Four weeks! Thats how long it takes to organise the perfect Baby shower. The invitations, ordering decorations, making a gift list, ordering your own choice of gift, planning a menu and finding white onesies at wholesale prices takes a long time! Thankfully after pulling an all-nighter I was able to get everything ready for the grand reveal to Blaine on the morning of the shower. Santana to no surprise had been ‘too busy to help with any of the actual work and instead supplied a credit card for me to use ‘in emergencies.......okay I may have classed the new Kurt Geiger shoes as said emergency. BUT in my defence they were perfect baby shower attire. I heard the chimes above the door signal Blaines entrance and stood back to watch his reaction with pride.

"Wow Kurt, this is all a bit..." Blaine trailed off, taking in the shops décor. I was quite proud of it; I had pink and white balloons filled with helium and glitter. Dales catering company had made baby everything.... tiny little burgers, tiny little cupcakes and amazing little raspberry cheesecake bites. I had a onesie decorating station, guess the bottled cocktails, photos of all the guests as babies to have as a guess who game. It was as perfect as any baby shower could be.

"You dont need to say anything. I know its amazing!" I clap my own hands at the excitement.

"Err its just a little bit..." I turned when I noted the hesitance in his voice, it was reserved for when he didnt want to tell me what he thought.

"A little bit what?" I huff, already feeling defensive.

"Its just a bit...gay!" He stutters, watching my reaction carefully, biting his bottom lip and looking nervous.

"Funny considering Im gay, so are you - quite happily too if I remember what we did last night. And I am hosting this for our gay friends who are having a baby girl." I state, crossing the shop to fix a couple of lop sided balloons.

"I know we are, and at the risk of never getting a repeat of last night ever again... Its a bit too much." He says slowly and I can feel his eyes on me as I go about adjusting the decorating station.

"So now Im too much and Im too gay? Really nice to know Blaine! Maybe Ill take that into account the next time I go out in public. Wouldnt want to offend anybody, would I?" I slam a few pots of glitter down in front of me, letting out a sigh.

"Thats not what I meant and you know it! I just think - "

"Think what? That Im acting like a woman? That the all-nighter I pulled off to get this done on my own wasnt worth it? Tell me Blaine, what exactly do you think, huh?" I spin round to face him and throw the best bitch glare I can muster when all I want to do is cry because my boyfriend doesnt like my party. He motions me towards the soft seating with various pink throw cushions, but I stubbornly stay still. Seeing hes not going to win he walks over to me and forcibly grabs my hand to lead me over and pushes me into the seat.

"Please just listen and dont go all nuts thinking I said something I didnt." He asks gently, trying to prise a smile out of me with his puppy dog eyes.

"Nuts? So Im too gay, too much, and Im psychotic?" I fume, crossing my arms across my chest. "What a hardship I must be to live with! Really feel free to leave..." I nod my head to the door and he looks down at his now empty hands with a sigh.

"Will you just listen!" He raises his voice a little to silence me. "I didnt say you were too much, or crazy OR too gay. As far as Im concerned you could never be gay enough! Any time you feel the need to fuck me hard or make love to me, Ill be there. Forever. I just think this shower isnt really what we are all about." He says, looking me in the eyes and I start to sniffle in hopes of the tears not coming out. Who knew sleep deprivation and eight espressos would turn you in to a hot mess?

"But I read, like, thirty how to plan the perfect shower blogs. This is the classiest I could have put it together." I sniff harder and blink quickly to stop my eyes from brimming with tears.

"Kurt, I want you to really listen. Okay?" I nod as my hand gets pulled back into Blaines, resting in my lap. "Showers are aimed at pregnant women who have the baby in their...um...lady parts! And they cant have a drink or anything like that and are all hormonal and just want to  eat all the time. Dale and Jake are both in their thirties with a six year old already. This should be a celebration about this amazing thing they are doing, and a last round of being drunk for the next year or so. I just think you could make it amazing for them, maybe have a little stage set up over there for everyone to sing, or Dale to strip..." He waves to the corner by the window. "Keep the onesie decorating table and drinks in a bottle, but put your stamp on it. Like who can make the funniest, slightly rude onesie. Because although you are prone to flying off the handle, and get very defensive, and cannot handle having no sleep, I love you!" He trailed a finger across my jaw, calming me a little.

"Im sorry Im such a nightmare. I just want this to be perfect for them! They are such amazing parents to Landin and now they are getting to have a chance to change this little girls life. I just want them to know how loved shes going to be..." I curse as the tears start falling down my face. "I just want it to be perfect."

"Oh honey! They know how much you love them and how much you would do for this new little niece. And youre definitely not a nightmare. A little unhinged with four espressos in your system, but nothing I cant handle." He pulls me forward to lean our heads together.

"I had eight..." I mumble, biting my lip.

"You must be really awake right now then, huh?" He asks quietly. "We could get very gay together? You know, to stress how much I enjoy it." He grins, kissing my lips softly.

"Or you could help me fix this party?" I smile at his groan, but open my eyes wide to flutter my lashes at him.

"Fine! I hate your face right now!" He moans as I put a small kiss onto his nose. "Im horny and youre making me do heavy lifting."

"You love my face, and watching you heavy lift will get me sooooo hot." I whisper seductively into his ear.

"Whos womb exploded in here?" Santana yells from the door as she barges in with masses of baby shopping bags. And we both share a look before getting up and starting to organise.

*********************

Okay so Blaine might have been right. Making this unique was definitely the way to go. The only down fall might have been letting it be an open bar. Five hours in and everyone was well on their way, even if it was only six pm.

"This is the best baby shower I have been to...EVER!" Cooper yells excitedly, swigging out of a beer bottle as he addresses the table.

"Its the only baby shower youve been to Coop!" Blaine shouts at him.

"If I knew they were this good I would go to more.... Or Id get someone pregnant lots of times so I could have my own ones." He slurs happily and Santana punches him hard when he winks at her.

"Not with me youre not! I told you barbed wire." She makes her hands into an arrow and aims it at her crotch.

"Guys this is not proper decorum for a shower. Oh, my husband is naked..." Jakes stares across at the stage where Dale was balancing a baby teddy bear in front of himself.

"Oh, hes-"

"Kurt Hummel, you finish that sentence and you will be on the couch tonight!" Blaine yelped beside me and I frown at him.

"I was going to say hes violated that bear." I answer sweetly.

"Ha-ha Kurt was going to say hes huge! Jake you lucky boy!" Santana grinned at us. "And I mean that in the most lesbian way that it can be said."

"Not like its anything Ive not seen." I argue back at her and then regret it.

"Oh I forgot youve seen his magic wand." She laughed and Jake did too. "Whos bigger?" She raises her eyebrows at me.

"Oh yeah! Who is bigger?" Cooper asks, looking back at Jake. "How do you walk after that?" He thumbs in Dales direction as the bear is thrust around above his head.

"Guys, we are not talking about this!" I yell, feeling my cheeks go crimson.

"Hey Im not complaining. He knows how to work it, thats all that matters." Jake shrugs, readjusting himself on the chair.

"That means Dale is bigger. Not surprising Blaine is very...hobbit like." Santana assesses.

"Santana! I am not discussing any of my boyfriends body parts, previous or present." I glare at her.

"Hey, dont get prissy with me! Youre the one not wanting to comment." She rolls her eyes and Cooper pats her on the back.

"Can we please not talk about this. Some of us arent drunk enough to forget it." Blaine states from the corner.

"Aww Blaine, dont be embarrassed. It cant be that bad. Is it that bad?" Mrs B pipes up from where she has been sitting quietly listening to the turn of events.

"No its not!" He groans, getting up and leaving the table.

"Oh Hummels definitely not getting the slutty baby shower sex." Santana giggles.

"Wait, theres slutty baby shower sex?" Cooper bounces excitedly.

"Of course, its just like at weddings. One couple always has really slutty sex. Its a given!" She smiles happily.

"No its not." I sigh, rubbing my forehead slightly. "Ive told you this over and over...people dont have slutty sex at baby showers. That is not a thing."

"Well if like you said baby showers are refined and elegant, why is daddy D gyrating against that old lady? Naked." She nods her head over to where Dale is shimming up and down a very scared looking woman in a twin set and pearls.

"Thats my boss!" Jake squeaks, jumping into action and climbing over the back of his chair to reach his intoxicated husband. "Baby, no!"

"The Porters are out of the slutty sex race. That leaves it up to us three!" Cooper cheers pointedly looking at Santana and Mrs B. "Plus, theres no other straight guys here Mable! Bets on who can win?" He holds out his hand to Santana.

"Youre on old man." Santana grabs his hand and squeezes it till he yelps.

"Can I put a fifty on Tan?" I smile happily as they both stalk off to find their prey.

****************

"Babe, hurry up!" Blaine moans from under the covers, as I sit rubbing in my moisturiser at the vanity unit. "I want to sleep."

"Okay, Im almost finished." I smile, plopping my last dollop of cream onto my cheeks and slowly working it into the pores. "You okay? You were kind of quiet tonight." I gaze into his reflection in the mirror.

"Yeah. It was a good party. I just wish my manhood didnt get brought into question." He shrugs further under the covers and I realise it bothered him more than he cared to admit. I watched him fidget in the bed while I finished up, before standing and flicking off the lights plunging the room into darkness and scurrying into bed beside him. I turned onto my side to watch him as I trailed a finger across his bare chest. "Im not in the mood Kurt. And you havent been to bed in forty eight hours." He whispered out, still lying on his back. I let the silence wash over me as my hand stilled.

"Blaine?" I say softly.

"Yeah?" He stays put and I notice his eyes are still closed.

"Youre not really mad about what they were saying about Dale and you, are you?" I feel him take in a breath and slowly let it out.

"Im not mad." He starts, staying locked in position. "Its just I forget sometimes that he was your first...you know? Boyfriend. And I just dont like being compared to him when he looks like that. Santana calls him Abercrombie and she doesnt like men! I just hate knowing he was always there for you when I wasnt back then and Im just worried that when we are compared, Ill always fall short. Hes pretty perfect." He still hasnt opened his eyes to look at me and I can feel him fiddling with his fingers under the comforter.

"Honey, open your eyes." He does as I ask, but doesnt look around. "Look at me. And listen real hard, okay?" He just nods mutely beside me. "You will never, ever, ever come in second place in my life to Dale, okay? Sure he was my first boyfriend and we were doing... stuff, but that was a long time ago. So were your struggles and I dont care about the things that happened back then. But you need to remember I broke up with him because I was in love with you. Like I am still in love with you. I love Dale and hes like family, but you? Youre my everything, okay? And who cares if hes bigger? Because you are perfect for me. Okay?" I watch him for a couple of seconds before he looks up at me wide eyed.

"So he is bigger than me?" Seriously?!? This is the conversation Im having right now.

"Blaine I didnt say -"

"You said so what if hes bigger than me! Meaning he is!" Blaine looked firmly at me even if his voice resembled a toddlers.

"I cant remember! I havent seen it properly since I was eighteen...Will you PLEASE let it go?" I moan resigning myself to just agree to get him to stop talking.

"What if one of my exes were in front of you and I said, hey Kurt hes bigger?"

"I wouldnt care! Im confident enough in myself to know Im adequate.... And that I know how to make your toes curl as you cum!" I sigh shuffling down firther into the covers to try and stop this nonsensical conversation from going any further. Blaine lets off a sigh beside me.

"You are more than adequate you know....and....Ive never felt as connected to anybody in that way like I do to you...."Blaine mumbles as he shifts down beside me so our arms are touching.

"And thats how I feel about you too ...you fucking idiot!"

"Im sorry..." he says softly, pulling my hand over to knot our fingers together.

"Now, will you turn around and let me spoon you? Because Im exhausted and I cant sleep without you." I place a soft kiss to his lips before he turns around and pulls my arms tight around his chest.

"Youre perfect for me too Kurt. I love you." He sighs happily.

"Love you too." I smile into his warm back, pressing a few gentle kisses to it. Then we hear a crash come through the apartment, followed by two people giggling and shushing each other as they stumble to Santanas room. Once the door shuts we hear a very familiar voice whispering expletives.

"Is that Maya?" Blaine asks in confusion, or maybe shock.

"Oh. Yeah... Cooper owes me fifty bucks. Baby shower slutty sex." I mumble, my eyes struggling to stay open.

"Thats a real thing?" He asks, sounding amused.

"Well, from whats about to go down through there. Id say yes!" I yawn and then my eyes drift shut.