March 5, 2012, 8:13 a.m.
Take Good Care Of My Heart: Chapter 1
E - Words: 1,176 - Last Updated: Mar 05, 2012 Story: Closed - Chapters: 4/? - Created: Jan 01, 2012 - Updated: Mar 05, 2012 308 0 0 0 0
Blaine was so exited to see his boyfriend he didn't notice how awful Kurt looked at first.
-I know. I'm sorry, I just... we-we need to talk... -It was said with a tone that made Blaine shiver. What was happening? Or better yet, what had happened?
-Okay... -He answered. Already sure he wasn't going to like this.
Blaine led the way to the couch and the boys sat down in silence. The longest silence in the history of silences if you ask Blaine.
-Kurt? -He asked finally.
-Remember my friend Gabriel? -Kurt blurted out in a rush. Almost afraid he would chicken out if he didn't start talking now.
-Yeah. -How could Blaine ever forget him. That guy used to hit on Kurt.
-Well he asked me to go with him to this new gay bar in Greenwich Village lastnight-
-Oh... -Why hadn't Kurt told him about this? Was he... hidding something from him? This conversation was definitely making him think so.
-The... the reason I didn't tell you about this was because he actually asked me not to. He wanted a "guys night out" with me, because we haven't been seeing each other much lately and...
-It's okay... I understand -And he really did. He wasn't about to tell Kurt what to do or not to do with his friends. Everybody has a life, boyfriend or not.
-Um... thanks. Anyway... we were there, chatting, catching up and then a man started to hit on Gabriel, and after a moment he excused himself and toot off with this guy.
And so I was finishing my drink to go home, because being in a bar, by mayself, isn't really my idea of fun.
-I know... watching re-runs of Project Runway is always the best way to spent a friday night in New York City, right? -Blaine hoped that a joke would losen Kurt up a little. Because if things kept this tense he didn't think he could handle whatever it was that his boyfrind was trying to tell him.
-Right -Kurt replied awkwardly, clearly not in the mood for jokes right now. This was so tough! How was he going to go through this?
-And then? -Blaine asked unsure.
-And as I was about to leave... this guy came up to me and we started talking until he asked if I wanted to dance. I... I was up to a boring night at home so I thought a little dance wouldn't hurt. We... we were having a good time, just dancing and talking...
Another breath-taking silence, but definitely not in the good way, and this time Blaine thought he might as well die if Kurt didn't start talking soon.
-And all of a sudden he grabbed my arm and dragged me to a side of the dance floor and... and... pushed me up against the wall and... and... and he started... k-kissing me and I... I just...
And Kurt couldn't talk anymore. Tears were pouring down his face non-stop. Blaine was speachless. He stared at his boyfriend with parted lips. Was this really happening? Kurt... cheating? Why? Why? Why?
-You... you kiss him? -His voice was trembling and so low he wasn't sure he had actually spoken.
-I'm so sorry, Blaine... I... had had several drinks and I couldn't think well, and couldn't react to what was happening and I just, I tried to stop him, I really did, but he kept going, more... intence everytime and...
Kurt could barely manage to speak. All he could think about were those hands, holding his wrists against the wall. Why hadn't he pull away at that moment? What was wrong with him? But there was something intoxicating about that guy. He couldn't bring himself to describe it. All he remembered was feeling his willpower vanish from his body. Those drinks... was there something in them?
-Kurt... I... you...
-I'm so sorry Blaine! He kept pressing me against the wall and then he... he... oh God, Blaine he... he...
Before he could stop himself, Blaine lost it.
-What, Kurt? What else did you do? Huh? Did you blow him? Did he fuck you?
And Kurt broke into uncontrolable sobs at his boyfriend's words. Blaine just stared at him for a moment. This was too much. Kurt? Sleeping with someone else? How? Why? This hurted so badly. Hell, this hurted more than anything he could remember.
-Just... Why? Why, Kurt? I thought you loved me... you SAID you loved me!
-I do! Oh God, Blaine, I do! More than anything in this world! Just... please... let me explain! -Kurt was begging now.
-What can you explain, Kurt? You slept with him! -Blaine was yelling at him. So angry he could barely recognise him. Another round of sobs that Kurt couldn't contain. Even tough we wanted-he needed to TALK...
-It... Please, Blaine... It's not what you think! Just... please listen to me!
-Not what I think? Kurt! You cheated on me! How can you explain that? -Blaine wanted to control himself, but he couldn't help it. He was so angry and hurt and just wanted to cry... And that's when he realized he was already crying.
-Please, Blaine... No...
-Really, Kurt! How could you do this to me? To US?
-Please, no... He... he...
-What, Kurt? What could justify you ruining what we had? -Did he just say "had"?
-...please...
-Did he talk into it? What, Kurt? Tell me! Or did he force you to have sex with him? Did he?
Kurt just started crying more desperately. And with that Blaine stormed out of the apartment. Kurt kept crying for a few more moments until he said, so brokenly between sobs...
-Yes...
..............
Blaine had no idea where he was going but he couldn't stop walking. Even though his brain was telling him to just throw himself to the ground and cry until his eyes were dry, his whole body was begging to move, to walk, to run. Maybe this way he could escape, or hide, or forget.
Kurt.
His mind was rushing with images of the other boy. Touching, kissing. Touched, kissed.
Why? The only question on his mind.
He thought Kurt loved him. He had been as sure about that as he was sure of his own love for Kurt.
Everything he once thought he knew collapsed right in front of him.
Had they broken up? Would he had to break up with Kurt now? He wasn't sure he could. Yes, he was angry at him. But most of all, he was hurt. He felt betrayed, abandoned, forgotten, unloved. And Kurt's love was all he needed. All he had, actually. His parents? He hadn't seen them in months. Other friends? They all lived so far away. Kurt was his whole world. Had been his whole world. How are you supposed to move on from nowhere? How do you rebuilt from nothing? How do you heal what belongs to someone else?
Blaine returned to his apartament but Kurt had left, in so many ways. They didn't live together but there were always some of Kurt's things there. All gone. Only a note on the table:
Blaine,
Please call me. I need to talk to you, you can't
imagine how badly I do.
I hope you know how much I love you.
Kurt