“He wept, and it felt as if the tears were cleansing him, as if his body needed to empty itself.” - Lois Lowry, Messenger

Kurt watched as Blaine blew warm air into the pocket between his hands.  They were out on a scavenging run and Blaine had made the mistake earlier of saying it was a nice day.  Now they were all huddled inside a house together trying to stay warm while Noah set up a fire.  

“Ahh… don't anyone use that upstairs toilet.  I left my mark there!” Santana said triumphantly as she joined the ground again, descending the staircase.

Noses were wrinkled up and brows arched.  Blaine looked over at Kurt in question and Kurt just shook his head.

Santana could be vile, and it was best to leave it at that.

“Got it!” Noah yelled as a flame burst up several feet away in the fireplace.  Everyone moved in and let the heat fall over them.  Kurt shut his eyes and let himself bask until he was heated back up and then stood up.  “I'll go collect blankets so we can all sleep here tonight.”

Finding blankets wasn't actually that hard.  It was finding blankets that hadn't been overtaken by bedbugs or used by wild animals that was more difficult.  Thankfully, the owners of this particular home had a linen closet with a good supply of blankets and sheets that had been hidden away and still even smelled a little bit like laundry detergent.  He even found a stash of pillows in the closet - a special treat for the night.

“So all I'm saying curls… is that you spend a night with my girl and then her and I can have ourselves a kid.  It's not like it would be too hard on your part… well it would, but that's kind of the point…”

Kurt walked in, eyebrows raising sky high as he heard Santana's words and then saw Blaine, looking absolutely aghast and trying to seek out an escape route.

“Honestly Santana?”

She turned her head towards Kurt, “Well, yeah.  He's leaving anyhow so it wouldn't make things all awkward if he daddied a baby for Brit and I.”

“Ugh.  Leave him alone…”  Kurt grunted, handing out the blankets to Sam and Noah, who both seemed rather entertained by the conversation they had been witnessing, and then to Blaine and Santana.  

“Yah… as enticing Brittany is, I'm sure, to most people….” Blaine started, trying to find the right words to let Santana down.

“You're queerer than a three dollar bill.  I know.  All the more reason to do it.  Spread your seed!”

Kurt winced a little.  He wasn't sure how many other people knew about Blaine's sexuality, but the lack of surprise on Sam and Noah's faces suggested they knew and didn't care.

“I'm sure you'll find someone.”  Blaine said, shutting her down finally.  He looked over to Kurt then, thanking him for the blanket and pillow which all of them had begun to spread out.  

“Any of your birdie friends have quality seed?”

That made Blaine cough a little, look to Kurt for support, getting only a shrug, and then looked back at Santana, “Frankly… I, well I can't speak for all of them, and I wouldn't suggest the one I could speak for.”

“Hmm… Bet a Wolf Pack member would have been all over it.” Santana tutted as she stripped down to her thermalwear and climbed into her makeshift bed.

“She scares me.” Blaine whispered over to Kurt as Kurt slid into his own bed, right beside Blaine's.

“She should.”  Kurt whispered back and winked with a smile.

He had allowed Noah to stand watch, much to Noah's surprise.  As the winter bore on, Kurt found that sleep, when it was peaceful, was actually quite enjoyable.  He guessed he had Blaine to thank for that, though he'd never say so out loud.

Kurt was woken up a few hours later by Noah, not even realizing he'd fallen asleep and grumbled acknowledgement.  It was his turn on shift.  He went to sit up and found that Blaine, in that few hours, had managed to sneak up alongside him and had an arm held over Kurt.

An arm which was unceremonious lifted off him and dumped back onto the scrunched up mess of Blaine's bed, causing the curly headed man to whine softly in his sleep, his eyes crinkling up in unconscious disapproval.

“Ain't he just a ball of adorable.” Noah said overhead and Kurt turned to look up at him.

“Got something to say to me Puckerman?”

Hands were held high and Noah backed up a step, “What?!  No man… just making observations.  Going to sleep now alright?”

Kurt gave him a short nod and shuffled out of his bed, slipping his outerwear back on, slinging his arrow pack on over his back and grabbing his bow as he sat himself in front of the window, spending the next few hours listening to the symphony of snoring and wheezing coming from the floor of the room they were in until they each woke up, had their breakfast, and braved the aftermath of the blizzard from the night before.

House to house they went, collecting as per usual until there wasn't enough space left for them to carry anything back with.  Trent had requested more fiction books for the library, complaining that there was too many how-to books and medical books and not enough to entice creative minds.  Micheal, as always, requested any antibiotics and medication they could come across.  Kitty wanted herbs and spices from the kitchens they ransacked, and Rachel had complained that the students were woefully short on crayons.  

“Found that mesophilic culture shit you were looking for Blaine!” Santana called out in one house, causing Blaine to run over.

Kurt looked down at his own list, not seeing mesophilic culture on it anywhere.  Either that was something Blaine was personally after or it was a favour to someone.  In any case, Kurt didn't even know offhand what mesophilic culture was.

“Graham crackers!” Santana called to Blaine at another home, and again he ran over.

“Planning to make something?” Kurt asked when they were walking again.

Blaine blinked a few times, “Well… not me… Brittany actually.  A secret.”

“Ah… for Santana.  Gotcha.  Clever getting Santana to help with her own surprise.” Kurt mused.

Blaine chuckled softly and just nodded.  

They didn't get back to the forest where they had left the forest until close to nightfall, and then just opted to leave for the village that night as no one wanted to stay overnight in the frozen outdoors any longer than they had to.

By the time they got in the next morning, Kurt barely made it to his hut before he passed out.  He had clearly grown too used to getting a regular nights sleep.

When he woke up this time, he discovered he had been covered in puppies - several of which were licking his face raw.

“Augh…”  He covered his face up and sat up, causing the puppies to roll down the bed a bit where they began to play with one another as if nothing had interrupted them.  From the end of the bed, Pudding looked at Kurt and wagged her tail against the bed.  Blaine, the jerk, was no where in sight.

“So apparently I'm dog sitting.”  Kurt grumbled as he wiped the sleep from his eyes.

Despite being outwardly grouchy about it, Kurt knew he only had so many days left with the pups.  They were weaned and ready to go to their new homes.  All that was left was for Blaine to give the okay to their new owners to come and get them.  He spent the morning playing with them, mostly wrestling with his hands - they needed to be warriors he decided.

When Blaine returned, he was carrying a phone, one that Kurt knew didn't have any music on it and handed it over to Kurt.

“For you to record yourself singing for me.”

Kurt arched his brows up as he looked at the device in his hand.  He had forgotten all about Blaine's request for a song, but he did seem to recall not agreeing, though he didn't say no either.  

“I don't know if your ears can stand the torture…”

Blaine chuckled and sat on the edge of Kurt's bed, scooping up the closest puppy and nuzzling his face into the baby-fine fur with an appreciative hum.  “Your voice is far from torture.  Please?”

Kurt sighed and set the phone to his side.  “Do I have to do it right now?”

“No… just… before I go?  Please?”

Kurt nodded.  He had no idea what he would sing, but he was sure he could think up something - even if it was itsy bitsy spider just to appease Blaine.  He had lots of time to figure it out anyhow.

Except, as soon as he thought that, the days seemed to go faster and faster.  The pups were adopted out, leaving Blaine and Kurt to share Pudding, who seemed happy to be the only dog around to get attention.  The first little buds appeared on the deciduous trees in the area, even though snow still lined the ground, and people were already talking about Easter celebrations.

Blaine was still awful at archery, but at least now he could at least hit a tree.  Trent was walking without any help, though would forever have a very noticeable limp, and Kurt… well Kurt's heart ached every time he saw a new sign of spring forcing its way into his sight.  

It was when Kurt saw the snow begin to melt that he grabbed the phone Blaine had given him and hid himself away in his hut.  For an hour he stared at the phone, trying to figure out what to sing.  He didn't want to sing anything that was already on one of the other phones.  Kurt wanted something that couldn't be compared to what Blaine already had.

There was only one choice.

He pressed the buttons Blaine had shown him and then took in a shaky breath when he saw the red button flashing to tell him he was being recorded.

“There's a song… a song my mom used to sing to me when I was growing up… It's the only reason I think I remember her voice even now because when I hear that song in my head, it's her voice that's singing it.  When she died, I used to sing myself to sleep with it… and when my dad died… I sung it for the last time… anyhow…”

He had to swallow back his tears then.  He knew the song by heart, even though he hadn't sung it for years.  With a shuddering breath, he began.

Oh yeah, Ill tell you something
I think youll understand
When Ill say that something
I wanna hold your hand
I wanna hold your hand
I wanna hold your hand

Oh please, say to me
Youll let me be your man
And please, say to me
Youll let me hold your hand
Ill let me hold your hand
I wanna hold your hand

And when I touch you I feel happy
Inside
Its such a feeling that my love
I cant hide
I cant hide
I cant hide

Yeah, youve got that something
I think youll understand
When Ill say that something
I wanna hold your hand
I wanna hold your hand
I wanna hold your hand

And when I touch you I feel happy
Inside
Its such a feeling that my love
I cant hide
I cant hide
I cant hide

Yeah, youve got that something
I think youll understand
When Ill feel that something
I wanna hold your hand
I wanna hold your hand
I wanna hold your hand
I wanna hold your hand

Kurt hit the button again once he was done and began sobbing softly.  It was the first time he had cried openly since… since he didn't even know when.  On one hand it brought back all the memories of his mother and father back to the forefront of his mind.  On the other hand, it was exactly the right song to sing.  He certainly didn't know how to tell Blaine how he felt, and wasn't willing to have that type of conversation with him, but he could at least sing it and let the other man read between the lines.

Once he had calmed himself, Kurt dropped the phone off to Blaine's home, setting it on the bed.  Blaine was out - probably helping with one of the story times in the library that had become quite popular among the children there.  Blaine was phenomenal at doing different voices and even acted out some of the scenes as he read them.  The kids loved it.

Sometimes Kurt would sneak in to watch him under the pretense of building more shelves for future book use.  It didn't matter whether Blaine was reading a book about pirates or princesses - he was always animated and always put a smile on all the kids faces.

Who was Kurt kidding?  Hiding his face away from the crowd, he would be smiling too.

“Kurt..?”

Lost in his daydreams, Kurt had spent the rest of the afternoon shooting up into the tree's, knocking down pinecones.  Rachel wanted some for some kind of craft she was going to do with the kids, and while it would have been easier and more efficient to just shake the tree and let them fall, it was more therapeutic to just shoot them down.

“What is it Blaine?” Kurt responded, targeting his next pinecone.

“I got… well… I listened to….”

Kurt didn't dare look at him.  He didn't want to see the disappointment or the humor Blaine must have felt.  He was the one who asked for a song after all.  Kurt wasn't going to give it another try in the hopes it would somehow be better.

“It was beautiful Kurt… Thank you.”

The arrow swished through the air and the only indication that it hit its target was a rustle and then a small thump on the ground where the pinecone landed.  

“Won't be long until your Warblers come back for you.  I'll bet they're already on their way.”  Kurt lined up another shot.

Slushy snow slopped behind him as Blaine came up beside him and set a hand on his shoulder. Months ago he would have flinched.  Now the gesture seemed as normal as anything.  “They probably are.”

“You can get back to your life and….”  Another arrow escaped and a snap and shudder from the tree marked another success. “... forget about our quaint little place away from all the excitement you're used to.”

“Hmm…”  Blaine's eyes followed the next arrow Kurt aimed.  “... what about you?  Will you go back to Karofsky?”

“What?!” Kurt's arrow left the bow, but this time all that followed was a crunch as it hit some bushes as Kurt turned to look at Blaine incredulously.  “What on earth are you talking about?”

Blaine, for his part, looked surprised that Kurt would respond that way.  “I've overheard you… talk to him a couple times… I've seen him leave gifts… it's like he's trying to win you back.”

Kurt involuntarily made a small retching sound and shook his head, “I have never, ever, been with anyone else Blaine.”

“But, you must have had other lovers… other…”

“I've been with one man Blaine.”  Kurt looked away and pulled the last arrow from his pack.

“So… yah… me and that one other man…”

“Check your math Blaine.  One means only one.”

Blaine was quiet then, the realization coming over him as Kurt took his final shot and then slipped his bow over his back as he went to collect the dropped pinecones and toss them into the now empty pack.

“You mean I….?” Blaine's voice was accented by a tremor as he posed the question, locked in the same place Kurt had been shooting from.

“Yes.”

“And I….”

“Just yes Blaine.”  Kurt looked back at his pallid face, eyes gone wide with shock, “It's not like there's a gay bar out here I can check out - and Karofsky has, and always will be, a definite no in my life.”

“But I was horrible Kurt… I didn't know…. and…”

Kurt rolled his eyes, “Blaine, don't worry about it.  I'm not some silly romantic like I was as a kid.  I didn't have any expectations.  Hell, I'm surprised it's happened for me at all.  And you've been more than alright since that first time, so don't worry about it.”

Blaine meekly nodded, then managed to squeak out, “I'm going to go… check the radio… it's almost the time of day they said they'd be transmitting at when they got back….”

Kurt just nodded and continued gathering the pinecones, filling up his pack as much as he could and then making the delivery to the school.  The front of the schoolhouse already had the snow melted, exposing the swampy frozen bits of grass underneath.  He kicked at that bit of grass, angry at it for existing, angry that it dared to show.

Angry at himself for falling for Blaine when all throughout the winter he had told himself not to.

“Hey Kurt!”  Mercedes sing-song voice called out after him when he was on his way back.  She asked him to complete a few chores around town that only she trusted him with.  Of course, when it came to Mercedes, a few chores was more like a full page list.  

Coyotes had been spotted around the herds and she wanted some snares and traps put in place to protect the livestock.

There was a tractor she wanted him to look at to prepare for spring planting.

She wanted him to help show some new workers how to stitch saddle leather together properly.

His opinion was needed on the placement of a new watchtower.

And the list went on.

Over the next few days, Kurt helped Mercedes with the list inbetween hunting and patrolling.  Blaine seemed to keep his distance, clearly put off by the fact that Kurt was just a lowly virgin when he had met him.  At least, that's what Kurt assumed.

“They're… they're here.”

Kurt looked up from petting Pudding, forcing his eyes as best they could not to betray any emotion.

“You go tomorrow then?”

Blaine nodded. “Can I… Can I ask you to spend the evening with me?  Please?”

Kurt stood up, “I have some things I need to finish for Mercedes and -”

“Please Kurt.”

“Alright.”

Blaine beamed and left him alone then, skipping off to do god knew what and leaving Kurt to wonder first of all when evening began in Blaine's mind and if he was expecting anything of Kurt.

So Kurt stepped out into a place he hadn't in months, just yards away from his hut, and dug into the still frozen dirt with every ounce of strength he had in him.  What took a few minutes in the fall, took him nearly an hour in the thaw of spring, but he managed to find what he was looking for.

The can of peaches.

With the sun on the horizon, he decided to go over to Blaine's lest he lose his nerve.  There were only so many hours left of him after all, before….

Kurt couldn't even think it.

The door opened and Blaine beamed, sending Pudding outside and opening the door fully for Kurt.

“Is that…?”

“The peaches you gave me… yeah… I thought it would make a nice treat.”

Blaine just grinned, and as Kurt set the can down, he noticed the fire was burning exceptionally hot and there were pots and kettles all around it, all with water in various states of boiling.  Glancing further around, he saw that Blaine had been busy.  Where he normally had the cargo bins sitting, was now an open pit in the ground that he most certainly would have had to been working on for awhile to get that big.  Certainly longer than just the afternoon.  It was lined with an old tarp and halfway full of steaming water.

“What… is that…?”

“For you.”  Blaine said, taking a bubbling pot and dumping it in with the rest of the water.  “You never did get hypothermia this winter but I thought you deserved a hot bath anyhow.”

“But….”  Kurt's eyes went round as he stared at the makeshift tub.  He couldn't come up with any arguments as to why he shouldn't take advantage of the gesture and Blaine was looking at him so earnestly.  With a shrug of his shoulders, he let his coat drop to the ground and then peeled out of his clothes and thermal layers before dipping a toe into the water.

It was delightly hot.

“I had to borrow pots and kettles from everyone I knew so you'd better enjoy it.”

He slipped one foot in, and then the next, before sitting himself down into the small spot and letting his porcelain skin turn rose.  Steam drifted all around his upper body and face, and before he realized Blaine was there, a small pitcher was dunked in the water and poured gently over his hair and down the back of his neck.

“Oh… dear….. god…. this is amazing.”

“Here…”  Blaine pressed a couple small bottles into Kurt's hands.  Hotel sized portions of shampoo and conditioner he must have found or traded for.

As Kurt scrubbed his hair, and ignored the layer of film that had built up on the top layer of the water caused by the filth he wasn't able to sponge off with his daily washings, Blaine periodically poured another pot or kettle full of water into the tub, allowing the water level to rise until Kurt was submerged to his armpits.

“I'm never going to want to come out of here.”  Kurt murmured, setting his freshly cleaned mop of hair back against the crinkled tarp edge.

“You smell like cinnamon….”  

“You picked good stuff.”

“Well I'm not a total hobo.”

They laughed and Kurt squirmed back a little, “You know, you'd probably fit in my lap in here.”

“The bath's for you Kurt.  Besides, I have to go grab something else.” Blaine said as he pulled his own coat on and slipped out the door, leaving Kurt to relax for a few solitary minutes, intending to appreciate this tub until all the water had gone cold.  

Blaine shuffled back into, teeth chattering as he complained about a strong wind outside and set down a casserole dish.  Kurt looked at it curiously, but let Blaine take off his own coat before asking.

“What's that?”

“This… is a long overdue promise.”

The lid of the dish was removed and the dish tilted so that Kurt could see inside.

“Is… that…?”

“Cheesecake…. at least Brittany tells me it is.  I got all the ingredients she told me I needed for her to make it.”

Kurt splashed the water over the edge of the tub as he slid himself forward and towards Blaine, “Really?”

Honey eyes twinkled towards Kurt.  “Really really.”

A piece was dished up, and, as an afterthought, Blaine buffed open the lid of the peaches with a flat stone by the fire and set a few of the pieces alongside the cheesecake before handing it to Kurt.  “Enjoy.”

Kurt held the plate in his hands, just staring at the cake for a moment as he pulled his lower lips into his mouth by his top teeth.  His mind chanting over and over that he was in a hot bath and he had cheesecake in his hands.  It was surreal.

“Is… is something wrong with it?”

Kurt shook his head slowly, “No.  No.  Everything is perfect.”  He looked up, “Thank you.”

Those honey eyes said ‘You're Welcome' well before Blaine vocalized it and Kurt settled back in his tub and gingerly slid his fork through the cheesecake and lifted a piece to his mouth while Blaine watched with baited breath for his reaction once the piece made it's way into Kurt's mouth.

“Ooo…”  Kurt moaned, licking off his lips for any bits that might have caught on them, “.... I can die happy now.”

Blaine clapped his hands together and laughed in victory before taking a bite of his own piece.  More moans of appreciation were exchanged and both of them took their time in eating the treat that Kurt knew he likely wouldn't get again for a long time, if ever.

When he had finished off his piece, and made sure the plate was clean of crumbs, he set the plate on the edge of the little tub and sat back again in the water.  “So… hot tub… cheesecake… what's next?  You going to bring my father back from the dead?”

It sounded funnier in his head.

Blaine frowned and shook his head, kneeling down by the tub, “No.  But I was kind of hoping you'd stay the night…”

Kurt's heart sped up and he glanced to the bed.  He had been so good at avoiding staying longer than necessary there.  He didn't want to get attached.  He couldn't.

It was the last night he would ever see Blaine.

“Alright.”

He half expected Blaine to clap and do another little victory cheer, but all that he got was a happy smile as Blaine took the empty plates and set them to the side.  More water was poured into the tub to keep the temperature warm and Kurt let himself enjoy it.  Even when he took over this cabin, he knew he wouldn't be able to justify using up this much water on…

His head shot up, “How'd you get all this water?!”

Blaine looked over, nonplussed, “I've been saving it.”

“Saving it?”

Blaine nodded, “Since I got the idea a couple months ago….”

“From your own…?”

Blaine nodded once more.

Kurt groaned and relaxed back again, looking up at the ceiling, “You shouldn't have wasted all that water on me… you need that to survive…”

“I'm fine.”  Blaine insisted.  “I've gotten by on less daily for years than what you ration here.  Besides… I wanted to make you happy.”

You have.

But Kurt doesn't say that.  He stays quiet and simmers in the tub until he's beyond wrinkled and he's sure the bath has gotten rid of dirt that has been embedded in him for years.  When he climbs out, Blaine is ready with a big fluffy towel that he's pulled out from one of his bags.

The night has just been full of too good to be true surprises.  The towel is the latest icing on the cake.  No one just had big fluffy towels anymore, certainly not ones that don't have that crunchy dried out feeling from air drying.

“Where'd you get this?” Kurt asked as he wound the towel around himself, sighing happily with the feel of soft cotton against his clean skin.

“On one of our runs.  It was all I could fit in my bag.”

“And you saved it until now?!”  Kurt gently rubbed the towel against him, marvelling at how well a nice towel actually picked up the beads of water on his skin.  

“I honestly didn't know what I was saving it for until I saw you come out of the water just now.” Blaine admitted sheepishly.

“You're a marvel Blaine.” Kurt admitted then, sitting back on the mattress and pulling the towel up to rub through his hair.  He knew Blaine's eyes would be wandering down to his now naked lower half, but he's been naked in front of Blaine so many times before this point that he didn't care, and, in fact, he was kind of betting on it.

“I'm afraid to touch you now that you're so clean….”

Kurt smirks coyly, letting the towel fall behind him as he glances over at Blaine, now sitting aside him on the bed, with a hand hovering over Kurt's naked thigh.  Kurt was right, Blaine's eyes are locked on his crotch and the sight of a man so clearly interested in him makes his cock bob a little as it becomes interested in turn.

“Then let me.”

Kurt moves fluidly toward Blaine, his body leaning into the other man's.  His hands grab each side of Blaine's coat and push it back, off of Blaine and onto the floor.  Below them, Blaine is kicking off his boots with urgency, making clunking sounds against the floor as he does it, and then uses his toes to peel off his socks.  

By the time Blaine's feet are naked, Kurt has attached their lips.  He hasn't really explored Blaine's mouth in all their time together, remembering how he used to watch and worship Pretty Woman as a child and internalizing that kissing is somehow more important than sex, but Blaine is leaving tomorrow and Kurt doesn't want to regret not taking the time to savour those pink lips as much as he can.

So he does.

It seems to surprise Blaine just a little, how forward Kurt is being, as he submits to being used for his lips while Kurt's hands continue to undress him, button by button, clasp by clasp, sleeves off, pant legs off, until Blaine is just as naked as he is and still avoiding putting his hands on Kurt's skin and instead ghosting them over his arms and down his back but never really touching him.

So Kurt reaches back and forces one of Blaine's hands to his waist, and the other one settles down symmetrically on the other side.  

All this time though, Kurt is letting his lips become swollen and plush as he continues grazing them against Blaine's as he tries to perfect this skill he'll probably never use again.

Now free to touch Kurt, Blaine's hands slide down on either side of him and cup his cheeks, gently massaging them with calloused, rough fingers.  He starts to whisper between pecks, “Do you want -” but is silenced by Kurt pressing down hard until they both need air and the only thing they can do when they separate is make little gasps for breath.

“Just… please Blaine.  Don't talk tonight… not anymore.  Just be with me.” Kurt utters quietly, not quite looking at Blaine when he says it and then drops his head to Blaine's neck where he intends to leave a hickey so that Blaine will know that Kurt was his alone at least for a few days after they part.  In response all Blaine can do is moan deliciously and drop his head back to the pillow, his erection below Kurt rutting weakly upwards against Kurt's stomach as it seeks out the friction it needs.

Kurt takes his time.  They have all night after all, pressing kisses into Blaine's skin wherever it looks untouched.  He leaves a trail of dark purpled skin where his lips hung on just that little bit too long, and as he lifts his head to look at his handiwork, he can't help but grin.  Blaine is a sight to behold on his own - beautiful and exotic, all olive with small curls of hair that are never out of place, and now he's been marked by Kurt, like he belongs to him.

Kurt doesn't stay lingering above Blaine for long though - the call of that beautiful cock too much to ignore.  He drops his head down over his and purposely moans as his mouth engulfs it, knowing now what that vibration feels like.  His moan is echoed in Blaine, whose hips struggle to stay in place and not just jerk upwards to drown himself in Kurt's throat.  

Like his body, Kurt takes it slowly, lavishing Blaine with his tongue and letting it coil around his cock as he bobs his head up and down, sometimes lifting his head off completely so he can just worship the erection solely with his tongue and nothing more.

Blaine's carnal instincts come out after several minutes of this and with a growl he leans down and cups Kurt under his armpits, pulling him up atop him.  In truth, Kurt lets this happen because he could fight it if he wanted to.  He doesn't want to though.  He likes it when Blaine takes some control and makes him feel like something to be desired.  He'd never admit it, but Kurt loves it when Blaine is a little rough with him despite how things began between them.

He's rolled over so Kurt is now below Blaine and Blaine wrenches back so quickly that Kurt just hopes he doesn't give himself whiplash.  He can't think of anything more though soon after that because it's Blaine now going down on him and his mind seems to get completely fuzzy when that happens so he just embraces the trillings of pleasure coursing up and down his body as Blaine continues the bath he just had but only using his tongue on Kurt's cock.

When he hears Blaine unpop the cap off a bottle of lube, his legs spread apart automatically.  A finger glides in and rolls itself in and out of Kurt, bumping back against the nub within him that takes his fuzzy feelings and spreads them down from just his head and all over his body.  Blaine knows him too well by this point and knows exactly how to make him weak.  He can have this done in a matter of minutes if he wanted to, but given how slowly Blaine is working him open, he has the sense that Blaine wants to take his time just as much as Kurt does.

A second finger is added eventually, and fingers stretch and scissor Kurt apart.  Just knowing that it'll be Blaine in there soon makes Kurt moan loudly enough that Pudding starts howling from outside.  If they had been in the throes of a quickie, it might make them both break into laughter, but for now they both ignore it.  

There's a third finger then and the scissoring goes three ways.  By this point Kurt is writhing below Blaine and uttering complete nonsense.  Three fingers and a mouth on your cock is a lot to handle, especially when they all seem to work so expertly.

Kurt hears Blaine murmur as small “Shh…” before he even fully realizes that Blaine has lifted his head off his cock.  He looks down over the span of his body with slitted eyes towards Blaine, coating himself in lubricant and working it up and down the length of his shaft.  He's breathing heavily and slowly, and as the fingers of one hand are pulled out of Kurt, they're replaces with the fingers of Blaine's other hand which guides his cock to Kurt's ready pucker.

When Blaine does push into him, it's a slow stretch.  Blaine has never pushed into him as hard and as fast as he did that first night, always allowing Kurt's body to adjust to the fact that he's definitely longer and wider than the three fingers he uses to prep Kurt so it always feels good.  There's nothing awful or painful about it by the time he's all the way inside of Kurt, just… bliss.

Tonight, instead of clenching his eyes shut and riding out his orgasm, Kurt forces his eyes open as he watches Blaine thrust back and forth into him.  He keeps his hands on Blaine's shoulders and guides him down periodically for sweet kisses.  Both of their foreheads brim with sweat from holding back and Kurt knows he can't stop what's coming as much as he wants to.  He can't delay it anymore.

With one particularly well placed thrust against his prostate, Kurt gasps and cries out.  Still he keeps his eyes locked open, connecting his eyes with Blaine's as he comes, committing this feeling and moment to memory.  

He'll need it on those long, lonely nights.

Blaine comes as Kurt does, holding himself steady inside of Kurt as he orgasms with a throaty groan.  When he collapses atop Kurt, he connects their lips once again, and both of them kiss lazily until they're both boneless and the fact that they're a mess comes into focus.

Clean-up is quiet.  Blaine pours the last of the water into the tub and they both stand up in it, using rags to wash off their bodies and use the last little bit of hotel soap to scrub themselves clean - Blaine in particular who got the majority of Kurt's mess stuck in his chest hair.  The towel is used to dry them both up and, taking Blaine's outstretched hand, Kurt is led back into the bed where Blaine pulls a blanket up over them both.

Sleep comes easily.

At some point in the middle of the night, Kurt does wake.  He is shocked to discover that sleeping with Blaine isn't as terrible as he once thought.  He's warm and snug and feels utterly and completely safe with both of Blaine's arms wrapped around him.  The little hairs that brush against Kurt's chest from Blaine's chest don't irritate him at all anymore and the little snores that Blaine makes are rhythmic and soothing.

Kurt takes some time in the light of the moon to look over Blaine's face as he sleeps.  So peaceful with lashes that fanned out over his cheeks.  Every now and then his lips would quiver and he'd murmur something incomprehensible from his dreams.  At one point Kurt couldn't help but smile as something in Blaine's dreams made his nose wrinkle up and he murmured, “... boots…” with nothing else to suggest what it was that Blaine was seeing in his slumber.

That's when it hit Kurt.

This is exactly where he was supposed to be.  He had been putting off spending the night with Blaine because he somehow knew that this would make it real, make him realize just how much he needed this other man.  How on earth could he go back to living like he had before now that he had experienced this?

He needed to tell Blaine.  To just say one word to him, a question.  That one word could mean the change for Kurt that he needed.  He didn't want to be alone anymore.  He didn't want to hide.  He wanted this, everyday, forever.  

Resolutely, Kurt laid back down, winding his arms around Blaine just as Blaine had down in his sleep with him.  In the morning, Kurt told himself, in the morning I'll ask.  In the morning I'll know.

He's nervous about sleeping then, worried that he'll forget his middle-of-the-night plans or that Blaine will say no, but eventually he does drift off, his face buried in Blaine's chest as he breathes in the other man's soothing musk.  Calmed into a world with no nightmares of Other's ripping him apart and telling him he's nothing.  Instead, there's just peace.

(Created by Marie of freakingpotter.tumblr.com)

He is vaguely aware of a kiss being pressed to his cheek after that, but is still so tired that nothing else registers, until, that is, he stretches a hand out across the bed and a flashing alarm in his head goes off that tells him he's stretching it out over JUST bed and not Blaine.

That's when Kurt bolts up and looks around, hoping that Blaine was just up to piss or start packing up.  But no, everything is gone.  All his bags and bins are gone.  There's nothing.  He's alone and Kurt slept through the whole process like a fool.

The towel is still there though, and Kurt wraps it up around himself as he pushes through the doorway, wincing only for a moment as the glare from the sun overhead hits him in his eyes.  There's no sign of Blaine out there either, and it's mid-morning.

Kurt slept through him leaving.

He collapsed to his knees right there, gasping for air he didn't know he was short on and holding the towel tightly.  Pudding, making her morning appearance, comes over and sits by Kurt, cocking her head to the side as she regards this silly human just sitting on the ground for no apparent reason.

“I wanted to ask him…” Kurt sputters, talking to the dog as he remembers his choice from last night.

“I wanted to tell him….”

“Stay.”