I sigh as I face the rest of my glee club memebers. "I just, um, freaked out about something. Um, it was just something Karofsky did. He, um just beat me up a few days ago, no big deal. Blaine was just over-reacting," I say, hoping they believe my lie. Right now, all I want is my glass, to feel the relief of the sweet blade cutting through my skin, feeding me my strength and courage.

I press my wrist roughly against my thigh to feel some pressure as Puck says, "Kurt, that's terrible. The guys and I will beat the shit out of you if you want."

I feel fear race through my body and rush to tell Puck that he doesn't need to do that. "Oh, no, no, no. It wasn't that bad, honestly. I don't need you to fight for me." Especially not when he'll kill me if you do, I mentally add on. Puck rolls his eyes at me, but he doesn't argue further.

"Oh, my goodness, Kurtie!" Mercedes says, "That's horrible! I declare we all have a sleepover at your house on Saturday, including the guys. As a... cheer-up kinda thing." I hear a lot of yes's and see smiles after Mercedes' proclamation.

"Ok..." I say, skeptically, nervous about things that may happen. What if I have another nightmare? What if everyone ends up hating it? What if...

"Yo, Karofsky!" Puck yells down the hallway, Finn, Sam, and Mike behind him. Puck knew Kurt didn't want them to beat Karofsky up but he didn't listen. When someone hurts one of his boys, he hurts them back. Karofsky turns from his locker, sneering at the four boys.

"What do you losers want?" He says.

"We heard what you did to Kurt," Finn speaks up, standing confidently for his brother. Little did he know, Karofsky was infuriated by his comment, already devising a plan in his head on how to deal with his victim, Kurt. He lunges for Finn attempting to punch him in the face, but Finn was expecting the blow. Instead of getting hit, he steps out of the way, making Karofsky run into a locker, hitting his head. He turns around, and stares daggers into Finn, but before he can try anything again Puck slams his fist into Karofsky's face, hearing a crack! as he breaks his nose.

"Oh, you're gonna pay for that, Puckerman!" Karofsky exclaims, rushing forward to get to Puck. Before he can do that though, Mike rushes forward and knees Karofsky square in the balls. Karofsky groans in pain and falls to his knees. The boys proceed to kick Karofsky until he screams at them to stop. "I'll stop fighting back! Jeez, just STOP IT!"

The boys laugh as Puck says, "That's what you get, jackass!"

All the while Karofsky thinks, I'll get him for this. Kurt will pay.

I cut myself five more times before I deem my stomach and arms too full to cut more. I move to my hips, slicing open the smooth skin outside my pelvis. The relief floods through my body, but not for long.

Knock, knock, knock!

I hear three loud knocks-more like bangs-on my front door before a "You better open this fucking door right now, faggot or else!" Fear shoots through my body as I hear Karofsky agrily yell at me from outside. There's no place to hide, run, anything. I'm trapped. Basically dead. There's more banging on the door, more shouting, more fear.

I quickly pick up the shard of glass and the bloody bandages before I pull my pants up and shirt on, not bothering with bandages. I scramble down the stairs as quickly as I can and open the door, revealing an enraged Karofsky. I hear myself give a little screams before I run up the stairs to my room. I hear David thunder up the steps and slam open the door. This is it. This is the end. "Your friends say they know what I did to you, fairy," He says, smirking at me. He lunges for me and grabs me by the collar of my shirt. He pushes me up against the door and kisses me roughly. I whimper and he shakes me. "Shut up, fag. I know I told you I'd kill you if you told anyone, but then I got a better idea. I fuck you, you keep quiet this time, and then we'll see if I reward you with another fuck later."

Reward?

I shake my head no, but Karofsky slaps me in the face. I feel tears prick my eyes but blink them away. I will not let this bastard see me cry. "Please, David," I plead.

He smirks again and says, "You asked for it." Then he roughly pulls my pants down and shoves two fingers in my ass. I cry out in pain, and Karofsky laughs. I feel a tear fall down my face and don't bother hiding it this time. All because I'm a weak, worthless fag. I deserve to be raped.

I'm taken out of my thoughts when I feel another one of Karofsky's fingers shoved into me. "Please, stop. Please," I beg, but Karofsky just pushes in another finger. I see him pull his pants down and start screaming.

He roughly puts his hand over my mouth. "Shut up, homo. Keep quiet." I stop screaming and just cry as he shoves his dick in my ass. "Ohhh, Kurt," He moans, thrusting hard. All I do is take it. I know I deserve it. I lied to Blaine, cheated on him, and lied to all of my friends. I'm a dirty queer who doesn't even deserve to live.

I wish David had killed me.

Karofsky thrusts harder and faster into me until he comes. "Fuck, Kurt. Oooh."

Then, he pulls his pants up, drops me on the ground, and walks out the door.

I sigh in huge relief as the glass slices through the skin on my hips, drawing blood. I cut there five more times and then slice through the skin in between my thighs, five times on each leg. Homo, fag, queer, cheater, slut, bitch, fairy, liar, whore, skank. I listed everything I was in my head, cutting myself deeper for each example.

I finish, put the glass in my cabinet and clean myself up. I put a bandage over my hips, band-aids on some of the more shallow cuts, and a few butterfly strips on some deep ones.

Then I put on a pair of unsexy pajamas and fall into sleep.

I have the same nightmare again and wake up screaming the next morning.