Blaine was certain of many things in life. At the age of thirty-three, he felt more confident about one thing being truer than any other. He was married to a mad man. Not in the sense that he might get mutilated in his sleep, no he had never felt threatened, in fact he never felt safer than when he was wrapped in his amazing husband's arms. But the point still stands that Kurt Hummel-Anderson is a mad man. If Blaine thought that the wedding plans had been stressful? Then Willow's first birthday party planning was catatonic.

“Uncle Blaine? Uncle Blaine?!” Landin's voice brings him round from his day dreaming on the bench in the back yard. He and Kurt had decided to move after they both turned thirty-one, realising that if the future family they were planning on happened, they needed space and a lot of it. After six months of searching, painstakingly for the perfect Bushwick house, because neither wanted to move further from their family and friends than necessary, until they found it. A newly renovated five bedroomed house, with ample garden space, the Hummel-Andersons took it at first sight.  “You were doing that weird face again!” Landin filters through again, making Blaine look in his direction.

“I was not!” Blaine cries indignantly. Landin turns, putting both hands on his hips, rolling his eyes dramatically. His wisdom, spanning more than the twelve years of age he actually is, has grown almost as much as his constantly growing height and Blaine can't help but smile at the tangle of long limbs he is becoming.

“You were!” Landin persist, walking towards him and leaving his football on the grass. “And your phone has rung like eight times! Uncle Kurt is gonna cut your nuts off!”

“Landin Alexander Porter!” Dales voice appears from the screen door, Blaine whips round to see him carrying out a tray of lemonade and sandwiches, a stern look across his face. “Don't make me wash your mouth out with soap! Where in the world did you here that!”

“Aunty Tan, she doesn't treat me like I'm a kid!” Landin explains as Dale places the tray beside Blaine walking over to clip the side of Landin's ear, Blaine lets out a laugh, spraying lemonade everywhere, when he ducks. “Hey! She told me it, it should be her that gets the hit!”

“Oh she'll get more than a hit when she brings your sister back, let me tell you!” Dale mutters darkly, looking to Blaine. “What else has she been teaching him?!”

“How the hell would I know?!” Blaine cries back, throwing his hands to his head in protection. “It's not like anyone ever has any control on her…she's like a lone wild lion hunting her pray most of the time!”

“Cheetahs live on their own…Lions live in packs.” Landin supplies, the little genius that he is.

“Don't start trying to play boy genius! What else did Santana tell you?” Dale asks, seriously but knowing that aside from brainwashing him, there is little they can do to Santana proof their children.

“That Uncle Kurt has gone loco cabrones about the party. That Uncle Blaine is a thumb, or…no I don't think that's how she said it. Under the thumb, I think!” Landin scrunches his face up in concentration. “I didn't really understand that one. She said some really funny things about Maya too, but then Maya threw spaghetti at her and it turned into a food fight.” He laughs, making a move to go pick up the ball.

“Landin, I am going to let you in on a secret that I learned after an embarrassing discussion with a very straight Spanish rap star…” Dale starts, pulling Landin's attention back to him. “Anything your Aunty Tan says in Spanish, is something you should not repeat in public.” He gives Landin a warning stare, which Landin laughs at and runs off to find his ball. Dale flops into a chair beside Blaine and blows out a deep sigh.

“Do I want to know what you said to the rapper?” Blaine asks, grinning through his glass of lemonade.

“Let's just say it translated in to a very graphic come on, we almost lost him as a client at the label!” Dale shivers at the memory alone. “Any way, why is Kurt going to cut your nuts off?”

“I've been ignoring his calls all day…” Blaine sighs, taking another sip of his soda. “Oh, and your son says I look like I'm going to break down and cry constantly. Which is not true, I mean my face just looks like this. I can't help it!”

“Why are you ignoring his calls? You know that he will withhold all sex as revenge right? And don't say anything, because I know Willow teething makes it hard as it is to get lucky!”

“Why have I been ignoring his calls?” Blaine whines, setting his drink down to turn and fully face Dale. “I don't know if the last fifteen years have made you forgetful? But My husband? You know the tall, beautiful man I married three years ago? Is a full blown sociopath?”

“He's hardly a sociopath! Better than you bawling your eye's out every time you think about your baby turning one! At least he's not in denial!” Dale laughs, not getting the full extent of Kurt's madness.

“Excuse me! I can't help it that I don't want her to grow up and become a ball of attitude that's too embarrassed to hold my hand, or even acknowledge me in public, I always want to be her cool dad.”

“We both know Kurt will be the cool dad, that gets her birth control-“

“He will not!” Blaine yelps covering his ears. “I don't know why your laughing, Lydia is five, meaning she'll be at that age before my daughter will!” Dale shut up at that, looking in to his glass and sighing.

“Is it too early to have a glass of wine?”

“For the alcoholic? Yes. For the dad who is about to have a melt down? No!” Blaine stands to head in doors for the wine, thinking back over the last year.

The call that changed everything had come just over a year ago, at two in the afternoon on a hectic Monday. Kurt was having a meltdown about Demi Lovato's dress for her tour, and Blaine was trying to nail down a chorus for a song he had been working on, resulting in them both working in the same room in total silence. Then the vintage spin dial phone had started to ring making them both look up in hope, the same way it had every time it rand since they were approved two months previously for adoptive parents.  Except this time, it was the call they had been longing for, there was a teenager ready to pop, who had hand-picked them and wanted to meet, the next day.

After two weeks of panicking that things wouldn't work out, they got another phone call, this time at 3.47 am. Willow Elizabeth Hummel-Anderson had made a fast entrance in to the world at an impressive weight of 7lbs 8oz. Blaine, and Kurt, were done for the minute they held her. And now here they were, two days away from her first birthday (which Kurt was turning into an extravaganza the only way Kurt knew how) and Blaine was becoming more on edge as it drew closer.

“Blaine?” Jake's voice appeared from the front door. “Blaine? I need your help!” Blaine noted the aggravated tone and rushed to greet him. They sight that met him was not what he was expecting.

“What the hell…” Blaine asks, running forward to help Jake drag two cylinders into their hallway.

“Don't… even…ask!” Jake grunts pushing them in against the wall. “Kurt needs you to help him in the drive, be warned I think he has gone full on apocalyptic. It could be the end of the world Blaine, literally the end of the world!” Blaine shudders, shouldering open the door and heading to find his husband, straddled over four more giant cylinders, a pile of party store supply bags scattered around his feet.

“Um…Kurt?” Blaine's voice has Kurt spinning his head around to look in his direction. “What the hell have you been buying?” Blaine's questioning gaze done a quick bag count, there are twenty, at least and that's not to mention the boxes of fireworks and bouncy castle he has already brought home.

“Okay, the helium is necessary.  You can't have a birthday party without balloons Blaine!”

“Balloons, definitely honey.” Blaine placates Kurt with a gentle tone. “But you've brought enough helium to inflate the parade home!” Kurt rolls his eyes, handing Blaine six large bags that he peaks into.

“Don't be such a drama queen Blaine. The guy in the shop said you'll get about a hundred balloons per canister.” Blaine is listening while, prying through the bags in his possession.

“Where are we going to put six hundred balloons? It's going to be like that scene in up. Instead of a loveable old man, we'll have two drunk bitchy lesbians.” Blaine drawls, until he notices something to make him look at Kurt. “Why have you bought three piñatas?”

“Blaine, we can't have people stereotyping us because we only bought a pink sparkly one!” Kurt addresses as he pushes the canisters towards the house. “I had to cater for boys too, and then I thought what about the gender neutral community? You can't be seen to eliminate them. What would people think?”

“I don't know, how about that it's pink and sparkly because our baby GIRL is about to turn one?”

“Oh my little bumble bee, this is why I host the parties!  You just don't get it!” Kurt laughs as he continues towards the house. Leaving Blaine, more sure that ever, that he is married to a mad man.

*************

“You are so gorgeous, yes you are! You're are my favourite person in the whole wide world!” Blaine murmurs softly to Willow's freshly awoken face, earning himself a huge grin. “Yes you are! And your Daddy loves you to the moon and back. Yes, he does. Willow is the most beautiful girl in all the world! Yes you are, even more beautiful than your other d-“

“Okay! That's enough!” Santana drawls creeping up behind him. “You're embarrassing her; look she's rolling her eyes! Telling me she thinks her daddy Blaine is the biggest dork in all the world.” Willow gurgles happily when Santana appears to pull faces at her over Blaine's shoulder.

“Santana that's mean!” Blaine argues back, not taking his eyes off of Willows chubby little cheeks.

“Don't worry, you're not half as embarrassing as her other dad, she's mortified by the pink womb of balloons and glitter that have appeared throughout the house and garden. She's already living in dread about what he will do for her sixteenth. She wants me to kidnap her before her street cred is damaged any further. Dontcha my little princess?” Santana asks rhetorically, leaning down to give her cheeks a sloppy kiss.

“It's funny, don't you think, that you claim you don't want children. Yet can apparently communicate with the toddler community of the world, much to parent's disgust.” Blaine grins planting a kiss on Santana's cheek, making her grimace and Willow laugh loud.

“Look, if this is about that mommy and me class, I didn't realise that his mom was listening so intently. I thought she was too busy talking to Kurt about her ‘mommy job'. Which isn't her career FYI, it's to do with tightening all her insides back –“

“LALALALA!” Blaine screeches covering his and Willows ears. “Santana please don't scar me anymore than you already mentally have, plus Willow is only turning one, can't you scar her emotionally in a few years like any good godmother would?” Santana laughs, leaning down to scoop up the baby, dancing around in a few circles, heading towards the nursery door.

“Come on daddy, the fire work extravaganza is about to begin!” She calls over her shoulder, beckoning Blaine to follow them.

******************

“Wow! That was…definitely something!” Copper exhales, looking to his brother in law.

“Okay, you can let me have it.” Kurt sighs, watching Blaine dance under the gazebo with their daughter as Finn tries to balance a wriggling Marnie and Zara on his hip. When Rachel had announced shortly after their wedding, that she was in fact expecting another set of twins, everyone was shocked and ecstatic. Except Rachel, who had nightmares of pushing two more Finn sized children out of her, throughout her pregnancy. They had just celebrated their second birthday at the start of the year.

“Don't do it Cooper!” Burt cuts in from the other side of Kurt. “You know how defensive he gets, he'd rather you lied and told him how brilliant it was.”

“Well how good do you think it was Dad?” Kurt asks, turning his gaze to him while Cooper mimes behind his back to say nothing.

“Aww kid, don't make me say it…” Burt sighs, but Kurt's stare is relentless making him cave, as cooper stares on in shock. “You know I love you, to the moon and back, but you also know that you have the ability to over step when it comes to party planning. You love deeply and like to display that, and I'm not having a dig at you, but she's one. You have given her this massive party that she won't ever really remember, it has been amazing but she'd have been just as happy with a few balloons and a cardboard box.” Burt pats his son on the back, his gentle tone truly showing Kurt that he gets it.

“I know, to be honest, the party was more a celebration for me and Blaine.” Kurt admits, taking a sip out of his wine glass. “There was a time, when I didn't expect to ever have this family life, and I was fine with it because I still got to have my soulmate. Then he gave me the best gift I could ever give by saying he wanted a family with me, and I didn't think I could love him more. Then willow came and I just, it's silly isn't it? Nothing has changed really, except that we have this tiny human to keep alive, but watching him with her makes me fall more and more in love with him every time. Look at them!” Kurt says, drawing all three men's attention to his husband still on the dance floor, singing into willows ear as Landin makes a display of dance moves to make his cousin laugh.

“Yeah, he's loveable aright.” Cooper sighs dreamily. “And I mean that in the straightest, brotherly way I can. You've made his life you know? Wanting to have all of this with him. Right down to the two cats!” Cooper laughs as Kurt groans.

“I threatened to kick them out after Pepper shredded one of the piñatas to pieces, Blaine made me apologise and assure them I was their Daddy forever. I seriously wish I was joking!” Kurt sighs, taking another sip on his wine.

“You know it kind of serves you right, no party needs three piñatas. It's Karma.” Burt grins.

“Ha! You know you're probably gonna get noise complaints from the neighbours for that fireworks display to, right? I don't think the Disney shows go that all out!” Cooper mumbles around a swig of beer. “Imagine the headlines. Fashion extraordinaire causes explosion after daughter first birthday!”

“If you don't want one of the rockets shoved up your ass, I'd remove yourself from my presence ‘brother'” Kurt grins wickedly, making to stand and pounce, but Coopers quicker. Sprinting toward Blaine and his niece and snatching her away abruptly for protection. “Was I really that out of control?” Kurt asks Burt seriously.

“Kid, I have learned a long time ago, to know when you don't really want to hear the answer. So I'm saying nada!” Burt grins sipping on his on beer. “Besides, when are you and Blaine gonna give me more grandbabies? Your brother has you beat by three, I might love him more because of that.”

“Once I get to have more time with my husband without a baby wedged between us screaming, I'll let you know!” Kurt rolls his eyes at the excited jiggle it brings out in Burt. “It's a long way off old man!”