When he awoke, Kurt felt more tired than he should have.  Like he could close his eyes and sleep for another day still. Sleep hadn't cured his fatigue - it never did, and last night it was no better.  

Last night it was the worst actually.

Romeo was still firmly plastered across his back, a constant source of fuzzy, solid, warmth, and in front of him he held onto Blaine who made soft little wheezing sounds as he slept.

Blaine.  Safe.  Blaine.

Outside the room he heard Wes' voice mixed with another voice.  It took Kurt a moment to pinpoint where he had heard that voice before.  It was his shrink - the lady with whom he occupied a room with for an hour a few times before this.  She'd ask him questions, he would pick at his fingernails, she would ask him more questions, he would remind himself to ask Blaine to pick him up some nail polish so he'd stop picking at his nails.  By the end of each session his nails looked absolutely torn up and she would have nothing written down on her notepad.

His eyes closed again as he focused all his energy on listening into the conversation outside the door.

“So no improvement?”

“No.” Wes replied, “Granted he's been asleep since we spoke last night.”

“That's actually an improvement.  He felt safe enough to sleep.”

Safe.  Blaine.  Safe.

“I'll go on in and see if either of them are awake.  Give me a sec.”

The door was pushed open then and Kurt kept his eyes closed, feigning sleep.  He didn't want to see that over-educated bimbo anymore than he did any other time he had to go see her.  He went because it was expected of him, and nothing more.

Blaine stirred however with the noise and murmured, “Huh?  Wes?  Wha?” as he shifted awake under Kurt's hold.

“Kurt's doctor is here.  She'd like to check on him.”

He could feel the movement of Blaine's head as he nodded and then a hand was gently placed on his back, rubbing him gently, “Kurt, come on… wake up.”

A noncommittal grunt was all he gave, doing his best to make his head extra heavy on Blaine's chest where it had fallen in the night.

“If you don't let her see you, you're going to have to go to the hospital and it'll be out of my hands Kurt.  Come on…”

Well Fuck.

He let his eyes flutter open and looked upward at Blaine who was looking back down at him with what?  Worry?  Pity?  Sadness?  It didn't matter.  He had screwed everything up and delayed this as long as he could.  Time to pay the piper.

“Fine.”

Blaine carefully detached himself from Kurt, patting him on the back and telling him he'd just be outside if Kurt needed anything before his presence was replaced with the over perfumed woman that was definitely on his list of people he didn't want to see right now.  Or… ever.

“Kurt.  I know you haven't spoken much at our meetings but I need you to talk now or else I'll need to refer you to another specialist that doesn't make house calls.  Let me know that you understand what I'm saying.”

He sighed and sat up, wincing as he recalled the pain within him before focusing on her legs.  The cut of her pants really didn't suit her body shape.

“I fucking get it.  Spill or get fucked over.”

“Well, in a manner of speaking, yes.  Do you want me to ask you questions or do you want to just tell me what happened?”

“I took the dog for a walk and tripped on a rock.”

“Kurt…” she warned.

“I was asked to dance in a music video and was overcome by my newfound stardom.”

“Kurt…”

He sighed, looked at his lap, and let his voice become small, the same as he felt saying what came next.  “I ran into someone from before.”

“And?”

“He took me out of sight….”

“Kurt….”

“He hurt me….”

Without the drugs or the high or the alcohol, there was nothing to numb him and make him feel alright.  His mind wouldn't separate from his body the way he had grown accustomed to, and he couldn't stop the way he reacted.  Besides, he deserved this.  He expected it.  His time with Blaine had been a vacation away from the way things really were and would be forever for him.

But as he screamed, his own voice was overpowered by a yell by the man behind him, who flew backwards off him as a brown blur jumped between them with a growl and a snarl.  Kurt looked back and saw Romeo with Big G's arm in his jaws, tugging back on it while Big G struggled to grab the gun in his belt that Kurt could see the hilt of now that his jacket was loose.

“Fucking mongrel!  I'll put you down!”

Kurt deserved to be hurt, to be killed even.  He had accepted what was to come the moment he had let Big G take him here without argument, but Romeo hadn't.  Romeo was innocent.  In a flash Kurt had his pants pulled up and gave Big G a kick to the groin and making him fall to the ground before calling Romeo to run after him as he used all the adrenaline he could muster to flee, the dog at his heels.  

Running like that was the most painful thing Kurt had ever experienced, and because he had no destination except for “away” he kept running until he was short of breath and his body was throbbing with burning aches that shot up and down him relentlessly.  He paused then, just long enough to look back and ensure that they hadn't been followed.  That's when he took Romeo's leash and stumbled back to the apartment.

At the very least, he needed to get Romeo back to where it was safe.

Though by the time he made it to the doors of the apartment, he was dragging his feet, and crawled up the first flight of stairs.  That's where his legs had given out on him and that's where Blaine and Wes had found him.  When they had found him, he had been able to let his consciousness drift over him so he didn't feel the pain or the humility.  He didn't feel anything when he went to that place.  

She sighed.  “Alright Kurt.  I do keep a rape kit in my bag given the nature of my clientele…”

He nearly growled at the suggestion, wrapping his arms around his chest, “Nothing to fucking check for.  He didn't finish off on me.  Dog stopped him.”

Another sigh.  “Smart dog.  Alright… but what about damage or… -”

“Look.  I fucking told you what happened.  Can't you leave me alone now?  I don't want to talk about it!”

“But it isn't right Kurt.  It's clearly affecting you and you need to -”

“Fuck what I need!”  He snapped, looking up and at her face for the first time since she came in.  “I'm a goddamn whore!  If the dog hadn't jumped in I would have let him do more and then let him get me high and take me to be beaten by my pimp!”

“Kurt….”

He looked back away, trying to ignore her even as she kept speaking.

“You need to tell me Kurt.  I need to know if there's damage.”

“Yah.  A shitload.  I'm all fucked up.”

“You know that's not what I meant… not that I'm trying to minimize what's going on in your head.” She insisted.

He shrugged and then, after a breath, gave a small nod.  “Just… like give me some of that cream my friend always got for me from the free clinic.”

“This has happened before?”

“Just give me the damned cream if you have it.”

She sighed, clearly hoping she was making some kind of break through and getting nothing but back his wall.  After digging into the purse she carried, she wrote a few things down on a pad of paper.  “I'll give this prescription to Blaine to get filled and I'll see you at our next meeting.  However I will be advising both those boys out there, who are quite concerned about your well being by the way, that if you go unconscious or you disassociate again that they are to call for an ambulance no matter what you tell them.  Understand?”

Perfectly bitch.  Basically be a good kid again and not show any weakness.  Pretend everything is fine.  Fucking perfect.

“Yeah, whatever.”

She left then, and Kurt wound himself around Romeo, letting the dog lick him lazily.  “Sorry boy… sorry.  I didn't mean to get you involved in all my bullshit.”

More talking in the hallway, including a few high pitched noises that came from Blaine and Wes and then a door closing and more talking.  Finally footsteps came towards the room and Blaine emerged from behind the door.

“Hey.”

Kurt let his eyes drift up and over the man hovering in the doorway.  He saw in those amber eyes that the game was up.  The bitch had told them and now it was definitely pity he saw in Blaine's eyes.   

“She said… ah… you might want a bath and to change…. Wes is making you a bath in the big bathroom - and getting your medication ready before he goes to fill that prescription.  Can I get you some breakfast maybe?”

Kurt sighed.  He had to put his act back on.  He couldn't risk them taking him out of this apartment.  The outside was dangerous.  He couldn't go back out there.  He needed to stay in here.  Here was safe.

“You going to wipe my ass too?  I can take care of myself.” He snarked, using all the effort he had in himself to fling back the blanket and stand up, ignoring the aches within him.

Blaine held up his hands in surrender, “Sorry.  I didn't mean… I… just wanted to help….”

Stay up, stay up, stay up.  

“Thanks.  A fucking lobster would be great.”

Blaine sighed before him and looked down at his toes and then back up, “Just… I'm glad you're feeling better.  I'm here if you need me.”

Blaine.  Safe.  Blaine.

“Great.  Now let me soak.  I hope there's bubble bath.” Kurt grumbled, pushing himself to step one foot in front of the other.  How Blaine managed to get him to the bedroom last night he didn't recall, but it must have been some kind of miracle.  “I fully expect to smell like lavender after all this nonsense.”

True to Blaine's word, the bath was ready, though bubbles weren't in the equation.  Wes had left his pills on the counter with a glass of water which Kurt took quickly before he did what he spent most mornings doing and second guessing his need of the little tablets.  He shucked off his clothing then, tossing them in the basket and making a point of not looking at the insides of his boxer briefs before climbing into the tub with an audible moan of appreciation. He would never get tired of having warm baths, not after he had gone so long without them.

Kurt closed his eyes and dropped his head back on the edge of the tub, letting himself soak as long as the water would stay warm for.  It felt good - amazing in fact - and he stayed in well past when the water was warm and until it was cool.  Only then did he force himself up, using both hands braced on each side of the tub to push himself out and up.  

Dizziness hit him then, spirals of colours and movement in front of his face and he stumbled back, splashing back into the tub as he lost his balance.   He whined and struggled again to get up, this time managing to step out of the tub before the vertigo hit him and he collapsed on the ground.

The door was opened, and true to his form, Blaine was there to save him yet again.  Kurt was quickly draped in a towel and picked up, taken to his bed, and set down again.  

“Wes will be back soon with that medicine.” Blaine said softly as he pulled the blanket up and over Kurt who by this point was looking away, humiliated yet again in front of this kid.  Romeo jumped up on the bed and Blaine reached down to rub behind the dog's ears, telling him he was a good boy as the chocolate lab laid down at Kurt's feet.

Well that they could agree upon at least.

Blaine excused himself for awhile as he went to collect breakfast for Kurt and tidy up the bathroom.  Toast and fruit was brought to Kurt's bedside and Blaine sat himself on the edge of the bed.

“You know you snuggled me last night hey?”

Kurt groaned a little, “Yeah?  So?”

“So I never had you pegged as a cuddler.”

“And I never had you pegged as a butler but here you are serving me my meals and fluffing my pillows.”

Blaine chuckled, looking towards the ground before he returned to being somber, “I'm glad you're here though.  We were really worried…”

“I'm fine.”

“You're not… but that's okay.  I know you will be.  It won't be today… or tomorrow… but someday you will be, and you need to know that so long as you're trying, I'll be there to help you.”

Kurt couldn't think of a damned thing to say to that so he just grabbed an orange slice and shoved it into his mouth so he had an excuse not to talk.

“Do you want me to stay or go?” Blaine asked then, looking over at Kurt.

Kurt swallowed the orange, looking at Blaine intently for a moment.

Safe.  Blaine.  Safe.

“Stay.”

“Okay.”