I Do, I Think
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I Do, I Think: Kurt missed feeling this way.


T - Words: 2,708 - Last Updated: Oct 05, 2011
Story: Complete - Chapters: 20/20 - Created: Sep 05, 2011 - Updated: Oct 05, 2011
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Author's Notes:
I could kid myself in thinking that I'm fine.It was always you falling for me.Now there's always time calling for me.I'm the light blinking at the end of the road.Blink back to let me know.-Panic! At The Discoxo
Chapter Two

Kurt missed feeling this way.

0 Days Until Blaine's Wedding -169 Days Until Kurt's Wedding

Kurt took Blaine home at around nine o'clock that night. The reception was horrific. Kurt and Blaine manage to skip the cocktail hour, but when Alek called to tell Kurt that both families insisted on having the dinner because it was paid for, Kurt and Blaine had no other choice.

Every guest had said he/she was sorry at least three different times – after the second, the apologizes didn't feel genuine anymore. Blaine wasn't himself. Kurt stayed glued to his side the whole evening, cutting conversations short, saving Blaine from big, meaty relative's hugs, and sitting with him in the corner as everyone unsympathetically danced. What made everything worse was the fact that the DJ wasn't properly informed that the wedding didn't happen.

His careless mistakes happened multiple times. The first was when Kurt and Blaine first walked into the hall.

"Now introducing newlyweds Blaine Anderson and Edward Cruz!" and the Rocky Theme blared over the speakers.

Blaine and Kurt stood frozen in the entrance as the entire room dropped everything and glanced in their direction. Kurt's step-brother Finn, thankfully, ran to the DJ to end the song.

The second time this happened was when Eddie and Blaine's wedding song started playing.

"Now, for the couple's first dance!" the moron called over the microphone.

Blaine looked horrified. Almost knocking his seat over, he ran out of the hall. Kurt was right on his tail.

"Blaine! Blaine!" he called.

Blaine let Kurt reach him before letting himself sob into his friend's suit.

"I've never been so humiliated!" his friend cried. Kurt tugged him down to the ground. "You'd think the damn DJ would realize the groom wouldn't be moping about his reception if he was happily married. And this stupid song!"

Kurt's ears perked up to hear that the chorus to "All This Time" by One Republic as it played.

"Yeah, stupid song," Kurt cooed.

The third time was when Blaine's family started cutting the cake to hand out. When the DJ attempted to say Eddie's name, Kurt resorted to chucking his piece across the room, hitting the DJ square in the face. Blaine smiled for the first time all night.

As soon as the boys turned on Blaine's apartment lights, they realized the immediate difference.

"He's gone," Blaine said hollow, looking around, trying to find at least one of Eddie's things.

Kurt took his friend's hand.

"You aren't going to be alone tonight, okay? I'll stay."

Blaine nodded, slapping away tears.


How Kurt and Blaine Became Friends

August– Freshman Year

The plane ride to New York from Lima wasn't bad. Fitting his whole life, namely all of his clothes, into a few suitcases (and he splurged for more than one, sadly enough) gave Kurt the most trouble. Saying goodbye to his family was hard, but getting from the airport to NYU by himself was the hardest. He was almost forced to pile his suitcases up, stand on them, and flail around to get the attention of any taxi driver (even then people would have stolen them from him).

The taxi took him straight to his dorm building – Hayden Hall, a huge brick building right on Washington Square West. After signing in and getting his room key, he trudged to his first floor dorm. It took him a while to find. He kept getting lost, winding up in the wrong corridor. Finally, he was at his room. Swiping his key, he pushed through the door.

Something fell.

"Ow. Ow!" came a voice.

Kurt pushed the door until it wouldn't budge anymore. Peeking his head in, he saw a boy lying on the floor. A chair was what prevented the door from opening. The small boy rose to his feet, moving the chair.

"Sorry. I was hanging lights," he said, pulling the door open.

"I knocked you down and almost cracked your skull. You don't have to be sorry," Kurt returned, dragging his stuff into the room.

Looking around, it looked like the boy had settled in. Everything was neat and tidy and either a deep blue or a deep red.

"Whoa, holy suitcases!" he exclaim, helping Kurt pull a few in.

"I know. I live a state or two away. It's mostly clothes and shoes."

The boys staked Kurt's things on his empty bed.

"Same. I only had three though. I'm probably going to have to go shopping later to buy some more stuff," he said, sitting at his desk.

"Fantastic! I can go with you, and we can get stuff for the room. It's looking a little drab," Kurt said. A small flag of his roommate's alma mater at the boy's desk caught his attention. "Dalton Academy? You're from Ohio?"

The boy laughed. "Westerville, yeah. Why? Where are you from?"

"Lima, Ohio – that's like a two hour distance. What are the odds?" Kurt laughed. "I remember in my junior year, the New Directions tied with the Warblers for Sectional, and we creamed them at Regionals."

"Right, you guys did original songs! I remember."

"Oh, were you a Warbler?"

The boy smiled to himself. "Yeah, I had most of the solos my junior year. You probably don't remember."

Kurt racked his brain. "Oh my God, yeah, yeah, your hair looked like a helmet back then. Less gel, more curl definitely looks better on you. I'm Kurt by the way."

"Blaine. I could help you unpack, if you want."

"Yes, I want! Then we can go shopping and explore the city," Kurt said, giddy.

Blaine pressed play on his iPod. A song from the musical Spring Awakening filled the room.

"Sorry, there is a lot of Broadway on my iPod. I hope you don't mind. I have a minor in Performance Studies."

Kurt grinned. "I don't mind at all."

September

Kurt was gnawing on his bottom lip, tapping his pencil against his text book loudly. He kept throwing frustrated glances towards the door. After it was too much, he threw his pencil against it.

"Will they ever shut up? Does our R.A. not care?" he said in anger.

"I'm pretty sure Eddie goes out partying with them," Blaine said from his bed.

Kurt turned in his chair to face him just as Blaine sat his book down on his lap.

"They're obnoxious. Also, their music sounds like a garbage disposal," Kurt grunted.

"They're just letting loose a little. They're normally not this bad, but give them some credit, it is a Thursday night."

"They're inconsiderate!"

Blaine shut his book and inched towards the edge of his bed.

"I think you're just stressing out because of classes. McKinley probably didn't prepare you at all for college. I'm managing because the curriculum at Dalton was intense, but I'll tell you one thing I've learned: study, always study, but you need to let loose or you'll go insane!"

Kurt gave him a confused look. "Are you saying we should go out with our hall?"

"I mean, it's not really my scene, but if you wanted to, I'd go with you. I was actually suggesting like popping in a movie."

Kurt sighed. "Yeah, I like that plan better. Party's are not my scene either."

"So, the only movies I brought were the first four Harry Potter's. Which one's your favorite?" Blaine asked, walking towards his desk.

"None. I'm never even seen one."

"Seriously? I've been watching these since I was twelve. We can watch Sorcerer's Stone. You'll like it – promise."

In the end, Kurt wasn't sure if he liked the movie because of the film itself or because Blaine and him squeezed onto Blaine's bed and watched the movie on his laptop, shoulders touching, hips meeting, feet occasionally tangling together.

October

Kurt got a text from Blaine saying: Can you meet me in Skirball? Idk what to do.

He frowned down at his phone. Blaine just left about an hour ago for choral practice with the Jazz Choir; this is where it was. The walk between Hayden and Skirball was short. When Kurt walked through the doors, he pulled out his phone and called his roommate.

"Second floor. Room 210," Blaine said, sounded indifferent.

Kurt weaved his way through passing students to the second floor. Eventually, he pushed through the door of room 210. Blaine was seated at the piano, clutching some sheet music really tight.

"Hey, why'd you have me come here?" Kurt asked, approaching his friend.

"I can't move," he said, not looking up.

Kurt furrowed his brow and kneeled in front of Blaine, bending the sheet music towards him to look at the boy.

"You can't move?" Kurt said unbelieving.

"We were rehearsing for our upcoming concert, and the director passed me, I guess, heard me singing, told me to stay after, and offered me a solo," Blaine said in one breath.

"Why is that a bad thing?" Kurt questioned.

"It's not!" Blaine exclaimed. "This is incredible. It's not often that freshmen get accepted into the Jazz Choir, and it's not often that freshman get solos inanyconcert. Being a Music major and Performance Studies minor, this is incredible."

Kurt laughed. "Why am I here then?"

Blaine placed the music on the piano. Sliding off the piano bench, he sat next to Kurt on the floor.

"I've never been so scared in all my life," he said hushed.

Kurt took his roommate's hands. "Blaine, you have nothing to be afraid of. I remember a very energetic, very confident performer singing a solo at the 2005 Western Ohio Regionals Championship."

"Kurt, that's high school," Blaine said softly. "This could make or break me. What if I choke? What if I'm awful? I'll never have another solo!"

"Okay, yes, this is very different from high school because people actually care. They want you to do well, Blaine. In competition, all the audience wanted was to see you fall on your face. Here, everyone wants you to succeed! Including your director – he saw potential in you. I see potential in you, Blaine. You've just got to see potential in you!"

Kurt pulled them both onto their feet. Blaine gave Kurt a shy smile.

"I wish you would have joined the Jazz Choir too, Kurt."

Kurt laughed sadly, "No, there's no place for me. Art History major, Studio Art minor, remember? Maybe one day when I'm freaking out for a showcase, I'll text you, and you can meet me."

Blaine smiled, "Definitely."

November

When Blaine walked into his dorm room, he thought someone had robbed them. It took him a second to realize that this mess was just Kurt studying. Three different textbooks were open. There were tons of loose-leaf papers inscribed with messy handwriting scattered all over as well. Note-cards, pencils, and highlighters were strategically placed amongst the rest. Kurt was in a circle of study.

"How long have you been like this?" Blaine asked, wide-eyed.

"Since noon," Kurt said in short.

"You're been studying for eight hours?" Blaine barked.

"I took breaks to pee and eat," he answered as if it was obvious. "You're doing too much talking! Where have you been?"

"I've been with our R.A. Eddie. We studied at the library then got Starbucks and walked around the city. I've been texting you to meet us…"

"Phone's been off all day," Kurt said quickly, pulling up his flashcards.

Blaine charged at Kurt, pulling the cards out of his hands. "No, you are done studying for tonight!"

"Blaine, no, my test is tomorrow!"

"You've been studying for this all weekend. You're ready. You're going to over-study and just stress out more!"

"I need…"

"What you need is to chill out," Blaine said slowly, pushing himself rather close to Kurt's face. Kurt fumbled over his words. "Eddie was telling me there's a meteor shower tonight. If we go now, we can get Starbucks, sneak up to the roof, and see if we can see the shower over the city lights."

"Blaine, there's no way. The most we'll see is a plane passing by. Besides, I have to…"

"Stop studying."

They were so close. Kurt's heart thumped against his chest. If Blaine stayed like this any longer, Kurt would do anything the boy said.

"Okay," Kurt whispered.

The elevator ride to the top floor was awkward. They were just two young boys, obviously freshmen from the first two floors, holding hot coffee and blankets, standing in the middle of rich New Yorkers on their way to other floors. By the time the elevator got to the top floor, it was just Blaine, Kurt, and a small, fairy-like woman. She kept smiling at them.

Exiting, the two shuffled around, trying to find the roof entrance.

"Over there," the woman said, pointing past Kurt's head.

Blaine saw the door. "Thank you, Miss."

She smiled, knowingly, and walked away. The November air was chilly, but Blaine stayed close to Kurt. He wrapped a blanket over the pair as they lay looking up at the sky. Kurt was right. They really couldn't see stars. There was a glow from the city lights, but they were far enough away almost seeing something.

"Is that one?" Blaine squealed, pointing up.

"Airplane," Kurt laughed. He felt Blaine's pinky touch his under the blanket. His stomach did a flip.

"Damn. We'll see one though."

Kurt smiled. With a whole lot of courage, he placed his hand on top of Blaine's. "And if we don't, that's okay too."

Blaine squeezed Kurt's hand.

December

Their first semester of college at NYU came and went. Tomorrow, Blaine and Kurt would be boarding a plane back to Ohio. Neither admitted how much they'd miss New York though.

"We have to do something big tonight!" Kurt said, watching Blaine pack his clothes in his suitcase.

"Like what?" Blaine asked. "Can you sit on this?"

Sitting on the suitcase as Blaine zippered, Kurt said, "Let's go to Times Square!"

Struggling to speak, Blaine said, "We go there like every weekend."

"I know, but for a month, we won't see it at all! I want to take as many mental shots of it as possible!"

"Okay, how are we going to get there? Subway? Taxi?"

"Let's walk."

Blaine looked up, an are-you-serious? look on his face. "That's like thirty blocks…in the snow."

"Live a little, Anderson!"

Pulling on as many layers as possible, Kurt and Blaine ventured into the city. Kurt didn't realize how thick the snow was falling. The roads, cars, and sidewalks were buried! It didn't bother Kurt too much. He almost skipped across the street. Smiling, as Blaine tried to follow, Kurt threw a snowball at him.

"KURT!" Blaine yelled, almost slipping. Sliding across the street, Blaine caught up to Kurt. He buried his whole arm in the snow on top of a car and snapped it at his friend. Kurt yelped.

"BLAINE!"

They were both laughing. As they jogged up the block, snowballs were being thrown left and right. By the 6th block, Blaine had caught up to Kurt. As Kurt spun to whack his friend in the face, he fell. Blaine tripped over him. Neither could catch their breath, they were laughing so hard.

The snow fell in huge flakes. Both boys lay on their backs, looking up. They were both smiling like crazy.

"I'm going to miss this," Blaine admitted, reaching up to catch a few flakes in his gloved hand.

"Yeah, New York is magical," Kurt said dreamily.

"I meant you."

A blush rose to Kurt's cheeks, and if Blaine had looked over, he would have seen it on his light skin against the white snow.


168 Days Until Kurt's Wedding

Kurt's eyes flickered as sunlight trickled against them. His body woke up at different times. The sun woke up his eyes. Soft breaths woke up his ears. A warm torso woke up his chest. Cold feet woke up his legs. And his face and the rest of him finally woke up as his nuzzled his head into soft, sweet smelling hair.

This wasn't Alek. It was Blaine. His eyes pulled open.

He looked down at his best friend and smiled. In college, some days they'd find themselves tangled in each other like this. It wasn't on purpose; they'd be watching a movie or chatting on Hayden Hall's roof, and they'd just pass out, only to wake up in each other's arms.

Kurt would always get this very specific pulling sensation in his gut when he'd feel Blaine's arms hooked tightly around his waist. He'd always breathe in deep breaths of the smell of Blaine's hair and listen to his friend's steady breaths. He would ride out these feelings until he felt it was inappropriate and woke the sleeping boy.

Today, a year or so out of college, Kurt found himself doing the same routine he'd done so many times. Maybe it was out of habit. Maybe it was because while Blaine slept, he wasn't thinking about being heart broken. But maybe, it was because Kurt missed feeling this way. Whatever it was, it was too early for him to register.

End Notes: Next Chapter: "He's a closeted homo, Blaine, who's asking you to tiptoe into his closet for a quick make-out, but when it comes down to it, he's going to drop you for the first hot beard he sees!"

Comments

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MORE! This is fantastic! :)

Aww I love this chapter! The flashbacks to their time in college were very cute, as was the ending.

Oh my god you like p!atd?! haha. great chapter, i loved it.

AH! They were adorable little college roommates!!