Sept. 10, 2013, 11:15 a.m.
The story of my life: Fossils
E - Words: 5,302 - Last Updated: Sep 10, 2013 Story: Complete - Chapters: 33/33 - Created: Aug 01, 2013 - Updated: Sep 10, 2013 253 0 0 0 0
Before I knew it Friday was here...... Normally it means freedom from school and idiot jocks which makes me sigh in relief! This Friday however was D-day! I know how melodramatic can I get but really..... How comfortable would you be in a bar with Timone's long lost cousin while your Best friend surrounds himself with a puddle of his own drool....? Oh you bet your ass I quoted a lion king character! Urgh!!!! Really I know I have no choice but to grin and bear it Blaine's happy or drugged?! Maybe we could do tests on a strand of his hair- no Hummel pull it together you can be happy for your best friend! Can I though? I can't placeit but I just feel.... Ok! Like when you're on a roller coaster going slowly up the big hill? You enjoy the calm but at the same time hate it because you know that at the end of it there will be a very fast plummet back to earth!? That's how my stomach feels right now as I'm sitting at my vanity unit fiddling with a bit of hair that just won't sit right (like I need the added stress?!) swaying between going and not going to this stupid gig.... I'm pulled out of my internal fight to my phone ringing alerting me to a text.
Lady get your but down stairs and unlock this door! Or so help me I will climb that drain pipe!! Xox
And don't think I won't just because I fell off it last time! Xox
I giggled softly at the memory from last spring when Santana drunk on wine coolers thought Rizzo in Grease could have done the shimmy down the drain pipe more 'sexy Kurt! Sexy sells!' However her attempt ended in the whole pipe being ripped off the wall and a fractured wrist.... Oh it was the funniest thing I've witnessed, EVER!! I hop off the bed and run to the front door, when I pull it open I am stunned by Santana's soft look, her hair in loose curls, pale lipstick and soft eye shadows and a very pretty lace white dress topped off with amazing peach coloured wedges. So not her average look but definitely a gorgeous change.
"Well you gonna stand gawking or--" she trailed off showing slight nerves in her voice. I squeezed her arm as shecame past me in the door way.
"Tan- I - you- I-" I stuttered not quite knowing what I want to say.
"Well who knew little peachy would be rendered speechless by a girl!" She smirked my reaction clearly making her feel confident.
"Well with shoes like that no wonder.... Ow!" That remark earned me a small bum pinch as she walked down the stairs to my room.
"Ok Ben.... What is your drink if choice vodka or some questionable liqueur?" She asked whipping the bottle out of her bag, Mary Poppins would be proud of this bag to contents ratio! I groaned sinking into my bed.
"Tan what the hell- after last weekthere is no way-" I stuttered but she cut me off wiggling the bottles in front of me.
"Peachy think about it! Blaine and his old man playing who can make our friends spew first or.......... We have a few pre drinks and take the edge off?" She starts pouring out drinks after that because let's face it I'm going to need something to stop my automatic snide remarks from leaving my mouth. She handed me a glass indicating that I should raise it like her. "Here's to a night we will never remember with people we won't forget!" Ok so that might be her plan but I am definitely sticking to a couple of drinks! I'm Kurt Hummel after all getting drunk would not fair well for my designer boots! Although technically my name is Ben for the evening...........
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This was our first time in fossils and I have to say I'm impressed, the stage was pretty basic but the tables round the edge were metal cast iron ones (probably from when it was a warehouse) and surrounded by odd but somehow matching vintage chairs in every shape or colour imaginable. One side of the hall had a massive bar with a shark tank.... You heard! A shark tank mounted behind it. That however was all I got to appreciate before Blaine stormed up to us.
"What the hell are you two doing?" He demanded crossing his arms over his body. Which made Santana giggle hard and almost lose her balance in her wedges.
"Listen bum-hahaha-budumble! Get those panties out of your tightly clenched ass! You asked us to come.... And we came..." Ok maybe I should have limited what she was drinking.
"It's fucking 10!! Sebs friend is already on stage why are you doing this?? You have made me look like a child!" Ok so maybe I should have also been in charge of ordering a cab too.
"News flash!!!! Five years ago you were a child! Just lighten up ok we wanted to have a nerve calming drink is all!" I knew it was coming before I even saw the legs go flying round his waist, Santana's trade Mark always worked! "I soooo sowwweeee bumbleybee! Pwease forgive us!!!!" She grabbed his curls - a little tight if I'm honest- and then her lips were on his. Cat calling and whistles went up around us as Blaine tried to wrestle her off.
"It's ok there both gay!!!" I clapped and sang to a disgusted looking woman beside me. Ok maybe I should have monitored my own drinks?!
"Hate you Tan!" But he smirked at her
"Love you Bee!" She giggled before grabbing me by the waist. "Now 'scuse me while we get a be-ve-ra-ge!" She curtsied then pushed me forward through the crowd to get to the front of the queue. Once the bar maid saw us Satan was out in full force. "Ok lips! Here's what we want four glitter bombs... Hold the bomb! Four tequila slammers.... Hold the slammers! And two double Shirley temples!" She waved a bill out in front of us till the barmaid took it. "Oh!!" She screamed as the girls was about to leave "and your number for later...." Oh great I'm her wing man?! I excuse myself to the toilet quickly or this will get awkward. Once I squeezed past the heavy crowd I took up a spot at the huge floor to ceiling mirror, oh lady gaga herself! My eyes look huge, slightly bloodshot but I can work it, my lips are slightly pink from the cherry and grenadine filled drinks I had, that I can work with but my hair!! It's gone all floppy at the front, sure I made Santana put hairspray in her bag but that would mean going back out to the- why is there a man staring at me? Wait up! A very good looking man staring at me!? He smirked at me then- am I talking out loud?
"You are you know! But don't worry your 'floppy' hair looks good...." He chuckled slightly before leaning against my back to whisper in my ear. "I also think you're very good looking....." Oh god I said that out loud to?! This earned another chuckle "you did but don'tworry.... See you out there hottie!" He winked and was gone back out the dingy door before I could reply. Which was good seeing as I didn't know what to say any way... Not only did I say out loud he was hot I was stood the whole conversation with my fly open! Nice try Hummel you sexy fiend!
After the blush of humiliation crept out of my cheeks I slunk back out to where Santana was now propping up the bar with Sebastian, Blaine, his friend Nick and- oh!
Stood slightly behind my best friend was toilet man (stop that sounded wrong even in my head) good looking stranger! Holding her up every time she swayed over too much and laughing at something she was saying. His eyes were hazel and crinkled into a genuine soft smile, slightly taller than Santana in her heels and very well dress now I took the time to notice. His olive skin and blonde hair were complimented by a teal skinny shirt and acid wash pants. Not bad if I do say so myself! I took a deep breath steeling myself to go over when I heard a very loud holler from that area.
"Peachy!!!! Get over here!! I have someone streamly fulckable for yoooooooooo!" Ok mental note....NO MORE DRINK!! Oh and great now hottie from the potty is looking this way. I duck my eyes to the floor and head over sandwiching myself into the group.
"Floppy!!" Mr Hottie sniggered with a lazy grin shaking my hand.
"Nooooooo... This isss my peachy!" Santana slurred, god someone get her a water?! As if hearing my thoughts Blaine thrusted a bottle to her lips while mumbling apologies to Sebastian, why?? Who knows it's not like she threw up on his shoes.... Yet!! As I looked down I realised he was still holding my hand in a firm grip and smiled shyly pulling it out of his.
"It's Kurt..." I trailed barely above a whisper, his face lit up then in a huge Cheshire cat sized grin
"Dale Porter! It's nice to put a face to the name.... Blaine talks about you all the time..." I smiled then loving that my friend loves me almost as much as I love hi- whoa!! As a friend... Oh Dale's looking at me.
"I'm sorry what?" I asked as politely as I could.
"I said would you like to dance?"Those eyes had a slight orange to them like Amber's from a fire. I took a deep breath stealing my confidence...
"Sure!" And he took my hand leading me to the dance floor.
*********************
A few hours - ok and a lot more drinks later - I was sitting in Dale's car. Blaine had driven Santana home and took Sebastian and Nick for support, after checking eight times (oh you bet I counted) that I was ok getting a lift home with Dale. I wasn't but I couldn't exactly say that without giving a reason and 'cause I don't want you to leave with Sebastian' didn't feel like a good move so I kept my mouth shut. So that was why I was sitting in this stranger's car, ok so a stranger that had been grinding up on me for the best part of... Oh how did it get to 2am! But in this car it just felt a bit too real, not to mention Blaine leaving me behind! Clearly a metaphor for life now he hadSeb.
"Kurt? Are you ok?" Oh shit was I talking out loud? Oh what if he thinks I have feelings for Blaine? I mean I do- I think - but no one can find out! Oh my god what if I said that out loud to?! I can't breathe oh no! Oh no! "Argh Kurt! Your nails are cutting into my leg... Kurt? Kurt!" I don't know if it was drink or panic that caused my black out but the next thing I knew we were parked up in a car park and I was overwhelmed with the smell of citrus fruit and aftershave as Dale was rocking me gently in his arms whispering encouragement. What's that saying the straw that broke the camel's back? That was it! Before I knew it I was sobbing - snot running, face screwed up sobbing -into his shirt, which felt very expensive might I add!
"I-I'm s-s-sor-ry it's j-just you c-can't tell any-anyone!" I stuttered out through uneven breaths.
"Kurt I have no idea what you are talking about?! But I won't tell anybody anything you tell me, I don't care that we only met a few hours ago I like you! And we are going to sit here till you tell me what has you this upset!" He strokes my hair softly while I calm and then true to his word we sit while I tell him everything, right down to the first time we met, how I sometimes wear raspberry gel just to smell him, how much I hate Sebastian and why I can't say anything to anyone.
And Dale sits calmly listening gentling squeezing my hand as I stop, thinking I shouldn't say any more. Until I fall silent and he turns on the car...
"Oh god you hate me right? I'm awful not to mention I ruined your shirt!" He places a hand on my knee and gives a gentle squeeze.
"Kurt I don't hate you at all! We are going to my house- just to eat pancakes! - It's nearly 4am anyway and I have sent a text from your phone to your dad.... At Blaine's request before he left! He thinks you're at Santana's... You can stay and we can just talk ok?" Another gentle squeeze. What do I really have to loose Sebastian knows him so he can't be a bad guy and he seems genuinely worried.... One more friend can't hurt right?
***************
I wish I could describe his house but the few too many drinks and my after panic attack brain just took in it was clean and modern! Dale led me in to the living room and sat me in a very comfortable couch mumbling about getting water and a dry top... The latter made me blush knowing my snot was covering his current one. By the time he came back I was very thirsty and drank my own glass of water before downing his to. He gave me a gentle pet on my shoulder as he settled in beside me giving me the courage to look him in his eye.
"Your eyes are very pretty..." He smiled softly at me but still didn't talk "almost like Blaine's but his look like honey yours are fierier..." Ok where did that come from? Shut up Hummel "but his hair is so cute and curly I like it best when it sticks up all messy... Not under the helmet!" Ok clearly the drink has caused me to not have a filter from my thoughts to my mouth! Dale as if sensing my internal fight reached over and took my hand putting his finger under my chin to keep me looking at him.
"Kurt... Do you think you might not like Sebastian because you like Blaine as more than a friend?" That caught me off guard, and I took a deep breath to let my thoughts settle before talking again.
"No! I mean he is my best friend! He enjoys the same things as me, knows my favourite cheesecake is the one at breadsticks with extra chocolate on top, he knows my coffee order, how to make me smile, that I say my favourite film is breakfast at Tiffany's but it really is lady and the tramp, that when I'm sad I like to sit in the shower and pretend it's raining, that I want to live out a big fashionista dream wherever it will take me. But that is just what best friends do! I mean do I have feelings for Blaine? Yes but that's because he's my best friend! I mean do I swoon when those eyes look at me? Do I want to maintain skin to skin contact at all times? Do I think about him all the time? Yes but that's just because I love him... Oh my god-" my eyes widen when I realised what I just said out loud. "I-I love him?" I'm not quite sure why I made that a question, maybe I'm hoping for a small audience to pop out and shout you've been punked! But really I know then saying it out loud as good as attached me to a fluorescent sign saying I heart Blaine! Why did I not see it before? When this near enough stranger saw it straight away? Oh Dale! He's looking at me funny, I wish I knew what he was thinking...
"Kurt are you ok? You haven't said anything in 10 minutes?" Dale looked worried and that made me feel even guiltier. I can't put my problems on any one else this is my fault my own stupid head!
"Yeah... Just a lot to take in I'll just go... Sorry to have put you in an awkward poss-" Dale pulled me back onto the couch holding my head in his hands and so I couldn't move.
"Kurt you are the most beautiful, kind and funny man I have ever met and that's after just 7 hours! Please don't be ashamed of what you just said..." I let that settle into my head watching Dale chew in his lip, before I knew what was happening I was leaning forward.... "No Kurt!" He whispered softly letting my face go.
"Oh you don't like me - like that.... Sorry I just thought-"
"Of course I like you! I'd be the luckiest guy in the world to date you" he paused and I silently applauded his word date instead of sleep with.
"But........" I trailed aimlessly because I knew it was coming, Dale laughed then but still had that caring look in his eye.
"But you just realised you're in love with your best friend..."
"I don't want to be though!" I huffed like a toddler.
"I know you don't and that's ok! But we can't date while you feel like this...." I sighed then dramatically rolling my eyes - being in glee club you have to appreciate the drama of it all! "However I would still like to be your friend... You are definitely one of a kind my little floppy!" He grinned then as I hid behind my hands giggling a little.
"Why do my friends all feel the need to give me nicknames that are horrific might I add!" I don't miss the change in Dale's mood.
"So we are going to do this? Be friends?" He asked barely containing the excitement.
"Yes! But only if I get the pancakes I was offered..." I trail off giggling as he tickles me in my left side.
"Ok but so long as you know that I will be a great friend! And I will always be hoping you are about to kiss me..." He growls seductively before walking out to the kitchen.
********************
Oh my! I am never drinking again!! My head feels all heavy and when I try to lift it I feel like I'm being pinned down! And don't even get me started on the drill monotonously drilling beside my ear I- wait a minute that's snoring... My eyes ping open and just as fast shut again recoiling off of the late afternoon sun. But I saw him... Dale lying curled up beside me on what must be his bed. Oh god Hummel you lost you V card to a stranger?! What happened to finding your other half...? Making it special.... Oh yeah the bottle of vodka! I tried to shimmy out of his arm but he pulled me in closer hot breath tickling my face. His t-shirt smelled of citrus - wait!! We are clothed! We didn't have sex!! But then it hit me why we were here, my breakdown, my discovery, my new friend, the best pancakes I've ever had!
As I slowly try to sit up and fail I notice him smiling at me.
"Morning floppy!" He shouts at me and I wince in pain, the look on his face makes me realise he did that on purpose...
"You do realise when I find a nickname for you, you will regret this" I sneer at him with a wicked grin.
"Or I'll find it incredibly charming and innately you!" He pokes my side rolling out of bed "your phones been going nonstop since about ten by the way." I groan when I see my missed calls and text tally. Dale excuses himself to make lunch as I start to read.
Hey kiddo! Hope you had a good night? Me and Finn are off to the lake be back about 6 see you then! Love dad xxx
Peachy!! I'm in a bad way? How about you, me and a housewives of Atlanta marathon? I'll bring popcorn xox
Peachy...... I know you're mad I got you drunk but think of all the trash TV?!? Xox
Right it's been two hours!! I know you're mad but at least txt me back... Even a blank message xox
Ok that's it!! You brought this on yourself!!!!
Kurt! Santana said you want extra vocal training? U could have just asked! Let me know when suits you! RB*
So you not even answering Berry?!? Real nice diva! Xox
Ok Mr I'm too good to txt back.... It's 2!! I'm coming over right now! And telling your dad you want to run away with a porn star.... Xox
Your dad or Finn aren't answering?! Please let me know you're ok :-( xox
Also don't think you can escape I'm sitting on the porch swing till I see you! Xox
You better be in a ditch somewhere! This is deffo not bf material!! Xox
Kurt, please text tan back? She keeps saying a lion might have eaten you.... Bumble <3
Ok so now I feel really bad about Tana, I quickly fire off an apology telling her I just got up but I'm not home as Dale brings me in a coffee and pickle sandwich... Ewww a pickle sandwich!
"I promise you it's amazing! Just try it..." He taunted nudging my arm so I thought why not try?As I took a tentative bite an army of flavours hit my mouth but it wasn't overwhelming it was nice! So I took another bite. "See!! I told you! Amazing right?!" He grinned taking a bite from his own sandwich. Now I remember he was a chef or caterer for the music label so obviously he knows his stuff!
"Ok ok! I will never doubt you again oh wise one... But seeing as we are friends, I think it's important that you teach me these things for when I'm living alone...."
"Who says you'll be alone?" I wonder exactly who he is referring to in that comment but then my phone goes off.
Thank god!!! You had me worrying!! Where are you though at the hotties? Did peachy score some?!? Argh I think I just died!! Xox
Bzzzzz off it went again before I could reply.
You're still at Dales? What happened? <3
Honestly my friends! Are like walking nightmares! But what will I say? I can't tell them the truth can I? Oh yeah I just made a new friend after we stayed up talking about how in love I am with you all night..... Somehow don't think that will go down well...
"You ok floppy?" Dale was watching me intently trying to gage my mood.
"Well Blaine and Tan want to know why I'm still here, but I can't really tell them though can I? So just trying to think of what I can do!" I rambled until he covered my mouth, forcing me to take a breath.
"Ok are we friends?" I nod as he still won't uncover my mouth "are we going to be spending time together?" I nod "to see how well we get on?" I nod "well why not just say that and let them think whatever else they want?" He then takes his hand off my mouth.
"Your right! They will probably think we are dating but that's their problem..."
"We are kind of.... Friend dating? Is that even a thing?" I giggled then at his anxious expression.
"It can be our thing chip!" He gawked at me then "like chip n dale?"
"You're naming me a strong, 25 year old man after a chipmunk?" He tried to pull a manly pose tensing his muscles and that sent me into a fit of giggles.
"Well you looked so cute snuggled up and sleeping this morning... Argh no don't tickle me..." He pounced on me then starting a tickle fight until my phone buzzed again...
I'm waiting...... Xox
Tan! We just stayed up late talking is all! We r friends xox
Not buying it! You have till Monday.... Then I want every gory detail... Xox
Oh god! Monday is not going to be fun...
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You can do this! Don't let them stress you out my little floppy! See you tonight? I'll pick you up from school? X
I know but just feel like I'm getting thrown to the wolves.... Yeah dad said he can't wait! Cya then I have glee practice first remember x
Maybe I can sneak in and watch? I'll be your own personal groupie?! ;-) X
No!!!! Don't that will be like giving my scent to a hunting dog! You don't know my friends x
Ha-ha good point! You will just have to give me a private show sometime.... X
Dork! Let me go endure my torture Satan is waiting at my locker :-@ x
I tucked my phone away as I reached where Santana was waiting for me. It's now or never! I took a deep breath before starting to talk.
"Tan....."
"Ok lady! Two things....top or bottom? And was he good?"
"As I have already said in every txt I've sent you neither! We just talked.... We are getting to know one another!" She rolled her eyes and I knew she didn't believe me
"At least Blaine tells me everything!" Wait what?! Blaine had stuff to tell? Like about him and Sebastian?! "Oh relax just some heavy frotting! I'm sure he will tell you when you see him..." My face had clearly given away my annoyance she just didn't get the reason behind it right.
"Well I did nothing of the kind on Friday! We are seriously just getting to know each other! That's it!" She searched my face then looking for giveaway signs but there are none so she hooks my arm just as Blaine runs up, dumps things in his locker and links onto my other arm.
"So you get him to talk?"
"Not a single word!"
"Do we believe his claims of friendship?"
"I think he's telling the truth... We both know peachy can't lie...."
"HEY!! I'm still here?! So can we just drop it?" I screamed getting annoyed.
"Peachy we are just worried about you! He is an older guy..."
"Oh please Blaine he's two years older than Sebastian! AND I didn't meet him in scandals!" He looked a bit hurt at that comment but I didn't care in that moment I was so annoyed at him meddling he had a life! Why can't I?!
"I know but I just don't want you rushing in to any-"
"Listen! NOTHING happened! And if it did I would like to think as my friends you would support me! Not judge" I wailed verging on tears. "And more to the point... I don't see why I should tell you things when you don't think it's important to confide in me?" Blaine just stood looking between an uncomfortable Santana and me "that's what I thought... Don't sit next to me unless you have something productive to say!" I stormed in to home room sitting at the far back folding my arms across my body. I pulled my phone out to avoid making eye contact with anyone and noticed a txt sitting from Dale, which made me smile I already felt like I knew him he was so understanding and just got me.... If only I wasn't in love with my best friend! Where is Oprah when you need her?
Monday fun day.... Don't you wish you were here???? If you're nice I'll steal you some.... X
Attached was a photo of a banquet table filled with tonnes of desserts, like seriously enough to live off of for a year! I wish I could switch places and binge eat my feelings! But till next summer I'm stuck here!
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To add to my already stressful enough day a few Neanderthals though so red dye no.7 would really set my outfit off... Meaning a wardrobe change into sweats, which then resulted in a twenty minute sulk in my coveted bathroom stall before I headed to glee... A good half hour late! What I didn't expect was to walk into world war 3!
"usted es una baya perra loca ...."
"Blaine muzzle her?!"
"Finn! I can't believe you just-"
"totalmente fuera de tu mente......"
"Santana nobody is saying you're not good... Just not right for competition is all! No need to go to the shouting place..."
"YOUR saying that Berry! Just like you said my wheel chair needed to dazzle more!"
"Ajustar sus medicamentos ......."
"Tan take a breath! Mr Smythe a little help here?"
"Oh yeah go running to Mr S.... is that how you got the solo? By satisfying his bro?"
"Sam Aww hell to the no!"
"ir a ayudar a la lesrn BFG cómo realizar varias tareas..."
Everyone was shouting over each other, Mr Smythe was trying to calm things down with no such luck! I took a huge breath deciding I had to take action while there was still a choir room left! Thinking fastI grab the nearest beater and begin to slam the cymbal over and over again. Everyone stops dead and stares at me then.
"Now can somebody tell me what happened...?"
"Everyone is being unreasonable..."
"Granny sweater thinks she can take....."
"Blaine is sleeping his way to solos..."
"Sam is being a grade A dou...."
"Rachel tried to bedazzle my chair..." They all began at once.
"STOP!!" I scream hovering the beater above my head. "Ok let's try this again, Puck! What exactly happened?" Puck looked at me from his front row seat on top of the piano.
"Well Mr Smythe said that Blaine and Santana are getting a duet at sectionals and Artie is getting a solo slot...." I nodded to keep him going despite everyone else grumbling quietly. "Then Rach said it was unfair and that Santana sounded to nasally for a comp- and that A would need a blinged out chair to fill the stage seeing as he can't move around. OH and Sam says that Blaine is only screwing Sebastian any which way to get a good word in!" He finished quickly receiving death glares from everyone involved.
"Ok guys! Since when do we fight each other? I thought this was a place that we had to embrace being different? To join misfits together to create something worthwhile? What happened to we may be in need of a few repairs but we are still capable of making beautiful music? This is for Mr Shue as much as us he has stuck himself out time and time again!!" I finish my rant and then take a seat letting what I said sink in....
*********************
"He really just handed you the part? That's amazing Kurt! I'm so happy for you!" Dale and me were currently preparing a special dinner for my dad, well he was preparing I was sitting on the bunker eating my stolen cheese cake!
"I know they all just started rambling that I was right and I knew what we needed to do to win and then Smythe just said to take the solo and duet spot.... Nobody argued either!" I was giddy at the thought my first big spot at competition level and two at that!! What the hell am I going to sing?
"Well I'm going to be there cheering as loud as I can! But right now can you help me out? What does my hair look like?" He worried his bottom lip as I studied him carefully.
"You look perfect! Will you relax though? It's only my dad! He doesn't bring the big guns out unless it's a boyfriend..." I trailed off as I heard the door click and my dad call out for me and Finn. "In here dad!" I call back and within seconds him and Finn pop round the door.
"Hey kiddo- smells amazing in here!" He states bluntly.
"Well that is thanks to Dale..." I trail off looking to where he is standing frozen in place. "Dad meet Dale porter, Dale meet my dad!" Dad picks up his hand and shakes it firmly.
"Nice to meet you Mr Hummel!" He says politely.
"Call me Burt....." Ok so maybe this night won't be a total disaster? If dad doesn't chase away my new friend........