Sept. 5, 2013, 7:18 p.m.
Fire With Fire: 3x22: Goodbye
E - Words: 5,450 - Last Updated: Sep 05, 2013 Story: Complete - Chapters: 45/45 - Created: Aug 04, 2013 - Updated: Sep 05, 2013 216 0 0 0 0
Blaine laughed along with all the other members of New Directions watching the original five singing on the floor. He had never liked the song they were doing, but now, with the original five glee geeks up there doing the little jazz hands and terrible choreography routine, Kurt included, it was somehow endearing. So much so that Blaine blew his lovely fiance a kiss at the end of it - something that was a first for them and Kurt, ever the romantic, caught the air kiss and held his hands together as if he was keeping it trapped there while looking back to Blaine lovingly.
Kurt even kept his hands cupped together as Mr. Butthead waltzed in, declared the theme of the week 'Goodbye' and sang Forever Young to the group. It wasn't a half bad rendition, and had it not been for the singer, Blaine might have enjoyed it. Instead he quietly bided his time until the song was over and they were allowed to escape from the room.
"Okay... okay... I know we said no exchanging graduation gifts until we actually graduate this weekend... but...." Kurt bounced beside him, hugging textbooks to his chest.
"... but you found me something and you can't wait?" Blaine finished off for him, sideeyeing him with a grin crossing his face.
Kurt nodded animatedly and the next ten minutes were a rush of getting their things put away and getting into the car and speeding off. Kurt was at the wheel and he drove them out, out, until Lima was behind them and they were in the rural realm of Ohio.
"I sincerely fucking hope my present isn't getting chopped up in the wilderness..." Blaine uttered, looking out at the unremarkable fields covering the landscape.
Kurt snorted at that, "You've been watching too many horror flicks with Sam and Finn."
"... only because you've left me alone with them while you apply post it notes all over your room as you prepare for our move."
"I just don't want to take more than we can manage... chances are we won't be able to get a place with a walk in closet..."
"Says the man who not only has his own walk in closet, but also uses mine, and the closet in the basement for overflow..."
"Fashion requires a lot of space. I just can't get rid of something when it has the potential to be reinvented for a new season."
Blaine chuckled as Kurt turned into a nondescript lot leading up to a picturesque farmhouse. His eyes rounded as he took in the area, trying to see what it was that Kurt might be bringing him here for without actually asking - since he knew Kurt wouldn't tell him. They pulled to a stop and following Kurt's lead, he got out of the vehicle. A woman sat on the porch of the farmhouse, elderly and in a rocking chair like would be expected out here. She nodded to Kurt with a knowing smile and he nodded back, reaching over to take Blaine's hand and lead him to the barn.
"If this is some sort of kinky... farmhouse fantasy Kurt... I just want you to know - I am totally down for it." Blaine said as he was led into the giant building which reeked of urine and hay. The urine scent was kind of a turn off, but with Kurt around, he never had any trouble getting aroused.
Kurt laughed at that, and Blaine knew that wasn't why they were here. Although, it became abundantly clear when Kurt led him to a horse stall which instead of being occupied with a neighing horse, had the telltale sounds of yelps and barks instead.
"Puppies!" Blaine exclaimed as he scrambled in. Somewhere within him, his five year old self had broken through like it never had before and completely taken him over. His eyes lit up and he knelt down in the hay despite the smell and any concern about if the pups had defecated or pissed in the stall. Hands reached out, immediately rewards by tiny licking tongues with bodies so awkward still that their attempts at wagging their tails caused their whole rumps to move with the wag.
The pups were all blonde, hair in tufts all over their wriggling little bodies. Blaine let them crawl on his bent knees and on his hands with a giddy laugh and behind him he could hear Kurt laughing himself, clearly delighted by Blaine's response.
"Now they won't grow too big according to the vet who checked them out... but since we'll be in an apartment I thought it would be best... and don't ask me what they are - apparently her mutt got impregnated by some unknown dog and they're the result."
"I don't care how big they get... puppies Kurt...." he glanced back with wide thankful eyes, "Puppies."
Another laugh lit up Kurt's face and he nodded, crouching down by Blaine and allowing a rogue puppy to lick his fingers. "Just so we're clear, you only get one of them."
Blaine made a soft aw of disappointment, and began looking down at the six pups wriggling all around them. How could he pick just one of these babies?
So he sat, and watched them, and Kurt just let him do that, even leaving to have tea with the farmer and his wife, the woman they saw on the porch, as Blaine got acquainted with the pups and waited to figure out which one was THE one.
At first, Blaine thought he might assess them. See which one had the best characteristics to suit him and Kurt, but after an hour of deliberations, he finally realized he didn't have to choose a puppy.
Because one of them had already chosen him.
Nestled in his lap the entire time had remained the same pup, the one with one ear pointed up and the other flopped over. The one whose tail never stopped wagging, his butt along with it. The one just happy to be with Blaine.
While the other pups had come and gone around him as they played and wrestled and napped, this one had stayed with him the entire time. This was his puppy. He said good-bye to the others, stood up with the puppy nested in his arms, cuddled against his chest and playfully chewing on the button of his jacket, and walked out to the farmhouse where Kurt was still sitting with the elderly couple and drinking tea.
"So ye' picked one did'ye lad?" The old man, more wrinkles than face, asked of him as he stepped up and presented the chosen puppy to Kurt who smiled and nodded to Blaine.
"He picked me... or she... I didn't really check..." He admitted. Of all the things that Blaine had considered, the sex of the dog had not been one of them.
"Oh thas' easy lad. Mama only had a litter a' boys. Vet says it be remarkable. I says - thank the good lord no one has'ta deal with a bitch in heat."
They all laughed and said their farewells. Apparently Kurt had already taken care of whatever the payment was, so they were free to drive to the pet store to collect all the things he intended to spoil his puppy with. He was glad for once that Kurt was driving - it gave him time to cuddle and coo over his little one.
"I have never... ever... seen you like this." Kurt acknowledged after casting sideways glances to Blaine throughout the trip back into Lima.
"Like what?" Blaine responded quietly, currently letting the puppy nip and tug on one of his fingers.
"Like... this! So open... and happy... and just... I don't know... If I had known getting you a puppy would have made you like this, I would have done it a lot sooner."
Blaine chuckled, trying to free his finger from the little teeth clenched snugly around it.
"Just be advised, I get veto rights on the name. I will not run around the neighbourhood yelling a stupid name if he gets out." Kurt noted, shaking his head as he looked at Blaine once they pulled up to Pets R' Us.
"I won't let him get out." Blaine responded quickly, holding the puppy against him as they went into the pet-friendly store while Kurt grabbed a cart.
"Fine. Still no stupid names." Kurt quickly retorted before becoming instantly drawn to the doggie outfits with an "Ooo!".
Blaine chuckled and marched around with the puppy in his arms, every now and then grabbing something to put in the cart. Chewtoys, leashes, dishes, a kennel, collars, a book on house training, a dog bed (though he had already decided his new little pride and joy would be sleeping with him mostly), and dog treats. Kurt meanwhile had snatched up some doggie bowties and replaced Blaine's choice in collars with his own, slightly more glittery, collar choices.
By the time they were done and Blaine had whipped out his credit card, they were more than fully stocked on dog equipment and Kurt was grumbling that he'd have to move even more of his things into storage than he thought he was going to in order to make room for the dog in New York.
"You're the best fiance ever." Blaine declared when they got back home and had the rest of the household helping to gather the dog goods and put them away, Burt and Carole already cooing over the new addition to the Hudson-Hummel home while Finn and Sam eagerly waited their turns to spend time with the puppy.
"I know." Kurt stated simply, smirking over at Blaine as he did.
"There is no possible way the monogrammed towels I got you for a graduation gift will beat this."
Kurt just laughed.
Blaine was glad he had helped Burt all those hours when Kurt was busy with the last meetings of student council, because Kurt was absolutely gushing now about his dad's graduation gift to him - a personal performance of Single Ladies. Burt and Blaine had practiced it nearly a hundred times before Burt's attempt at it was passable.
He was glad he was marrying into this family, so at least Burt would be legally a father to him in some capacity. There was no competition for best dad on the planet with Burt around.
Now Kurt had paused in his retelling of his dad doing Single Ladies for him long enough to sing to the rest of Glee Club. As he sang I'll Remember, he even got teary eyed, and Blaine grinned to himself. No matter how much Kurt had toughed up since he had met him, he was still so emotional sometimes, and so sweetly emotional at that. This was the side of Kurt he would see when their kids were given to them, when the kids left home too. This was the side of Kurt that Blaine would see when they were old and sentimental about their youth.
When they were old....
So often, Blaine didn't think about his future that far out. And when he did, he quickly put it out of his mind. Thinking so far ahead, well, it was still a bit of a new thing in Blaine's life.
"You're amazing." He told Kurt when Kurt finished off and went to sit aside him while the rest of the club filed out.
Wordlessly, Kurt leaned against Blaine and sighed softly when strong arms immediately embraced him. "Thanks... I needed that."
"Always here for you sweetcheeks. Always."
"Blaine?"
"Hmm?"
"Do you worry, that when we're in New York, that you'll find someone else more interested and exciting... don't you think you've just... settled for what's available for you here? Me?"
Blaine looked down to Kurt, seeing the worry in his eyes and the tremble in his lower lip.
"You know how you make me watch that horrible romantic shit? The Notebook for example?"
Kurt nodded a little, keeping his lips sealed as Blaine continued.
"Well just like those two kids played by those piss poor actors knew they were supposed to be together from the start, I know we're supposed to be together. Nothing can change that for me. NOTHING Kurt. I will not ever say goodbye to you ever."
A soft sigh of relief escaped from between Kurt's lips, which Blaine caught as he moved in for a kiss, keeping those lips connected to his own as long as he could without having to take a breath.
"Promise?"
Blaine smiled and pressed his forehead against Kurt's, "Promise."
"Cody?"
"No way. How about Decimator?"
"Are you kidding?"
"Wait! I have it! ERNEST!"
"Now that's definitely a joke..."
This was the conversation that had been ongoing for several nights now as the Hudson-Hummel household encircled the playful little pup that always found its way into Blaine's lap regardless of who was trying to coax him over. Naming a puppy was serious business in this family. So serious in fact, that there was an argument over who was going to answer the phone when it went off since no one wanted to have their voice silenced by absence.
Kurt was the one who went to pick up the phone though, citing that he had veto power anyhow - for the upteempth time. He left the living room for the kitchen where the phone was and was gone for several minutes while the debate raged on. When Kurt returned, his face was white and he locked his eyes right onto Blaine.
"Blaine... why are you having a will made up?"
Ohshit, Ohshit, Ohshit...
Blaine glanced up and over at Burt, who gave him a shrug. Blaine had explained himself to Burt, who agreed to go along with his wishes, but now, obviously, something had been said on the phone that Kurt knew and now... well now he had to try and figure out how much Kurt knew so he could do damage control.
"Let's go talk..." Blaine murmured, holding the puppy over to Finn and going to the kitchen to join his pale faced boyfriend.
"The lawyer called... said there was a misprint in the will you just signed so they reprinted it with a fix and need you to come by and sign it again... they thought I was Carole so they told me...." Kurt explained, hands gripping the counter behind him where he was leaning.
"I'm not dying if that's what you're worried about Kurt." Blaine immediately told him, also relieved that this was all Kurt knew about.
Kurt's colour immediately began to turn and he gasped out his relief, "Oh thank goodness... I was just... if you ever keep anything like that from me... I would just... Blaine..."
Blaine scooted over to embrace his fiance, rocking him in his arms, "Oh god no Kurt.... it isn't that at all."
"Then why? What seventeen year old writes a will?" Kurt whimpered, looking up at him.
"This one." Blaine said simply, and knowing that wouldn't be enough, he explained.
"I spent many years wondering if I would even grow up. If I would last until now, or twenty... and even when I got out of that house... I still ended up getting hurt. Kurt. I just.... don't want to be unprepared when I do die. I know seventeen year olds aren't supposed to be worried about it... but I've been close to death, and not just that last time, but a few times. I don't want anyone to have to worry about what to do with my carcass and my shit when that happens."
Kurt shuddered against Blaine when he was reminded about how many times he had seen Blaine hurt since they had been together, and just how much he had been hit and hurt growing up. He gave Blaine a simple little nod and murmured softly, "For the record though, you've used up your hospital stay quota for the next few decades though. You need to be alive and healthy for me."
Blaine grinned and nodded to Kurt, "I'll do my best."
"Good. Now let's settle on a name for that dog already. I swear if Finn has come up with one more inane name offering I will put duct tape over his mouth."
"Oh Kurt Hummel, you kinky boy you."
That earned him a jab in the side.
"Mercedes has that recording contract already and Mike was accepted into Joeffrey with a scholarship and... god Blaine... I hate waiting for my letter." Kurt grumbled as he pulled out all the textbooks in his locker. They were going to the library to return their schoolbooks.
Blaine smirked and put a hand on Kurt's shoulder, "You're getting in Kurt. You're too amazing not to. Now give me those." He grabbed Kurt's textbooks to carry for him. Since he had been healing up, he had gone into chivalry overload, making up for all the times Kurt had to hold his things.
Kurt sighed and changed the subject, "Are you going to declare a major? I saw you looking over possible course schedules last night...."
Blaine shrugged up his shoulders, "I don't know... I might wait until I talk to one of the school counsellors there... see if they have any recommendations for me."
Kurt nodded, "That's actually... pretty smart of you."
"We should go away after grad... visit New York, check out apartments... have a little us time." Blaine said as they walked down the hallway. Kurt with his hands in his pockets so uncharacteristically and Blaine balancing a load of books.
"We can't leave behind Mercury Blaine. Not while he's housetraining."
In the end, the poor pooch was named Mercury - after Queen's illustrious lead. Finn and Burt had already shortened that down to Merk, much to Kurt's chagrin, who had actually been completely onboard with naming the dog after the pop and rock icon. Kurt had shot down about forty names prior to that one being suggested, so it was easy for everyone to agree to the name once Kurt did, happy just to be able to call the dog something.
"We could take him with us. He'll be needing to check out potential homes with us too."
Kurt chuckled at that and gave a shake of his head - not a no, but just in disbelief. "Sometimes I think you love that dog more than me."
Blaine let out a sound of mock offense, "Not possible!"
"Oh really? They why is he constantly inbetween us at night now? I can't even cuddle you when we sleep."
"He's just a baby Kurt... he needs affection, and to feel safe."
"He's ruining my snuggle time."
"I'll make it up to you!"
"You'd better."
They made it to the hall where everyone else was waiting to find out Puckerman's test result - the redo of his world geography exam. Puck was pacing back and forth, worried as hell clearly. Kurt and Blaine leaned up against the lockers while the waited, every now and then giving nervous glances to one another. When the teacher did hand the marked test out the door of the classroom, Puck ripped it from her and gave a hoot.
"C-! That's a Puckerman A+!"
Everyone cheered, congratulated Puck, and communally felt a rush of relief for their friend that they didn't want to leave behind.
The week had been poignant. The seniors had sung to the younger classman and then vice versa. It was amazing how few students would be left in the club, so many of them were seniors. It was going to be hard for them to rebuild next year. There was a lot of crying going on in the halls, and a lot of yearbooks being passed around to be signed.
For Blaine though, it was surreal. More than anything he was happy to be leaving this place, but a little part of him was sad to leave behind the friends and security this school had offered him.
Brittany would still be here. She and Blaine had has a long heart to heart last night as they introduced Mercury and Lord Tubbington to one another - a colossal failure as Lord Tubbington tried to eat little, confused Mercury. Brittany had no hope of any redos because she didn't even have a lot of the prerequisite courses complete for her senior level courses. She would be staying for at least another year, and wasn't even sure if she could graduate at all given her poor academic history.
Blaine wished he could do something more to help her - but he had already spent so much time these past few months trying to tutor her and help her with her classwork. If he knew anything about the matter, he might think she had a learning disability, but he didn't know, so he didn't want to say anything that might upset her further.
Which is probably one of the reasons she wasn't there celebrating with Puckerman. Santana too was absent, and for the first time since he'd met her, Blaine was grateful for her existence. No doubt she was with Brittany right now, distracting her from the fact she wouldn't be graduating so he could be here to celebrate with Puck.
If you had asked Blaine Anderson a year ago what he'd do if he had to choose between which friends he was going to be with at any given point in time, he would have been confused, because - what friends?
Now he had to keep a schedule in his phone of who he was supposed to me when. Puckerman for lunch, Sam for weight spotting, Mike for dancing, Brittany for just hanging out....
"What are you thinking about Blaine?" Kurt asked of him, shaking him out of his drifting thoughts. He snapped his head to the right to offer Kurt a smile, reaching over to wrap an arm around that lithe waist which belonged to his man.
"How happy I am."
The boys all got on their grad gowns in the living room over their clothing, Burt, Carole, and Sam's family all watching and snapping photos and talking about how wonderful they all looked.
Blaine, personally, was irritated by the tassel of the stupid graduation cap that kept obscuring his vision, but it was a small price to pay for getting to this point. A point he never thought he'd come to.
Cooper couldn't make it, but Blaine wasn't expecting him to. Cooper had put off so much work in L.A. while Blaine was in the hospital and healing that he had to make up for it now, though Burt and Carole had promised to tape the whole thing for Cooper. So even though he had no one coming from his own family, Blaine was still happy. Burt and Carole had both, independently, taken him aside at different times today to ask if he was alright and to let him know they were there for him. The sentiment was nice, but he had told both of them that all the family he needed was already there with him.
They had both teared up at that.
Now they were getting the boys to take photographs in various positions - some serious and some playful. Mercury was running around between their legs and occasionally jumping up to grab ahold of one of the gowns and tug playfully.
"You need to discipline him Blaine. He's going to end up spoiled." Kurt scolded him as Blaine just laughed as Mercury tugged on his own gown instead of trying to detach the puppy.
"You can be the disciplinarian Kurt. I'll be the snuggly-let-the-kids-do-what-they-want parent." Blaine retorted, reaching down to pet the puppy.
"Oh really?" Kurt's hands were on his hips. Blaine didn't even have to look to know it. "Why do I have to be the mean one?"
"Because I don't have it in me to be mean to those I really love." Blaine said simply, scooping Mercury up and then posing for a picture with the dog in his arms while Kurt looked at him slack-jawed and quiet.
"Fine." Kurt whispered over to him as they posed for another picture. "But you'd better back me up when I ground or punish the kids."
Blaine just grinned at the thought.
"We're meeting at the train station to see Rachel off at 4:15...." Kurt said quietly as he stirred the soup.
"Can we talk about this?!" Blaine stammered. He didn't want to talk about Rachel. Talk about how she got into NYADA and Kurt didn't. Didn't want to talk about how his wrist hurt after he punched a locker when Kurt told him he didn't get in. Didn't want to talk about anything other than their future.
Kurt had stopped him from phoning up the admissions office at NYADA when he heard. He had put up with Blaine yelling about how it was wrong, and they were idiots, and that the whole school must be stupid.
It was Burt who had calmed him down though. Reminded him that even though Blaine was hurting on behalf of Kurt, Kurt didn't need that. He needed Blaine's support and love, not his anger.
"There's nothing to talk about Blaine." Kurt sighed as he set the spoon on the stove while the soup simmered. "I will try again in second semester."
"And until then?"
Kurt shrugged, "It's too late to apply to Pace or NYU... I imagine I'll just do community college here and work at the shop in the meantime."
It felt like someone had stabbed Blaine with a spoon and now was slowly scooping out his heart. "What...?"
"Well I can't go to New York without a plan Blaine.... I mean...."
"Kurt! The whole reason I'm going to New York is because you're supposed to be there!"
Kurt looked away, staring angrily at the floor, "Well maybe you should stop planning what you do based on what I do."
"What the hell does that mean?"
Kurt looked up then, eyes red and clearly about to spill with tears again, "Why don't you do something because YOU want to do it? Why plan your life around me?"
"Because you're the one thing in my life I'm fucking sure about Kurt!" Blaine snapped, his hands fisting and then reaching up to tug at the small curls starting to grow there as he growled in frustration.
He felt a hand on his arm and registered that Kurt was holding onto his arm. He hadn't even noticed Kurt had moved in his moment of frustration.
"Blaine... what if something happened to me?"
"No." Blaine shook his head quickly, "No... nonono. You ARE my life. Nothing... nothing..."
He was silenced by a finger pressed to his lips and his eyes drifted over to Kurt.
"If something ever happened to me - I wouldn't want you to give up on life. You need more than just me to be happy Blaine... please."
Blaine shook his head again and the finger fell from his mouth, allowing him to speak again, "You are my life. You are my everything and,... and if you won't go to New York, then I won't either. I can't live without you Kurt."
His response was given in a sad sigh and Kurt turned away to once again stir the soup being made for lunch. Picking up the spoon and dipping it into the pot he spoke again, "You can't Blaine. You need to get out of this place..."
"You do too."
"... I do. But you need it even more than me, whether or not you realise that."
"Come to New York Kurt. You can find a job there until second semester... or I could support you. I know you hate that idea, but New York is your dream, and I want you to have it."
Another sigh directed to the soup and Blaine found himself stumbling forward and wrapping his arms around Kurt's waist from behind, speaking into his shoulder blade. "Please Kurt."
"Alright... but I'll get a job. I don't want to be a house-husband."
Blaine grinned against the fabric of Kurt's shirt and tried not to let his joy overcome him as he shuddered - the happiness literally vibrating out of him. "Thank you."
He'd have to remember to phone the lawyers and get the scholarship delayed a few more months until Kurt really did get into NYADA. He'd get a realtor to check out apartments for them in Manhattan - dog friendly of course. He'd start looking into great date places for him and Kurt to check out.
"I do worry though Blaine... if I'm your whole life... that puts a lot of pressure on me."
Blaine shook his head, still buried against Kurt's back, "No... don't feel pressured. Because of you I mean I have a life now. Friends, real family - yours that is, a future, and you of course, the icing on my cake. I even have a puppy."
He felt the chuckle deep in Kurt's chest as he continued to hold him close. "Now to find a place that will actually allow pets."
"Leave it to me sweetcheeks. I'll take care of it."
"Mmmhmmm.." Kurt set down the spoon again and twisted himself in Blaine's hold so they were chest to chest. "... I know what you're thinking. Going to buy a nice little flat with your Anderson money. Well, if you think for even an instant that you get to pick a place out without my input -"
"Oh no. I'll just get it narrowed down babe - and it'll be both our names on the sale. That way, if anything ever happens to me, you still are the owner."
Kurt sighed and shook his head, looking sadly at Blaine. "Why? Why do you always say stuff like that? It's like you're planning to die...."
Blaine shook his head. "No babe, no... I just... I..." He let out a huff of air, frustrated with himself for being unable to come up with the words as quickly as he should be. He should know himself better than this after all. "... I just can't put it out of my head either."
Kurt's hands and arms wove their way through Blaine's and around him so he was held just as much as he was holding Kurt. They stood quietly for awhile before Kurt spoke again.
"When we move to the city... I want you to see a therapist -"
"Kurt! I-"
Lips were silenced by fingers rapidly shot up to his mouth and pressed there. Kurt looked at him intensely, and he knew to stay quiet.
"For me. That's my cost. I know you don't like it and don't think it's necessary, but since you're throwing money around anyhow, at least put some of it in a place that might have some use. There's only so much I can read up on how to help you with what's happened to you, and from what I've read, the personal emotional fallout may be yet to come and I don't know how to help you with that... and I want you to be okay, not just for me, but for any kids we might have, and most of all, for yourself."
Blaine swallowed, nodding against the fingers on his lips. He could do that. Sit in some bitch's office for an hour every week to make Kurt happy. He could do that.
"And you need to buy into it. Talk. Answer questions. Try what they suggest. You need to take ownership of your own emotions. It can't all be hinged on me. Some of how you feel has to come from you and you alone."
Well so much for just sitting around with someone for an hour...
"You don't have to tell me what happens in those meetings, or you can tell me everything - whatever you want. But you have to promise me you'll do it and you will try. I love you Blaine Anderson. I want to spend my life with you - but I don't want to be your entire life. I want more for you."
Another nod, and Blaine clenched his eyes shut for an extra long blink as he pushed the tears back that were trying to escape now. Kurt's hand was pulled away and replaced with lips, pressing gently to Blaine's. A kiss which he returned just as sweetly.
"I love you Blaine..."
Blaine's mouth quirked into a smile as he looked at that angelic face.
"I love you too."
"Then let's go to New York."