The Story Of How I Got Hitched
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The Story Of How I Got Hitched: Sexual Deviants


E - Words: 3,344 - Last Updated: Nov 19, 2016
Story: Complete - Chapters: 29/? - Created: Feb 08, 2014 - Updated: Feb 08, 2014
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Author's Notes:

Sorry for the delay...life got in the way! If anybody has things they would like to see please review?

 

Next time:

"If by carry you really mean dragging you by the ankles along the dusty side walk? I would be happy to!"

 

"Shes got a boyfriend!" Dale screams as he throws open the door to the studio where Maya and I are working on a graduation ball gown. With the client inside it!

 

"Dont just barge in here!" Maya yells at him, spitting pins across the room from where they had been resting between her teeth.

 

"Oh sorry!" Dale seems to notice the client then - Darcy - and turns on his heels to walk back out the room, closing the door behind him. We try to go back to work before theres three knocks, one after another on the door and Dale reappears through it again.

 

"Shes got a boyfriend!" He screams again, matching it by putting his hands on his hips.

 

"I think Maya meant you cant just barge in when we have a client...." I say forcefully, glaring. My eyes flitting back and forth between him and Darcy.

 

"Dont worry Kurt..." Darcy places her hand on my head. "Hes hot so Ill allow it." Its hard to see from where I am currently half under the dress, but I could swear Dale was blushing.

 

"Girl you are so barking up the wrong tree!" Maya giggles, causing Darcy to look in her direction.

 

"Hes gay!" She says plainly.

 

"The best ones always are..." Darcy grimaces before patting my head again. "Especially this one!" I duck out of her way, embarrassed, before realising Dales urgency when he came in.

 

"Wait! Who has a boyfriend? And why do you care?" I ask curiously, pulling over a tray of sequins to attach to the bodice. Dale takes this as confirmation that he can stay and pulls out the chair at my desk.

 

"Lydia! She was kissing him as soon as I dropped her off!" He whines, banging his head on to the table repeatedly. Maya giggles beside me and Darcy just looks confused.

 

"Wait... If youre gay...who is Lydia?" Dale stops to look over at us all then.

 

"My daughter!" He cries louder. "Shes turned into some kind of sexual deviant and I feel like it was only yesterday we got her!"

 

"Thats because you havent even had her for two years yet." I sigh at him.

 

"Im so confused..." Darcy mumbles to Maya.

 

"They have this weird ex-boyfriend turned best friend relationship....just let Kurt deal with him." She says back quietly, returning to her task in hand.

 

"She was kissing him Kurt! And you should have seen all the saliva...it was disgusting!" Dale rants.

 

"She is one! She comes with a daily quota of saliva to fill...and she is not a sexual deviant, she just likes to kiss people!" I argue back at him, shaking my head in disbelief at the level of insanity that he is currently displaying.

 

"But kissing always leads to more! She might become one... Maybe I need to home school her and take her out of day care..." He continues on his little rant.

 

"Im pretty sure that is a long way off so stop being a silly daddy! You are entitled to worry about her boyfriends....but not when the only thing on her daily agenda is to poop and smear food over her face under the pretence of eating!" I giggle as he listens to me carefully. God help her first actual boyfriend.

 

"Okay...."He breathes deeply to calm himself down.

 

"Now what really brought that on?" I ask in amusement as he shrugs. "Dale Porter I know you and as much as your children are precious to you, I know for a fact Lydia has been smooching all the boys -and girls for that matter - at day care for weeks. So what is going on?"

 

"Ifoundagreyhair" He breathes out as he coughs. Maya burst into a fit of laughter and I silence her with flick of my hand in her direction.

 

"Okay big deal! You are getting older...its no surprise that you will get them..."

 

"I dont want to be old...If Im old then the kids are old and that means they will start to have....I dont want them to grow up!" He says quietly, fidgeting with a bit of hair where the grey must have been.

 

"Well Im afraid they will! Do you think my dad liked me getting older when he lost my mom? More to the point do you think he enjoyed my first boyfriend being five years older than me?" I ask with my eyebrows raised pointedly at him.

 

"Probably not..." He mumbles under his breath.

 

"See thats where youre wrong...he hated that I had a boyfriend of course because that meant I was growing up...but he knew I had listened to everything he had told me about relationships and that ultimately you were a good guy. You just need to trust in your parenting skills and your kids...but most importantly be there if they need you."

 

"I suppose..."

 

"And for my sanity will you stop pouting about a grey hair? Youre still hot..... Right girls?" I ask looking round at them as Darcy nods emphatically.

 

"I mean you dont have the parts I like...but gran always says she would love to bang you into next week!" Maya says seriously, making us all laugh.

 

"Now get your butt to work before I call your husband and tell him you freaked out because your baby kissed another baby...." I laugh as he nods and goes back out the way he came.

 

"So you and him huh?" Darcy asks with a grin.

 

"A loooooooong time ago!" I exaggerate in her direction.

 

"God hes hot....." She mumbles under her breath. "I need one of them!"

 

"Trust me you dont! Hes like an overenthusiastic puppy at the best of times and then it flips to the nonsensical freak out you just witnessed. Stick to Hetero men!" Maya explains as she works.

 

"Says the lesbian...." I sing in response.

 

 

********************

 

 

"What do you think about jade?" I ask as I place a small kiss to the back of Blaines neck as he stirs the pasta.

 

"Its a colour?" he says dismissively as my hands slide around his waist and trail along his belt. "Also my cocks a bit further south..."He laughs as I nip at the skin on his stomach.

 

"Im well aware thank you!" I answer primly, punctuating it with another kiss to the back of his neck. "I meant as a wedding colour..."

 

"Oh! You sneaky little wedding planner..." He stops stirring the pasta to turn into my arms and face me.

 

"I try, I try!" I smile as his arms wrap around my neck. "So jade?" Blaine bites on his lip for a minute.

 

"I like it...It will bring out the colour of your eyes....and will match my skin tone..." He says in consideration before breaking into a huge grin. "We will look hot!"

 

"We always look hot..." I giggle squeezing his waist in closer to me. "I love you..."

 

"Hmm, youre okay I suppose..." Blaine tries to act nonchalant.

 

"Oh well...we will just have to plan who our wedding party will be instead of going to our room then..." I shrug, kissing his nose gently before pulling away completely to sit at the table.

 

"I meant love you.....like really really love you!" He back tracks as quickly as he can, rushing over to sit down beside me.

 

"To late...the binders out..." I say waving to where it is lying open on the page saying wedding party.

 

"But..."

 

"But you cant keep putting off! We have twelve months and the binder says we need to plan this out Blaine!" I say picking up pictures of our nearest and dearests heads to glue in once we had decided. "First up best man?"

 

"Cooper. I cant not have him!" Blaine states as I glue his head in. "Yours?"

 

"I kind of thought of Finn...but then Dales been such a big part of my life for almost ten years..." I frown, holding both of their goofy faces up in front of me. "I dont know!"

 

"Okay we will come back to that then...Santana as best woman?" He asks, holding her face up in front of his own face and wiggling it around.

 

"Unless we want to be castrated? Yes!" I say firmly as Blaine shudders at the thought.

 

"I was thinking we could maybe have Rachel and Maya as bridesmaids....and Lydia can be the flower girl obviously..." Blaine says putting their heads onto the paper and drawing little stick figures under them.

 

"Oh god I cant wait to make her dress!" I squeal excitedly, watching him add bodies to our heads. "Sweetie? You wish your legs were that long!" I giggle as hes draws himself taller than me.

 

"A man can dream...." He sighs with a smile. "What about all the boys?" He asks holding up our three nephews faces in front of me.

 

"Well I thought Landin could be the ring bearer and the twins could be mini grooms men? Like they could match each of our outfits." I squeak excitedly, making a mental note to start sketching as soon as possible.

 

"Why do I get the feeling that their outfits excite you more than ours?"

 

"Because they are little people suits! Ours...well mine will be a grown up one and its boring!" I smile as Blaine frowns at me.

 

"Are you insinuating Im a little person?"

 

"Maybe..." I shrug coyly in his direction.

 

"Because I dont recall you ever using it as a negative when my short legs are wrapped around your waist...." I realise then that at some point in this conversation his hand has wandered up the back of my shirt and his fingers are now dancing across my spine.

 

"Blaine...."

 

"Go wash up for dinner." He smiles teasingly at me before standing to deal with the pasta.

 

 

***************************

 

 

"So I was thinking about my best man situation!" I shout from the bed as Blaine turns off the shower behind the bathroom door.

 

"What about it?" I hear him come back as the door clips open, keeping my eye on the binder in front of me.

 

"What if Finn was my best man....." I say sticking him in place beside the others. "....And Dale was the officiate?" I ask twirling his face in between my fingers.

 

"Kurt..."

 

"I mean he has a way with words....and he has known us both since high school..."

 

"Kurt...."

 

"Unless it would be weird for you?...."

 

"Kurt...."

 

"Because hes my ex effectively and he would be marrying us....."

 

"Kurt..."

 

"But I think it would mean more than a stranger doing it you know?"

 

"Kurt! Look at me?" Blaine asks seriously and when I look up I cant help but grin.

 

"Youre naked!" I gulp, taking in his toned chest, watching as a few stray droplets of water fell from his hair down on to his chest, before trailing down his defined stomach to his pelvic bone.

 

"Nice of you to notice....." Blaine swaggers to the end of the bed before sliding up my body to hover above me. "Now what are we going to do about this?" He smiles, pulling the binder out from my hands and dropping it to the floor.

 

"Did you just dump the binder on the floor?" I ask in annoyance. I was very clear about the rules regarding that object. Blaine pays no attention and instead begins to place soft kisses across my jaw. "You threw the binder on the floor and are making no attempt to pick it up...." I trail off as his teeth graze across my skin, cursing the fact that my eyelids flutter closed of their own free will.

 

"Well I could get it...but then Id have to stop doing this...." He nips hard at my neck causing me to moan heavily without warning. "I thought that might be your response....." Blaine grins as his lips find mine and he thrusts his tongue into my open mouth. He continues to do so until he has to pull away for breath, smiling languidly at me as I try to chase him.

 

"That better not be all you are offering..." I breathe heavily, feeling a surge of electricity humming through my veins as he sits up to straddle me.

 

"Oh well I recall someone liking the thought of my legs wrapped tightly around their waist....." He whispers, trailing fingers across my waist right beside his own naked flesh. "And I thought I could maybe reinforce that memory a little...."

 

"Definitely needs reinforced....so I dont forget it." I squeak between breaths.

 

"I thought so...so lets start by taking off these..." He lifts his ass up enough to pull my pyjama pants off in one quick swoop. Making sure to sit high enough on my chest so he wasnt rubbing my stiffening erection. "Then I want you to take control and prep me Kurt....." Its all the permission I need as I flip us over to tackle his lips again, a low growl coming out from my throat.  

 

Blindly reaching for the lube in the bedside cabinet, I pop the cap and stroke myself a couple of times quickly before coating my fingers liberally and trailing along his crack, making his breath hitch with want, until I slip the first one through his ring of muscle. Blaine groans softly at the contact closing his eyes to take it all in. Blaine, eager pushes back on my finger, sighing contentedly as I introduce a second and then a third finger inside of him, each one stretching him further. As Blaine becomes pliant underneath me, writhing with every slight movement I make, his body beginning to rut against me desperately, slotting our cocks together. The moan that slips from my lips is anything but human as he builds up a rhythm to chase the friction he needs.

 

Blaines hands were everywhere he knew I liked; tracing feather light touches against my shoulders and back; becoming more insistent as he came to the curve at the top of my ass. Forcing my weight further on top of him as his breath ghosted over my lips, between pants and moans of pleasure. Once I felt him move roughly against me, I removed my fingers to line up with Blaines hole and slowly started to push in. He locked his arms in behind my neck, holding my eyes in the most loving stare I have ever witnessed until there was no more space between us as his tight heat swallowed me up. I stilled to capture his lips in mine, biting softly on his lower lip, feeling him shudder around me.

 

"God I love you..." I muffle out between his lips as Blaine moves his legs around my waist. The shift causing me to graze that bundle of nerves as he whimpers into my mouth.

 

"I love you too....you can move honey."

 

Blaine runs his fingers through the back of my hair, watching me through those familiar eyes and I cant think of anything more perfect than this moment. This feeling of my skin against his skin, our heart beats competing against each others. When I move my hips back as far as I can, Blaines legs pull me back in as quickly as he can. I cant help but close my eyes and let the feeling take over. Listening to Blaines breathy moans as I surge forward, quicker with each movement. The thrum of pleasure passing between us as we quicken our pace, chasing that elusive high. Out of nowhere I felt his body start to tense up, his legs holding me as tightly to him as possible, with only enough space to still rock inside.

 

Every nerve in my body began to tingle as I feel him begin to tighten around my cock before a drawn out moan was pulled from deep within and white ropes decorated both our stomachs. Blaine doubled his bodies efforts watching me closely as he moved up to meet each of my thrusts, then the explosion of senses happened as every muscle tightened with the last thrust burying myself deep into Blaine before collapsing on top of him. Blaines legs flop back down onto the bed as his ragged breaths begin to even out, his arms holding me tight to his chest.

 

"Wow...." I gasp quietly. "I dont think I can move..." I pepper small kisses to his chest.

 

"Then dont....." He squeezes his arms for a second to press us as tight as possible.

 

"But...sticky!" I whine half-heartedly as my muscles feel like they are a mixture of floating and sinking into the comfortable bed under me.

 

"Dont care...." Blaine whispers into my hair. "Go to sleep..." My body seems to take that as a strict order as the darkness closes in around me.

 

 

*****************************

 

 

"Okay! Can I just be the one to say it?" Maya shouts from her space on the floor, her elbows resting on the coffee table as we all watch her.

 

"Not if its going to be a complaint....." I murmur, not looking up from where I am scribbling details onto the white card with a jade bow tied in the top corner.

 

"We agreed to be your wedding party......but I didnt sign a contract saying I was okay with writing out save the date cards!" She fumes. "And while we are at it... why isnt Blaine having to sit and do this?" Santana lets out a dirty chuckle from beside her.

 

"Oh little Bumble is having a bit of trouble sitting down...."

 

"Santana!" I squeak looking up in her direction, as Maya just glares at me.

 

"Blaine gets a free pass from writing his own wedding cards because he got plundered into like theres no tomorrow!" She growls evilly at me. "Thats not fucking fair!"

 

"Ha-ha plundered..." Santana giggles hard, putting down her pen to stretch out her fingers.

 

"Guys Im right here!" Blaine mumbles from behind them, head buried into the cushion as he lies out on his stomach. "Ouch! Santana!" He cries as a hand connects with his ass.

 

"That was so worth it..." Maya grins, leaning over to kiss Santana on the lips.

 

"Can I also point out he isnt getting to write because his hand writing is terrible..." I sigh trying to get them back on point.

 

"Did he give you one too many hand jobs or..." Santana grins across at me, a blush flushing across her cheeks after the anything but gentle kiss that she had received from Maya only seconds before.

 

"No he did not!" I wail at her, throwing my own pen down in frustration. "Contrary to your opinion not everyone has as much of a sex drive as you pair!" I point accusingly at them.

 

"Your right Kurt they dont..." Maya agrees leaning over to trail her hand on Blaines ass again, making him shift away with a hiss. "But that right there proves you two could set the world record for sexual activity..."

 

"Just saying!" Santana shrugs, joining her girlfriend in prodding at Blaine to annoy him. He eventually groans and pulls himself onto his feet.

 

"I am not going to even respond to that comment and go and order dinner!" He says stiffly, leaning down to kiss my head before walking slowly to the kitchen, slightly off balance as one leg drags slower than the other.

 

"Yeah because that limp isnt saying anything!" Santana cackles after him, before they both fall on the floor in hysterics.

 

"Fuck off!" His voice echoes back through the room, causing them to laugh even more.

 

"Well done girls! I now have a grumpy fiancé to cheer up!" I groan, putting all the completed cards into a box for posting tomorrow.

 

"Relax Peachy..." Santana grins, sitting herself back up again. "We all know you have a degree in giving Bumble a good seeing too!"

 

"I dont know though babe..." Maya says seriously, sitting up beside her again, speaking in a staged whisper. "He might have lost his touch...Blaine doesnt seem all that happy for a guy who got laid last night..."

 

"I kept Blaine plenty happy thank you very much!" I mutter in annoyance as they both grin stupidly at me. "What?"

 

"Im just picturing the two of you is all.....fuck Kurt.....yes honey...right there...urgh...harder..." Santana exaggerates every moan, clutching on to the table for effect. Maya joining in with gyrating against the table.

 

"Fuck off the pair of you!" I yell, getting up to storm to the kitchen and find Blaine. Not pissed off, just not wanting to discuss my private sex life with either of them. Not noticing the matching grins and triumphant gestures they make behind me.

 

"How long before they realise we just did that to get out of writing more cards?" Maya leans into Santanas shoulder.

 

"Oh...Id say theres time for a quickie..." Santana breathes back.

 

"Race you to your room!"

 

 


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