I race through the living room slamming the door shut behind me and trying to keep the tears at bay. This was so fucked up I should have known it would all be too good to be true.

"Hey how was the......" Santana stopped dead in her tracks watching me head towards my room. "What the fuck happened to your eye?" she tried to catch my shoulder but I yanked it out harshly from her grip.

"Just leave me alone Santana!" I growled out in my croaky voice. Before she could say anything else I forced my door open and cracked it shut behind me making it shiver on its hinges. I slumped down harshly against it and let the tears fall, I should have known nothing would go right tonight. When did I ever get what I wanted? I pulled out my phone to see no new messages; well of course he wouldn't have text me! I'd be surprised if he ever wanted to see my face again.

"Kurt? Do you want to talk about it?" her voice was soft but very close and I knew she was mirroring my image on the opposite side of the wood. "I can call Dale?"

"No I'll be fine....just go to work okay?" I sniff, rubbing my nose and wincing as I catch my sore eye in the process.

"I am not leaving! It was just some writing time anyway! I'll be out here when you're ready to talk...." I hear a movement and then her heel click-clacking across the wooden floor.

********************

"Squirt what's wrong? I didn't think I'd hear from you till tomorrow its only 9pm your way....are you calling from a bathroom stall? Because that isn't cool even by my shoddy standards!"

"No I'm not coop! It was a disaster! Kurt left me at the subway...I could tell he was going to cry. I've fucked up big time coop!"

"Listen Bee just get home have a coffee and give me like 20 minutes...30 tops! I'm in traffic and don't really want to have this discussion on the road. Will you be okay?"

"Yes I'll be fine...I am almost home anyway....just hurry up and phone me back okay."

"I will okay baby bro....don't worry okay we can fix this, whatever it is I promise!"

"Just call me when you can....."

************************

I hear knocking on my door but turn over on the bed and try to ignore it. Santana however decides to be persistent and knocks three more times before just walking in anyway. As she gets closer to my bed I hear the tell-tale rustling and put my hand up to receive a bag of frozen peas.

"Thanks" I whisper hissing slightly as the icy chill hits my face.

"I'd have offered you raw meat but we both know how it makes you gag..." she says into my ear as she settles in behind me to form the big spoon. "Do you want to talk about it?" I bark out a bitter laugh and she pulls me in tight to her chest.

"It was awful Tan! Like the worst first dates of all first dates.....I don't even know where to begin." I sniff back the tear threatening to start again.

"How about from the beginning? It's a very good place to start..."

"Did you just quote Julie Andrews?" I try to turn to face her but the hold she has on me is to strong.

"I thought it might make you smile...." I can feel her shrug and settle down into the pillows.

"I'm not in a very smiley mood anymore."

"Well tell me why? Don't just shut off from me okay? You were so happy before you left...what happened?" she didn't push me to answer just waited patiently for my response and it was times like these when I realised how lucky I got.

"Well it all pretty much started when we were walking to the restaurant...he thought it would be nice to cut through the park... but the heavens opened and neither of us had an umbrella so we got drenched before we even got to the Italian..." I trailed off but Santana stayed silent I could almost feel her stare boring into the back of my neck. "Anyway by the time we got inside we had missed our table so got seated at the bar to wait on one freeing up...and then Blaine got really weird....he kept like staring at me and blushing, not answering any of my questions just watching me. So after ten minutes I was pissed off and lost it a bit....I just screamed at him 'why are you looking at me like that?' and he just kept looking down like really embarrassed, I thought he maybe didn't want to be seen with me or something! But then the maitre'd came over and whispered in my ear that my white pants had gone see through because they were wet..."

"So? It's not like that's a big deal..." she mumbled from behind me and I realised I would have to make it clear.

"I had on those silk pants. The ones that hug me in all the right places...."

"The ones that..."

"I don't wear any underwear with yes." I'm glad my light is off and she can't see my face as I am sure it was fire hydrant red right now.

"So Blaine was staring because......"

"Uh-huh"

"And everyone else could...."

"Uh-huh"

"Oh!" her voice is high and slightly shocked, confirming exactly how embarrassed I should be.

*********************

"So you saw his dick? Big deal! Or not such a big deal? Is that what's wrong?"

"No Coop! It was - he was mortified! Near enough everyone in the bar saw and kept throwing glances in our direction...."

"So you just came home? I'm disappointed Blaine! I thought you were an ex cock slut? Seeing one should not be that embarrassing!"

"No we didn't come home because of that - I am not a cock slut - and I wanted it to be perfect for him and that just started a train of bad events....plus I felt guilty for not saying anything. But I couldn't stop looking..."

"That good huh? I'm impressed!"

"Cooper will you let me finish?"

"I'm sorry please continue......."

"So after he goes to sort himself out in the bathroom he is sort of....off. It's obviously stinted any confidence he had had and he downs a couple of glasses of wine....on an empty stomach...."

"Bee you didn't?!"

"No I didn't! Stop talking! So anyway I start trying to ask engaging questions-all the right things for a first date and I noticed him starting to get tipsy....Then all of a sudden he starts asking all of these questions about why I stopped drinking and apologising for being a disgrace and getting drunk with an alcoholic....then when I got all embarrassed because who wants to have a potential boyfriend with drinking problems? He just shut down and stuck to water the rest of the night...."

"Did you tell him that was why? I mean he may be shut down because he thought he'd upset you?"

"Or because he realised what a waste of space I am!"

"Hey don't talk about yourself like that!"

"Oh trust me that is not even the worst part!"

"There's more!?!"

*********************

"Oh Kurt...."

"I know! I'm an awful person! Who gets pissed in front of their potential boyfriend who struggles with alcohol? Me apparently! Because I am an awful, awful person!" I moan shaking up my frozen peas and replacing them back on my eye.

"Honey did you stop to think that he felt bad because you were worried about drinking around him?" she starts to play with my loose bits of hair making me relax again. Well as relaxed as I could be.

"No because I was the insensitive one! I might as well have poured vodka down his throat!"

"Kurt honey it could have been worse..." she tries to placate me but she doesn't know the whole story yet.

"Oh but it does...."

"There's more?"

"OH YES! So after that Blaine gets really twitchy and nervous and I can see him trying to actively plan out each of his next moves...and he.... Well he started to talk like the doctor..." I groan at telling her these private moments that were Blaine's but I had to for her to get the whole picture.

"Doctor who?" she tipped her head over my shoulder to look at me.

"Exactly!" I sigh cursing the disaster that was tonight.

"No, I mean what doctor?" she stays in the spot watching me carefully.

"DOCTOR WHO!! The British TV show?" I wail at her and she flops onto her back, dipping the bed so I move in to the exact same position linking our pinkies between us.

"OH!" is all she says making me roll my eyes.

***********************

"Which one?"

"What?!"

"Which doctor?"

"DOES IT REALLY MATTER!!?"

"Well yeah....David Tenant was hot, Matt Smith is a bit appealing...William Hartwell was just eww!"

"I didn't morph into them! I just started talking like him and using some of his phrases...."

"You are such a dork!"

"Not helping!!"

"I'm sorry but.....the doctor!!"

"Okay, okay laugh now but never expect me to remind you of Kelly's birthday..."

"I'm sorry little bro but- you have to admit that's a bit funny!"

"Okay, fair play but I totally freaked him out then....we kind of got asked to leave the restaurant not long after....because when I tried to hold his hand he pulled away and we knocked over the candle in the middle of the table....and it caught on fire...like the whole table cloth!"

"Shut up! Who would have known? My baby bro and scarecrow.....local pyromaniacs!"

"You said you wouldn't laugh!"

"I'm not! So that's why Kurt ran off? It just seems to me like bad luck....you were both nervous.....it's understandable!"

"No he ran off after he got the black eye-"

"What?!?!"

******************

"So you set the table on fire? It's not like you have to go back there!"

"It wasn't just that though was it Tan? It was everything!" I moan as the now melted water seeps out of the bag. I take it off and dump it on to the side table.

"Peachy? Not to be harsh but...how did you get a black eye?" she turned her head so we were nose to nose and brushed her fingers gently over the purple stains on my skin.

"That happened in the park..."

"You got beat up? By who? I'll castrate them and feed them to a stray dog-"

"No! it was when a police horse got freaked out he started bucking his legs and I tried to run out of the way and ran straight in to a little girl....she started bawling her eyes out...her mom gave me a tonne of abuse and I just sat there in a puddle on the ground...."

"The clumsy effects of one Kurt Hummel ladies and gentlemen!" she shouted out into the dark room and clapped her hands slowly.

*********************

"And then when I tried to hug him goodbye he just ran off!"

"Okay can I tell you what I think?"

"I suppose so!"

"I think you are a stupid asshole!"

"Gee thanks Coop!"

"Your date - no the person you claim to be in love with - was feeling vulnerable and you let him run away....Do you have any idea how stupid that is if you hadn't wasted nearly six years in denial?!"

"I didn't want to force him to talk to me is all!"

"Well I think you need to fix this! You know Kurt likes romance! So you guys had potentially the worst date ever in the history of dating...if you want my opinion you put too much pressure on it being the perfect first date....You both already know you love each other, why not just hangout don't plan so much and things might go smoother!"

"Have I ever told you you're a genius?"

"Not lately! But I'll take the win...."

"I've got to go Coop but I'll phone you tomorrow okay?"

"Love you little bro!"

"Ditto!"

***********************

"How about we watch bad TV and eat ice cream?" Santana's voice comes out from beside me.

"Okay..." I sigh not really wanting to but not wanting to lie in bad on my own either. My phone goes off beside her and she gasps reading it. "What?" her hand thrusts the phone towards me to read the text.

Peachy! I'm down stairs...come out now! Don't change or anything....please? Bumble <3

"Oh my god!" I screech getting out of bed and throwing my boots and a warm cardigan on for the freezing temperatures outside will no doubt bring. "I'll be back soon!" I yell as I head out the door and run down the stairs. When I get outside I see Blaine standing on the street holding a single yellow rose and two hot dog containers with a huge grin on his face and a slightly red nose from the cold.

"What are you doing crazy?" I ask in shock at the sight before me.

"I wanted to give you this..." he hands me the flower and I sniff in the deep scent over taking my airways. "And to ask you out on a first date..." he smiles resting his forehead on to mine.

"But we already had one....and it sucked..." I laugh awkwardly but Blaine just keeps those liquid honey pools on me.

"hmmm I don't recall what you're talking about....as far as I am concerned I've just asked the future love of my life on our first date right now..." he holds up a hotdog to me and I take it. "Now would you like to sit on this stoop with me and have a hot dog? No love or relationship pressures...just a date?" he looks scared waiting on my response.

"That sounds like a perfect first date....but one thing?" I look at him as he sits down on a step and I join him, huddling against the cold.

"Yes it has onions and mustard....so does mine so if you think about kissing me you don't have to worry about it!" I laugh out loud as he takes an exaggerated bite out of his hotdog.

"How lucky I am to have a boyfriend like you..." I grin slyly at him and he lunges at me, hotdog forgotten as he kisses me soundly on the lips. "This is just how I pictured it, minus the black eye of course..."

"God I love you! Even though I said I wasn't going to say it I do....even if you can't say it yet! I'm going to spend every moment proving to you I am worth it." He kisses the tip of my nose softly and I close my eyes in pure bliss.