything but easy. What had he been doing really? How much was he allowed to say? How much could he say, in his own interest? How could he explain his actions when himself, hadn't took the time to think about it?

He was still processing the though, and his friends were still waiting, hanging as every breath, for him to say anything, something, that would make everything clearer, better. But the answer didn't came from him. It just couldn't. Because it wasn't about him. It was all about the other man. Blaine was the only one who could explain it all, make sense into everything. And so he did.

"Sorry, guys, it's all my fault"

To say that it was the least person they expected to come out from Kurt's room in only his underwear and a marcel was an understatement. The shock that spread into their faces as they spun around to see Blaine standing behind them, was almost comical. They got silenced to death as they watched in disbelief the half asleep man standing in the room, casually, as if he had always been there. Well, almost like he used too, when him and Kurt made only one. Mercedes raised her finger to point at him as if she didn't really believe his presence, but other than that, didn't manage to actually say a thing. Rachel had a similar expression of shock, with her mouth hanging open like a goldfish, in a very unattractive way. But who cared? The other 3 men were as dumbstruck as the ladies, Finn more confused than he had ever been. But for once, he was glad that at least he wasn't the only one. He turned to look at Wes and Sam, who just shrugged, unable to explain to him anything.

Kurt turned to Blaine, his eyes urging him to say something. To explain it all. But apparently, Blaine hadn't think over his dramatic entrance. He was as lost as the others, not sure how he should proceed.

They didn't know how long they actually stayed silent, just looking at each other, shocked by the vision of two men sharing the apartment, trying to figure out what might have happened. It was clear that each of their friends were building multiple scenarios in their head, which could explain it all. Mercedes had the more vivid imagination. She didn't want to believe that Kurt had actually forgiven Blaine and had let him come back into his life. How could he after all that happened? She had witnessed her friend depression after Blaine left, and she had felt his pain as if it was her own. And truly she had been as hurt as he was, not only because it was heartbreaking to see her best friend broken, but also because she had deeply cared about Blaine as a friend. She had cursed him, and wished everything bad in this world when he had left. But as she had admitted to her friends earlier this week, she still had hope. She couldn't believe that the man would just go away without any good reason. Even a blind man could have seen how Blaine was smitten about Kurt, how they were each other's everything. Sometimes it was almost sickening to watch, but she had never felt sicker when they was nothing left. She had tried to help her friend as much as she could but she knew that she could never fill the gasp that he had left in Kurt's heart. But she still tried. And Kurt did get better. Well, in the process, he had changed a lot. It was hard for him to make new friends, and he didn't trust anyone anymore. He was too afraid to be left again or disappointed. She knew it even if he couldn't admit it himself; She knew that every time he got involved with some guy, he tried his best to stay emotionally unattached, and terminated things before it got too intimate. He always blamed the other guy, found him a flaw but she knew it was because he was just too scared to feel and be hurt again.

But somehow she had hope. That someday she would wake up and realize that it had been just a fucking nightmare. That Blaine would be here, would come back, and Kurt would come back to the way he was. And her dream realized, just not the way she had planned on it. Blaine did resurface, but she never though she'd be so unhappy to see him again. Because it was now even more painful for her friend. She knew of course that he still loved him, but it didn't matter. It brought back so many bad memories that he had tried to left behind them, and she just wished that her dream would never got realized.

But it did, and now, Blaine was here! In Kurt's apartment, in his underwear! What the actual fuck was happening? Did Kurt, her Kurt, the man who was so strong and courageous, just forgive him? Let him back into his life, just like that?

"Oh, Hell to the no!"

They all jumped in shock at Mercedes sudden burst of rage. She was still pointing at Blaine's chest, but now it was more menacing than anything else. But she had sat on the couch's arm, as if she was too shaken to hold herself on her feet.

"Cedes, it's not what you think…" tried to explain Kurt, in an almost begging voice. He glanced at Blaine, more desperate than ever for him to explain it all. But they didn't want Blaine to explain, they wanted him! But Kurt had lost all his diva manners, all his best words. He was as confused as them, because truly he had no explanation of his actions. He only knew that when Blaine called crying, he started acting, and forgot about thinking. He just went to help him, and brought him back, without really thinking if it was the best idea. What it would mean for him, for his life, for his future. He just took it one step at a time, without looking ahead. And now, he realized what a fool he had been!

"Dude, you better explain to me why the guy is doing here, because, I swear, on grilled Cheesus, that I will kill him otherwise!" Finn had came to the point where he just didn't tried to explain it to himself anymore. He was confused, and that was it. But he was also angry. Angry to see the man that had broken his little brother. The man that left him, Finn, trying to patch up the pieces, and failed. It had been a test to see if he could take care of his brother and he had failed again, just like in High school. And Blaine, was now a constant reminder of his failures. And that was just more than he could support.

"Finn, please calm down." Kurt took his brother's arm who did look like he was judging to best way to terminate Blaine, and made him sit on the couch. He wasn't really willing too but he did what he was asked. "Everybody, just please sit, I'll explain everything"

Everyone looked at him in disbelief as if they were not sure if Kurt's explanation would make anything ok, but they still did what they were told, their eyes locked on Blaine, who wished something could burry him six feet under, right about now.

"You" said Kurt, turning to Blaine, "go put some clothes on, and get back here quickly. You've got some stories to tell".

Blaine didn't need to be asked twice. He ran to his room, leaving Kurt and his friends judging each other. Oh god, what a mess! What had been thinking? That he could come here with Kurt and everything would be ok? What an idiot! Besides Quinn had warned him it would happen. But he never though it would be so soon. When he got back to the room, he saw that Dianna was apparently still sleeping. God bless her age and her ability to sleep through anything. It was a pain when they had to wake her up for school but now, he wished she could continue to sleep like all day. Because there was no way that he would be able to deal with her on top of the others. Others, who by the way were still waiting for him, to come up with a perfect explanation. I knew they waited more than just the reason he was here today. They waited for him to make amends, to explain his behavior for the past 5 years, even though he was sure Kurt had told them the story. Or did he? But it didn't matter because he felt that he would be marching to his own trial, with no chance of ever winning. No matter what he would say, they had already made up their mind about the guillotine.

That wasn't something that he was looking forward to face, but he obliged himself to turn away from his daughter's sight and quickly put a some jeans and a shirt on, after rumbling in his bag. He owed Kurt to be quick.

Kurt, who, while Blaine dressed himself, was attacked in every way by his friends.

"White boy, don't tell me that you two …" But Mercedes didn't finish her sentence because everyone knew what she meant by it. She couldn't finish it either because the possibility was too much of a … well… a nightmare, maybe?

"No! No, I swear nothing like that happened!" said quickly Kurt, before they could assume anything else.

"You'd better not Hummel, or I will cut you both!"

"There is no need, Mercedes" Blaine had reappeared into the living room, freshly dressed but still very uncomfortable. For what it was worth, he might have been naked, with all the eyes scanning him from head to toe.

"You" said Wes, pointing to Blaine, "sit and explain. Or god help me, I'll smash your head with my gavel. Oh yes I kept it" He took it from his pocket and pointed it to Blaine, who eyes popped out. "I was planning on using it on Hummel, but you, deserves it far more."

"Oh, shut up, Wes!" sighed Kurt

"Yes, shut up Wes" added Sam. "Shut up everyone. Let those two speak. Maybe we will actually understand what's happening here!"

"I don't care! How could you forgive him, Kurt?" started to shout Rachel, almost crying. "How could you after everything he put you through? Did you forget that he left you like a piece of shit? Did you forget how you looked when he went away? How you couldn't eat if nobody forced the food in your mouth? How you refused to get up from bed for months? How you didn't talk anymore? How you'd just lock yourself in a room a cry? Do you remember? Because, Kurt, if you don't, well I do! Because Kurt, I did too. I did cry when you cried. I even stayed in bed with you for days comforting you. Hell, we all lived it too! So Kurt, don't tell us to shut up, don't tell us that it's not what we think, because you have no idea what we think! You have no idea how much I want to punch him, kick him, and make him cry for what he did to you. For what he did to us all! Because Kurt you were never the same after, and we were never the same together! And it's all his fucking fault! He's a freaking curse! "

Nobody knew how to answer to that. They had never, never seen Rachel loose her temper like that. Sure she was very determinate girl, but she had never been so emotional about someone like that. Not even Finn. She had never cursed or blamed someone to misery like she just did. And that shocked them all. They just stared at her, eyes wide, even her husband, while she began to grasp what she just had said. She suddenly buried herself into Finn's chest, and started crying her heart out. Finn put his arms around her, and flicked the most disgusted look ever to Blaine. But before he could say anything, a tiny sleepy voice, raised behind them.

"Don't say that about my daddy! He's a good man!!!"

********

Their head spun to see where the voice came from. In front of them, stood a little girl, that could not be over 4, in her PJ's, her blond hair all over the place, eyes red and swollen, looking scared by the people in the room. If Blaine's apparition had shook them, it was nothing alike when they saw her. Rachel's head raised from where it was buried too look in complete awe at the baby girl in front of her, like she had never seen a child in her life. Mercedes forgot what she was about to say, and just stared at the teary kid who run into Blaine's arms, completely panicked. They all went silent once again, trying to understand what the hell was happening again.

"Ok, who's that?" asked Finn, eventually, snapping from his surprise

"Finn, everyone, that's my daughter Dianna" said Blaine, rubbing his hand over his daughter's hair, trying to calm her.

"Huh?"

"Never seen a kid before Finn?" snapped Kurt, who started to get really angry at his friends behavior. Sure, he didn't tell them what happened, but it was not a reason to burst into his home, and start attacking him and Blaine, like that! They didn't even let him the time to explain himself, for god sake.

"Ok dude, don't play smarty on me. We are just trying to protect you and you are being a bitch. If you want to ruin your life, fine, we'll live you alone!" shouted back Finn, raising his hands in the air.

"Calm down you two." Said suddenly Sam. He didn't want to get involved too much because he was way too confused to actually make into words his thoughts and fears. But now the situation was getting out of hand, everybody on the edge of loosing it. He needed to remain the calm one, the strong one, before it got too messy. Especially that there was a young girl involved now. By the way, what the hell, was she doing here?

"Huh… Kurt" begun with precaution Rachel, "What are THEY doing here? Did you steal a kid or what? "

"It's a long story…" sighed Kurt

"Now, white boy, I don't care. We have all freaking day and you, my friend, ain't going nowhere before you tell us everything!" Mercedes wasn't used to be left in the dark and she certainly didn't like it.

"Please don't hurt my daddy" asked suddenly Dianna, holding her head from her father's chest and turning to look at everyone of them. Her tone was pleading and it was heartbreaking to see how scared she was.

"Nobody is going to hurt your daddy, sweetie" tried to comfort her Kurt. He tried to grab her hand, but she pushed him away.

"They are! These people, your friends, they are. They said they would! There are mean people! " Cried Dianna, despite Blaine's desperate attempts to make her relax.

"Shit" mumbled Finn. "listen, Dianna, I'm sorry, I won't hurt your daddy. I was just mad, ok? I won't hurt him. Don't worry."

"You promise?"

"Yeah… I promise" groaned Finn, against his will

"Ok. And the rest of you"? asked Dianna with an unsure voice, turning to look at Rachel and Mercedes.

"We promise " said in the same time the women. Mercedes added: "I promise that no one will touch your daddy, ok? We are going to behave ourselves. Can you forgive us for being mad?"

Dianna seemed to think it all for a minute, before she finally responded : "Ok I guess it's ok then. I think I'll go change, and after that, we all gonna take a brunch, because I'm starving."

And on that note, she left the room.

"Ok, Can I say it? ….What the actual fuck ?" asked Wes, as soon as they heard the girl close the door of her room.

"That was my daughter, Dianna" repeated Blaine, because apparently that was all he could think about.

"Already said that, dude. Good, she's your daughter. But what the hell are she doing here? Better, what are YOU doing here?"

"He's here Finn, because I asked him to come." Finally said Kurt. He was well aware by this point, that Blaine was incapable to explain anything, and that he should it himself quickly, before they would all snap on him. He was going to be able to hide anything from them, as much as he wanted too. He was cornered against a wall, and there was no escape. His only chance was to talk when he only wanted to make them disappear.

"Ok, but Why? Why would you do that when he…"

"I know what he did, Rachel, please stop reminiscing the past"

"Stop reminiscing the past? Stop reminiscing the past? Are you crazy or what? Do you hear yourself Kurtie? That's ridiculous. We reminisce the past because that's what Blaine was! The fucking past ! Not your freakin present!"

"Listen Cedes, some stuff happened and I just couldn't ignore it. I had to help him!" yelled Kurt like he was begging them to stop harassing him.

"What stuff?" asked calmly Sam

"...."

"Huh?" asked everyone at the same time surprised to hear Blaine make his ultimate confession, in one long unintelligible sentence.

"What did you just say?" asked Finn, who was starting to believe that after all, maybe it was true, he was really slow and dumb. But it kind of comforted him that no one had the slightest idea of what Blaine had just said, including Kurt. Well, Kurt maybe had no idea, but Rachel apparently possessed the Blaine translate program.

"He said that his wife and him got into a fight and he told her he was gay and she told him Dianna wasn't his kid and she tricked him so he could marry her. And she kicked him out so he called Kurt who joined him there. And then Lisa who was made because of the fight crashed her car with the kid in it. So Kurt decided to bring them both to NY, right?" repeated with a monotone voice Rachel, not really grasping what the words meant.

It took them all a while after that, even Rachel, to the words to sink in. It was almost funny, to see them all process Rachel words as if they were resolving some math problem or something. Finn was even mouthing the words slowly to make sense into them. Kurt was staring at them, in disbelief, wondering if they were all mentally retarded. Blaine held the same expression upon his face, waiting for someone to finally react. The girls were the first to recover.

"Wait, what?" finally snapped Rachel

"Seriously, white boy?"

"Yeah, seriously.'

It wasn't Kurt or Blaine that got to respond, but Dianna who just reappeared into the living room, now fully dressed, and apparently fully aware of what have been said between the adults.

"Now, for the details, and the whole story, can we wait after we eat, because I'm starving and I really to go out. I want food and air, please."

The little girl waited for them to say something, anything, but the adults all hold the same dumb expression on their faces. They kept looking at her, studying her, as if she wasn't really real, as if what was happening wasn't possibly real. Well, air would do them good, that was for sure. If she was too smart for her own good, well, these people, were way too retarded for their own good.

Aware now that nobody would move if she didn't act, she decided to just go the door, and open it, waiting for someone to decide to follow her. They all stared at her a bit more before the tall, giant guy, finally snapped out of his daydreaming and followed her.

"Yeah, food. Good idea. Need refuel to think. Let's go".

They all just shook their head in disbelieve but followed him nonetheless. Yeah, maybe they really needed air and/or food. They never felt so hopeless, so confused in their entire life and the news they just got, made their head spun fast. Yeah, air, good idea.

Blaine, was the last one to go out. He wasn't really looking forward to keep this conversation going, but he knew, that now that the truth was the open, there would be way to avoid the glances and the question. He was still relieved that they knew, but he knew he would regret it soon enough. They would look at him weirdly, and judge him, for what he did. Some might even pity him and he didn't like it. Things had definitely changed between him and the people who used to be his best friends. Even Wes had come to despise him, when the two men were practically inseparable during so many years. It had hurt so badly to see how he though of him now. It hurt to see how every single one of them had blamed him, had cursed him, and had even compared him to a fucking disease. He didn't think he deserved it. Not that much. He had also suffered, he had also cried and locked himself into his room. He had been also miserable. But they didn't care about that. They just cared about Kurt, their friend. Not their ex-friend, Blaine. Everything had changed.

"Quick dude, I'm hungry"

Blaine raised his head to see Finn urging him to close the door behind him, and follow them. He couldn't suppress a smile then. He had been wrong before. Some things definitely remained the same.

**********

The walk to the restaurant was a strange one. Somehow, Mercedes and Dianna got on the top of the crowd, walking next to each other, extraordinarily close for two people who just met. But maybe there was something about Mercedes that was comforting for Dianna, even though she just had been threatening her dad. But she still seemed sincere in her apologies, and truth to be told, Dianna sensed that she could be fun. Mercedes on the other hand, had planned it. She knew that even the little girl was 4, she though she could get more information from her than from the two other men. She could be more willing to talk, and easier to persuade. She wasn't proud to manipulate a little girl but the woman didn't like how her friend acted. She needed to get to the bottom of this mess.

"Are you ok sweetheart? Did you really get into an accident?" asked Mercedes, concerned

"Yeah, but it's ok I have super powers" said the little girl seriously.

"super powers?"

"Yeah, Kurt said so. Because we crashed into my daddy's car and I was fine. So I must have super powers."

"Right. Make sense."

"I'm kidding! Do you really believe that super powers exist ?"

"No, I guess not."

"You're not fun."

"Hey, you're the one who said that super powers didn't exist!"

"No I said I didn't believe that I had super powers, not that I didn't think it existed." Ok, definitely a smarty kid. That should be interesting.

"right".

"So you're no fun cause you don't believe"

"I'm fun"

"No, you're funny."

"What?"

"Yeah, the way you dress, is funny."

"No it's not funny it's fashionable. What do you know about clothes anyway?"

"Enough to know that you look like a zebra, but with colors"

"that's a Technicolor zebra"

"Why are you smiling?"

"Because I heard that before."

"See? I told you so! You're funny looking!"

"you have other comments about my appearance, you hater?"

"Na, but I wanted to ask you something"

"Shoot, it's not like I can stop you anyway"

"How is Kurt?"

"Kurt is nice, he's the best friend you could possibly ask for"

"Yeah, he seems nice. And he loves daddy, that's good I ask. Because Mommy doesn't love him anymore. He needs someone to love him."

"I suppose..."

"But you don't like the fact that they love each other…"

"It's more because your daddy, well… he…he…"

"He hurt Kurt, right?"

"Right."

"Ok but he's sorry. I know he is. Can't you give him a second chance? Are you Christian?"

"Yeah, I am…"

"so you're supposed to believe in second chances. That's what father Patterson says. "

"You're right I guess. I suppose I should forgive him. I'll try, I promise"

"Ok then you're a good Christian. But I have an other question. "

"I'm sure you do."

"You're supposed to forgive because you're a Christian, right? But what happens when what you are supposed to forgive is considered a sin?"

"Huh?"

"Yeah, father Patterson says that men loving men or women loving women are sinners and they will go to hell."

"You shouldn't believe what father Patterson says."

"Yeah, I guess it's still love right? All you need is love, right? Wait, I'm not sure that God said that…."

"Me neither… still, like your daddy says, you fall in love with a person, not a gender."

"Right. But god forbids it. Father Patterson thinks it a sin, and still, you tell yourself a Christian and you say it's ok. So who should I believe?"

"Me, I guess…"

"But father Patterson said that he had been chosen by god. And apparently you did not. So if we are logical your interpretation of the religion is wrong, and he's right…"

"Huh, I guess we have different… huh, styles…"

"I don't understand…"

"Well, to say the truth, me neither. What is your point actually?"

"Is what my daddy doing, wrong?"

"Do you think it's wrong?"

"No"

"Well, that's the most important thing I guess. The rest is between god and your daddy. Maybe they have their own agreement."

"Like a contract. Like when you promise to be good, and in return you get candy?"

"Mhm… just like that… just like candy…"

"Ok. But I have an other question"

"I have the feeling you have a hundred more. Shoot babe"

"Ok, Father Patterson says you can't have kids when two people are from the same… gender… like you say. But Mommy and my teacher said that kids were born when two people loved each other very much, right?"

"Yeah.. right"

"So, if daddy and Kurt love each other very much, can they have kids? Because I don't want that."

"…"

"Because, well, I don't know Kurt yet, and If they have a baby, well, he's gonna be my brother or sister and Kurt my step dad. Wait, can he be, if my dad is not even my dad and if…"

"Wow, wow calm down here white girl. You're killing me"

"Ok, so you say they can have kids because they love each other. But mommy didn't really love the man she was with, when she had me. She said she was drunk. I've seen people drunk. They don't look in love. They look at each other as if they were people to eat. You know, in cartoons, when the Lion sees the man, and imagine him as a steak? And anyone being drunk is a sin also, so how can a kid, can come from that?"

"Huh?"

"Mercedes?"

"Maybe when people are drunk… huh… they think they're in love?".

"So you just have to think it? So my daddy never thought he loved my mommy? That's why I don't have a little sister or brother?"

"Huh, I guess?"

"But if like now, I think I love you and you think you love me, you could have a baby?"

"Huh? What kind of creepy question is that, sister?"

"No, because I feel like someone is lying to me. Are you lying to me Mercedes?"

"Me?"

"Yeah you, because you think I'm too little to understand ?"

"Oh no, sweetheart, I think that ship has sailed with candy on board. Let me tell you that, you're too smart for you own good.".

"Heard that before. That's old news. "

"good for you"

"I feel like I'm 8. And you act like a teenager."

"I'm 16 then. So twice your age. I know better"

"You won't answer my question, right?"

"huh.. non… dear god no, I ain't sign up for that"

"So next question…"

"Can you just lay down on the questions, please? "

"No, not until we go eat."

"shit."

"don't swear. Daddy says it's bad to swear"

"Well, I want to hang myself but I can't, so I swear."

"you're way too dramatic."

"Heard that before, old story."

"Good for you. Now, next question"

"are they gonna put my mommy in a hospital for the crazy and take me from my daddy?"

"What?"

"My mommy is crazy and my daddy is not my daddy right?"

"But he is…"

"No, she said he's not, but I still love him."

"Of course you do."

"But I love my mommy too and I know I'm not supposed too."

"Why not?"

"Because he hates her and she's crazy, duh. But even if she's crazy, I still love her. But I want to please him. I want to be able to react the way he wants me too. Because he knows better."

"No, you're supposed to act the way you want to. You're not supposed to please your daddy or anyone else, babe. Hell to the no. your job, like a wise man said once, is to be who you are and your parents job is to love you no matter what."

"No matter what? And if I do something bad, wrong, like if I grow up and get drunk, does he have to support me?"

"Huh… no?"

"So I have to do what I want without trying to please the others, but I still have to please them?"

"Huh, Yes?"

"You're confusing. I'm confused."

"Believe me, I'm too, babe"

"That's a confusing world"

"Amen to that Sister!"

They high fived.

"Ok next question… Well, you didn't answer my last one…"

Mercedes sighed. Why the hell did she though talking the girl was a good idea again? One thing for sure, she would think about it twice before she would sign up for having kids. The aching pain in her head said that it wouldn't be for right now, or the next five years.

*******

A few steps behind them followed Blaine and Wes. It was a way less civil conversation, as Wes was clearly still angry with the man.

"Fuck Blaine, what are you doing here? You know, I don't care what happened to you, if you have fucking good reasons! Good for you, bad for you, whatever. But Blaine, you have no right to come back like that in Kurt's life, with all your problems and emotional luggage!"

"Wes, please…" almost begged Blaine, for Wes to listen to him. Not only it hurt him more, but it started to make him angry to see all these people not caring about him and keeping blaming him like he had no feelings. Yeah, he felt like shit, he felt bad, that was enough!

"Blaine, I was your best friend! Your fucking best friend, with David! And you just betrayed me, as you betrayed Kurt. I'm fucking mad ok?"

"How is David? You two are still together?" snapped back Blaine, before he could refrain himself.

"Fuck you Blaine. We are not together, and we were never been. David is married with a lovely woman, and is madder than me at you, if possible. He though more than once about taking my gavel and follow to the end of earth to put some sense back into you"

"Still obsessed about this gavel, Wes, I swear there are some therapy groups for that kind of stuff, man, you should get informed."

"Fuck you!"

Blaine kept teasing him, being mean at his former best friend. He knew he was being a bitch, that he had no right of doing that. That he should just shut up and taking it all in like a man. But he wasn't a man, he was just a coward who had always flecked in front of problems. He flecked or he attacked back. Throwing low blows when he should be humble.

*********

Behind them, Sam, Finn, Kurt and Rachel were bickering like old ladies.

"Kurt, what where you thinking! You can't allow Blaine to come live with you!"

"I don't know Sam… I really don't…"

"Well, you should have!" Yelled Rachel "You should have though about it! I'm not saying you should have hung up on him when he called you, but you shouldn't have either went to get him and made him and his daughter come back with you!"

"Yeah, dude, you owe the guy nothing! Stop being so chev… like a knight or whatever!"

"It's called being Chivalrous, Finn." Sighed Kurt

"Whatever dude. My point is that you can't go rescue people, and especially Blaine!"

"After what he did to you, how can you? I mean it's like every time you see him you go blind and deaf and forget about everything else but him. You just run to him like a good puppy trying to please him. I'm sorry but it's true Kurt!" added Rachel, out of control

"Yeah, and the thing is, dude he knows it. He knows that's you will freaking be there for him. Always. And he takes advantage of that, dude! He just packs his stuff, run away with his daughter and comes to lean on you, expecting you to take care of everything!"

"doesn't ring a bell Kurt? It's exactly what he did with his wife. He run away from you because it was too much of efforts to make things better, to hang on, and just went into the arms of an other woman, expecting her to make things better, easier!"

"I know dude, that he has been through a lot, I'm not insensitive! Don't you look at me like that Kurt, I'm not! As much as I want to deny it, yes the guy had been through a lot, and maybe, maybe, you don't hate him that much after you heard his story. But Kurt, you are not supposed to run rescue him when he calls you crying! You can maybe, maybe comfort him, like… a friend… and even, maybe, advise him to take a lawyer or something, and even, maybe but in last result, suggest him to come to NY, to change scenery, but not at your freaking place! Not at your home! Can't he take a hotel, he and his daughter like freakin' everybody else?"

They continued aggressing him from all parts, but Kurt stop listening. After all, they were pretty much repeating themselves, always coming back to the same point. And Kurt, had gotten the point. Oh yes, he did! He was starting to realize, that maybe what he did was not at all the best course of action. That maybe he should have though about it a bit more, before leaping into it. He should have listened to Quinn, he should have called his other friends, Mercedes, Rachel, Finn, because they were so much less prejudiced. Because like they said, he had been blind. And since the moment Blaine had called, he didn't think a moment to grasp what it all meant for him. If he would be able to survive being Blaine's friend, mentor and rock? Better than that, did he really had to do it? Apparently not, because he owed him nothing. Nothing if not the truth. And the truth… What was the truth? The truth maybe was that he had no fucking idea what he was doing. He though that he could handle everything but maybe he couldn't. He though that helping Blaine could maybe a sort of redemption. Because he did felt guilty in that mess too. Maybe doing something so selfish, would bring him good? He was never a man of faith but he believe in destiny. Well, actually, since he met Blaine. But now he realized that there was a line between destiny and blindness. He was being blind, just going with the flow, not taking the time to ponder his actions. He was like the fool who just followed the masses and was manipulated by others. By Blaine? Was he really manipulated. Maybe Blaine didn't do it on purpose but still, they were right, he was taking the best of him and Kurt was letting him. And what scared Kurt the most, wasn't how the world could see him be such a fool, but how Blaine could be too. And that, he couldn't bear it. He couldn't bear being manipulated like he had always been by others people trying to enjoy his fame. He had always been left afterwards. Blaine did leave him once too. So, who told him, that after all, he wouldn't leave him again? That after taking everything from him, he would just disappear into the shadows again? He wasn't sure he would survive it this time.

*****

They finally made it to the restaurant after what seemed an eternity to Mercedes, Blaine and Kurt. The woman was finally able to get rid of the little girl, who quickly ate some pancakes before heading to the playground in the courtyard. Maybe she had sensed that the following conversation wouldn't be something she wanted to be part of. In any case, Blaine wouldn't have let her, because she wasn't big enough to hear what he would tell the others. His story. The whole thing. He knew somehow that now was the time to tell them everything. To make them understand that it wasn't really his choice to leave. That he had been through a lot himself, especially in the past couple of days. That he was beyond sorry for what had happened but he was hurting too. He wanted them to understand that he needed help. That even though, he had done bad things, they should try to forgive him. Or at least, be decent with him. He was only a human being, with his flaws and uncertainties. That he had only done what he though was right at the time. Help his father, be there for his mother and he knew he should have asked for Kurt's help but he really though at the moment that it was the best for him. That he should protect him from all that mess. And after that, everything went too fast. He didn't remember even how he found himself married, with a kid, in a brand new city. Sometimes life just decides for you. But they had to know also, that he never stopped thinking about Kurt. That he had been miserable everyday without him. And when he saw him back, it had been like someone had smashed a gavel upon his head (that line especially, made Wes smirk). That his whole world got shattered and he couldn't pretend living in a lie anymore. Because the truth had been presented in front of his eyes. He couldn't deny it anymore. So when he came back to Boston, he had changed. Oh so much, even his daughter had noticed. And then from there, it all escalated. They yelled, and they cursed each other, and then finally the door kicked wide open. He finally stop denying who he was, and she denied more. She denied him his the only proof of his manhood, his purpose. She denied him the ability to have a child. And then, she emasculated him a bit more when she kicked him out. Oh yes, he had never felt lesser like a man. And the only one who could make him feel like a wanted man again was Kurt. So he called him. He knew he could lean on him, that he would be able to make him feel better. Because, he knew, that he still loved him. Oh yes, he knew just by seeing him in the hospital. He was his constant, his rock. And he just let him took charge of everything because from the moment Kurt answered, he felt home.

He didn't quite admit the last part though. He felt like his friends wouldn't take it well. So he just told them the rest of the story and waited for their reaction, their sentence.

It took them a long time to recover from the story. Mercedes and Rachel had even spread some tears at some point, he could tell, even if they were trying to hide it. He knew there were making their most to try to stay mad at him, but somehow, they couldn't stop being moved by his story. Even pity him. He didn't like the pity. But if it was what it took to have their forgiveness, than he would take it gladly. He had to softened them up a bit so he could stay with Kurt. Because he didn't want to leave the man just yet, he needed him so much.

"Well, As much as I hurts to say it, I'm sorry white boy" finally said Mercedes. She had a m�lange of expression upon her face : sadness, pity and something that looked like the determination that Rachel often wore. The determination of not letting herself get fooled by the man. She knew better.

"Yeah, it sucks dude, especially for the daughter part" added Sam, because well it was something he could understand. He would have hated to discover that the kid he though he had fathered was someone else's. Not something a man needs to hear to feel confident.

"I'm sorry that your parents were so… huh.. mean to you. I know it must not have been easy. Really" added Rachel, but she didn't stop here. "Still, you must understand that it doesn't make everything ok, right? Because you could have stepped up like a man or you could have leaned on Kurt and/or us. You should have."

"Coulda, shoulda, you can build a whole new world with those words. You didn't. Just understand that even though we understand what you've been through, we still don't trust you, sorry." Said sincerely Wes, gazing at Blaine.

"Dude, Kurt, was Blaine the "friend" you were talking about in your GLAAD speech about loosing his way?" asked suddenly Finn, looking with suspicion at Kurt

"Huh.. I guess… " admitted Kurt embarrassed. He knew that Finn had blown it. No way he could still look unaffected by Blaine, when his brother just admitted that he had wrote a speech about him, in a national convention. Suddenly he was really angry at Finn's stupidity and well, his own also.

Kurt was right. Blaine heard the words and something extraordinary happened inside him. He felt like he had won. Like he had been right all along. Kurt couldn't forget about him and couldn't let him down. He would help him because like he had said, Blaine had lost his way and Kurt could be the one who would show him the way back. Blaine felt suddenly so much lighter.

The awkwardness of the moment got thankfully interrupted as Dianna came back rushing inside.

"Daddy, Daddy, I met this amazing little girl. She's 6, she's super nice, she said she's going to the park, can I go please, please, please, play with her" begged Dianna, with cute puppy eyes. They girls couldn't help but melt at her sight.

"Sweetheart, I can't I'm sorry. I'm tired I want to go home and sleep" sighed Blaine

"But I'm not tired!" whined Dianna

"I'll take her. Just go sleep" said Mercedes before she could think about it. Wait, what? Why did she volunteer exactly? This girl was annoying the hell out of her, so why did she said she would take her to the park? Oh yes, damn those puppy eyes!

"Yeay, thank you cedes!" screamed the little girl, with a huge grin on her face. She ran to hug Mercedes, who immediately regretted her animosity toward her.

"Yeah, we'll take care of her." Added Rachel, looking lovingly at Dianna. "You two just go rest and.. huh… figure stuff out, ok?"

"You're sure? She's quite handful…"

"Yeah, don't worry Blaine. We will look after her" said Sam "you two have a lot to talk about".

As tempting the idea of sleeping sounded, without caring about his daughter, Blaine wasn't totally at ease either. Kurt looked kind of reluctant and even angry. But he knew he would have to face the man someday, and clear the air. He just hoped he would be able to do it after sleeping. But something in Kurt's expression, made him think that he shouldn't dream about it.

********

They finally separated around 2 pm, after having the most awkward and intense brunch known to men. They were all relieved to see the lunch over but they knew this was far from ever. Just like said Mercedes to Blaine, before picking up his kid, when she promised that they would talk again and soon. And in the mean time, he'd better behave or she would cut him. He would gladly believe her. Actually he started to regret a bit coming here, knowing that even if Kurt was kind to help, they would surely make his life a living hell. He would have to find a way to tame these people, before they jeopardized his relation with Kurt. Kurt who already seemed kind of affected by their opinions. In fact, when they separated, he hadn't say a word to Blaine, until they arrived home. Blaine, fearing that he might start to think too that he wasn't worth it, decided to clear the air.

There are moments that define the course of your life. Choices that change everything and turn your word upside down. They may last an eternity or a second. They could be a knock on the door or a phone call. Or even this word, that you knew you shouldn't have said, but you did nonetheless. And then even before you know it, it's over. The moment is passed and you are left to pick up the pieces of your choices. Deal with the consequences. Those are the moments that you reflect upon at the end of your life. Mostly when you wished you could have been able to go back and change them. Not open the door, not answer the phone, not take a plane, and certainly not said that word. But, you did. It did happen, and the rest, as they say, is history.

And maybe Blaine just should have shut the hell up and slept on it. But he did not. And the consequences? Well…

"Something is wrong with you Kurt,"

"News flash: Everything is wrong Blaine. "

"I know but… Whatever… Forget it"

"No tell me Blaine. What do you want to know, what you're dying to ask me."

"Some matters are better left alone. Ignore it."

"There is a hundred pink elephants in the room, I can't even breathe. Ignore it? Sure. You know what you're problem Blaine? You take everything for granted!

"What? But you told me to come with you!"

"Blaine, I'm not talking about that alone. You've been leaning on me from the beginning. You assume that I'm a rock, and I'll keep being your rock, while you whine to everyone. I'll just be the mister nice guy who everybody laugh at."

"Nobody laughs at you."

"Sure. They just thing I'm the biggest fool ever."

"You're not."

"You're the one who profits from it. Of course I'm not a fool to you. But let me tell you Blaine, I'm tired of being the fool. From being laugh at. I can't be your buffoon."

"You're not…"

"Just listen to me Blaine. I don't really know why I'm doing this but I can stop anytime. You assume that I'll support you all the way. That I will be your rock, strong and steady. Well, you're wrong. You're deadly wrong. I am not a rock. I'm a shred of ruins. That's what you left of me."

"I'm…"

"Don't you dare say you're sorry Blaine! How can you say that? Huh? You knew what it would do to me? You knew! Well, maybe you were a fool, but you know now! You know what a wreck I am! And u still finds it normal to lean on me? U knows what it takes me to be how I am now? All calm and able to think and shit? Well, I don't even know myself but I just feel like this boxer, so close from being knocked out, and just rise for one final punch before collapsing all together again. Just for the pride. But I'm not even proud of what I'm doing, Blaine. I don't believe in this shit, when someone slaps you on a cheek, you're supposed to turn the other cheek. Well, that's exactly what I'm doing! I'm scourging myself to death because of you, and you take it for granted!

"I don't! I don't take it for granted Kurt!"

"I think you do!"

"Well, I don't. But you know what, I think you're just looking for an excuse for an easy way out! Well, I'll leave and let you go back to your life. Let your conscience in peace thinking that you gave the other cheek and all that crap!"

"Right play the martyr Blaine!"

"Who's playing the martyr, Kurt seriously? I'm not the one who has tattooed diva all over him! "

"Well, just go away!"

"you don't mean it…"

"I don't ? I don't mean it? Blaine, do you have any idea what your come back did to me? I was trying to survive day by day, and I was doing a pretty good job at it, until you came back? SO what, what do you expect? That I'll wait like a good boy that you'll grow tired of me, and that you'll use everything you can from me, and watch you again with all my dignity? I'm no saint, Blaine. I can't even think how I will handle if you leave now. Because, fuck Blaine you came back. You showed yourself again into this world. I know you're here, that you'll be here somewhere, but it won't be with me. I won't be able to fool myself by thinking that you don't exist. Now, I know you do, and you just don't want to be with me?"

"that's what you think Kurt? That I didn't wan to be with you?

"what tells me that someday, somehow, you'll just find it easier to go back to Lisa, to your old life? That because, she's so concerned about her image, that she won't tell a thing, you'll just go back to her? That you will work out something with her, and you'll be one big happy family again? That I'm just gonna be left alone once again, like the poor fool I am, like Alice waking up to realize that it was just a fucking dream!"

"how can you think that Kurt? How can you still think that after everything?"

"After what Blaine? After what? That's what I don't understand! What keeps you here now? What could possibly keep you here now that couldn't keep you before?"

"You, Kurt! Every thing about you!"

"what me? I'm still the same one that you left on the first place! Hell, I'm not even the same. I'm worse! I'm the ruins of what I was! What good can keep you then?"

"Kurt, you're everything! Now and then. You're everything and so much more than me.

"Don't go playing the victim!"

"I don't play anything Kurt! You're so much more than me! You're brave and all the things that I'm not. I've been telling you to have courage and you took the advice I never could apply to myself. I've always run away! Always! When I was bullied, I ran away. When my dad was sick I ran away. I keep doing the same fucking mistakes! And I see you, so proud, so sure, so brave that I say to myself that I don't ever deserve you. Because you fight for you and you fight for you and me fight for us. And all I ever did was run!"

"Don't decide what is best for me! You have no fucking clue what I deserve and what I don't! Clearly I'm just a fucking lady boy who's not good enough, who can't be trusted enough that people just run away. I'm just a fool who dates because it can brings him so kind of reassurance. You know, what it has been for me those past 5 years? You know what kind of guys I've dated? Just assess who wanted nothing but share my hour of glory. And you know what? I knew it and I let them, because it just felt good to feel special, if not for you, than for what I've done professionally. Because it had never been for me! Never. They came and went, like you came and went. I'm just a shallow man with a image to date. That's what left of me anymore!"

"And you know what Blaine. It's ok, I've came to accept it. You left me because clearly you didn't need me as much as I did. Other came and left as their needs changed also. It's ok. I know that now!"

"Fuck Kurt don't say that! I needed you! I've always needed you and I'll always need you! But I was a scared coward who just didn't realize the chance to have you in my life. I got sacred and run. But fuck, Kurt, I needed you and I realized it too late. A day didn't pass when I didn't think about you 24/7. You were in my every though. I compared you to everything. And Kurt, nothing, absolutely nothing compared to you. Nothing made me feel the way you did, and you still do. I was still feeling but it was like I felt just a small portion of what I should have felt if I was with you. I was just a piece! Fuck Kurt, I'm a piece without you!"

"But somehow you completed it with Lisa and Dianna!"

"Dianna maybe. Sure. But Lisa never. And even with Dianna, it didn't complete it all. God Kurt, you have to understand. You're amazing, you're everything to me, and no Dianna, no Lisa, no fucking anyone could ever complete me!"

"Stop being ridiculously dramatic! It's so not you!"

"Kurt, stop trying to pick a fight then! Stop diminishing yourself! Stop fucking say that you're nothing and just an image to date! You're killing me!"

"Well, you almost did Blaine! You almost killed me! And still here I am, like a ghost trying to hold you firm when everything you say just passes me through. People just see through me to achieve a goal, to become something. And you're here, trying the same thing. To recompose yourself. You're taking my last breaths. My last efforts. And I just let you but Blaine, when you'll refill, and be strong again, you'll forget everything you said, you'll forget I even exist, cause I won't anymore, and you'll leave and move one, not even remembering the ghost of your past!"

"Kurt, Damn it, I won't leave, I won't hurt you, I love you!"

"Big deal!"

"…"

"What do you want me to say Blaine? Huh? That everything is gonna be ok? That the fact that you love me fixes everything? That it's enough for me to take my chances and leap?"

" That we will continue where we left off, that we will grow old together and share our own family? That we will share Dianna? That it doesn't matter that she's not yours nor mine legally? That every time I look at you and her, I put myself in the picture, and that's an amazing picture? That I wished so badly to have kids, but now I can't wish anything but having them with you! That's you want me to say? That I imagine this big happy family because Blaine, I can't imagine anything where you are not involved? "

"Because Blaine, I love you. Hell, do you want me to tell you that at this point, I don't even think that you can call it love? You can't get over love, but Blaine, do you want to hear that I never got over you? It consumed me everyday! You consume Blaine, that's what you want me to say?"

"That I will go blind, and stupid, and just forgive. Forget about everything and forget what every one said? Just have some faith? That's what you want?"

"You want to hear how I'm scared because I can't imagine loosing you again? You want to know how I imagine sometimes that you'll leave again and go back to your straight lie, and it scares me so much, it hurts so badly that I know, Blaine, I know, that I won't have the will to survive it. That I might hurt myself just to make the pain go away?"

"Blaine do you understand how much I changed since you left? Do you want to know what kind of cold, and insensitive man I become? But Blaine, if you must know, I don't have a clue what I am anymore. "

"You know what, maybe I'm nothing but yours."

"Do you want me to say it Blaine? I'm yours! I love you, I am one part of a whole that had been so incomplete all this time. A whole that got shattered. I love you, that's it. That's what you wanted to hear? I despise myself for that Blaine, I swear. That I can't properly exist without you, and I can't function properly either with you. So I'm just a fool, waiting for you to decide my faith!"

"Blaine, release me please, because I just can't. I can't get over you, and I can't be with you. Loving you hurts. Being loved by you hurts more. But being left by you can be deadly. Damn you, Blaine, that's what you wanted to hear?"

Maybe it was what Blaine wanted to hear. Maybe it was just because he wanted Kurt to stop shaking him because he was starting to hurt him. Maybe because he was already hurting and had been hurting for the past 5 years. Maybe because he just wanted it to stop, even if somewhere inside he knew it would just make the things worse. But right now, it was just for him the only way. The only way he could make stop Kurt hurting him. The only way he could stop hurting Kurt. The only way it could shut him up, and see finally how wrong he were and how sincere Blaine was. Maybe it was the only way to show him how he still loved him, how he had missed him all this years, how he tough about him almost every minute of every single hour of every day. Tough about his face, his perfect blue eyes that were twisted with rage and anger, and getting deeper by the minute, almost to the point of sinking in them. But he didn't want to sink because of his eyes. He wanted to sink in his lips.

His perfect red lips that he had been dreaming of. At first, he could perfectly remember how it felt to have his lips pressed on the other man lips. It hurt to remember. But later on, it hurt much more when he started to forget. When those lips were replaced by his wife lips. Her common taste starting to shadow his unique taste. It hurt more to forget.

But now he was remembering. Oh yes, he was! He didn't care that Kurt kept trying to push him away or hitting him on the chest with his fists. He couldn't let go. Just not now. So ignoring the other man's protests, he kept pressing hard his lips against Kurt's, his arms tightly wrapping him with no escape possible. He just wanted to make him his, never letting him go away again. It was harsh, it was hard, violent but he didn't care. He wanted to kiss him, to taste him to bite him, to mark him. And it didn't matter that Kurt was mad at him. That he just wanted to be set free. Because Blaine knew better. He knew that Kurt was resisting too strongly to be true. That he wanted just the same thing as Blaine. That he knew also that they were meant to be together. He said it right? So what was the problem?

So he just kept kissing him, still so fiercely to be actually enjoyable. His lips moved suddenly to Kurt's jaw, never fully living the skin. Kurt didn't seem to realize that he was free to speak until Blaine started to suck hard on his skin, half biting him. It was everything but sweet as Blaine suck and bite and left his mark on Kurt's neck.

"Hugh" said Kurt with a strangled voice, having left any hope to actually set himself free from Blaine embrace. " Fuck, Blaine, what do you think you are doing? You're hurting me. Do you understand me? Leave me alone, Blaine, you're hurting me!" screamed Kurt.

"No. I won't. " said Blaine, leaving for a moment the spot on Kurt's neck. It was almost bleeding. "I won't stop Kurt. I need to understand that I won't stop. I won't stop fighting for you. I won't stop loving. I'm here." Said Blaine with a dead serious expression on his face. His pupils were dilated, his face was crippled in so many emotions, he was plain scary.

"Fuck you, Blaine, you're not loving me, you're hurting me! You hurt me like you've been hurting me for 5 years. And you don't even realize it. You want to know what it's like to be hurting? Well let me show you!" screamed Kurt

And the Kurt's lips crashed into his face. They didn't quite reach his lips, but who cared? It wasn't an act of love, but of hurt. Needful hurt. They were kissing each other and they didn't know why anymore. They were just angry. Angry because the other one was blind. Blind that he couldn't realize how much he loved him. Blind of his hurt. How much he wanted anything more than leave him and then never being left in the first place. Was it Kurt or Blaine thoughts in the first place? Did it really mattered? Not really. No one knew why they were really fighting for now. They were fighting the other one. To death. They wanted to hurt him with their kiss, their embrace, and their pain to be loved and to love.

Their mouth were angry and everything but gentle while kissing, sucking into the other one body. Kurt was biting Blaine's earlobe, then leaving his teeth lingering between his jaw and the crook of his shoulder. Blaine's shirt was long gone. Ripped apart. He didn't remember grabbing anything, let alone destroying a tee shirt. But his hands were out of control. His whole body was shaking, in rage, in pain, in need. His hands were grasping everything they could. Blaine didn't seem to mind really. His own fingers were scratching Kurt's back, Kurt's skin living his own mark on the porcelain skin. There were arms everywhere. On Blaine's ass, on his stomach, on Kurt's face, like everywhere. And nothing made sense anymore. They were fighting for dominance, not only through their gesture but they tongues met again, hard against each other, not taking the time to rediscover the other one but to make him fully taste him. Like they were trying to prove a point. The moans that were escaping their mouths were multiplying, and adding only to the arousal of the two men.

They were full of need and hell, they didn't care to be gentle with the other one. Does raping can be mutual? Because it certainly looked like it. Looked like each of them was trying to over power the other. Hurt him more. And they were ok with it. They were fighting over sex, but they were fighting for so much more in the same time. It wasn't logical, as Kurt's started to punch back Blaine, fists clenched on his chest, his mouth still violating Blaine's, as the other men tried to control those raged fists. He was trying hard to get those perfect white hands to get down to his pants, and it seemed that Kurt got the clue. Only this wasn't a surrender, it couldn't be.

"What do you want Blaine?" asked Kurt, with rage. But the lust on his eyes were unmistakable.

"Fuck Kurt, just Fuck!" That's all Blaine could manage to say at the moment. Every fiber in his body was hurting, and still, it seemed like he needed more. So he bite once more into the other man's chest, just above his left nipple, in hope that it would trigger some reaction from the other man.

"Fuck Blaine! What do you want? You want me to fuck you? That's what you want? You want me to fuck you like you've never been fucked for all this time? You want to feel it? " screamed Kurt, grabbing Blaine's face in his hands.

"Yea… Yes… Fuck, Yeah!"

And all hell broke loose. What happened next was more like a blaze. They collapsed together on the floor, not even thinking about moving to the bedroom. After all it wasn't about comfort. They collapsed, Kurt struggling to be on top of Blaine, who may have lost this battle but was not giving up on loosing his own internal war. Could it really hold a winner and a looser in the battle for souls? The logic would see them left in ruin, but for now, no logic, no thinking was possible. So Blaine tightened his legs around Kurt's waists, not willing to let go at any rate. Their groins were rubbing against each other, underneath their pants and both men were heavily breathing, panting, in each other necks, like there was no tomorrow.

"Fuck Blaine! Let me show you how it's done. Let me fuck you. I'll give you what you think you wants! Damn you!" groaned Kurt

The rest wasn't clear. Did Kurt actually managed to free himself from Blaine's embrace, or was Blaine too aroused, to physically and mentally strained to hold himself steady anymore? It didn't matter really because Kurt managed to take off his pants, in one quick movement, along with his boxers. In an other violent and harsh movement, Blaine did the same to Kurt. Both men were naked now but they didn't actually took the time to grasp what it meant. They haven't seen each other so vulnerable for so long, and yet, there was no vulnerability in the air. Just pure need and angry lust.

Kurt lingered his eyes a moment on Blaine's cock, as if he was thinking about taking it fully on his mouth. Blaine noticed, and his whole body arched against his mental will, full of need. But, Kurt noticed too and he just smirked. It wasn't even tease, it was pure torture.

Blaine was on the edge of crying, he just couldn't hold it anymore. Kurt's arms had left red vivid marks on his body, he felt like some bones had been broken also. But that was the least of his concerns. Right now, he just needed to feel Kurt. To be connected to him so badly. To tie himself to him and never let go, and Kurt was fucking hurting him by just staring at him. So his hand grabbed Kurt's cock and started rubbing it. It was hard, it was most certainly painful but he didn't care. He needed to regain control over him.

Kurt didn't think so though. He slap his hand out of the way, because honestly, he was doing more wrong than good. His hard was already enough painful and he knew exactly how to make it better. The fact that he didn't have any lube or anything like that didn't stop him. He just licked his middle finger, and without really much warning, put it completely into Blaine's tight ass.

It was as if Blaine's world had exploded. As if he was dead, and reborn in a few matter of seconds. The surprise, the aching pain and then the incredible feeling of it.

"Fuck, Kuuuurrt" he screamed the other man's name, as if he was his string to life. And truly he was.

And Kurt was already putting an other finger in him. Barely wet. And god it hurt! And Kurt started to scissor his fingers to open up Blaine further, everything but gentle. And Blaine still screamed. But no one knew if it's from the pain or the pleasure. He just kept screaming and Kurt just kept going. They were both a mess by now, but they just kept going. Blaine was reaching suddenly to Kurt's cock and started jerking him off again, with much more force than before if possible. And it was maybe what made Kurt looses it.

And then Kurt's fingers were out and Blaine could have sworn that not a single second had actually passed before he felt Kurt's cock throbbing against his hole. And the moans begun again. And it's all it took.

Kurt pushed himself into Blaine's, his cock only wet by the pre cum. How he released himself from Blaine's hold, they didn't know. And fuck, right know, Blaine didn't care; because he was experience the most horrible and hurtful experience in his life. Kurt was all the way inside him, and before, Blaine could even make a sound, could even make him understand that he might actually die of the pain, Kurt started moving in and out. The pain didn't go away though. And Blaine lost the power of speech. But he knew that he had lost. He had lost the battle, the war. He was at Kurt's mercy, unable to think, to speak, victim of his rape, by the man he loved.

And then Kurt hit his prostate, and nothing, absolutely nothing made sense anymore. He couldn't focus on Kurt's eyes, or the way his lips were deviously smirking, enjoying his pain clearly. It was a vision of pure horror, and still he felt so good. He was hurting from the pain of being abused so roughly and enjoying it so deeply. It was sick.

And Kurt was still thrusting in and out of him, going faster and harder, like nothing mattered anymore but this. Like it was his only chance of survival. To hurt Blaine, or to please him. Hell, he didn't know. All he knew, it's that he needed to make his point, regardless of what the point actually was.

That didn't last long, it figures. Nothing lasted long between them. Only the hurt. And when Kurt came inside of Blaine so hard that he actually passed for a couple of seconds, Blaine followed not long after. Neither of them screamed the other's name. Blaine's power of speech had been taken away from the beginning and only his mouth open with no sound coming out from it. And Kurt just let a harsh strangled scream that might have actually alerted the whole building. And here they were. All bruised for sure, All hurt, and still on post orgasmic high. Was it even possible to feel the worst possible and never been happier in the same time? Well, Blaine did. But jus for a single second.

And then it hit.

And then Kurt removed himself and made the worst mistake. He looked into Blaine's eyes. And it hit. What they just did. What HE just did. How he did it. Why he did it. And it hit, like a million of nuclear weapons over their head. It just explode in front of them.

He's seeing the pain and the hurt, and the fear in Blaine' eyes. And he just can't.

And then Kurt is suddenly back on his feet, not caring a bit about how sore he's feeling, how every bone in his body is aching from pain. Because he's mental pain is way, way worse. Because he just can't stare at Blaine's frozen eyes anymore. Blaine who just lost the ability to think or to feel properly.

"Now you know how it hurts." Blaine heard him though. Oh yes he did. But he would not think about it now. Just not now. He is way too shocked to grasp anything.

But he saw him leave. Run away as if fire was chasing him. From his own home. He runs away like the traitor, the coward, the mad man he is. And leave Blaine hurting on the floor. Oh yes, dear god, yes he knows how it hurts.

Kurt was already closing the door behind him. Fleeing as fast his shakings feet could hold him. He wouldn't want to collapse now. Not just now. He would later where he would be safer. But not now. Behind this door maybe, just in the bottom of the stairs even. Or in the cab, taking him from this raging nightmare. From his own nightmare, from himself.

And both man, one running for his life, one praying to remain in life, were having the same though : "Oh god, what happened? What have I done? "

**********

Inside a room, in a nice apartment, in Manhattan, was a man. A naked man. Laying in pain. He was just laying, legs spread open, as if he was waiting for someone to penetrate him. Or as if he had just been penetrated. Truthfully he had been, and not only in the physical sense of the way. The man was laying, legs open, but he could have stood. His body didn't hurt that much, he could easily get back into his legs. But he was laying, wide open. Like if he was at the mercy of something more powerful, like he had been knocked down by the truth. By the absolute Truth. He was laying because he finally had realized what he wasn't seeing all this time. What hurt meant.

And he wasn't talking about the physical hurt, although he was pretty sure that he wouldn't be able to walk or sit properly for a long time. It would be constant reminder of what happened. Like he would need that! No, now that he knew, he wouldn't be able to forget it. What it felt like to be humiliated. So ashamed of yourself because you were hopeless in front of the life.

But mostly he knew how Kurt felt now. He had seen his anger but also his desperation. He was beyond mad. The man was really ruined. A shred of ruins. That were everything but steady. That they could collapse at every moment and they did. They did collapse on him and buried him. But he had no one to blame. No one but himself. He couldn't breath right now, but it was all his own fault. He had broken Kurt, and he collected now the pieces. The consequences.

He knew that even though he felt so bad like now, like shit, it was nothing compared to how Kurt must have been feeling! Kurt who had lost it, who became a sexual predator, because he had lost himself. Blaine didn't blame him. He blamed himself.

Oh god yes, what a fool, what a stupid horrible man he was! He couldn't find words powerful enough to express how he despised himself now. He even begun to understand the concept of suicide. He had never understood how people could stop having any regard for their life, and just decide to terminate it. But now he did. He felt sick about himself. He couldn't imagine looking at Dianna and imagining what she might see. He couldn't imagine looking at the world and feeling them judging him. But he had too. Because of Dianna, and because of Kurt. Kurt, oh dear god, Kurt!

He had to find him, because if he felt like this, he couldn't imagine what Kurt could think!

He wanted to scourge himself at what he had been thinking about the man. How could he assume that the man could be his rock? That he just could lean on him and expect him to support him? That he would take care of everything and Blaine would just have to go with the flow? Was he really that stupid?

He had hurt him more than anything else, in the process. He had destroyed the few remaining foundations into his life! Fuck me! Fuck everything! What an ass he was, thinking that everything was going to be ok! Well, he got it in the ass!

Blaine tried to get up even though he couldn't feel a single one of his muscles. His whole body was sore, but it didn't matter to him. Not now. Maybe later, he would take care of it. But now, he had to find Kurt. And make sure he was ok. No, strike that, there was no way he would be ok. Just make sure he… he what, exactly? What did he fear the most?

He didn't want to answer or think about this question, right now. He had far more urgent things to do. He reached to take his phone, not caring that he was still fully naked, and dialed the number that would be hopefully the key to his salvation. It picked up quickly.

"Mercedes, hey it's Blaine.."

"Hi, Blaine, don't worry, you don't have to call every five minutes. Dianna is fine with me."

"I know… I just wanted to … Mercedes, let's imagine that Kurt was very angry, where would he go to take his place off things?" And right now, it hit him. Kurt had changed. Kurt wasn't the same man he used to know and he used to live with. The man he used to know everything about until guessing his every needs even before he would realize them himself. No, the man he become was a stranger to Blaine. How could he assume that he could treat him the same? He didn't even know where he could be. What was his secret hiding place in the city? The place only he knew? He had no idea because they had always shared those places before, the places only they knew. And now, Blaine had no clue where could it be. That was small details like that, that could make you realize the biggest changes.

"What the hell did you do again, white boy?" suddenly snapped Mercedes.

"Listen, Mercedes, we just got into a fight and…."

"wait, I know I shouldn't care when my friend is missing, but you sound shaken. Are you ok?"

"Huh… yeah?" Shaken, sure. He was shaken. Only it was the biggest understatement of the century. Shaken, yeah, definitely.

"You sure?" Her voice sounded genuinely concerned

"Yeah, yeah. So Mercedes, any idea?"

"When the boy run away, he often runs into his office and sketch to death, but… I think he might be somewhere else. Let me check and I'll call you back, ok?"

"Ok, thanks, Mercedes"

"Sure, sure"

The minute she hung up, Blaine hurried to dress up. He didn't want to spend any minute thinking of might have happened to Kurt. So he took a towel, cleaned himself, put on his jeans, and went to look for a shirt because, well, the one he was wearing had been ripped open. He threw it because honestly, he didn't need an other reminder of tonight's events. He was marked plenty as it was.

The moment he finally completed his dress up, his phone ringed and he practically threw himself over it.

"Mercedes?"

"Yeah, it's me white boy. I was right. He's not a the office. He's a the theatre. The security officer saw him come in. do you know where it is?"

"Yeah"

"Ok, so I warned security, they'll let you in. And, Blaine?"

"Yeah?"

" Take care of him. I wish I could tell you to back off, but I can't. Nobody can take care of him but you. You can fix him or you can kill him once and for all. So take care of him. Please".

She didn't let him the time to answer before hanging up. She didn't an answer anyway. She needed actions. Not words, but comfort. And no words, no promises could bring her that. She needed to see them look at each other the way they use too. So pure, without any back thoughts. She needed to them healed, and fixed and planning for the future. She needed to see them in peace. Only then, she would be in peace herself.

********

Blaine arrived at the theatre half an hour later, rushing to the door, as if he had been running to save someone from death. Was he not, actually? The security man had been waiting for him, almost bewildered when he was the frenzy Blaine was under. The man was so odd, so feverish, it was almost scary. But the security guard knew better than to ask question. He had seen it all. So when Mr. Hummel had arrived earlier, crying, and shaking, he just opened the door and let him in without asking any questions. When Mrs. Johns called him later one to know where her friend was, he just confirmed her his presence. And when she told him that someone was coming to see Mr. Hummel who looked like he was going to die, he just nodded. And now this strange, frantic man who was running like if death of chasing after him, into a empty Broadway theatre. Artists, always the dramatic ones! He sighed, and closed the door behind Blaine. Still, it wasn't even a good story to tell. Some of his buddy guards could tell you, way better ones, involving Hiltons and dogs. Now, that was something worth leaving his Ohio home for!

**********

As soon as he got inside the theatre, Blaine froze. He didn't know what to do actually. He didn't think that far really. He had just rushed into the theatre, like he had been rushed into everything. He had no freakin idea where Kurt might be, especially since this place was so huge, and it was so dark behind the curtains. He didn't know how he was gonna direct himself into that place. But soon enough, it was like god had heard him and brought down the voice of an angle to guide him. And he just followed, like the fool he was. He followed the most vivid, pure voice he had ever hear, blindly into the shadows of the theatre. He could have followed it everywhere. Until the end of earth. Because he knew this voice. But even if he had heard it so many times before, it hold this time something that he head never witnessed. An emotion that he couldn't think was possible. A surrender to the song who he though no one could accomplish. The voice was the song's mercy.

He kept following the voice, and then, behind a curtain, all was revealed. Indeed, it was Kurt. It had always been him. And Kurt was singing. On stage. On his knees, and his back facing Blaine. He was on his knees, and he was singing. His hands held up high, as if he were praying. And Blaine could tell he was crying. But his voice was still so unique, so beautiful that Blaine could not interrupt. His heart stopped beating and his breath got held. He was just going to listen and learn.

within that final hour you'll

be gone and I wont see you

anymore

You left my love on the line

and said that you were leaving

that you wont come home again

that you wont come home again

And I miss you like your dead

but I never got to greave you

cause I saw you

in the arms of someone new

so your phantom follows me

like a child would his mother

or a lover

who never said goodbye

so this is goodbye

And I cried myself to sleep

and you thought I was happy

I was lonely

and had nowhere to go

and I heard that you moved on

and found a brand new family

and changed your married name

and everything has changed

And I'll miss you like your dead

find a way to greave you

cause I need to

try and start again

and your ghost will have to leave

like a child would his mother

or a lover

who has to say goodbye

so this is goodbye

so this is goodbye

so this is goodbye

so this is goodbye

so this is goodbye

so this is goodbye

*********

And the song ended. And the world must have too. At least their world did. The tiny world that hold them both in this Broadway theatre seemed to take a pause from the madness of life.

Kurt had given up any hope, unable to hold his head anymore. He just let it sunk into his head, still on his knees, and started shaking with all his core. And Blaine? Well Blaine, for once, didn't froze. No, he did not. He moved forward. For once, he stepped up a few feet ahead and took the charge. He called.

"Kurt?"

That was it. He just called Kurt's name, like he used to. Like it was the most natural thing in the world. Calling each other.

And Kurt froze. For only a second. And then he turned away. Slowly but surely. He turned because after all, he had been summoned. By Blaine. He turned just like when Blaine used to call him. And he had always answered. Even now, when they were so close to the end.

When everything broke. Like Blaine's heart when Kurt turned. And he realized now that no, he hadn't known what suffering meant before now. He hadn't suffered before when Kurt left him helpless on the floor. Not really. He may have suffered physically but now, seeing the pain, the surrender in Kurt's eyes was too much to bear. It was too much to hold. And the worst was that Kurt was smiling.

He was smiling. Like a tiny apologetic smile. Like he was sorry. Sorry because of everything he had done to Blaine, but also sorry for letting the Blaine see him like this. So open, so broken. Sorry to be nothing but a broken, crazy, bleeding man. Sorry that he had only that to offer. Sorry that he couldn't get better. He had abandoned every hope to get better and now, Blaine knew. He knew that the ideal man he had been dreaming of was gone. That he had finally let go, stopped fighting. And he was sorry!

Blaine's heart twitched in pain. Because Kurt was apologizing for being weak, just a weak man. For finally being true, and letting Blaine and the world show his true self. There was no more pretending. No more barriers, no more reflecting, it was plain him.

And Kurt though that nothing could hold Blaine anymore. Just because the way he was. So he was saying goodbye. Take care. And mostly sorry.

But Kurt didn't realize was that he had always been plenty. Especially now. Blaine never loved him more than now, when he finally got to see the real him. And he was beautiful just the way he was. He couldn't let him be sorry for that! No way! So in a quick move, he closed the distance between them and leaned next to the man.

"Don't be sorry, Kurt. You have nothing to be sorry for. I am. I am sorry for putting you through all that. I'm sorry that I didn't realize how lucky I was to have you in my life. I'm sorry that I didn't realize that you were the most amazing man ever. The more beautiful. Inside and out. I'm so sorry."

"Don't. don't say that. I'm horrible… I've hurt you" sobbed Kurt, trying to hide his face into his palms. But Blaine wouldn't let him. He put his hands in each side of his face and held his head so he could face him. But Kurt's eyes kept trying to avoid his gaze.

"Don't you dare say you're horrible. You are amazing, just the way you are. You didn't hurt me. I did. And I'm sorry that I made you feel like you weren't worth anything, because Kurt, you are worth everything! Everything! I know I am selfish, but Kurt, please know, that you are my everything. My air, my sun, my sight. And when I lost you, I lost all those things. I'm sorry that I didn't say it before. I was scared, a coward, because I couldn't admit that I was nothing without you. But I am, Kurt. I'm nothing but a part of you, of your love. And I'm sorry for not telling you that. I'm sorry for not telling you that when I look at your eyes, I feel like the whole word is fading away, and that I could just disappear into your gaze."

Kurt finally raised his blue, green, grey eyes and Blaine felt like he was sinking.

"I'm sorry for not telling you that every time you smile, I feel hope. Even when everything is wrong, whenever you smile, I feel like it will get better and I will win it all. Like I could cure cancer just by the joy your smile brings me. Smile for me Kurt."

And he did. It was the saddest smile Blaine had never seen. But still, he never felt more hopeful in his life, that right now. And he knew that somehow things were going to be ok.

"I'm sorry that I didn't tell you that being in your arms make me feel like the safest man on the planet. Like listening to the beat of your heart can calm my every doubts. That I single reassuring word from you can put me down from all my worries. That you are my every remedy and my every answer. That when I see you fight, and shine, I feel so inspired. That I think that I can do it too. That someday I'll be as brave, as courageous as you"

"You inspire me Kurt. You move me. You make me a better man. And I will always love you for that. And that's the only thing I'm not sorry for."

And Then Blaine leaned forward and kissed him. Just a quick on the lips to seal his words. It wasn't a act of need or lust, it was an act of love. And he could taste the salt of Kurt's tears upon his beautiful lips. Because Kurt was still crying. But unlike before, it was more quite. Just tears running down his cheeks, from his beautiful grey eyes. He had shut his eyes, as if he was dreaming. But Blaine needed him to see that he wasn't. That Blaine was here, and he wasn't going anywhere. That he was sorry, and that he wasn't going to say goodbye anymore. Ever again.

So leaned forward once again, and kissed Kurt's eyes. One by one. And put his arms around his waist and hold him tighter. And the he moved slowly to kissing his nose, and his cheeks. He was trying to mark as much love as possible upon his face. Upon his soul. He was holding him and kissing him, and waiting for Kurt to finally let go.

He did. Somewhere between a kiss on the chin and a kiss on the cheek. He raised his eyes to loo, for one brief second at Blaine and then buried his head into the other man's chest. And he let go. He cried and cried, and hold Blaine tighter and tighter. It hurt but Blaine didn't care. Because he knew that bigger pain existed. Kurt's pain. So he just kept holding him even more tighter and rocking him back and forth like a kid. Just like a kid, who needed love and reassurance.

"I won't leave you, I promise. I'm not saying goodbye. I'm here. I promise. And I'm sorry. I love you Kurt. I love you so much" kept repeating Blaine, whispering into Kurt's ears, as the man kept delivering his heart out to Blaine. And there they stayed.

Someone, as oblivious to them as the rest of the world, somewhere, in this theatre of dreams, had shut the few remaining light of the stage, leaving the two men sink into the shadows of the dark.