"Im running late I know....I know! Fucking shoot the taxi driver down!" Santana screeches as she blazes through to my studio past several customers having civilised cocktails. When I look up at her bursting through the door I spit half my egg salad back out. There was my best friend standing in her bra and tube skirt while her top was dragging along the floor. "Where do you want me?" she asks as if nothing is wrong. Dale who had been quietly sipping coffee opposite me splutters as the warm liquid spits back out of his mouth.

"Tan! Gay guy eating over here!!" he wines dramatically pushing away his salad bowl on the desk in disgust. Santana, never one to miss an opportunity, picks some up into her newly manicured fingers and begins shovelling it into her mouth in an unladylike manner. "You could at least swallow first..." he groans taking another swig of his coffee.

"Please?! Youre not talking to your dutiful husband right now...." She smirks at his blush stained cheeks. "I can totally picture you in the oral act......pure filth!" she giggles stepping out of her skirt and standing on the step in the middle of the room.

"Kurt? I dont know whether to be proud she has under wear on or horrified that its a leather thong...." Dale looks soberly at me. "Is this what my life has been reduced to?" I swat my hand at him as he heads to the closet where Lydia has awoken from her nap, before pulling a rack out beside me with the dress on it. Im really proud of it; it captures Santana fierce enough with strong leather shoulders and bodice trailing tightly down her body to an off white and black lace at the bottom. Perfect in my opinion and Santanas face seems to match my enthusiasm.

"Oh my god Kurt.....this is like....like that dress everyone will talk about!" She squeals hastily pulling it on and turning to let me fasten it behind her neck. "In your face fucking J.Lo.......I have an amazing Kurt Hummel original! And you can suck it!" she squeals excitedly turning this way and that to look in the mirror. Dale blows out a whistle as he comes back into view, Lydia alert and watching everything with awe.

"Wow....you look..."Dale says watching her twirl before she stops to look at him.

"You would totally do me in this dress!" She sighs happily.

"Hmmm....if I wasnt gay..." Dale justifies the answer a little clearer.

"You would totally ride me hard if you were single.....gay or straight! This dress is totally sexuality neutral!" she claps her hands in excitement.

"That is wrong on so many levels...." I tut, moving my stool over to do some last minute hand stitching. I can feel Dale pull a chair over and start gurgling to Lydia on his knee.

"Hes not answering because he knows its true.....Kurt Hummel designs screams sex!" she grunts thrusting her hips in a suggestive manner.

"Im not answering because I dont want my childs mind to be corrupted by you..." He says as he dangles a teething ring in front of Lydias face to get her to chew on it.

"Hold on! My designs dont scream sex!" I say realising what shes implying. "Im not some nymphomaniac...if I was, the eighty year old I just designed a dress for does not meet the brief!"

"Imagine how much more amusing it would be if it did though?" Santana arches her eyebrow at me and swiftly turns her gaze to Lydia. "Oh my gorgeous girl! Have you got bad teeth? If Daddy listened to Aunty Tan you would have no sore gums anymore! No you wouldnt!" She coos earning her a dribble covered smile.

"And Daddy would end up in prison! Because slipping whiskey into your bottle is child abuse! Yes it is and your daddies dont look good in orange!" Dale smiles at her as she takes in everything he is saying before pushing her finger up his nose. "Lydia not up there! You wont get a boyfriend if you keep that up!" He smiles lovingly at her as she repeats it again.

"A girlfriend however would be totally impressed by that finger action...." We both turn to throw daggers at her and she shrugs her shoulders. "Hey Im just stating the obvious....."

"Okay Tan! Hold still or my pin is being used as a torture weapon!" I grin at her wickedly waving the pin around in my hand.

"Yeah and blood marks on your dress are soooo Lindsey Lohan...the after Disney years!" Dale shoots his eyebrows up his forehead in mock horror and Lydia reaches forward to stick her finger in his brow lines. "I have wrinkles and my child finds it amusing....why does my child find it amusing?"

"You dont have wrinkles! They are frown lines even peachy has them - OH! Kurt that hurt!"

"Dont talk such slander then! Kurt Hummel doesnt have frown lines....And for the record he will never have grey hair either!" I say strongly and she just shakes her head in amusement.

"If youre anything like big bird youll have no hair to turn grey....." She stops when she catches a glimpse of the pin Im holding hovering at the back of her knee. "Im joking! Im joking! You will never get old, bald, grey or have those disgusting orthopaedic shoes.....you will be eternally young!" she sings dramatically and Lydia goes cross eyed trying to clap her hands.

"Is that a preview of a new album song? Its not got that catchy a ring to it Tan!" Dale giggles from his chair.

"Ha-ha youre so fucking hilarious! Why did I invite you to my party?" She snarls at him with a gleam in her eye.

"Because your best gays arent going and you had to level out the minority guests attending?"

"That totally must be it.....Or that it gives you an excuse to ship the kids off to grandma and grandpa so you can have loud, drunk and very dirty sex....Its like I have my own charity.....helping sex starved parents everywhere!" She rolls her eyes at him before looking down to me. "Its a shame my fabulous designer wont be there to reap the benefits of his hard work though....." she sighs dramatically and I dont look up at her.

"Santana we have been through this! I cant go!" I say tetchily tying off my last alterations and moving back enough so she can turn around a few times.

"Hes not going to break if you leave him alone for one night Kurt....You deserve to have some fun!" She says seriously and I can tell she means business even if I cant see her face.

"Santana you know why he isnt coming, dont make him feel bad for it!" Dale sighs from the corner.

"I get it, Blaines having problems but that doesnt mean you need to stay home all the time too....its been almost three months! He wont crumble if you go out for the night!" Santana says stripping the dress off again and starting to put her own clothes back on.

"I know that Santana...."I sigh putting her dress in a garment bag before sitting back on a chair.

"Then why wont you come to my album launch!?" she half shouts and swipes Lydia out of Dales arms to cuddle the little girl on her own chair. "Is this like payback for the time I stole your skinny jeans? Because I didnt know the foam would stain them!" She says apologetically and I wonder what jeans she is referring to.

"Hold on why did you wear Kurts jeans?" Dale asks from the corner, a frown on his face.

"They were tighter than any pair I owned!" she says as if its obvious and Dale just rolls his eyes.

"First off my jeans are not that tight...." They both throw me a yeah right look which I choose to ignore. "Secondly that isnt why Im not coming to your party!"

"Well why? What could be more important than supporting your best friend?"

"One of his best friends..." Dale throws in from his spot in the corner where he is now flipping through a magazine.

"Having sex with my boyfriend!" I scream and they both stare at me, jaws wide.

"Sex? Sex with your boyfriend....as in you havent been having it? I live with you! How did I not know you werent having it?" Santana mumbles. "You fuck like rabbits-"

"Tan language! Baby present!" Dale directs at her before looking towards me again. "You havent had sex...since before his relapse?"

"No, I didnt want to stunt his growth...." I try to explain and hate that Im blushing.

"Ha-ha stunt his growth!" Santana chuckles hold Lydia up as a shield before I could hit her.

"You know what I mean! But hes been doing so well in our sessions and I feel like we are back to our kind of honesty level again so I thought tonight would be a perfect-"

"Chance to fuck each others brains out?" Santana says and turns Lydia around to face her. "See what I have to deal with baby girl? You should just love girls like me....penises are too much hassle!"

"Santana...dont make me give you a baby time out....." Dale counters.

"At least she said penis this time..." I offer helpfully. "Tan if you really want me to come I will, but I do feel bad leaving Blaine at home....at least if I stayed we could....reconnect again. In private..." I say softly trying to make her understand I wouldnt just miss this for any old problem.  She silently pulls faces at Lydia for a minute before looking back over to me.

"No its fine....there will be other parties right? You just take care of bumble....in all senses of the word..." She grins wiggling her eyebrows at me.

"Tan, dont you have to be at the salon? Its almost three...." Dale says pointing to the clock on the wall.

"Shit!" she says jumping up and grabbing her bag before running out the door. I turned confused to Dale and he just held up his fingers counting down from five to one as she ran back in.  "Couldnt have told me I still had the baby?" She gripes handing Lydia over to Dale and went to run back out the door.

"Tan?!" I shout after her standing up and holding the garment bag out in front of me. She skids to a halt in front of me and snatches the bag.

"Thanks peachy I love you!" She kisses my nose before running back out the front and screaming "FUCK HIM HARD!" Before the front door slams shut and the chimes rattle in her wake.

"Pretty sure your customers can do a tell all and make it sound like youre running a brothel....." Dale giggles as I sigh to myself. I ignore him and walk over to the closet to pull out his own garment bag and a smaller one, before heading back towards him.

"For the Porters...." I add with a flourish of my hand and a slight bow. "Suits for Daddies......and a dress for Princess Beau...." I smile wiggling the bags in front of my body.

"Kurt shes not even going tonight....and unlike the kind of family you wish we had....staying with Jakes Moms isnt a red carpet event-"

"But I even made her little patent shoes....." I whine dramatically waving the bag in front of him and Lydia starts to giggle.

"Fine....but if you tell Jake we did another photo shoot without him I am forever going to be on the couch!" He sighs in defeat before taking the garment bag and trying to start undressing Lydia. "Lydia can you say lets keep secrets from Daddy?" Lydia watches us both seriously for a minute before clapping her hands again.

"TA!" she squealed in delight as he blew raspberries across her now bare stomach.

"Ill go get the camera!" I sing happily before skipping off to the front of the shop.

***************************

"Blaine??" I whisper softly into the darkened room. In our haste to get to bed I hadnt fully  shut the blinds and there was a gap where sunlight crept through, threatening the early morning upon us as we lay naked and tangled together in bed. Blaines even breath was drifting out into the open space, as he lies on his back with his side press against my chest. "Blaine?" I whisper a little louder and feel his body tense up beside me.

"Noooo" he mumbles beside me still not opening his eyes.

"You dont even know what I was about to say..." I point out, softly rubbing my nose against his ear.

"Dont care....too early..." he huffs out between a few yawns.

"But Im naked...." I smile as his fingers around my waist twitch slightly.

"I caused that....." he grins but keeps his eyes closed tight.

"Blaine...."I whine a little louder in his ear, he moves his free arm over my mouth to muffle whatever I am about to say.

"Sleep now....sex later...." His voice is thick with sleep but I can tell hes more awake than hes letting on so decided to nip the palm of his hand with my teeth. "Oww you bit me!" He moans loudly and opens his eyes to look at me; I bat my eyes innocently as if I didnt. "If I move my hand are you going to start conspiracy theories? Because I need coffee before any part of my brain will work properly." He says firmly and I shake my head. After thinking it over for a minute he drops his hand to let me talk.

"Theres someone in Santanas room!" I say excitedly and he groans closing his eyes again.

"No, no, no, NO! No talk of girl on girl activity in our room...." He moans rubbing at his head.

"But it could be Maya...." I say forcing his eyes back open with my fingers.  "Dont you know what this means!"

"Kurt you said you werent getting involved! I call this getting involved!" He says evenly trying to blink under my fingers. "Will you let me blink?"

"Are you going to go back to sleep?"

"Are you going to keep plotting how to find out who is through there?"

"Are you going to help me with my plan?"

"Are you going to keep answering all my questions with a question?" I growl letting his eyes go as he blinks a few times to get them to stop watering. "Thank you!"

"Can we go check whos in there?" I beg nodding towards the door; Blaine uses this time to pull himself up against the head board before pulling me up on to his chest. "Just a quick peek round the door they will never know!"

"Kurt they could be naked.....they could be having sex...and as much as I love Santana that is not an image I want ingrained in my memory." He explains, trailing his finger up and down my side. "You will just have to wait for her to tell you."

"But that would take forever!" I whine like a petulant child, life is so unfair sometimes! "Cant we just go and spy like good friends would?"

"Id prefer to stay here, very naked like good fiancés would!" he laughs squeezing me tight to his chest. "Im sure we could find something to do..." he says, arching his eyebrow in a mischievous grin.

"No sex for you until you help me!" I say standing up to pace the floor at the bottom of the bed. "She could have anyone through there, and if she does Maya will be hurt. But if Mayas through there she might be even more upset if this is just a drunken fumble, but what if its not a drunken fumble? Oh my god what if they are getting back together! Thats like the best love story ever!"

"Kurt if you want me to concentrate on anything you need to put some sweats on...." Blaine says waving his hands towards my naked body. "Plus Im pretty sure that our love story is the best!" he adds as I start to pull some clothes on and throw a hoodie and pants at him.

"Yeah but now we are engaged. Remember when we were all oblivious to our feelings and had all these awkward moments and secret looks and blurting out our feelings during a huge argument.....thats what makes the story great...angst! Everyone loves a bit of angst!"

"That was hell! You thought so at the time too! It just gets romanticised as time moves on because you remember things differently, I think our current love story is much better!" he says decidedly, moving over to stand in front of me.

"Your right I suppose...if there was a time machine I would definitely go back and tell teenage me to not worry, soul mates always find each other." I hold one of his hands in mine and give it a gentle squeeze.

"Whereas I would go back and tell teenage Blaine to never start drinking, meaning I wouldnt have had a relapse meaning we could have been at the party and we would have known who was with Santana, meaning we could be having sex right now instead of getting up to meddle!" Blaine says seriously but picks my other hand up to squeeze it too.

"Ha-ha your funny, you wouldnt give him a heads up that he loved me?" I say coyly, taking a step towards him.

"Hey if I had told him that first I would have just got Kurt sex then....you would have maybe even done that thing with your tongue-"

"No I didnt learn that till I was twenty...." I smile giving him a gentle kiss before pulling back. ".....and youre totally welcome for that though...."

"If you want me to function like a polite man you better move away from me and go make coffee...." He states simply, before I kiss his nose and pull him out the room after me. "Im totally serious."

*******************************

An hour later we were sitting on the couch hate watching four weddings and I was slowly becoming more agitated. I couldnt say I wished I was at the album launch party because me and Blaine were finally in sync again and I wouldnt trade that for the world.....but I wish I knew who was in there, its a gay best friends right surely? I had already tried to open the door which was locked, which then led me to using a hand mirror to try and slide it under the door. Blaine had put a stop to that and told me as politely as he could that I was acting bat shit crazy. Its not like I can help it though! I hate not knowing things and I was becoming increasingly irate as the minutes slowly dragged by.

"Kurt? A watched pot never boils...." Blaine smiles smugly to himself as I grunt from beside him.

"But a watched best friends door might show a slutty one night stand!" I counter happily, but the door remains firmly in place. I wish I had laser beams for eyes....it would really help in these kinds of situations. "That dress is horrendous!" I sneer as an over the top bride rants to the camera in what can only be described as the parachute that time forgot.

"Always with the dresses.....its not like one will ever be a problem when we get married...." Blaine mumbles from under his coffee cup. "If we get married..."he mumbles slightly quieter but I hear it.

"When!" I say loudly into his ear as I curl back round him to rub my nose against his cheek. "You put a ring on it....that is a binding contract! No takesies backsies!"

"Are you five?" He laughs at my childish behaviour, before something on the screen catches his attention. "Husbands a two....and thats on a good day!"

"Im pretty sure you are the only man on the planet to use a scoring system for the husbands..."I shake my head in disbelief at his favourite part of this show.

"Are you kidding?! Its like high school but we can be the bitchy cheerleaders-"

"I always knew you wanted to be a cheerleader....just the thought of all that polyester...." I shudder at the thought.

"Shut up you know what I mean! You get to be all judgemental with no effects."

"Slight flaw in the plan...."I say realising his error.  "Who do you judge when its two guys?" Blaine looks completely flummoxed for a minute before responding.

"The ugliest one?" he asks as if its a question.

"So who would get rated out of us?" I ask in amusement knowing he will squirm before answering.

"Dont answer that its a trap!" Cooper screams as he burst through the door. How we hadnt heard him sneak in I have no idea.

"How are you up this early?" Blaine asks in surprise and I turn to take a really good look at him. Hes still in his outfit I had made for the night before, his hair is on the wrong side of dishevelled and that grin he is wearing can only mean one thing....

"Who says Ive been to sleep?" he answers cockily as he thumps down into a chair opposite us.

"Youre ridiculous!" Blaine groans as he winks at us. "Who was it this time?" Cooper frowns slightly and I laugh.

"You dont know her name do you?" I ask feeling highly amused.

"One was blonde...." He says looking to the ceiling in thought.

"One? As in there was more than one?" Blaine asks in shock.

"Scarecrow tell him its not a big deal to have a threesome in this day and age! You did it!" Cooper exclaims and I choke on the coffee I was swallowing.

"What-you-how-" Blaine stutters staring at me confused.

"Shit! He didnt know that?" Cooper says rubbing his hand through his hair as I glare at him.

"You think?" I say sarcastically. "Blaine it was a long time ago after one too many cocktails and it was horrible....." I say softly facing Blaine.

"Please tell me it wasnt with Dale and Jake..."

"EWWWW!!" Cooper wails from his chair.

"NO! It was someone I was dating and a guy he knew...no big deal! And dont get any ideas because Im not sharing you with anyone!" I say firmly kissing Blaines nose before looking back to Cooper. "Go and sleep off your drink induced state....We want all the party gossip when you wake up!"

"Have you changed the sheets?" Cooper asks with a raised eye brow as he gets up to stumble to our room.

"Yes! This morning...." Blaine says as Cooper laughs.

"I knew you were at it last night! The mark on Kurts neck was a dead giveaway!" he yells before slamming the door behind him.

"My brother ladies and gentlemen...." Blaine mumbles sinking against my body again before wrapping his arms around me. "Sorry about your neck.....but Im not really sorry!" he giggles a little at the statement.

"Its okay....at least I have a scarf obsession to cover it up!" I smile using my hand to play with his curls. There were a few muffled bangs and then a squeak as Santanas door started to open. "Oh my god its happening!" I whisper holding my breath as the footsteps get closer, but still quiet like the owner is bare foot.

"Oh shit!" is all that comes out of her mouth as she catches sight of me and Blaine on the couch, as predicted her platform wedges were in her hand.

"And first out today ladies and Gentlemen is Maya Benson...." Blaine smiles broadly as she just stands at the edge of the room, almost like shes debating whether to run back or not.

"Maya is a twenty three year old designer who works with the very talented Kurt Hummel......" I say with a huge grin as she rolls her eyes.

"Maya comes in at around 56 with olive skin and gorgeous long auburn hair...." Blaine continues, his eyes not leaving Maya for a second.

"And today she is wearing the new fashion forward collection called Dirty little stop out.....and the incredibly sought after shoe bracelet.....but there is only one question left to answer...." I trail off as she tries to stare me down.

".....Is she going commando-"

"You guys suck ass!" Maya huffs in annoyance before storming out the apartment. We both burst into hysterics before catching each others gaze and realizing Santanas door is now unlocked and she is probably awake. Without another thought we both lunge off of the couch and burst into Santanas room slamming down onto the lump beneath the bed sheet that has to be her.

"Fuck off....." she drones, her voice husky from one too many glasses of champagne.

"How rude! Would you believe this is the attitude of the girl who had sex with her ex-girlfriend all last night?" I ask Blaine still engulfing Santanas hidden body on top of the comforter.

"Hmmm...maybe shes turning into one of those people with morals....maybe she cant hack a passionate night of fucking anymore..."Blaine coaxes knowing Santana will eventually take the bait.

"Your right! I mean she is almost twenty eight......Definitely past her prime....." I smile as Blaine winks at me.

"I mean its not like Maya seemed that satisfied either......shes obviously lost her powers when it comes to sex......" Blaine is cut off by Santana wriggling underneath him and after a few minutes her head pops out next to us.

"Fuck both of you! I am and will always be an amazing lover!" She says bluntly before looking at me. "What is it Kurt?!"

"What does this mean?" I ask excitedly and Santana just rolls her eyes.

"That you are seriously killing my happy buzz....dont you have your own bed to go to?"

"Cooper is in it! Come on tell us what happened?" Blaine urges and I find it amusing how against this he was an hour ago.

"Party was a success, I got really drunk, set Coop up with two backing singers, bumped into Maya, foreplay in the taxi, lots of sex and then you two appeared!" She says in a droll voice.

"But what does this mean? Are you getting back together?" I bounce a little on the bed.

"I dont know okay?!" Santana yells in frustration.

"But do you want too?" Blaine asks teasingly.

"I dont know, maybe?"

"Arghhh!!! This is so exciting we can double date and -"

"NO! No way! Over my dead body Hummel!" She says cutting me off.

"You love her!" Blaine exclaims in equal excitement.

"No I dont!" Santana groans. "Now I have a raging hangover if you are staying in this area it will be to spoon me to sleep..." We both huddle in under the covers deciding there will be plenty of time to interrogate the pair and then Blaine jumps out the bed like he has been bitten.

"Youre naked!" he screams holding in his automatic reflex to gag at all things girl.

"Hahaha worth it every time...." Santana mumbles before shutting her eyes and pinning me down beside her.