Sept. 10, 2013, 11:15 a.m.
The story of my life: Make his a double
E - Words: 2,267 - Last Updated: Sep 10, 2013 Story: Complete - Chapters: 33/33 - Created: Aug 01, 2013 - Updated: Sep 10, 2013 220 0 0 0 0
It got to lunch time the next day before it really hit us all, Mr Shue wouldn't be back in time for sectionals. Miss P had taken home room and explained what the doctors were saying. To be honest it made me squirm listening so I tuned out but Blaine informed me later it was bad! Like metal screws to reset bad! And that meant no more best teacher until after winter break!
So needless to say we were all walking around like zombies - waiting to be hit with a bat in a Simon Pegg movie - in a state of shock!How could competing be over before we even got started?!? Somehow we all managed to migrate to our usual spot in the canteen, even though none of us seemed to be hungry. Mercedes was even pushing her tater tots around her plate, and that girl loved her tots!
"Guys I think we need to really need to focus here! Sectionals will fly in and without a leader we will commit show choir suicide... So what I think what we should do is appoint the most talented member of the team to take over until Mr Shue returns. That obviously is me, don't worry I'm happy to do it!" Rachel smiled broadly at the table. Seriously!Seriously?!?!
"Aww hell to the no!"
"Yeah cause then you can just hand yourself the solos?!"
"......... What?!"
"Rach my chair can't do all those fancy dance moves!"
"Listen here Sasquatch! I am not spending the next 3 months humming and tapping my feet behind you! Now stop take a breath and shut that mammoth size jaw before I throw a small penguin in... And if you even thi-" me and Blaine both grab Santana's hands before the fork can be picked up off the table, looking hesitantly at Blaine I smile to encourage him to sort this out.
"Rachel..." He breathes softly ever the dabber young man. "As much as you think this will help I really think we need to wait and see what Figgins does about this situation..."
"perra loca .... Como si im que va a seguir a su hobbit..."
"Tan! Calm down!" I whisper quietly into her ear, Santana going to town like the freaking karate kid is sooo not the outcome we need right now. Blaine pats my shoulder gently as everyone else watches on in silence.
"As I was saying we need to see what principal Figgins does, the worst outcome would be Coach Sue..." Everyone takes a sharp breath at the statement except Brittany.
"Coach Sue will make us all have high pony's! That won't help my dolphins..." She furrowed her brow in thought, I wish I was a young as Brittany's brain.
".... I know Brittany! Or they might bring someone else in to take over his lessons which could me new ideas and passion that would make us front runners at sectionals!" Blaine finished his speech and everybody seemed more at ease, that's why I love him, always spinning around a bad situation even when we were eight and my mom passed away, he made me want to keep breathing.
"Blainers is right guys! This could work in our favour and white chocolate is ready with his a-m-a-z-ing dance moves" Sam illustrates with a few body rolls.
"Trouty why don't you keep them guppy lips rested for polishing bowling balls later on" Santana mewed at him.
"Eat shit Satan!!!" Sam huffed before stalking off Brittany running after.
Blaine and I looked at each other knowing just what to do to cheer her up. That's the great thing about being his best friend he gets me in one look!
"Aunty Tan....." I prowl at her.
"....we were thinking its PFLAG night at scandals....." Blaine nudges closerto Santana wedging her firmly between us.
"Maybe it's time we get out there and forget about unexceptional blonde cheerleaders...." I follow on earning me a death glare from Santana.
"....AND get your two favourite gays some hot ass..." Blaine continues earning a small chuckle from her.
"Well we all know that the long lost Hobbit and Heart eyes need every bit of help I can give! And the Parental's will head off for their warm milk and cookies early" She smiles happily.
"So we're going?" I ask already knowing the answer and slyly high five Blaine behind her back.
"If you quit with the kindergarten secret high fives then we are going!" she stands up gracefully before flouncing off to her next class. It's then I feel him smirking at me.
"Mr Anderson... Why are you smiling like you just heard a new Johnny Depp Calendar has been released? Because if there is I would love a copy too..." He continues to look at me with that toothy grin, golden orbs staring at me with amusement.
"You realise the trouble you have caused yourself right? I mean sure we are both young twinks, but you my little peachy aredefinitely going to have every eligible bachelor on you like a dog on heat. You are one of a kind young Hummel!" He chuckles as I dodge his finger flicking my nose.
Ok so the thing about peachy is a sore spot for me.... No it's not my skin tone - that is as pale as can be - but refers to a very old, very naked picture of me as a toddler running with my so called 'peachy' bum on show. I thought ignoring it would help.... That was five years ago.
"Well hopefully I can just hide in the corner till you and Tan find some sugar whatever's and I can escape unscathed..." I reply calmly because truthfully we know I'm not a gay bar superstar.
"And how will I get home? You wouldn't really ditch you best friend in a seedy gay bar would you???" and outcome the famous 'puppy dog' eyes pleading to my very core. This is why I remain the impartial friend in our tripod, between put downs and that look how could I ever win?
***************
After the rest of school (and a boycott of glee club at the Lima bean, I mean Dictator Berry is not fun) we find ourselves sitting in my room finishing off our looks for the evening. I've chosen simple but classic paint on pants and a white silk shirt accessorised with a small chain broach and my trusty doc martens. Santana has went with a very tight, not leaving much to imagine red dress with black bandaged straps hitting her in all the right places (I'm a wannabe fashionista I know my shit! Even if she doesn't have the right body parts) Blaine is still in the bathroom getting changed but I have to stop and gawk as I'm finishing my coiffed hair, the door opens and there he is in simple red cut offs and loafers teamed with a black button down and his trade mark yellow bow tie. But his hair isn't cemented down in place but has been teased in to neat curls, a few falling down onto his eyes. If he wasn't my best friend I'd be in a very dangerous situation...
"Do I have something on me?" He asks worriedly catching my eye mid gawk. (Mental note: drooling not good)
"No it's just you look so different with your hair like that! Wow!!" I say and Blaine blushes moving his eyes to the floor. (Mental note: don't creep out your best friend Hummel!)
"Ok then if peachy here has finished trying to ogle at your goodies...." She trails off making me shuffle uncomfortably. "Then I think we should get going" she says spraying liberal amounts of perfume on herself and handing over our fake id's.
It's not till I'm in the car that I look at my ticket in. And I start to panic.... I could kill her!!
"Ben Dover!!! You made my name BEN DOVER!!" I screech ~ in an octave I assume aliens will here millions of mile away ~ in disbelief but really why should I be surprised? Then Blaine pulls out his and turns ash white.
"Tan! You called me Phil McCracken? Oh - I- you-" Blaine tries to find something to say but really what can he? This has made me momentarily forget my dilemma as I bubble out a laugh at his expense. Earning me a jab in the ribs right where I'm ticklish and feel a blush spread on my face as Blaine quickly pulls away. (Mental note: Hummel no creeping! Also Blaine looks like he's blushing too)
"Is that not want you want though?! Or are you trying to tell me you're at the top?" Santana argues back and it sets me off again watching Blaine huff like a child.
When we pull up outside we head over to the bouncer who gives one glance at our ID's before moving to let us in. Santana barely let me through the door before hauling us to the bar, where a beautiful red head came to take our order.
"What can I get you gorgeous?" She flashed a thousand watt smile at Santana. Poor girl doesn't know what she's getting into.
"Well you on this bar after hours for sure...." She lightly brushed her hand over the girls "but for now I'll take two tequilas, one Jeremiah weed and a Shirley temple for my dearest peachy!" She smiled mouthing to make Kurt's a double.
After asking Santana it was non-alcoholic I took a slow sip from my drink when I heard to slams hit the bar and then saw Santana stalk off to the dance floor. In the spirit I slurped up my virgin cocktail and asked foranother turning to Blaine who was gingerly sipping his own.
"Good think I'm the designated driver! If that's going to continue" nodding to Santana's empty glasses "oh thanks!" I said taking my drink from the girl. "Come on B lighten up a bit we r here to have fun - Oh I love this song!" With that I headed to the dance floor to find my loud and probably tipsy friend!
************
A few hours (and five cocktails later) I was in my element shaking my hips seductively on the dance floor.
"Blaineeey beeeee!" I screamed deafening my dance partner to get his attention at the bar and wave goofily (smooth Hummel, real smooth!)
"Tan exactly how did you order Kurt's virgin Shirley temple?" Blaine looked at her side on as she fiddled with her shots putting them in a line.
"I said....." shot "......can I have......" shot "..... A Shirley temple...." Shot "....make it a...." Shot "......double?!...." She swayed and missed trying to clap her hands together.
"Are you for real!?! Tan he was the DD! It's a good job I only had half a cider so I can drive home!" Blaine whined at her while watching a man get ever so close to his best friend.
"Oh please relax!!" She slurred sitting on to his knee and wrapping her arms around his neck playing with the loose curls at the nape of his neck. "We'll just call the Big Freaking Ugly Giant to come get us, so lighten up and have some fun...." She said before downing her last shot and emptying it into Blaine's mouth in a passionate kiss that took him by surprise and he spluttered as it burned his throat.
"I hate you sometimes you know!" He mumbled as she stood up wobbling slightly.
"And I lobe you always!" She slurred before heading back towards me.
Blaine pulled out his phone to call Finn.
"Hey its Blaine can you come pick us up at scandals? Santana gave Kurt too much to drink! Well I didn't know though- well I'm sorry I didn't watch him enough- OK I get it!! Will you do it or not? Great! See you soon" he placed his phone back in his pocket as a man slinked in to the stool beside him.
"Leaving so soon? I was just coming to offer you a drink..." The stranger smiled at him. And Blaine smiled back.
"It will take my ride about an hour to get here so you have time! I'm Blaine..." He said extending his hand.
"Sebastian! What can I get you gorgeous?...."
****************
About an hour later I was dancing wildly on the dance floor with a tall handsome man holding me tight when I felt an arm grab me roughly. Looking I realised it belonged to Finn. Great!!
"Finn wash you dinging here?" I slurred and frowned as those weren't the words I used in my head. His eyes looked concerned as he picked me up.
"C'mon little brother let's get you home... Before dad notices you're missing and hammered" even in my state I noted the worried tone in his voice, I just don't understand how this happen- Santana! I'm going to kill her! My eyes were spinning making me feel sick so I shut my eyes and after what felt like a few seconds later opened them to be looking into Blaine's hair it smelt like raspberry hair gel and aftershave. I stayed still listening to them talk about tonight's events.
"....moths to the flame...... I'm telling you I'm on fire bee...."
"Well I got a number too Tan.... "
"Please! From that old guy...... Prehistoric assholes don't count..... 8 numbers!......Brittany who?...." My stomach knotted at that, who was Blaine talking to? I can't remember through the haze of Shirley Temples. Why did this upset me? It's probably just because of the drinks! This is why I hate alcohol, it makes me feel different about all sorts of things. Blaine is my best friend so why am I jealous he got attention? Shouldn't I be happy he's happy? Instead of joining the conversation I closed my eyes again and let sleep claim me with worries of losing friends and the hangover I'd no doubt have in the morning......