Sept. 4, 2013, 2:14 p.m.
Oh Simple Thing, Where Have You Gone?: Still Alive but Barely Breathing
M - Words: 12,418 - Last Updated: Sep 04, 2013 Story: Closed - Chapters: 23/? - Created: Jun 28, 2013 - Updated: Sep 04, 2013 233 0 0 0 0
(Flashback)
Kurt missed his family so much. He knew that only a few days had passed since he had been snatched from outside the hotel in New York when he had been leaving Blaine a voicemail. A lump came to his throat every time he thought of his boyfriend. Oh Blaine, how he wished he could see him. All Kurt wanted to see was his family, his friends and his boyfriend. If only he could see them one final time before he had to resign to his new life in his hellhole. It would also give him a chance to tell his loved ones how much they meant to him and that he loved them, giving him the opportunity to say goodbye. He missed his Dad calling him pet names and attempting to understand his love of fashion. He missed gossiping with Carole as they watched crappy reality TV shows or while they prepared the dinner together. He missed Finn's goofiness and he even missed his stepbrother calling him 'dude'. He missed sitting in the Lima Bean with his boyfriend, talking about anything and everything. He missed the sound of Blaine's laugh, the look in his eye as they gazed at one another and just how safe and loved he felt in his presence. He just wanted to be reunited with his loved ones and go back to the life he had.
Hayley was stroking Kurt's hair as he laid on the mattress, with his head resting in her lap. Tears were streaming down his face, despite all of his desperate efforts to stop crying. He had cried every single night he had been held in the basement. Hayley had warned him that Manson cried crying and that there would be consequences if he was caught, so he always tried to hide the fact that he was actually crying. Manson and his henchmen usually did not show their faces of an evening, often heard playing poker and drinking into the night upstairs. This of course was not guaranteed.
"How are you all doing tonight, my little monkey makers?" Kurt froze as he heard the voice of one Thomas Manson.
Kurt quickly sat up and tried to discretely wipe his face, hoping that it wasn't too obvious that he had been crying. Unfortunately that wasn't the case.
"How is my new little toy doing?" Manson smirked as his eyes raked over the young boy's body, "Aww, has little Kurt been crying?"
Before Kurt could say or do anything in his defence, Manson grabbed his arm and yanked him off the filthy mattress. He had to watch in horror as Manson kicked Hayley several times in the ribs, causing her to cry out and curl up into a ball in an attempt to get him to leave her alone. The ringleader finally stopped but focused his attention on the boy now in front of him. Manson let go of Kurt's arm but suddenly reached out and backhanded him across the face. Kurt reeled backwards as he clutched at his cheek, pain exploding across his cheekbone, but Manson wasn't done with him.
"Gladstone, McIntyre! Get in here now!" Manson bellowed as he reached out to grab Kurt by the throat.
The gang leader leaned forward, adding pressure to the young boy's windpipe, "I don't like crying, boy! I've decided that crying is forbidden in here and that if I catch anyone crying, they will get what's coming to them. It's not very manly, is it kid? I'd say it's a girly thing to do. Ah gentlemen! Perfect timing! Kurt here is in dire need of a beating. The little fag needs to man up!"
Manson released Kurt but instantly, his two henchmen, Gladstone and McIntyre had seized him and they did as they were instructed to do. Kurt tried to find his happy place and block out what was happening to him as his body took blow after him and the pain was radiating through him. He didn't know how much time had passed when his broken body was finally dropped back onto his mattress.
Manson let out a cruel laugh, "Remember this kid! I will always do my best to stop you being such a faggot!"
Manson gave both Kurt and Hayley one final kick each, before heading back upstairs and leaving the teenagers to deal with the consequences.
(Flashback)
Kurt's eyes flew open as he managed to pull himself out of his nightmare and back to reality. He immediately sat up in his bed, trying to calm himself down and control the sobs that had been escaping his mouth. He had to remind himself that he was in his own bedroom in Lima, Ohio and that he was safe. He wasn't in that hellhole anymore.
Kurt heard a noise outside his bedroom and knew that it would be one of his family members coming to investigate. He quickly laid back down and rolled on his side, closing his eyes and feinting sleep.
His bedroom door slowly opened, "Kurt? Kiddo are you okay? I heard you yelling."
Kurt clenched his eyes shut even tighter as his father made his way over to his supposedly sleeping form. He hated that he was attracting attention due to his screaming, crying and calling out when he was having nightmares. It made him feel incredibly weak and pathetic.
Burt saw that his son was fast asleep and decided to let him rest, "Goodnight son. I love you."
Kurt laid very still as his father quietly made his way out of his room. He finally let out a sigh when his bedroom door clicked shut. He moved his knees upwards so he was curled up in the fetal position, just clinging to the present and knowing that sleep was going to elude him for the rest of the night. He knew that tomorrow would be an absolute bitch.
It only seemed a few minutes had passed to Kurt when 'Teenage Dream' suddenly blared out in the silent room. The song would usually make him smile, letting the memories of his and Blaine's relationship wash over him. Today was not one of those days. Kurt rubbed at his face as he got out of bed and he turned off the alarm on his phone. He headed to the bathroom for a quick morning shower, hoping that it would help him to feel awake enough so that he could cope with the day ahead of him. Afterwards Kurt just settled on a pair of skinny jeans and a sweater, not really caring if his look wasn't exactly fashionable. His love of clothes and fashion had decreased since his return as he didn't have the energy to spend time create the fabulous outfits he used to wear. He hurriedly made his bed, before grabbing his bed and everything he needed for the day. Kurt quickly slipped his feet into a pair of converse and left his bedroom, heading downstairs to the kitchen. The sight that greeted him was his family sitting around the table eating their breakfast and chatting away.
Carole smiled at her stepson as he sat down "Good morning sweetheart. Would you like some pancakes for breakfast? I waited for you to come down to serve them in case Finn decided to eat them all."
Kurt couldn't even manage a smile as he shook his head, "I'm just going to have some toast thanks. Finn can have them all."
Carole and Burt looked at one another, obvious concern on each of this faces. Burt had told his wife about hearing Kurt crying and screaming in the night and going to check on him. He had had his suspicions that his son might not have been asleep when he went into his room but he had decided to let it go. He knew that Kurt would try and avoid talking about the previous night, but they had to discuss it. It wasn't good for him to bottle everything up.
"How are you feeling son?" The older man asked, relieved to see his son was actually eating some breakfast.
"Fine," Kurt's response was short and sharp.
Burt let out a sigh, "Kurt... I know that you had a nightmare last night and that you're recovering from a rough night, but it's extremely important that we talk about it!"
"No we don't need to talk about it," Kurt said bluntly as he dropped the remainder of his toast onto the plate, "I'm going to drive to school in my Navigator. Finn, are you coming with me now?"
The quarter stared at his brother, not knowing how he should respond as he didn't get why they had to leave for school at that very moment when they usually didn't leave for another twenty minutes or so.
Kurt huffed as he grabbed his bag and left the table, ignoring his father calling him back. He picked up the Navigator's keys from the key bowl in the living room and he grabbed his jacket from the coat rack. Kurt practically ran to his car as he left the house, not wanting to give his father the opportunity to stop him and force him to talk about his nightmare. He didn't want to go there.
He quickly started the engine, put the car into gear and reversed off the drive. It was indeed too early for him to go to school so he decided to stop off at the Lima Bean and get a coffee. The young boy needed the caffeine as he was functioning on less than three hours of sleep. Kurt would not make it through the school day at this rate.
Kurt was the only customer in the Lima Bean at the early hour as he sat at a table slowly drinking his coffee. He had decided to sit in at the coffee shop as it would kill some time before he had to head over to McKinley. He knew that it was childish of him by running out of the house and driving off this morning, but he didn't want to be force to discuss the nightmares. His nightmares were always memories of what had happened to them and he wished that he could lock them away in his mind. There was no doubt that he'd be in trouble when he got home that afternoon.
"Kurt?" The boy in question sharply turned his head to find his boyfriend standing there, looking at him with a puzzled expression.
"What are you doing here?" Kurt asked, worried that his Dad had called his boyfriend and told him about his dramatic exit.
Blaine gestured to the counter, "I decide to come here before school and get some coffee for the two of us. I thought I'd treat you but it seems that you beat me to it today. I saw the Navigator outside, which seriously confused me. I briefly wondered if someone had stolen it and driven it here! When did your Dad say that you could drive to school? As far as I know, he's been completely set on you riding with Finn."
The older boy looked down at his coffee, "He didn't say I could. We had an argument during breakfast and I just wanted to get out of there. I grabbed the keys and ended up driving here."
Kurt knew that Blaine was frowning at him, "Kurt... do you really think that was a good idea?"
"I don't care," Kurt muttered stubbornly as he finished his grande non-fat mocha, "I just needed to get away and it was my best option."
Blaine could see how annoyed his boyfriend was and he didn't know how to proceed. There was an awkwardness between the couple as neither of them knew what to say. Kurt didn't want to snap at Blaine when he didn't deserve it and Blaine didn't want to anger Kurt. He felt that he had to tread carefully around him.
"You should really get your coffee as we should properly head over to McKinley soon so we're on time," Kurt said, knowing that his boyfriend was very weary of him.
Blaine nodded and quickly made his way to the counter to order a medium drip to go. He couldn't help but glance at his boyfriend several times, not knowing how to really act around him. This had never happened to him before. Kurt had never really behaved in this way before. He was worried that this was a warning sign that his boyfriend was heading for a massive sigh. Blaine knew that he would be there to catch the boy he loved if or when he fell.
The former Warbler paid for his drink and grabbed the medium drip, walking back over to his boyfriend still sitting at their usual table. Kurt stood up as Blaine approached and threw his empty coffee away, before surprising his boyfriend by taking his free hand in his. Blaine's eyes widened as he looked down at their entwined hands, allowing himself to be led out of the coffee shop. He did want to ask Kurt what was the deal with his mood swings but he knew that maybe he should just let it go for now.
Kurt led them over to the Navigator and the Prius that were parked next to one another. He knew that his boyfriend was trying to work out what was going on with him, but the truth was that he didn't really know himself.
"I'm sorry if I'm being short with you," Kurt muttered as he looked at his feet, "You of all people should know how bitchy I get with little sleep. I came here to get some coffee to try to help survive the day."
Blaine couldn't help it as a small smile materialised on his face, "I do know. At least a little caffeine would give you some energy for today, rather than you crashing and burning before the day has begun. Look babe, it sounds that you've had a stressful night and that this morning with your Dad didn't exactly help that, but please remember that I am always here for you if you need to talk. I'm a very good listener and I know that because you were the one who told me that. Please don't hold everything in."
Kurt leaned in and gently kissed his boyfriend's cheek, "I know. I'm not really in the mood to talk right now but I promise you I will. You are an excellent listener and I know that you're always there for me. I love you and I am so glad I have you in my life. Okay sweetie, I'll see you at school."
"I love you too," Blaine called out as he stood there, clutching at his coffee, watching Kurt get into his Navigator to drive to school. He was still standing there as Kurt drove out of the car park, wondering if Kurt would keep his promise about talking about what was going on with him. He hoped he would but with Kurt, he just didn't seem to know anything anymore.
(break)
Kurt sat with his arms closed, practically glaring daggers as he watched Rachel sing some love ballad to Finn. He had had such a bad day. The coffee from Lima Bean had done nothing to help him and all he wanted to do was get out of school. He hated the fact that he was only done two thirds of the school day. Kurt had seriously struggled to pay attention in all of his lessons so far and had found all the work extremely tedious. He had had to bite his tongue several times to stop himself from snapping at his friends and to make matters worse, the seniors had started to discuss what they should do for 'Senior Ditch Day'. This was a day where only seniors could skip school and the seniors in the Glee club were planning to go a theme park, most likely Six Flags. This just depressed Kurt even further as he should have been going with them and having fun making plans with them. Of course Thomas Manson and his little gang of Neanderthals had ruined that for him by targeting him to join their prostitution ring. Kurt also felt that the school and his parents could have let him stay on as a senior and just let him make up all the work, but obviously they had thought that he wasn't clever enough to do that. Kurt knew he was being unfair but he couldn't help it when his current frame of mind was so poor. It did make sense for him to repeat his junior year but he wasn't really thinking rationally.
The song came to an end and the New Directions clapped half-heartedly for the girl who seemed to always be singing. Kurt kept his arms closed, refusing to join in and focusing his attention on the clock on the choir room wall, wanting the session to be over so it meant that he had only a few lessons left at school.
"Fantastic, as always Rachel," Mr Schue stated as he made his way to stand in front of his students, "Who would like to sing next? Someone who has not sung for a while?"
The teacher's eyes narrowed in on the boy sitting at the back of the room, "Kurt? How about you? It's been a very long time since we've all had the pleasure of hearing your beautiful voice."
Kurt's eyes flicked between his teacher and his friends all smiling up at him so eagerly. It was clear to him that they wanted to hear him sing. The last time he had sung a solo in the choir room was shortly after his return to McKinley from Dalton and he had sung 'As If We Never Said Goodbye' from 'Sunset Boulevard'. It had been so long but Kurt didn't care about that. He didn't want to sing. He didn't want to stand up in front of his friends and sing a song. Singing a song wouldn't help him with what was going on with his life. The New Directions seemed to think that if you sang a song, everything would be okay. This reminded Kurt of the time his father was in hospital due to having a heart attack and he was terrified that he was going to lose the only parent he had. The New Directions only sang songs about what was going on, but no one actually asked how he was doing or if he was okay. It was all complete and utter crap.
"No thanks," Kurt replied, hoping that everyone would just move on but knowing that this was unlikely.
Mr Schue seemed startled by his student's refusal to sing, "Come on now Kurt. You haven't sung in so long and I know how much you love to sing. I'm already looking for contenders for a solo at Nationals and there's a chance you could have one. We'd all love to hear you sing."
"There's no chance of me having a solo in a competition, Mr Schue. That just won't happen," Kurt declared, knowing that he was absolutely right, "I'm sure you would all like to hear me sing but I do not want to sing. Once again, thank you for the offer but I am rejecting the chance to sing in front of you all."
"Kurt!" Rachel started to interject as she stood up and put her hands on her hips, staring at her friend in shock, "How can you turn down a chance to perform in front of an audience? You're being incredibly rude for no reason!"
Kurt couldn't help it as he scoffed at the girl's words, "I'm being rude? This is coming from a girl who is always berating others as she thinks that she is superior to everyone? I know you have to take every possible chance to screech any song from your repertoire in front of an audience just so you can feel like a star in your eyes, but I don't feel the need to do that. I don't have to constantly sing in order for me to know that I can sing and that I am a good singer."
Rachel was completely speechless for once, not knowing how all how to respond.
Santana let out a slow whistle, "Damn Hummel, you can dish it out! I might have to welcome you to the big leagues soon."
"He is telling the truth however," Quinn piped up, not one to hide any annoyance towards Rachel Berry.
Finn and Blaine exchanged a sad look, not knowing what was going to happen with Kurt being in such a foul mood.
Rachel foolishly decided to try again, "Well Kurt, maybe you should practice more like I do as it might have helped you in our diva off two years ago when I beat you!"
Both Finn and Blaine let out a loud groan simultaneously, ignoring the looks they were getting as they knew what exactly was about to happen. They knew all about the phone call Burt had received and how Kurt didn't want to cause any more trouble by singing a song sung by a girl.
Kurt's eyes were blazing as he stood up and smirked at the girl challenging him, "You might as well know the truth now. I blew the note. I can hit that baby in my sleep. I blew the note because I didn't want my Dad to get harassed again or have to deal with his son singing a girl's song. I threw the competition."
Rachel gasped as she dramatically took a step back, "No! That can't be! That was the win that gave me all the confidence to know how truly talented I am. Take it back!"
"Sorry I can't. It's truth time," Kurt simply shrugged as he sat back down, ignoring all of his friends gaping at him.
"Mr Schue..." Rachel started to whine but the teacher stopped her from continuing.
"Rachel, just sit down thank you," Mr Schue instructed, waiting for the girl to take a seat, before turning back to Kurt, "Look Kurt, I don't really know what is going on anymore, but I think it would be nice if you sang today. You can sing 'Defying Gravity' if you'd like to. It'd be nice to hear one of our original members sing again."
Kurt shook his head, "I'm okay thank you, Mr Schue."
"Kurt, I'm really going to have to insist..." Mr Schue began.
"Oh for fuck's sake! I don't want to sing!" Kurt yelled furiously, unable to take any more of this utter nonsense, "How hard is that to understand!?"
Kurt grabbed his bag and he jumped up from his seat, before storming out of the room and ignoring any cries for him to stop. He didn't understand why Mr Schue had kept pushing at him. Maybe he had seen what a foul mood he was in and he had thought that singing would help his student's mood.
Without realising it, Kurt ha walked out of the school building and he was now standing in the car park, his Navigator in the close distance. He was so happy that he had driven himself and had his own car at school, rather than having to share with Finn, as it gave him the incentive that he could leave. He didn't want to stay at school.
Kurt threw his bag in the back of the car as he settled down in the driver's seat. He could hear this phone ringing but he chose to ignore it, not wanting to deal with anyone. It was most likely to be Blaine calling him, wondering where he was, but he'd deal with all of that later on. He just wanted a break from it all. The angry boy quickly turned the ignition on, put the car into gear and pulled out of the parking lot. He had no idea where he was going but he knew that he could just keep driving until he felt like stopping. Kurt wasn't planning on going home in case his Dad or Carole were still at home. They would demand to know why he was at home so early and it would lead to an argument. There was no doubt in his mind that the two adults would be informed of his outburst and his truancy. When he did return home, there definitely would be an argument of some sorts.
Kurt had been driving around for just under fifty minutes when he decided to stop. He eventually found a small car park that seemed to be used by people who wanted to go in for a hike in the woods. The reason he had chosen this place to stop was because he had spotted a little park that seemed to be empty. Kurt smiled to himself as memories of playing in similar parks when he was little flashed through his mind. The place seemed so innocent, something that he no longer was. Nonetheless, it seemed to Kurt like a good place where he could just sit for a while and think, as well as giving himself the opportunity to cool off and calm down. He made his way over to the swing set, happy to see that there was no one around, and he sat down on one of the swings. He remembered going to the park with his parents when he was younger and how much he loved the swings. He would always call out for his Mum or his Dad to push him harder so he would go higher. Those were simpler times.
Kurt felt his smile grow as he slowly started to swing, his feet moving off the ground. It made him feel so free and it was almost as if he was a child again, wanting to swing higher and higher. He threw his head back as he leaned backwards, causing him to swing higher and start to laugh, the sound tumbling out of his mouth. It felt incredibly weird to feel so carefree and to be laughing so easily. His laughter grew louder as he started to gasp for breath, unable to control himself. Kurt wondered if he was experiencing some sort of mental breakdown and whether he might have finally cracked after everything he had been through. He eventually let the swing start to slow down, watching his feet until the swing came to a natural stop and he could place his feet firmly on the ground. The teenager had finally managed to calm his breathing down, but at the same time had put an end to the carefree feeling he had had. Kurt could feel his body trembling as the sobs starting building up, seemingly coming out of nowhere.
It was as if he had no control over his emotions anymore. He couldn't live like this. It was all too much for him. He buried his face in his hands as the sobs broke free. When would everything actually be okay for him? The young boy felt that he was struggling with basic everyday life and he didn't have any idea of when it would stop. He knew that the way it would most likely end was by him breaking down and falling apart even further.
The former Warbler had no idea of how much time had passed but he knew he seriously had to head home as soon as possible. He had been ignoring how cold it was sitting outside, but now he couldn't stop the constant shivers due to the cold and there was a possible chance of frostbite the longer he stayed out. It was starting to get dark, indicating that much more time had passed than he had thought. Kurt wiped at his face with his right sleeve, hoping to remove the last traces of his earlier tears, before getting up off the swing. He headed backed to the Navigator, which was now the only car left in the car park, and he quickly got in. Kurt reached for his school bag in the back of the car and he placed it on the passenger seat instead, before pulling out his phone. He let out a long groan when he saw that it was twenty five past seven, meaning that he had been sitting in the park for a good few hours. There was no uncertainty that there would be hell when he did get home. His phone alerted him to the fact that he had fifty one missed calls and twenty four unread text messages. Kurt could only imagine how worried everyone was and it made him feel almost sick to his stomach. It had probably reminded them all of the time he had gone missing and how they didn't know where he was. He briefly thought about sending either his Dad or Blaine a text to let them know that he was on his way home and that he wouldn't be there for a while as he had a long drive back, but in the case he decided against it. He wouldn't be able to respond to any replies once he started driving and that might cause even further worry. He thought that it would be best that he just get home and deal with everything there.
Kurt drove home as fast as he could, often pressing harder on the accelerator than he really should have been, exceeding the speed limits. He was almost too scared to go home and face the music, knowing that he would be in serious trouble. There was no doubt that he would be yelled at and told off. Given his recent mood swings and his ability to bite everyone's heads off, he knew that the confrontation would not go down well with anyone. He quickly parked on the drive behind Finn's car when he got to the house, grabbed his bag and leapt out of the car. He rushed up the pathway, taking note that Blaine's car was there as well, when suddenly the front door burst open to a reveal a frantic Burt Hummel. Upon seeing his son alive and well, he gathered the boy up in his arms as he let out a choked sob. Kurt tentatively hugged his father back, feeling incredibly guilty for all the pain and the worry for he have caused for his family and Blaine for going AWOL. Burt hugged his son tightly to him, letting the happiness of his son being okay wash over him before the anger came roaring back. The older man pulled away and grabbed Kurt's arm, practically dragging him into the house and slamming the door behind them.
"Where the hell have you been?" Burt roared as he pulled Kurt in the living room, taking hold of the school bag and throwing it on the floor, "We've all been out of our minds with worry! Start explaining!"
Kurt glanced around the room, taking in how anxious and upset Carole, Fin and Blaine looked as they watched him from the sofa. He didn't really know how to explain what had made him stay out for hours without letting anyone know where he was or that he was safe.
Kurt pulled his arm from his father's now loose grip, "I'm sorry, okay? I didn't mean for anyone to worry!"
Burt narrowed his eyes at his son, "That doesn't answer my question! Where were you?"
"I was in this park just out of Lima," the teenager finally answered, "I just wanted some space to think."
"That does not excuse your behaviour in any way!" The father yelled, "You should have contacted anyone of us and let us know where you were. All I knew was that you'd left school after swearing at your teacher and that you'd driven off to God knows where! You've been gone for hours and for all we knew, anything could have happened to you! I was in a right mind to call the police!"
Kurt knew that he should apologise and promise that it wouldn't happen again. He did want to, but the anger was building up inside of him, "Yes I know I should have called and I am sorry. I just wanted some time alone to think. I just needed to get away from it all for a while."
"Sorry isn't good enough!" Burt barked, focusing on how scared he had been that his son had disappeared again, "What the hell is going on with you!?"
"Burt..." Carole glanced hesitantly between her husband and her stepson.
Burt ignored his wife, "You ran out of here this morning after refusing to discuss your nightmare with it and you drove off. The next thing I hear is that you've sworn at your teacher after he asked you to sing in Glee club, as well as being rude to your friends. This isn't you! I don't accept this behaviour from you, Kurt Hummel! I know you've been through something that was really traumatic and I get that..."
Kurt couldn't take it anymore, "You don't get it! None of you get it! You all just say you do, but that's a load of bullshit! I've had a shit day and after all that crap in Glee club, which by the way was not all my fault, I just wanted to have a moment to myself so I could have a chance to think. Clearly I can't do that! To answer your question Dad, I don't have a clue to what the hell is going on with me! There, happy?"
No one knew how to react to Kurt's shock outburst, knowing that the boy would probably jump down their throats if they tried to say anything. Burt just stared at his father, terrified that he was losing his son and that soon he wouldn't be able to recognise him due to his behaviour. He had to do something to help him.
"Look, I am really sorry I worried you all. I'm fine and I'm home now," Kurt mumbled, feeling drained from the day's activities, "I'm going to have to call it a day as I'm exhausted. It's been a very long day. As you all have probably guessed, the nightmares are affecting the amount of sleep I get so hopefully if I have an early night, I might get a bit more sleep than usual."
Carole opened her mouth to say something but Kurt beat her to it, "I'm not hungry. Thanks Carole, but I just want to go to bed."
Kurt slowly picked up his school bag off the floor and slung it over his shoulder. He paused as if he'd suddenly had an afterthought, before going over to his boyfriend.
"I am sorry for all the trouble I cause, Blaine. I really am. I love you," he whispered as he leaned in and kissed the dapper boy's cheek.
"I know," Blaine whispered back, his eyes shining slightly with tears, "I love you too."
Kurt smiled sadly at the boy he loved, before biding everyone goodnight and leaving the room. He headed up the stairs and straight to his bedroom, shutting the door behind him. He place his bag on his desk, before pulling out his phone so he could put it on charge. He quickly stripped off is clothes and he just threw them in a corner of his room, leaving them in a small pile. He didn't care if the garments got creased.
Kurt grabbed his pyjamas out from underneath his pillow and he pulled them on, before plugging his phone into the charger. The teenager turned his bedroom lights off by the switch and got into bed, ignoring the fact that it was technically too early for him to be going to bed but he didn't care. The young boy hadn't slept properly in a ridiculous amount of time and he desperately needed it. Kurt snuggled right down in his bed, letting himself relax. All he wanted was a night full of sleep and free of drama. Was that so much to ask?
(Flashback)
Kurt couldn't do it anymore. He didn't want to do it anymore. He was completely wiped out and he had no energy to give. He had already 'serviced' five customers that day and he didn't have anymore.
"Please... I can't," Kurt whimpered, knowing that the consequences of what he was saying, "I have no energy. Please don't make me."
The young boy wasn't stupid. As much as he wished or hoped that he would be let off, Kurt knew that Manson's henchmen would beat him senseless. He tried to convince himself that he wasn't provoking Lee Briggs, the man that had come to inform him of another customer, but he wasn't doing a good job. Briggs was notorious for his brutal beatings. He never seemed to know when to stop. Gladstone and McIntyre had perfected their technique of beating someone to the brink of consciousness and then stopping, leaving them to suffer with all the pain. Briggs just kept going until he was told to stop. It was just Briggs and Kurt in the room, meaning that there was no one to stop him. If he could provoke the Neanderthal enough, Briggs would surely beat him to death. At this point in his young life, Kurt welcomed death. He wanted it.
Briggs' cold eyes met the glaz pair of the eyes, observing the weak teenaged boy in front of him. Kurt held his breath as he waited to see how the man would react. He just wanted all of this to end.
"Don't worry kid, I have something that can help you," the adult said, smirking at the young boy sitting on the bed, "I have something that will give you energy."
Lee Briggs walked over to the now cowering boy on the bed, before reaching into his jacket pocket to pull out a little packet of powder. Kurt's heart stopped when he saw what Briggs had pulled out. He had never been forced to take cocaine before, unlike some of the other teenagers forced into the prostitution ring. He didn't want to sink to another low. He was already being forced to have sex, he didn't want to be forced to take illegal drugs.
Briggs poured some of the white powder onto the back of his hand, making sure there was a sufficient amount, before reaching out grabbing Kurt's hair so he could force his head forward. The older man moved his hand so it was directly beneath Kurt's nose. He manoeuvred his hand so that one of his knuckles was blocking one nostril, leaving the other free to snort the drug. Kurt was absolutely terrified. He knew there was no way out of this situation.
"Here is what's going to happen," Briggs hissed into the terrified boy's ear, "You can going to snort this up through your nose. You just take a big sniff. I'll let go of your hair when it's all gone and you can stop sniffing. This will give you energy and it will give you a high for some time. It'll be enough time for your next customer to fuck you. You can start now."
Briggs' grip tightened on the boy's hair, causing him to let out a whimper. Kurt took a deep breath, grateful in that moment that his mother was not alive to see what had become of him. He only hoped that his father would never know what had happened. Kurt took a big sniff as he had been instructed, coughing a little as he felt the substance enter his nose. He kept sniffing, feeling his nose and his throat start to go numb. He started struggling with his ability to swallow and he could hear himself retching, but Briggs didn't let him go. He could feel his body shaking as the drug was being absorbed into his bloodstream.
Briggs finally let go of Kurt's hair, causing his body to rock forward. He couldn't understand what was happening to him. He suddenly felt alert and wide awake, feeling like he could run for miles if he wanted to. He almost feel happy.
Briggs just laughed as he watched the young boy get used to the drug in his system, "You have energy now, kid! You're going to need it too as your next customer is not someone who takes thing easy. Enjoy!"
Kurt just sat there frozen as he watched Briggs leave the room and let in a man who looked like he was in his late thirties. The man smiled at him as he slowly stayed to remove his shirt.
(Flashback)
Kurt shot up in bed as he let out a loud cry, clutching at his chest as he tried to calm his heavy breathing. He could still remember the comedown that he suffered with from having that drug in his body. He was only 'high' from the cocaine for the period of time that he was with the customer, before he started to feel run down and feel as if he had nothing to live for. Even though he had been tired before taking the drug, the aftermath made him feel as if he had hit rock bottom and there was no way out. It lasted for just over twenty four hours and both Jamie and Luke stayed with him as much as possible, trying to do their best to help him beat this depression.
Kurt reached over to his bedside table to grab his phone. He pressed the home button and the screen lit up, showing him that it was just after two in the morning. He had managed to get a good few hours of sleep but now that was over. Even if he did manage to drift off again, pretty soon he would be woken up by some hideous dream he was having. Kurt put his phone back and tried to get settled in bed again. He already knew that he was attempting the impossible, but he didn't care. His body needed sleep. Kurt knew that there was a high chance that he would not be going to school in the morning. Quite frankly, he didn't want to go. He wanted to have some time to himself, rather than dealing with all the drama every day at school. He picked up his phone again and he turned off his alarm. He knew that if his Dad or Carole tried to make him go to school, he could always pretend that he was going before staying at home. He just couldn't be bothered anymore.
(break)
Kurt put his books into his locker and closed it, happy that the school day was finally over. He hadn't gone to Glee club practice earlier that day as he had not wanted to deal with Mr Schue or any of his friends pestering him in the choir room. He had done his best to avoid Rachel Berry all day as he had been informed by Finn that she was on the warpath after he had admitted that he had blown the note. He had seen a few of his friends in his classes and they had asked him if he was okay. Puck had called him a 'badass' for walking out of school and skiving off, impressed by the boy's actions. Kurt had just smiled and had told them that he was fine, ignoring the voice in his head that told him otherwise. He had laughed at Puck's suggestion, telling him that he felt under the weather so he had thought it would be best to stay at home.
Kurt stood by his locker, watching his fellow classmates head towards the main doors, as he waited for Blaine. They had arranged to meet at his locker after their last classes of the day as they had planned to go to Blaine's house after school. He was just debating whether he should go and find his boyfriend, when Coach Sylvester approached him.
She glanced around to make sure no one was watching them or attempting to listen in, "Porcelain, I know that you must think that I am a terrifying yet seriously attractive thirty year old woman whose dream is to take down Will Schuester and the Glee club. If so, you would be correct. I want to talk to you as I've been noticing your behaviour recently and it has seriously alarmed me. You and I may have had our differences over the years, but I am here for you if you need someone to talk to. I've always like you Porcelain, so I'm willing to do what I can to help you."
"Thank you for your offer, but I'm fine," the student insisted, trying to keep a civil tongue, "Now if you'd excuse me, I need to go and find my boyfriend."
"Porcelain..." Sue Sylvester tried again.
Kurt once again lost it with people trying to interfere, "Just leave me alone! You just want to know what happened to me so you can use it against me to get what you want. I don't need your help, or anyone else's! I can do this on my own!"
Kurt leaned back against the lockers and closed his eyes, hoping that the coach would be gone by the time that he opened them again. He tried to let his breathing even out as he counted slowly to thirty, refusing to let his temper get the better of him.
When he finally opened his eyes, Blaine was watching him with obvious concern.
"Sorry about that," Kurt said, avoiding eye contact, "I just had to deal with Sue Sylvester and I got a little wound up."
Blaine nodded with understanding, letting whatever was going on slide as he knew that Kurt would not offer any more details of what happened, "Oh right. Well, shall we head to mine then?"
Kurt nodded as he accepted Blaine's chaste kiss, before the two boys set off for the car park. The plan was for each boy to drive himself to Blaine's house as Kurt once again had driven the Navigator to school.
After a twenty minute drive from McKinley, Kurt found himself lying on his boyfriend's bed as the latter danced around the room to Roxy music. They had gone straight up to Blaine's room when they had arrived at the Anderson household. Blaine's parents were both at work, but they were happy for the two boys to be in the room with the door shut as they trusted them to be responsible.
Kurt sat up, leaning back on his elbows as he watched his boyfriend dance, lost in the music playing. He hated that there was a distance slowly growing between the two of them. He wanted to feel closer to his boyfriend, but he wasn't sure how to go about it. Blaine was always worrying about him: this having increased since Valentine's Day. He seemed to question everything Kurt did and why he did it. What had happened in New York would always affect their relationship and Kurt hated that.
"Blaine," the older boy finally decided to call out, "Come and lie with me. You're so far away."
The former Warbler seemed to be delighted by this request as he practically leapt onto his bed and laid down next to his boyfriend, cuddling up to him. Kurt wrapped his arms around Blaine and he managed to manoeuvre the two of them so they had rolled over and that he was lying on top of the younger boy, their legs tangled together. Blaine loved the feeling of Kurt on top of him, but it always made him feel slightly worried due to how light Kurt's body felt.
Kurt rested his head on Blaine's shoulder as he let out a relaxed sigh, "I'm so glad I'm here. I really missed you yesterday."
"I missed you too," Blaine replied as he pressed a kiss to the top of his boyfriend's head, "I hated that I couldn't come around after school, but your Dad insisted that since you weren't at school, I couldn't come around."
"He was just trying to punish me," Kurt grunted, annoyed that his father had banned his boyfriend from visiting him, "I know that he was annoyed that I skipped school, but he did promise that he would never stop me from being able to see you."
Blaine couldn't help but smile at how cute the boy he loved was, "That's why you shouldn't skip school, mister! I'm glad you were in today as I would have probably gone all 'Romeo' and called to you from outside your window!"
Blaine's smile widened as Kurt giggled at that, "How romantic. You should have been my hero if you had done that, Blaine Anderson. I would skip school tomorrow, but I can't as it's the weekend."
Kurt let out a shriek as Blaine moved his hand down and he started tickling his stomach, "You'd do no such thing! I'd miss you too much baby. Thankfully, I'm around your house tomorrow so I get to see you no matter what."
"I love you," Kurt managed to gasp out as Blaine took pity on him.
"I love you too," Blaine laughed, taking pleasure in seeing how dishevelled his boyfriend was.
Kurt smiled down at his boyfriend, before he leaned in for a kiss. Blaine eagerly respond, pulling Kurt closer to him, his hands gripping onto the older boy's shirt. Kurt pushed his tongue through into Blaine's mouth, groaning with pleasure as the two tongues met. Blaine's mouth was so warm and Kurt hummed into the kiss, feeling a pleasurable tingling sensation moving throughout his body.
Blaine pulled back, panting softly as he stared up at his boyfriend, "We should... Kurt, we should stop."
Kurt leaned down to suck at the skin beneath Blaine's ear, causing his breathing to quicken, "I don't want to stop. Do you want to stop, Blaine Warbler?"
Kurt pulled back to look down at his boyfriend. He could see how red and swollen his mouth was, the mark that he had just created with his mouth and how flushed he looked.
"I want you, Kurt," Blaine replied, his voice low and full of want, "God, I want you. I don't want to rush you. I want you to be okay."
Kurt couldn't think about any of that. He would cause him to retreat into a shell and he would most likely lash out at his loving boyfriend for no reason.
Kurt leaned back down, his mouth only away from Blaine's, "I am okay and you won't be rushing me. I want you too. We said we'll take it slow and we agreed that it will take us a while to have sex. That doesn't mean we can't have some fun or do some exploring together."
Blaine gasped as Kurt captured his lips in a passionate kiss once again. He groaned, his eyes fluttering shut, as their tongues tangled together. Blaine fisted the material of Kurt's shirt tightly in his hands as he pulled his boyfriend closer. He just wanted him closer. Kurt threw his head and let out a gasp as his body was pulled flush against Blaine's. The younger boy took advantage of this position and he started kissing Kurt's neck, sucking at the sensitive skin. Kurt grabbed onto his boyfriend's shoulder, trying to not whimper at the pleasure he felt cursing through him. He tilted his head downwards, his lips meeting Blaine's once again as the two boys moaned into each other's mouths, unable to believe what was happening.
Kurt sucked in a sharp breath against Blaine's mouth, a sensation of heat in his stomach, when he felt that Blaine was hard against his thigh. He knew that he was hard as well, but the two boys had not been in this situation for a long time. There had been a few occasions before New York, but they had always been interrupted or that they had had reasons to stop. Since returning from New York, everything about their love life had been 'PG'.
Kurt shuffled his body slightly, ensuring that his and Blaine's hips was pressed together, before rolling his hips slightly.
Blaine pulled away with something between a gasp and a moan, his eyes widening at what was happening, "God Kurt... are you sure? Are you sure you're okay?"
Kurt rolled his hips again, taking delight in how Blaine was falling apart, "I'm sure. I'm okay, I promise you. I want this. I want you."
"I want you too," Blaine managed to gasp out, thrusting upwards to meet Kurt rolling his hips, "I love you so much."
"I love you too," Kurt whimpered as he buried his face into the crook of Blaine's neck, kissing and sucking at whatever skin he could reach.
Kurt's hips continued to move, as if they were on their own accord. It was as if all he could think about was creating that friction by moving against Blaine and chasing the pleasure and heat he received from doing so. The whole situation felt incredibly bizarre to him as they were both fully clothed and they were just rubbing against one another, both frantically moving. Blaine's hands were moving all over Kurt's body, occasionally disappearing underneath his shirt and feeling the softness of his skin. Kurt just gripped onto Blaine's shoulders as he kept his face hidden in the crook of his neck, sucking what could be impressive love bites over that particular area of skin. He pulled back slightly, leaning down to kiss his boyfriend as he wanted to feel as close to him as possible.
Kurt cried out against Blaine's mouth, the two no longer kissing but more like breathing into one another's mouths. Blaine had moved his hands down to grab at his arse, pulling their bodies closer still. Their hips were moving faster against one another's, creating friction between the two as their dicks strained in their boxers.
Kurt bit down on his lip, trying to stop himself from babbling nonsense as the heat built up inside his stomach. He had never felt anything like this before and he didn't want it to end.
"Don't bite your lip," Blaine instructed in a breathless manner, thrusting up even harder, "I want you to hear you baby."
The older boy did as he was told, letting the stream of swear words gush out of him, as he felt himself getting closer. He kept his hips moving, making sure that they never faltered. He revelled in the feeling of lying on top of his boyfriend, the two of them being intimate and taking their relationship to the next level.
"Blaine... oh fuck, oh fuck!" Kurt cried out, his hips moving in fast and jerky movements as he searched for his release, "Shit I... god!"
Blaine had reached down to palm at Kurt's dick through his jeans, causing almost unbearable pleasure for the older boy. Kurt squeezed his eyes shut tightly, still moving his hips as he felt the heat in his stomach practically on the brink of explosion. God, he needed to come.
"Come for me, you gorgeous boy!" Blaine whispered, his breath fanning across his boyfriend's face as he pressed a kiss to Kurt's lips, watching the boy he loved come undone.
Kurt could feel his cock pulsing as his hips continued to move, come soaking his underwear, the pleasure rushing through his body as he worked his way through his orgasm. He could barely register Blaine crying out his name as he came too, just trying to get his breath back. Kurt's hips eventually stuttered to a stop and he just let his body collapse on top of his boyfriend, feeling absolutely sated after all of that.
Blaine suddenly burst out laughing, unable to stop the giddiness he felt, "I can't believe that just happened! That was amazing! Kurt, are you okay? Was that okay for you, or was it too much?"
Kurt managed to lift his head slightly so he could look at his boyfriend, "Blaine... I'm fine. It wasn't too much and it was amazing. I'm so happy that we did that. We'll definitely be doing that again! However, I think we need to get out of these clothes."
"I agree," Blaine said softly, smiling at his lover, "Oh Kurt, I love you so much."
"I love you too," Kurt smiled back at him, "You're everything to me. I don't know what I'd do without you."
(break)
(Flashback)
Kurt looked frantically around the room, praying to a deity that he didn't believe in that there was another way out other than the locked door. He had to get out. He didn't want to have sex with some strange person who was paying to be there. He wanted to lose his virginity to Blaine. Ever since the two of them had started dating, he had fantasied about the perfect scenarios in which Blaine and him would first lose their virginities to one another. That was all ruined now. He didn't want to be here. Kurt had been told that there was no escaping no matter what and that the best thing was to just shut your eyes and let it happen. What had he done to deserve this!?
Suddenly the door opened and a man in his late forties walked in, leering at him. Kurt froze with fear, unable to comprehend the reality of what was about to happen.
"Wow," the man whistled, his eyes trailing down Kurt's body, "Manson was absolutely right! You are so angelic and just so innocent. This is exactly what I wanted."
Kurt didn't know to respond to this man talking about him in that manner. He just knew that he had to get out, otherwise there was no hope in hell for him. The young boy could see that the door was still open behind the man and he decided to make a run for it.
Unfortunately, the man had anticipated Kurt's actions and he had easily caught him around the waist, tightening his grip on the boy. Kurt desperately tried to wiggle free, screaming out for help but no one came to his aid. The man tried to cover Kurt's mouth with his hand, but the teenager kept jerking his head away or he would attempt to bite at the incoming hand. Kurt did get out of the man's grip and he tried to start towards the door, but he was instantly grabbed again. This time, the man dragged the terrified boy backwards and he threw him down on the bed. Kurt tried to scrabble backwards, wanting to desperately get away from this man, but it was to no avail. The man had managed to lay on top of the young boy, pinning him to the bed with all of his body weight. Kurt knew at once that he would not be able to get this man off of him.
Kurt knew that there was nothing to be done, so he took his friends' advice and he closed his eyes. He squeezed his eyes tightly shut as he felt his trousers being pulled down and a hand moving up his thigh. Kurt tried to hold back a whimper when he felt a finger running down in between his arse cheeks, pressing down against his arsehole. Kurt had to bite down on his lip as the man shoved a finger inside, not caring whether he hurt the young or not as all he cared about was his own pleasure.
Kurt just laid there, trying to desperately distract himself from what was happening to him. It was so hard not to focus on the pain surging through his body or how roughly the man was treating him. It was as if the man didn't seem him as an actual person, but more like just something there for him to get off from.
The teenager felt something bigger pressing against his arsehole, creating more pain and a burning sensation. This was it. It was official that he, Kurt Hummel, was now a whore. The man suddenly just thrust in, once again not caring how the boy was affected. Kurt let out a long and loud scream, unable to do anything but focus on the pain that was radiating through him. He just wanted it to over. How was he expected to do this day after day for the rest of life? He would rather be dead.
(Flashback)
"Kurt? Kurt! You're okay, I promise you!" Kurt could hear a voice calling him as he tried to distract himself from the pain the man was causing him, "Kiddo, please wake up! I'm here, son. Dad's here."
Kurt's eyes suddenly shot open at those words. His Dad was there, calling him from the darkness. He was safe and he was in his own bed in Lima. The man who had roughly stolen his virginity was nowhere around and he never would be again.
"Kurt?" Burt was weary when addressing his son, hating to see how distressed he was, "Do you want to talk about it?"
The now sobbing boy just shook his head as he flung himself into his father's waiting arms. Burt Hummel held his son to him, trying to hold back the tears himself, hating to see him so distressed and wishing that he could take his pain away. The adult knew that he had to do something as Kurt seemed to be getting worse. He was pushing everyone away and he was suffering with constant nightmares. Burt was confused as to why this was happening as Doctor Morgan had prescribed his son with 'prazosin' to help him sleep and to stop the nightmares.
"Kiddo," Burt finally said as his son started to calm down, "Have you been taking the pills that Doctor Morgan gave you?"
Kurt cowered under his father's gaze, "I was, but that made me feel sick and weak. The nightmares didn't really stop so I stopped taking them."
"Kurt, you need to take them," Burt reprimanded his son, "The doctor has given them to you so they can help you. You need to finish the course of the pills so she can work out whether or not they are truly help. I'm going to make sure that you take your nightly dose."
The young boy nodded, not happy that he was being forced to take those pills. They didn't help him in any way, so why should he take them?
Burt cleared this throat, "I was coming in to wake you up anyway. It's nearly half ten, which is the latest you've slept in in a long time. You must have been really tired last night."
Kurt couldn't help the blush that rose on his cheeks as his father said that. He smiled to himself as he remembered the night before with Blaine. It had been amazing.
"Blaine is downstairs with Finn, watching some cartoon," Burt continued, not noticing how bashful his son had become, "We all heard you screaming, but I insisted that I come up. I can tell Blaine to go if you'd rather just have some time to yourself?"
"No, I'm okay Dad," Kurt said quickly, wanting to see his boyfriend, "Can you send Blaine up please? I do need to relax today and I think a movie day with my boyfriend is what I need."
Burt nodded, before pressing a kiss to his son's temple and letting go of him. With one last look, Burt left the room to retrieve Blaine. Kurt flopped back down onto his bed and closed his eyes, slowly taking deep breaths as he let himself calm down. He was at home and he was safe. Everything that had happened beforehand was in the past and it would stay there.
"Kurt?" The boy in question opened his eyes to see his boyfriend standing at the entrance to his room, panting slightly as if he'd run up the stairs, "Are you okay? Was it a nightmare?"
Kurt knew that Blaine would blame himself if he said that it was about his first time, thinking that the previous day had triggered it, "Yes, but I'm fine. I promise you."
Blaine didn't let it go, "What was it about? Sweetie, you were screaming for help and for someone to stop. Were you being attacked?"
"It doesn't matter," Kurt tried again, sitting up in his bed, wanting his boyfriend to just drop it.
Blaine's eyes suddenly widened, "Oh God. You were screaming for someone to stop. It was a nightmare about someone forcing you to have sex with them. I caused this. I thought that by being intimate as we were last night that it'd bring us closer. Instead it's triggered horrific memories for you, which in turn will push us apart as you won't let me in to help you."
Kurt found himself on his feet, eager to defend himself and the situation, "You did not cause this. Blaine, I have nightmares about what happened to me. That's inevitable and I don't want to talk about them. They're horrific and I just want to forget about them. Me not talking about them is not pushing us apart. Trying to force me to talk about them when I don't want to is what will push us apart. Last night was perfect and the whole time I was focused on you. I didn't feel scared or claustrophobic at any time. I am not comparing it to what happened to me, so please don't do that. Last night did bring us closer together as our relationship is at a new level. I don't want us to compare what we have to what happened in New York. They don't relate and I wish you would see that!"
"They do relate, Kurt!" Blaine argued back, "You're trying to keep your life here separate from the trauma you suffered in New York, but you can't do that! I know you hate that it has affected your life, but you can't ignore it. People want to help you and they want to be there for you as you deal with everything. You're just so bloody stubborn, you won't let anyone in. Talking will help you with the healing process, rather than just shutting everyone out and pretending none of it happened."
"You're all trying to force me to talk about it all," Kurt exploded, fury radiating through him, "I know that what happened in New York will always affect me wherever I go, but I will never be move on from it because of all you constantly bringing it up. Have you ever thought about the fact that what I went through is too horrific for me to be constantly talking about? Have any of you thought about the fact that I don't want to talk about it because I simply can't? I am struggling so much with everything at the moment and all I want is my loved ones to help me enjoy my life. I can't do that if I am constantly reminded of what happened to me. I just want a goddamn break!"
Blaine remained silent as he watched his boyfriend trying to hold himself together. The truth was that he hadn't really thought about the reasons that Kurt didn't want to talk about it. He had just focused on the fact that talking would help his boyfriend and that it would be good to open up. He felt like a terrible boyfriend for not realising the truth behind Kurt's reluctance to talk.
Kurt could sense Blaine's inner turmoil, "Look sweetie, please don't get upset about this. I wasn't trying to blame for you for anything. I'm just suggesting that in the future that you don't push me to talk about things when I don't want to."
"Okay," Blaine whispered, relieved that his boyfriend wasn't mad at him, "Can I ask you something? Was last night really okay?"
"Last night was perfect," Kurt replied, trying to stop the blush from spreading across his face, "I wanted you. You didn't rush me or force me into anything. Please don't worry."
Blaine let out a sigh of relief as Kurt just shook his head at him, "I'm really okay, Blaine. It was all consensual. Right, now that's all done, can you please come and cuddle with me in bed? I just want to lay with you, before we watch a film or have a TV marathon."
The former Warbler just chuckled as he waited for Kurt to get back into bed, before going around the other side and joining him. He laid down and pulled his older boyfriend to his chest, dropping a kiss to his forehead. It was obvious to him that Kurt hadn't slept very well the previous night when he closed his eyes as soon as he laid his head on Blaine's chest.
Kurt did feel slightly guilty that he was just falling asleep when he was supposed to be spending time with his beloved boyfriend. He had wrestled with sleep the majority of the night, before falling into an uneasy sleep until he was disturbed by a nightmare.
"Just go to sleep," Blaine whispered in his boyfriend's ear, watching him drift off to sleep, "I've got you."
(Flashback)
Kurt groaned as Manson once again kicked him in the stomach. He didn't know what he had done to receive a beating, but obviously the ringleader wasn't happy with him.
"You're worthless, Kurt!" Manson sneered, watching as the boy tried to stop the blows from hitting his body, "You're nothing!"
Kurt cried out as the man's foot connected with his ribs, intensifying the pain that was already there from a previous beating. He curled up further into a fetal position, just waiting for Manson to finally stop.
Manson just laughed as he observed the young boy in front of him, "Look how pathetic you are. You're just a whore, aren't you fag? You're a pathetic little fag who nobody loves or cares about. Do you hear that, my little slut? I bet there is no one out there missing you. They're probably relieved that they don't have to put up with you anymore. No one loves you. They probably never did. The little gay boy is out of their lives for good. That's a cause for celebration, if I ever heard one!"
Kurt tried to block out what Manson was saying. He knew there was no truth to it, but he had been here with the Neanderthals for so long now. Did that mean that no one was actually looking for him? He could picture his Dad with Carole and Finn, a perfect family. Blaine could easily have moved on, especially since their relationship had been cut short due to his disappearance. He could be replaced in the New Directions by anyone who had a decent voice. Maybe everyone had given up on him and had moved on with their lives. Maybe Manson was telling him the truth, something he had been trying to deny since day one. Maybe it was time that he accepted it.
(Flashback)
Kurt's eyes flashed open in panic, trying to convince himself that it was just a dream. He tried to sit up but he found that he was pinned down by a pair of arms holding him. Kurt had known it was all too good to be true. He had never left that god awful basement and now he was lying with a customer, ready to cause him more pain.
"Kurt! It's me, Blaine!" Kurt felt the arms let go of him as he turned his head to follow the voice, "I won't hurt you, baby. It's me."
The older boy felt his body relax slightly as he leaned against Blaine's body, revelling in his boyfriend once again wrapping his arms around him, "I'm sorry. I know you won't hurt me. I just had a bit of a bad dream, that's all. I forgot where I was when I woke up."
"You're home and you're safe," Blaine replied as he rested his chin on top of Kurt's head, "I've got you."
"I want this to go away. I just want everything to be okay," Kurt cried, feeling the sobs starting to build up for the second time that day, "I hate this!"
Blaine held his boyfriend tightly as the boy cried into his shirt, wishing that there was something that he could do to take the pain away. He hated seeing the boy he loved like this. It was heart-breaking.
Kurt didn't know what to do anymore. He was trying to live a normal life, but to no avail. He was desperately clinging to the idea that everything was okay in his world and that he was doing fine, but he knew that he was just in denial. His life would never be the same again and soon everything around him would come crashing down, there was no denying that.