"You deserve to be happy."

109 Days Until Kurt's Wedding

"Just there!" Kurt exclaimed, stretching his arms in front of him.

Blaine smiled and tried to image what Kurt was imagining just past his fingertips. Kurt had dragged Blaine along to the Brooklyn Botanic Garden, a very popular location for weddings. The two were standing in an empty lot with a huge, bare tree plopped in the middle.

"Now, picture it without the snow, with the warm summer sun shining overhead. Flower petals are floating through the air; some are resting on the ground – just pink, against the white. There are around a hundred white chairs in rows coming towards us and a trail of white lilies leading to the altar. Can you see it?"

Blaine melted the snow in his mind, cast the dark, puffy clouds away, filling the sky with sun, the tree filled with pink leaves, and his mind watches the flowers blow in the wind. The chairs manifested and prickles of green grass poked from the ground. Suddenly, in his mind, he saw Kurt in the suit he was wearing at Lord & Taylor, walking over white lilies down the aisle. Blaine shook the vision away.

"It's the perfect wedding," Blaine said half-heartedly.

Kurt kicked at the snow on the ground, lowering his eyes. "It's so close."

"Are these nerves?"

"No," Kurt breathed. "These are I-can't-believe-I'm-allowed-to-get-married-yet-I'm-second-guessing-everything."

Blaine gave him a sympathetic smile. "That's also known as nerves. If this wasn't an easy decision, we wouldn't have all those vows. I could marry people just by saying 'Okay, I approve!' and what significant would that have? So many people on Grey's Anatomy would be wed without any consent." He took Kurt's hand. "It's going to be hard because this is hard."

"Why? I love Alek. That should be enough. How do I know for sure that we'll make it?"

"Where do you see yourself in five years?" Blaine asked. "Realistically."

Kurt thought for a second. "Working under the big fashion heads. I'm not an intern, but I've still only got my foot in the door."

"In ten years?"

Kurt bit his lip. "I see myself inching my way up, my own fashion line in the works."

"In twenty years."

"I'm successful. My line's doing so great."

"And where's Alek?"

Kurt crossed his arms. "He's there," he mutters. "At five years, he's working as a dentist. In ten, he's starting his own office."

"What about your life together. What's happening in twenty years?"

Kurt starts to absentmindedly walk, skimming his foot over the snow before he places his boot down. He looked up at Blaine.

"We're living in the middle of New York. I'm handing out his cards at my events. When I fall asleep at my studio, he wakes me up in the morning before he going to the office. When he comes home, I'm cooking us a new recipe someone at work talked about in passing. We're happy."

"Good," Blaine sighed.

"Why'd you have me do that?"

"Because if you can't see a future now, who's to say you'll have one then?"

Kurt reached down and took a small handful of snow then tossed it at Blaine. It just sprinkled through the air. Blaine grinned as some of it tickled his face.

"This is why you got an A in Psychology, and I got a B+," Kurt joked.

"Come on. Let's go."

They walked up the snowy pathway. It was gorgeous here, Blaine decided, even in the winter. Everything was white. All the trees were covered in a thin layer of snow which made them look like they were sprouting white flowers from their branches. Blaine and Kurt walked passed the lake. The cold was freezing over the water – half rippled, half stayed idle and white.

As they tried to walk across the bridge, ice made their feet slide. Kurt grabbed a hold of Blaine, and Blaine grabbed a hold of the wall.

"It's a beautiful view from here. Can we stop?" Blaine questioned, pulling Kurt towards him. He didn't have to move to move.

"Sure, maybe the ice will melt by the time we walk again," Kurt said, skating to Blaine's side. "It's hard to picture a summer wedding in the winter. It's all imagination, and I know I'm going to be disappointed because my imagination is extravagant."

"From experience, all the little details don't matter the day of. All I was concerned about was Eddie showing up."

Blaine's gaze dropped to the water directly below. Kurt reached out and held his hand. Looking at the reflection, Kurt tried to make eye contact.

"What future did you see with Eddie?" Kurt mumbled, squeezing Blaine's hand.

Blaine didn't hesitate. "I didn't."

"You didn't see anything?"

"I loved him. I thought that was enough, that we'd figure it out together," Blaine said. He squeezed Kurt's hand. "I didn't see him leaving though. I didn't see this."

Kurt breathed really slow, watching the infrequent snowflake drift passed his eyes before casting them down.

"You're going to make someone so happy one day, Blaine."

Blaine met Kurt's eyes through the reflection of the water. The shattered pieces of his heart rose then crashed back down.

"You deserve to be happy," Kurt said.

And Blaine wanted to be, he really did, but he couldn't bring himself to be. What Blaine wanted most was for Kurt to be happy. He never meant to turn this around, to make this visit about himself. He wanted Kurt to forget his worries, not relive Blaine's awful wedding experience, which made his worries worse.

Blaine tightened his grip on Kurt's hand and pulled them both away from the wall. Moving his feet as if he had skates on, Blaine glided across the bridge.

"These are expensive pants," Kurt whined, "if they rip…"

The weather seemed to drop as the two ventured home. The snow even stopped falling – it was too cold for even the snow. Kurt's apartment was like the Caribbean the two realized as they walked inside.

Alek was lying on the couch, a textbook on his chest and a highlighter on the ground next to his open hand.

Kurt made an exasperated noise. "His highlighter is open! He's lucky it didn't stain the rug, or I'd be drawing on his face right now."

Blaine was digging through the cabinets. "Do you have anything for pain?"

"I shouldn't be offering you any," Kurt stated, reaching for the top shelf, "because it's your own fault you fell – skating around like a twelve year old."

"I'm twelve to your sixty, grandpa."

"Respect your superiors or you're not getting any dinner."

Blaine playfully rolled his eyes as he downed two Tylenol. Kurt made his way to Alek again. He capped the highlighter and tossed it onto his sleeping fianc�. It bounced off the textbook and hit Alek in the face. He jumped up with a yelp.

"Calm down," Kurt said, tapping Alek's legs.

"How long was I out?" Alek asked, rubbing his eyes.

"I don't know. You weren't even here when Blaine and I left."

Alek forced his eyes open. "You were with Blaine all day?"

"Still with Blaine," Kurt said, gesturing to Blaine who appeared at his side. He waved briefly. Alek smiled briefly.

"Where'd you guys go? I was studying with Dex and decided I'd better come home before it started storming. But that was a bit ago."

"Brooklyn Botanic Garden," Kurt retorted.

"Why?" Alek asked.

Blaine was confused as to why Kurt never told Alek about this place. "Kurt was showing me where the wedding's going to be."

Alek's brow furrowed then he pursed his lips together as if his thought was having a long journey from his brain to his mouth.

"Oh," he eventually said. "Kurt, could I talk to you?"

"You are talking to me."

"Alone?" Alek said quietly, eyeing only Kurt.

Blaine saw the confusion in Kurt's eyes before it washed away as he turned to him.

"Could you take the chicken out of the freezer to defrost and start boiling a pot of water?" Kurt asked nicely. Blaine nodded, walking away.

Kurt pulled Alek up, tossing his fianc�'s book down on the couch. He pulled him into their bedroom.

"Blaine knows we're talking about him. Could you have made it any more obvious?" Kurt said in a harsh whisper as soon as the door snapped shut.

"Why'd you take him there?" Alek asked.

"To show him-"

"No, why him? Why not me? Why does he get to see our wedding location before I do?"

"You're overreacting," Kurt said frustrated, shaking his head.

"Am I?"

"You are. I was just showing him the ugly plot of land I want to marry you in!" Kurt said, his voice rising. "Did you ever think I wanted to wait to show you when it looked decent? Did you ever think I'd possibly pick somewhere else? Blaine's around to help me make my decisions. I show you the finished product."

"That's not how this works! You don't choose everything, and I'm just there for the final reaction."

Kurt ran his hands through his stiff hair. "You're not interested in these things. If I took you there, you'd have been bored out of your mind. Blaine understands that I go there to envision what'll be. All you'd see is a snow-filled field."

"I just want to be included," Alek muttered.

"Fine, I'll take you there tomorrow."

Kurt spun towards the door.

Blaine was in the kitchen, filling a deep pot with water. He was straining his ears to hear what Alek and Kurt were saying. He didn't condone eavesdropping, but he heard his name. The door clicked open, only to be snapped shut. There was murmuring, but Blaine couldn't make out what they were saying. He set the pot on the stovetop, and let it start to boil.

Tiptoeing across the living room, he stood close enough to the door to hear them talking.

"And again, you are overreaching," Kurt grunted.

"Stop saying that. If this was me, you'd understand," Alek retorted.

"This is you! You're always with Dex who happens to be your best friend and your old college roommate. You're always studying or meeting up for lunch. Doesn't that sound familiar? Here's the exception: I don't accuse you of cheating with him!"

Blaine's mouth fell open. In his head, he saw Kurt's reaction: eyes narrowing, face flushing, expression wild with anger. Kurt was like a bomb when you set him off.

"You're always with him, and…"

"Alek, you make no sense. I'm not going to keep trying to convince you that your crazy notions aren't true. I'm tired of trying to have you believe me that Blaine is just my best friend."

"You don't hold your best friend's hand. You don't dance with your best friend like I've seen. You don't sleep with, cuddle with, or look at your best friend the way you do!"

Blaine almost dropped to the floor. He'd only thought for brief moments that their behavior bordered the line of friendship; it never really occurred to him enough to worry because he never thought they'd pass that line. He'd never heard it out loud either. That's how they acted; they always have. It was never wrong, not to them. Hearing Alek's perspective, it tore him apart. Blaine saw Alek's reactions to things. He wouldn't ever let the idea of Alek being uneasy with them settle with him. Alek was supposed to understand that this was his and Kurt's friendship. Not only did he not understand, he hated it.

"That's how we are, Alek," Kurt spoke.

"If so, then I'm going to keep having these thoughts of you leaving to be with him."

"If I told you a million times, he's not the one I choose, you still wouldn't believe me!"

There wasn't anything exchanged. Blaine pressed his ear closer to the door, and if he hadn't, he wouldn't have heard what Alek whispered.

"Because you haven't chosen."

Kurt was probably shooting him daggers right now. "Fine."

As soon as Blaine heard Kurt's footsteps, he bolted away from the door. Kurt pulled it open. He froze seeing Blaine standing in the middle of the room. Blaine was twisting his coat in his hands, looking at the ground.

"I'm sorry," Blaine mumbled.

Without a second glance, he left.

Alek, the one man who's so in love with Kurt, believes his heart's still open, that he's not 100% in love with him. For some reason, this made Blaine unsettled. Actually, Blaine suddenly knew the reason.

He loved Kurt.

He was in love with Kurt and didn't realize it until this second.

All else failed. He couldn't move. He couldn't breath. He just fell and curled up against the wall.

He didn't want to love Kurt. And this fact hit him hard.