Kurt was freaking out in his own special way.  Not because of the sex, but because of the emotional torrent that came over him afterwards.  Blaine had never asked for anything before, not even for Kurt to quit smoking in the apartment even though Kurt knew it bugged Blaine to no end that he was doing it - though maybe not in this moment when it had been clear that Kurt needed a cigarette to stem the overwhelming things he was feeling and couldn't even hold onto them long enough to put names on them.  He knew that anxiety was in there, as it always was, joy too for some reason, and also grief, also for no reason that he could pinpoint.  Other emotions floated in and out of him like he was an open house for them to explore and, damn it, the cigarette was the only thing helping him.

This had been the first thing Blaine had truly asked of Kurt though, and Kurt had been more than happy to give it to him, trying to ensure Blaine's first time was good - not like Kurt's.  He wanted to show Blaine love and caring and concern, not pain and fear.  Based on how blissful Blaine had looked afterwards, he had succeeded, but as his own orgasmal bliss subsided, Kurt suddenly had felt like he hadn't given Blaine enough.  He had never given him enough, and Blaine had trusted him so entirely, and… and….

Kurt couldn't help but spill.

“My name is Kurt Hummel… and I'm from Lima, Ohio….”  was just the start.  Blaine sat and listened attentively as Kurt launched into what became three hours of his life story.  He told Blaine about his mother, about her death, about his father, about the bullies, about how the small steps he had taken to try and distance himself from his abusers at school had grown into something that took over his life.   He wasn't who he looked like, but he was.  The pink hair, the piercings - they were nothing his former self would have accepted, but he didn't fit into the mould of who he had been before either.  

Blaine had quietly listened the whole time, bringing Kurt a glass of water when he needed it, and holding him close when he needed that.  To Blaine, Kurt fully exposed himself, and when it was all over he felt relief like he never knew existed.  Someone knew.  Someone truly knew him.

“So what do you want to do now?”

Kurt shook his head, “I want to see my dad… and yet I don't…. I want to go see if Quinn is okay… and I'm afraid of that too.  I feel a pull to go back there but I'm scared to.”

“Well…”  Blaine squeezed the hand he held gently, “We have another month before semester ends.  Why don't you talk about it with your doctor and see how you feel as time goes on… it's not like you have to go see him this instant after all.  Work yourself up to the idea.”

Kurt nodded.  That made sense… and he also didn't want to abandon school just like that to run back home that might not even welcome him.  As much as his dad spoke about him in his speeches, Kurt had a niggling feeling that maybe, like so many politicians, his dad might just have been exploiting the situation.  Maybe his dad was happier without him.

Quinn he was worried about too.  Would she even want to see him again?  A memory of a time gone by?  Maybe she had cut him out so quickly because she hadn't wanted any reminder of who she had been and what she had done.  Kurt wanted to know she was alright though.  He needed to.  Kurt had purposely not done any web searches on her, worried that he'd find out she had outed him as a crackwhore.

“Will you come with me… if I go?”

“Of course.”  Blaine drew Kurt in against his side with an arm wrapped around his waist.  “I'll be there for whatever you need…. though….”

“Hmm?”

“Honestly?  Kind of nervous to meet your dad.  One of the benefits of being with you was never having to worry about the whole meeting the parents things.”

Kurt heard the playful tone in Blaine's voice and chuckled along with the joke.  “Well… don't worry about that.  Let me worry about if he even wants to see me, let alone my boyfriend.”

“Mmm… I like it when you call me that.  Boyfriend.”  Blaine damn near purred as he said it and Kurt chuckled again, thankful for the change in mood.  “Anyhow, of course he wants to see you.  You're his son.”

“We left on bad terms.”

“So you've told me… but still… they were as bad for you as they were for him and you still want to see him.  Why should he feel any differently?”

Kurt sighed.  Damn Blaine and his making sense.  “I don't know… and now he's this big important public figure… and with my whole…”  he swept a hand over himself to indicate all of himself, “.... look now… maybe he won't want to associate with me.”

“That's ridiculous.”  Blaine said quickly.  “Everything I've heard about in the news says your dad is the first person to help others and support people.  He won't care what you're dressed like, he'll be happy to have you back.”

“So you have heard about him…”  Kurt mused.

“I'm gay Kurt…”  Blaine winked at him, “Just in case you haven't noticed.  I pay attention to the people in power who are fighting for my rights.”

“And yet… you didn't….”

“Connect the dots from him to you?”

“Yeah.”

Blaine sighed softly and looked towards Kurt, holding his gaze, “I might have, but I wasn't going to push you on something you weren't ready to tell me yourself.”

Kurt blinked a few times, stupefied by Blaine's admission, “How long have you connected the dots for?”

Blaine looked down, “Since… I don't know… last summer I guess.”  His head snapped back up then to look at Kurt worriedly, “That doesn't make you upset does it?  That I kept that from you?”

Kurt snickered and shook his head, “I've kept a shitload more from you Blaine.  Thanks though.”

“For what?”

“For not pushing it.  I wasn't ready.”

Blaine mimed a ‘phew' motion with a toss of his hand by his forehead and chuckled.  “Good guessing on my part then.

“Anyhow… it's late now… we should sleep. I need to write a brilliant paper tomorrow on the themes in the assigned novel.” Kurt noted, scooting down into the bed with Blaine following his motions after making a ‘Yuck' noise in response to the assignment.  It was easy to fall asleep that night.  Easier than it had ever been.  Without the weight of all his secrets on his heart, Kurt found it easier to float into his dreams.

After his night of admissions to Blaine, things went way too quickly.  

There were the investigations into various universities and colleges, with Kurt maybe spending a little bit too much time on the Ohio State University website, even though he was pretty sure a younger version of himself had sworn to the non existent gods above that he'd never in a million years go to college in Ohio.

Then there was the inevitable break up between Rachel and Wes which had Wes over way too much, eating way too much take-out pizza, and sobbing to both Blaine and Kurt endlessly despite the fact that he had been the one to end things after Rachel had told him he would need to change programs because if he was a doctor he'd expose her to far too many things that she needed to stay away from to avoid giving any stage time to an understudy.  Wes eventually moved into the guest room since his lease was up in another month anyhow and he needed the emotional support.  Plus there was the added benefit that, of all the places in New York they might meet up, Rachel was almost guaranteed not to show up at Blaine and Kurt's apartment.

Romeo also ate something questionable off the street when Wes, in his state of breakup sadness, had taken the dog for an extended walk.  That led to Romeo needing his stomach pumped after he continually dry heaved for a couple days and wouldn't eat anything else.  Kurt made sure the poor pup was adequately spoiled on his return to the apartment, even going so far to have Romeo snuggle between him and Blaine much to Blaine's grumblings about wanting to be touching his boyfriend.

Blaine would periodically show Kurt an article or interview he'd find on Congressman Hummel, all of which included him talking about Kurt.  How talented Kurt had been, how intelligent, how he had been so much like his mother.  None of those things really resonated with Kurt though, mostly because he didn't see any of those things within himself.  He knew Blaine was trying to help, but honestly, he had seen most of the articles during his own personal searches and they were redundant if anything.

Somewhere during that last month, Kurt managed to produce a plethora of essays and projects for his courses, getting him, once again, the top mark between the three men - though none of them mentioned that to Wes who was already a sad sack of emotion.  They didn't need one more thing for him to blubber over.

Blaine quit his job too, or, at least gave notice for the end of the month.  

“It's not just the thing with your dad Kurt… it's that we're talking about moving, and also that I need to find something that will actually look good on a resume for whatever I want to do.  I like the shelter… but it won't help me get into business or music.”

Kurt nodded to that, if for no other reason than that he wouldn't have to share Blaine with another place on the weekends until they had settled somewhere else.  For as much time as he spent with Blaine it never seemed like enough.

Wes was also bitchy about them leaving.  He called them various things, traitor being the most favoured term.  He said they were abandoning him and even though they invited him along, since medical programs were scattered all over, he refused.  He wanted the best, and in his mind he was in the best program.

So they just rolled their eyes and continued on.

Kurt noted his dad was in Ohio for the first week of May, since he apparently split his time between Washington and Lima now.  He knew he was going to go, ready or not.  He wanted his daddy.  It was no longer a choice for him.

Blaine was also nervous about it, though he tried to act otherwise.  Kurt knew he wanted this to go well for him, but because he couldn't control that, he worried on Kurt's behalf.  It would have been sweet had it not been so exhausting.  Thank goodness they had crossed the step towards intimacy so he could at least soothe his boyfriend over with an orgasm.  That always worked to mellow him out, not unlike cigarettes did with Kurt (though the orgams definitely helped too).

Kurt also told Shelby the coles notes version of his life story over the phone and was so grateful when she told him how strong he was and how if his dad didn't accept him then she'd adopt him officially anyhow - especially since he called more than any of her legitimate children anyhow.  

“Already have the last name anyhow.”

She tutted on the other end of the phone, “Would you change it back now?”

Kurt wasn't sure, but now it would just be one more thing to wrap his head around.

So, at the end of the month, he and Blaine were reiterating the instructions for taking care of Romeo to a sullen Wes before rolling their luggage out behind them and catching the cab waiting for them just outside the apartment door which took them to the airport.

“You ready for this Kurt?” Blaine asked as they heard their boarding call and offered his hand.

Kurt looked up at the flashing sign that read LIMA, OHIO: BOARDING NOW, GATE 21 before taking the offered hand and looking back to Blaine.

“Yeah.  Let's go.”