Life begins at thirty, or thats what they tell you. No one ever mentions the full time job, the paying bills, the fact that people always ask where your partner is or tell you with a sympathetic look that youll find the one soon. No one ever dares breathe a word about the slight paunch youll develop, where your abs used to be, no matter how hard you stick to thirty crunches a day. More specifically, nobody ever told Kurt Hummel that thirty is where any hope of living out your child hood fantasies die out. No more would he occupy his time with pipe dreams of New York City and a career in Broadway. Or the nauseating thought of finding that one special someone to be with forever, despite all your baggage, nope he wasnt a fool. If things hadnt happened by thirty it was time to get new dreams, time to learn to survive. It was time he woke up and smelt the stale coffee of Lima, Ohio.

"Hey old man! Wake up so I know you didnt die from old age in your sleep…" As a soft, lilting voice creeps into his subconscious his eyes remain closed, mentally examining what felt different this morning to yesterday. There was a throbbing in his right knee that definitely hadnt been there yesterday, he was sure of it.

"Hmm timesit?" He groans, stretching out his arms wide, scrunching his eyes up tight. If he can hold off he wont need to acknowledge the importance of the day.

"Its ten past seven…. we need to get ready so we can head out." Crap. He was going to be late for work. Again. Someone must have switched off his alarm. A young, sprightly someone who finds it highly amusing to watch him dash around like hes in some sort of athletic event before a full day at work. He springs up into a sitting position on the bed, eyes opening wide. "Oh look at that! You dont need a mobility scooter yet…and people say thirty is old!"

"Violet, why didnt you get me up before now?" Kurt glares into the icy blue gaze watching him. "You know Franc will have a fit if Im not in by half eight!"

"Relax! Its really only six…..now if you get your saggy old man ass into gear… Im making breakfast!" Violet sings as she backs out of the doorway, black wavy hair fluttering around her shoulders, doing a few wiggles before she disappears out of sight.

"My ass isnt saggy!" Kurt yells in defence after her before quickly jumping up to check it hasnt dived south overnight in the mirror. He manages to turn and look in the mirror without making any part of his body twinge, satisfied that his ass is as perky as ever, although really? Like one night would make that much of a difference. Hell have to make a mental note to keep checking.

It takes him forty minutes of buffing, polishing and pouting in his tiny bathroom. A basic en-suite off of his own bedroom, before he deems himself worthy to go downstairs and join Violet in the kitchen. It wasnt the biggest house in the world, but as he was living on a minimum wage budget he had managed to be thrifty, picking up bargains on eBay, in second hand thrift stores and borrowing from friends to create a stylish, yet homely setting for them. Something he could call his own. Sure, it wasnt the tiny loft in Soho or the penthouse in Park Avenue he had always pictured in younger years, but it was home and more importantly just a fifteen minute ride from his dads house, meaning he could pester him constantly about his cholesterol intake.

When Kurt finally stumbled into the kitchen, there were piles of dishes and plates littering the work top, grease and grime welded onto them, but then he saw Vi sitting proudly at the table surrounded by burnt scrambled eggs, the wonkiest cut melon he had ever seen and he couldnt really complain.

"Vi this looks awesome!" Kurt beamed, pulling out a chair to sit opposite her.

"Yeah, well, someone has to make a big deal about your birthday. Thirty is the end of the road you know…" She offers, scrunching her button nose up in thought. "Although if you think about it? Youve been boring for years, maybe your life will be the exception?"

"Okay, thanks for your kind words…" Kurt waves it off while reaching for the most edible looking pieces of bacon and putting them onto his plate. "And the food, you shouldnt have."

"Youre welcome….." She giggles, earning herself an eye roll from Kurt. "Shit…um shoot! I have to get going. Things to do, people to see!" She jumps up and thrusts her dirty dish on top of the pile already in the sink.

"I just sat down! What time will you be home?" Kurt protests but Violet simply shrugs, dumping an envelope in front of him and wrapping her arms around his shoulders from behind.

"Well dont take so long to get ready in future!" She whispered in to his ear. "Happy birthday old man, I love you!" placing a soft kiss to his cheek she was already running towards the front door.

"I love you….too," Kurt sighs, hearing the door slam before he even got to finish his sentence. With only a little while left before he had to leave the house he decided to ignore the dirty dishes. One day of mess wouldnt hurt in the long run, right? Besides he was much more intrigued by the envelope on his plate. Pulling it open, he ignores the slur about balding middle aged men on the front, instead his attention is drawn to a small business card that drops out onto to the table. "No she didnt!" He squeaks to himself, staring at the offending Times New Roman bold font, jumping out and practically screaming youre past it! He doesnt know how long he sits there for, but at some point his ringtone filters into his subconscious and instead of reading the name, he knows who it will be anyway, he picks it up and lets out a strangled moan of "I hate her!"

"Happy birthday kid!" Burts happy voice comes over the phone and Kurt can practically feel the grin hes wearing.

"Thanks dad!" Kurt sighs, still holding the card in his other hand.

"Do I want to ask about how you answered the phone?"

"You can ask, but Im pretty sure we both know who I was referring to."

"You dont hate her…" Burt says, with all the wisdom of the world in his tone, just like dads learn to do at some point in their lives. Does that happen at thirty? Kurt makes yet another mental note to keep a check on it.

"Youre right, I suppose, I just dont particularly love her right this minute then…" Kurt rethinks his statement, before starting again. "Okay, so its not that I dont love her, lets just say I dont appreciate her birthday gift."

"What did she do this time?" Burt grins. Kurt doesnt need to see his face to know he finds this hilarious.

"She got me a consultation with a plastic surgeon!" All Kurt can hear is a guffaw from through the line so continues, knowing Burt wont be in any state to comment yet. "And its not even a good one! Its one of those practically free consultations! Meaning Id come out with three boobs on my forehead or something. Never mind the fact that I dont need any work done! I mean, sure, there are a few more lines than there used to be but Im not exactly haggard! Am I?"

"Kid do you remember my thirtieth? You made me a toupee from your teddy bears haircuts…It was the colour of a freaking rainbow. If I didnt think you were gay before, that would have been a huge indicator." Burt chuckles, and Kurt has to as well, both of them sharing the memory of Burt strutting around the house in said wig.

"Yeah, well, the difference is I was six dad! You paraded round in that wig for an hour because I was so God damn adorable" Kurt finally controls his giggles, remembering why hes angry. "Your granddaughter is fourteen! She isnt doing it in a cute way…."

"Why is she always my granddaughter when she does something wrong?" Burt asks, flabbergasted.

"Not just yours…shes Caroles too!"

"Fine, will you and MY grandchild be appearing for dinner tonight? Or do you have somewhere more exciting to be?" Kurt decided to take the sardonic tone from that statement, instead of the horrifyingly hopeful one he thought he could hear. Because Burt should know better than to think Kurt would have a hot date for his birthday, which would mean a dating life of some sorts. Which there wasnt.

"Oh you know being a thirty year old, single dad, that works forty plus hours a week leaves me with such an amazing social life, I just dont think I can fit you into my schedule…"

"Ha! Dinner will be on the table at seven thirty." Burt states, matter of factly.

"Ill be there at seven." Kurt smiled, before glancing at the clock and realising that this time he was really running late. "Listen dad I gotta go, just tell Carole not to do anything silly, okay?"

"So no banners or balloons or presents or cheesecake?"

"White chocolate and lime?"

"Like she would get any other kind on your birthday!"

"Then I expect the biggest cheesecake this side of the Lima Bean." Kurts up and on the move, breezing through the house to find his shoes and coat, throwing on his duffel bag and grabbing his keys to run out the door. "Okay dad, Ive really gotta go. See you tonight."

"Okay kid, I love ya!" And then hes gone, meaning Kurt can throw his phone into his pocket and open his car as quickly as possible. Franc is getting no reason to bitch at him today.