“Kissing is like drinking salted water, you drink and your thirst increases.” - Chinese Proverb

“Tighter…. Blaine!  Tighter!”

The crack of the string sounded, and Blaine's hand fell to his side with an exasperated sigh.  “How do you… it doesn't look that hard when I'm watching…”

Kurt gave his head a shake and pushed himself off of the tree he had been leaning back on as he directed Blaine's bow training.  To say that Blaine was having problems with the skill would have been an understatement.

“Those biceps of yours are deceiving.  Here I thought you'd have no problem pulling back on that string….”  Kurt hummed, taking Blaine's fallen hand in his own and lifting it back up to the string where he needed to pull back.  

“It makes my fingers hurt.”

Kurt smothered a laugh inside his mouth and gave his head another shake.  “Suck it up.  You wanted to learn and I'm teaching you.”

Another sigh escaped from between Blaine's lips, and, under Kurt's guiding hands, Blaine again pulled the string back as taut as he could manage it while Kurt directed him to hold it in place.  They still weren't at the point where Kurt was letting him use (and waste) arrows yet.  

“Hold it….”

“My fingers are numb, my hand is cramped, my whole arm feels like it's been pulled in all directions…”  Blaine complained, a small tremor shaking the bow that originated from him.

“Keep it steady.  We're not going back until you can hold it for at least ten seconds.”

It took several more tries, and Kurt enduring the most whining he had ever heard out of Blaine, but Blaine finally succeeded in the task and as promised, they returned to their cabins.

It had been a warmer day, as warm as it could get towards the end of January in this place anyhow, and with no patrol to work that afternoon, Kurt had spent it trying to train Blaine on the bow.

It had required all the patience he had.

When they returned to the cabins, the first thing Kurt noticed was that Pudding didn't come to greet them, and Blaine picked up on that too because he quickly walked to his cabin and called for her inside, and then back to Kurt once the reason she wasn't greeting them became apparent.

“The puppies are here!”

Kurt hurried over to Blaine's side and peeked inside.  Laying in the gap between the elevated mattress and the ground was Pudding, a cluster of puppies all whining and clamouring for a teat to drink from.  She wagged her tail lazily when she caught sight of her humans, but didn't move.  The birth had obviously taken a lot out of her.

The men crept in and knelt by her, Blaine rubbing her head and cooing over her while Kurt silently counted the puppies.

“Eight….”

“Any….?”

Kurt just nodded, looking at the stiff, still body of one puppy off to the side.  “One.  One stillborn, eight live…”

Blaine smiled weakly and continued to praise Pudding as she let her pups feed while Kurt carefully picked up the small, dead puppy and took it outside where he dug a shallow grave in the frozen earth and buried the puppy so it wouldn't attract any predators.  When he returned, Blaine was still knelt down on the ground, though now was watching Pudding as she licked off each of the pups.

“Can you tell who the dad was?  Was he one of the ones that's been adopted in town?”

Blaine shook his head, “Can't really tell… they're all so tiny and squishy looking.  Cute though…”

They watched over Pudding for a couple more hours, Blaine reveling over his new babies while Kurt just enjoyed watching the man turn into an absolute child around the puppies.  Pudding was very patient with Blaine, letting him hold the pups and letting him lay aside her and them as they snuggled.  

“I didn't know puppies were blind at birth…” Kurt admitted.

Blaine nodded as he watched the runt of the litter fight its way once again into the fray of its siblings in an attempt to get some milk.  “Deaf too.  Give them a couple weeks and they'll start to open up… though they won't see clearly for a few more weeks after that.”

“Are you sure you didn't want to become a veterinarian when you grew up?”

Blaine turned his head and smiled over and up at Kurt, “I always loved animals… my parents would never let me have one.  Said they were too filthy and didn't trust me to take care of it… There's something completely wonderful though about having someone there that's always happy to see you no matter what… ready to play or cuddle or just be with you.”

“Mmm… it's a shame they don't smell better.”

“Pudding smells just fine.”  Blaine turned his attentions back to the dog.  “Don'cha girl?”

A wag of the tail, thumped hard against the ground, and an open jaw that panted towards Blaine was the response, which Blaine took to mean as agreement as he nuzzled the labrador mother.  “Yah. You're a good smellin' girl.”

Kurt chuckled and stood up.  “Alright.  I'll leave you two alone with your babies.  The one with the black patch of unruly fuzz on its head does resemble you after all.”  

Blaine rolled onto his back and grinned up at Kurt, “Jealous?”

“Of Pudding?  Never.  There's no way I could compete with her.”

“See you tomorrow?”

“Probably.”

News of the puppy birth had all the young children coming to their corner of the community over the next few days and Rachel even had Blaine come in to teach the children about puppies and animal care.   Their usual evening trysts were interrupted both by the invasion from humans visiting at all hours and puppies crying below Blaine's mattress.  Kurt feigned irritation, but in truth he couldn't help but enjoy having the puppies around - so sweet, innocent, and adorable.  Their needs were simple - feeding, being cleaned, sleep, and love, and Kurt found himself sitting in Blaine's cabin with puppies curled up all against and over his lap on several evenings instead of pressing flesh with Blaine.

“I'm going to assume you're patrolling again during the Valentine's dance…”  Blaine stated, picking up one of the puppies as it made a break for the door when Pudding was sneaking out to relieve herself three weeks after the puppies had been born.

“You would assume correctly. Ow!”  Kurt was finger wrestling with one of the pups who had decided to try out his canine's on Kurt's finger.

Blaine chuckled and reached over to take Kurt's hand, examining the non-existent bite and then letting Kurt have his hand back.  “But it's the most romantic of holidays.”

“All the more reason to stay away from it.  There's a reason most babies are born around the beginning of winter out here.”

“I thought, given how much Beth latches onto you when she see's you, that you would've been a kid person.”

Kurt shrugged.  “Don't mind kids… don't like to picture the process of how they come into the world is all.”

“Conception or nine months later?”

“Both.”

They laughed together and puppysat while Pudding took her break.  All of the puppies had been claimed by people in the community and once they were old enough, they would go to their new homes.  For now though, Blaine and Kurt got to enjoy them all.  They still hadn't figured out who… or what the father was, but at the very least they knew he was brown by the mix of black and brown shades between all the pups.

“Cookie is chewing on your bootlace.” Blaine said, nodding with his head towards Beth's intended puppy at Kurt's feet.

“Hey there little girl…”  Kurt reached down to scoop her up.  “... don't ruin my kicks.”

“Library will be ready to open tomorrow….”

“I know.”  Kurt had known that for awhile and so Blaine bringing it up out of the blue was curious.  He looked over, catching Blaine looking towards the fire distantly. “Why does that upset you?”

Blaine shrugged, “I don't know… I just think Trent's finally going to tell me he's staying is all…”

Kurt snorted and shook his head, “His moving in with Kitty last week wasn't indication enough?”

“He still hasn't said it.”

“Not everything needs to be verbalized for it to be real Blaine.”

“It does for me…”

“Well on the plus side, at least now you'll have more time to dedicate to becoming a less shitty archer.”

“Hey!” Blaine snapped his head up.  “I've been working my ass off on improving!”

“Well your ass isn't what should be working your bow.  There's your first problem!”

The banter continued, as it generally did, well into the night until Kurt got too tired to keep up and excused himself to his home.  It had been days since he had been intimate with Blaine, and while he didn't mind given the situation, his body did, and old familiar aches had begun to work back into his muscles and joints.

And old dreams revisited him.

“Wake up Kurt!”

Blaine was there, hovering over Kurt with wide worried honey eyes as Kurt breathed in heavily, ensuring he still had the breath that had seem stripped from him in the blackness he had just been a part of.

“I…”  He didn't have words for it.  He had thought those dreams were just memories now, but they… SHE came back just as fierce as before.  This time though she had torn out his vocal cords while nibbling on his ear and whispering hate into his ear.  “... I'm sorry.  I didn't mean to wake you.”

“Shh….”  Blaine sat himself on the edge of Kurt's bed and drew Kurt into his arms.  Well.  He tried to.  Kurt immediately pulled back and shook his head.

“I'm fine… I don't need… consolation..”

“You're sure?”

Kurt crooked up an eyebrow and Blaine stood up with a weak but acknowledging smile.  “Right.  You're always sure.”

Blaine left and Kurt did manage to recapture sleep that night, though it was restless.  When he awoke he was just glad the day had returned and there was no pressure to sleep.  Once he finished his waking routine, he left the hut but an unfamiliar, non-snow crunch under his boot caused him to look down.

A bouquet of wildflowers.

In the middle of winter.

His brow bunched together in confusion and he knelt down to pick them up once he lifted his boot off them.  They were all still mostly intact and, after ensuring no one was watching him, he inhaled the smell of summer and sighed softly at the nostalgia for the warmer months brought up inside him by that trigger.  His routine interrupted briefly, he set the flowers inside his home and then continued as he normally would have during the day, only to find another set of wildflowers set on his doorstep that night when he returned.

Kurt wasn't sure if Blaine was playing some kind of joke on him, or trying to romance him, but he wasn't going to buy into it.

Even if he did enjoy the way the flowers made his hut smell.

Over the course of the next week, random gifts showed up on his doorstep.  Flowers, a little bottle of hand lotion, a handmade card with a can of corn, and even a little silver charm in the shape of an arrowhead with a ribbon running through the clasp.  Each time he glanced around to see if Blaine was watching him as he checked the gifts, and each time he saw no one.  Despite that he still didn't let himself react to the gift where someone could have seen him.  No sense in letting any spy know that he actually appreciated the trinkets.  Blaine never mentioned the gifts when he was with Kurt, and Kurt made a point of not bringing them up either.

He kept up with his archery lessons with Blaine, who made slow progress but after that week had finally progressed to the point where Kurt was letting him use arrows.

“Steady.  Remember to breath in when you pull back and let your breath go when you release.” Kurt directed, standing behind Blaine as he looked ahead to the tree Kurt had designated as a target.

Blaine's breathes were too deep though, his hands still not steady enough, so it was no shock to Kurt when Blaine released and the arrow zipped right past the tree and off into the bush.

“Again.”

Blaine used the whole pack of arrows, not hitting the tree once and getting more irritated and more shaken with each shot he took.  Kurt quietly tutted but didn't comment.  Blaine just needed to hit once to get his muscle memory to start working.  One arrow would start him on the path to real archery training.

“Just relax for a minute.  I'll go see if there's any of those arrows you shot laying on the ground that you can reuse.  You're going to get this.”  Kurt said to Blaine as he walked by, pulling the fur collar of his coat up around his chin and trying to hold back the chilled shiver that was trying to escape from him.

There wasn't just one laying in the bush.  He found several, but when he moved to collect one of the arrows he mistook a step.

“Ye-ow!”

The arrows he had already collected in his hands went flying into the air and scattered around him as he hit the ground on his back, feet falling out from under him.  The crash of his body was followed by the rustling of branches being quickly moved out of the way and snow being crushed underfoot as Blaine ran up to him.

“Kurt!”

A symphony of curses flew from Kurt's mouth as he winced in pain before trying to stand up and yelping as pain shot up from both his tailbone and his ankle.

“Here…. here… let me help you.”  Blaine leaned forward and Kurt wrapped an arm around his shoulders, leaning his weight on to the shorter man as he helped lift Kurt up which drew another slew of swears from his normally muted mouth.

“You're bleeding…”

Kurt followed Blaine's gaze down to his ankle where blood was seeping out of a cut made on his boots.  Looking over to where he had been laying, the culprit was of his own making - an arrow, now coating in his own blood sitting victoriously in the ice patch he had fallen on.

Blaine helped Kurt hobble back into the hut, which they were thankfully not to far from, and despite Kurt's insistence that he just needed to rest and bandage the wound up, Blaine ran for the town and the clinic as soon as he made sure Kurt was on the bed and a water bottle beside him.

Kurt took his time to peel his boots off and then his pants, each movement causing sharp pains to snap through him from either his now bruised tailbone or his ankle - sometimes both at the same time.  When he did manage to free his foot though, he secretly thanked that Blaine was so insistent on getting help because it was clear the arrow had penetrated his flesh deeply, probably just missing the achilles tendon, and would need cleaning out and stitching.  

Kitty was the one who came back with Blaine and grinned in delighted amusement when she saw Kurt laying back on his bed with only his thermal layer on and hiked up to his knees.  Thermal layers didn't leave much to the imagination.

“Well now… I can see why David set his sights on you big boy.”  She winked and set down the kit she was holding on the end of the bed, opening it and sifting through it to get the supplies she was going to need.

Kurt just rolled his eyes and then shook his head to dismiss the questioning look in Blaine's eyes.  

“You should check on the puppies and Pudding anyhow Blaine.”

Blaine hesitated for awhile until Kitty shooed him away.  “Go.  I don't like audiences unless it's to appreciate my killer dance moves.”

She took her time, and Kurt watched it all quietly, but Kitty did a good job and had him cleaned up and stitched up in no time.  “I know you like to pretend you're a badass Hummel, but so I don't have to clean up all the blood you'll spill everywhere, you need to stay off that for a couple days while it binds back up - and then you need to take it easy after that.”

“Thanks Kitty.”

“My job.”  She shrugged and then packed up her gear.  She was about to go when she caught sight of one of the bouquets of wildflowers.  “Hey…”

He laughed it off, “Yah.  Silly huh?”

“Silverleaf Psoralea, Blazingstars, Bedstraw, Fleabane….” She noted, tapping each of the mentioned flowers in turn as she listed them off.

“Right.  Any use to you?”

“They all are actually…”  She murmured quietly.  “.... How did you get these?”

“On my doorstep… I think Blaine's trying to win me over with gifts or something…”

Her eyes travelled then to the charm.  “Huh.”

“You can have those if you want.  They're no use to me.”

“No.. no… you keep them.  Silverleaf makes a good tea for constipation - something you'll suffer if I need to kick you up the ass if you leave this bed before I said you could.” She said, the humor returning to her voice as she looked back to Kurt with a plied on smirk.

He smiled back.  Kurt was beginning to appreciate that Kitty was more than just snark and spazzing.  She really did have a good mind and cared - even if it didn't show as well as it did in most people.

Blaine brought him both supper and the puppies that night, insisting that puppies could cure all kinds of ills with their kisses.

“They're going to make my place stink Blaine.” Kurt protested with a grin.

“They're going to take your mind off the fact that you're hurting.”  Blaine stated, drawing a finger over the bandage on Kurt's ankle.  “I'm sorry I missed.  If I hadn't missed, you wouldn't have fallen on it…”

“You'll learn… then you'll kill me a nice juicy buck and make it up to me.”

“With venison stew?”

“Forget the stew.  You'll fry me up a steak.”

Blaine chuckled and shook his head, drawing the blanket up over Kurt.  “I don't think I have the killer instinct in me Kurt.”

“Then it's a miracle you've survived so long.”

“No miracle….”  Blaine said softly, snuggling a puppy in his lap from where he sat on the edge of the bed.  “... just made friends with the right people.”

Kurt didn't make mention of the fact that those people were ready to toss Trent away when he got hurt.  He didn't think Blaine would have lasted very long if it had been him under the quad and not Trent.  No one but Blaine would have fought so hard to be heard and get help for a friend.

Being stuck in bed was difficult, and why Kurt avoided getting sick at all costs.  This time though, Blaine was insistent company - going so far as to have Pudding and the puppies keep Kurt company when Blaine had to make runs into town for meals and to visit with Trent.  They read books together, listened to music together, and Kurt watched as Blaine worked diligently to try and train the puppies.  When his two days were up though, Kurt was happy to get up.  He was not good at staying still so long.

He refused Blaine's insistent offer of a shoulder to lean against while he hobbled into town, and Blaine remained fixed at his side during the longer than normal trip, watching him with honey eyes that sparkled with concern.  As they came in, they passed by Mercede's office where a group of individuals had just returned from a short scavenging trip that Kurt was supposed to have gone on.  Karofsky was among those that had gone, and fixed Kurt with a worried gaze which Kurt deftly ignored as he continued onto the clinic for his check-up.

“Let me guess….” Kitty started as she saw the pair enter “... the mule here refused any help in walking?”

Blaine nodded her way and Kurt just huffed, sitting himself down on a bench, “Just check it out and make sure it isn't infected.”

“Yes your highness.”  Was the snappy retort as she came and knelt down, unwrapping the bandaging and carefully inspecting his ankle, pressing in a few places, and then nodding.  “Looks good…. but it could still open easily.  You will take it easy and if you refuse someone helping you walk, you will use a cane or crutch for the next few days.”

Kurt rolled his eyes, but instead of getting a look of returned amusement from Blaine, he got a serious look instead.  Figures Blaine would take Kitty's side on that.

Kurt accepted a cane from the back room and left, sending Blaine ahead to get their meals ready so that by the time he walked his crippled self to the kitchen, he could just sit at a table.  On the way though, he stopped to lean up against the side of one of the apartments to catch his breath.

“What the hell David!”  

Kurt's eyes snapped over to the middle of the road where Kitty had left the clinic and intercepted Karofsky.  He was in their blind spot from where he was leaning and couldn't help but hear them.

“Well that's no way to say hello when I've just gotten back from -”

“You're the one who was stealing from my indoor garden!”

The accusation seemed to catch Karofsky off guard as he didn't make any response.  Kurt's interest was definitely piqued now and he shuffled in a little bit more to ensure he stayed out of their sight as he snooped.

“Don't you dare try to lie to me either.  I saw the flowers at Kurt's place.  You've been stealing from me in an attempt to woo him.  Are you completely stupid?”

Oh.

“Kitty… come on… I just… I don't know how else….”  A sigh.

“He doesn't feel that way about you.  He's not going to.  How many times do you have to hear no before it sinks into that dense skull of yours?”

“There's no one else though Kitty….”

“Oh please.  There's over three hundred people around here.  Statistically that means around 30 of them have to be queer in some way.  Kurt is NOT the only one.”

“You think I haven't considered that?  There's me… Kurt… Santana, Brittany, Berry's dads, Unique…”

“That's only seven dumbass.”

“So what am I supposed to do?  Wait until someone else outs themselves?  What if the other twenty three are kids right now or super old?  Kurt's my age...we're from the same place….”

“... you beat him up.”

More silence, then finally.

“You've found happiness…. I just… I just want the chance to find it too.”

“Stealing the plants I'm growing to help everyone to try and seduce a guy you made bleed isn't going to make you happy David.”

“I miss you you know….”

“You miss having someone around.  Just because I'm living with Trent now doesn't mean I don't care about you any less, but David, you need to let him go.  It's not going to happen.”

“I have to…”

“And stealing a charm off my bracelet to give to him too?  That's even worse.”

“.... I'm sorry.”

Footsteps, then another sigh.  Kurt waited for a moment to ensure the conversation was truly over and then hobbled to the kitchen to meet up with Blaine as his chest pounded.  

“You okay?  I knew I should have stayed back to help you.” Blaine said, hopping up from the table he was sitting at in an attempt to try and help Kurt sit.  An attempt which was pulled away from.

“I can do it myself Blaine.” Kurt grumbled as he awkwardly shuffled into his seat, ignoring the curious glances of other community members as he slowly got himself comfortable.

Blaine went back to his seat and quietly watched Kurt as he ate.  

Kurt's mind was too busy though to even focus on what he was eating or to summon up the energy to tell Blaine to stop staring.  For the first time he felt truly bad for Karofsky, and, at the same time, completely idiotic for assuming that Blaine was the one sending him those gifts.  Of course it had been Karofsky.  He had, after all, assumed that Kurt wanted romance and someone as dense as Kitty had noted Karofsky was would presume romance could only be had in the form of gifts.  

He should have been upset about being duped like that, angry that he was so stupid to assume that Blaine was the one sending him gifts.

Instead he was disappointed.

“You've been awfully quiet all day… I mean… moreso than you normally are.”  Blaine noted that evening, his fingers sliding once over the fresh bandage on Kurt's ankle.

“Just tired I guess.”

Blaine snorted, “Right.  You force yourself to stay awake night and day and insist you're fine and you've been sleeping just fine for the past couple days and now you say you're tired?”

Kurt rolled his eyes up and sighed.  He should have come up with a more plausible excuse.  “I've just been lost in MY OWN thoughts.”

“Which you're not going to share of course.”

“Right.”

More silence.  More conflicting thoughts.  Self depreciation for not figuring out what should have been obvious.  Irritation at Blaine for not having been the one giving him the gifts.  Annoyance with himself for being disappointed that he wished it had been Blaine.  Guilt for not acknowledging Karofsky's attempt to not be a total jerk.  More self depreciation for feeling guilty when it came to the guy that beat him up.  

His head spun like that for over a day until he took all his vexation on a tree with all the arrows he had.  Kurt would have to make more arrows… a lot more arrows, and clear off the tree which looked like a flora version of a porcupine with all the fletched shafts sticking out of it at all angles, but he had at least calmed himself inside.

When Blaine walked by, returning from the town, and saw Kurt standing in front of the tree huffing for breath, he didn't even flinch.  No comment - curious or witty.  He just looked at the tree for a moment, dropped his head down and stayed in place a few feet away from Kurt.

“He must have told you.”

Blaine nodded slowly, eyes fixed on the snow around his boots.

“You knew it was coming.”

“I did…”

“You should be happy for him.”

“I am.”

“Could've fooled me.”  Kurt grunted, leaning over to pick up his cane and hobbling towards Blaine's shack.

“He's going to run the library and help with the school.”

“Makes sense.” Kurt said, sitting down on the ground inside of Blaine's hut by the door and letting the puppies crawl on him in greeting.  It didn't take long for little rough tongues to lash all over his fingers and clean them off.

Blaine sat on the bed, slumped over and ignoring Pudding for the moment as she hopped up to sit aside him.  “Just doesn't feel right… it's not like his tattoo will come off but he won't be a Warbler anymore… and…”  a sigh, “I don't even know what I'm going on about.”

“A tattoo doesn't determine who you are or what you'll do Blaine.”

“I know.”

“And you said yourself, you got it under the effects of alcohol.”

“I would've gotten it sober.”

“Is he your only friend in that pack of birds?”

Blaine summoned up a small smile at the quip about the Warblers and shook his head.  “No.  But he's my best friend of them all.”

“So make a new best friend.”

Honey eyes looked over the hands clasped together Blaine was leaning his chin against, “You say that like it's easy.  How many best friends have you had in life?”

Kurt looked away then.  Caught.  He let a few puppies burrow into his lap and doze off there before finally saying anything more.  “Would you say all of the Warblers are your friends.”

“No.”

“Most?”

“Not sure.”

“What do you mean… not sure?” Kurt looked back over, eyebrow peaked.

“There's always been a conflict in how we operate and what we do, but status quo has remained because there's never any agreement… it's only gotten worse though over the years and there's little groups all within the whole of the Warbler group.”

“Why don't people just go off and do what they want to then?  Why should they have to stick with the group?”

“Because… it's all a lot of us have known for a long time.  We're like brothers… even though we might not all like one another, we stick together.”

“Well that's a damn stupid reason for sticking together.” Kurt huffed, picking up Cookie and snuggling her against his chest as she was getting pushed out of his lap by the bigger puppies.

“Why do you stay here Kurt?”

“What?”

“Why do you stay here?  You don't seem to get along with anyone really or even want to be doing what you're doing… Whenever you're out you seem miserable.”

Kurt grumbled to himself with a roll of his eyes, “Fine.  Point taken.  I don't know what else I'd do.”

Blaine nodded and finally put a hand between Pudding's ears, scratching between them.  “Valentine's dance tomorrow.”

“Patrolling.”

“Even with your foot?”

“Even with my foot.”

Kurt avoided town the next day until he needed to be on patrol.  People always got excessively cute with one another during the day they assumed was Valentines (again, by his count that was a couple weeks ago), and it sent his gag reflex into overdrive.  He didn't have the stomach to put up with it, or the little fluttering hearts the kids at school had cut out of paper and decorated the whole town with.

It was one holiday that should have gone under with The Tides as far as he was concerned, especially since his father had always joked it had been created by card companies.

The positive side of things was that because everyone was at the dance, there wasn't anyone else on the streets he shuffled down along, insistent on walking without the cane so his leg didn't get too weak.  It was quiet, and rather mild outside for February, which meant he didn't have to keep his fur hood up to keep his ears warm.  

“Mind if I walk with you?”

The voice always made him tense up.  No matter how long it had been, he would never be completely comfortable around Karofsky. “Fine.”

For awhile, they walked in silence.  David had his weapon of choice, an axe, swinging lazily off to the side in his hand opposite Kurt.  

“Why aren't you at the dance?”

“Patrolling.”

Kurt's eyebrows quirked up.  “Usually I end up stuck with some kid who lost a draw for patrolling during dances.”

“I knew you weren't going to go… so I figured there was no point in my going.”

“Karofsky… - ”

“David.”

“David… You shouldn't have given me all that stuff… and you should take back the stuff you stole from Kitty.  It's not right.”

Karofsky nodded aside him.  “I know.  I just… I didn't know what else to do.”

“We're not going to be a thing David.  I'm sorry.”

They continued walking, David keeping his pace slow to account for Kurt's handicap, and didn't speak.  Eventually Kurt finally admitted to himself that he needed a break before his leg fell out from under him and went to lean against a railing by the kitchen, David following suite beside him.

“He's leaving you know.”

“Hmm?”

“Blaine.  In the spring he'll be gone and you'll be alone.”

“What does he have to do with anything?”

Karofsky sighed slowly and deeply.  “I know Kurt… You've been as happy… well, less angry anyhow.  I see the way he looks at you… there's no way you'd put up with him being so close if there wasn't more going on….”

“Blaine and I aren't a thing David.”

“Maybe not… but once he's gone, you'll be alone again, and I think you'll find it'll be harder to go back to than you're assuming it will be.”

“I never stopped being alone David.”

“I don't understand why you put up these walls Kurt… I know some of us, me in particular, have hurt you in the past… but we wouldn't anymore…. You don't need to be afraid of anyone, least of all me.”

Kurt looked to his side, eyes intently looking back at Karofsky who looked so hopeful with that little speech of his.  “Have you ever considered David, that maybe I isolate myself from you all not because I'm afraid of you, but because you all should be afraid of me?”

That seemed to take a little wind out of Karofsky as he sucked back a breath and his eyes opened all the way, “What do you mean by that?”

Kurt stood up and turned himself to face the other man.  “After you hurt me, after my dad died, I couldn't sleep.  I stayed awake at night, thinking about ways to hurt you and the others who attacked me with you.  I came up with hundreds of ways to hurt you back, each more gruesome than the last.  Each one designed to make you suffer.”

As Kurt continued, he couldn't help but smirk at the sight of Karofsky's adam's apple bobbing in his throat.

“I didn't take up archery initially to hunt.  I took it up because I thought it would be the best way to initially incapacitate you before I tortured you.  I had this grand plan, and I had absolutely nothing to lose anymore.”

“So…”  Karofsky's voice squeaked, making him swallow down his obvious discomfort before continuing. “So… why didn't you?”

Kurt looked back away, “Noah was off trying to collect firewood and Quinn had just had Beth… she cried all the time and Quinn was crying because she didn't know how to make Beth stop crying.  I was angry.  I hadn't been able to get a solid nights sleep in months and now there was this baby just screaming and screaming… add to it her mother blubbering as well.  I grabbed Beth, intending to take her to some mother that knew more than Quinn… and then… she stopped.  She snuggled up against me and fell asleep.  No one dared take her away from me in fear she'd start wailing again… so I held her all night… and as she slept, so did I…  Every night for a month I went over to Quinn's to hold her at night so Quinn could sleep and, in that time, I would be able to as well…. eventually I regained my sanity and with it the remembrance of my father and what kind of person he was.  I couldn't do dishonor to his memory by hurting anyone else…”

Karofsky's adam's apple bobbed one again, and he was quiet for a moment until he seemed sure that Kurt was done talking.  “Well… I guess…..”

“If anything were to happen again though, I know how easily I'd snap.  It's better that I'm away.”

“Kurt….”

“And even if all that doesn't dissuade you, the fact that, even now, when I think of you I still remember all the ways I came up with to kill you should.”

Quiet.  Then finally Karofsky nodded once and Kurt felt like a well had burst inside him at the miracle of getting through to the big, daft man finally.   

“So Blaine…?”

“Is going in the spring, like you said.”

“Okay.”

They leaned back against the rails for a few more minutes, until Karofsky excused himself to continue patrolling around town.  Once he left, Kurt breathed relief and let his eyes drift up to the moon hanging low overhead.  

Lying exhausted him.  

That part about Beth had been true at least.  Everyone knew about Kurt's weird baby whispering ability, but Kurt had never thought up ways to kill anyone.  Even in his worst moments, he had only ever wished he had died along with his father.  He had to give himself credit though for coming up with something like that to scare off Karofsky on the fly though.  Maybe now Karofsky would back off.

As for Blaine…

Well that was something Kurt was going to have to come to terms with whether or not he wanted to.  There could be nothing between them because Kurt couldn't handle one more thing in his life ending.  If there was nothing between them, then nothing would end between them.  

At least that made sense in his mind up until this moment when he actually thought about it.  

Sometimes his subconscious was a moron.

Kurt shoved off from the railing and hobbled towards the main hall, hearing it well before he got near it.  Music was being played in there.  No tune he could distinguish, especially with the din of voices and stomps of people dancing drowning it out.  He didn't get too close though, holding back and just watching silhouettes laughing and talking outside of the opened doors which had even more figures dancing and swaying inside.  Kurt forced his hips to stay still the instant they tried to move to the beat and just watched from his place for a few minutes.

It was after those few minutes that a figure seemed to take notice of Kurt and started walking his way.  It didn't take long for Kurt to see it was Blaine - few others had curls like that, bouncing against his head with each step.

“Hey stranger!”

“Hey.”

Blaine had his hands shoved deep into his pockets, the cold out where Kurt had been standing much more insistent than in the hall where warm bodies in motion probably kept it quiet warm in comparison.  “I thought you don't come to these.”

“I don't.”

“Patrolling?”

Kurt nodded.

“And yet you still ended up here.”

Kurt chuckled and gave his head a shake, “Don't make it sound like I'm ready to take up dancing.”

Blaine laughed and his eyes gave off a twinkle as the moonlight bounced off them.  “Like you could dance with that bum foot of yours.”

Kurt arched an eyebrow, catching on to Blaine's mischievous tone, “Are you trying to lure me into dancing with you to prove that I'm not broken?”

“Maybe…”  Honey eyes flickered with amusement.

“Machismo strategies like that might work on the average guy out here Blaine, but not me.”

Blaine's smile didn't falter as he kept looking at Kurt, “You're not an average guy.”

The smile was returned, “No, I'm not.”

With a glance over his shoulder at the party behind him, Blaine asked, “How much patrolling is needed right now?”

“Blaine…”

“I mean it.”  Amber eyes locked with blue once more.  “There's no threat out here and your leg is hurt anyhow….”

“Look.  I didn't watch a lot of horror movies back before The Tides, but I know underestimating a potential threat gets people killed.”

“Good thing that only happens in the movies then huh?”

Kurt pursed his lips together, eyes scrunching up at he looked at Blaine.  He had never abandoned his post, and as much as a little romp in the sack sounded appealing, he wasn't about to risk the lives of others for it.

Blaine, thankfully, picked up on that.  

“Alright, alright… but at least let me walk around in circles with you.  God knows I couldn't be any more bored doing that than I was in there watching Kitty and Trent grind against one another.”

Kurt laughed and nodded, starting to walk and having Blaine join him at his side.  “Might be some baby Warblers if that keeps up!”

Blaine's nose wrinkled up, “Weird to think about…”

“Them having kids?”

“Trent doing grown-up stuff.  When you're with a group of guys all the same age you tend to digress a little bit too easily into a more juvenile mind set.”

“Mmmm…”  Kurt could understand that.

“Oh!  You'll never guess who managed to end up dancing together!”

Kurt looked to his side, “Just tell me.”

“I FINALLY managed to convince Sam to ask Mercedes to dance.”

Kurt was impressed.  “Really? That only took years to happen….”

“I convinced him that he was drunk enough to do it even though I had only been giving him watered down apple cider.”

Kurt laughed.  “And that was all it took?”

Blaine nodded, a triumphant grin on his face, “They didn't leave each other's arms all evening.  They'll make great looking mocha babies.”

Kurt rolled his eyes.  He had no doubt there would be a baby boom in the fall.  There always was after all.  Only so much to do in the winter and dances tended to bring out the sex fiends in people.  Most of the kids born post-Tides were born in October.

“Guess we don't have to worry about that huh?”

“Really Blaine?  A gay guys not making babies joke?”  Kurt snorted and shook his head.

“I know.  It was weak.  I've been hanging out with Sam too much and my sense of humor has suffered for it.”

They laughed, bantered back and forth, and walked for the rest of the night well past the death of the party.  Kurt couldn't remember the last time he had enjoyed patrolling, if he ever had before.