No Envy, No Fear
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April 24, 2012, 10:32 a.m.


No Envy, No Fear: Chapter 10


E - Words: 3,994 - Last Updated: Apr 24, 2012
Story: Complete - Chapters: 16/16 - Created: Mar 15, 2012 - Updated: Apr 24, 2012
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"What's she like?" Blaine asked suddenly while they were waiting by the door.

It was Friday afternoon, and with Blaine's hand in his and school finished for the week, Kurt was feeling strangely confident. So much was still unknown, so much still had to be fixed, but every time he remembered Jo's voice down the phone line (I'll be there tomorrow) he couldn't let go of the feeling that everything was going to be okay.

"She's … unique," Kurt offered quietly, squeezing Blaine's hand. "I haven't seen her in awhile, last time we talked was… when I came out, actually. She helped. I went from a little kid who was scared to say anything at all about being gay, hiding behind fake crushes, to… well, me."

Blaine smiled softly at him, eyes sweet and adoring in the fluorescent light.

"Don't worry," Kurt told him as they made their way in, feeling light and relaxed like he hadn't all week. "I have a good feeling about this."

Even Cooper's room seemed brighter.

His face lit up when he saw them, lifting into an effortless smile. The curtains had been pulled back to let in the afternoon sun, and it warmed the room with a hazy glow.

"Hey," he said brightly, hitting mute on his remote and dropping it onto the side table.

Blaine grinned in response, letting go of Kurt's hand to tuck himself into the bedside chair.

Cooper's fingers lifted quickly, brushing at Blaine's hairline. "What's with the gel? I thought you'd stopped using it."

With a shrug, Blaine twitched under his brother's hand, like a child whose mother was trying to spit-clean his face. "It keeps it under control."

"Keeps you invisible, you mean," Cooper said flatly. "You know, you don't have to hide anymore. You're safe with that bracelet on."

"I know." Blaine bobbed his head in a slow nod.

When Cooper's fingers poked at his hairline again, he swatted them away. "Stop it!"

Kurt watched them both with a gentle smile as the bickering exchange carried on to playful jests and taunting. He folded his arms and leaned against the wall, grateful and slightly envious of their ease. He'd never felt that way about Finn, never felt like he had someone who would always understand, someone he could trust in.

No matter what happened to either of them because of the other, nothing would change.

"Well, if this isn't the most ass-backwards buttfuck middle-of-nowhere shitkicker of a hospital-"

Kurt stiffened at the sound of her voice, turning against the wall with an amused glint in his eye as his aunt made her usual colourful entrance.

Both of the Andersons stopped dead in their exchange, blinking at her with wide and surprised eyes.

"Well!" she said with an exaggerated huff once she'd dropped her bags by the wall. "Whaddaya know. I made it."

"Jo," Kurt said with a laugh, closing the gap between them when she opened her arms towards him.

She rubbed his back for a moment, pursing her lips and making a tiny cooing noise before she let him go. "Christ, Lizzy, when'd you get so fucking tall?"

Kurt ducked his head. "Kurt. Jo, it's Kurt."

"Kurt my ass, I'll call you what I want and you'll love it," she insisted, and glanced over to the bed.

With a sharp, melodramatic slap of her palm to her forehead, she gaped at them. "Jesus Christ, what is it, an Abercrombie catalogue in here?!"

"Jo-"

"No but they're pretty, right? I'm not imagining that, that is one beautiful fucking family. Hi!" She moved just as quickly as she spoke, reaching out a hand and gliding to the bedside. "I'm Josephine. Never call me that or you'll lose an arm. It's Jo, mostly. You must be Cooper?"

Cooper's brow dropped in alarm, his wide eyes flicking over to Kurt.

Kurt gave him a tiny nod of encouragement, and he glanced back to the newcomer. "P- pleased to meet you?" he offered, shaking her hand.

"Likewise. DAMN, you are… too pretty. Bruises and all. That's unfair. And you must be Blaine?" She turned without a pause, sliding an arm over Blaine's shoulders comfortingly. "Sweetie, it's nice to - wow. Fuck. Look at you." She shook her head, throwing an appreciative glance back over to Kurt. "Damn Lizzy."

"Jo." Kurt warned her, but couldn't keep the grin from his lips or the blush from his cheeks.

"Sorry, sorry!" She waved both hands in the air in apology, wincing. "I have no filter, you'll get used to it."

"Wh-… I mean, it's nice to meet you, but… why are you … here?" Cooper ventured, eyeing Kurt again.

"This is my aunt Jo," Kurt interjected before she could start another round of enthusiastic cussing. "She used to work for Missive. She's here to… help."

Cooper straightened in alarm, eyes darting to the full star on Jo's neck. "Missive? I'm not-"

"Shh, it's okay," she said soothingly, reaching out and stroking the back of Cooper's hand. "I'm not taking you away, nothing like that."

Kurt knew enough from schoolyard discussion to know how the Sub care program, Missive, was viewed by most. Generally regarded on the same level as rehab, they took in unclaimed and abused Subs who needed help adjusting to independent life - but even the best of seemingly-selfless intentions could lead down corrupt paths.

Missive was no exception.

"Jo doesn't work there anymore," Kurt offered.

"I got booted," she said casually. "One of my boys presented, I turned him down. He cried abuse, said I forced him. There's not a lot you can do to defend yourself from some accusations, no matter how untrue."

Blaine narrowed his eyes at her. "You don't seem too upset…"

She shrugged. "I miss it. I miss taking care of my Subs, but I'm not sad I'm out of the program. Some centres are good, happy and healthy places where Missive's work is being done the way it's meant to. Others… aren't."

"Yours wasn't?" Blaine asked.

She shook her head sadly. "Nope. But I'm out now."

Cooper hadn't spoken since his recoil at the name-drop, now content to sit back and watch her carefully as she spoke and moved around. There was something quiet behind his eyes, something Kurt could see but couldn't quite feel yet. Reservation? Curiosity?

Please let this work.

"You're here for me," Cooper said softly.

Jo locked eyes with him. After a stretch of silence, the longest there had been since she arrived, she reached out and stroked his hand again. "Yes."

"Look, I…" He glanced over her shoulder to where Kurt was standing. "I appreciate your intentions, I do," his gaze fell back on Jo, "and you're … lovely. But I'm not… looking for…"

"I am lovely," she confessed with a haughty air. "I am pretty, and witty, and very," she closed her eyes and bobbed her head to emphasise her point, "very gay."

Blaine let out a tiny squeak of laughter that he couldn't keep in, pressing his lips together and ducking his head embarrassedly afterwards.

Cooper's mouth twitched into a tiny smile, and he eyed her carefully again. "So you're just… willing to take on a Sub. That you've no attraction to. Just for fun?"

"What better reason is there?" she asked, mock-offended. "No claim. Just living arrangements, for awhile. You need somebody. I need somebody. We might hate each other's guts, but come - what is it, Sunday that they're letting you go?"

He nodded.

"Come Sunday, if you want to see the back end of me badly enough - and not like that," she waved a hand, laughing, "I'll go."

Considering, Cooper looked her up and down, eyes shifting over to the myriad of bags she'd left stacked by the wall. Suitcases and shoulder-bags alike were piled high in a mis-matched patchwork of colours, far more than she'd need for just a weekend.

"You overpack," he said simply.

"You don't talk enough," she shot back.

"You talk too much," he answered with a playful glare.

"You just got your ass kicked and they still didn't shift your pretty. Now, that pretty is stuck on good and tight, what am I gonna do with that, huh?"

Cooper rocked back slightly, tilting his head. "So that's your thing? You're gay, and beautiful, and annoying?"

"So you're straight, and broken, and," she tipped her head back and forth, pulling a face, "kind of a bitch?"

He huffed a quiet laugh, eyes falling closed.

Blaine turned in his seat, unsure as to what was happening as he met Kurt's eyes worriedly.

Kurt gave him a reassuring smile. He was certain, now more than ever.

"You two," Jo turned and pointed a finger between them. "We need some time. Go. Be gone."

Blaine blinked at her. "W-what?"

"It's Friday night!" she announced. "You're young. You're gorgeous. Go. GO! Have all the sex, break a few bedsprings. We'll be fine."

Kurt rolled his eyes at her, and Blaine slipped out of his chair, ducking in embarrassment and pressing himself to Kurt's side. "We… uh. It's not…"

"Oh, please," she cocked an eyebrow at them, "you're what? A few weeks in? A month? The amount of sex you two must be having, I'm amazed you're both still walking straight."

Kurt flushed to the roots of his hair as Blaine bowed to bury his face in Kurt's shirt.

Cooper's laughter was the only saving grace; it was the first time Kurt had ever heard him laugh aloud. It was small and sweet, just a rolling chuckle, but it was the most wonderful sound he'd heard in a long time.

"We're going," Kurt said lightly, slipping his arm around Blaine's waist. "Cooper?"

"Go," he agreed with a little nod. "I've got this."

"Oho!" Jo turned back to him. "Cocky, too."

Cooper scowled playfully. "Shut up and sit down."

Jo's eyes flashed in surprise, and she glanced over at Kurt quickly, brow lifting.

He's giving me orders? she was asking. Kurt knew her well enough to read that much.

He realised all at once that even with her years at Missive, she probably hadn't met Subs like the Andersons before.

With a gentle, knowing nod, Kurt smiled at her softly. This is why I called you, his smile said. They're special.

He slipped out the door silently with Blaine still tucked against his side, the sound of the TV springing back to life echoing in their wake as it gave way to the hum of hospital conversation in the hallways.

They walked in silence to the car, and Blaine left his side just as their boots kicked across the gravel of the lot to move to the passenger door. He stopped at the handle, peering over the car with a smile.

"Lizzy?"

Kurt huffed a laugh, leaning against the window. "My middle name is Elizabeth. After… my mom. Jo's sister."

Blaine nodded, grinning. "I like it."

He'd told Blaine about his mother, about what had happened when he was a boy and how it had felt, standing in that cemetery with his father's hand wrapped around his. He'd never told anybody that, not the whole story. But Blaine had listened, had curled against him, head in his lap, pressing kisses to his wrist in apology for everything that was taken away from him. Even if it was never his fault.

"They were named after Little Women," Kurt added lightly, sliding into the driver's seat. "Josephine. Elizabeth, or Beth - my mom. My other aunt is … Meg is different. She doesn't really stay in touch. She never really liked my Dad."

Blaine listened in silence, nodding along and watching Kurt with soft eyes.

"But we have Jo," he started the car, "she always comes when we call. Just drops everything and then she's here, in a heartbeat. We're… we're lucky."

Blaine's brow dipped in sympathy, and he shifted in his seat, head rolling against the headrest. "You miss her."

"Mom?" Kurt asked as they pulled out. "Yeah. Yes. Every day."

He felt Blaine's hand on his thigh, a warm and comforting weight, anchoring him down to the world again before the pull of old grief could drag him away. He smiled, leaning to peer around the next corner and flicking on the turning signal.

"Let's go home," he said softly.

The rest of the night was left to comfortable swaps of silence in between dinner and explaining Jo was back in town to his father (which earned a knowing smile and chuckle, followed quickly by an astonished "You left him alone with her!?").

Once they were up in their room, they'd dissolved into their nightly routine, showering and cleaning up before settling on the bed together, lost in quiet conversation.

"They really seemed to like each other," Blaine mused while he absently played with Kurt's hand, weaving his fingers between Kurt's own. "I mean, I know they were… they argued. But they did. Like each other."

"Mmm," Kurt agreed, twisting curls between his fingertips on his free hand. "I had a feeling."

"You had a feeling," Blaine echoed with a soft smirk.

Kurt shrugged lightly, amusement shining in his eyes.

"If…" Blaine began carefully, eyes dropping to the bedspread. "If he goes. How… far away-?"

"Ann Arbor," Kurt cut him off, grazing his nails over Blaine's scalp and enjoying the tiny, contented sound he received. "It's only a few hours. If he decides to go stay with Jo, then he's not far. We can visit on weekends. And they can always come here."

Blaine smiled, eyes closed and face resting against the duvet. "It's going to be okay."

"It is," Kurt agreed, craning to kiss at the corner of his mouth.

He didn't get the chance to retreat before Blaine pressed against him, sliding their mouths together and bringing his hand up to brush over Kurt's face.

After a moment they rolled back, content to kiss in slow, languid sweeps of lips and tongue for as long as they could, as long as the world was still in one piece, and no longer threatening to crumble around them.

When morning came, Kurt woke to the sound of his dad's car pulling out of the driveway. Gone for the day, the note on the fridge said. Call me if Jo gets arrested.

It was late morning by the time they'd settled again, still in their pyjamas after a phone call insisting they not come to the hospital.

("We're fine, stay home. Relax and enjoy your weekend."

"But-"

"You can come back tomorrow. We're having an orgy, no kids allowed."

"JO!"

"Shush now. The hot nurse is here, I have to go make Coop blush. He gets so annoyed when I make fire engine noises, it's the best part of my day. BYE!")

Kurt had hung up after the call with a huff of laughter, pressing two fingers to the bridge of his nose and whispering a quiet apology to Cooper.

But it was while he was lying with Blaine, relaxed and sprawled on the bedcovers and laughing at Cooper's misfortune, that he finally began to feel the clinging squeeze in his chest fade away. That part of him that had coiled tight with fear from the moment Blaine had answered his phone one night, when they'd finally decided to have each other until the world had been ripped out from under them, was finally letting go.

Everything was going to be okay.

Blaine slipped a warm hand over his belly, brushing under his tank top and thumbing at the soft skin below his navel. Kurt pulled in a ragged breath at the sensation, the intent he could feel behind it, sweet and small and asking so gently for more.

They hadn't let themselves have this, not since Tuesday night. Cooper was in the hospital. The jocks haunted their every step, nothing felt right. But now…

He rolled onto his side, letting Blaine's hand slide further up his shirt, and traced light fingertips over an exposed bicep.

"Are you sure?"

Blaine seemed to vibrate softly, trembling and inching closer. "Tell me?" he asked, voice barely above a whisper.

"Lie back," Kurt commanded, and watched for the beautiful flicker of recognition Blaine's eyes as he complied.

It drove Kurt slowly insane with need, the way Blaine seemed to get warmer and more eager each time he obeyed a command. He could feel it in his skin with every touch, the need to be possessed. To be owned.

"Take off your shirt," Kurt told him, peeling off his own tank top as he did so.

After Blaine had tossed his night shirt over the edge of the bed, he settled down again, waiting, fingers dancing lightly along Kurt's thigh where he knelt beside him.

With slow, careful hands, Kurt undid the tie of his own pyjama pants, pushing them down his hips and off as he shifted his balance. He could feel Blaine pawing at his skin, bracing him as he moved across the bedspread and slid one leg over Blaine's chest to settle his knees on either side.

"Blaine," he said, voice cracking as broad, firm hands swept up both of his exposed thighs, stopping at his waist.

He was naked and straddling his boyfriend's chest, and a part of him wondered where this had come from. The confidence to do just this; to strip himself down and command his Sub (Boyfriend. Lover. Soulmate?) to worship his body.

He didn't have to say it out loud, Blaine had already risen up, arms locking around Kurt's frame as he slid wet lips over the head of his already hardening cock.

Kurt gasped softly, eyes falling closed and hips squeezing tight for a moment as Blaine's mouth moved down the length of him, sucking sweetly and slowly. He let Blaine find a rhythm, a slow bob that moved deeper and deeper until Kurt opened his eyes again to look down, just in time to catch Blaine glancing up at him from under long, black lashes. Blaine's eyes were focused, somehow so bright and seemingly innocent despite the slick red mouth that was gliding over Kurt's cock.

Groaning at the sight, Kurt let his head fall back, let Blaine suck him as slowly as he wanted to, take his time and map every crease and dip with his tongue. His body tingled and ached, trapped between the ecstasy of Blaine's tight lips wrapped around his cock and the incredible peace flooding through his body, the Dom part of him that was in control, with a loving Sub coiled around his body, giving him pleasure.

"Blaine," he breathed, panting at the building electricity in his spine.

His hands dropped to push through Blaine's hair, cradling his head gently as his own hips found a matching motion, shallow at first, and then in longer sweeps, rolling him down to fuck into Blaine's mouth. When Blaine's hands dropped to his ass, squeezing and encouraging him forward as he moaned loudly around his cock, Kurt's arms shot out to brace himself against the headboard.

"O-oh!" Kurt gasped, hips working faster now, pushing him into the tight, hot heat of Blaine's mouth over and over again until he felt the squeeze of Blaine's throat around the head.

He let out a soft whimper as Blaine's strong hands held him in place, throat convulsing around his cock as he swallowed.

Kurt came with a low and broken cry, body shaking and arms barely holding him up while Blaine moaned around him again, licking at every last drop even when Kurt pulled away.

Shaky and unsteady on his knees, Kurt shifted down the bed, trying to keep from falling over.

Blaine dropped back onto the mattress, arms falling on either side of his head as he smiled up at his Dom. His eyes were half-lidded and honey-sweet, and just at the sight, Kurt felt the air get knocked out of him again.

"You're so beautiful," he whispered, scooting both legs down until he was on hands and knees over Blaine's body.

Blaine shivered at the praise, writhing when Kurt dropped to press kisses down his throat and over his chest.

"You're so good for me." He found both of Blaine's wrists, pushing them up over his head and holding them there.

Hips jerking, Blaine whimpered at the sharp flare of arousal that came with being pinned. He was still hard, leaking against his belly where his cock curved over it, and Kurt glanced down between them to see.

Kurt could feel the voice rising up inside, so much like his own but deeper, and saying things he didn't even realise he wanted to until that moment.

"You're gorgeous," he pressed a kiss to Blaine's throat. "So beautiful, baby, do you want to come for me?"

Blaine moaned, arching his body up under Kurt's. "Yes. Please, Kurt."

"Shh," Kurt whispered, control seizing him. "Hold the headboard. Don't let go."

Nodding and panting in shallow breaths, Blaine moved his hands to grip the bottom curve of the wooden board when Kurt's hold lifted.

"I'm not going to suck you or touch you yet," Kurt said, power coursing and thrumming in his spine, all the more dizzying in the wake of his orgasm. He dipped to suck a nipple into his mouth briefly. "But you're going to come for me. When you're ready. When I want you to."

Blaine's only reply was a fractured sound as he thrashed lightly on the mattress, helpless under the torture of Kurt's mouth while it mapped down his chest.

"You're such a good boy," Kurt purred, grazing his teeth over a hipbone and resisting the urge to take Blaine into his mouth. He was right there, flushed and straining, leaking precome onto his stomach, and Kurt wanted to taste it more than anything in his life. But Blaine's needs were more important.

He'd read enough to know how much more intense it could feel, if done a certain way, if he used his commands. And he needed to know Blaine's strength and his limits; he needed to push them.

He dipped to lick at the inside of Blaine's thigh, holding back a moan as Blaine's legs spread for him immediately.

"Ungh!" The sound punched out of Blaine above him, broken and begging.

"Shh," Kurt said again, mouthing along the warm line under his belly and licking a stripe over the soft skin.

Blaine jolted, whining loudly.

"Tell me, now," Kurt instructed gently, sliding his hands over Blaine's thighs and settling his cheek against a hipbone. "Tell me what you need, baby."

"I nee-" Blaine's voice cut off with a choked sound as his hips shifted, clenching and unclenching. "I need to come, Kurt, please let me."

"You will," Kurt told him. "Just ask me."

"Kurt, please, can I-"

"Tell me what you want me to do."

This is how we make you stronger.

"S-" Blaine arched again, trying to get the words out. "Suck me, please, oh god."

It was enough, and Kurt smiled to himself, pinning Blaine's hips to the bed with both hands and sliding his mouth over the head of his cock. He swept his tongue down the slit for a moment, soaking in the rush and the taste of Blaine (mine) before he sucked hard, rolling his mouth and hollowing his cheeks.

Blaine moaned loudly, his voice gravelling as he arched off the bed. Kurt felt the hot burst paint the inside of his mouth, and again, as Blaine thrashed and finally collapsed back down.

He let Blaine's cock slip from his mouth wetly, and licked his lips before dropping to press another slow line of kisses up the softening shaft, feeling sparks up his spine like fireworks at every overstimulated jerk of the body beneath him.

Carefully, he shifted back up to balance on his hands and knees, crawling up the bed and settling over Blaine's chest. The groan he earned in response to his weight was just as incredible as it had been the first time.

Kurt drew up both arms, resting his elbows either side of Blaine's head and curving his hands down to sweep through his hair.

"Mmm," he hummed contentedly, bathing in the radiating waves of bliss he could feel flowing from Blaine's body. "How do you feel?"

"G- good," Blaine managed to mutter, blinking dazedly at him. "Oh god, so good."

Kurt craned down to capture his mouth for a moment, dragging their tongues together so they could taste each other. He felt Blaine whimper against his lips, and let go.

"You're amazing," he said softly, returning his attention to Blaine's hair.

"I'm… I'm..." Blaine seemed to lose his train of thought, head rolling to the side under Kurt's fingers. "I'm yours."

"You are," he said with a chuckle, and dropped down to rest his face in the crook of Blaine's neck.

"You always will be."


Comments

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Oh, wow.Neaf...I love her. Jo, I mean.And I LOVE the Little Women reference. ;)You are an incredible writer. I find myself obsessively refreshing your blog when there's rumor of an update.Yeah, I have no life. ;) Either that, or you're just that good.~Thali

I had to comment because Jo! Oh my god she is my favourite character ever! Can we have Jo+Coop side stories of their awesome adventures together because that would epic!!

Another incredible update. Fucking fantastic.

Brilliant!

Hot, hot, HOT. That last bit of smut. GUH. All the awards.

oh my GOD I love Jo so much and the sex is 10000x hotter with the D/s and the tenderness

I love the banter between Jo and everybody! Brilliant character! Great chapter.

:pinkiehappy:wait wrong website.. Um Endive is happy :D

I love this! Didn't expect Jo to be gay, but what the hey, it works!!!! And my Boys!!! Hurray for smut!!!! ;-D!!! "Tell me what you want me to do." that line sent shivers down my mother flipping spine!!!! Damn. "The weight of a Dom...." You are just all kinds of awesome....

I'm in love with Jo. I can't wait to see the four of them interacting again.

holymotherofgod

Jo. Oh my god. I might just be in love with her. I love how she calls Kurt 'Lizzy'. Brilliant! I love this story buckets! :D

Wonderful, wonderful chapter. Loved this. Jo is absolutely fantastic.

GORGEOUS!! I adore Jo! And, well, you're so talented that reading something written by you is always a pleasure!

Love the banter between Jo and Cooper! What a fantastically vivid new character!

Jo is fantastic. I can picture Anne as her too.

Oh my god...Jo is perfect and Jo and Coopers fighting love hate friendship is perfect and you are perfect for writing it okay!!

I LOVE Jo!

This makes me happy! Loving Jo btw :D

Oh. My. God. So good. So, so good. Update soon! Please!

oh I love Jo! and whoa, you used Little Women, and it suits so well, because of Kurt's mom.

Loved this chapter! and my mom and her sisters were named for little women as well! my aunt is Laurie Jo, my other aunt is Amy Margaret, and my mom's middle name is Beth!

I really, really loved this chapter <3

Phew! HOT!!! Really enjoying this fanfic. Thank you!

So good, so perfect. I'm so in love with this story, I can like FEEL it when I read. jfc.

I have an extreme aversion to d/s themes and the like... But it was you, so I had to read. AND IT IS UNBELIEVABLE. I am baffled at this amazingness. Please, do continue being awesome as hell.

OH. Jo is my new favorite OC. And the Little Women reference KILLED ME. Wow, the sex is so fantastically hot. I really can't believe how much you are in my brain for this story. *happy sigh*

Great chapter. I love jo she is awesome

THIS IS SO SWEET, AND AMAZING