"You could not step twice into the same rivers; for other waters are ever flowing on to you." - Heraclitus of Ephesus

When Blaine returned to his own shack it was a huge relief for Kurt. One of the reasons he had cleaned Blaines home for him was so that Kurt could have a private place to do his daily washing. He might have seen Blaine in all his glory, but Kurt was not going to extend the other man the same privilege. The last time anyone else had seen him naked was his dad when he was a kid. He didnt figure having a sick man in his hut was reason to change that.

It also meant that Kurt could sleep in his own bed again - once he had swapped the pelts around anyhow. He didnt want to sleep on the same pelt Blaine had just in case any germs were there waiting to invade his body. Given how quickly the bug had spread into the community and held almost half the population hostage over the past couple weeks, it was clearly a virulent strain that Kurt was not going to mess with. He already had used up all his good luck when he didnt contract the bug when Blaine had puked on him as it was.

Kurt didnt realize how quickly he had become used to Blaines presence until things went back to normal. Blaine was back to visiting Trent regularly and now had a swath of new friends courtesy of his new hero status so he was only in his shack to sleep. He at least made the effort though to keep Kurt supplied with music, so Kurt couldnt help but forgive him for that.

And the thought that he was forgiving of Blaine for being absent nagged at Kurt as well. Why should he have become so accustomed to another person so quickly that the quiet he awoke to each morning was disconcerting, even though he should have been sleeping much better since it was in a bed and not on the ground. What was there to forgive Blaine for? He wasnt expected to be in Kurts home no more than Kurt wanted anyone else in his home. He was used to his privacy. It was safe, comfortable, known.

So why did his heart leap into his throat everytime Blaine stopped to wave to him when they passed on the street?

"I see whatever advice you gave Trent is working well." Kurt quietly noted one morning to Blaine in the lobby of the clinic when he saw Kitty and Trent flirting shamelessly with one another in the next room.

Blaine chuckled and shook his head, "He just needed a little self confidence is all."

"Is he one of the guys who has girlfriends in other places?"

Blaine shook his head, "No… Trent is… well… Trents a stand up guy. Half the guys talk about taking what opportunities they have for the bedroom and Trent has always been insistent on waiting for the right person. Its gotten him some grief sure, but look at that…" Trent was on the receiving end of a peck on the cheek from Kitty as Kurt and Blaine peeked in. "... none of the guys could ever say theyve looked so happy as he does right now."

Kurt smirked. "And all it took was his getting his leg crushed."

"Well…" Blaines head turned to look towards Kurt with a small smirk of his own, "... maybe there is such a thing as fate… or perhaps its just Trent being Trent - making good on a bad situation."

"If only we could all have his disposition." Kurt mused, looking away from Blaine so their eyes didnt catch. He was having a harder time evading those honey eyes and loosening himself from their hold when they did capture him.

"Well, since hes occupied, maybe you could have lunch with me instead? I know youre probably on your way to something, but -"

"I was." Kurt lied.

"... but maybe, just this once, you could delay it?"

"Fine. But keep me entertained."

Blaine beamed and led the way outside, now a pro at finding his way to the kitchen. They waited in line and collected their meals, going to sit at a table as if it was the most normal thing in the world.

"Holy shit. Hummels having lunch with the rest of us." Noah exclaimed then.

"Has hell frozen over?" Santana chirped in addition to the commentary.

Kurt just sighed and ignored the comments, setting about eating his meal.

"I know you said you rarely eat with everyone else Kurt…." Blaine said, voice lowered, "But is it really that unusual?"

Kurt gave Blaine a solitary nod, looking down at his food with what might appear to anyone else to be deep interest though it was really just his attempt to avoid eye contact with anyone else.

"Do you want to eat somewhere else then?"

"Its okay." Kurt said quietly, not looking up and speaking towards his food. "I dont want to disrupt your meal."

Blaines shadow on the table shook its head and then stood, taking both plates, "Youre not. Come on."

Kurt stood and walked after Blaine, trying to sort in his head what the hell had just happened and why Blaine was so insistent on making things easier for him. They walked for a ways in silence before coming to the library where Blaine set their plates each on a stack of unsorted books and sat on the floor. "There."

"You didnt have to do this you know Blaine… Im used to it all… and its not like they were being mean or anything." Kurt noted as he sat himself on the floor aside Blaine and took his plate in hand.

"No. They werent… but it didnt take a genius to figure out you werent comfortable there and I did invite you to lunch after all. I dont want you to be uncomfortable on my account."

God why wasnt Blaine gay and staying in town Kurt thought to himself as he looked with wide eyes over at the other man. It had been so long since someone had taken the time to really look at him and see how he was feeling.

"Can I ask why youre so tense around other people or is that an off limits conversation?"

Kurt sighed and shook his head, "Its just… a long story… and if its okay, I really dont want to spend my lunch telling it." Or trying to figure it out for that matter. What had started as some of the group making fun of his ears and skin tone had gotten so much worse, so quickly, that Kurt still couldnt figure it out in his head. All he knew was that it had culminated in a hate kiss and a beating.

"Of course." Blaine smiled and nodded acceptingly, much to Kurts relief.

"Ive been thinking…." Kurt started, deciding to change the conversation dramatically to get the focus off him. "... has anyone ever looked into how humans and Others mate to get half breeds? I read in a biology textbook that something has to be of the same species in order to be able to breed, and that would mean…."

"That Others are related to humans. Yah. Its been brought up before." Blaine said with a nod, "Though it could be like a horse and donkey thing… making mules that cant reproduce. No one is sure if those kids are fertile since theyre so young."

"Still… it certainly raises a whole lot of interesting question about them."

"And us."

"Like?"

Blaine licked the stew off his lips, something Kurt couldnt help but watch, and explained, "Like if humans are genetically related to them, then why cant we use magic and they can?"

Kurt shrugged, "Never seen them use magic to begin with. Never really seen one for that matter - only on television."

"Really?" Blaine perked up at that, looking at Kurt with something he could only see as surprise.

"Really. Most people here havent."

"Wow." Blaine said softly, voice trailing off as he looked off in the distance for a moment, "Maybe thats why this place is relatively sane."

Kurt chuckled and shook his head, "On the surface anyhow. What about you? What have you seen of them?"

"Well… when we go into the old major cities you can usually see them on patrols. You have to use binoculars though because the best place to stay in the old cities is high up in old apartments. They dont seem to like to go up too high…."

"Wonder why that is…"

Blaine shrugged, "Not sure. Odd considering some of them can fly or at least change into things that fly."

"What else can they do?"

Blaine smiled over at Kurt then, a simple gesture that for some reason unnerved Kurt. "If they hadnt totally killed off humanity and pushed us to these barren places I would call them amazing… "

"But they did, so…"

Blaine nodded and looked back away freeing Kurt of his gaze and letting Kurt breath again. "Some change shape… some can change size… Ive seen some fly and turn into puffs of dark smoke… theres those that can create water and fire in their hands… they all seem to have a special talent…"

"We really didnt stand a chance."

"No. We didnt."

It was quiet then as the certainty of that statement swept over them and they spent the moment eating.

"How did you guys fuel your quads?"

"Theyre diesel… so there was more fuel available to use when the Tides happened…. and we all keep a map of places that still have diesel stores - like old gas stations. When we found a good batch we added some stabilizers to it and hid it. We have them stored everywhere…."

"And whatll you do once theyre used up?"

Blaine chuckled, "Apparently… and this is what weve been told, havent tried it yet, used fryer fat is a good fuel source. That stuff never degrades if the fast food bins is any indication…. god I miss fast food."

Kurt chuckled. "That is one thing I definitely dont miss."

"What do you miss?"

Kurt had to think about that. He knew questions like that were common among the community but it was the first time it had been directed to him.

"Hot showers."

"With smelly soap…." Blaine added on, eyes closing as he began to imagine it.

"And a towel right out of the dryer waiting when you got out…." Kurt said, moaning softly as he pictured it.

"Slippers too…"

"And deodorant…."

"Another homeless jab Kurt?" Blaine said, peeking an eye open at him.

Kurt laughed and shook his head, "No… honestly… I used to spend so much time taking care of my skin and hair… Time that would have been better spent learning some useful skill for this world."

"I think youre doing okay Kurt… everyone says youre the best shot in town after all."

Kurt looked away. Sure he was, but what good was being able to hunt when he couldnt keep his little shack in one piece without a whole lot of effort? And there were others things he could have learned about that would have benefitted him more than the fashion and music he had gravitated towards as a youth - like mining for example. If the community could just find a good source of coal theyd be a lot more comfortable….

"Besides… you and I… and so many others were kids when the Tides came. There was no way we could have been prepared…" Blaine added on, seeing that Kurt was lost in his own thoughts.

"Im just glad my mom didnt have to live through it…" Kurt said without thinking and then winced his eyes shut. He hadnt meant to let that out, to speak of her aloud. It made her real.

"She died before the Tides?"

Kurt just nodded as an image of his dad grabbing the last family photo the three of them had had out of his wallet before throwing it away, saying that he wouldnt ever need to worry about credit cards again as he tried to cheer Kurt up on the road north.

"Was it peaceful at least?"

Kurt shook his head that time. She was bound by cords and IVs to her hospital bed, a ghost of her former self. She didnt look like she did in the picture his dad carried, or the one Kurt kept in his mind for that matter.

"Sorry."

Kurt eyes split apart to small cracks and turned to look at Blaine, quiet for a moment before responding.

"Thank you."

"For what…?" Blaine looked confused.

Kurt shut his eyes again, "For listening even though I wasnt talking."

"Oh…."

"I should take this back and get to hunting." Kurt said, referring to his empty plate as he started to stand. Blaines hand dashed out then and took the plate from him.

"Ill do it. You go."

Kurt nodded his thanks and left then, returning to his hut to get his bow and arrows so he could hunt as he said. It wasnt actually what he had planned on doing, but he needed to get away after opening up to Blaine. It had been so long since he had spoken so candidly with anyone and it was like tearing open a scar on his heart and letting tainted blood cascade through his body. It ached, and Kurt needed an escape. Hunting was as good of an escape as anything.

Two jack rabbits later and after releasing one of the local wild dogs caught in one of his snares, Kurt returned in the dark to the community. Even though it was still around supper time, darkness has swept over the land. By the time winter solstice came, or Christmas for those few who still celebrated it, it would be dark for more hours of the day than it would be light.

He turned in his catches, collected his dinner, and started making his way back to his home as Kurt was ready to turn in early since he had an early patrol shift the next morning. As he passed by the clinic, a grating female voice spoke out to him.

"Hey elf boy, you and that little hobbit are getting pretty close." Kitty said with a smug smirk, leaning against one of the wooden pillars to the side of the doorway as she looked at Kurt.

Kurt stopped in his tracks and let out a low sigh to release any anger the old nickname brought up in him before he looked toward Kitty with icy eyes. "Can I help you?"

"Oh no." She stepped down from where she was and approached him, her overconfidence radiating off her and that damned bouncing ponytail that Kurt would have loved to cut off. "Just wanted to thank you. Im told its because of you that I get to spend my days being appreciated as much as I should be."

Kurt looked at her blankly for a moment and then spun his wrist around, "... and by that you mean….?"

"Well rescuing Trent for one. He keeps telling me that you picked up the call that resulted in him being here so he could butter me up with compliments all day, and of course for accepting, once again, that you shouldnt be in a position of any power which resulted in my being selected for the new medic position."

Kurt tried to stop himself from rolling his eyes, but the strain of holding back was painful so he ended up doing it anyways. Kitty was nothing if not full of herself. "Whatever…." He looked away then, preparing to continue his journey when she called out.

"Wait."

Kurt looked over his shoulder, giving Kitty one more chance to say something worthwhile.

"You shouldnt have to be so miserable all the time you know. At least get some action from that hobbit before he goes."

Another eye roll. "Kitty. Even I was so free with that, that hobbit, and Im assuming you mean Blaine, is straight."

She laughed at that. Guffawed really and shook her head. "Oh the hell he is."

Kurt knew she was conniving and wouldnt be played to feel like he had a shot just because Kitty teased him into it. "He is."

"Oh I assure you, hes gayer than the fancy song and dance show Rachel makes the kids put on every year."

"Give it a rest Kitty. I think I know him better than you."

Kitty smirked and folded her arms over her chest. "Oh really? Well… good news for me then…." She looked back to the clinic and yelled, "Oh BLAINE!"

Kurts eyebrows shot up to the top of his brow and in anticipation of whatever Kitty had in store, he turned in place and stood there as Blaine came out on command, looking first to Kitty, then to Kurt, and then over to Kitty again, his face knitted up in confusion.

"Is… everything… okay?"

"Oh fine sweetie…" Kittys words dripped with syrupy sweet and she strode over in front of Blaine. "... I was just wondering…" She placed a hand to his chest and Kurts heart rate shot up with the motion - as did Blaines own eyebrows. "... Kurt, once again, wont go to the dance with me this weekend… so I was thinking…" Her fingers drummed over Blaines chest while she locked eyes with him, batting her eyelashes with a little more than suggestiveness, "... maybe you could take me…"

"Eh-heh…." Blaine flummoxed, adams apple bobbing in his throat as he backed up a step, away from the wandering hand of the woman trying to seduce him on the spot before Kurts own eyes.

"Oh come on…." Her fingers followed his movements, though flicked under his chin, rubbing the scruff there and winking so that Kurt could see. "Trent cant dance, so he wont mind…"

Blaine took another step back, and looked to the side to Kurt for help, who just gave him a shrug. It wasnt like Kurt knew how to handle any woman, let alone Kitty.

"Im pretty sure he would mind actually…" Blaine stuttered as he looked back to Kitty, finding himself abandoned by Kurt in this situation.

"Oh no. He said I should ask someone else to take me until he can spin me. Besides…" She ignored Blaines apparent discomfort and wound her hands around his hips, Blaine worrying his lower lip in his teeth as she made the motion, and then he went wide eyed when she pressed against him. "... I need someone who can follow me back home afterwards."

Kurt felt his stomach lurch then, not only because of the gratuitous display of sexuality from a woman, but because he didnt want to see Blaine lose any sense of sensibility and go for it.

"God… Kitty…." Blaine shoved himself back and out of her arms, "You know Im not interested in… women parts. And even if I was, I wouldnt go behind Trents back like that." His face went red with the admission and he seemed to be keeping his eyes away from Kurt once he said it.

"Oh I know - and neither would I for that matter." Kitty smirked and the act she had been putting up fell away as did her hands to her side. "Just making sure!"

And with that revelation, Kitty Wilde walked back into the clinic, her ponytail bouncing behind her head.

"So… that was incredibly weird…." Kurt managed to spit out while his head spun along with his heart, making him feel like a teenage boy again.

"Yah… uh…" Blaines head turned towards Kurt, though his eyes looked down towards the ground in what looked like shame. "... sorry. I dont know what the hell just happened there."

"With Kitty, you really never know - and its best not to try and figure her out either. Your brain will end up hurting too much."

That got a weak chuckle out of Blaine, and then his hand came up to rub the base of his neck, "Im getting that…"

"So…. gay huh?" Kurts mouth went to work before his mind even had time to filter the question.

"Yes… but…" Blaines brow wrinkled as he then looked up in confusion at Kurt with pools of honey eyes. "... I thought you knew."

Kurts own brows lifted and he shook his head slowly, "No. Not a clue before now."

"Oh… well… I just thought you were homophobic…."

"What?!" Kurts head shake went from slow to quick. "Not even…. Blaine… what the hell gave you that idea?"

Blaine gave the back of his neck another rub and looked towards Kurt with guilt drowning his features, "You didnt seem real pleased about that Karofsky guy being gay… and you wouldnt come near me when I was staying with you…."

Kurts eyes rolled up, on both accounts. "Oh god Blaine… I dont care about Karofskys sexuality. I just dont like the guy as a general rule - straight or gay…. and I didnt come near you because you were sick. I didnt want to catch it."

"Oh…."

"Good grief… of all the people to think of as homophobic you thought I was… really?"

Blaine let out a small giggle and nodded, "Well… I mean…"

"Fuck Blaine, Im gay too. How do you think I knew Karofsky was gay?"

"Oh."

Blaines face was priceless as it went from awkwardly guilty to genuinely surprised, his eyes looking Kurt up and down as if he truly didnt believe it.

It was honestly the first time Kurt ever had someone surprised to discover he was gay, so he allowed himself to appreciate the novelty, a small grin tugging up the corners of his lips. Blaine eventually seemed to realize he was gawking and locked his eyes back onto Kurts face.

"Well I kind of feel like an ass now."

Kurt laughed at that too and gave his head a small shake, dismissing the self degrading comment Blaine bestowed upon himself.

"Dont worry about it. Though I wish I could say its a common mistake."

"Everyone else knows?"

Kurt just nodded at that. How Blaine couldnt figure it out was beyond him. Generally the voice was a giveaway - though he imagined that how he was when he was younger would have predisposed him to more stereotypes - fashionable, flippant, and fastidious about shopping. Those who knew him then would have had no problem assuming his sexuality.

"Huh."

"You really thought I was a homophobe Blaine? Really?"

Blaine nodded meekly, guilty smile on his face. "Sorry. You have this whole tough guy thing going on and youve always seemed uncomfortable when I wanted to move in beside you so I thought…."

"For the record, Im uncomfortable with everyone."

"Noted. Even if I dont understand why."

Silence floated between them after that until Blaine made another awkward chuckle and excused himself.

"I should… ah… get back to Trent. Hes probably wondering…"

"Yeah." Kurt quickly agreed, "Say hello for me."

Kurt walked back home then, perhaps a little too quick on his feet. For the second time that day he felt the need to escape. Escape what though was the question in his mind. Perhaps it was just the awkwardness of that whole situation or that, for once, Kurt had been very wrong about something. Worse yet, he had been outsmarted by Kitty on the matter.

No. He hadnt been outsmarted. He had been used for her amusement. She must have known the truth from Trent and then used it against Kurt for her own merriment. She probably enjoyed seeing him writhe in discomfort at the scene and then probably listened into the embarrassment that followed. Any woman who spent so much time with Karofsky voluntarily had to be at least a little vindictive, and given how bitchy Kitty was regularly, she more than just a little vindictive.

He seethed as he ate his meal, picking it up with harsh jabs of his fingers and chewing as if he were gnawing on Kittys head. What an absolute bitch. What Trent saw in her was a mystery, but it was no shock that she was so close with Karofsky after a scene like that.

Thankfully he had a new book borrowed from the makeshift library to occupy his mind for the remainder of the evening, which he was lost in until a light rapping came from outside his door.

"Who is it?"

Did he really have to ask the question he wondered to himself, only one person visited him.

"Blaine."

"Come in."

Kurt set his book to the side and watched as Blaine came in, teeth chattering and shivering slightly as he cursed the cold.

"Get used to it."

Shivering yet, Blaine nodded and knelt by the fire, warming himself before pulling a phone out of his pocket and handing it to Kurt. "Here. Your favourite."

"How did you know this one was my favourite." Kurt asked as he took the phone, one with a distinctive green case that was indeed his favourite of Blaines as it had a medley of Broadway showtunes on it. Something he would have never admitted liking more than all the others lest it make him appear more gay than he had already presumed Blaine had known prior to their run in earlier that evening.

"Battery on it is always completely drained when you return that one and even though you try to make it seem like you like them all equally, your hand and eyes always hover over that one when you pick your music out for yourself." Blaine said with a simple shrug, as if anyone could have seen that.

Kurt fingered the phone gently. If it was possible to love an inanimate object, it was certainly true of him and that phone. He had even muffled his humming one night with a shirt when he knew he would have been heard by Blaine carrying a tune along with the music on that phone. He had tried to not be obvious about his preference, but Blaine had seen through it.

"So… the dance coming up. Those fun?" Blaine piped up, trying to make conversation as Kurt just looked over the phone in his hand.

"Dont know. I dont go."

"Really?"

Kurt just nodded. He didnt see the appeal. All that ever happened, according to what he overheard the next day, was that people got drunk off homemade alcohol and ground against one another to poorly played live music. He didnt drink, he didnt have anyone to grind with, and he certainly wasnt going to stand poorly done music - especially when he now had Blaines phones.

"Well… maybe you could come to this one?"

Kurt shook his head and smirked, "No - and neither are you for that matter. In case youve forgotten, we leave for a scavenging trip tomorrow and wont be back in time for that dance."

"Oh…" Blaine said, eyes glancing over the fire, "... right. I didnt think wed be gone that long."

"Were hitting up a small town further away. A day of travel at least each way."

"Id better make sure Trent knows…."

"You and him both need warmer clothing for the winter."

Blaine nodded, looking down at his threadbare clothes, the only pair he had left after his bout with the flu. Kurt just hoped he tried to wash them now and then, and was glad Blaine never took off his shoes around him because he imagined his socks stunk to high hell.

"You know how to ride a horse?"

Again Blaine nodded, smirking a little as he admitted, "I was a polo champion before The Tides."

Kurt let out a low whistle at that. "Parents in New York, brother in California, was going into a boarding school, and a polo champ? How loaded were you before?"

"My parents did alright." Was Blaines humble answer, though from the slight glint in his eyes Kurt picked up on as he said it, he knew that Blaine came from good money.

Not that it mattered anymore. Money didnt do Blaine any good when he couldnt buy new socks or clothing anymore.

"So…. you going to hog my fire all night or are you going to get yourself to your place and to bed?"

Blaine blinked and then bolted up to stand. "Sorry."

Kurt shrugged, setting down the phone after pressing the buttons needed to play the music and then picking up his book. "Good night."

"Night Kurt."

Blaine left hurriedly and once he was gone, Kurt had to reread the page he had just finished just to remember what had happened when he left off. After finishing the chapter, he gave up on trying to remain focused on both the music and the book, letting the music win as he put the book down again and curled up in his pelt bed to sleep.

The next day was the usual routine, save for the preparation for leaving in the afternoon. Aside from ensuring his backpack was still sturdy enough to hold anything hed find, Kurt didnt have to take care of any of the preparation. He was already well stocked on arrows, which he made himself in his spare time, and he had triple checked his bow to ensure there were no weak spots.

The highlight of his day had to be young Beth running away from Noah and to him to give him a hug. Having the youngster suddenly attached to his side with his arms wrapped securely around him gave him a jolt of surprise, which seemed to melt his heart rapidly. Ignoring the onlookers, he knelt down, though only a little because Beth was tall for her age, and hugged her back.

"Hey. Thanks. Whats this for?"

As she pulled back, she beamed at him, "Just cause."

"Well thats the best reason." He said with a smile returned to her and stood back up.

"Have a good day Mr. Hummel!" She said, waving back to him as she ran back to her father, who looked both proud and confused at once as he took his daughter by the hand and spoke quietly to her.

"I will now…." He murmured to himself, watching the little girl leave with her dad. Flashes of dreams hed had where hed been a father flitted through his mind and he had to take a sharp intake of breath to draw himself back to the present.

Being a father was hardly an option for him anymore. Gay men were only just being accepted as viable parents when The Tides happened and now the concepts of surrogacy and adoption was as dated as the French Revolution or the Civil War. He wasnt going to be a dad and that was final.

He was interrupted a second time on his way back to his hut to smother his coals so his home didnt burn down while he was away. It was Karofsky of all people.

"Kurt, can I talk to you?"

"What is it Karofsky?" Kurt said, ice settling over him as he prepared to speak with the brute as quickly as he could manage.

"Davids fine you know… theres no other Davids in town…." Karofsky wrung his hands and glanced down to the ground, evading Kurts frigid glare.

"Fine. What is it David?"

"Well… I was just wondering…. if youd like to go to the dance with me?"

He spoke the last part so hurriedly that Kurt had to take a second to ensure what he was actually hearing was real. Even so, he had to make sure.

"Come again?"

"Would you be my date for the dance?"

Kurts mouth went dry and he just stared at Karofsky, who was doing his best to avoid Kurts eyes, looking everywhere but them while he continued to fidget with his hands.

"Im going on the scavenging trip today."

"Oh… Im sorry… I didnt know…."

Kurts brow was furrowed and his eyes jumped around to ensure this wasnt just some odd prank. He had to make sure no one was snooping in on them, ready to jump out and laugh at him. No one was around them though, and Karofskys voice was full of honest-to-God sincerity. Kurt didnt know how to handle it.

"Why are you asking me something like that anyhow Karofsky?"

"David…"

"Fine. David. Why did you ask me?"

"I think I love you."

The ice in Kurts heart just cracked a little and he took a step back, now double checking to make sure they were the only ones there.

"You THINK you love me?"

Karofsky looked up then, so obviously nervous as his eyes tentatively met Kurts and his lower lip was pulled into his mouth for an anxious nibble before he replied.

"I dont know for sure because you always have this wall up so Im not even sure if what I love is really you or the front you put up… but I have… for awhile…"

"Oh for…." Kurts arms swung out to either side, "Have you maybe considered that what you love is the idea of another gay guy in the community and youre tired of taking care of your own needs?"

Karofsky shook his head at that, "No… and thats not it… but even if it was - do you really want to spend the rest of your life alone Kurt?"

"I would rather spend my life alone than hook up with the guy who led an attack on me after he forced me into kissing me… yes."

Kurt could see the colour change in Karofskys eyes as he said that, and he wasnt sure if talking so candidly was a mistake or not, but he didnt regret it. Karofskys eyes went from darkened to lighter as his pupils contracted along with his fists - now at each side of him.

"That was YEARS ago Kurt… and I apologized… and Id apologize again and again if you wanted. Why cant you let it go? I hate myself for doing that to you! You have no idea how much I regret it… but what makes it worse is that no matter how hard I try to be a decent person now, Ill never seem to earn your forgiveness."

"You cant expect me to just forget - "

"Im not expecting you to forget it Kurt. Im hoping youll forgive me for it one day."

Kurt sighed and crossed his arms over his chest, "And then what? Shack up with you and live happily ever after?"

Karofskys eyes darkened again and his hands relaxed at his sides as Kurt said it and he nodded, "Or just live… it doesnt have to be happily ever after, but I dont want to just survive anymore. I want to live."

"I was being sarcastic David. Its not going to happen."

"Why? Why cant it happen?!" David became angry against just as he had so quickly mellowed out a moment before. "Is it that new guy? Are you screwing him?"

Kurt rolled his eyes, "No. I am not doing anything with him David. The issue is not him."

"So its because you cant get over something that happened years ago…."

"Im sure I could get over it David, I just dont see the need to."

"Because you could be happy!"

Happy. Was Kurt happy? He wasnt sure, and as he asked himself the question, not knowing if he was happy cemented for him that he probably wasnt. Even so, the idea of Karofsky making him happy was laughable.

"Im going to ask you again you know." David said, breaking Kurt out of his thoughts, "Every time theres a dance… or special event, Im going to ask you until you say yes."

"Then youd better prepare for a lifetime of disappointment David."

The larger man sighed and looked to the ground, and Kurt took that as his cue to leave. He had wasted enough time on David Karofsky - he wasnt going to spend a moment more on him, especially if it meant delaying getting out of this town. Suddenly the scavenging mission seemed like a way to escape and if there was one thing Kurt always seemed to want to do, it was escape.

When he got back to his shack, he was met by Blaine.

"Hey… ah… what should I do to prepare?"

Kurt smiled and showed him how to smother his coals and tie up the entrance so animals couldnt sneak in. As the pair of them got them empty packs and headed towards town again, one of the local wild dogs came up and Blaine immediately knelt to the ground and started scratching behind the ears of what was some kind of black lab mixed with something else.

"Friend of yours?" Kurt asked with a hint of amusement as he watched Blaine happily accept big licks over his face from the friendly mongrol.

Blaine laughed and stood up, patting the dog on the head, "I guess. Hes shown up everyday for the past couple weeks. Friendly guy too."

"Girl Blaine. She doesnt have the necessary parts to be a male dog."

"Oh." Blaine peeked down at the dogs lower appendages and nodded confirmation, "Must have missed that."

"Youre not sharing your food with her are you? If you do shell never leave you be and itll be one more mouth to feed…."

Blaine shook his head, saying his goodbyes to the dog who trotted off as if she had important business of her own to attend to. "Shes just friendly."

"Maybe she wants to stay in your shelter for the warmth…"

"Maybe she just wants a friend."

Kurt shrugged. His whole adult life had been about trades and exchanges, debts and repayments. It was about making sure he did his part so no one could accuse him of not contributing. If Kurt knew one thing, it was that there was a price for everything, and Blaine was getting duped by a dog for something.

"You never had a dog growing up?"

Kurt shook his head, "My mom was allergic to pet hair."

"Too bad. Dogs are great. Always happy to see you, willing to play when you are, great for cuddling."

"Shed hair everywhere, eat your food, constantly want your attention…."

"And yet you put up with me." Blaine said with a smug smirk directed over at Kurt.

Well he had a point. Kurt chuckled and nodded, "Yes. I do. Although I dont need to let you out to go to the bathroom."

"You did when I was sick… sorry about that by the way."

"Youve apologized enough for that. Dont worry about it. Im repressing the memory anyhow."

"Thank goodness. That was definitely not my finest hour."

"More like not your finest week."

The conversation continued well into town where Kurt waited outside of the clinic while Blaine said farewell to Trent and then they went to the organizational office where Mercedes already had several horses hitched up with saddlebags filled with rations and water bottles for them.

Waiting there for them was Santana, who, along with Kurt, went on almost all the scavenging missions, Sam, who at some point had signed up to be a guard in what the rumour mill suggested was a way to impress Mercedes, and Quinn.

"I would ask whos taking point but…" Quinn started and then looked over at Kurt, who only smirked in response as he pulled himself up onto a brown stallion.

"Come on then. Lets get as far as we can before our horses need to rest." Kurt announced once he was up top and everyone else was still climbing onto their own horses - Blaine noticeably going the extra mile and giving his horse pets and whispers in the ear.

They travelled along with the sun as it set - to the west, and then turned south along an old gravel road until the horses slowed and they set up camp for the night - having a meal of jerky and jam on bread before napping for a few hours and then making their way out again.

True to his history, Kurt took the lead for most of the trip. Blaine and Sam seemed to be getting along quite well and every time Kurt waited up for the group, the pair were talking and laughing about a variety of things. It was good for Blaine to make other friends, Kurt said to himself, though he couldnt help but feel a small twinge of jealously about it given that Blaine was the closest thing he had to a true friend and he didnt want to share if he could help it.

When Kurt didnt lead, he joined the conversations with Sam and Blaine. He laughed where it was appropriate, even though Sams impressions of old actors were mediocre at best and the pairs reenactments of old movie scenes were awkward and forced. Kurt at least knew most of what they were trying to do, even when Quinn looked ready to kill them for the noise they were making.

"Honestly, Im surprised Kurt hasnt threatened you boys yet!"

Sam and Blaine both looked to him then and Kurt gave them a small, nonchalant shrug, "Im trying to loosen up a little."

And while Quinn cursed under her breath about having to take on the role of bitch since Kurt wasnt going to step up to it, Kurt realized that he meant what he had said. Karofsky was right about one thing - he needed to stop surviving and start living.