April 20, 2015, 7 p.m.
Citizen Erased: Chapter 9
E - Words: 1,800 - Last Updated: Apr 20, 2015 Story: Complete - Chapters: 25/? - Created: Feb 14, 2015 - Updated: Feb 14, 2015 209 0 0 0 0
Kurt could have seemed more excited about the prospect of having his way with Blaine. It wasn't like Blaine hadn't realised that having sex with him was the whole point of Kurt owning him. It certainly wasn't because he was a mediocre cook or because he was pleasant company. Regardless, Blaine stopped himself from saying anything volatile and instead led the way up the stairs and to the bedroom, where, without looking back at Kurt, he carefully took off and put away his clothing before his sense of decency could kick in. Blaine could hear Kurt doing the same, but kept his eyes focused and away. He knew Kurt's clothing would just end up on the floor, as they always seemed to, left in wrinkled piles for someone else to attend to. Blaine wouldn't allow himself that freedom. He had to keep whatever bits of himself, however mundane, in tact that he could. Kurt could have his body, show him that Sebastian was a dick, and take away his freedom, but he wouldn't take away whatever else made Blaine… Blaine.
Which, Blaine reminded himself as he took in a deep breath and pushed down his briefs in one motion, was why he was doing this. If there was anything Blaine had fought for over the years, it was that he was going to be on stage. He wouldn't and couldn't let it go. The means would justify the end. They had to.
He crawled up on the bed once he was completely naked, offering his backside up to Kurt as he kept a solid focus on the headboard. He didn't want to see what was about to happen, didn't want to think about it. Hell, maybe he could get through this by thinking about other things entirely.
“You're shaking.”
Blaine tensed up at Kurt's voice from behind him and looked down at where he was grabbing the sheets in his hands, white knuckled, and, indeed, trembling.
“I'm fine. Just do it.”
“No.”
Instead of the pressure Blaine at his backside that Blaine was bracing himself for, the only weight he felt was a shift in the bed as Kurt slid under the blankets on his side and reached for a cigarette from the drawer beside him.
Blaine had to make this work.
In desperation, he made himself look Kurt's way, and crawled himself over to whip the blanket off Kurt, exposing his nude body, including that part that Blaine had been expecting to be within him by that point.
“Hey!” Kurt snapped, reaching to pull the blankets back just as Blaine was dropping his head down. They met in chaos, the blanket being pressed against Blaine's cheek just as he had gotten his lips around the salty head of Kurt's cock. The instant he heard Kurt groan and felt the blanket pressed against his face loosen, Blaine shut his eyes and began moving his head up and down just like he had seen men do in pornographic films.
For a minute, it worked, and as Blaine did his damndest to get Kurt to come so it would be over, moving his tongue every which way, bobbing his head frantically up and down, and holding on tightly with his lips, he was rewarded with moans and cat-like mewls from Kurt - whose body had gone lax below Blaine. However, whatever bits of decency Kurt might have possessed seemed to catch up with him and Blaine found his head being pulled off as Kurt's fingers dug into Blaine's hair, painfully taking it away from Kurt's body and bringing the blanket back up to cover himself.
“I said no.”
“But -”
“Don't you see all those damned ads they run everywhere? No means no damn it.”
“But -”
“Just go to sleep Blaine.”
Kurt rolled away from him then, his back to the side of the bed that had become Blaine's, leaving Blaine there, naked and exposed and confused, the taste of Kurt still on his lips and tongue and salty tears burning the corners of his eyes.
His only shot at earning his way out and he had ruined it with his damned nerves. On one hand he guessed he should have been glad Kurt wasn't the kind of guy who ignored the feelings of the guy he was sleeping with in favour of his own needs, on the other hand, Blaine needed this. He needed to do something to get out of this hell. He was a theater student and he he couldn't even act like he wanted it.
“Kurt… come on…”
Kurt grumbled something incomprehensible and turned his head to look back at Blaine. “Do you really think I'm that kind of scum bag? Fuck off. Go to sleep.”
“I need to go back to school. I need -”
There was a sudden movement in the bed that Blaine wasn't expecting, and before he could take a breath he found himself knocked flat on his back with Kurt overtop of him, looking down at him with barely blue eyes - so immersed in black. “Is this what you want?!”
Blaine took in a sharp, stilted breath and closed his eyes tightly. It wasn't what he wanted, but it was what he needed to do.
However, Kurt wasn't making a move in that direction, and he seemed intent on making some kind of point as he grabbed Blaine's hand and held it up, “You can't stop shaking, you can't look at me, and you're as pale as a fucking ghost. You think that turns me on?!”
Blaine's arm was dropped back to the bed and again Kurt abandoned him, leaving him there to shudder as the other man grabbed his cigarettes, tossed on a bathrobe and walked out of the room in a huff. Left alone, Blaine curled up on himself and cried quietly. He had ruined his chance. All he had to do was act… so that he could go to school to learn how to act. The irony wasn't lost on him, but it didn't humor him either.
The whole week Blaine had been mourning. Mourning more than the loss of his freedom, he was mourning the time he had wasted pining after Sebastian and ignoring all his faults that now seemed glaringly obvious in retrospect. Sebastian had never cared about him the way he had cared about Sebastian, and because of Sebastian, he was now in this mess. More than that, he had gone against his parents wishes to go to a prestigious business university as they had, and had cut them off when he left for New York. They wouldn't even know he was missing - and would they even care after the hateful words that had passed between them?
The only thing he had left was NYADA and the promise of a career on the stage, and now it was all left in the hands of a man who didn't seem to know what to do with him. Was Blaine so unattractive that Kurt didn't want him enough to hurt him?
Those were the thoughts that Blaine fell asleep to, and when he awoke in the morning, a blanket had been pulled over him and Kurt was nestled back on his side of the bed with that horrid snore of his. It was the first time Blaine was awake before Kurt, and as Blaine sat up, he saw an envelope on his bedside table with the NYADA logo stamped on it.
He glanced back at Kurt curiously, who still slept, and then reached to take the paper in hand, pulling out a number of papers from the envelope that were printed on NYADA stationary. How Kurt had done this, in the middle of the night, was a mystery, but one that prompted Blaine's hands to shake again.
It was a confirmation of registration for him for the fall semester and a confirmation that tuition had been paid in full.
Blaine didn't know exactly what it meant. Did it mean he was free? Did it mean he would be allowed to attend classes? Whatever the case was, Blaine found himself holding the papers tightly to his chest and crying again - though this time in happiness.
He got up, showered, dressed, and went to make breakfast. Not just the simple breakfasts he had been making, but a full meal with every breakfast item he could think of - pancakes, bacon, sausage, omelets, muffins, and even orange juice he squeezed himself. By the time Kurt woke up and had trudged down the stairs, the table was full and Blaine was due for another shower with all the food he had gotten on himself in the process of making it.
“What's all this?” Kurt mumbled, still half asleep as he slid into his seat and looked over the covered table.
“Breakfast.” Blaine answered simply, pouring Kurt a fresh cup of coffee to go along with the orange juice already at his place setting. “Thank you.”
“... pretty sure you're the one who made this.”
“No. I mean for NYADA.”
“Oh… well.. we'll talk about the conditions for that.” Kurt grunted, picking up a piece of bacon with his fingers and munching on it. So the letters didn't mean his complete freedom after all, but it did mean that Kurt seemed willing to bend a little, and, after the past couple weeks, a little meant a lot to Blaine.
Kurt aggressively went after his breakfast, as he seemed to do with every meal Blaine prepared. Given what Blaine had seen of his naked body the night before, he presumed that Kurt must work out during his time away from home - because with the way he ate, not exercising would have ensured Kurt would have had a gut instead of the impressive abs he had instead.
Blaine ate well too, for the first time since he had gotten to this place. He didn't worry about what it meant that Kurt had paid his tuition, assuming that it was just more money he'd have to figure out how to pay back, nor did he concern himself over how Kurt was going to keep tabs on him when he was out - as he was sure to do. He just ate, and allowed himself to smile, thinking about how he'd soon be back on track.
“Also… thank you for not… you know.”
Kurt peered up and over at Blaine, a forkful of sausage in front of him he was about to consume. For a moment, Blaine let himself be looked at in that odd, curious way that Kurt studied things, and then he finally got a response.
“I'm not a total monster you know.”
Blaine knew… or at least he was starting to.