“It's not working.”

“Yes, I realize that.”

“Why isn't it working?”

“How should I know?”

“You're the one who's best friends with the guy; shouldn't you know how to visit him?”

“I don't see you making any suggestions.”

“I don't see another god around here. Only you. Which is kind of the problem, isn't it?”

Blaine didn't reply. The two of them had been sitting in the sand next to the ocean for almost an hour and there still was no sign of the sea god. Blaine had insisted that if they could invoke him, he'd show up, and the best place to do that was, well. Where they'd been sitting for almost an hour with no sign of him.

The view at least was beautiful, Kurt admitted to himself. He'd never been to the sea before and though the circumstances that brought him here weren't the best, he had still enjoyed being near it. For the first half hour, at least. Now he was mostly just in the mood to make fun of Blaine.

It was easier to think of the situation as funny rather than a sign that his “guide” wasn't going to be able to find the Underworld. Luckily, it seemed that Blaine had a Plan B. Even better, his plan was to sit in the water, and that was just hilarious to look at.

 “Bulls, dolphins, earthquakes, fish, horses, storms…” Nothing. He repeated his list. Three times.

“Trident,” Kurt said out of nowhere, trying not to laugh at his companion. Blaine looked over at him in confusion, and Kurt expanded. “You forgot “trident”. I think he'd respond to that more than, say, fish.”

“How do you know his symbols anyway?” Blaine asked.

“I don't know all of them. But in every statue of Poseidon I've ever seen, he's been holding a trident.”

Blaine grinned, “Do you spend a lot of time staring at statues of Poseidon?”

Kurt nodded solemnly.  “You know how devoted to the gods I am.”

This time Blaine laughed outright, before shivering violently. “This water is cold. I wish he'd just get here already.”

“Use your name.” Blaine stared at him blankly. “He probably thinks your some random mortal with a crush.”

“So I should look like a god with a crush instead?”

It was Kurt's turn to grin, “I was thinking more along the lines of “his best friend”, but if there's something you want to tell me…”

“Nah, I got over that awhile ago. It's just hard to kiss someone who smells so strongly of fish, you know?”

 “I can't tell if you're joking or not.”

Blaine shrugged and turned back to face the sea rather than Kurt.

“That's not an answer!”

He was ignored again.

“Poseidon!” Blaine yelled, cupping his hands around his mouth. “It's Apollo. Will you be so kind as to come speak to me! It is cold and the sun is setting and I'm miserable.”

Still nothing.

“Blaine,” Kurt said gently. “I think this might be his way of telling you that he hates you.”

“According to you, everyone hates me,” Blaine pointed out.

“That's not true,” Kurt argued. “I just think everyone should hate you.”

Blaine turned to glare at him, Kurt smiled back. “I will drag you into this water and you will be just as wet and cold as me.”

“I can't swim,” Kurt confessed. “So if your evil plan this whole time was to get me away from home just to drown me, then by all means. But I've got to say, it probably would've been simpler to just let the boar get me.”

 “You have a very morbid sense of humor,” Blaine responded. “And the water isn't deep enough for you to drown.”

“I promise you, Apollo, that if you pull me into that water, one of us is going to drown.”

“Must you flirt in my water?” a voice interrupted. “I'm sure that you could find somewhere, or well, anywhere else to have a wild and secret affair, Apollo.”

 Kurt was stuck between wanting to stare at the newcomer and watching Blaine fall into the ocean in his haste to locate the voice.

Both views were nice.

A tall, tall man (he looked to be about eight feet) with shockingly blonde hair stood before them. He was looking away from Kurt, so he couldn't see his face, but what he could see was impressive from the deadly looking trident he held in one hand, to the glowing blue aura that surrounded him.

Blaine struggled to his feet and glared at who Kurt assumed was Poseidon. “Where were you?!”

“Where was I? I'm not the one who's been missing for days.”

“I came to see you!”

“As a mortal? And you wondered why I didn't rush over here while I was trying to find out what happened to you?”

“You two realize you're fighting because you're glad to see each other, right?” Kurt interrupted before Blaine could retort.

Both turned to stare at him, apparently having forgotten his existence, and he got his first look at Poseidon's face. His mouth was huge. Kurt was mesmerized by it for a moment before he realized that he was staring, and instead looked instead at his eyes. They were changing colors even as he looked at them, turning from calm blue to an angry green color before shifting into a darker blue. Not unlike the colors he'd noticed while staring at the ocean earlier, he noted.

“Are you going to be a flower or a tree?”

Kurt frowned, having absolutely no idea what the question was supposed to mean. Blaine, however, seemed to pick up on a hidden insult and began yelling some not-in-any-way hidden insults at his apparent best friend.

“Blaine, you're not helping our case.”

Everything froze. Kurt wasn't sure what he said, but both of the gods in front of him stopped moving at all and were once again staring at him.

Finally, Poseidon spoke in a voice of measured calm. “I'm sorry; I think I must be mistaken. I know I didn't just hear a mortal call you Blaine.”

Kurt looked at Blaine for help, but he just continued to stare in slight horror. Useless, he was. “He told me to call him that so that no one would know where he was.”

Rather than yelling like Kurt half expected him to, Poseidon turned to look at Blaine for several long and agonizing moments before he sighed deeply and walked into the water, leaving his trident in the sand where it managed to stay upright on its own. He stopped at arm's length away from Blaine, still not speaking, before suddenly smacking him upside the head.

“You have so much explaining to do.”

Blaine winced and rubbed at his now sore head, “I will, I promise. But we can't do it here. Nobody can know about him,” here he pointed vaguely in Kurt's direction.

“Any particular reason why?”

“Something to do with my sister who was never born,” Kurt answered when it became obvious that Blaine wasn't going to. “He's actually gone out of his way to not tell me anything specific. In regards to a lot of things, actually…” That wasn't technically a lie, right? Or at least one small enough that it didn't matter?

The glow around Poseidon's body flared brightly and Kurt was forced to look away.

“Could you maybe start yelling at me in private,” Blaine asked in a small voice, looking more sheepish than Kurt had ever seen him.

“May crows feast upon your eyes, Apollo!”

“Stop using my name, please.”

Poseidon rounded on him, suddenly looking furious. “No. No this is ridiculous. Turn yourself back on.”

“I am in hiding, I can't!”

“You going missing for days on end is a lot more suspicious than you visiting me,” Poseidon argued back. “And I can't transport two mortals at once anyway. I'll hide your mortal, but you are getting to the palace on your own.”

Kurt watched in interest as Blaine looked first murderous and then resigned. Without saying a word he closed his eyes before he… grew. Kurt hadn't realized that Blaine was shorter than him until he was suddenly the same height as Poseidon. The glow that flickered to life around him was a golden color, and his already bright and expressive eyes seemed to light up when he finally opened them again.

His posture straightened, his stance widened and his face shifted from the open friendliness Kurt was used to into a much more authoritative expression. He looked… godlike. He was finally more Apollo than Blaine. Poseidon seemed to agree with Kurt's thought but whereas Kurt was slightly weary from the change, Poseidon visibly relaxed.

“That's so much better. Now! Let's work on getting your newest plant safely to the palace!”

“And how is Medusa doing these days?” Blaine muttered.

“Did you say that your name was Kurt, sunflower?” Poseidon asked, walking over to Kurt with a grin on his face. Kurt shot a confused look at Apollo, who just scowled at his best friend.

“Yes…?”

“Excellent! Well Kurt, I'm going to have to kiss you. And you're going to have to not tell Amphitrite about it! She gets so very testy about such things.”

Kurt was not given the opportunity to so much as think about protesting before Blaine was forcing himself between the two of them and arguing with his fellow god. “No. Not going to happen. No. Why would you even think about it? No.”

“If you want him to be able to breathe while he's underwater, I need to bless him,” Poseidon explained calmly, looking more amused by Blaine's reaction than anything else. “That's the easiest way to do it. It's more to do with breath than anything.”

This lead to another round of arguments. Blaine, apparently, thought there were other ways to get Kurt safely to the palace, whereas Sam was very adamant that it was the quickest way possible and had the added bonus of not alerting the other gods to any magic going on.

“My father is dying while you're arguing about this!” Kurt finally yelled, effectively silencing the two gods. “We have a very strict time limit and you're wasting it by arguing about nothing. Just get us somewhere we can talk like actual adults without my dad dying or yours finding out what we're doing!”

 “Fine,” Blaine said after a brief moment of stunned silence. “It clearly doesn't matter. No problem.” He stormed off towards the water before seeming to blink out of existence. Kurt stared in confusion at the spot he'd last saw him before turning back to the water god next to him.

“He's spending too much time with Athena, I think. He's starting to throw fits worthy of her.” Without another word, he grabbed Kurt's face and pressed their lips together. It didn't really feel like a kiss, Kurt thought; Poseidon wasn't lying when he said that the point of this was breath transfer. All he really did was breathe into Kurt's mouth a few times before stepping back and smiling widely. He had a lot of mouth to smile with. “There! Now you should be able to survive the trip!”

He grabbed Kurt's arm and gently but firmly dragged him towards the ocean, stopping briefly to grab his trident, ignoring Kurt's strangled “should?!” and diving in. The journey was… strange. Kurt quickly discovered that he could breathe, but it was hard to know that and know that. His instinct was still to try and hold his breath, and even once he was forced to inhale, the water rushing into his lungs was still enough to make him want to panic.

Luckily it didn't take long to arrive at what had to be several miles underwater. The pressure should've killed him, he was sure, but whatever blessing Poseidon had given him was preventing it. These thoughts distracted him enough that he didn't notice the where they were headed until they were right in front of it.

Poseidon's home was gorgeous. It was a large palace, stretching out further than Kurt could see with pink walls that Kurt assumed were made from coral with large and colorful seashells placed in what could either be decoration or structural support. Windows were made from oddly colored sea glass that were letting light spill out into the otherwise dark and murky water outside.

The inside was just as stunning. The interior walls were made from the same material as the outside, but with statues and paintings decorating them as well as strange plants that Kurt had never seen before placed everywhere adding bright splashes of color. Lining the tops of the walls were orbs of light that managed to burn despite the water everywhere and giving the entire place a warm glow.

“This is beautiful,” Kurt whispered, trying to look at everything at once. Poseidon laughed and thanked him for the compliment, before leading him further inside. After several minutes of walking, the two of them entered a living room, as brightly lit as the hallways and filled with overstuffed chairs. Blaine sat on one of them, still visibly pouting.

“What took so long?”

“Getting mortals here is difficult,” Poseidon said, flopping down into one of the seats. “Which is why I don't do it often, as you should know. So why don't you tell me why he's here?”

For the next half hour Blaine explained the basics of their plan with Kurt adding details where needed.  Poseidon's response was to spend ten minutes cursing Blaine. When things calmed down enough that there was no longer any yelling, Blaine admitted that they needed Poseidon's help to actually get to the Underworld.

The yelling started again.

“You want to drag me into this?! Are you trying to start a war?! I don't get along with either of my brothers and you want me to defy both of them? For some sick mortal? He's going to die anyway! You want to get us killed for maybe ten years of life for this man!”

“He's important,” Blaine insisted.

“Oh? Is he supposed to do some great heroic deed later? Is he going to save the world in his old age? What great future event is so important that you're willing to risk so much for him?!”

“It's not a future event,” Blaine admitted quietly and the silence that followed was deafening.

“If he's already done his great heroic accomplishment, then he'll get into Elysium and all of this is pointless anyway.”

“That's not why he's important.”

“Then why? Why are you doing this and why would I be stupid enough to help you with it?”

“I'm not sure yet,” Blaine hissed.

“Not sure about what?!” Poseidon finally yelled, throwing his hands up in the air.

“I haven't talked to Brittany or Puck yet.”

Poseidon froze. There was a long and incredibly tense silence while the two gods seemed to be communicating something vitally important without speaking.

“Who are Brittany and Puck?” Kurt finally asked. Nobody answered him, but Poseidon moved his gaze from Blaine to Kurt and studied him closely.

“I can't get you into the Underworld,” he finally said. “It's too risky with an actual mortal; there are way too many things that could go wrong.”

 “But you'll help?” Blaine asked, his aura flickering with what Kurt assumed was hope.

“No, of course not,” Poseidon said with a meaningful look at his friend. “I would never go against Zeus's orders like that, and I certainly wouldn't bother Hades in his home. That'd be wrong of me.”

Blaine nodded seriously, “I understand completely. You would never be involved in something like this.”

“In fact, when you were here to visit, entirely alone, you didn't so much as hint as to what you were going to do.”

“And with the disagreement we had—”

“—because I took Artemis's side in an argument you two were having—”

“—you forced me out of the ocean itself and said you weren't speaking to me.”

“It was a shame. And entirely a coincidence that you ended up a few days walk from a known entrance to the Underworld.”

“You had no idea where I'd turn up, after all. You just wanted me away from you.” The two grinned at each other, and Kurt was left in a confused daze.

It was late enough that Poseidon insisted and they stay for dinner before they were “forced” to leave. Over an admittedly delicious seafood dinner, he also tried to convince them to sleep in his palace overnight. Blaine, however, was afraid that one of the other gods would drop in for a visit and find Kurt.

He also worried that the blessing on Kurt would wear off overnight which terrifying enough that Kurt agreed that he'd rather not stay longer than necessary.

After a round of oddly happy goodbyes (didn't these two spend the better part of their time together fighting?), Poseidon kept his non-promise and transferred the two of them back to land, rather remotely. It was hard to keep track of time while shooting through water at a frankly terrifying speed, but Kurt was sure that it took way too long.

They arrived on dry land, oddly enough not soaked to the bone, on a beach decidedly not where they'd entered underwater. Apollo quickly transformed back into Blaine, for which Kurt was grateful for. Despite the fact that he knew what Blaine was a god, it was still strange to see it.

And, as much as he hated to admit it, it was still hard for him to like Apollo even though he was becoming rather fond of Blaine. It made him feel horribly guilty, but it was the truth regardless.

“I'm sorry he couldn't help more.”

“Want to know a secret?” Kurt asked and Blaine nodded his agreement. “I didn't think he would help in the first place. I thought the entire trip was a waste of time.”

“I wouldn't have been able to get us this close on my own that quickly,” Blaine pointed out.

“You still would've tried. Thanks for that.” Blaine grinned at him in response. “So… are you going to tell me who Brittany and Puck are?”

Blaine laughed outright and began to set up camp.