Fire With Fire
Mmerainbows
3x18: Choke Previous Chapter Next Chapter Story
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Fire With Fire: 3x18: Choke


E - Words: 4,125 - Last Updated: Sep 05, 2013
Story: Complete - Chapters: 45/45 - Created: Aug 04, 2013 - Updated: Sep 05, 2013
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"What do you mean she moved back?" Blaine demanded over the phone after Cooper had told him.

"I mean, I phoned their house and some woman picked up and said she was back in the Phillipines since the divorce went through." Cooper explained on the other end of the line.

"Divorce? They actually got a divorce? When did this happen?"

"I don't know. I thought you might know! Certainly didn't see anything while I was there and that was only a month ago!" Cooper responded.

"Why? Wha?...." Blaine was absolutely dumbfounded. Of all the things Cooper could have told him... even that Cooper had found love with a blue midget named Harry, this was the most unthinkable. His mother had always opposed divorce, even when she was consistently served with papers from his father before, and so it never happened, and the last he had seen of them, they were back under the same roof.

"Yup. That's about my thought process too squirt." Cooper noted.

"Who was the woman?" Blaine asked then, trying to determine as much as he could.

"Oh, I asked that too. She called herself the lady of the house. Maybe a new housekeeper?"

Blaine snorted. Cooper was either that naive or he was just in that much denial. One of his dad's mistresses was now living at his old place - effectively replacing his mother.

"I don't think so Coop."

"Oh...."

The brothers talked for awhile longer, each asking questions of the other regarding if they had noticed anything or heard anything more about their parents. But since neither had a clue or inkling about what had happened, neither could contribute more than frustrated sighs. They finally ended the call and Blaine went to sit beside Kurt in the family room where he was watching Finn play Call of Duty with a clearly unimpressed expression. As Kurt noticed Blaine's faraway look and slumped demeanor though, that expression changed to one of concern.

"What's wrong? Is Cooper alright?"

Blaine nodded silently, examining his hands - so much like his father's in shape and size.

"Then what?"

Blaine took in a breath. He didn't really want to try and explain it, or why it seemed to be ripping at his heart, because even he didn't understand that part. He didn't know anything more now than he had on the phone a few minutes ago, and so he knew he'd be frustrated trying to tell Kurt about it who would no doubt ask the same questions Blaine had for Cooper - and Blaine would have no answers just as Cooper had.

But he couldn't leave Kurt in the dark.

"Apparently Cooper called my folks place... and my mom has moved to the Phillipines and one of my dad's mistresses is living there now."

Kurt was silent for a moment as the information sunk in and then Blaine felt his boyfriend's hand on his back, rubbing gently.

"What does this mean?"

It was the last question Blaine expected, and one he didn't know how to answer. He shrugged and simultaneously shook his head. It wasn't a situation he had ever considered and so it was one he didn't know how to deal with.

The rubbing on his back stopped, but Kurt's hand remained there. A silent reminder that he was there for Blaine.

"Do you have any way of contacting her there?"

Blaine thought for a moment. Most of Phillipines was modern, but he had to be a member of the most backwards family there naturally. "I can send a letter... but even if they have gotten a phone in the past year, I don't know the number."

"Do you want to send a letter?"

Blaine sighed and leaned himself forward, pressing his face into his hands, "I don't know. I don't even know why this is bothering me like it is. I shouldn't care. I thought I was done with them."

"They're your parent though Blaine. Even if you hate them, even if you never see them again, they are so intricately a part of you that they never will really be gone. You think when my mom died I stopped concerning myself with what she might think of what I'm doing? Even though I don't believe in god or heaven or any of that?"

Blaine shook his head. Kurt's mother was different though. Kurt's mother loved him until her end and always put him first.... and Kurt was never mad at her like Blaine was with his mother.

"You might not like your mom very much... but I think you probably still love her despite everything that's happened. That's what makes you a good person Blaine."

Well shit.

hit.That's when Blaine started crying and when Kurt pulled him against him so Blaine could sob freely against his boyfriend. His boyfriend, who was hopelessly right.


Blaine threw himself into helping Kurt prepare for his NYADA audition after that. Even lighting each and every one of the candles Kurt insisted on having onstage for Music of the Night - which he was now apparently unsure of because it was too safe and boring.

Kurt even threw out ideas about how to make the whole thing more interesting for him including sequining his cape and singing it in German. The one suggestion he could get behind was Kurt singing it in the nude - but of course Kurt dismissed that idea the instant he said it, instead suggesting more candles.

"No more fucking candles." Blaine retorted. His hand ached from lighting all the candles that were already on stage, and he had several small burns on his fingertips.

Kurt sighed and shook his head, taking off the phantom mask and cape and climbing down from the stage. They were due to go to glee club soon and clearly Kurt didn't want to do another run through of the song before then, so Blaine led him by the hand to the choir room.

Since that night, Blaine had avoided talking about his mother. Kurt tried a couple times to open up that dialogue again, but Blaine didn't want it brought up. He didn't know how to handle it or what to do with it. He just needed to keep going for now until he figured it out.

Puck did a rendition of Schools Out for Summer which Blaine thoroughly enjoyed, but Kurt appeared weirded out by. Afterwards, Kurt had a school council meeting, and all the rest of the guys were going to the weight room to work out, Blaine included. He had been increasingly included in the guys group, so far as Puck even giving him a shot glass last week with all the other boys (sans Kurt, who didn't work out with them) that he had stolen from houses he cleaned at. Blaine's has said 'Drink til' She's Cute' - which was hilarious in and of itself.

But lately Puck hadn't been joining them in the weight room, a fact Finn brought up today as they made small talk while each of them did their own thing - Blaine at the punching bag as always. Apparently Puck was at risk for not graduating, and even more appalling to some of the boys, he wasn't logging onto live gaming with some of the guys. It was decided they would help him graduate, by whatever means necessary.

Blaine was happy for another distraction to keep him from worrying about his mother.

Kurt had at some point let his parents know about what had gone on with Blaine's mom and Burt had tried to broach the subject with him too that evening, but Blaine shook his head and looked away - enough of a clue for Burt not to push the matter. They watched the basketball game in comfortable silence, every now and then sharing their disappointment at a player's move or a bad call, but thankfully, not talking about anything else.

Meanwhile Carole was being extra gentle around Blaine. Sending him those sweet motherly smiles of hers and giving him extra hugs "just because".

Kurt had begun sorting through his things to determine what would go with him to New York and what would go into storage. It actually made Blaine sad to think about - not only because of the change they would be going through in a few months, but because he had left so many things at his parents house, thinking they weren't worth the effort to move and now he missed them. It wasn't like they could bring his piano to New York though. But he did have a lot of books, which even though he didn't read all the time, he enjoyed having by him. Each one was a special story, and when he saw them on the shelf, he would be reminded of that story.

Blaine also had a lot of mementos that he kept tucked away in drawers of his old room. He wondered if they were still there or if his parents, or now his father, had them cleaned out and thrown away. It pained him a little to think that the pictures of his childhood friends and the first pencil Kurt had loaned him were now in the trash somewhere.

He had saved a lot of little things that Kurt didn't know about. For example, in their freshman yearbook, Blaine had dog eared all the pages Kurt had shown up on and tucked away little things that reminded him of Kurt when Kurt was still a crush for him - like a paperclip he had dropped once, and the class schedule Kurt had thought he had "lost". Looking back on it, Blaine realized he was a borderline creep, but given how well things had worked out, he wasn't going to hold it against himself.

Then there was their sophomore yearbook. Blaine had gotten bolder with things then. He had a few pictures of Kurt when Kurt had been a kicker for the football team, as well as some pictures from their sectionals performance that Kurt probably still didn't know Blaine had been at. Blaine had kept a feather that had fallen from one of Kurt's more audacious outfits, and a picture that had dropped out of Kurt's locker of the original New Directions group.

By the time junior year had come and gone, Blaine had a whole drawer dedicated to his mementos. Of course, that was the year they had gotten together, but before even that had happened, Blaine had kept a few little things - like that pencil Kurt had loaned him in French class, the receipts for the cabs he had taken from the hospital after dropping Kurt off to be with his dad in Kurt's car, the keycard for their New York hotel... all of it was special to Blaine.

Internally sighing, he tried to push it to the back of his mind. Better that he didn't have it all. At his current rate, he was going to end up on Hoarders. He already had a drawer in his room here at the Hummel-Hudson house dedicated to more little things he wanted to save. He had his wristband from the hospital when he was brought there before winter holidays, and a copy of the order that gave Burt guardianship of Blaine. He had stopped Kurt from throwing out one of his old shirts and instead had saved it because it smelled so deliciously of his boyfriend.

Hey B! The crazy swim lady and Coach Sue are making us do a number about domestic abuse. Any ideas? - Sugar

Blaine looked down at his phone and furrowed his brow. Leave it to Sugar to ask him one of the more tactless questions possible. He entered in a quick reply.

About half the stuff Eminem puts out. - B

Oh! Okay! Thanks! - Sugar

Blaine rolled his eyes. Generally he avoided Sugar. She was so shallow and ditzy - he had no idea why she hung around the glee club given how overdramatic things were and how much people overanalyzed things there. Blaine thought most of it would be over her head, yet she stayed, and added yet another dimension of weirdness to the group.

Why are Coach Sue and Coach Washington getting you guys to sing about domestic abuse? - B

Oh. That's the other girls. They were joking about it in the halls and got in trouble with them. I wasn't a part of it. - Rachel

Seriously? They were making jokes about it? - B

Yes. It was a real dumb move on their part. Speaking of dumb moves, is Kurt still nervous about his Music of the Night performance? - Rachel

No, because he's going to do Not the Boy Next Door now. -B

WHAT?!?! - Rachel

He was bored with the other one. - B

I will be speaking to him tomorrow about this! - Rachel

Blaine's eyes rolled again. Rachel was far too over dramatic and too overinvolved in Kurt's audition process. Kurt was a pro. He could pull off anything and do well. Blaine wasn't worried.

As if on cue, Kurt snuck into Blaine's room then. Blaine set his phone on the nightstand and lifted the corner of the blanket so Kurt could crawl in beside him.

He couldn't wait for the day they were in their own place and could just go to bed with one another without sneaking. That was the one thing he had for sure planned for the future.


Kurt was going to do Music of the Night. Somehow Rachel had convinced him that was the way to go and Blaine had the task of lighting all the candles once more in preparation for the audition. The day had finally come, and with it, hopefully an end to all of Kurt's nervous worries over it.

But then Kurt changed his mind in front of some NYADA hotspot there to oversee the audition and all of Blaine's candle lighting was for nothing.

Though seeing Kurt dance and thrust his hips in tight gold pants as he belted out Not the Boy Next Door made it all worth it. He was going to cherish those pants long after Kurt outgrew them and wanted to get rid of them. They would definitely be added to Blaine's collection.

Hell. He might frame them and put them on permanent display.

The lady overseeing the audition indirectly told Kurt she was impressed and that it was a bold choice, causing Kurt to squeal a thank you out and bound backstage as Rachel was called out.

Blaine was joined then by Kurt and Finn, who all waited with baited breath as Rachel came on stage to, once again, sing Don't Rain on My Parade. Blaine wished he could charge her everytime she sang this song. She was completely obsessed with it.

So it came as a shock to them all when she choked on it. Not once, but twice. Then the woman left and Rachel began to cry on the stage. Finn was the first to rush there, and then Kurt too, where they hugged her until she let Finn drive her home.

"I can't believe that happened." Kurt said quietly as Blaine came up behind him.

Blaine wrapped his arms around Kurt and murmured, "But you killed your audition..."

"Yes... but... instead of being happy about it, now all I feel is awful for her."

Blaine sighed against the back of Kurt's neck. Even he felt bad for Rachel. He knew this was her dream - everyone did. It was hard to see a dream that big come crashing down because of a momentary lapse in lyric recall. She had to be giving herself shit something fierce right now.

They lingered together on the stage in silence for a few more minutes before Kurt had to go to his student council meeting and Blaine had to join the guys for an all night 'Help Puck Pass' study session.

He really hoped they all knew he was sacrificing late night Kurt cuddles to help Puck.

Blaine didn't mind helping Puck study, but the whole process was torturous because nothing, absolutely nothing, seemed to sink into Puck's mind and stay there.

"Maybe if we had some chicks who offered to show their tits as a prize if you got the answers right..." Blaine snapped at one point, rubbing his temples in frustration.

The other guys though seemed to actually consider this suggestion, which just made Blaine groan. Of all the things he did not want to see, lady parts topped the list. However they managed to continue on without actually bringing anything pornographic in, and Blaine grateful for it.

Finn noted that Rachel was devastated when asked, and Puck and Blaine took a breather together to plot their latest prank against the hockey team. It had become something of a ritual they now shared. Every couple weeks they would figure out something new and hilarious to do to the hockey team (and periodically the golf team since Puck didn't like their existence). This week they would sew up the sleeves of the players jerseys.

It should have been weird, staying so late at the school. He hadn't stayed there at night since he was living there. It seemed like a lifetime ago, only though it had only been a few months. The school still seemed to hum at night, and it was so much more calm than it was during the day. Blaine had to stop and appreciate the silence in the hallway when he had taken a break to go to the bathroom.

It was in that silence, that a thought came to him, one that once it was in his head, he knew wouldn't leave. The thought lingered and danced along his skull throughout the rest of the night, no matter how he tried to cast it out. Then at dawn, when the rest of the guys were heading to their homes to clean up and get ready for going back to school, Blaine headed towards a different direction.

The road to his parents house.


"Who the hell are you? What do you think you're doing?" The scantily clad 20-something yelled from behind him. She had opened the door to him and he had pushed past her, going up to his room... or at least, what had been his room.

God, she wearing lingerie. Who the hell wore lingerie at seven in the morning?

"JAY! JAY!" She called up the stairs, not following Blaine. Figured she didn't know who he was. It wouldn't be like his dad would have shown her any pictures of his youngest son, and he definitely wasn't surprised that all the family pictures were off the walls.

He shoved the door open to his room, and his heart fell as he saw the emptiness within. It was bare. There was nothing there. It was like all proof of his existence in this house was burned away. The confirmation that he didn't need, that his dad really didn't care about him, was staring him in the face.

"The fuck!"

That was all Blaine got as a warning when he felt something heavy land against the back of his head and drop him to the ground where he sputtered and tried to push himself back up until whatever it was hit him against the back of the head again, and again.

He'd almost forgotten what it felt like to be beat down.

He wished he'd of had the sense to say goodbye to Kurt through before he came here. He should have realized it was stupid and foolhardy, and that he might end up like this, a quickly fading pile on the floor.

But he didn't think of it, and now all he could do was think of Kurt's face until he blacked out.


He didn't think heaven existed, or hell for that matter, but he assumed that he must be in some kind of limbo waiting for entrance to one of the two as he heard voices come and go past him. He couldn't make them out, and couldn't tell what they were saying - they just floated past him like leaves in the wind.

He also felt nothing. No pain, but no pleasure either. He felt like his body wasn't attached, and he had no eyes to see with. He was just a presence, part of a fog that he couldn't make out. Time wasn't relevant. He dropped in and out of that fog, again and again. Sometimes the voices got louder, and other times quiet. Sometimes he thought he could make them out as distinct, and other times they were completely unfamiliar.

They must be judging me... my life... my actions... he thought to himself, and he wondered if he was an independant person anymore in this afterlife. Perhaps he was part of a great massing of souls now and they could hear his thoughts like he thought he could hear them.

It was peaceful in this place, wherever it was, and for the first time, Blaine felt quieted and calm. He could be happy here, in this place, whatever it was.

Until he made out a voice.

"Blaine, please Blaine... please come back...."

Kurt. He would recognize that voice anywhere, anytime.

"... I'll do anything.... please...."

Oh Kurt... he thought as he continued to float in this place, why would you want me to leave here? I'm free here. I'm content. Noone is here to expect anything of me.

Then there was sobbing, and Blaine knew that no matter how peaceful this place was, it didn't have Kurt. He tried to open his eyes, tried to move, tried to find out where Kurt was in this expanse of nothingness, and then he felt it - the first bit of his body he had felt since coming here.

"Nurse! Nurse! He moved!"

A hospital? Was that this place? He was in a hospital? He pushed again, trying to force himself to feel more, exist more.

"It's okay Blaine! I'm here! I'm here!"

He found his eyes then, and let them flutter open, and then snapped them shut. So much light. He slowly opened them again, taking time to let them adjust and then see Kurt before him, his eyes tear streaked as he hovered over Blaine.

Blaine still felt foggy, still felt detached from his body, but he had the beginnings of realization that was probably because of drugs, and not because he had ever died.

No. He was quite alive, with doctors and nurses now rushing all around him, and the voices he had heard before became matched to these people around him, checking him over and talking around and over him.

His eyes searched for Kurt though, and only Kurt, even though someone - a doctor? - was trying to get his attention and do some kind of test on him.

There. There was Kurt, tucked behind a nurse with his eyes locked back on Blaine. He looked so worried and at the same time, happy.

How long had he been gone for? What had happened? Blaine didn't remember anything beyond the hit against his skull back at the Anderson home. Then the fog, and now this.

He heard them talking, but the words didn't seem to process with his brain. Had he been beaten stupid? No. He had understood what Kurt had been saying to him. Then what was wrong with him?

Eventually, he was left alone with Kurt again, who came back to his side immediately and smiled so sweetly to him, tears running down his cheeks. When Blaine tried to lift a hand to brush the tears away, he found he couldn't move his hand.

That's when he began to panic.

"Sweetie! Sweetie! It's alright!" Kurt insisted as Blaine's body seemed to jerk involuntarily. "It's just the medicine. It's taking away your pain... but also your ability to move!"

Blaine searched Kurt's face and let his heart slow a little as he calmed down. God. How could he be tired already? He felt exhausted, but clearly he had just woken up from a sleep.

He hated this immediately. He hated not having control over himself or his body. When he tried to move his lips, he again was met with his body not complying with what his mind wanted.

But he had Kurt there, and Kurt seemed to understand him... somehow.... because the next thing that happened was that Kurt was crawling into the hospital bed and snuggling up against Blaine gently.

And that was all the invitation Blaine needed to doze off.






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