Blaine had been able to sleep through the night, and though he forgot his dreams the instant consciousness hit him, he knew they must have been pleasant by their lingering after effect - a steady heartbeat, the feeling of safety, and a smile playing over his lips.  It took him a couple seconds to recognize that he was bound up in Kurt's arms, and a couple more seconds to remember the events of the night before, and just like like that his steady heartbeat was replaced with a thump-thump-thump knocking the air out of his lungs.

His superego and id woke up with his memory, and immediately began to fight - yelling through his head so a headache was inevitably.  When it came to how he felt, Blaine felt… okay.  He didn't mind the warm, muscular arms holding him snugly.  It was nice in fact.  No one had ever kept him so close.   When it came to what he thought though, his reason snapped into place - yelling at him for being a needy moron the night before, for giving himself up so easily, and for not wiggling right out of Kurt's arms the instant he woke up.

But even with the lecture he was giving himself internally, Blaine didn't pull away.  He let himself be held, and in turn pressed his cheek against Kurt's chest, listening to the solid beat of the other man's heart and wishing this wasn't so complicated.  He had felt good last night.  For so long he had been holding out, trapped by words Sebastian had spoken back in his junior year about “virgins being the most delicious” or something that seemed equally inane now.  Blaine hadn't even thought about Sebastian last night.  For the first time in… years… Sebastian wasn't the focus of his fantasy, and even though it was his captor that had taken that piece of Blaine, Blaine didn't find himself regretting it.  Kurt had been gentle, attentive, and so focused on making sure Blaine was alright that Blaine had been able to forget the power imbalance between them for that time.  It was like they were just two boyfriends discovering one another for the first time.  Every fear of Blaine's that it would hurt, or that Kurt would make him feel like a slut had been tossed away.  It had been… wonderful.

So Blaine snuggled in against the other man, even bringing his hands up around Kurt to hold him back for however long the moment would last, and ignored the battle waging within him.  For now, he would follow his feelings.

Kurt wasn't even snoring that morning - a definitely nice change, and though he still smelled of cigarettes, it was muted by the smell of his sweat, a reminder of how hard he had worked to make things good for Blaine the night before.  Blaine had been fully prepared to fall back asleep in an effort to temporarily silence his mind when Kurt murmured something incomprehensible and brought a hand up to rub his eyes, leaving the hip it had abandoned on Blaine feeling empty and cold.

“Morning…”

“Hey.”  Blaine uttered quietly, suddenly feeling frozen.  What if Kurt didn't enjoy himself the night before?  Blaine had barely done anything during sex except taken it - and Blaine was pretty sure Kurt was used to being served and not doing the serving.

That was Blaine's mind constantly grinding though, and it was silenced momentarily when Kurt moved his hand down to tip Blaine's chin up and connect his lips to Blaine's.  Again, Blaine's mind argued - he shouldn't be okay with being kissed.  Media had consistently told him that it was somehow more intimate than sex (something he never really understood), and that taste of cigarettes and alcohol that lingered on Kurt's lips and tongue were hardly endearing.  Yet Blaine found himself kissing back, his lips rolling along in time with Kurt's, letting Kurt's tongue invade his mouth, and twining his own around it when it did.

Kurt's hand continued to travel down Blaine, sliding down his side, to his waist, and over his hip, making Blaine shudder in response.  He shouldn't be getting aroused by it, but he was, and when Kurt's hand found its way between their bodies, it was to meet Blaine's now erect cock which seemed to be sparring with Kurt's.  

“God you're beautiful…”  Kurt breathed out when he pulled away from Blaine's lips, looking almost reverently at Blaine in a way that made him blush and avert his eyes.  No one ever said that about him, and it scarcely seemed right.

When Kurt reconnected his lips, it was to Blaine's now exposed neck, and Blaine didn't even realize he was moaning until he realized that it was his voice, and not Kurt's, making that noise.  Kurt moved his mouth down Blaine's neck, to his collar bone, and, tossing back the blankets that covered them both, began to make his way down Blaine's body leaving small red bruises in his wake along Blaine's skin.

For his part, Blaine felt frozen again, and had to summon all his energy to roll onto his back and lift a hand to set in Kurt's hair, following his passage down south.  Why he was so alright with it all, he couldn't understand, but his brain short circuited and ended the debate inside him the moment Kurt took his cock into his mouth and began sucking it as eagerly as he had the night before.  

When his back arched up in response, the slight burn within him and the ache of muscles that had been spread the night before hit him.  Yet, instead of taking away from the feeling of Kurt's tongue rolling tightly around his dick, it just seemed to add to it.  It didn't matter what Kurt wanted to do with him next, Blaine knew he'd take it - and happily too.  Why he had waited so long to experience this seemed insane to him.

He expected Kurt to want more, to move onto his ass, but Kurt continued to suck like Blaine's dick had the antidote to some disease he was suffering, and despite trying his best to hold back, Blaine found himself flinging an arm over his eyes and whimpering in an attempt to warn Kurt - who just seemed spurned on by the noises Blaine was making and sucked even harder such that there was no way Blaine could hold back, coming into Kurt's mouth and covering his own to stop himself from crying out like his vocal cords were trying to.

Blaine's mind went blank after that, and it could have been two seconds or two hours that he enjoyed the nothingness that was inside his skull before Kurt travelled back up his body, licking the corners of his own lips before dipping his head down and pressing chaste kisses over Blaine's lips.

Kurt got up then, and Blaine's mind immediately sent up an alert.  “You.. you didn't…”  

“I'm okay.”  Kurt assured Blaine, running his fingers over Blaine's chest which sent shivers up and down his spine. “I'm going to shower.”

Which left Blaine to wonder if he had done something wrong when he heard the shower turn on in the bathroom, and, which in turn, gave way for Blaine's voices to pop back into his head chastising him for letting that happen and giving him grief for feeling guilty that Kurt didn't get off at all.

Except he had.  Blaine sat up with a wince, and looked down over himself - covered in hickeys.  That's when he saw the wet spot near the end of the bed and, realising that he couldn't have done that, understood that Kurt got off while getting him off.

The thought was undeniably hot.

Little mewls and cries got Blaine's attention next, and he forced himself to stand up and walk to the bedroom door so he could open it and let his kittens in, who bounded in and climbed up the bed before looking at Blaine as if he had done them a grave disservice by locking them out overnight.  He chuckled and returned to bed to pet them both, each one getting a hand, and making up for the lack of cuddles they hadn't got the night before.

When Kurt came out of the washroom, Blaine let himself stare.  Most of the time he avoided Kurt completely when he left the bathroom, a towel bound around his waist and looking every bit as sinful as he actually was, but this morning Blaine figured he was entitled to stare at the man he was still hungry for more of.  

“I have to go to the office.”  Kurt announced, as if Blaine wasn't already aware of it.  “But I have a free chunk of time around lunch to mid afternoon if you'd like to go out for lunch with me.”

Blaine nodded.  Of course he would.  He reveled in those too scarce moments outside of the apartment, but even more now he wanted to be around Kurt.  Blaine watched as Kurt got dressed, mentally putting duct tape on the voice inside him telling him that he wasn't that kind of man, that he shouldn't be ogling his captor, and that he was losing his mind.

It wasn't until Kurt left for his office that Blaine let himself freak out.  He ran his fingers down and over his ass, wincing at how tender his muscles and hole felt, and nipping his bottom lip when his mind yelled at him that it was because he let Kurt in there.  The hickeys decorating his body were finally registered as Kurt claiming him and he covered himself up quickly so he didn't have to see them anymore.  

His mind was as scheming as it was chastising though, and as Blaine tried to keep himself busy throughout the morning, he got flashes of his night before with Kurt whenever he blinked, and it made him shiver with want and need, which in turn made his brain scream at him for what it saw as self-traitorism.  

When Kurt came home at lunch, Blaine all but tackled him.  He was tired of the voices in his head.  He needed them silenced.  He needed to feel okay with himself.  So lunch was cancelled, and Blaine listened to how he could moan and cry out as Kurt had sex with him on the couch, spreading him open and filling him up just as he had the night before and making Blaine feel like everything was okay… more than okay - amazing.  

It was the same that night, when Kurt came home after midnight and looking especially exhausted.  If Kurt looked taken aback at lunch, he looked completely shocked when Blaine pinned him to the bed and reciprocated the line of hickeys down his body before begging Kurt to take him for the third time in just over a day.

And just like the night before, Blaine fell asleep wrapped up in Kurt's arms, telling the voices inside him to shut up, and focusing on how perfect it felt to be cared by someone.